I see stupid people.

[TomStillwell]

After work today I was walking down the train platform towards the exit when I noticed a young man shuffling along in front of me. He was shuffling because the waist of his oversized jeans (with a belt?) were below his ass cheeks.

When he reached the end of the platform there was a set of maybe six steps down. He decided to jump them and of course his jeans fell to his ankles. His pants tripped him up and he fell forward. Luckily he caught himself before slamming his face into the pavement.

When he got up the gates blocking pedestrian were down because our train had just left the station. The train is ground level and many people (not me) are impatient and duck under the gates when they know a train isn't coming. But not this genius. He's too lazy to duck. Instead he tried to push the heavy metal gate up so he could walk under. He ended up dropping the gate on his head as he went under and knocked himself out.

I pulled him off the track and called 911. By then a CTA employee took over and I went on my way home.

Who knew getting off a train could be so dangerous?

[The Ray]

Who knew getting off a train could be so dangerous?

I did. Those things are fucking disaster areas once you hit places like Union Square and Grand Central during rush hour.

[Michael P]

I did. Those things are fucking disaster areas once you hit places like Union Square and Grand Central during rush hour.

You're in New York? Here's some fun: carry a large musical instrument case around with you on the uptown 1, 2 or 3 on a Saturday night.

Anyway, good for you, Tom, for protecting this guy from himself.

[Tor]

I suppose we should just hope he doesn't have children.

[TomStillwell]

You're in New York? Here's some fun: carry a large musical instrument case around with you on the uptown 1, 2 or 3 on a Saturday night.

Anyway, good for you, Tom, for protecting this guy from himself.

Truth be told I'd probably have done humanity a favor by letting a train squash his noggin. I'm surprised this guy had the brain power to draw breath.

[Linkara]

I don't get the appeal of walking around in pants that fall off your ass. Doesn't it defeat the point of the pants?

[Tor]

I don't get the appeal of walking around in pants that fall off your ass. Doesn't it defeat the point of the pants?

Not only that, but if you, say... need to run away quickly from people... you are seriously fucked.
With pants/shorts that low, it's every bit as restricting as a tight skirt--when the belt is around your thighs. Obviously when your pants are down to the ankles, all that's left for you is to bite a pillow and deal with the consequences.

Nice job regardless, Tom.

[CutterMike]

It's always fascinated me that the gangsta-wannabes can't seem to grasp the concept that that "style" was started in jail, at least partly, BECAUSE not having a belt holding up your jeans made it harder for you to move and easier for the guards to catch you if you tried doing something stupid!

[Stressfactor]

We need a smilie for laughing so hard you're crying.

Thank you Tom for that story. I've been a bit depressed lately with the "why won't winter STOP?! blues" and your story of yet another person who probably should be removed from the breeding pool has made me laugh.

Have a cookie.

[beetlebum]

Yeah, I was feeling a bit down today (issues with self esteem, and me mum), but this story made me laugh out loud. As bad as my life gets, I take comfort in knowing that at least I'm not as dumb as this guy. :D Thanks Tom, for that few seconds where I'm allowed to forget the world.

[TomStillwell]

Not only that, but if you, say... need to run away quickly from people... you are seriously fucked.
With pants/shorts that low, it's every bit as restricting as a tight skirt--when the belt is around your thighs. Obviously when your pants are down to the ankles, all that's left for you is to bite a pillow and deal with the consequences.

Nice job regardless, Tom.

They did a study and found that wearing your pants in this fashion actually weakens certain leg muscles used when running. Young athletes were complaining to trainers and doctors that they had become slower and couldn't figure out why. Research showed that you underuse some muscles in your legs when walking with your pants around your hips.

The natural human gait is being altered.

[KevinTBrown]

After work today I was walking down the train platform towards the exit when I noticed a young man shuffling along in front of me. He was shuffling because the waist of his oversized jeans (with a belt?) were below his ass cheeks.

When he reached the end of the platform there was a set of maybe six steps down. He decided to jump them and of course his jeans fell to his ankles. His pants tripped him up and he fell forward. Luckily he caught himself before slamming his face into the pavement.

When he got up the gates blocking pedestrian were down because our train had just left the station. The train is ground level and many people (not me) are impatient and duck under the gates when they know a train isn't coming. But not this genius. He's too lazy to duck. Instead he tried to push the heavy metal gate up so he could walk under. He ended up dropping the gate on his head as he went under and knocked himself out.

I pulled him off the track and called 911. By then a CTA employee took over and I went on my way home.

Who knew getting off a train could be so dangerous?

Knowing exactly what the station looks like makes this even funnier...

You're a good man, Tom. Even in the face of utter stupidity, you lent a hand.

[ninjapeps]

That's something special. I'm glad the stupid people I encounter are just the don't-bother-reading-signs variety.

[Flamebird]

This guy sounds like a future nominee for the "Darwin Awards".

Cool that you saved the idiot, but did you have time to put on the mask and cape first?

[TomStillwell]

Knowing exactly what the station looks like makes this even funnier...

You're a good man, Tom. Even in the face of utter stupidity, you lent a hand.

For those of you who don't live in Chicago...

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a309/Zapow21/Just%20Stuff/022.jpg
The platform with the exit at the top of the picture.

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a309/Zapow21/Just%20Stuff/020.jpg
The gates.

[Erik Burnham]

Ah, thug style.

Sorry... it just all tends to look silly to me. Clothes three to four sizes too large? Oversized hats with unbroken bills cocked at odd angles, with stickers and tags still affixed? Pants below hips?

*sigh*

I'm old, aren't I?

Still, good on ya, Tom.

[Lester C.]

For those of you who don't live in Chicago...

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a309/Zapow21/Just%20Stuff/022.jpg
The platform with the exit at the top of the picture.

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a309/Zapow21/Just%20Stuff/020.jpg
The gates.

Isn't that the first stop away from Union Station?

[Your Imaginary Pal]

I see stupid people.
put down the mirror for a moment. There, all better.

edit:
didn't read the thread yet just saying something inane, as is the tradition here.

Upon actually reading the post, I commend you, but do agree that you mave have got in the way of evolution.
I can't decide whether the guy is a lemming(well he wasn't following anyone, except trend setters,) or just a plain everyday dumbass. If nothing else this event will probably inspire some great stories, hell you can get deep with the heroic challenge of rescuing a society bent on it's own destruction.

[Rik Levins]

It's always fascinated me that the gangsta-wannabes can't seem to grasp the concept that that "style" was started in jail, at least partly, BECAUSE not having a belt holding up your jeans made it harder for you to move and easier for the guards to catch you if you tried doing something stupid!

I've also heard that it was how, among the prison population, you identified the "bitch". Easier access, and all that.

[CutterMike]

I've also heard that it was how, among the prison population, you identified the "bitch". Easier access, and all that.

HA!

I hadn't heard that one... Probably a good one to spread around on the street, just to see the reaction!*

As I said, I'd just heard that without a belt you didn't have a metal-tipped flail, you couldn't run, and you couldn't fight when you had one hand holding your pants up.

* Another one that I'm currently spreading - which is perfectly true, by the way, which is what makes it so effective - is that, if you ask the manufacturers of car sound systems, they'll tell you that there is absolutely no evidence that sitting on top of the pulsating magnetic fields of those big in-car sub-woofers is causing testicular cancer...

[MartinRedmond]

Jesus you deserve an award. And I'm not sarcastic.

[MacQuarrie]

HA!

I hadn't heard that one... Probably a good one to spread around on the street, just to see the reaction!*

As I said, I'd just heard that without a belt you didn't have a metal-tipped flail, you couldn't run, and you couldn't fight when you had one hand holding your pants up.

* Another one that I'm currently spreading - which is perfectly true, by the way, which is what makes it so effective - is that, if you ask the manufacturers of car sound systems, they'll tell you that there is absolutely no evidence that sitting on top of the pulsating magnetic fields of those big in-car sub-woofers is causing testicular cancer...

And this is why we love CutterMike.

Remember, kids; other people's minds are your playground.

[Monty_Cristo]

i was talking to an insurance agent on the phone a couple of hours ago. they had tripped the alarm in their office; the siren was really loud. anyways, i told them to enter their disarming code. so the insurance agent, on a touch-tone phone, started punching the code into the phone. see, it's not just gangstas.

[cedardryad]

When he reached the end of the platform there was a set of maybe six steps down. He decided to jump them and of course his jeans fell to his ankles. His pants tripped him up and he fell forward. Luckily he caught himself before slamming his face into the pavement.

Luckily? It would've prevented the latter from happening, but it would've still been amusing.

When he got up the gates blocking pedestrian were down because our train had just left the station. The train is ground level and many people (not me) are impatient and duck under the gates when they know a train isn't coming. But not this genius. He's too lazy to duck. Instead he tried to push the heavy metal gate up so he could walk under. He ended up dropping the gate on his head as he went under and knocked himself out.

I pulled him off the track and called 911. By then a CTA employee took over and I went on my way home.


Why did you save him? Now he will go on and make babies with some poor hopeless female; if he hasn't already. You are a kind soul indeed Tom.

[TomStillwell]

Isn't that the first stop away from Union Station?

No, it's the Kedzie stop (the Spaulding Ave. exit) on the northbound Brownline CTA train. It's one stop (Kimball is the last) from the end of the line. It's on the Northside of Chicago.

[TomStillwell]

Luckily? It would've prevented the latter from happening, but it would've still been amusing.



Why did you save him? Now he will go on and make babies with some poor hopeless female; if he hasn't already. You are a kind soul indeed Tom.

I saw someone get hit by a Metra train back in my hometown of Berwyn. It's not something I'd wish on anyone. Another person too impatient to wait for the gates to go up.

So pulling his dumb ass off the tracks was really the only decent thing to do.

Heck, who knows, maybe he ran out in traffic and got hit by a car later in the day. I probably only delayed his moronic demise.

[cedardryad]

I can only imagine how horrible that sight is. I remember a while bak when this girl got hit by a train in NY, because she just had to jump in the tracks to get her brand new cell phone she just bought with her first pay check. C'mon really?! I wouldn't risk my life for a piece of plastic I could save up for again.

[Darediva]

I was in Taco Bell the other day, and the kid in front of me at the counter, who I assume either knew the people working there, or had worked there at one time, reached across the counter to get a drink cup. The only responsible person in the whole place was the lady who I know has worked in there for at least the past five years, and she's at least my age. She told the guy to get his hands off the cups and get off the counter. The kid gave her a go-to-hell look, and sauntered off. It was then that I noticed his ass cheeks about to come right out of his droopy pants. I had this sudden urge to reach over and pull them around his ankles, and go "Oops!" But I didn't.

He left the restaurant walked across the parking lot, and then turned around and came back in. I was marveling at the thought that his gravity-defying pants were still up. I still had to restrain myself to keep from tripping his goofy ass as I left. Another candidate for the Darwin award, I thought.

You are a good man, Tom Stillwell. You always manage to do the right thing. Even for stupid people.

[cedardryad]

In high school I remember sitting on a bench at the mall with my friend when two guys walked by. One was holding up his pants as he walked. I yelled out, "It's called a belt, use one."

[Cam63]

Duct tape works too.

[Spike-X]

The funniest thing is when they're wearing a belt, and their pants are still half way down their arse.

[Cam63]

The funniest thing is when they're wearing a belt, and their pants are still half way down their arse.

Fashion is weird.

[WhiteRose]

I am seeing this all happening in my head and LAUGHING MY ASS OFF.

Seriously, people are staring at me and wondering what's going on. Oh boys.