Let's Play "Ask The Jew"!

[howyadoin]

Dear The Jew,

What does "Ph Geeze" mean?

Sincerely,
Confused in Canada

[Joe Grendel]

Were there any famous jewish cowboys?
Kinky Friedman. He's even a singing cowboy.

[Super Hero Guy]

Dear Morts,

why is it the Jews as a people seem so much more successful than other peoples in general. Is it because of God blessing them? If so, what's all the centuries of persecution about?

[Typo Lad]

Dear The Jew,

What does "Ph Geeze" mean?

Sincerely,
Confused in Canada

It means I hate you.

[Typo Lad]

why is it the Jews as a people seem so much more successful than other peoples in general.

We are? No-one told me, damnit.

Seriously though, emphasis on seem. Part may be because there's traditionally been a lot of Jews involved in Hollywood, but that's like saying African-Americans are better athletes because the majority of NBA players are black. One does not prove the other.

Is it because of God blessing them? If so, what's all the centuries of persecution about?

The persecution?

Same reason anyone else is persecuted.

Jews are "the other".

Only we're worse than most Others, because we look the same as the general populous.

Anyone could be a Jew. The guy who delivers your mail, your trashman, yoru doctor, your accountant... even your best friend.

So basically, we're like Mutants, minus the powers.

[Patient Boy]

So basically, we're like Mutants, minus the powers.

Do you also own a psychic-proof yarmulke (pronounced yarmulke)?

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

Seinfeld….What do I think of Seinfeld?

I don’t, really.

I find the characters offensive. I find the show flat and unfunny. I think the fact that these nasty, selfish pricks are supposed to be Jewish enforces just about every negative stereotype.

They’re Jews in the “Woody Allen” line of Judiasm. They’re funny, but neurotic and live
in NY. Hey, they must be Jewish!


But do any of them specifically say that it's being Jewish that causes their neurtoticism?

I mean I find them funny - Woody especially.

However to complain about them reinfocring a negative sterotype... well, Woody seems to base things around his life - sometimes very autobiographically, sometime just around themes he is intrested in, and Jerry Sienfield and Larry David based Sienfield on their lives....

It's not like a WASP is making it purposefully "nasty" (not that Woody allen is normally nasty), it's them.

[Typo Lad]

Do you also own a psychic-proof yarmulke (pronounced yarmulke)?

Pronounced ya-ma-ka, actually. No idea where all those extra constinants came from.

And no, but mine has anti-grav powers.

[Typo Lad]

But do any of them specifically say that it's being Jewish that causes their neurtoticism?

I mean I find them funny - Woody especially.

Woddy Allen used to in his stand-up, but eventually it just became part and parcel of his shtick.

However to complain about them reinfocring a negative sterotype... well, Woody seems to base things around his life - sometimes very autobiographically, sometime just around themes he is intrested in, and Jerry Sienfield and Larry David based Sienfield on their lives....

It's not like a WASP is making it purposefully "nasty" (not that Woody allen is normally nasty), it's them.

True.

But you cna be upset about your own people portyraing a negative image just as much as another race doing it.

heck, in some ways it's WORSE.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

True.

But you cna be upset about your own people portyraing a negative image just as much as another race doing it.

heck, in some ways it's WORSE.

Look who your talking to!

I mean Woody Allen is a genius (or was as it is looking like early 90's was the end of the goods), and sienfield can get a laugh.

Australians get bloody Paul Hogan, Steve Irwin and Rupert Bloody Murdoch.

Disgusting!

[west3man]

Seinfeld….What do I think of Seinfeld?

I don’t, really.

I find the characters offensive. I find the show flat and unfunny. I think the fact that these nasty, selfish pricks are supposed to be Jewish enforces just about every negative stereotype.

They’re Jews in the “Woody Allen” line of Judiasm. They’re funny, but neurotic and live
in NY. Hey, they must be Jewish!

Woody Allen and Jerry Seinfeld have a lot in common, actually. Anyone remember when
Seinfeld was dating a High Schooler? Not on the show, in real life. The sick part is that her High School is across the street from the NBC Studios in Midwood, Brooklyn. What, do you think he was looking out the window one day, saw her on the playground, and just HAD to meet her?
Just to toss in another perspective -

I don't think I ever associated the hilarious or less-than-noble traits of the Seinfeld characters (or Larry David) with Jews, in general. I never got the impression that these things were products OF their Jewish-ness (it didn't feel like Judaism applied). It was just coincidence, in my mind.

I think I get where you're coming from, though, as "the Winslow's" from "Family Matters," despite any funny moments, turned me waaaay the hell off when I saw an episode that ended with them spontaneously, GLEEFULLY dancing... for no good gosh-darn reason. One might call THAT incidental or coincidental, as well. *shrugs*

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

Is there a difference between writing God, and writing G-d?

If it's a taking the name in vain kinda thing, surely the censored version still counts as doing it?

[Typo Lad]

Is there a difference between writing God, and writing G-d?

I have officially lost track of how many times I have answered this question...

If it's a taking the name in vain kinda thing, surely the censored version still counts as doing it?

I got tired of answering this. Here, read this. (http://www.jewfaq.org/name.htm#Writing)

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

I have officially lost track of how many times I have answered this question...



I got tired of answering this. Here, read this. (http://www.jewfaq.org/name.htm#Writing)

So your scared Brian will edit and deface it?

Fair enough.

But if someone else did it, wouldn't it be their sin?
Would you be accountable?

[davidboring]

What do Jews believe about the afterlife?

[Typo Lad]

What do Jews believe about the afterlife?

That answer can be found in several places on this thread.

[Super Hero Guy]

How far do most Jews go to rest on the Sabbath? Technically wouldn't rest be to just lie in bed all day? And do you really think its resting if your inconviencing yourself to do so?

[Dom]

Why won't the Jewish deli I love sell me any corned beef?

[Typo Lad]

How far do most Jews go to rest on the Sabbath? Technically wouldn't rest be to just lie in bed all day? And do you really think its resting if your inconviencing yourself to do so?

"Rest" is a poor translation.

"Day of refraining from doing any of the 49 Tasks used during the construction of the Mishkan and thier coralaries" would be better, but it's a mouthful.

The laws of working on Sabbath are all learned out from the building of the Mishkan, the portable Temple that the Jews built in the wilderness. There are 49 "av" or parent tasks, and each of those have several "toldot", essentially stuff we learn out from them.

So for example, I can go for a long walk with my wife... as long as I don't carry anything on my person (unless there's an Aruv - a sort of "virtual wall" reaslly complicated stuff).

I can't cook, but I can make a sandwich. Recently, it was ruled that a warming tray is acceptible as long as it does not get so hot that you would pull your hand away on contact. You cna also use a slow cooker if everythign is started before the Sabbath.

You can also have sex, which may be why so many really religious Jews have so many kids.

I've never been mored on Shabbos. It's my quiet time. Just me, a book, and my daughter playing on the slide.

[Typo Lad]

Why won't the Jewish deli I love sell me any corned beef?

Really?

Hnh.

Try showering.

[Dom]

Really?

Hnh.

Try showering.


Is it because I slept with his daughter and never called her back? Is that some bad Jewish thing to do?

[MacQuarrie]

Is it because I slept with his daughter and never called her back? Is that some bad Jewish thing to do?
The goyim are for practice. The jewish girls are to marry.

Sheesh.

[Typo Lad]

Is it because I slept with his daughter and never called her back? Is that some bad Jewish thing to do?

...
If her dad knows about it?

Then yeah, avoid that place.

Remember, he knows how to cut up meat.

[Typo Lad]

The goyim are for practice. The jewish girls are to marry.

Sheesh.

Point of contention, sir:

The goyim are to convert, then marry. This is how we expand our genepool.

Which reminds me, tell Terri to expect a call from the local president of the IZC. We're very displeased with how she half-assed the situation.

[Dreadstar]

Remember, he knows how to cut up meat.

Aparently his daughter isn't a novice at handling it either...

[Dom]

Aparently his daughter isn't a novice at handling it either...


Actually....


but why would she tell her father?

"Daddy! That Italian guy I met at a club didn't call me back! You think it's because I'm a dirty tramp who slept with him without knowing his name?"

"No baby. and for that, the Italian guy who gets corned beef on rye will get nothing. I don't know his name either, so they must be the same guy!"

[Typo Lad]

Aparently his daughter isn't a novice at handling it either...

She practices in the back of the store.

[Typo Lad]

"No baby. and for that, the Italian guy who gets corned beef on rye will get nothing. I don't know his name either, so they must be the same guy!"

Hey, you guys all look alike to us!

[Davideaux]

Dear Jew,

Who's your favorite Old Testament patriarch?

[Dom]

Hey, you guys all look alike to us!


It's the back hair. Gets them every time. I'm going to start wearing a shirt. And not the one that says "I PIBB'd your little girl"

[Tages]

Dear Jew,

Who's your favorite Old Testament patriarch?
Dear Jew,

Continuing on that line, who's your favorite prophet? I have a soft spot for Samuel myself.

[Typo Lad]

Dear Jew,

Continuing on that line, who's your favorite prophet? I have a soft spot for Samuel myself.

Oh man...haven't read Judges in such a long time... have to find the name.. Devorah. She was just cool.

[Super Hero Guy]

dear Jew,

don't you mean Deborah?

[Slam_Bradley]

Dear Jew,

Would it offend you if I called you a lard-ass.


Idaho Cowpoke

[Typo Lad]

dear Jew,

don't you mean Deborah?

No, I mean Devorah.

For some reason those silly King James translators switched all the V's to B's.

[Typo Lad]

Would it offend you if I called you a lard-ass.


Depends.

Would it offend you if I said that you poked cows in a different kind of way?

[Slam_Bradley]

Depends.

Would it offend you if I said that you poked cows in a different kind of way?


Not if you said it, buddy. Cause it would all be out of love.

[Typo Lad]

Not if you said it, buddy. Cause it would all be out of love.

Tell you what...

You can call me lard-ass, but only if I can call you Chazzer-Fresser from now on.

[Slam_Bradley]

Tell you what...

You can call me lard-ass, but only if I can call you Chazzer-Fresser from now on.


Hmmmm....Fresser is "to eat a lot or quickly". I'm having a harder time finding a translation of the other portion.

[Typo Lad]

Hmmmm....Fresser is "to eat a lot or quickly". I'm having a harder time finding a translation of the other portion.

Pig.

Which is what lard is made of.

So in other words...bite my ass.

[fly on the wall]

I've got a good question that may stump The Jew!

Why did Jews invent gay-hating? This has caused a lot of trouble and only five thousand years later have we begun to untangle the mess.

If Jews didn't invent gay-hating then I take my question back, but I think for all intents and purposes they may have.

So why?

[Slam_Bradley]

Pig.

Which is what lard is made of.

So in other words...bite my ass.


How would Suzannah feel about that.


Not that you're my type.

[Typo Lad]

How would Suzannah feel about that.

Don't ask, don't tell.

Not that you're my type.

That's what they all say, until I get a little Jack in them.

Whisky, I mean.

[Typo Lad]

I've got a good question that may stump The Jew!

Keep that stump away from me!

Why did Jews invent gay-hating? This has caused a lot of trouble and only five thousand years later have we begun to untangle the mess.

If Jews didn't invent gay-hating then I take my question back, but I think for all intents and purposes they may have.

So why?

Suuuuure, blame the JEWS.

While Leviticus does say that Jews should not lay with a man as they would a woman, it is NOT saying to hate gays! It's saying "Hey, G-d doesn't like when you do that."

As you once remarked fly, from a strictly secular standpoint, a race trying to repopulate after decades of slavery would certainly frown upon any wasted breeding material.

That said, the word used to describe the act is Toevah, which means an act only G-d can punish. I follow the Torah - I'm not gay. If my brother were to turn around tomorrow and tell me he was gay I'd still love him. What he and his partner did would be betweent hem and G-d.

I don't need to worry about other people's soul's, mine is in enough trouble as it is.

[Lightbend]

Okay, question that's stumped me for a while, being a relatively secular jew myself.

Does judaism have an afterlife, or were Heaven/Purgatory/Hell first brought about in christianity?

[Typo Lad]

Okay, question that's stumped me for a while, being a relatively secular jew myself.

Does judaism have an afterlife, or were Heaven/Purgatory/Hell first brought about in christianity?

This one keeps coming up.

From Judiasm101:

[ Traditional Judaism firmly believes that death is not the end of human existence. However, because Judaism is primarily focused on life here and now rather than on the afterlife, Judaism does not have much dogma about the afterlife, and leaves a great deal of room for personal opinion. It is possible for an Orthodox Jew to believe that the souls of the righteous dead go to a place similar to the Christian heaven, or that they are reincarnated through many lifetimes, or that they simply wait until the coming of the messiah, when they will be resurrected. Likewise, Orthodox Jews can believe that the souls of the wicked are tormented by demons of their own creation, or that wicked souls are simply destroyed at death, ceasing to exist.

more (http://www.jewfaq.org/olamhaba.htm)

It has all the info you could want, including how many Jews (myself included) believe in reincarnation and what Heaven/Hell are, and how no one really stays in Hell "forever". All points I've made elsehwere in this thread.

[Dom]

Suuuuure, blame the JEWS.


In all fairness, you guys did kill Jesus.

[MacQuarrie]

Keep that stump away from me!
Morts isn't stump-trained.

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

In all fairness, you guys did kill Jesus.

IT WAS THE ROMANS!

[MacQuarrie]

Okay, question that's stumped me for a while, being a relatively secular jew myself.

Does judaism have an afterlife, or were Heaven/Purgatory/Hell first brought about in christianity?
In th eNew Testament, Jesus refuses to enter into an argument between the Pharisees who believed in heaven and angels, and the Sadduccees who did not. So it wasn't invented by the Christians.

[Bard]

Ok, Messianic Jews aren't my kinda people, to put it lightly, but let me comment regardless. Oh and as for spelling, I mangle english enough, you have fun with Hebrew>


No offence, of course,to my cousins here who believe in a Ressurected Messiah.

As a messianic Jew, and a fellow comic book lover, I won't take offense.

PAD doesn't seem to mind.

[Typo Lad]

As a messianic Jew, and a fellow comic book lover, I won't take offense.

Oh goodie.

PAD doesn't seem to mind.[/quote]

While I don't know Mr. David personally, he and I aren't of the same schools of Judaism. For example, I don't blog on Yom Kippur.

[boolean]

I don't need to worry about other people's soul's, mine is in enough trouble as it is.

A philosophy more people should live by.

Worrying about their own soul, that is. Not worrying about Morts'.

[fly on the wall]

Dear Jew,

Is tap water Kosher?

Hurry with the answer please!

Signed

Thirsty since Thursday

[Karl J. Barnes]

Does it upset you ,when genteels(sp?) use certain Jewish or maybe I should say Yiddish phrases as "Oy vey"," Putz" and on and on? Or do you and other Jews just roll your eyes and have a good laugh over it?

[Typo Lad]

Does it upset you ,when genteels(sp?) use certain Jewish or maybe I should say Yiddish phrases as "Oy vey"," Putz" and on and on? Or do you and other Jews just roll your eyes and have a good laugh over it?

Eh. I find it... cute.

Like when white boys try to be all "gansta".

[west3man]

Eh. I find it... cute.

Like when white boys try to be all "gansta".
Neat.

This gives me another opportunity to see things from the other side.

I thought about it, before posting, and figured out that the difference between my annoyance and/or amusement (or even indifference) is when it's clearly mocking, as opposed to someone just using a word they like.

But if you've gotta try to SOUND Black, too... *annoyance*

If it's a joke, that can be different, but it can get old, as well. It depends.

[Typo Lad]

Neat.

This gives me another opportunity to see things from the other side.

I.. I didn't know we were on opposing sides.

Is it shirts and skins?

I thought about it, before posting, and figured out that the difference between my annoyance and/or amusement (or even indifference) is when it's clearly mocking, as opposed to someone just using a word they like.

But if you've gotta try to SOUND Black, too... *annoyance*

If it's a joke, that can be different, but it can get old, as well. It depends.

What gets me is how the people in question put special emphasis on the "borrowed" word.

There's no empahsis on Yiddish words. it's just another word in the sentance. My empahsizing it, you're showing that you're TRYING to sound "Heeb".

[west3man]

There's no empahsis on Yiddish words. it's just another word in the sentance. My empahsizing it, you're showing that you're TRYING to sound "Heeb".
I could see emphasizing the new word, but doing it a certain way can give an unfavorable impression.

Of course, not all imitations are negative nor should some of them be interpreted that way. They could be seen as celebrations of the differences instead of the alternative.

I think you and I are on the same page, though.

[Typo Lad]

Dear Jew,

Is tap water Kosher?

Hurry with the answer please!

Signed

Thirsty since Thursday

Dear Thirsty,

You jest, but it's a good question.

Had you asked that 14 months ago, the answer would be "unadulterated water is ALWAYS Kosher."

However, quoting from an almost year old BBC article:

Tiny organisms known as copepods have been found in New York's unfiltered tap water. They are harmless.

The problem is, they are crustaceans. And eating crustaceans - shrimp, crabs, or any other creature with an external shell - is against Jewish law.

To make a long, complicated story short, NY water now must be filtered first. There is actually a company that sells filters JUST for these wee beasties.

I personally only use bottled water in NJ. NJ water, even filtered, gives me a tummy ache like you wouldn't believe.

[west3man]

I personally only use bottled water in NJ. NJ water, even filtered, gives me a tummy ache like you wouldn't believe.
Get the hell outta Jersey... when you can, anyway.

[Typo Lad]

Get the hell outta Jersey... when you can, anyway.

Aside from the undrinkable water, I really like it here.

I can walk down the block to a Kosher Supermarket. There's a Kosher Resteraunt Row another block down with a great selection. There's even a Kosher 24 Hour Dunkin Doughnuts.

Gee, I wonder why I've started gaining weight so rapidly...

[boolean]

Dear Morts,

Are you aware of the etymology of phrases such as "Oh Geeze" (http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=jeez)?


Just curious.

[west3man]

Dear Morts,

Are you aware of the etymology of phrases such as "Oh Geeze" (http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=jeez)?


Just curious.
S'a good'un.

[Typo Lad]

Dear Morts,

Are you aware of the etymology of phrases such as "Oh Geeze" (http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=jeez)?


Just curious.

Yerah, and a lot of people give me heat for using it.

It's a habit I picked up before I knew the meaning. Hard to break.

I won't sah "Gosh" though. Look that 'un up!

[fly on the wall]

Yerah, and a lot of people give me heat for using it.

It's a habit I picked up before I knew the meaning. Hard to break.

I won't sah "Gosh" though. Look that 'un up!

Gosh comes from God.

Geeze is a euphemism for Jesus.

[fly on the wall]

I just thought of another great question for Morts!

Which non-Kosher dish are you most tempted to eat?

(The first temptation of Morts.)

[Typo Lad]

Gosh comes from God.

go's ashes, actually. And since G-d's non corporial, many Jews find it to be a blashphemous utterance.

Geeze is a euphemism for Jesus.

Yes dearie, we established that via Boolean's link. As I said, I began using that term at a very young age. It was only later in life that I leanred what it meant. I've been trying to curb my use of it.

Of course, Jesus is just a name to me. It's sort of like saying "Oh BOB!"

Now saying, "Oh Christ" would be blasphemous...

[Typo Lad]

I just thought of another great question for Morts!

If by "great" you mean annoying, then you are right.

Which non-Kosher dish are you most tempted to eat?

I don't know, they all look so good!

Keep in mind fly, the point of Kosher isn't that non-Kosher foods are icky and gross. They look and smeel wonderful. We just can't eat it, because we have a Covenant with G-d.

With the emergence of soy alternatives, I can really get just about any "treif" taste I want. Morningstar Farms (http://www.naturaltouch.com/brand/msfo/) makes a wonderful line of meat-alternatives that taste just like beef. I have it on good authoristy that the sausage patties are just like the real thing. If so, then pig is GOOD eating, mi amigo. My idea of a wonderful breakfast is some soy patties, fresh biscuts, and some tomato gravy. Mmmm-mmm.

So the answer my friend, is none.

(The first temptation of Morts.)

That would have been Becky Ganz, 7th grade.

[Karl J. Barnes]

A follow-up to Fly's question. Have you ever eaten non-Kosher food?

[west3man]

Keep in mind fly, the point of Kosher isn't that non-Kosher foods are icky and gross. They look and smeel wonderful. We just can't eat it, because we have a Covenant with G-d.

So, does this line remind anyone else of one of the Rocky flicks? Maybe the second, but I'm leaning toward the first.

[Typo Lad]

So, does this line remind anyone else of one of the Rocky flicks? Maybe the second, but I'm leaning toward the first.

You know, I have never seen those flicks.

Care to elaborate?

[Karl J. Barnes]

So, does this line remind anyone else of one of the Rocky flicks? Maybe the second, but I'm leaning toward the first.

I think, the first one too. When Rocky comes over to visit Paulie and his sister, Andrian(sp?) is cooking Paulie's dinner.

[Typo Lad]

A follow-up to Fly's question. Have you ever eaten non-Kosher food?

Why, what have people been telling you?

Seriously though, there was one time.

I am so veyr, very ashamed of this story.

I was a wee lad, I couldn't have been more than 5. Still, I was old enough to know better.

We were staying by some not-as-religious relatives. My folks went somewhere and it was just me and the matrearch of the clan. We went shopping.

In the cereal isle, she asked what I wanted.

I then bought, and later ate as soon as I got back to the house, a bowl of Lucky Charms.

My parents came home and saw it and sweetly explained to me that it was not kosher and I would have to give the rest to a non-Jewish child.

I was horrified.

Now, realistically, I was not old enough for this to be held against me. Still, I kept kicking myself for this one for YEARS.

I also once did not wait the full six hours between eating meat and dairy, but in my defence, I had forgotten that I had had a meat lunch.

That one also scarred me. For years I would not eat meat for lunch. I'd rather go hungry.

Got over that, eventually.

[west3man]

The one I was thinking of had Rocky trying to do a commercial, but he wasn't doing a great job reading the cue cards. It must've been for an after-shave or cologne product or something because he said something like, "...It makes me... smeel manely..."

The director had a fit and I bust a gut.

Yes, it was supposed to be "smell manly."

[Karl J. Barnes]

The one I was thinking of had Rocky trying to do a commercial, but he wasn't doing a great job reading the cue cards. It must've been for an after-shave or cologne product or something because he said something like, "...It makes me... smeel manely..."

The director had a fit and I bust a gut.

Yes, it was supposed to be "smell manly."

Then that would be Rocky 2.

[Tages]

That one also scarred me. For years I would not eat meat for lunch. I'd rather go hungry.

Got over that, eventually.
This inspired another question.

Dear Jew,

If a random Orthodox Jew and a random traditionalist Catholic sat down and had a Guilt-Off (sort of like a staring contest, but instead you have to convince the other person you have the bigger guilt complex), on which would you put your money?


Sincerely,
Koba

[west3man]

Then that would be Rocky 2.
Danke, my good man.

[Typo Lad]

If a random Orthodox Jew and a random traditionalist Catholic sat down and had a Guilt-Off (sort of like a staring contest, but instead you have to convince the other person you have the bigger guilt complex), on which would you put your money?


Hnh.

Random?

Too hard to say, it's a toss up.

[Tages]

Hnh.

Random?

Too hard to say, it's a toss up.
Morts vs. Jonathan Bogart, everyone! I'm taking bets.

[west3man]

Morts vs. Jonathan Bogart, everyone! I'm taking bets.
I dunno who that is* but my money's on Morts.




* I think I remember someone schooling me in another thread, but I don't remember the answer, right now.

[Tages]

I dunno who that is* but my money's on Morts.




* I think I remember someone schooling me in another thread, but I don't remember the answer, right now.
Bogart was the resident CBR Catholicism Enthusiast until about two weeks ago, IIRC, when he announced he was taking a break from it.

[Typo Lad]

Bogart's on a break? Again?

Dayum.

I love Jonathan. Seriously. He was the sole CBRer who got called the night I got engaged.

He'd win though.

[west3man]

Bogart was the resident CBR Catholicism Enthusiast until about two weeks ago, IIRC, when he announced he was taking a break from it.
Ahh. Thanks for the info. I think that rings a bell, actually.

Now I've gotta figure out who this non-CBRian person was that I was half-remembering.

[Tages]

Bogart's on a break? Again?
He's still posting on other subjects, he just said he needed to rest a bit from his role as The Catholic Guy on Comm.

And yes, he's a pretty cool guy.

[Typo Lad]

He's still posting on other subjects, he just said he needed to rest a bit from his role as The Catholic Guy on Comm.

"The Catholic Guy". Sounds like a rejected title for a Seth MacFarlane series...

And yes, he's a pretty cool guy.

Like ice.

[Tages]

"The Catholic Guy". Sounds like a rejected title for a Seth MacFarlane series...
Oh! Another question!

Have you seen the "Family Guy" episode "When You Wish Upon a Weinstein," and if so, what think you?

[Typo Lad]

Oh! Another question!

Have you seen the "Family Guy" episode "When You Wish Upon a Weinstein," and if so, what think you?

I downloaded it after it aired over-seas (in Germany, of all places). Still haven't seen the edited version.

I thought it was funny as heck. If it had been written by a Jewish guy, it might have aired. I bet some suit said "OMG! We can't have a Catholic writer end a song with 'even though they killed our lord'! Rather than request an edit, I'm going to ban it. You insensative bastard. Why, some of our advitsers are Jewish!"

[JeffreyWKramer]

Geeze is a euphemism for Jesus.

Keep in mind, though, that among one of the dominant cultures - Latino -Jesus is a common name. It might seem odd to non-Latino folk, but it's hard to regard the use of Jesus - or derivatives thereof - as disrespectful when Latinos are among the most-Christian of ethnicities.

[Nate C.]

Keep in mind, though, that among one of the dominant cultures - Latino -Jesus is a common name. It might seem odd to non-Latino folk, but it's hard to regard the use of Jesus - or derivatives thereof - as disrespectful when Latinos are among the most-Christian of ethnicities.

Yes, but when people proclaim "Jesus!" they don't mean Jesus Sanchez who lives down the street from me. They mean the Carpenter, circa 1 +/- A.D.

And as antithetical as this would seem to Morts, Christians see the misuse of the name "Jesus" (and derivatives) the same way he sees the misuse of the name "God" what with the commandment against using the Lord's name in vain and all.

[Typo Lad]

And as antithetical as this would seem to Morts, Christians see the misuse of the name "Jesus" (and derivatives) the same way he sees the misuse of the name "God" what with the commandment against using the Lord's name in vain and all.

Doesn't seem antithetical as all; Self is capable of putting self's feet in someone else's shoes. Is why self is trying to stop.

[DarkBlade]

... I think Morts has been reading too much of the old New Mutants books.

[Typo Lad]

... I think Morts has been reading too much of the old New Mutants books.

Self just needed a break from talking like Hulk.

[JeffreyWKramer]

Self just needed a break from talking like Hulk.
You could always imitate Lockheed instead. ;)

[Typo Lad]

You could always imitate Lockheed instead. ;)


You mean talk in couplets?

Or did you not read that issue of Excalibur?

[fly on the wall]

go's ashes, actually. And since G-d's non corporial, many Jews find it to be a blashphemous utterance.



Yes dearie, we established that via Boolean's link. As I said, I began using that term at a very young age. It was only later in life that I leanred what it meant. I've been trying to curb my use of it.

Of course, Jesus is just a name to me. It's sort of like saying "Oh BOB!"

Now saying, "Oh Christ" would be blasphemous...

Boolean link? It's kind of obvious so why bother whatever Boolean link is.

There are lots of euphemisms for Jesus:

Jeez o flip.

Cheezoflip.

Cheese and Crackers.

Jiminy Christmas.

Jiminy Crickets.

Jiminy Crickets and Diamonds.

Wee Doggies.

Wee Doggies and little catfish.

Jehosephat.

I'm sure there are many others by Jiminy.

[JeffreyWKramer]

You mean talk in couplets?

Or did you not read that issue of Excalibur?

I rarely read EXCALIBUR, so, no, I didn't know that one. Seeing you do the couplet thing would be cool, though, so go for it.

Better yet, why not emulate the Moore/Grant version of Etrigan??

[Typo Lad]

I rarely read EXCALIBUR, so, no, I didn't know that one.

Volume 1. GREAT issue. Lockhead is on the verge of death and his psychic self is put on trial by his race. You learn that he was a soldier, one of ther heroes of his race, who ditched his crew and his fiance to run around with Kitty Pryde.

We also learn that his race speaks only in rhyme on formal occasions.

Seeing you do the couplet thing would be cool, though, so go for it.

I fear that my ability to write in verse has atrophied.
Lack of use, alas. A tragedy.

Better yet, why not emulate the Moore/Grant version of Etrigan??

You mean burn you alive and laugh at your death screams?

[JeffreyWKramer]

You mean burn you alive and laugh at your death screams?

That wasn't specific to the rhymer version of Etrigan. Hell, all the way back to Kirby, Etrigan *always* did that.

For some reason, this discussion reminds me of my all-time favorite Etrigan appearance, even above the Moore gems. In the "Man-Bat" strip which ran in later issues of BATMAN FAMILY, Etrigan and Man-Bat tangled with Morgan LeFay while Kirk Langstrom's wife was giving birth. Cool little story, with incredibly kick-ass Michael Golden art... Etrigan has *never* looked scarier.

[Dom]

Dear Jew,


Why do you have more money than me?

[Typo Lad]

Why do you have more money than me?

I do?

Wow.

You should see someone about a loan.

[Dom]

I do?

Wow.

You should see someone about a loan.

Should I see a Jewish banker?

[Typo Lad]

That wasn't specific to the rhymer version of Etrigan. Hell, all the way back to Kirby, Etrigan *always* did that.

Would you like me to try? I can arrange for you to fry. It won't be pleasent and it won't be fun, but I guess you can't please everyone.

For some reason, this discussion reminds me of my all-time favorite Etrigan appearance, even above the Moore gems. In the "Man-Bat" strip which ran in later issues of BATMAN FAMILY, Etrigan and Man-Bat tangled with Morgan LeFay while Kirk Langstrom's wife was giving birth. Cool little story, with incredibly kick-ass Michael Golden art... Etrigan has *never* looked scarier.

That sounds like quite the story, demon fan. Do you recall in which issues it ran?

[Typo Lad]

Should I see a Jewish banker?

See one with good interest rates.

Unless it's the First Bank of Vinnie. I don't recommend that one.

[Dom]

See one with good interest rates.

Unless it's the First Bank of Vinnie. I don't recommend that one.


Preach, brother.

I had a no collateral, 1000% interest loan from Salvatore's Financial.

Asshole broke my leg.

[JeffreyWKramer]

That sounds like quite the story, demon fan. Do you recall in which issues it ran?

Google-fu finds it...BATMAN FAMILY #17, 1978.

http://www.comics-db.com/comics/story.cgi?id=1013235&story=1

[Typo Lad]

Google-fu finds it...BATMAN FAMILY #17, 1978.

http://www.comics-db.com/comics/story.cgi?id=1013235&story=1

The ad on the bottom, for the website true,
Is making bits of my body blue!

Sounds like a great read, I'll hunt it down.
As soon as I get home I"ll be bittoorent bound.

[Tages]

I downloaded it after it aired over-seas (in Germany, of all places). Still haven't seen the edited version.

I thought it was funny as heck. If it had been written by a Jewish guy, it might have aired. I bet some suit said "OMG! We can't have a Catholic writer end a song with 'even though they killed our lord'! Rather than request an edit, I'm going to ban it. You insensative bastard. Why, some of our advitsers are Jewish!"
I thought it was inoffensive. Peter is a moron, he says stupid things all the time, and in particular a running gag is that he doesn't know anything about Christianity ("Christians don't believe in gravity").

[Super Hero Guy]

Dear Jew,

Why are Lucky Charms not kosher? They're magically delicious!

[Typo Lad]

I thought it was inoffensive. Peter is a moron, he says stupid things all the time, and in particular a running gag is that he doesn't know anything about Christianity ("Christians don't believe in gravity").

Best line ever:

Peter while buying a potty training book: Well, you see, we're Catholic.

"Ah, then you want you're a bad child and that's pure concentrated evil coming out of your buttock"

[Typo Lad]

Dear Jew,

Why are Lucky Charms not kosher? They're magically delicious!

Marshmallows are not Kosher. Not the kind used in cereals anyway.

[StoneGold]

I downloaded it after it aired over-seas (in Germany, of all places). Still haven't seen the edited version.

I thought it was funny as heck. If it had been written by a Jewish guy, it might have aired. I bet some suit said "OMG! We can't have a Catholic writer end a song with 'even though they killed our lord'! Rather than request an edit, I'm going to ban it. You insensative bastard. Why, some of our advitsers are Jewish!"
The exec producer might have been Catholic, but a good chunk of the writing staff is Jewish. And like the entire cast that isn't MacFarlane, at least once Mila Kunis replaced Lacey Chabert. And Alex Borstein was on the writing staff by that point.

Apparently, the issue pretty much came down to a line in the "I Need a Jew" song, "Even though they killed our lord." When the show did eventually air on Fox, that was the line that was cut. That and a reference to Quagmire wacking off.

[Super Hero Guy]

Dear Morts,

Are you actually a descendant of Abraham? ANd if someone just converts to Judaism do they get the same part in the covenant as actual descendants?

[Paul McEnery]

Marshmallows are not Kosher. Not the kind used in cereals anyway.
Marshmallows have hooves and yet do not chew the cud?

[Typo Lad]

The exec producer might have been Catholic, but a good chunk of the writing staff is Jewish. And like the entire cast that isn't MacFarlane, at least once Mila Kunis replaced Lacey Chabert. And Alex Borstein was on the writing staff by that point.

Mila Kunis is Jewish?

Oh sweet L-rd, and I thought Rena Sofer was reason enough to praise You...

Apparently, the issue pretty much came down to a line in the "I Need a Jew" song, "Even though they killed our lord." When the show did eventually air on Fox, that was the line that was cut.

Wusses. It was funny.

That and a reference to Quagmire wacking off.

Why this time?

[Typo Lad]

Are you actually a descendant of Abraham?

Genetically? No idea. Over the centuries, many people have converted to Judaism. Heck, even in Avraham's times, people converted and joined him. No way to tell.

Spiritually? I try.

ANd if someone just converts to Judaism do they get the same part in the covenant as actual descendants?

I should cede the floor to my wife on this. Short answer? Yes.

Long answer? A convert has all the same laws and requirements as a "born" Jew, except when it comes to marriage. Converts aren't allowed to marry males of the Priestly cast (Kohanim). They can, however, marry bastards, who can otherwise only marry another bastard.

This is a source of some anger to some.

[fly on the wall]

Dear Jew,


Why do you have more money than me?

Awwww!

Now you done it.

[Typo Lad]

Marshmallows have hooves and yet do not chew the cud?

We just had this discussion on another thread.

Kosher's more than just cud and hooves, my friend. Even certain parts of Kosher animals can't be eaten. Many of those parts are commonly used to render gelatin.

Plus, evenif one DID create a kosher gelatin from meat, and derived cereal-esque marshamallows from that.. well, putting it in milk would be mixing milk and meat. No-no.

There's a line of kosher gelatin made from seaweed. Very good. Tastes the same. For some reason, no-one's used it for cereals.

[Dom]

Awwww!

Now you done it.


What?

It's not like we aren't all thinking that.

[Super Hero Guy]

Ok, so this thread made me remember this little essay I wrote a while back, about how Judaism and Christianity relate to each other. I'd like to see what an actual Jewish person thought of it. I tried to post it as an attachment but it was too large. Be forewarned, this is a rough copy that was never editted, and I tend to jump from subject to subject a lot:

Genesis is not only the beginning of the Bible, but also the telling of the beginning of time. In the well known creation story, however, God speaks in plural form, saying “we will do this” or “we will do that”. Some have explained that God was speaking to angels, but it specifically states that whoever the Lord is talking to is working with Him to complete creation and we know only God was the creator of life and the earth.

But, if you read the Gospel of John, it states in the first chapter that before the world was created, there was a being called The Word, who was with God and the same as God. This is obviously relating to Jesus if you read on. It says that God created all things with The Word.

Now, back to Genesis, on the first day God creates light. However, He only creates tun, or any star for that matter, on the fourth day. So what was this light from the first day? If you read on the same passage of John it goes on to call The Word the source of life, and The Light.

Obviously, this is figurative light. Notice that God was not using “we” until after He created light, and that it was the first thing he created. By now you can probably see what I'm getting at. It could be argued that this must be referring to literal light, as it says God separates it to create night and day.

But night and day are human invented concepts based on the patterns of the sun. There was at the time no sun, how could there be day or night? To answer this you must also remember that it states in the Bible that God created everything good and evil(some translations replace evil with chaos, but same basic idea.) The light God had just created was in fact the perfect image of what the human mind can make of the concept of pure goodness. At this time all that existed was God, for this image of goodness to be, there had to be a concept of evil for humans to understand goodness. The separation of night and day therefor is actually telling of the creation of the human concept of evil.

Now, God is perfect, which is why I say “human concept”. Nothing God has ever made was as powerful as Him and therefor not perfect. God already understood what good and evil was, but for humans to understand it needed some sort of superlative.

The Light, however, is pure good, but only God is pure good. The Light is not a separate entity from God, but rather an extension, so to say, of Him; they are one and the same. For this reason from this point on I will refer to them rather as the Father and the Son, which is a great lead way to go into the Trinity concept.

Nothing about the idea of a Holy Trinity contradicts anything said in the Jewish Scriptures. It does not say that there is more than one God, but only that God manifests Himself in three ways to mankind, the two already mentioned, and the Holy Spirit. The reason for this is simple, the Scriptures state that anyone who sees the Lord in His true form will die. Anyone who has ever spoken to the Lord during life saw Him in one of these three manifestations. He could appear in other forms, but He chooses not to.

By reading through the Old and New Testaments, it becomes clear that God is constantly revealing Himself slowly to mankind, through each of the Patriarchs, the Judges, the Kings, and especially the Prophets. This revelation will not stop until the very last day, when this world will be destroyed and the Messiah will bring the righteous to a “New Jerusalem” to live forever with God.

So, by this we know that Moses, the author of Genesis, already knew from God all about the nature of the Trinity. Yet he did not feel the need to explain what he was writing, he knew that the Messiah would come and by that people would one day understand what he was writing. Moses was of course the first to speak of a Messiah, though the idea did not become very mainstream until future events like the occupation by Greece, the exile to Babylon, and the occupation by Rome. These are just some of a series of attacks against God's Chosen People which sadly have not stopped to this day.

Why would God so hurt a people He loves so much? The Scriptures claim it was because they sinned. Is that too simple though? Everyone at that time excluding the people of Israel, and some descendants of Ishmael, were all worshiping false gods of their imagination, or possible by the trickery of Satan. Yet when the Israelites sinned God was severe in His punishments. It is because God has chosen the Israelites to reveal Him to the world. They had to be shaped up, so to speak, to be perfect to give example to the Gentiles.

As in the story of Job, the greatest man alive who never sinned, God allowed great punishment to be placed on him to see if he would blaspheme. So God too does with the Jews, because He loves them, and has faith that they will persevere with Him, and He also saves them. As God told Abraham, his descendants would form a great nation, and though there exists no great kingdom for them today, who can say God hasn't blessed them.

The Jews, however, have acquainted themselves with only God the Father, the classical image of an old man with a long beard, one who creates, who teaches, who we fear and respect and who punishes. But we are created in the image of God, only the image and have such complex personalities. The Lord cannot be just this caring but strict figure, how can He be less complex than humans?

That is what the Son plays into. While the Father is creation and teaching, the Son is about love and closeness. Of course this sort of aspect of God isn't lost on Jews. In fact, more than once in the Old Testament, it is documented of people speaking to some being called “the angel of the Lord”. Now, there are many angels mentioned throughout the Scriptures, but this one seems to be more important, and many times this term is used interchangeably with just God. Some scholars believe that this is in fact a pre-incarnate form of Jesus that God used in moments when it was more appropriate, like when telling Abraham not to sacrifice Isaac.

The Son is an appropriate name. It is of course not actually a “son”, it is the same as the Father and the Holy Spirit. By being called the Son, though, it becomes as if He were our brother with God the Father. The Son than becomes like an older brother, someone who we look up to and want to emulate, someone we have fun with, someone who tells us what we can't do but not a disciplinarian.

How good a figure to be the Messiah. Jews believe that the Messiah would come only to save them, but God's true plan was to have His truth spread throughout the world through the Jews. The Messiah will, however, come a second time, and at this time, the apocalypse, He will do as He promised and save the Jews.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. The folly of most of the traditional Jewish concepts of the anointed one was that they thought they could receive salvation from a mere man. But as it says in the book of Psalms, God is the Light and Salvation. God did come to the world in the form of a man, however, called Yeshua or Jesus, to further God's revelation plan that all people could know God. This was in of itself a very incredible thing: the Son, while still God, while still omnipotent and omniscient, became a person. He felt, struggled, pained and was tempted like a person. However, he never gave into temptation.

to be continued in another post cause this is too long

[Dom]

Genesis is not only the beginning of the Bible, but also the telling of the beginning of time. In the well known creation story, however, God speaks in plural form, saying “we will do this” or “we will do that”. Some have explained that God was speaking to angels, but it specifically states that whoever the Lord is talking to is working with Him to complete creation and we know only God was the creator of life and the earth.

But, if you read the Gospel of John, it states in the first chapter that before the world was created, there was a being called The Word, who was with God and the same as God. This is obviously relating to Jesus if you read on. It says that God created all things with The Word.

Now, back to Genesis, on the first day God creates light. However, He only creates tun, or any star for that matter, on the fourth day. So what was this light from the first day? If you read on the same passage of John it goes on to call The Word the source of life, and The Light.

Obviously, this is figurative light. Notice that God was not using “we” until after He created light, and that it was the first thing he created. By now you can probably see what I'm getting at. It could be argued that this must be referring to literal light, as it says God separates it to create night and day.

But night and day are human invented concepts based on the patterns of the sun. There was at the time no sun, how could there be day or night? To answer this you must also remember that it states in the Bible that God created everything good and evil(some translations replace evil with chaos, but same basic idea.) The light God had just created was in fact the perfect image of what the human mind can make of the concept of pure goodness. At this time all that existed was God, for this image of goodness to be, there had to be a concept of evil for humans to understand goodness. The separation of night and day therefor is actually telling of the creation of the human concept of evil.

Now, God is perfect, which is why I say “human concept”. Nothing God has ever made was as powerful as Him and therefor not perfect. God already understood what good and evil was, but for humans to understand it needed some sort of superlative.

The Light, however, is pure good, but only God is pure good. The Light is not a separate entity from God, but rather an extension, so to say, of Him; they are one and the same. For this reason from this point on I will refer to them rather as the Father and the Son, which is a great lead way to go into the Trinity concept.

Nothing about the idea of a Holy Trinity contradicts anything said in the Jewish Scriptures. It does not say that there is more than one God, but only that God manifests Himself in three ways to mankind, the two already mentioned, and the Holy Spirit. The reason for this is simple, the Scriptures state that anyone who sees the Lord in His true form will die. Anyone who has ever spoken to the Lord during life saw Him in one of these three manifestations. He could appear in other forms, but He chooses not to.

By reading through the Old and New Testaments, it becomes clear that God is constantly revealing Himself slowly to mankind, through each of the Patriarchs, the Judges, the Kings, and especially the Prophets. This revelation will not stop until the very last day, when this world will be destroyed and the Messiah will bring the righteous to a “New Jerusalem” to live forever with God.

So, by this we know that Moses, the author of Genesis, already knew from God all about the nature of the Trinity. Yet he did not feel the need to explain what he was writing, he knew that the Messiah would come and by that people would one day understand what he was writing. Moses was of course the first to speak of a Messiah, though the idea did not become very mainstream until future events like the occupation by Greece, the exile to Babylon, and the occupation by Rome. These are just some of a series of attacks against God's Chosen People which sadly have not stopped to this day.

Why would God so hurt a people He loves so much? The Scriptures claim it was because they sinned. Is that too simple though? Everyone at that time excluding the people of Israel, and some descendants of Ishmael, were all worshiping false gods of their imagination, or possible by the trickery of Satan. Yet when the Israelites sinned God was severe in His punishments. It is because God has chosen the Israelites to reveal Him to the world. They had to be shaped up, so to speak, to be perfect to give example to the Gentiles.

As in the story of Job, the greatest man alive who never sinned, God allowed great punishment to be placed on him to see if he would blaspheme. So God too does with the Jews, because He loves them, and has faith that they will persevere with Him, and He also saves them. As God told Abraham, his descendants would form a great nation, and though there exists no great kingdom for them today, who can say God hasn't blessed them.

The Jews, however, have acquainted themselves with only God the Father, the classical image of an old man with a long beard, one who creates, who teaches, who we fear and respect and who punishes. But we are created in the image of God, only the image and have such complex personalities. The Lord cannot be just this caring but strict figure, how can He be less complex than humans?

That is what the Son plays into. While the Father is creation and teaching, the Son is about love and closeness. Of course this sort of aspect of God isn't lost on Jews. In fact, more than once in the Old Testament, it is documented of people speaking to some being called “the angel of the Lord”. Now, there are many angels mentioned throughout the Scriptures, but this one seems to be more important, and many times this term is used interchangeably with just God. Some scholars believe that this is in fact a pre-incarnate form of Jesus that God used in moments when it was more appropriate, like when telling Abraham not to sacrifice Isaac.

The Son is an appropriate name. It is of course not actually a “son”, it is the same as the Father and the Holy Spirit. By being called the Son, though, it becomes as if He were our brother with God the Father. The Son than becomes like an older brother, someone who we look up to and want to emulate, someone we have fun with, someone who tells us what we can't do but not a disciplinarian.

How good a figure to be the Messiah. Jews believe that the Messiah would come only to save them, but God's true plan was to have His truth spread throughout the world through the Jews. The Messiah will, however, come a second time, and at this time, the apocalypse, He will do as He promised and save the Jews.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. The folly of most of the traditional Jewish concepts of the anointed one was that they thought they could receive salvation from a mere man. But as it says in the book of Psalms, God is the Light and Salvation. God did come to the world in the form of a man, however, called Yeshua or Jesus, to further God's revelation plan that all people could know God. This was in of itself a very incredible thing: the Son, while still God, while still omnipotent and omniscient, became a person. He felt, struggled, pained and was tempted like a person. However, he never gave into temptation.

Dear Jew,

Could you summarize this for me?

thanks

[MacQuarrie]

Interesting post, but the thread topic is 'Let's Play "Ask the Jew"!' Not "Let's preach!"

I don't see a question in there...

[StoneGold]

Why this time?
Probably because it was post-Janet Jackson. This was when Fox started airing Family Guy again to build up hype for the relaunch. Some of the airings got censored a little more than they originally were. Like Stewey had an ass crack blurred out. Although some of the episodes were aired before 9, so that might have had a bearing on the editing.

It is kind of funny though, that outside of MacFarlane played characters, the entire family is Jewish.

[Super Hero Guy]

For Jesus to appear as a man is crucial for many reasons. One, it shows people that God knows what they are going through (He already knew, of course, but now He was making it clear.) Two, it was to give us a perfect model as to how to act.

Jesus healed and preached and performed miracles, and while all of this was well and good it had a deeper meaning. Jesus needed great numbers of followers for His story to live on. If he did all he did, for example, but nobody ever recorded it in the form of the gospels, it would have been in vain.

The prophecies of the Old Testaments make it clear that the Messiah must suffer, die, and rise again. His pain was not only to take the punishment of sinners so that they may be forgiven, but also to show how much He was willing to endure for us. By shedding His blood He made a new covenant, this does erase the covenant of Abraham, that is everlasting, but it is possible to have more than one (remember, God had already made one with Noah for Abraham). By his dying, anyone who goes to the Son will not have to endure the punishment at the end of the age.

After rising again three days later the Son was no longer the man Jesus, he had assumed the perfect body which people had mistaken to be an angel, except now he had the scars of his punishment, to forever demonstrate His sacrifice. God's physical presence on Earth did not leave with the Son, He left with His disciples the Holy Spirit, the force of God within people.

So, because of Jesus billions of people have turned to worship what would have otherwise been known as just some obscure middle-eastern deity. By this Jesus fulfills the prophecy that Abraham's descadent would bless all the nations. (Jesus is a descendant of Abraham, it is stated in both the genealogies given by Matthew and Luke.) He is also a descendant of David by blood on His mother's side, and legally by His step-father's side.)

It is shortly after Jesus left that problems start arising. The early Christians (actually, they usually called themselves “The Poor”, “The Nazarenes”, or “Followers Of The Way”.) never had the slightest intentions of forming a religion completely separate from Judaism. Saul, later named Paul, was told to be a light to the Gentiles, however. So while he converted more of them, the Jews were becoming more defensive and saying that anyone who believed in Jesus was a blasphemer. So, unfortunately, they parted ways.

Another problem arose. The Christian church of Jerusalem headed by Peter and James was saying that gentiles converting had to be circumcised and keep kosher. During His life Jesus only ever said that keeping ritualistically clean wasn't more important to God than loving one another and serving the Lord. Paul, however, said that adults converting didn't have to do this. But Paul was a devout Jew who probably kept kosher his whole life. He thought Jesus would return in a matter of decades. He never imagined people he converted would have children and than go on to not have them circumcised and not teach them to keep kosher.

I, as a Catholic, do not keep kosher. I have thought about starting it, but I really probably don't know half the rules pertaining to it. Anyway, I am secured by the covenant of Christ as long as I keep His commandments, so I don't technically have to.

So, to finis this off, on the last day I believe the Son will return in all His glory. This time He had come for the Jews, and all the righteous people who accept them, be them Christian, Muslim, or whatever. Then, all the people of God, even those who had died, will live for eternity with the true form of God (the rules of the old universe won't apply anymore.)

[Wonder Bebs]

Okay, I think it'd be okay if I asked this one... it's been bugging me for ages now, and well, I figure Morts is best to gimme a good answer:

What would have happened if Superman were raised by Jewish parents? Would he have turned out the same or, very, very different?

[Tages]

Okay, I think it'd be okay if I asked this one... it's been bugging me for ages now, and well, I figure Morts is best to gimme a good answer:

What would have happened if Superman were raised by Jewish parents? Would he have turned out the same or, very, very different?
I can picture it now...

"But Mom..."
"Oh, now with the 'But Mom!' Too busy saving the world, not enough time even for his own mother..."

[LtMarvel]

wow...I never even thought about cereal marshmellows before...

[MacQuarrie]

For Jesus to appear as a man is crucial for many reasons....

Did you miss my earlier comment?

[Tages]

Did you miss my earlier comment?
[Star Trek]He doesn't care, Jim.[/Star Trek]

[JeffreyWKramer]

Did you miss my earlier comment?

Maybe he did misread the title as "preach at the Jew."

Or maybe the super hero he most emulates is G'nort.

[Dom]

Maybe he did misread the title as "preach at the Jew."

Or maybe the super hero he most emulates is G'nort.

Or...maybe HE IS JESUS!!

He's come to send us all the hell!!!

[StoneGold]

Okay, I think it'd be okay if I asked this one... it's been bugging me for ages now, and well, I figure Morts is best to gimme a good answer:

What would have happened if Superman were raised by Jewish parents? Would he have turned out the same or, very, very different?
He already was. At least four of them.

http://theages.superman.ws/Fifty/photo-1.jpg
http://www.quarterbin.net/img/tp2304.jpg
http://www.newsarama.com/DC/schwartz.jpg

[Typo Lad]

Could you summarize this for me?


Sorry, my eyes glazed over on the third line.

[Typo Lad]

Maybe he did misread the title as "preach at the Jew."

Or maybe the super hero he most emulates is G'nort.

Now, now. Freedom of speech, people.

Of course, i also have the freedom to skim and decide I'm not interested.

No offence meant, SHG.

[Typo Lad]

I can picture it now...

"But Mom..."
"Oh, now with the 'But Mom!' Too busy saving the world, not enough time even for his own mother..."

See, that would also work if the Kents were Italian Catholics.

[Typo Lad]

Okay, I think it'd be okay if I asked this one... it's been bugging me for ages now, and well, I figure Morts is best to gimme a good answer:

What would have happened if Superman were raised by Jewish parents? Would he have turned out the same or, very, very different?

Well, while it seems like a silly question, it brings to mind the recent Secret Society of Superheroes Elseworld, where Pa Kent is a Mason and so Clark becames obsessed with doing good in secret.

Much like "Can the Hulk beat Thor?", it depends on the writer. It also depends on what you mean by "Jewish". Orthodox? Well, then there's all sorts of interesting questions about using his powers on Shabbos - if he knows it's going to save a life, he can... but what if he's not certain...?

Chassidish? Well, forget that costume then! Come to think of it, Orthodoxy too.

It's an interesting excercise.

[Typo Lad]

It is kind of funny though, that outside of MacFarlane played characters, the entire family is Jewish.

I really never even thought of that.

[Typo Lad]

Interesting post, but the thread topic is 'Let's Play "Ask the Jew"!' Not "Let's preach!"

I don't see a question in there...

The question was there, but as a statement:

I'd like to see what an actual Jewish person thought of it.

And the answer is:

SHG, I'm sure you're a swell guy, but I'm not going to discuss the comparitive merits of my religion vs another or vice versa. The only goal of this thread is to be a place where people can ask questions that have "bugged" them ab out Judaism, not for me to say 'hey, my religion's the best!".

[fly on the wall]

Yes, but when people proclaim "Jesus!" they don't mean Jesus Sanchez who lives down the street from me. They mean the Carpenter, circa 1 +/- A.D.

And as antithetical as this would seem to Morts, Christians see the misuse of the name "Jesus" (and derivatives) the same way he sees the misuse of the name "God" what with the commandment against using the Lord's name in vain and all.

Thank you.

And to Kramer I say, "Nyah.....Nyah".

[Tages]

See, that would also work if the Kents were Italian Catholics.
"Italians are Jews with better food."-Tony Soprano

[Tommy]

Do Jews have sex or do they reproduce useing spores?

[Rallura]

Do Jews have sex or do they reproduce useing spores?

Have you not seen Suzannah?

[Typo Lad]

Have you not seen Suzannah?

In case not:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v399/typolad/my-bebe.jpg

And the answer is sex. Lots of it and with great passion.

[Nate C.]

Morts, I haven't said this before, but your wife looks exactly like my sister when she was around your wife's age.

Hair, eyes, smile, nose, everything.

And I always thought my sister was so beautiful. (so infer away)


My only real question for now, is did you explain the difference between Orthodox/Reformed/Etc. and did you say which one you are and why?

[Karl J. Barnes]

Did you have fun playing with a (I may spell this wrong so bare with me) Dreidel?

[Typo Lad]

Morts, I haven't said this before, but your wife looks exactly like my sister when she was around your wife's age

She was 21 in that picture, as I recall.

Hair, eyes, smile, nose, everything.

And I always thought my sister was so beautiful. (so infer away)[/quote]

Infer nothing, your sister is obviously a godess amungst women.

My only real question for now, is did you explain the difference between Orthodox/Reformed/Etc.

I don't. It confuses the heck out of me.

Seriously though.

Orthjodox Jews, believe in keeping the Torah in it's entirety. Modern Orthodoxy is the sdame, but they tend to be more involved in the rest of the world. There's also Yeshivish Orthodox, which is a different social strata than I move in. Others in my family do, however.

Conservative and Reform Judiasm both are offshoots that felt it nessecary to make changed to "modernize" the faith. Things like the laws of Sabbath are seen more as guidelines under this. One, and I forget which, focuses on Social Justice.

and did you say which one you are and why?

Modern Orthodox. I believe the Torah was given at Sinai and that my sould was there and I agreed to accept it's precepts. I believe that G-d created man in man's image, expecting me to live up to my own standards. I believe that I have free will and might fail at that, but that G-d will fogrive me if I try harder.

As for why... well, not to be insulting, but Reform/Conservate/Reconstructionist teachings come off as wishy-washy and apologist, whereas Chassidic and Yeshivish teachings tend to emphasise medium over message. I'm basically in the middle.

[Tommy]

About Jewish Superheros....

Who is hotter Kitty Pryde or Sabra?

And which would you want bring home to your mother?

[Typo Lad]

Did you have fun playing with a (I may spell this wrong so bare with me) Dreidel?

Did I!

We'd play my dad for pennies. Afterwards though, the pennies all went back in the bag. All for fun.

I knew people in Junior High who gambled big money playing dreidel. Miss the point much, eh?

[DarkBlade]

We played dreidel at school, for chocolate coins...

[Typo Lad]

We played dreidel at school, for chocolate coins...

Milk or dark?

[Karl J. Barnes]

Milk or dark?

Can you have milk chocolate? Sorry to ask, but I really do get confused by the dietary elements.

[DarkBlade]

Hey, do you know/did you ever sing Hannukah's Child? Or is this just sung by public school choirs during the holiday season, looking for something besides the Dreidel song?

Who is the child in the window? Eyes so bright and face aglow, watching and waiting for chanukah... (More verse bit here that I do not recall...)

Oh this is chanukah's child, a child of wonder, chanukah's child, a child of hope, chanukah's child is the child in you and me...

[DarkBlade]

I think they were milk chocolate. I recall the word pareve on the label...

[Typo Lad]

Can you have milk chocolate? Sorry to ask, but I really do get confused by the dietary elements.

Sure.


Almost the entire Hershey's line is kosher. So's what's it called, Gehradelli? Good stuff.

[Typo Lad]

I think they were milk chocolate. I recall the word pareve on the label...

No dahlink, Milk Chocolate cannot be Pareve. Parve is nuetral, neither meat nor dairy.

It was dark chocolate.

Which is an Abomination.

[Typo Lad]

Hey, do you know/did you ever sing Hannukah's Child? Or is this just sung by public school choirs during the holiday season, looking for something besides the Dreidel song?

Who is the child in the window? Eyes so bright and face aglow, watching and waiting for chanukah... (More verse bit here that I do not recall...)

Oh this is chanukah's child, a child of wonder, chanukah's child, a child of hope, chanukah's child is the child in you and me...

Never have I heard of this!

And it sounds perfectly aweful.

Barenaked ladies did a really good Chanukah song.

And for the record, there are TONS of Chanukah songs. They're just in Hebrew so the dumbasses in Madison Avenue can't market them.

[Patient Boy]

Hey,

Are Oreos in the States kosher? I read somewhere that they weren't and I want to confirm in case I'm ever in the US again and I feel like taking a bite out of one.

[Gideon Quinn]

It's fun for me too. And it's making me think.

The whole Messiah concept is..confusing. For example, the battle at Megido that will herald the End Times according to Revelations? Well, according to the school of thought I subscribe to, that battle is a misreading of the battle between Babalonians and Egypt in the book of Jerimiah. it's read as Prophecy wheras it actually happened. It was a huge tragedy because the then king, whos name I forget, brought a golden age to Israel..King Josiah of Judah.

[DarkBlade]

It's actually a very pretty song, sort of a serene wistful one... but it does sort of strike me as one not actually used by anyone who's Jewish *L*

[DarkBlade]

No dahlink, Milk Chocolate cannot be Pareve. Parve is nuetral, neither meat nor dairy.

It was dark chocolate.

Which is an Abomination.
Then I didn't recall the word right, because I PROMISE you, it was not dark chocolate.

[Typo Lad]

Hey,

Aloha!

Are Oreos in the States kosher? I read somewhere that they weren't and I want to confirm in case I'm ever in the US again and I feel like taking a bite out of one.

Oreos have been Kosher for some time now. At least 6 years. They used to not be though.

I love when a brand becomes Kosher for the first time. People go insane. I was in High School when M&M/Mars decided to test the waters of the Jewish Market by making M&Ms kosher. You basically couldn't walk down the hall without seeing a M&M wrapper on the floor. The bodega across the street ran out.

Same thing when Oreos became Kosher. Just a massive surge.

Recently, Cheese-its got certified. Suzannah and her friends kept buying boxes. She finally realized she was being silly.

Me, I'm waiting for Nabisco to expand it;'s certification to E.L.Fudge. Those things look GOOD.

[Typo Lad]

King Josiah of Judah.

Thanks. I keep forgetting that.

[Grimly Fiendish]

Does Manichevitz have a monoply on all kosher and passover food?

Have you ever considering a hostile takeover of their company?

[Typo Lad]

Does Manichevitz have a monoply on all kosher and passover food?

Not hardly. THere's Striets, Golds, Pashkez (the only company dumb enough to make a candy called "winkies", Old City Cafe, Meal Mart, Kosherific...

It's a huge industry.

Have you ever considering a hostile takeover of their company?

No WAY.

Besides, except for Tam-Tams, most Manichevitz stuff sucks.

[Grimly Fiendish]

Not hardly. THere's Striets, Golds, Pashkez (the only company dumb enough to make a candy called "winkies"...



You said winkies. I'm giggling like a fricken school girl now...winkies...

[fly on the wall]

Aloha!



Oreos have been Kosher for some time now. At least 6 years. They used to not be though.

I love when a brand becomes Kosher for the first time. People go insane. I was in High School when M&M/Mars decided to test the waters of the Jewish Market by making M&Ms kosher. You basically couldn't walk down the hall without seeing a M&M wrapper on the floor. The bodega across the street ran out.

Same thing when Oreos became Kosher. Just a massive surge.

Recently, Cheese-its got certified. Suzannah and her friends kept buying boxes. She finally realized she was being silly.

Me, I'm waiting for Nabisco to expand it;'s certification to E.L.Fudge. Those things look GOOD.

Me, I'm waiting for pork chops in onion gravy to get Kosher certification. Oy Gevalt!

[Typo Lad]

Me, I'm waiting for pork chops in onion gravy to get Kosher certification. Oy Gevalt!

My dad likes to joke that so many "big" brands have become Kosher, he's waiting for Boar's Head to get certified.

The punchline? 4 years ago Boar's Head came out with a line of condiments.

And they're Kosher.

[Tages]

Dear Jew,

This thread as of the writing of this post had 666 replies. Tell me, what's it like to serve Satan?

[Typo Lad]

Dear Jew,

This thread as of the writing of this post had 666 replies. Tell me, what's it like to serve Satan?

You must have someone on ignore or something. I counted 668.

And 666 has no basis in Jewish Thought. It's strictly an add-on.

[west3man]

You must have someone on ignore or something. I counted 668.
Was that a joke, too, or did you not consider that he probably posted that when it WAS 666... TWO posts earlier than his?

[StoneGold]

Me, I'm waiting for pork chops in onion gravy to get Kosher certification. Oy Gevalt!
There's a place that opened up near my parent's house, and I know this sounds like the punchline to a joke, but Jeff's Kosher Sausages. It's basically like a Jody Maroni's at the mall, except better, because they make all the meat themselves. Pretty damn tasty, actually. Anyways, all the ultra-observant types went absolutely nuts for the place, just for the concept of being allowed to eat sausages. I just think the place is surprisingly tasty.

[Typo Lad]

Was that a joke, too, or did you not consider that he probably posted that when it WAS 666... TWO posts earlier than his?

I considered it, then I saw that his post was well over an hour older than #667. Means it was pretty hard for him to miss it.

Timestamps are cool stuff.

[Typo Lad]

There's a place that opened up near my parent's house, and I know this sounds like the punchline to a joke, but Jeff's Kosher Sausages.

PLEASE tell me that they have a Fallafel Ball & Sausage platter!

It's basically like a Jody Maroni's at the mall, except better, because they make all the meat themselves. Pretty damn tasty, actually. Anyways, all the ultra-observant types went absolutely nuts for the place, just for the concept of being allowed to eat sausages. I just think the place is surprisingly tasty.

You know, you CAN make Kosher Beef Sausage, right?

Seriously though, can you find out who certifies it?

[StoneGold]

You know, you CAN make Kosher Beef Sausage, right?

Seriously though, can you find out who certifies it?
I figure you can, since that's basically what a Hebrew National hot dog is. The trick here though is marketing the thing not as Jeff's Really Fancy Kosher Hot Dogs, but Jeff's Kosher Sausages. It's the implication of naughtiness, even if it is made with all beef/turkey/chicken/lamb parts. Like playing fantasy sex games with the wife. Sure, she may not actually be a Saigon whore, but that's no reason you can't, much like the world of Muppet Babies, use your imagination to believe she's a Saigon whore.



Wow, never thought I'd use Muppet Babies and Saigon whore in the same sentence.

[Typo Lad]

I figure you can, since that's basically what a Hebrew National hot dog is.

Ironically, I've yet to meet a Jew who holds by the certification used by Hebew National (and now Ballpark). They must be out there, though, or they'd have lost a lot of business.

The trick here though is marketing the thing not as Jeff's Really Fancy Kosher Hot Dogs, but Jeff's Kosher Sausages. It's the implication of naughtiness, even if it is made with all beef/turkey/chicken/lamb parts.

And what those parts are, you don't wanna know.

Like playing fantasy sex games with the wife.

Why do you mention that? What has she been telling you?

Sure, she may not actually be a Saigon whore, but that's no reason you can't, much like the world of Muppet Babies, use your imagination to believe she's a Saigon whore.

Wow, never thought I'd use Muppet Babies and Saigon whore in the same sentence.

"Today on a Very Special Episode..."

[Dreadstar]

Wow, never thought I'd use Muppet Babies and Saigon whore in the same sentence.

Yeah, I haven't done that in like.... 3 or 4 days.


I must be gettin old.

BTW: Speaking of gravy earlier. Do you just use water and flour to make gravy? I usually use milk or cream, but you wouldn't be allowed to do that, would you?

[Tages]

I considered it, then I saw that his post was well over an hour older than #667. Means it was pretty hard for him to miss it.

Timestamps are cool stuff.
Nope, that's the number of posts. I said the number of replies. :D

[LtMarvel]

Dear Jew,

This thread as of the writing of this post had 666 replies. Tell me, what's it like to serve Satan?
666=Nero, not Satan. Nero was feeding Christians to the lions, etc. So the Christians converted Nero's name to number and called it the mark of the beast, kind of a subversive counter propaganda campaign.

[Typo Lad]

I must be gettin old.

I didn't know that was in doubt.

[quote[BTW: Speaking of gravy earlier. Do you just use water and flour to make gravy? I usually use milk or cream, but you wouldn't be allowed to do that, would you?[/QUOTE]

My mom uses straight turkey juice, with nothing to thicken it. Suzannah uses flour and a touch of non-dairy creamer. It has to be the right brand though. A few of those are nasty.

Well, they all are if you read what's in them.

[Tages]

666=Nero, not Satan. Nero was feeding Christians to the lions, etc. So the Christians converted Nero's name to number and called it the mark of the beast, kind of a subversive counter propaganda campaign.
That wasn't really a serious question...

[Typo Lad]

Nope, that's the number of posts. I said the number of replies. :D

Ahhhh. Zo I Zee. Zorry.

But still, no bearing.

[Typo Lad]

666=Nero, not Satan. Nero was feeding Christians to the lions, etc. So the Christians converted Nero's name to number and called it the mark of the beast, kind of a subversive counter propaganda campaign.

The art of converting name to numbers is called Gematriah. Mark Waid tried to be clever in "Underworld Unleashed" and have The Fiddler comment that the Gematriah of Neron was 666. He also attributed 666 to the "ancient Hebrews".

That said, if working from the standard system of Gematriah, I can find no way that Neron comes out to 666.

As for Nero, I do not know the system for any language other than Hebrew, and I suspect the ones who did that were working in Latin.

[BoosterBronze]

The art of converting name to numbers is called Gematriah. Mark Waid tried to be clever in "Underworld Unleashed" and have The Fiddler comment that the Gematriah of Neron was 666. He also attributed 666 to the "ancient Hebrews".

That said, if working from the standard system of Gematriah, I can find no way that Neron comes out to 666.

As for Nero, I do not know the system for any language other than Hebrew, and I suspect the ones who did that were working in Latin.

The numerical interpretation of Nero as 666 is one of several popular theories, I don't have it on hand, but I beleive there's a whole section on it in "Desire of the Everlasting Hills" by popular historian Thomas Cahill. Interesting read.

Also, Gematriah is one of the basis for the conspiracy theory that the Knights Templar were Goddess worshippers. Fun stuff.

EDIT: I could be wrong about the book. I'll check when I get home.

[MacQuarrie]

You must have someone on ignore or something. I counted 668.

And 666 has no basis in Jewish Thought. It's strictly an add-on.
Well, sorta.

"6" is supposed to be the number that represents man, since he was created on the sixth day.

In Christian thought, "3" is supposed to represent God, based on the idea of the Trinity.

Put the two together and it's Man claiming to be God. The historic antecedent of this is Antiochus Epiphanes, who desecrated the temple by sacrificing a pig to himself there.

Short version, "666" is extrapolated from jewish thought, but "666" does not mean Satan. It means "antichrist" or false Messiah.

[DarkBlade]

Actually new evidence is indicating that number is supposed to be, what, 612, I think?

[Typo Lad]

Actually new evidence is indicating that number is supposed to be, what, 612, I think?

616. Just like the Marvel Universe.

In other news, Theologins discover that there are, in fact, 7 Hells.

[Dreadstar]

616. Just like the Marvel Universe.

In other news, Theologins discover that there are, in fact, 7 Hells.

Oh man, next thing you know, the devil is going to be described as "lawful evil."

[west3man]

I considered it, then I saw that his post was well over an hour older than #667. Means it was pretty hard for him to miss it.

Timestamps are cool stuff.
Still doesn't add up to me, but you two seem to understand each other. That's what matters.

[Typo Lad]

Still doesn't add up to me,

Okay, it's like this:

He said 666 REPLIES. My brain parsed it as 666 POSTS. His was the 668's post, meaning it was the 667 reply, meaning when he looked at the thread, there were 666 replies to my one post (666+1 being 667).

And then, suddenly, Mort's keyboard began dripping blood...

but you two seem to understand each other.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK. YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!!!

[Super Hero Guy]

Dear Morts,

why are Jewish mothers so overbearing?

Signed,

me.

[MacQuarrie]

Dear Morts,

why are Jewish mothers so overbearing?

Signed,

me.
According to Dan Greenburg, "jewish mother" is a state of mind. An italian barber or irish cop can be a de facto "jewish mother" if they have the temperament for it.

[Dom]

Dear Jew,

Do you try to get everything for free?

[Slam_Bradley]

Oh man, next thing you know, the devil is going to be described as "lawful evil."


But are their 666 planes of the Abyss?

[Karl J. Barnes]

But are their 666 planes of the Abyss?

Looks like it is time to get out my D&D Monster Manuel.

[Nitmo]

Dear Jew

Do all Jews have rage issues?

[fly on the wall]

Who's the jewiest? Bert or you?

[LtMarvel]

hmmm Are Wendy's Frosties ok? Because they are free this weekend!

[bert]

Who's the jewiest? Bert or you?

He's WAY "Jewier"

but I'm still prettier and homo-sexier

[Typo Lad]

why are Jewish mothers so overbearing?


Please see post #691 by Dr. James MacQuarrie. The Jewish Mother phenomina is just trying to make the Overbearing Mom thing into an Ethnic thing.

Here, some Jewish Mother (http://judaism.about.com/library/2_humor/bldef-joke_jewishmothers.htm) jokes.

For the record, Jewish Mother comments are as offensive to Jewish Mothers as Blond Jokes are to Blonds.

My mother only became a "Jewish Mother" when the grandkids started coming.

[Typo Lad]

Dear Jew,

Do you try to get everything for free?

Yes, but that has nothing to do with being a Jew. That has more to do with being broke.

If someone gets a new gadget, my first reflex is to ask what they intend to do with the old one.

Suzannah hates my first reflex...

[Typo Lad]

Do all Jews have rage issues?

Suprisingly, I know a LOT of repressed Jews.

Either that, or I just tend to piss people off.

[Typo Lad]

Who's the jewiest? Bert or you?

I hear tell that bert is like a Mento: hard on the outside, but jewy on the inside.

Seriously though, it's not a contest.

He can actually grow facial hair though...

[Typo Lad]

hmmm Are Wendy's Frosties ok? Because they are free this weekend!

Alas, no. Which sucks, because they look awesome.

I would love if someone made a Kosher Dairy Queen or something. I have to see if there's a Kosher Carvel near me. Doubtful. Found one in Brooklyn though. There used to be one up the block from me.

Fun Kosher Fact: Despite the fact that Friendly's Resteraunts are as non-Kosher as you can get, the Ice Cream line you find in your freezer section is kosher (and VERY good!).

[The Dosadi Experiment]

When I grow up I want to become jewish, however I'm not all too fond of the idea of circumcision... can you ever possibly be an uncut jew?

[Typo Lad]

He's WAY "Jewier"

In what way, exactly? How do we measure this? How much foreskin was removed?

but I'm still prettier

Hey! I'm pretty! I'm very pretty!

I have to take a haircut and put up a picture.

I'm hot, damnit.

and homo-sexier

True. I only seem to attract the ladies, not the men.

Except for senior year in HS, when the guy behind me would drop his pen and ask me to pick it up. I was very flattered.

[Typo Lad]

When I grow up I want to become jewish, however I'm not all too fond of the idea of circumcision... can you ever possibly be an uncut jew?

Nope (at least, not to my knowledge). A Bris Meilah is symbolic of the covenant between Abraham and G-d and is a required "entry fee" if you will.

However, I have heard that when one converts there is a "symbolic" circuimcision option. NO idea what that entails.

Also, adult Circumsision is uisually performed in a hospital, by a doctor, these days.

Bris notes (http://www.jewfaq.org/birth.htm#Brit)

[The Dosadi Experiment]

Nope (at least, not to my knowledge). A Bris Meilah is symbolic of the covenant between Abraham and G-d and is a required "entry fee" if you will.

However, I have heard that when one converts there is a "symbolic" circuimcision option. NO idea what that entails.

Also, adult Circumsision is uisually performed in a hospital, by a doctor, these days.

Bris notes (http://www.jewfaq.org/birth.htm#Brit)

Can't I just give up a toe? Or my appendix?

[Patient Boy]

Foreskin is overrated.

[Typo Lad]

Can't I just give up a toe? Or my appendix?

Heh.

Let me begin by ammending my previous post: Apprantly it CAN'T be done by a doctor. Although I know more than a few doctors who are Mohels, which may be how this is worked around...

Think of it from a cultural standpoint: In Abrahamic times, you made oaths on "your children". The Covenant between G-d and Abraham is that the children of Abraham will be as many as the stars in the heavens and the sand at the beach. What better symbol of this oath than the means through which that oath would be carried out?

Here's a web article that might interest you:

So You Wanna Be a Jew... (http://www.soyouwanna.com/site/syws/judaism/judaism.html)

[Typo Lad]

Foreskin is overrated.

Better ventilation without it anyway.

Or so I hear.

[The Dosadi Experiment]

Think of it from a cultural standpoint: In Abrahamic times, you made oaths on "your children". The Covenant between G-d and Abraham is that the children of Abraham will be as many as the stars in the heavens and the sand at the beach. What better symbol of this oath than the means through which that oath would be carried out?



Actually if I look at it from a cultural standpoint I see something completely different from an oath to a deity