New Contest...... Pitch the WORST comics idea you can imagine!

[Pink Bat Max]

'Cause I'm bored, and have no prizes to give, of course I'm making a new contest....! This one: Come up with the WORST pitch for a new comic EVER.

I'll judge it and denote the winner/winners next.... oh, let's say Tuesday.

Go!

[Cayman]

Countdown.

[Erik Burnham]

Hillary Rodham-Clinton.

George W. Bush.

A talking bottle of SCOPE.

They fight crime.

[Cayman]

Dial S...For Sex Offender!

When brave teen Tom Tanner uses his magic dial artifact, he becomes for one hour a random sex offender taken from the real-life National Sex Offender Registry!

Amazons Attack Again!

In each issues, the Amazons attack something, choosing their targets in alphabetic order.

Vibe: Year One

Vibe is dead, but his memory lives on. Explore how Vibe became the hero he became before he died.

[Erik Burnham]

Amazons Attack Again!

In each issues, the Amazons attack something, choosing their targets in alphabetic order.

Vibe: Year One

Vibe is dead, but his memory lives on. Explore how Vibe became the hero he became before he died.

DC Zombies. That's where it's all headed. Why else would they be killing so many characters? (;

[Pink Bat Max]

DC Zombies. That's where it's all headed. Why else would they be killing so many characters? (;

Actually, that could well be what The Blackest Night will end up as.....

[Jack Zodiac]

Dr. Light: Secret Files and Origins. :o Too soon?

The Marvel Family, starring Black Mary (aka Marvel Vag), Shazam or Captain Marvel or Marvel or CM3 or whateverthefuck he's calling himself now (aka Captain Soulpatch Jr.), and a new Hoppy the Marvel Bunny who curses and carries a switchblade.

Actually, that could well be what The Blackest Night will end up as.....

"Unoriginality! Bank on it! We do!"

It could be DC's new catchphrase!

[Erik Burnham]

Dr. Light: Secret Files and Origins. :o Too soon?

The Marvel Family, starring Black Mary (aka Marvel Vag), Shazam or Captain Marvel or Marvel or CM3 or whateverthefuck he's calling himself now (aka Captain Soulpatch Jr.), and a new Hoppy the Marvel Bunny who curses and carries a switchblade.


You really need to stop hacking into Judd's computer.

[Jack Zodiac]

Ya' got me! :( I'm the reason why he hasn't written anything decent since Exiles. I keep replacing all of his scripts with my joke scripts figuring his editor would realize what was up, but apparently not!

[Bo Bo]

A goldfish explores his aquarium, then forgets what he saw and explores it again, then forgets and explores it again so on and so forth... I believe a giant sized issue is needed to contain the awesomnes that is "The Adventures of Goldfish" (copyright pending)

[Hybrid2]

Spider-Man.
Peter sell his marriage to the devil(he's on a diet)
to save his aunt.
so the last 20 years of marvel comic never hapened!

It's genious!

MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhaha..err..hahahahahaha

[Cayman]

A goldfish explores his aquarium, then forgets what he saw and explores it again, then forgets and explores it again so on and so forth... I believe a giant sized issue is needed to contain the awesomnes that is "The Adventures of Goldfish" (copyright pending)

This thread is supposed to be for ideas that aren't COMPLETE GENIUS!

[Erik Burnham]

Spider-Man.
Peter sell his marriage to the devil(he's on a diet)
to save his aunt.
so the last 20 years of marvel comic never hapened!

It's genious!

MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhaha..err..hahahahahaha

The tears now flow freely.

[Bo Bo]

This thread is supposed to be for ideas that aren't COMPLETE GENIUS!

Damn, i'll try to put more thought into it for my next pitch (or should it be less thought :confused: )

[Joshua Pantalleresco]

The secret romance between Spider Man and Spider Ham. Hey, they can always wipe this out with a deal with the devil.

JP

[GozertheGozarian]

Wolverine joins every team in the Marvel Universe as we find out his parents were a mixture of every nationality on earth. Then, while somehow becoming leader of every team, he guest stars in every Marvel title simultaneously.

[PatrickG]

Time speeds up except for one man in an isolation chamber. Centuries pass between panels as he tries to find his way to a bathroom before the buildings are torn down.

Next issue: Food dissolves before he can touch it!

Final issue: The Slow Man meets the woman of his dreams: The Slow Woman. Lust at first sight! Can he unzip his pants before the universe ends?

[Dazzler]

Time speeds up except for one man in an isolation chamber. Centuries pass between panels as he tries to find his way to a bathroom before the buildings are torn down.

Next issue: Food dissolves before he can touch it!

Final issue: The Slow Man meets the woman of his dreams: The Slow Woman. Lust at first sight! Can he unzip his pants before the universe ends?

Sounds like something Grant Morrison would write...
You'd be labelled a genius, but would it be any GOOD...?
;)

--Dazz

[PatrickG]

Sounds like something Grant Morrison would write...
You'd be labelled a genius, but would it be any GOOD...?
;)

--Dazz

The point is for it to be bad.

[Dazzler]

The point is for it to be bad.

I was more editorializing Grant Morrison than anything.

I'd love to play the game, but all of my ideas are PURE GENIUS I TELL YOU!

*sigh*
it sucks when I can't even come up with a BAD idea, much less any good ones.

--Dazz

[Infra-Man]

A comic book adaptation of the John Cage music composition 4′33″ (aka four minutes thirty-three seconds of silence).

[a. non]

Batman Loves Selina Kyle:

Batman comes to terms with his attraction to Selina, and decides he must have her. Every page of every issue would be drawn like Where's Waldo: Selina would be shown living ordinary life, in the middle of giant crowds, with Batman somewhere in the scene, looking at her through his bat-noculars. Art by Rob Liefeld.

[PatrickG]

BTW, how to make it good?

Tell the story from the other perspective. The scientists who study him and determine that he must be impossibly invulnerable not to be ripped to shreds by simple air molecules. The cult that forms around him and the religion it becomes. The pilgrims' plight. The high priest's inquisition against heretics. The holy war. The next wave of scientists. The time when he is forgotten. The child who talks to him. The end of humanity. The aliens who are secretly responsible for his condition. Their downfall. The secret of the Slow Woman. And how the consumation of their passion extends just beyond the end of the universe and how their biological matter seeds the reborn post-Big Crunch universe in such a way that the new history unfolds radically different as new races evolve from their remains.

[Infra-Man]

Actually, given the non-music John Cage reference in the previous post, might as well also pitch:

Andy Warhol's Sleep as a five-issue mini-series

[Tommy]

Pregnant Teenagers... with guns!

[Dazzler]

Pregnant Teenagers... with guns!

OH NO!That shit right there is HOT HOT HOT.

I would read that lickety split, yo.

--Dazz

[TomStillwell]

Wolverine joins every team in the Marvel Universe as we find out his parents were a mixture of every nationality on earth. Then, while somehow becoming leader of every team, he guest stars in every Marvel title simultaneously.

How would that be different from Marvel now?

[TomStillwell]

G'nort, the new bearer of Parallax, goes on a multiverse killing spree with his new buddy, Super Emo Boy Prime. An unexpected love is found between kindred souls...

[Bo Bo]

100+ pages, nine panels minimum each page: "Watching Grass Grow"

[Cam63]

Godzilla as a Special Ed teacher.

[The Zapper]

A canon Joker origin/back story.

[Erik Burnham]

How would that be different from Marvel now?

He's too old for the New Warriors.

Well, you asked.

[Erik Burnham]

Two words:

Uncle Bane.

[Karen El]

"The Story of Feet" drawn by Rob Liefeld.

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

The adventures of Greg Land searching for a magazine so heavy, even he could not trace from it.

(no, I don't know how that works, either)

[Cam63]

"The Story of Feet" drawn by Rob Liefeld.

" Breasts: Which Way Do They Go Again ? " by the same artist.

[Erik Burnham]

The adventures of Greg Land searching for a magazine so heavy, even he could not trace from it.

(no, I don't know how that works, either)

The paper would just need to be too thin to lightbox!

[Cam63]

Apparently, we're all full of bad ideas !

[Infra-Man]

Godzilla as a Special Ed teacher.

I dunno, Cam, I'd totally buy a comic like that.

[Cam63]

Even with the students on fire ?

[Dazzler]

Even with the students on fire ?

Trust me. ESPECIALLY with the students on fire.

I would buy two copies and indulge my fantasies all day and all of the night.

--Dazz

[Evan Waters]

This thread is supposed to be for ideas that aren't COMPLETE GENIUS!

That's the problem with this thread. The worst ideas always circle around and become awesome.

[Cam63]

*Contacts DC with pitch idea*

[Joshua Pantalleresco]

I got it. A three's company pitch featuring Mr. Mxyplitz, Mr. Nebula, and a villain named simply Didio. Each have the power to alter reality at the snap of their fingers.

Hilarity insues as each character goes across the multiverse in search of the Universe where Las Vegas is everything. And when that fails they try to make it.

There...how bad can you get?

JP

PS...OOH, and what if they could only speak like Yoda?

[Cam63]

PS...OOH, and what if they could only speak like Yoda?

Or Rosie Perez...

[d newton]

Donna Troy & Ryan Choi get married thus making Ryan Diana & Donna's brother in law. :D

[PatrickG]

I got it. A three's company pitch featuring Mr. Mxyplitz, Mr. Nebula, and a villain named simply Didio. Each have the power to alter reality at the snap of their fingers.

Hilarity insues as each character goes across the multiverse in search of the Universe where Las Vegas is everything. And when that fails they try to make it.

There...how bad can you get?

JP

PS...OOH, and what if they could only speak like Yoda?

So who of the three does Don Knotts think is gay?

[Paradox]

The inclusion of Knotts would make it borderline acceptable, so I'm afraid you have to go with Fell. :p

And strangely, he thinks it's Mxy, because Nebula would be too obvious.

[Tobias March]

All-Star Howling Mad Wolf....he puts a spell on you... :p

[PatrickG]

Ooh!

Tim Conway joins an underground streetfighting league to avenge his family, guided by the bloodcrazed spirit of Don Adams. And then he receives a mysterious call from Abe Vidoda and learns that anyone who receives a call from Abe Vigoda dies seven years later. But he must seduce Marsha Brady in order to infiltrate the illegal street racing network that bankrolls the underground street fighting league... ultimately leading to a snowboarding competition with Gallagher and Weird Al, who he kills with chainsaws and cyborg dogs. But even then, he must sacrifice his life to stop the demonic forces of Bob Newhart but not without the help of Jerry Seinfeld who has contracted leprosy from a one night stand with Jack Webb and Angela Lansberry.

And for a less celebrity driven comic:

Bruce Wayne discovers that Thomas and Martha Wayne adopted him and that his biological parents are Booster Gold and Ma Hunkel. Still reeling from the news, he struggles to save the Justice League from Jim Gordon who has been trainwashed by Anti-Matter Universe Zatanna into becoming a serial rapist. Meanwhile, Barbara Gordon steals spinal tissue from children in order to walk again and Alfred impregnates Misfit. Also, we learn that the Batcave is really in outer space and always has been. Only because of the trickery of Wonder Woman and her lover Vibe did Batman ever think it was beneath Wayne Manor. Fortunately, Superman is taking Miraclo and Venom in order to eradicate all Robins with a single, well placed punch designed to vibrate all past and present Robins out of synch with earth's gravity in an effort to give Batman a new motivation to fight crime.

Guest starring Mary Marvel and Billy Batson's deformed love child and newly appointed Pope, the Riddler.

[PatrickG]

Ooh! An easy one:

The new Justice League is Extraño, Manitou Raven, Pokolistan Zod, Tyroc, Egg Fu, Lagoon Boy, Prez, Dumb Bunny and Kyle Rayner's old landlord Radu.

Their first task is to go undercover posing as new recruits to Granny Goodness' Female Furies to subvert Darkseid's regime into launching an assault on Arkham Asylum.

But which member of the team doesn't convince Green Arrow to cheat on his wife with them while in their alien drag disguise? And how long until Batman unleashes his master plan to kill the team?

[Alan Lynch]

Watchmen, retold by Chuck Austen and Rob Liefield.

[Cayman]

Watchmen, retold by Chuck Austen and Rob Liefield.

Imagining Liefeld drawing Dr. Manhattan's junk = never sleeping again. :eek:

[Solaris]

Picture, if you will, Leo Getz (aka Joe Pesci from the Lethal Weapon movies, WITH the bleached blond hair)... Leo's got this idea and is delivering the pitch to DC...

Okay okay okay! So, see, there's this team of superheroes, okay? And they like, have this special superpower... THEY'RE INVISIBLE! Okay? So, like, their whole WORLD is invisible, okay? And, the bad guys, they're invisible too! Okay? So these really cool superheroes, they run around smashing and attacking and obliterating the bad guys---AND EVERYTHING'S INVISIBLE! So, ya see, ya get to make a Superhero Comic, and it only costs ya HALF the pricetag---because, with everything being invisible, you can fire the artists! All you gotta have are some word balloons on da page. So, all you're payin' for are da writers and da letterists, okay?

So... BRILLIANT, eh? Okay?

OOO! OOO! OOO! Wait! I gottanutha idea! So, you make all of 'em, and everything around 'em Invisible, right? THEN, ya give 'em TELEPATHY POWERS! So, now they're INVISIBLE, and TELEPATHIC---and ya don't even need the writers or the letterists! Just clean white pages, and let the READERS do all the work FOR ya!

BRILLIANT, right? So whaddaya say? Okay? We On?

[KevinTBrown]

Apparently, we're all full of bad ideas !

Definitely full of "something" all right.......

[Matt Doc Martin]

Rick Olney and JBolt present:

[Cam63]

The Flying Nun as a Tarantino style assassin.

[Cam63]

Rick Olney and JBolt present:

...a very, very special Dave Sim event.

[KevinTBrown]

The newest DC/Marvel cross-over:

Batman & Robin meet Captain America & Bucky in a time travel extravaganza as they all travel to the swingin' 60's!!! Written and drawn by Howard "Black Kiss" Chaykin! Love, sex and kinkiness abounds! And wait until you see the surprising super secret Bucky is keeping from Cap!

[Cam63]

Birds of Prey cancelled and replaced by " Adrian Paul's Balls of Joostice. "

[Pink Bat Max]

G'nort, the new bearer of Parallax, goes on a multiverse killing spree with his new buddy, Super Emo Boy Prime. An unexpected love is found between kindred souls...

I think I said something about household pets..... ;)

Oh, wait, that was a different thread. Carry on.

[Pink Bat Max]

Donna Troy & Ryan Choi get married thus making Ryan Diana & Donna's brother in law. :D

Well, she has a thing for dorks.... given Terry (not said with love) and Kyle (said with just a little bit of love), Ryan (said with love) might just be up her alley.

[Pink Bat Max]

So who of the three does Don Knotts think is gay?

Puh-leez, have you SEEN Mxyzptlk?

[Samurai]

An entire issue of Daredevil "Looking through DD's eyes" (without benefit of his radar sense)...

[Pink Bat Max]

An entire issue of Daredevil "Looking through DD's eyes" (without benefit of his radar sense)...

I'll do the art on that. I have some black construction paper about here SOMEWHERE....

[Flamebird]

Frank Miller Presents: All-Star Wonder Woman and Her Magic Lasso
Featuring Power Man, The Pimp!


Pure GOld I tells ya! :eek:


(Warning: Only one issue per decade)

[Tommy]

The Life of a Troll

Each issue would follow around a board troll who sits at his computer flaming people.

[PatrickG]

Puh-leez, have you SEEN Mxyzptlk?

I just realized, with three dudes, the Three's Company gag has to be reversed.

So between Didio, Nebula and Mxy, which one does the landlord think is straight? )

[PatrickG]

The Life of a Troll

Each issue would follow around a board troll who sits at his computer flaming people.

This could work.

A good troll succeeds in inflaming people. And by printing the story rather than having it on a message board, the audience becomes a captive audience who can't reply.

And if you actually follow his life, you end up creating a portrait of a person who would say things like "Paris Hilton: I'd still hit it!" and "Mexican illegals control all of society's power structures" and "The Iraq War is great because it weeded out all the stupid males from breeding any more". And you follow him to the point where he posts things like "Delano Roosevelt Franklin's penis has aids! We all like to suck it and kill babies! Lick butt! I killed John Madden!"

Imagine Richard Kelly does Citizen Kane.

[Flying Saucers Over Oz]

Ultimate Power Pack!

The grown-up Lightspeed from LONERS is joined by her now-adult siblings.

Alex has become a mutant cyborg, struggling to reconnect with his humanity.

Jack has bulked up to alarming levels, wears ripped tank-tops, and needs a shave.

Katie is a Ninja assassin with a ponytail longer than she is...


Or, let's go with the obvious: New Wonder Woman writer Dave Sim!

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

Garth Ennis presents: The Death Of Superman Prime.

...

Oh right, it says "WORST comics idea."

[Linkara]

The Fridge: Every page is a superheroine getting dismembered and/or raped.

[Tyr]

'Cause I'm bored, and have no prizes to give, of course I'm making a new contest....! This one: Come up with the WORST pitch for a new comic EVER.

I'll judge it and denote the winner/winners next.... oh, let's say Tuesday.

Go!

It's already been done Maxie, its call the 90's ;)

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

From the acclaim of the DCU Infinite Halloween Special, comes Dan Didio & Ian Churchill's Calvin & Hobbes!

[a. non]

Die! Die! Die and burn in hell!

Sorry. There was a fly.

From the acclaim of the DCU Infinite Halloween Special, comes Dan Didio & Ian Churchill's Calvin & Hobbes!

Die! Die! Die and burn in hell!


Ok, how about this: David Mamet and Bob Ross Presents Happy Little Trees: The True Story of the Ents.

[KevinTBrown]

It's being discussed here:

http://forums.comicbookresources.com/showthread.php?t=203432

[Cam63]

The Life of a Troll

Each issue would follow around a board troll who sits at his computer flaming people.

Particularly female creators and their work because, you know... they're wimmin.

[Night Swordsman]

Infinite Countdown: Starting from infinity and counting downward.
Weekly.
Forever. :)

Until Dan kills off all the super-heroes,leaving Kamandi for last.


(Note: No super-heroes were killed in the making of this announcement.)

[d newton]

Well, she has a thing for dorks.... given Terry (not said with love) and Kyle (said with just a little bit of love), Ryan (said with love) might just be up her alley.
Any thoughts on what Donna & Ryan's children will look like? ;)

[Pink Bat Max]

Any thoughts on what Donna & Ryan's children will look like? ;)

Eh. Whatever they look like, I wouldn't get attached. She doesn't have the best track record with.... you know.... her family not dying and all.

[PatrickG]

Infinite Countdown: Starting from infinity and counting downward.
Weekly.
Forever. :)

Until Dan kills off all the super-heroes,leaving Kamandi for last.


(Note: No super-heroes were killed in the making of this announcement.)

I think the editors would die first.

At two deaths a week, DC would still have characters for the next ten or fifteen years and the strain on the editors would have them dropping like flies.

[Pink Bat Max]

It's Tuesday, officially, and I must declare a winner. And our winner is..... BOBO... for this:

A goldfish explores his aquarium, then forgets what he saw and explores it again, then forgets and explores it again so on and so forth... I believe a giant sized issue is needed to contain the awesomnes that is "The Adventures of Goldfish" (copyright pending)

Words fail me.
It's one of those ideas that are bad in a way that you have to be absolutely BRILLIANT to come up with, let alone execute. Funny thing is..... I'd totally read it.

Annnnd, 'cause I'm feeling generous, I'll give out a First Runner Up spot to.....

Karen El, for:

"The Story of Feet" drawn by Rob Liefeld.

Speaks for itsself, doesn't it?

Congratulations winners. Hope y'all weren't expecting, like.... prizes.

[Laughing Mask]

Dustin diamond, the comic!

in his ongoing quest to find work, the former screech from saved by the bell tries anything. ANYTHING!

[Bo Bo]

It's Tuesday, officially, and I must declare a winner. And our winner is..... BOBO... for this:



Words fail me.
It's one of those ideas that are bad in a way that you have to be absolutely BRILLIANT to come up with, let alone execute. Funny thing is..... I'd totally read it.

Annnnd, 'cause I'm feeling generous, I'll give out a First Runner Up spot to.....

Karen El, for:



Speaks for itsself, doesn't it?

Congratulations winners. Hope y'all weren't expecting, like.... prizes.

Like oh my god I wasn't expecting this!!! Just let me find my speech... I first want to thank my parents wothout whom I, you know, wouldn't be here. I'd like to congratulate Karen El for her entry, really this award should be for you. I'd also like to thank the little people... *gets drowned out by music and goes to commercial*