Possibly the best Amazon review ever

[Tobias March]

And why not (http://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R3QR3AC2WXWHIT/ref=cm_cr_rdp_perm/)

[Lunar Daydreamer]

Brilliant stuff. Very funny. :)

[Cam63]

I'm imagining Christopher Walken's voice over that review.

[KevinTBrown]

I'm imagining Christopher Walken's voice over that review.

Hmmmm, I was imagining Christopher Llyod using his Jim Ignatowski voice...

[Infra-Man]

I appreciate the advice at the end of the review. If only I'd known sooner.

[the4thpip]

Amazon itself creates some funny, too:


Price: £0.13

Availability: In stock.
Want it by Christmas? View this seller's delivery details.

Amazon. Where cheapskates buy their Christmas gifts.

[Jared_Humpherys]

That was pretty funny. Also, if you like funny amazon reviews, this here is a goldmine (http://www.amazon.com/Crossroads-Twilight-Wheel-Time-Book/dp/B000FFJRI6/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1197300856&sr=1-1).

[Solaris]

That was pretty funny. Also, if you like funny amazon reviews, this here is a goldmine (http://www.amazon.com/Crossroads-Twilight-Wheel-Time-Book/dp/B000FFJRI6/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1197300856&sr=1-1).

If you're talking about the review by customer Robert J. Kang "kanger":

The book simply had too many descriptions of flustered Aes Sedai, who were not normally flustered, smooth their skirts, one of whom preferred wearing high-necked gowns embroidered with patterns of tea leaves embossed in gold touched with silver, except where the lace began, which, coming from Tear, was the finest lace ever to be found, except, of course, for lace could only be found in Caemlyn, but even lace from Caemlyn paled in comparison to the lace made in . . .

Some of Mr. Jordan's readers have described this as rich storytelling. I respectfully disagree. On one occasion, Mr. Jordan provided a ten-minute description of nothing more than what a group of women were wearing. Literally ten minutes, and literally nothing more than a description of clothing. If this does not cross the line from rich storytelling to schlock writing, I do not know what does.

...I only have one question (okay, two):

When did my daughter Megan start writing, and why is she going by "Robert Jordan"?

I SWEAR to you, that is EXACTLY the way Megan tends to catch us up on news in her life: so many side trips into meaningless information about people who I neither know nor care about, how they play World of Warcraft, what kind of character they play in WWC, the last conversation they had in WWC, the surroundings where they talked, what the guild thought of the conversation... *insert ten minutes of info on various guildmembers and how nice or snarky they are* ... and then back to the initial subject, with at times an interjection totally unrelated to the topic (i.e. looking out the window at the approaching storm and saying, "Oooo: Lighting!")... then back to the person's CAT... "not their OLD cat of course, who died of..." *insert 3 minutes on how the old cat died, where it was buried, how they found it as a waif, the owner's nervous breakdown over her mother running over the cat with a lawnmower*... "anyway, not the old cat, but the NEW cat, named after their WWC character's familiar (who's a bloodelf---the character, not the cat; do you know what a bloodelf is? WWC introduced them in the latest module, and...)...

"...

"...and then Adam said he wasn't going to pay that much for a new car, and Eve got really angry, because she'd loaned him the money and now they're broken up. And um..."

*pregnant pause*

"...what was I saying again? Oh yeah---my friend Sheila, who who plays WWC with Adam..."

"Meg: STOP. Just tell me: did you get the apartment?"

"Well, I was about to get to that. Yes, we got it. See, Sheila finally got the money from Indy, that she owed her two years ago when Indy was living with Sheila; that was back when Sheila and Indy were best friends, before Sheila found out that Indy was dating her boyfriend behind her back..."

***

Megan is the QUEEN of the Enclopaedia Britannica, Unabridged, Director's Cut Conversation.

:D

And now I know... she's gotten a job on the side, writing as "Robert Jordan." Heh.

[AndrewCrossett]

I made it all the way through the prologue of a Robert Jordan book once.

[Chris Hansbrough]

I made it all the way through the prologue of a Robert Jordan book once.

see I loved the first few.....and then they just got plodding....his longest book was like 1000 pages and a week of time went by or something like that....it just got insane. but the first few books were quite fantastic....

oh and if you want bad....read the early Shanarra books from Terry Brooks....that guy went on for pages about flowers.....the early ones were terrible....but he developed and because quite a good writer....which confuses me as rbert Jordan did the exact opposite and devolved as a writer....

still noone holds a candle to steven eriksons malazan books of the fallen....that guy is like jesus with a typewriter....those books are fuggin goooooooood....