Entire Family Beats Child

[tricksterpup]

Entire Family Beats Child

Minneapolis, Minnesota (AP) - A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a Hennepin County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Vikings, whom the boy firmly believes are not currently capable of beating anyone.

[Jack Zodiac]

Ah hahahaha! The title was great enough, but the punchline was fuckin' hilarious! You've earned a whole sheet of banana stickers.

[Shellhead]

That's pretty funny, but the truth is that the Vikings sometimes will beat him for the first three quarters and then let him win.

[jessecuster3]

Awesome! Thanks pup.

[hoffmandu]

I hate you Trick...................

[Huh?]

Best bait and switch thread ever!

[Paradox]

Suckered me in.

**golfclap**

[Super-Skrull]

Not cool, dude. Not cool.

[Jack Zodiac]

The only way this thread could be more awesome is if immediately after the punchline, it broke into the "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" theme.

[tricksterpup]

The only way this thread could be more awesome is if immediately after the punchline, it broke into the "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" theme.

Just for you.

Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air

In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Startin making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suite case and send me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.

First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.

But wait I hear there're prissy, wine all that
Is Bel-Air the type of place they send this cool cat?
I don't think sow
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air

Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightening, disappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say this cab is rare
But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air

[jessecuster3]

The only way this thread could be more awesome is if immediately after the punchline, it broke into the "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" theme.

I have no idea what you are talking about. (http://youtube.com/watch?v=upvweQDrd5c)

[Puma]

Brilliant. Just brilliant.

[Ray R.]

Just for you.

Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air

In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Startin making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suite case and send me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.

First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.

But wait I hear there're prissy, wine all that
Is Bel-Air the type of place they send this cool cat?
I don't think sow
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air

Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightening, disappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say this cab is rare
But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air


I'm partial to "Parents Just Don't Understand." It spoke to an entire generation.

[sehthan]

Y'know what's funny? When I glanced at the first post, I thought "Looks like he just posted a news clipping without adding any commentary. He done broke them rules." So, joke's on me twice!

[tricksterpup]

Y'know what's funny? When I glanced at the first post, I thought "Looks like he just posted a news clipping without adding any commentary. He done broke them rules." So, joke's on me twice!

There is NO RULES when it comes to Tricksterpup.. learn this lesson well.

[Deathstroke]

It's always funny but I saw that same story circling around the Net a while ago.

Plus nowadays that should be the Bengals or Cardinals...:D

[Aaron Kashtan]

I was told a very similar joke by an old man at a Minneapolis-area nursing home. According to his version of the joke, Baby Bear was being beaten by Mama Bear and Papa Bear, and Baby Bear said he wanted to live with the Chicago Bears, because they couldn't beat anyone except the Vikings.

[Kevin M.]

That was just great Trick. It was fucked up, but had one hell of a punch line.

[Quarterwolf]

HAHAHA. We had this joke awhile ago around here. Only we used the Bears since this is Wisconsin.

[Ben Morgan]

That was great, you've done good Pup

[Knightmare27]

I LOL till I cried that was awesome.

[Pól Rua]

Nicely played, that man.

[cernunnos]

Good joke. I actually thought it was a real news story until I read the bit about the Vikings.

[Fenris]

... I am so out of touch.

I spent a long moment imagining the boy in a Viking helmet, waving a battleaxe around and chasing all the (historical) Vikings away, before I realized what the joke was about.


õ
But it was still a good joke!

[Demon wizard]

You got me good. I thought something was fishy half way through, but I just thought the boy was lying.

[Chris N]

Wait... is that the football team?


I figure if there's nobody in the family able to care for the boy, he'd be made a ward of the state, go to a foster home or some such.

I don't understand what it means for a football team to adopt a child.

Will they just make him their mascot or something?

[Diablito]

This was great. I was totally expecting a sad story, but the bait and switch was a surprise. Good joke!

[Rachel Grey]

lol epic win :D

[tricksterpup]

Wait... is that the football team?


I figure if there's nobody in the family able to care for the boy, he'd be made a ward of the state, go to a foster home or some such.

I don't understand what it means for a football team to adopt a child.

Will they just make him their mascot or something?

No it was a bunch of Nordic Vikings..
http://www.historicaldocuments.com/VikingsLanding.jpg



Some times you make it to easy on yourself. :rolleyes:

[Ben Morgan]

I wish a bunch of Vikings would adopt me

[Paradox]

Well, first we have to get your whole family to beat you, Ben. And by "family", I mean everyone at CBR, too. :D

[Ben Morgan]

Well, I already beat up Demon Wizard...

[Pinball]

I bet i can beat him at Dance Dance Revolution.

[Ben Morgan]

Oh, it's on!

[Fish Sauce]

That confused the hell out of me, I have to say.

[Forefinger]

Brilliant. Just brilliant.

Amen to that.

This is why I always vote for tricksterpup for COTM and COTY.

[Chris N]

Amen to that.

This is why I always vote for tricksterpup for COTM and COTY.

Uh huh.


And the sexual favours have nothing to do with it.


Sure.

[Hellbaby]

My dad told me one like that except it was of the St. Louis Blues a few years ago, when they were at the bottom of the NHL. He is a juvenile officer, so I believed it at first, too, since he deals with that stuff sometimes.

[tricksterpup]

Uh huh.


And the sexual favours have nothing to do with it.


Sure.

your just jealous cause Fore gives better oral than you do.

[Forefinger]

your just jealous cause Fore gives better oral than you do.

Since when do I give oral favors, hemanslutwhore?

[Jota]

I wish a bunch of Vikings would adopt meDo you want to learn how to pillage and plunder?

[Spike-X]

Do you want to learn how to pillage and plunder?
Fuckin' spammers!

[Spike-X]

Fuckin' double posts!

[tricksterpup]

Fuckin' spammers!


Fuckin' double posts!

Your on your way to being a viking.