Let's Play "Ask The Jew"!

[RubinCompServ]

Partially true, StoneGold. The metaphysical Gehenim (note the "im" -stupid transliterations) is the concept of "Hell". Judiasm doesn't believe in an endless Hell. Rather, there's a maximum of 12 months to "clense" the soul, then you go to heaven. Unless you suck. Then you don't get to go to Gehenim, and have to go back and be reincarnated until you don't suck too much.

Some souls get some sort of perminant wiping out (truly evil) according to some, but I have no idea how that gets quanified.


The levels of "goodness" are rewarded as follows:
1) go straight to Heaven (Good guys!)
2) go to Hell for up to 12 months and then go to heaven
3) get reincarnated to become good enough to go to Hell (for up to 12 months, etc)
4) Get wiped out. Do not go to Hell, do not collect $200 (Bad guys!)

Obviously, it's impossible to know how to quantify the various levels, and how "goodness" is calculated.

[StoneGold]

Obviously, it's impossible to know how to quantify the various levels, and how "goodness" is calculated.

With a D20 roll.

[RubinCompServ]

With a D20 roll.

That must be in v3. Back in the v1 days, we used 2d4.

;)

[Angelus II]

The levels of "goodness" are rewarded as follows:
1) go straight to Heaven (Good guys!)
2) go to Hell for up to 12 months and then go to heaven
3) get reincarnated to become good enough to go to Hell (for up to 12 months, etc)
4) Get wiped out. Do not go to Hell, do not collect $200 (Bad guys!)

Obviously, it's impossible to know how to quantify the various levels, and how "goodness" is calculated.

So, everyone going to Hell for up to 12 months and then go to heaven.

And the bad people just get wiped out.

I'm in.

[Alex Scott]

Just remember the following rules:

Worship only one God.
Support a system of justice.
No blasphemy.
No killing.
No stealing.
No committing adultery.
No drinking blood.

I think that covers it for Gentiles. That and whatever your own religion has. But seriously, don't drink blood.

[Typo Lad]

No blood or limbs off live animals, and no adultery or incest... still, nice job.

[Angelus II]

Dear Jew,

What makes a person Jewish?

[Typo Lad]

Having a Jewish mother or converting (http://www.soyouwanna.com/site/syws/judaism/judaism.html).

Once you're "in", even if you deny it all, you can never be "out". You can be a "bad" Jew, but you'll always be one.

[Paradox]

Judaism is like the MAFIA????? :eek:

[Typo Lad]

Judaism is like the MAFIA????? :eek:
I was waiting for that comparison the moment after I hit "Post Quick Reply".

In a sense, maybe.

It explains why Murder Inc. and the Mafia worked so well together, doesn't it?

[Paradox]

If it's good enough for Lucky and Mayer... :)

[Puma]

Once you're "in", even if you deny it all, you can never be "out". You can be a "bad" Jew, but you'll always be one.

When you're a Jew,
You're a Jew all the way
From your first B'rit milah
To your last dyin' day.

When you're a Jew,
If the spit hits the fan,
You got Chevra around,
You're a family man!

You're never alone,
You're never disconnected!
You're home with your own:
When the Ribono shel Olam is expected,
You're well protected!

Then you are a Jew
With a capital J,
Which you'll never undo
Till they cart you away.
When you're a Jew,
You stay a Jew!

[Typo Lad]

That your own?

[Puma]

That your own?

yup





too much coffee this morning.

[Typo Lad]

It's quite brilliant. You should always be this caffeinated.

I say this, not having to work with you...

[Puma]

It's quite brilliant. You should always be this caffeinated.

I say this, not having to work with you...

especially as Paul says I want to disembowel co-workers with a rusty chainsaw....





and, thank you.

[thespianphryne]

especially as Paul says I want to disembowel co-workers with a rusty chainsaw....

[....]

Chainsaw? Damn kids with their new fangled machines.


I remember when all you used was a blunt spoon.

[Puma]

Chainsaw? Damn kids with their new fangled machines.


I remember when all you used was a blunt spoon.
not as dramatic.

[RubinCompServ]

not as dramatic.

But it hurts more!

[StoneGold]

I was waiting for that comparison the moment after I hit "Post Quick Reply".

In a sense, maybe.

It explains why Murder Inc. and the Mafia worked so well together, doesn't it?

That, and Murder Inc. was half-Italian. It's just the Syndicate.

[Angelus II]

Having a Jewish mother or converting (http://www.soyouwanna.com/site/syws/judaism/judaism.html).

Once you're "in", even if you deny it all, you can never be "out". You can be a "bad" Jew, but you'll always be one.

So, if someone only got a Jewish father, than he/she isn't a Jew.

[Angelus II]

One of my Jewish freind mother pass away, so is my freind still a Jew.

[Puma]

One of my Jewish freind mother pass away, so is my freind still a Jew.

yes.





.

[Typo Lad]

So, if someone only got a Jewish father, than he/she isn't a Jew.

According to most, yes.

Some denominations take Patralinial descent, but that's a huge issue even within sects.

One of my Jewish freind mother pass away, so is my freind still a Jew.

Unless Superboy-Prime Retcon punched her womb, then yes, yes he is.

[Super Hero Guy]

And if Superboy-Prime DID retcon punch her womb?

[Angelus II]

And if Superboy-Prime DID retcon punch her womb?

Then the baby weren't be Jewish.

[Jack Tango]

Then the baby weren't be Jewish.

If Superboy Prime retcon punched the womb, the baby just wouldn't exist anymore.

Or it would become Jason Todd. One or the other.

I'm not sure which is worse...

Also, congratulations to Morty for the four year thread. Seriously, are there ANY other threads that have been going on this long, from the ORIGINAL post? Rita's doesn't count, due to multiple iterations...

[Jeff Brady]

Morty

Oh, don't call him that. It makes him angry. You wouldn't like it when he's angry.

[Angelus II]

If Superboy Prime retcon punched the womb, the baby just wouldn't exist anymore.

Or it would become Jason Todd. One or the other.

I'm not sure which is worse...

Also, congratulations to Morty for the four year thread. Seriously, are there ANY other threads that have been going on this long, from the ORIGINAL post? Rita's doesn't count, due to multiple iterations...

It won't be Jewish since it isn't kosher,right.

Jew can't have anything if it not kosher.

It one of those Jewish laws, right.

[Typo Lad]

Jack Tango is now dead to me.

[jessecuster3]

Jack Tango is now dead to me.

Is that all it takes Morty?

[Typo Lad]

Now you too, are Dead.

Dead dead dead.

[jessecuster3]

Now you too, are Dead.

Dead dead dead.

If I knew it was that easy, I am looking forward to hanging out during Mocca!

[Paradox]

Typo Lad notes my failing:http://forums.comicbookresources.com/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://forums.comicbookresources.com/showpost.php?p=6602551&postcount=3280)

Jack Tango is now dead to me.

I keep thinking that, too, but somehow he keeps getting out of the hole.

I think he's damned Rasputin reincarnated or something!

**goes to get the shovel again**

[Typo Lad]

To make it all Jewy... Maimonodies teaches that calling someone a name other than their own, particularly if they object to it, is a sublte form of murder. You're denying the existance of the person as they see themselves.

[Paradox]

Wait...to reverse it, does that mean if you don't give her your real name, it doesn't count? :D

[jessecuster3]

To make it all Jewy... Maimonodies teaches that calling someone a name other than their own, particularly if they object to it, is a sublte form of murder. You're denying the existance of the person as they see themselves.

But isn't Morty effectively your real name, or is that maybe Mordy?

[Paradox]

Technically, we should be using Mordechai, but that always brings to my mind some 19th century Dickensian Fagin type or something. :)

[jessecuster3]

Technically, we should be using Mordechai, but that always brings to my mind some 19th century Dickensian Fagin type or something. :)

Every Mordechai that I have known goes by Mort, or Morty. But if I know it rubs him the wrong way guess what I will go with... :evilsmile

[Typo Lad]

I hate all nicknames ending in "ee". Just grating.

My friends call me Morts.

Jesse, you can call me Mordechai.

[jessecuster3]

I hate all nicknames ending in "ee". Just grating.

My friends call me Morts.

Jesse, you can call me Mordechai.

Whatever you say Morty.

[Paradox]

Typo Lad doesn't like the name:

I hate all nicknames ending in "ee". Just grating.

I can relate. Intentional diminutives on adults' names always smacks of insult to me.

But then again, I don't even like Steve because of the long nasal whine.

[Dreadstar]

I can relate. Intentional diminutives on adults' names always smacks of insult to me.

You just hate it because you can't pull-off "Stevie."

[Paradox]

No, sadly the 'tother way 'round. I still look like a child, just with wrinkles and less hair. Bad enough not to "look like a man" without that appellation hung on me.

[StoneGold]

I hate all nicknames ending in "ee". Just grating.

My friends call me Morts.

Jesse, you can call me Mordechai.

Mortsalah?

[Typo Lad]

Mortsalah?
You callin' me chicken?

[StoneGold]

You callin' me chicken?

Baxter, you know I don't speak Spanish!


But in answer to your question...


http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c202/Radi-Kyle/biff1.jpg

[Jack Tango]

Oh, don't call him that. It makes him angry. You wouldn't like it when he's angry.

Why do you think I called him that? He always hated Morty. Prefers "Morts." I know this routine. :-)

[Jack Tango]

I keep thinking that, too, but somehow he keeps getting out of the hole.

I think he's damned Rasputin reincarnated or something!

**goes to get the shovel again**

Someone finally figured it out.

*takes your bullets to the chest, shrugs them off*

Keep it comin'!

[Super Hero Guy]

Dear Typo Lad,

did Ziporah ever convert to Judaism? If not, how do you explain Moses, the quintessential Jew, marrying outside the faith?

[Angelus II]

You callin' me chicken?

Mortsalah mean chicken. Need to write that down.

[Typo Lad]

Mortsalah mean chicken. Need to write that down.

Um, no. Chicken would be Tarnigol. "Mortsalah" was a pun on "Marsala", a type of wine used for an epinominous chicken dish.

Dear Typo Lad,

did Ziporah ever convert to Judaism? If not, how do you explain Moses, the quintessential Jew, marrying outside the faith?

Moshe married Tziporah prior to the giving of the Law, ergo it was a non-issue. However, there are rabbinic teachings that she did indeed convert, although not in the sense that one would have to go through today. She was already a monotheist, as her father was High priest of Midyan, which was a Mouthiestic faith.

[Paradox]

Angelus II linguisticates:

Mortsalah mean chicken. Need to write that down.

I always thought it was an irreverent comedian popular in the '60s. ;)

[RubinCompServ]

I always thought it was an irreverent comedian popular in the '60s. ;)

You're thinking of Mason.

[Puma]

You're thinking of Mason.

not Mort Sahl?

[Typo Lad]

Rubin, you go to your room right now!

[Paradox]

Puma gets it in one:

not Mort Sahl?

Exactly. I don't think I'd call Jackie Mason "irreverent" or "a comedian".

[beetlebum]

Dear Jew:

I meant to ask this last week, but this little thing called life got in the way.

(Well, mainly just school, and not to mention giving support to a friend who is in an abusive relationship.....)

But anyways; as of late, I've been reading about linguistics, and, as I was browsing online, I came across an interview Ghil'ad Zuckermann gave to Lingua Franca, back in 2006.

I don't know how familiar you are with the works of Ghil'ad Zuckermann--but he did say some pretty interesting things during his interview, including this:


Jill Kitson: Now you talk about etymythology, but you also talk about lexical engineering. And I wondered if one reason for your using this is because we're all now so familiar with the term 'genetic engineering'. So are there similarities?

Ghil'ad Zuckermann: Yes, I believe that lexical engineering is a micro-cosmos of genetic engineering. So when I discuss in my other research, the genetic engineering in the case of the Israeli language, the fact that Yiddish speaking revivalists arrived in Israel in the fin-de-siecle, the end of the 19th century, and tried to revive a language which was no longer spoken. It was a Sleeping Beauty or a Walking Dead if you want. What they did was genetic engineering, because they really wanted to speak like Isaiah. The interesting stuff is that they could not get rid of their mother tongues, for example, Yiddish, and therefore it's semi-genetic engineering, it's semi-engineering. But engineering or this conscious language planning, is a very important part of language. I mean language is not only a natural development, because people, humans, have their own ideologies, they have their own politics etc.

Jill Kitson: Because Israeli relies upon the vocabulary of ancient Hebrew, the language of the Old Testament, of these ancient religious texts, it means that words in ordinary, everyday use in Israel are religiously charged. So does this mean that people feel this charge?

Ghil'ad Zuckermann: You've touched upon a most fascinating and multifaceted element of Israeli. Israeli, after all, has dozens of secularised religious terms. So for example, in the Declaration of Independence there is a word bitahon which currently means 'security', 'defence', 'sala bitahon' is the Minister of Security. But obviously in the past, 'bitahon' meant something like 'faith'. It was much more spiritual. And therefore when religious people read the Declaration of Independence, they understand it differently from the way secular Israelis understand it. And it's much more complicated because when you take your car to fix it, you take it for a ticoon. 'Ticoon' means 'fixing' like 'fixing a car'. But 'ticoon' in spiritual Judaism has a much more charged spiritual meaning of refinement of the word etc, etc. So I believe these words, these secularised words might one day have lexical vendetta, if you want.


So, there's two questions for you; the first of which being do you think that lexical engineering is a micro-cosmos of genetic engineering, as he said?

And second, what do you think about the fact that words that were once religious in nature have now been secularised? Do you think that the (secularisation) devalues them, or do you view it as being a natural part of the evolution of language?

Grazie in advance. :smile:

[Typo Lad]

I wrote a whole long response, then lost it.

Firstly, never heard of this guy, and I am not a linguist. I barely manage English some days. Still, a lot of what he says is going over my head.

Also, it's weird to see it called "Israeli". Modern Hebrew is called "Ivrit". I guess that technically translated to "Israeli" but it seems odd. I suppose Gewrmans feel the same way about seeing Duetch called "German".

Ivrit is, obviously, based on Ancient Hebrew. They use the same roots, same grammatical rules, etc (except where Ivrit 'borrows" from English). However, many of the meanings are different, be they due to idiom or just odd choices. Heck, even in Ancient Hebrew, words can have multiple meanings. Just the other night I was explaining to my first grader that yes, "nefesh" means soul but in the context of the verse we were learning it meant 'being". Modern Hebrew has a lot less of this.

As for inherent religiousness, the bit of Ancient Hebrew we have is commonly called Lashon HaKodesh, or "The Holy Language". It's not the same as a trade language or street language. It's meant to be seperate. Still, it was the lingua-franca of ancient Israel, so I have no problem with it being used as the basis for a secular language.

Still, I think it's more a question of baggage. If you come into Ivrit knowing Lashon Hakodesh, then yes, the words will have that charge. If you come into it without that knowledge, the charge isn't there.

As for Yiddish, which the guy mentions - it's interesting, but my late grandfather was fond of pointing out that when he was a boy, Yiddish was a gutter language, something you never, ever spoke in a house of learning. Growing up on the lower East Side, saying "good morning" in Yiddish instead of English or Hebrew (pre-Ivrit) was a good way to get cuffed. Now, you're expected to at least know someYiddish in most US Yeshivot (Plural of Yeshiva - and it should be noted that that's a feminine plural. Love that), and many great, great Rabbonim would not allow Ivrit to be spoken in school!

[beetlebum]

I wrote a whole long response, then lost it.

Firstly, never heard of this guy, and I am not a linguist. I barely manage English some days. Still, a lot of what he says is going over my head.

Also, it's weird to see it called "Israeli". Modern Hebrew is called "Ivrit". I guess that technically translated to "Israeli" but it seems odd. I suppose Gewrmans feel the same way about seeing Duetch called "German".

Ivrit is, obviously, based on Ancient Hebrew. They use the same roots, same grammatical rules, etc (except where Ivrit 'borrows" from English). However, many of the meanings are different, be they due to idiom or just odd choices. Heck, even in Ancient Hebrew, words can have multiple meanings. Just the other night I was explaining to my first grader that yes, "nefesh" means soul but in the context of the verse we were learning it meant 'being". Modern Hebrew has a lot less of this.

As for inherent religiousness, the bit of Ancient Hebrew we have is commonly called Lashon HaKodesh, or "The Holy Language". It's not the same as a trade language or street language. It's meant to be seperate. Still, it was the lingua-franca of ancient Israel, so I have no problem with it being used as the basis for a secular language.

Still, I think it's more a question of baggage. If you come into Ivrit knowing Lashon Hakodesh, then yes, the words will have that charge. If you come into it without that knowledge, the charge isn't there.

As for Yiddish, which the guy mentions - it's interesting, but my late grandfather was fond of pointing out that when he was a boy, Yiddish was a gutter language, something you never, ever spoke in a house of learning. Growing up on the lower East Side, saying "good morning" in Yiddish instead of English or Hebrew (pre-Ivrit) was a good way to get cuffed. Now, you're expected to at least know someYiddish in most US Yeshivot (Plural of Yeshiva - and it should be noted that that's a feminine plural. Love that), and many great, great Rabbonim would not allow Ivrit to be spoken in school!


Thanks for your response, Typo.

As for linguistics, I'll admit, it's not for everyone. I'm having trouble wrapping my head around certain aspects of it, as well.

Here's why Ghi'lad Zuckermann refers to "Hebrew" as "Israeli":

Ghil'ad Zuckermann, a 35-year-old graduate of Tel Aviv University with doctorates from Oxford and Cambridge, argues that modern Hebrew should be renamed "Israeli" and give up its claim of pure descent from holy writ.

"Israelis are brainwashed to believe they speak the same language as (the prophet) Isaiah, a purely Semitic language, but this is false," Zuckermann told Reuters during a lecture tour to promote his soon-to-be-published polemic "Hebrew as Myth".

"It's time we acknowledge that Israeli is very different from the Hebrew of the past," Said Zuckermann, who points to the abiding influence of modern European dialects - especially Yiddish, Russian and Polish - imported by Israel's founders.

Naturally of course, his views are pretty controversial in Israel.

But thanks again for the info, and insight you gave. :smile:

[Matt Algren]

Dear Jew,

Do you want me to fix your blog post?

[Typo Lad]

Beet, but that's silly, as there are already terms to differentiate. Ivrit and Lashon Hakodesh.

I think this is a Statement.

Dear Jew,

Do you want me to fix your blog post?

It's broken?

[RubinCompServ]

As for Yiddish, which the guy mentions - it's interesting, but my late grandfather was fond of pointing out that when he was a boy, Yiddish was a gutter language, something you never, ever spoke in a house of learning. Growing up on the lower East Side, saying "good morning" in Yiddish instead of English or Hebrew (pre-Ivrit) was a good way to get cuffed.

I find that very interesting. My great-uncle has told us more than once about how, in pre-war Poland, all of the Yeshivos used to learn in Yiddish, and he laments that we learn in English, rather than Yiddish, now.

[Typo Lad]

Maybe it was a "You're in the new country now, not the old country" thing... but I dunno. Not howe I've seen it presented.

[jessecuster3]

My mom and her sister sister speak Yiddish fluently but do not speak or read Hebrew, at all.

[StoneGold]

As for Yiddish, which the guy mentions - it's interesting, but my late grandfather was fond of pointing out that when he was a boy, Yiddish was a gutter language, something you never, ever spoke in a house of learning. Growing up on the lower East Side, saying "good morning" in Yiddish instead of English or Hebrew (pre-Ivrit) was a good way to get cuffed. Now, you're expected to at least know someYiddish in most US Yeshivot (Plural of Yeshiva - and it should be noted that that's a feminine plural. Love that), and many great, great Rabbonim would not allow Ivrit to be spoken in school!

Are you saying Mel Brooks is gutter trash?

[Typo Lad]

Are you saying Mel Brooks is gutter trash?
No, I'm saying some people on the Lower East Side decades ago may have thought that.

[Michael P]

Except Brooks grew up in Brooklyn.

[Typo Lad]

Except Brooks grew up in Brooklyn.
Right, like I said... gutter.

[StoneGold]

Right, like I said... gutter.

Why am I envisioning Jack Kirby with Stan Lee in a headlock giving him noogies around 1941 right now?

[StoneGold]

Here's a wacky one - how did the Woody Allen stereotype come to be, when through the 50s, Jews were the ones the Italians hired to do their organized crime hits?


And with Don't Mess with the Zohar change any of that? And is it wrong that I find myself laughing, partially out of confusion, at the trailers?

[Typo Lad]

Why am I envisioning Jack Kirby with Stan Lee in a headlock giving him noogies around 1941 right now?

I don't know, but it's awesome.

Here's a wacky one - how did the Woody Allen stereotype come to be, when through the 50s, Jews were the ones the Italians hired to do their organized crime hits?

No idea, actually. It's weird.

And with Don't Mess with the Zohar change any of that? And is it wrong that I find myself laughing, partially out of confusion, at the trailers?

Zohan, and I doubt it.

[jessecuster3]

Zohan, and I doubt it.


Ha! Is it wrong that I delight in you picking up on other's typos.

[Typo Lad]

Ha! Is it wrong that I delight in you picking up on other's typos.
Nope.

I have the ability to catch other's errors, but never my own.

THere's a metaphor in there, somewhere.

[beetlebum]

Typo:

I actually don't agree with (Ghi'lad Zuckermann).

I just posted it because I thought what he said was quite interesting.

I'm not a Jew, so I have no say in whether or not "Hebrew" should be called "Israeli."

Gotta go, late for class now.

[Ilash]

Here's a wacky one - how did the Woody Allen stereotype come to be, when through the 50s, Jews were the ones the Italians hired to do their organized crime hits?


Actually, I would think it came from Woody himself, no?