RITA's XLVIII: Some Fun Now

[Tadhg]

Oh, I can't take tomorrow off either. Get this: I have to finish writing a brief for one of the partners (and when I say "finish writing," I mean "start from scratch" because I think this partner wrote this in fingerpaints) because our firm Holiday party is tomorrow.

The irony is going to kill me, if I don't do myself in with the staple-remover first.

I'm surprised your office hasn't gone to Staple-free staplers in an effort to prevent staple-related fatalities.

[jessecuster3]

Some good news:

Got some more Christmas presents for Sarah. "NiGHTS" for the Wii(the original on Saturn was her favorite game ever), DDR on the 360(she really wanted Wii Fit, but it isn't out yet), and the new DJ Tiesto cd(her favorite artist).

For me, Sarah got Call of Duty 4(360) and Unreal Tournament 3(PS3).

Nice, I am pretty sure my girl got me a Best Buy gift card (for use for a 360) and I got her the Four Seasons Greatest Hits and then tickets to Jersey Boys for Valentine's Day (natch).

[Ray R.]

Oh, I can't take tomorrow off either. Get this: I have to finish writing a brief for one of the partners (and when I say "finish writing," I mean "start from scratch" because I think this partner wrote this in fingerpaints) because our firm Holiday party is tomorrow.

The irony is going to kill me, if I don't do myself in with the staple-remover first.

Oh, that is just wrong.

I'll see you here tomorrow, same Bat station, same Bat channel. Put me on ignore, perhaps?

[Ed Cunard]

Oh, hey. Ed and fake boobs reminded me.

Has this already been posted (http://www.lanejensen.com/)?

(Work safe but not for the squeamish.)

Hah. That's funny.

[Matt Algren]

YOU'LL GET NOTHING AND LIKE IT!!!
I want to talk to your Manager, young man. And when I say "Manager", I mean the person 15 years your junior who lives with his parents.

Chop chop.

[Slam_Bradley]

I'll work the fryer if you handle drive-through. And I'm not kidding about it, either.

I had planned to take off tomorrow for weeks now, in order to have a four-day weekend. Today, I'm told I have to come in tomorrow, because a stupid fifth-year associate in one of the outer gulag offices won't do their final read-through of a pro bon Supreme Court brief until tomorrow, and I'm handling logistics in D.C. Plus, at 4:00 p.m. today, I get wind that our representation of a scummy Republican Congressman might require a motion and memo tomorrow as well.

Oh, I can't take tomorrow off either. Get this: I have to finish writing a brief for one of the partners (and when I say "finish writing," I mean "start from scratch" because I think this partner wrote this in fingerpaints) because our firm Holiday party is tomorrow.

The irony is going to kill me, if I don't do myself in with the staple-remover first.


I'll be working tomorrow and Monday. I have discovery that has to go out tomorrow. I have an estate that I have to get filed.

Of course if I hadn't fucked around they'd both be done.

[Ed Cunard]

Fuck. I am filled with rage right now and I have to go to my daughter's recital in about an hour. Totally not in the mood.


...

Computer troubles?

[K'Nort]

Some good news:

Got some more Christmas presents for Sarah. "NiGHTS" for the Wii(the original on Saturn was her favorite game ever), DDR on the 360(she really wanted Wii Fit, but it isn't out yet), and the new DJ Tiesto cd(her favorite artist).

For me, Sarah got Call of Duty 4(360) and Unreal Tournament 3(PS3).

Do you save some things as a surprise for Christmas Day too, or just exchange things as you buy them?

[Jared_Humpherys]

I want to talk to your Manager, young man. And when I say "Manager", I mean the person 15 years your junior who lives with his parents.

Chop chop.

http://newsbusters.org/media/SqueakyTeen.jpg
"Sir, the sound of your voice repulses me."

[Jared_Humpherys]

Do you save some things as a surprise for Christmas Day too, or just exchange things as you buy them?

This year? Screw surprise. Surprises are for Valentine's day and our anniversary.

Edit: Also, our pug makes gift wrapping and present-hiding a bad idea.

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

I'm surprised your office hasn't gone to Staple-free staplers in an effort to prevent staple-related fatalities.

I just heard from my secretary that NONE of the staff got a raise at all.

The peasants are revolting!

Oh, that is just wrong.

I'll see you here tomorrow, same Bat station, same Bat channel. Put me on ignore, perhaps?

There's that hum again.

I want to talk to your Manager, young man. And when I say "Manager", I mean the person 15 years your junior who lives with his parents.

Chop chop.

grumble, grumble

You want ketchup?

[Slam_Bradley]

I want to talk to your Manager, young man. And when I say "Manager", I mean the person 15 years your junior who lives with his parents.

Chop chop.


And that just reminded me that I had a waitress blow-up at me at my favorite steak house last weekend.


And...I just rolled over my Trini Lopez cd with my desk chair wheel.

[Tadhg]

The lawyers make me feel better about myself. Having to pay out of pocket for Express Mail packages because my boss got it ready late seems so minor now.

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

I'll be working tomorrow and Monday. I have discovery that has to go out tomorrow. I have an estate that I have to get filed.

Of course if I hadn't fucked around they'd both be done.

Well, sure. I just got a Motion to Compel on some discovery responses that are sitting right here, half-done. Same as they were when I left them there last week.

...

Computer troubles?

YOU'RE NEXT, CUNARD!!!

[mattx110]

And...I just rolled over my Trini Lopez cd with my desk chair wheel.
I am so so so sorry.... :( This saddens me a lot.

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

And that just reminded me that I had a waitress blow-up at me at my favorite steak house last weekend.

I totally read that wrong the first time.

[Matt Algren]

I just heard from my secretary that NONE of the staff got a raise at all. Stop calling him/her secretary.

The peasants are revolting!I'm starting to think we work together.

grumble, grumble

You want ketchup?You know how I like it, boy. Yes, that's right, stroke it nice and gentle. I own you. Call me master. That's right...





...

Out till tomorrow. CYA! :)

[Slam_Bradley]

I am so so so sorry.... :( This saddens me a lot.


It's not easy to find Trini cds. I love Live at PJs.

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

Stop calling him/her secretary.

If I call her "typing slave," she objects.

You know how I like it, boy. Yes, that's right, stroke it nice and gentle. I own you. Call me master. That's right...

You're about to get a Happy Meal up your oompa.

[Tadhg]

If I call her "typing slave," she objects.


Gal Friday?

[Jared_Humpherys]

Oh, leg muscle pain, why won't you go away? I gave you ibuprophen AND tylenol!

[jessecuster3]

It's not easy to find Trini cds. I love Live at PJs.

You weren't kidding, I can put a request in with certain channels, if you want.

[Slam_Bradley]

You weren't kidding, I can put a request in with certain channels, if you want.

Appreciate it. I'm sure I'll get it taken care of. I grew up listening to that album. One of my Mom's favorites.

[Tadhg]

Oh, leg muscle pain, why won't you go away? I gave you ibuprophen AND tylenol!

It craves narcotics, like my hip.

25 hours until 11 days of drinking.

[jessecuster3]

You're about to get a Happy Meal up your oompa.

Matt's milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

[K'Nort]

Oh ,and Ray : The feds just downgraded librarianship from 'better than average job prospects' to 'less than average.'

Seemed worth mentioning while you're in job-hate mode.

[Slam_Bradley]

Oh ,and Ray : The feds just downgraded librarianship from 'better than average job prospects' to 'less than average.'

Seemed worth mentioning while you're in job-hate mode.

He hates his job not librarians.

Librarians remain an object of lust and awe.

[Ray R.]

Oh ,and Ray : The feds just downgraded librarianship from 'better than average job prospects' to 'less than average.'

Seemed worth mentioning while you're in job-hate mode.

Ugh. Does that equate into 1.) people aren't retiring, 2.) budgets are getting cut, or good god, 3.) people aren't reading?

Calgon, take me away.

[K'Nort]

I hate 740s and their lack of subfield w's. What's the point without them?

[Jared_Humpherys]

It craves narcotics, like my hip.

25 hours until 11 days of drinking.

I can go that route if I have to. I have a "when needed" script for my bad foot. I just try to stay off of them if I can. I got too dependant on them in the past.

[Ray R.]

He hates his job not librarians.

Librarians remain an object of lust and awe.

That is true. Put on a pair of hornrims and I'll follow you around like a lost puppy.

Dewey Decimal System? Yes, we do.

[K'Nort]

Ugh. Does that equate into 1.) people aren't retiring, 2.) budgets are getting cut, or good god, 3.) people aren't reading?

Calgon, take me away.

Employment change. Employment of librarians is expected to grow by 4 percent between 2006 and 2016, slower than the average for all occupations. Growth in the number of librarians will be limited by government budget constraints and the increasing use of electronic resources. Both will result in the hiring of fewer librarians and the replacement of librarians with less costly library technicians and assistants. As electronic resources become more common and patrons and support staff become more familiar with their use, fewer librarians are needed to maintain and assist users with these resources. In addition, many libraries are equipped for users to access library resources directly from their homes or offices through library Web sites. Some users bypass librarians altogether and conduct research on their own.


Also, people don't retire. But they're still ignoring that part.

[Slam_Bradley]

I hate 740s and their lack of subfield w's. What's the point without them?


That gives me the shivers.

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

Ugh. Does that equate into 1.) people aren't retiring, 2.) budgets are getting cut, or good god, 3.) people aren't reading?

Calgon, take me away.

I'd guess a combination of 2 & 3. Our local library is getting its budget slashed because these dumb asses who run the County pretty much counted on housing to keep appreciating at 22% per year.

[Tadhg]

That is true. Put on a pair of hornrims and I'll follow you around like a lost puppy.

I have them in black and teal.

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

I can go that route if I have to. I have a "when needed" script for my bad foot. I just try to stay off of them if I can. I got too dependant on them in the past.


If I had a "when needed" script, I'd be downing oxycodone like potato chips right now.

[HomerJay]

I'm ready to chuck the whole thing and work at Burger King.
I'll work the fryer if you handle drive-through.
Ding, fries are done
Ding, fries are done
Would you like an apple pie wit daaaaaat?

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

Dewey Decimal System? Yes, we do.


He'll be here all week, folks. Try the veal.

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

Ding, fries are done
Ding, fries are done
Would you like an apple pie wit daaaaaat?

NO, FUCK YOU!!! IF I HAD WANTED AN APPLE PIE, I WOULD HAVE ORDERED ONE, MORON!!!

Maybe I should go have a lie-down...

[jessecuster3]

Ding, fries are done
Ding, fries are done
Would you like an apple pie wit daaaaaat?

Oh shit, I haven't listened to that in a couple years.

[Ray R.]

Employment change. Employment of librarians is expected to grow by 4 percent between 2006 and 2016, slower than the average for all occupations. Growth in the number of librarians will be limited by government budget constraints and the increasing use of electronic resources. Both will result in the hiring of fewer librarians and the replacement of librarians with less costly library technicians and assistants. As electronic resources become more common and patrons and support staff become more familiar with their use, fewer librarians are needed to maintain and assist users with these resources. In addition, many libraries are equipped for users to access library resources directly from their homes or offices through library Web sites. Some users bypass librarians altogether and conduct research on their own.


Also, people don't retire. But they're still ignoring that part.

Your local library. You don't like human interaction of any kind whatsoever? We're working harder to give you less! Your local library.

P.S. Our restrooms are open!

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

P.S. Our restrooms are open!

And thank God for that. Otherwise, the homeless guys would be pissing in the fountain in the park across the street.

[Tadhg]

If I had a "when needed" script, I'd be downing oxycodone like potato chips right now.

I miss my tramadol

[Ray R.]

And thank God for that. Otherwise, the homeless guys would be pissing in the fountain in the park across the street.

And the cure for the homeless using the library as a bed and breakfast? Less staffing.

Maybe it would be extra-crispy ironical if an increase in layoffs and hiring freezes equaled an increase of former librarians who became homeless. Who then hung out at the library. Juicy, juicy irony.

[Jared_Humpherys]

I miss my tramadol

Pffft. My doctor had me on oxycontin at one point.

That stuff was...wow.

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

I miss my tramadol

Reminds me of a pro bono case I did several years ago. Guy was in the state supermax prison. Docs wrote him a script for oxycodone and oxycontin "as needed" for pain, as he was suffering from inoperable cancer.

The guards, however, would only give it to him on an "every three hour" basis, basically just to fuck with the guy.

It just warms my heart to think that there are people out there who take joy in screwing with a cancer victim's meds. Oh, and they put the dude in supermax not because he committed murder or somesuch. He was in for a drug violation. They put him in supermax because he was a "pain in the ass" about getting his pain meds.

Merry Christmas.

[Ray R.]

Pffft. My doctor had me on oxycontin at one point.

That stuff was...wow.

And Jared has a far away Keith Richards look....

[K'Nort]

Your local library. You don't like human interaction of any kind whatsoever? We're working harder to give you less! Your local library.

P.S. Our restrooms are open!

Not sure what it says, but that really is what people want these days. We have someone sitting at the reference desk all day, and 90% of the questions they receive are by email/phone/mail. And for both very quick and very time-consuming answers, it does make sense that they shouldn't have to come in.

People also love self checkout, although I refuse to use it.

For browsing for reading material, you can be much better off going through the catalog from home. The % of titles that any library actually has on the shelves vs the % that they can order for you from someone else is quite significant. Systems rely heavily on resource sharing these days. Everyone buys something different and then they share. Wider selection that way.


Changing gears, one thing making a huge difference for law library employment these days is the changing pricing models for the databases. When you're actually paying by the minute for your searches, you want a trained professional doing it. As databases switch to a flat-rate monthly pricing model, the attorneys and paralegals can be allowed to do their own research.

[Tadhg]

Pffft. I my doctor had me on oxycontin at one point.

That stuff was...wow.

Yeah, I have percocet which is oxycontin with Tylenol but the tramadol affects my perception and emotions in a nice way.

[jessecuster3]

Yeah, I have percocet which is oxycontin with Tylenol but the tramadol affects my perception and emotions in a nice way.

I am just fine with Ecstasy.

[Tadhg]

I am just fine with Ecstasy.

Doesn't really do much to stop the screaming in my shoulder.

[K'Nort]

And the cure for the homeless using the library as a bed and breakfast? Less staffing.

Maybe it would be extra-crispy ironical if an increase in layoffs and hiring freezes equaled an increase of former librarians who became homeless. Who then hung out at the library. Juicy, juicy irony.

Wouldn't the irony be if it were the county number crunchers and budget setters who ended up homeless?


Librarians were ineligible for Social Security when it was first implemented. I don't remember the details. But they were about the only civil service job to be left out.

[jessecuster3]

Doesn't really do much to stop the screaming in my shoulder.

Ahh, then maybe mix some Percoset with the MDMA!

[Puma]

Not sure what it says, but that really is what people want these days. We have someone sitting at the reference desk all day, and 90% of the questions they receive are by email/phone/mail. And for both very quick and very time-consuming answers, it does make sense that they shouldn't have to come in.
Agreed but with one caveat, at small neighborhood libraries they want a 'real' person. Mainly for the social interaction and/or the need to speedily find what their child needs for a report.
People also love self checkout, although I refuse to use it.
Our system will be getting new self checks for the larger branches. If they are better and easier to use than the one we currently have more people may use them.
For browsing for reading material, you can be much better off going through the catalog from home. The % of titles that any library actually has on the shelves vs the % that they can order for you from someone else is quite significant. Systems rely heavily on resource sharing these days. Everyone buys something different and then they share. Wider selection that way.
.Definitely. We have people who only come in to pick up their requests; probably half our patrons. The folks who come in and browse tend to be older folks, people who are looking for social interaction, transients, and parents with small children.

[Jared_Humpherys]

Absolutely true story(my friend Greg tells this to people at parties, apparently):

While I was on oxycontin, I worked at Sprint. I had to stand a good portion of the day, and my foot would be in real bad shape at the end of my shift. Since the stuff made me loopy, I wouldn't take it until just before I left for the day. My doctor had been nervous about putting me on this medication because it was so strong, and warned me never, ever to take a half pill. Well, one day at the end of work, I found the pill I had brought with me was crushed. Not halved, but in many pieces. Now, I didn't know exactly WHY I wasn't supposed to take a half pill, so I figured that it wouldn't be a problem, as I was consuming the whole thing. So I swallow all the pieces, and drive to my friend Greg's house just fine. However, as I start to walk up his driveway, I begin to feel lightheaded. When Greg opened the door, I fell unconscious in the doorway.

It is then I learned that the pill was designed for a time-release, and taking a halved pill would cause that full pill's contents to affect you immediately. Taking a crushed whole pill was double stupid.

[Ray R.]

Not sure what it says, but that really is what people want these days. We have someone sitting at the reference desk all day, and 90% of the questions they receive are by email/phone/mail. And for both very quick and very time-consuming answers, it does make sense that they shouldn't have to come in.

Personally, I'm not sure how many people actually utilize this service as much as they might be able to. Seems like Google killed the library star.



People also love self checkout, although I refuse to use it.

I do use this, if only because I hate to wait in line. I only trust the library though -- I won't do it at supermarkets or big box stores.

For browsing for reading material, you can be much better off going through the catalog from home. The % of titles that any library actually has on the shelves vs the % that they can order for you from someone else is quite significant. Systems rely heavily on resource sharing these days. Everyone buys something different and then they share. Wider selection that way.

We have the ACORN system here in Arlington, VA. And it's good for finding and putting holds on books. I'm a dedicated browser myself, though. I'm the kind of person who would rather find something interesting by sheer chance than pre-order it. Of course, I read for fun, not really for other reasons like job searches, reference, etc.


Changing gears, one thing making a huge difference for law library employment these days is the changing pricing models for the databases. When you're actually paying by the minute for your searches, you want a trained professional doing it. As databases switch to a flat-rate monthly pricing model, the attorneys and paralegals can be allowed to do their own research.

A couple of caveats there. Westlaw and Lexis have had flat-rate pricing for awhile, primarily based on a certain threshhold usage every month. You don't hit the threshhold base billing amount, you go back to minute-by-minute fees. And some of the databases within the overall database have pretty high search fees, which make what we call "test-driving" or "leisure driving" cost-prohibitive. I usually do my own research utilizing headnotes/keynotes or really restrictive boolean terms, even under flat-rate, because sorting through huge hit results equals large client-billable hourly fee amounts on the backend. I still think there's added-value for the trained professional in databases, although definitely diminished compared to years ago.

[Ray R.]

Wouldn't the irony be if it were the county number crunchers and budget setters who ended up homeless?

I'd file that under "Poetic Justice."

Librarians were ineligible for Social Security when it was first implemented. I don't remember the details. But they were about the only civil service job to be left out.

I didn't know that. For some reason, it doesn't surprise me. I think librarians were (still?) historically looked at typically as overwhelmingly female, over-educated, and as participating in a labor of love, not money. I can see legislators acting accordingly.

[K'Nort]

Personally, I'm not sure how many people actually utilize this service as much as they might be able to. Seems like Google killed the library star.

I've been amazed. I figured no one would use a service like that, but they do. We added an 'ask a librarian' link to our website recently and instantly started getting reference questions. Hadn't gotten around to doing any press releases or anything.

Google can be very annoying in terms of too many irrelevant hits to wade through. And older patrons are very aware of the 'anyone can post anything' nature of online info. They like the filtering provide.

[Michael P]

Perfect Day for a Man:
6:00 Alarm.
6:15 Blowjob.
6:30 Massive dump while reading the sports section.
7:00 Breakfast.
Filet Mignon, eggs, toast and coffee.
7:30 Limo arrives.
7:45 Bloody Mary en route to airport.
7:50 Blowjob.
8:15 Private jet to Augusta, Georgia.
8:30 Blowjob.
9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club.
9:45 Play front nine at Augusta, finish 2 under par.
11:45 Lunch.
A dozen buffalo wings.
3 Heinekens.
12:15 Blowjob.
12:30 Play back nine at Augusta, finish 4 under par.
2:15 Limo back to airport.
Drink 2 Bombay martinis and a Blowjob.
2:30 Private jet to Nassau, Bahamas.
Nap.
3:15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with topless female crew.
3:45 Blowjob from each member of the crew.
4:30 Catch world record light tackle marlin 1249 lbs.
5:00 Jet back home.
En route, get massage & blowjob from naked supermodel.
7:00 Dinner.
Lobster appetizers, 1963 Dom Perignon, 20 Oz.
New York strip steak.
9:00 Relax after dinner with 1789 Augler Cognac and Cohiba Cuban cigar.
9:15 Blowjob.
10:00 Have sex with two 18 year old nymphomaniacs.
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi.
11:30 Blowjob.
11:45 Go to bed.
11:50 Let loose a 12 second, 4 octave fart.
Watch the dog leave the room.
11:55 Laugh yourself to sleep.

I dunno, seems kinda light on the blowjobs.

[Michael P]

There is a temp job prospect. It requires commuting for 1.5 hours each way, but if they pay enough, I'll take it.

Christ. Where are they sending you, the Hamptons?

[Ray R.]

I've been amazed. I figured no one would use a service like that, but they do. We added an 'ask a librarian' link to our website recently and instantly started getting reference questions. Hadn't gotten around to doing any press releases or anything.

Google can be very annoying in terms of too many irrelevant hits to wade through. And older patrons are very aware of the 'anyone can post anything' nature of online info. They like the filtering provide.

That makes sense. Do you think as older patrons start to hit the "permanently withdrawn" (sorry) phase, that since search engines have only been around for ten years or so, when enough people and generations have used the Internet as a research tool that the reference desk will diminish in usage?

Or is it counter-intuitive to think that people will want to take a shortcut through what can only be bigger and bigger piles of results by going to the library? Maybe there's a smarter, more directed version of Google out there?

[i_mmmchocolate]

Makin' banana bread tonight, once I get out of work.

[Jared_Humpherys]

Makin' banana bread tonight, once I get out of work.

You know Lena, you really need to stop feeding us straight lines like this. It's just not fair.

[K'Nort]

That makes sense. Do you think as older patrons start to hit the "permanently withdrawn" (sorry) phase, that since search engines have only been around for ten years or so, when enough people and generations have used the Internet as a research tool that the reference desk will diminish in usage?

When people were surrounded by books and could sort through them on their own, there was nevertheless demand for research assistance. I wouldn't expect changing to an electronic format to eliminate that.


Or is it counter-intuitive to think that people will want to take a shortcut through what can only be bigger and bigger piles of results by going to the library? Maybe there's a smarter, more directed version of Google out there?

There are many of them. Your average public (or university) library website will have a section of pre-screened recommended websites, sorted by topic.

There are also sites like this. (http://www.lii.org/)

Finally, we offer access to some great subscription databases that are basically online encyclopedias for children. Each one is for a different age range. Everything is written to the appropriate level and guaranteed to be acceptable to the teacher.

[Nick Soapdish]

Even though I missed out on The Dark Knight discussion earlier, I'm going to comment.

Me neither, but everything about it is right.
When THE DARK KNIGHT is finally out, i might have to make it the first midnight showing I've gone to in a long time. I don't remember the last time I've been this excited about a movie.

Me, too. I've watched the trailer a dozen times already.

My issue with Katie Holmes was the same as with the girl who played Lois in Superman Returns. They just looked too dang young for the roles.

And worse, she's the DA's assistant during the flashback or back at around 23 (assuming she's the same age as Bruce). I sorta thought it was supposed to take a bit longer to get there.

Which is why I'm happy that Maggie Gyllenhaal is taking the role over. She's attractive, but she could totally pass for a brainy, overachieving law-school chick any day. More than Holmes at least.

Another "me, too". I like that she's styled so that she looks sorta like Katie Holmes' character without making her a clone. Sure, it's different, but not jarringly so.

[Slam_Bradley]

People also love self checkout, although I refuse to use it.



I've never seen self checkout in a library.

[StoneGold]

Even though I missed out on The Dark Knight discussion earlier, I'm going to comment.


Jumping back as well, I'm still more psyched about Iron Man. That trailer was ungodly good. And it has Jeff Bridges as an evil Flynn from Tron.

[K'Nort]

I've never seen self checkout in a library.

Most places are like the grocery store - it's an alternative.

I've visited a few libraries, however, that are exclusively do-it-yourself. That annoys me. Thinking particularly of seniors, etc.

[i_mmmchocolate]

I know someone who works at an IBM library with self-check-out. He says books & journals are regularly stolen by researchers & scientists.

[Athena Bast]

Best non-Tot story ever:

Boyfriend was talking to his stepmother last night via the phone (his dad is in the hospital). Anyway, his half-sister who's only 2 hands her mother the "Time Out Clock" then proceeds to punch her older brother in the face and then goes and puts herself in the corner for a time out.

[K'Nort]

I know someone who works at an IBM library with self-check-out. He says books & journals are regularly stolen by researchers & scientists.

That's not really a self check-out issue, though.

That's because they don't have security strips.

For a public/university library system, the machine won't let you deactivate the security strip until you've checked the book out.

You can have someone sitting at a circulation desk and people will still stuff things in their backpacks, etc.

[i_mmmchocolate]

That's not really a self check-out issue, though.

That's because they don't have security strips.
Yeah. It certainly doesn't help.

[Jeff Brady]

Christ. Where are they sending you, the Hamptons?

Cronin's 'hood.

[i_mmmchocolate]

You know Lena, you really need to stop feeding us straight lines like this. It's just not fair.
Eh?
_______

[Jared_Humpherys]

Eh?
_______
Bah, it doesn't matter.

[i_mmmchocolate]

Cronin's 'hood.
That commute would be better than going to LI.

[jessecuster3]

That Brian K Vaughn Escapists is the good one, right?

[Typo Lad]

Some good news:

Got some more Christmas presents for Sarah. "NiGHTS" for the Wii(the original on Saturn was her favorite game ever), DDR on the 360(she really wanted Wii Fit, but it isn't out yet), and the new DJ Tiesto cd(her favorite artist).

For me, Sarah got Call of Duty 4(360) and Unreal Tournament 3(PS3).

They have NiGHTS for Wii? Wow. Loved that game!

[Guapo Méndez]

...stupid thesis...

[Jared_Humpherys]

They have NiGHTS for Wii? Wow. Loved that game!

Yep, it's a sequel headed up by the designer for the original. I'll let you know what Sarah(and eventually, myself) thinks of it.

[Chris Nowlin]

I guess today's going better than expected. Got dad and brother Christmas gifts. Just leaves my mom.

And while walking through the soft rain reflecting on the many ways I disappoint myself, I saw a rather beautiful rainbow in a full 180 degree arc.

[Typo Lad]

Best non-Tot story ever:

Boyfriend was talking to his stepmother last night via the phone (his dad is in the hospital). Anyway, his half-sister who's only 2 hands her mother the "Time Out Clock" then proceeds to punch her older brother in the face and then goes and puts herself in the corner for a time out.

Awesome understanding of cause and effect!

[Michael P]

Cronin's 'hood.

Ah. They better be offering some kind of reimbursement for that.

[Pól Rua]

Sadly, I bet most of the Rita's crew knows not of goog.

Or maybe we're the ones who are sad.

That's because all that "salty talk" is permitted, now. :mad:

I know 'goog', but I'm far more comfortable with 'hug', 'pudding' and 'portable wishwasher'.
Chat monster! Gaoh!

[Chris Nowlin]

Anybody here read any of Shanower's Oz books and have feedback?

[Slam_Bradley]

Anybody here read any of Shanower's Oz books and have feedback?

I have a couple of them. Been a number of years since I've read them though. I remember them being good. But it's been a long time.

[Puma]

Fifty-five minutes and counting...


not that I am paying attention mind you.

[Tadhg]

Anybody here read any of Shanower's Oz books and have feedback?

I disliked them very much, if that's any help.

[Chris Nowlin]

I have a couple of them. Been a number of years since I've read them though. I remember them being good. But it's been a long time.

Good enough for me.

Getting down to the wire with Christmas shopping.

[Chris Nowlin]

I disliked them very much, if that's any help.

Then I'm sold on them.

[Loren]

I was catching up on my Far Side calendar, and I came across this one I'd never seen before:

http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/1986/farsidekv0.jpg

Any help in deciphering the joke here?

[Pól Rua]

Anybody here read any of Shanower's Oz books and have feedback?

Very pretty and nicely done, but the stories tend to be a little briefer than you'd like. Each one seems to be building nicely when it ends. Bit disappointing.
Other than that, they're magnificent.

[jessecuster3]

I was catching up on my Far Side calendar, and I came across this one I'd never seen before:

http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/1986/farsidekv0.jpg

Any help in deciphering the joke here?

It must be because its a kangaroo and its hopping up and down, causing him to bounce as well?

[Chris Nowlin]

Sorry Loren. You get no help from me.



I'll assume it's now dry enough that jogging will be okay. Is it warm enough that I can wear shorts is the question?

Winter just complicates everything.

[Michael P]

I was catching up on my Far Side calendar, and I came across this one I'd never seen before:

http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/1986/farsidekv0.jpg

Any help in deciphering the joke here?

When he walks the kangaroo, he spends an inordinate amount of time leaning his head back and forth, due to the height of the kangaroo's hopping. This leads to muscle cramps.

[Chris Nowlin]

When he walks the kangaroo, he spends an inordinate amount of time leaning his head back and forth, due to the height of the kangaroo's hopping. This leads to muscle cramps.

I still don't get it.

[jessecuster3]

When he walks the kangaroo, he spends an inordinate amount of time leaning his head back and forth, due to the height of the kangaroo's hopping. This leads to muscle cramps.

At first I thought he had the kangaroo instead of a seeing eye dog.

[Michael P]

I still don't get it.

Funny animal big hop-hop hurt man neck.

[Jeff Brady]

Ah. They better be offering some kind of reimbursement for that.

That's pretty much what I told them.

[Michael P]

You ever want to reach through the computer and slap somebody?

[Tadhg]

Whisky and Pepper Jack-stuffed pretzels are a perfect combination.

[Valmore]

Whisky and Pepper Jack-stuffed pretzels are a perfect combination.

Your snack intrigues me and I'd like a copy of your newsletter.

[StoneGold]

Going to do some charity food drive stuff tonight, lift food for the needy. Which I may be, shortly.

[StoneGold]

Man, it's weird when someone gets pissed off at something that you wrote like three months ago.

[Ben Morgan]

Is Downtown Khazan the Rumbles version of Ritas?

[Michael P]

Is Downtown Khazan the Rumbles version of Ritas?

Pretty much.

[Ben Morgan]

Pretty much.
But they don't restart after 5,000 posts! Insanity!

[HomerJay]

Whisky and Pepper Jack-stuffed pretzels are a perfect combination.
That sounds simply delightful.
I put pepper jack on practically everything.
Going to do some charity food drive stuff tonight, lift food for the needy.
How many hours of community service do you have left?

[Michael P]

I mean, just bitch-smack that motherfucker so their neck twists around 270 degrees.

[StoneGold]

How many hours of community service do you have left?

Like they could catch me to convict me.


No, just hoping to spin the karmic wheel of justice in my favor a bit.

[StoneGold]

I mean, just bitch-smack that motherfucker so their neck twists around 270 degrees.

Now you want to because no one responded to your earlier threat of violence, don't you?

[Tadhg]

I mean, just bitch-smack that motherfucker so their neck twists around 270 degrees.

Would you settle for 197 degrees?

[i_mmmchocolate]

*The banana bread smells so damn good.

My co-worker brought some in today, but I only had a bit because it finished so quickly. Came home and made some of my own.

*Ditto to what Michael said. Only take the job if they reimburse your commuter expenses, Jeff.

*My boss, sick as a dog, came to work today, looking like absolute shit. She left early, but still. What's the point of going to work when you know you're contagious?

[K'Nort]

Whisky and Pepper Jack-stuffed pretzels are a perfect combination.

What kind of cheese stuffing are we talking about here? Gooey real stuff or something cheese flavoured?


*My boss, sick as a dog, came to work today, looking like absolute shit. She left early, but still. What's the point of going to work when you know you're contagious?

So people know you're truly sick and not taking a mental health day. In plenty of work environments, that's crucial.

[Tadhg]

What's the point of going to work when you know you're contagious?

Does she hate her coworkers? If I ever get ebola, I'm going to make sure I am at work until I die.

[Michael P]

So people know you're truly sick and not taking a mental health day. In plenty of work environments, that's crucial.

That, or you're paid by the hour.

[Tadhg]

What kind of cheese stuffing are we talking about here? Gooey real stuff or something cheese flavoured?


100% non-processed Pepper Jack cheese. Mmmmm.

[i_mmmchocolate]

She's also a workaholic. A few months ago, she had knee surgery and came to work a few days later. She had major dental work, painful as she put it, and came to work...pain and all!

On very rare occasions, she'll leave early when she's feeling ill. Today she did, which means she was really feeling shitty.

[K'Nort]

100% non-processed Pepper Jack cheese. Mmmmm.

Some kind of oven-baked soft pretzel, then?

[StarsAndGarters]

Not that I'm bored yet, but it's weird how I'm much more likely to post when I'm in California.

Hi folks.

[i_mmmchocolate]

That, or you're paid by the hour.
OK, I'm guilty of that.

I remember last winter I came in with the sniffles. My boss said, "You should've stayed home!"

At the time, I thought I just had a runny nose, so I just said, "I feel fine!"

Next day, we were all horribly sick.

[Jared_Humpherys]

You ever want to reach through the computer and slap somebody?

Lucky for me you can't. Nyah-nyah!

[K'Nort]

Not that I'm bored yet, but it's weird how I'm much more likely to post when I'm in California.

Hi folks.

Someone threw up in front of your door.

[Chris Nowlin]

Not that I'm bored yet, but it's weird how I'm much more likely to post when I'm in California.

Hi folks.

Howdy Gus.

How's it treating you out here?

It rained a bit this morning here but became a nice enough day.

[Tadhg]

Some kind of oven-baked soft pretzel, then?

yah. The Pretzel is just average but fresh cheese makes it yummy. Plus I have nifty Jameson holiday glasses that came with the bottle. Now if only the software would finish copying, I could call it a night. Stupid work.

[K'Nort]

yah. The Pretzel is just average but fresh cheese makes it yummy. Plus I have nifty Jameson holiday glasses that came with the bottle. Now if only the software would finish copying, I could call it a night. Stupid work.

I still have half a shot of Jameson.

And half a bottle of Redbreast.

That may make finishing my cards a bit more bearable.

I feel like I've been to Hallmark half a dozen times in the last week.

[StarsAndGarters]

Someone threw up in front of your door.

Eeeeww. I hope the management deals with that.

Howdy Gus.

How's it treating you out here?

It rained a bit this morning here but became a nice enough day.

Yeah, it's been really nice. I love that it's, you know, not below freezing.

Are you done for the semester too, Chris?

[K'Nort]

Eeeeww. I hope the management deals with that.

I'm hoping they deal with what someone somehow did in the washing machine first.

At this rate, the place will burn down while I'm in Portland.

[Tadhg]

Night all. Good seeing you around Gus.


And I got all the books you recommended Kristen, I'll read them in the airports this coming week.

Io Saturnalia, everyone

[K'Nort]

How is this possible :

Can come off as boring, but they are not.


I mean, if you're bored, you're bored. Not an area where someone else can say 'No, you're wrong, you're not!'

[StarsAndGarters]

I'm hoping they deal with what someone somehow did in the washing machine first.

At this rate, the place will burn down while I'm in Portland.

Oh dear. Dare I ask?

Night all. Good seeing you around Gus.

Tadhg! Good to see you, man.

[howyadoin]

I was catching up on my Far Side calendar, and I came across this one I'd never seen before:

http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/1986/farsidekv0.jpg

Any help in deciphering the joke here?

When he walks the kangaroo, he spends an inordinate amount of time leaning his head back and forth, due to the height of the kangaroo's hopping. This leads to muscle cramps.That'd work better if it were actually funny.

[mattx110]

That'd work better if it were actually funny.
They can't all be winners.

It's a lot like competitional porn in that way.

[StarsAndGarters]

How is this possible :

Can come off as boring, but they are not.


I mean, if you're bored, you're bored. Not an area where someone else can say 'No, you're wrong, you're not!'

Maybe the idea is that if you only give it a short look, it appears uninteresting, but if you give it a chance it isn't.

But yeah, the phrasing doesn't make sense.

That'd work better if it were actually funny.

That cartoon sure doesn't fall in that category.

[K'Nort]

Maybe the idea is that if you only give it a short look, it appears uninteresting, but if you give it a chance it isn't.

But yeah, the phrasing doesn't make sense.

It's describing people, though. A particular zodiac sign.

[StarsAndGarters]

It's describing people, though. A particular zodiac sign.

Oh, that makes more sense to me. Some people don't seem very interesting unless you engage them with something they're interested in. People come out of their shells that way. When I was younger I was that way.

[Ben Morgan]

A commercial for the clapper is on TV now. What year is this?

[howyadoin]

I know 'goog', but I'm far more comfortable with 'hug', 'pudding' and 'portable wishwasher'.
Chat monster! Gaoh!I miss the chat sometimes.

Personally, I'm not sure how many people actually utilize this service as much as they might be able to. Seems like Google killed the library star.That was oddly profound.

I'm still more psyched about Iron Man. That trailer was ungodly good.Seconded.

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/funny-pictures-cat-needs-toilet-paper.jpgI should start taking photos of my parents' cat. He's practically a lolcat all on his own.

I was truly expecting to like Something About Mary but only cracked a smile once.I came within a couple millimeters of pissing my pants.

HARELIP! HARELIP!Weird. I was just thinkin' about that joke today.

My issue with Katie Holmes was the same as with the girl who played Lois in Superman Returns. They just looked too dang young for the roles.Lovely boobs, though.

[howyadoin]

A commercial for the clapper is on TV now. What year is this?They should make one to log you out of CBR.

[K'Nort]

A commercial for the clapper is on TV now. What year is this?

Maybe that's what inspired Get Fuzzy this week.

[Michael P]

A commercial for the clapper is on TV now. What year is this?
Based solely on this evidence, 1991.


Lovely boobs, though.

Only her husband knows for sure.

Wait, no...

[howyadoin]

Only her husband knows for sure.Not in Katie's case. Millions have seen the evidence.

[Michael P]

Not in Katie's case. Millions have seen the evidence.

She did a topless? I wasn't aware.

And in any case, it's not like I could pass up a free shot at Tom.

[Chris Nowlin]

She did a topless? I wasn't aware.

And in any case, it's not like I could pass up a free shot at Tom.

The Gift.

I've only seen stills from the movie

[StoneGold]

Not that I'm bored yet, but it's weird how I'm much more likely to post when I'm in California.

Hi folks.

What part of the motherland you living in?

[StoneGold]

The Gift.

I've only seen stills from the movie

It's Raimi. What's not to love?

[Michael P]

The Gift.

I've only seen stills from the movie

I am now in agreement with Howy's statement.

[Paradox]

"Catch & Release" has brought me to the conclusion that Kevin Smith's presence no longer guarantees I'll find something to like about a movie.

Plus I just can't buy Timothy Olyphant as a leading man. He's got the crazy eyes. He can't be the "nice guy". He does crazy guy well, though.

[Paradox]

And, yes, Katie Holmes has a very nice chest, and more evenly matched than the halves of her face.

[Paradox]

Dr. Hfuhruhurr has it:

I know we've covered this before, but even though it's the holidays, everyone seems extra-pissy, me included.

It's got to be. My family all lives out of town and we don't buy presents any more. I have to work Christmas Eve and Christmas, so I won't be doing anything for the holiday. Stress level's about zero and I'm fine.

[Nick Soapdish]

*Ditto to what Michael said. Only take the job if they reimburse your commuter expenses, Jeff.


And don't forget to count your time as an expense.

That, or you're paid by the hour.

Guilty.

I sort of see it as a punishment for them not getting me benefits even though I'm on 9 years. Granted, it's not completely their fault because it takes the legislature to add a position and they're gung-ho on showing the citizens that we're cutting expenses. (I think we're 49th in public employees per capita.)

Oh, that makes more sense to me. Some people don't seem very interesting unless you engage them with something they're interested in. People come out of their shells that way. When I was younger I was that way.

That's like me.

Except for the coming out of my shell and turning interesting part.

[Paradox]

Ray R. wants some American Beauty:

I'll work the fryer if you handle drive-through. And I'm not kidding about it, either.

Careful, boys. That way lies getting shot by a latent homosexual who thinks you're getting blowjobs from his drug-dealing son.

[Puma]

Just back from exercise class. It's been a while since I did circuit, considering how I feel right now tomorrow is going to be painful.

[Paradox]

Athena Bast has a good story:

Best non-Tot story ever:

Boyfriend was talking to his stepmother last night via the phone (his dad is in the hospital). Anyway, his half-sister who's only 2 hands her mother the "Time Out Clock" then proceeds to punch her older brother in the face and then goes and puts herself in the corner for a time out.

Smart, mentally agile, knows the rules and takes responsibility. She'll go far.

[Athena Bast]

Awesome understanding of cause and effect!

Said older brother also has un-childproofed all the childproof locks in their house. He's 5.

[Michael P]

Said older brother also has un-childproofed all the childproof locks in their house. He's 5.

So how do they feel, raising the Children of the Damned?

[Paradox]

Pfft...nothing's "child-proof". Usually it just means "adult-proof".

[Athena Bast]

So people know you're truly sick and not taking a mental health day. In plenty of work environments, that's crucial.

Retail like environments especially.

One thing I hate at my store is when I should have been resting my knee I went to work and the general manager patted me on the back. I wanted so much to say, "Do not congratulate me on disregarding my morality, cradlerobber!" But I have a sense of decorum that is sorely lacking in many of my compatriots and if my boss had any balls we wouldn't have half the problems we do.

[Athena Bast]

And, yes, Katie Holmes has a very nice chest, and more evenly matched than the halves of her face.

She just turned 29 and I'm like she looks like she's over 40 most days.

[Athena Bast]

So how do they feel, raising the Children of the Damned?

Knowing their father, it was inevitable.

[Athena Bast]

Pfft...nothing's "child-proof". Usually it just means "adult-proof".

See post #1910

[Paradox]

You get abducted by a cult and have Rosemary's Baby and we'll see how you look. ;)

[Chris Nowlin]

That's like me.

Except for the coming out of my shell and turning interesting part.

Ditto here.

[Nick Soapdish]

Ditto here.

We're like caterpillars.

That turn into caterpillars.

[Athena Bast]

You get abducted by a cult and have Rosemary's Baby and we'll see how you look. ;)

Well, most of my childhood crushes were of the 4-colour variety or gay so no worries on that point.;)

[Athena Bast]

Oh good lord they are remaking "The Day The Earth Stood Still".

Not only that but Keanu is playing Klaatu.

[Paradox]

Monotone Keanu should be playing Gort.

[Athena Bast]

Kinda bright point... Jennifer Connelly is playing the female lead.

[Paradox]

Can we get her to eat a pizza first? I can't remember the last time I saw someone go from "super-hot" to "haggard" so quickly.

[Chris Nowlin]

I still find Jenny attractice.

I think. Beautiful Mind, Hulk; still attractive

[Paradox]

I think she'd look fine if she'd just put on some weight. It's so bad it affects her face.

[Gilda Dent]

Welcome to my world. Take this job and shove it.

I'm becoming a teacher.

In three weeks, I'll be rejoining that particular profession myself.

So I watched Battlestar Galactica: Razor last night.



Hmmm, long way to go for a major if cryptic plot point involving Starbuck. I liked the story within a story concerning the Pegasus. You can tell the producers are doing a good job to get both the regular stars and previous guest stars to come back and cover a lot of the same material. The minisodes with Adama in his first pilot action were pretty good, too. Whoever did him, had the Edward James Olmos voice pretty well down pat. Must have been fun writing Kain as a butch dyke lesbian with Caprica 6 playing bottom. Man, she gets around.



Stupid Netflix. It's sitting there at the top of my queue, with "long wait" on it, and has been since its release date. We get punished for being a high volume customer.

I miss my tramadol

Available over the counter in Argentina. And significantly cheaper than in the US.

[Chris Nowlin]

Yay for teaching

[Justin D.]

Oh good lord they are remaking "The Day The Earth Stood Still".

Not only that but Keanu is playing Klaatu.

I choose not to believe you.

I've even read the Variety article, and I refuse to believe it.

. . .

I kind of forgot to eat lunch today and had a big wrap for dinner, but I'm hungry again now. I'm tempted to sit and eat all the jerk chicken wings leftover from last Friday's party instead of throwing them out, but I'm afraid it may give me heartburn. Or assburn.

[Josh S]

I kind of forgot to eat lunch today and had a big wrap for dinner, but I'm hungry again now. I'm tempted to sit and eat all the jerk chicken wings leftover from last Friday's party instead of throwing them out, but I'm afraid it may give me heartburn. Or assburn.

You have to risk it. It's poor form to throw away jerk chicken wings.

[Athena Bast]

I choose not to believe you.

I've even read the Variety article, and I refuse to believe it.

. . .


Oh oh! They're remaking Pretty Woman too!!

[Ben Morgan]

*lights go off in Ritas*


DONG!........... DONG! (see current avatar for explanation)

[Gilda Dent]

Yay for teaching

Yeah. It's a community college, so I figure my classes will be filled with highly motivated high achieving students.

[Chris Nowlin]

Yeah. It's a community college, so I figure my classes will be filled with highly motivated high achieving students.

Good luck with that.

What subject?

[Justin D.]

You have to risk it. It's poor form to throw away jerk chicken wings.

True, I would feel oddly guilty about that.

Oh oh! They're remaking Pretty Woman too!!

That, I don't give a shit about. It's a Cinderella story about a hooker. I might have liked it more if it went by it's original working title, $3,000.

I just looked and it turns out Jessica Simpson wants to remake Pretty Woman, not that it's actually getting made.

Yeah. It's a community college, so I figure my classes will be filled with highly motivated high achieving students.

I can't tell if that's sarcastic.

[Royal]

Hey all.

*opens a case*

what are retarded two weeks I've had.

[Paradox]

Justin Davis can't tell:

I can't tell if that's sarcastic.

Whether she is or not, I've found that to be true. A large portion of community college students are adults trying to better themselves and are serious about it, unlike most kids that go to 4 year schools just to party and get away from mom and dad.

[Athena Bast]

That, I don't give a shit about. It's a Cinderella story about a hooker. I might have liked it more if it went by it's original working title, $3,000.

I just looked and it turns out Jessica Simpson wants to remake Pretty Woman, not that it's actually getting made.


I was just trying to come up with some other disastrous why god why forsaken option. *sniff*:p

[Athena Bast]

I just cracked open "Lamb" by Christopher Moore and its already made me giggle reading the first page. I'm going to like this.

[Paradox]

Eh, don't worry about it. Lots of women with no chance in hell have said they wanted to play Wonder Woman, too. Such choices are RARELY up to the actress.

[Gilda Dent]

Good luck with that.

What subject?

Reading and language essentials, intro to literature, children's literature, and either world or American literature. I find out the last one when I go in January.

One evening continuing education course, introduction to poetry.

[Gilda Dent]

I can't tell if that's sarcastic.

Only partly. The highly motivated part is, according the dean of humanities, pretty accurate, especially those in the transfer program, but a lot of the students have some academic deficiencies.

The reading and language essentials class is a non-credit class for students who need a refresher in basic reading and composition skills before they go into the freshmen level courses.

[kmeyers]

Reading and language essentials, intro to literature, children's literature, and either world or American literature. I find out the last one when I go in January.

One evening continuing education course, introduction to poetry.

Aww...I had one of my(photography)professors in college tell me that painting and poetry were dead arts. I responded by throwing a loaded paintbrush in his face and asking him how he would tell the story of why he had paint all over his face.

[morna]

morning


man that was a shitter of a day.

[Slam_Bradley]

I just cracked open "Lamb" by Christopher Moore and its already made me giggle reading the first page. I'm going to like this.

It's a very funny novel. I'm a big fan of Christopher Moore.

[Justin D.]

Only partly. The highly motivated part is, according the dean of humanities, pretty accurate, especially those in the transfer program, but a lot of the students have some academic deficiencies.

The reading and language essentials class is a non-credit class for students who need a refresher in basic reading and composition skills before they go into the freshmen level courses.

I went to a community college. Or was it a junior college? Same thing I know, but I've heard it called both.

Anyway, I went to a community college to get some of my basics out of the way before I went to a four-year college. Took a bunch of other stuff while I was there, like pottery. I still have a vase I made in my pottery class and was recently complimented for it during a party at my house. I make fun of community colleges myself every once in a while, but honestly, there's nothing wrong with them.

Although, I did slack off in most my classes in community college. I'd wake up, drive to the school, go to class, and sleep for an hour before trudging off to the next one. It's not a big surprise that I retook many of those classes in the four-year college. After having been a teacher myself now, I can understand how annoying it must have been seeing me sleeping away in a class. Ugh. Shameful.

Aww...I had one of my(photography)professors in college tell me that painting and poetry were dead arts. I responded by throwing a loaded paintbrush in his face and asking him how he would tell the story of why he had paint all over his face.

No, you din't!

[Chris Nowlin]

morning


man that was a shitter of a day.

I'm sorry morna.

Have a drink

[Athena Bast]

It's a very funny novel. I'm a big fan of Christopher Moore.

I like religious satire. I have 4 of James Morrow's books. Well, I'm in possession of three of them. An ex who shall remain dickless took one.

[Justin D.]

It's a very funny novel. I'm a big fan of Christopher Moore.

I missed a book signing by him this past summer. I've had Lamb on my wish list for a while. Maybe I'll get it for Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas gifts (see what I did there?), Kristina gave me one early because she managed to buy it at work today. She gave me a nice, 17-inch flat screen computer monitor today. I had an old 15-inch CRT monitor before this. The difference is tremendous.

[Paradox]

Chris Nowlin snarks:

I'm sorry morna.

Have a drink

Careful. She might get all mot asber all over again. ;)

[Athena Bast]

I missed a book signing by him this past summer. I've had Lamb on my wish list for a while. Maybe I'll get it for Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas gifts (see what I did there?), Kristina gave me one early because she managed to buy it at work today. She gave me a nice, 17-inch flat screen computer monitor today. I had an old 15-inch CRT monitor before this. The difference is tremendous.

Boyfriend bought me a 19inch flat screen for our first anniversary in 2006.

The gift edition of Lamb out this year has a couple bonus appendixes inside a nice black leatherette cover with gold edging on the pages and red ribbon bookmark so it looks like an official type bible book thingie.

[Slam_Bradley]

I missed a book signing by him this past summer. I've had Lamb on my wish list for a while. Maybe I'll get it for Christmas.



If you're in the Christmas spirit...his book The Stupidest Angel is also hilarious. And it has zombies. Christmas zombies.

[Chris Nowlin]

Careful. She might get all mot asber all over again. ;)

Egg nog does sound good.



I do hope you're feeling better, morna

[Justin D.]

Boyfriend bought me a 19inch flat screen for our first anniversary in 2006.

Oh, yeah, well... my girlfriend bought me a 21-inch flat screen and a Wii. Yeah, beat that!

The gift edition of Lamb out this year has a couple bonus appendixes inside a nice black leatherette cover with gold edging on the pages and red ribbon bookmark so it looks like an official type bible book thingie.

Nice.

If you're in the Christmas spirit...his book The Stupidest Angel is also hilarious. And it has zombies. Christmas zombies.

The name alone sounds like a funny, satirical take on religion or a Hallmark card description. I assume it's the former.

[Athena Bast]

Oh, yeah, well... my girlfriend bought me a 21-inch flat screen and a Wii. Yeah, beat that!


I'm getting him a Baneblade for Christmas, a Tachikoma for his birthday and getting us both iPods for our anniversary. (Not matching ones. I'm crazy not cheesy)

[Josh S]

Oh, yeah, well... my girlfriend bought me a 21-inch flat screen and a Wii. Yeah, beat that!


She bought me a 42-inch flat screen and a Wii.

No, she didn't. :(

[morna]

Egg nog does sound good.



I do hope you're feeling better, morna

Thanks Chris, I'm feeling a bit better now. It was one of those crappy Morna gets the hangover for both of us deals. Gary drank the same things and quantities I did and was fine this morning. Which is good as he had to work.

[Paradox]

On the good side, at least you get credit for the latest Rita's running gag. :)

[Chris Nowlin]

Oh, yeah, well... my girlfriend bought me a 21-inch flat screen and a Wii. Yeah, beat that!


Oh yeah, well my girlfriend doesn't exist, but the guy I live with bought himself a 32 inch flatscreen and a wii which I can use at my leisure.

So there

[Paradox]

I have a roommate that's good for that, too. I've been playing his video games and using his computers for a decade. :p Even the one I'm using now is his old one I bought from him, and that was just last year.

[Ben Morgan]

She bought me a 42-inch flat screen and a Wii.

No, she didn't. :(

*buys Josh a 84 inch flat sceen and a Wii*


No, I didn't :p

[kmeyers]

No, you din't!

It was really great, because he got my point...and I wasn't kicked out of the university for "attacking" a professor with a paintbrush.

[morna]

On the good side, at least you get credit for the latest Rita's running gag. :)

ya that was sweet. I was up long enough to catch a little before throwing up and going back to bed. One of very few smiles today. : )

[Chris Nowlin]

My friend made egg nog cheesecake and brought some over yesterday.

Delicious

[Justin D.]

I'm getting him a Baneblade for Christmas, a Tachikoma for his birthday and getting us both iPods for our anniversary. (Not matching ones. I'm crazy not cheesy)

I don't know what either of those first two things are, but they sound dangerous. I want some type of MP3 player for gym time. I can't stand the music in those places and there's never anything worth watching on the TV.

She bought me a 42-inch flat screen and a Wii.

No, she didn't. :(

She doesn't like you. If she did, she would've bought those things for you.

Oh yeah, well my girlfriend doesn't exist, but the guy I live with bought himself a 32 inch flatscreen and a wii which I can use at my leisure.

So there

I have a roommate that's good for that, too. I've been playing his video games and using his computers for a decade. :p Even the one I'm using now is his old one I bought from him, and that was just last year.

I have sex on a regular basis.

I win.

[Josh S]

She doesn't like you.

Wait. Is your girlfriend my wife?

[Chris Nowlin]

I have sex on a regular basis.

I win.

Did you read the post about the eggnog cheesecake?

[Pól Rua]

*Josh kan haz 84 inch flat sceen and a Wii*


But I eated it. :(

Had to.
Sorry.

[Chris Nowlin]

Had to.
Sorry.

No picture?

[Justin D.]

Wait. Is your girlfriend my wife?

Depends. Does she mock you in various and sundry, frustrating ways, but you let it go because she's cute and possibly smarter than you even though . . . oh, crap, I think I heard her . . .

Did you read the post about the eggnog cheesecake?

Yes, and it sounds disgusting. Then again, I don't think I've ever had eggnog.

[Athena Bast]

I don't know what either of those first two things are, but they sound dangerous.

This is a Baneblade. It's a tank in the Warhammer 40k universe that's used mostly by the Imperial Guard but is also available to some Space Marine chapters. It's classified as a "super heavy" tank. See UBER. It was released for the first time as a plastic kit of 250 pieces this year for the Apocalypse expansion rules. It was previously only available as a resin (and uberly expensive) kit from ForgeWorld. They make really cool shit for Games Workshop models.

http://ca.games-workshop.com/storefront/newimage.asp?Size=A&Img=259627

This is a tachikoma (the blue machine. The woman is Major Kusanagi Motoko). It is a sentient and slightly child-like tank from the anime "Ghost in the Shell". It comes in several colours and sizes and one slightly cracked personality.

http://www.hlj.com/images/gsc/gsc96701_2.jpg

[Chris Nowlin]

Then again, I don't think I've ever had eggnog.

You're the one whose life is lacking then.

You just enjoy all that sex.

I'll enjoy my eggnog.

[Ben Morgan]

No picture?
Yeah, you ripped us off Pol!

[StoneGold]

John Tesh punched me in the chest tonight.

[Athena Bast]

Is it really a spoiler to find out Leonidas and his Spartans die in 300?

Well, I guess it is. But I mean, ah hell, nevermind.

[Josh S]

Depends. Does she mock you in various and sundry, frustrating ways, but you let it go because she's cute and possibly smarter than you even though . . . oh, crap, I think I heard her . . .


That sounds about right.


Yes, and it sounds disgusting. Then again, I don't think I've ever had eggnog.

Nor have I. I enjoy eggs, but they weren't made for drinkin'. And the word "nog" sounds disgusting.

[Ben Morgan]

Is it really a spoiler to find out Leonidas and his Spartans die in 300?

Well, I guess it is. But I mean, ah hell, nevermind.Well it's based off of a historical battle, so is it really a spoiler?

Did you hear that JFK died?

[Chris Nowlin]

Is it really a spoiler to find out Leonidas and his Spartans die in 300?

Well, I guess it is. But I mean, ah hell, nevermind.

Well, The ship in Titanic sinks, Jesus gets hurt in Passion of the Christ, Spider-Man comes out okay at the end of Spider-Man 3, and Bruce Willis is a ghost.

Also, That monster in that episode of Scooby Doo wasn't a real monster. It was a fake as part of a real estate swindle

[Ben Morgan]

Also, That monster in that episode of Scooby Doo wasn't a real monster. It was a fake as part of a real estate swindle

I was totally fooled

[Athena Bast]

Well it's based off of a historical battle, so is it really a spoiler?

Did you hear that JFK died?

Yeah well, I've been a part of some very stupid crowds in movie theatres. Mostly due to the vaginas some of the penises brought with them.

[Pól Rua]

No picture?

Oh alright then...
http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f322/polrua/munky%20pixs/shocked_monkey2.jpg

[Ben Morgan]

Oh alright then...
http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f322/polrua/munky%20pixs/shocked_monkey2.jpg

Hilarious!

[kmeyers]

I was totally fooled

You wear a pointy hat, don't you?

[Ben Morgan]

Wait a second......that's not a cat!

[Ben Morgan]

You wear a pointy hat, don't you?
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i294/doofer_2006/TinFoilAlert.jpg

[Justin D.]

John Tesh punched me in the chest tonight.

Ok, I'll ask.

What?

[kmeyers]

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i294/doofer_2006/TinFoilAlert.jpg

I was thinking more like this...

http://nieuwemaan.punt.nl/upload/DunceCap.jpg

http://www.halloweenstore.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/pe/180.jpg

[Pól Rua]

John Tesh punched me in the chest tonight.

You must be living right.

[Pól Rua]

You're the one whose life is lacking then.

You just enjoy all that sex.

I'll enjoy my eggnog.

OATNOG!!! Woo!!!

apologies to anyone who doesn't read 'Castle Waiting'...


... waitaminute! Stop That! Read 'Castle Waiting' by FUCK!

[Ben Morgan]

I was thinking more like this...

http://nieuwemaan.punt.nl/upload/DunceCap.jpg

http://www.halloweenstore.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/pe/180.jpg
http://www.zenbutoh.com/charactergallery/images/Conehead.jpg

[kmeyers]

You must be living right.

Lucky he's only getting a regular punch to his chest, and not the traditional John Tesh Donkey Punch to the...SHUT YO MOUTH!

[StoneGold]

Ok, I'll ask.

What?

I figured eventually the suspense would get to someone. I worked a charity food drive thing tonight. Tesh was there bagging up food. I think his daughter was there or something for school. Maria Shriver was there for a while too. Anyways, I'm walking behind him when he starts taking off his jacket and he plants a fist accidentally in the middle of my chest. Not enough to hurt or anything, but enough to give me a semi-interesting story.

[Athena Bast]

I figured eventually the suspense would get to someone. I worked a charity food drive thing tonight. Tesh was there bagging up food. I think his daughter was there or something for school. Maria Shriver was there for a while too. Anyways, I'm walking behind him when he starts taking off his jacket and he plants a fist accidentally in the middle of my chest. Not enough to hurt or anything, but enough to give me a semi-interesting story.

This the same thing that Teri Hatcher was at too?

[StoneGold]

This the same thing that Teri Hatcher was at too?

If she was, I didn't see her. I only noticed Tesh because he's Frankenstein, and someone else pointed out Shriver to me. But if you heard about it, probably not. I didn't see any cameras or anything.

[Justin D.]

Want to see something awesome?

Sure you do. (http://arthursclassicnovels.com/)

Although, I was just talking with Stony about how I don't usually read long articles on the computer. This may be worth it though. I found it when doing a search for Pigeons from Hell, based on Pol's suggestion on the Books board.

[Athena Bast]

If she was, I didn't see her. I only noticed Tesh because he's Frankenstein, and someone else pointed out Shriver to me. But if you heard about it, probably not. I didn't see any cameras or anything.

It was one of those Extra Insider Access Tonight shows. Teri Hatcher was bagging food at a drive sponsored by Netflix.

[StoneGold]

It was one of those Extra Insider Access Tonight shows. Teri Hatcher was bagging food at a drive sponsored by Netflix.

Pretty sure it wasn't that, then. Besides, the thing started tonight, I'd assume it would have to have happened yesterday for you to have seen something on it. Or at least earlier in the day. This thing started at 7:30 PST.

[Pól Rua]

Wait a second......that's not a cat!

http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f322/polrua/munky%20pixs/disgruntledmonkey2.jpg
Besides, kitteh is there...
http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f322/polrua/munky%20pixs/GateThingie.jpg

[Pól Rua]

Want to see something awesome?

Sure you do. (http://arthursclassicnovels.com/)

Great googly moogly.
Did I also recommend Clark Ashton Smith? 'Cos he's good too.
Fuck, is he good!

[Justin D.]

Great googly moogly.
Did I also recommend Clark Ashton Smith? 'Cos he's good too.
Fuck, is he good!

You mean, this guy (http://arthursclassicnovels.com/arthurs/horror/tseed10.html)? No, but I'll try to check him out.

[Pól Rua]

He's dead eldritch, he is.
Very good at looming, ponderous, strange dread.

[Brian Cronin]

Cronin's 'hood.

Oh?

Which city?

And yeah, Mike, these places reimburse you for the travel costs (which aren't exactly exorbitant - New Rochelle to NYC roundtrip is $15 if you're going at peak times).

-Brian

[Pól Rua]

'Night all. I'm off for drinking! Woo!

And I have the new Tim Powers novel. But first, drinking. Because Tim Powers drunk = bad. Bad. BAAAAAAAAAD!

DRINKING NOW!

MOTS ASBER!!!

[cactusmaac]

Off to Pakistan for two weeks. Hopefully I will not have to pay a bribe at the airport, catch bird flu, get mugged, forced into a marriage or have the plane fall out of the sky at 20,000 feet.

[Typo Lad]

Oh oh! They're remaking Pretty Woman too!!

We're officially creatively stagnant.