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The Ray
03-27-2008, 06:07 PM
Source
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,342099,00.html

SYDNEY — A New Zealand man has been sentenced to community service after telling police he was raped by a wombat and the experience had made him speak "Australian".

Arthur Ross Cradock, 48, from the South Island town of Motueka, called police on February 11 and told them he was being raped at his home by the wombat and he needed help, The Nelson Mail newspaper reported.

The orchard worker later called back and said: "Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right, you know."

Cradock pleaded guilty in the local court to using a phone for a fictitious purpose. He was sentenced to 75 hours' community work.

Poli
cedardryad
03-27-2008, 06:17 PM
So is that the secret to speaking Austrailian? I'll risk it.
Chris Hansbrough
03-27-2008, 06:22 PM
So is that the secret to speaking Austrailian? I'll risk it.

no wonder Cam can be so fucking weird......wait......are we talking rape or consentual sex? because both are rape......although I guess that's no worse than the Welsh :p
ElvisGuy
03-27-2008, 06:30 PM
Don't let Bert read this !
Ben Morgan
03-27-2008, 06:31 PM
Stony is such a joker...
Netley
03-27-2008, 07:17 PM
The secret origin of Wombatman. (Soon to be retconned anyway.)
Spike-X
03-27-2008, 08:11 PM
What the...?!
Monty_Cristo
03-27-2008, 08:46 PM
if only Sam Beckett had quantum lept into his sister. this might never have happened.
WhiteRose
03-27-2008, 08:50 PM
*headdesk*
KPhoebe
03-27-2008, 11:38 PM
Sadly, that's about as exciting as things get in Motueka.
Infra-Man
03-28-2008, 12:18 AM
Was it Wombatman from the show Captain N: The Game Master?
Ben Morgan
03-28-2008, 12:23 AM
Every time I see this thread I think it says "Man Raped by Wal Mart"
Chris Hansbrough
03-28-2008, 12:55 AM
Was it Wombatman from the show Captain N: The Game Master?

Kevinicus we must battle wombatmanicus
The Ray
03-28-2008, 01:01 AM
Sadly, that's about as exciting as things get in Motueka.

Is wombat rape an issue in Motueka?
Gail Simone
03-28-2008, 02:13 AM
I hate to say this, but how do we know that the man and the wombat didn't have a prior relationship?
Gail Simone
03-28-2008, 02:17 AM
I hate to say this, but how do we know that the man and the wombat didn't have a prior relationship?
Cam63
03-28-2008, 03:15 AM
Speed dating does have it's risks, folks.
Spike-X
03-28-2008, 04:06 AM
I hate to say this, but how do we know that the man and the wombat didn't have a prior relationship?
Just because they knew each other, DOESN'T MEAN IT'S NOT RAPE!!!
the4thpip
03-28-2008, 04:30 AM
He should have slept in one of these:

http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/3/2008/03/thumb463x_quantumsleeper.jpg
The Xenos
03-28-2008, 04:40 AM
Obviously the guy was raped. All wombats are rapists. Wombats who pressure men into sex are rapists. That men who are pressured are not freely consenting and are therefore being raped. There have been a few discussions recently in the radical anti-wombat blogosphere debating whether all wombat initiated sex is rape, given that men are politically, socially and economically subordinate to wombat .I would argue that most 'sex' between wombats and men, in the contemporary 'sex-positive', pornographic, wombat-supremacist culture, is rape.
Spike-X
03-28-2008, 05:02 AM
Joss Whedon is a wombat!


Eats roots and leaves.
Michael P
03-28-2008, 05:27 AM
Joss Whedon is a wombat!


Eats, roots and leaves.

Fixed it for you.
KPhoebe
03-28-2008, 06:37 AM
Is wombat rape an issue in Motueka?

Well, usually it's wallabies. Like I said, exciting new twist!
KPhoebe
03-28-2008, 06:39 AM
Just because they knew each other, DOESN'T MEAN IT'S NOT RAPE!!!

Seriously! It's a lack of consent *at the time of the offence* that defines man/wombat rape, not what the man was wearing, or how long he knew the wombat or even if the man and wombat had previously engaged in consensual burrow-digging, IF you know what I mean, and I think you do!

And by "you", I mean "Cam".
Infra-Man
03-28-2008, 06:43 AM
Kevinicus we must battle wombatmanicus

I'm mega-pleased that someone got that mega-reference.
Alan Lynch
03-28-2008, 06:50 AM
Cradock pleaded guilty in the local court to using a phone for a fictitious purpose. He was sentenced to 75 hours' community work.

Poli
That's a fucking crime? I don't even know what that means, outside of fake animal rapes.

And I did an honest-to-God double take when I saw this thread.
KPhoebe
03-28-2008, 08:07 AM
That's a fucking crime? I don't even know what that means, outside of fake animal rapes.

And I did an honest-to-God double take when I saw this thread.

Well, you're not allowed to prank call 111, and that's what the crime was.
Alan Lynch
03-28-2008, 08:18 AM
Well, you're not allowed to prank call 111, and that's what the crime was.
They should call that something like "wasting police time", or "endagering life". "Ficticious reasons" sounds like they could lock you up for calling the wrong number by mistake. It's just such an awkward phrase - the guy didn't have ficticious reasons for calling 911, just a really stupid one.
KPhoebe
03-28-2008, 08:30 AM
They should call that something like "wasting police time", or "endagering life". "Ficticious reasons" sounds like they could lock you up for calling the wrong number by mistake. It's just such an awkward phrase - the guy didn't have ficticious reasons for calling 911, just a really stupid one.

Agreed.

But 111! That is our number!
Alan Lynch
03-28-2008, 08:56 AM
Agreed.

But 111! That is our number!
Gah! Schoolboy error. 111 is a fine emergency number.
4thHorseman
03-28-2008, 10:32 AM
Every time I see this thread I think it says "Man Raped by Wal Mart"

Actually, I thought this was going to be about the man who claimed BigFoot raped him:confused:
Jared_Humpherys
03-28-2008, 10:47 AM
http://www.earlstees.com/shop/catalog/images/HandBanana.jpg
diana_fan
03-28-2008, 11:22 AM
Seriously! It's a lack of consent *at the time of the offence* that defines man/wombat rape, not what the man was wearing, or how long he knew the wombat or even if the man and wombat had previously engaged in consensual burrow-digging, IF you know what I mean, and I think you do!

And by "you", I mean "Cam".


This may be the greatest post ever.
the4thpip
03-28-2008, 11:52 AM
Gah! Schoolboy error. 111 is a fine emergency number.

Especially in times of phones with dials! By the time Britons had dialed 999, the house had burned down!
Solaris
03-28-2008, 02:57 PM
Every time I see this thread I think it says "Man Raped by Wal Mart"


That's funnier than the real thread title! LOL
Solaris
03-28-2008, 02:59 PM
He should have slept in one of these:

http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/3/2008/03/thumb463x_quantumsleeper.jpg


They got that from Spike's bedroom, didn't they? Spike from "Buffy," not our Spike.

Well... I *think* not our Spike.

:D
Monty_Cristo
03-28-2008, 06:42 PM
*waits for the inevitable retaliation* have any wombats been raped, yet? it's a vicious cycle of violence that needs to stop!
Ben Morgan
03-28-2008, 07:47 PM
Actually, I thought this was going to be about the man who claimed BigFoot raped him:confused:
Jack needs to stop raping people