Transgender Day of Rememberence Nov. 20

[Pink Bat Max]

This day is of special meaning to me, as I helped organize the first candlelight vigil.

Please light a candle, say a prayer, go to a local event, or keep a kind thought in your minds and hearts on this day....

The Transgender Day of Remembrance was set aside to memorialize those who were killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice. The event is held in November to honor Rita Hester, whose murder in 1998 kicked off the “Remembering Our Dead” web project and a San Francisco candlelight vigil in 1999. Since then, the event has grown to encompass memorials in dozens of cities across the world.

http://www.gender.org/remember/day/
http://www.gender.org/remember/index.html#

[Dazzler]

Count me in, Maxie Millions.

I'm down with my trans bros and hos.

--Dazz

[Christopher Cross Is God]

What's the story on Rita Hester? I did a few quick searches on yahoo, but didn't really find anything aside from stories which refer to the Day Of Remembrance.

[Pink Bat Max]

What's the story on Rita Hester? I did a few quick searches on yahoo, but didn't really find anything aside from stories which refer to the Day Of Remembrance.



Rita Hester

Location: Boston, Massachusetts
Cause of Death: Multiple stab wounds
Date of Death: November 28, 1998
Source: IYF, November 1998
Remembering Rita

The atmosphere at the club on the night of December 1st, 1998, was filled with tension, fear, and only the most anxious of laughter. Just three days earlier, some of us had learned that one of our compatriots, Rita Hester, had been brutally stabbed to death in her apartment. Informing our sisters and brothers was not the easiest of duties, but one for which we felt much compulsion — not only for the increased alertness required by all, but in sheer shock of Rita’s portrayal by the local and national media.

For those of you who haven’t already heard the full story, or have only managed to gather what morbid morsels the rest of the press has doled out, here’s an account combined from various eyewitness and friends’ accounts. Rita Hester was an out transgendered woman who had lived as a full-time woman for over 10 years in the Allston/Brighton community (just west of Boston proper). Comfortable with both herself and the way she was received by all segments of the local communities, Rita was a well-loved patron of both transgender-friendly clubs such as Jacques and straight bars such as Allston’s Model Cafe and The Silhouette. She had just returned from performing abroad, a career path which she thoroughly enjoyed. While the press has chosen to focus on Rita’s transgendered nature, her friends have instead highlighted her vivaciousness. Jessica Piper remembered her particularly well:

“Everywhere Rita went, people experienced her as an incredibly vivacious, outgoing woman. The Globe’s quote about her ‘double life’ only makes sense metaphorically: in Boston, she hung out in two different cultures, on opposite sides of town, and she was one of the only links between the two. The other queens wouldn’t go out to Allston from fear. And the straight Allston kids didn’t want to go to downtown queen bars.”

Rita was also known as a “large woman who could take care of herself,” a fact which makes her murder only more puzzling. On Saturday November 28th, at about 6:20 pm, a neighbor reported to police a disturbance at Rita’s residence. Upon arrival, they found her in cardiac arrest, having been stabbed multiple times. She was rushed to Beth Israel Deaconess Hospital, only to be declared dead after her arrival. Eyewitness reports variously claim that she went home with one or two people after meeting them at Jacques on the prior Tuesday, behavior that struck them as not typical of her style. Rumors abounded in the lay press, at various time suggesting the potential involvement of everything from blackmail (hardly likely, given how out she was to friends, family, and community) to Rohypnol (“Roofies,” or “the date-rape drug”), but nothing has been substantiated at this point. The only suggestion that seems plausible is that she was murdered by people she knew; since she was a 6’2", 6 ’3", 225, maybe 230 pound woman, it seems unlikely that she could have been murdered by someone breaking into her home.

But all the conjecture aside, what enrages me (and my friends here at TCNE) is her blatant misrepresentation by the press as he, male, and “Rita,” as if this name was an improper appellation. A transgendered individual who has had breast implants, who has lived in a community for 10 years as a woman, and who is known even by “straight” acquaintances as Rita, is not “Rita.” She is a woman, and whether or not you agree with her chosen lifestyle in any aspect, you owe her the respect to treat her as she wished to be treated. Yet the Boston Globe, an otherwise respectable publication, referred to her repeatedly as male while quoting friends who correctly used female pronouns and her correct first name. Even Boston’s gay/bi/lesbian newspaper, Bay Windows, repeatedly used male pronouns and Rita’s obscure given male first name throughout the article. But to everyone who knew Rita, this was the first they had heard her referred to in this way.

Written by Joan Touzet

From Rosebuds the Newsletter of the Tiffany Club of New England. Used with permission.

Basically, it all started in an AOL chat room when Rita Hester died.... Gwen Smith, a moderator, mentioned how tragic it was, in light of the other recent anti-Transgender murders in Boston. Nobody knew about the others, or had forgotten, thus the memorial, so that people never forget these lives.

[Cam63]

My respects.

[hellokittykat]

How sad! :(
Did they ever find out who killed her?

[Pink Bat Max]

How sad! :(
Did they ever find out who killed her?

I don't think so.
Sadly, we often see police neglegence in following up on anti-transgender murders. Case in point, Marsha P. Johnson.... She was a Stonewall rioter, and was found dead, floating in the East River. Police deemed it a suicide after making two phone calls, and closed the case. Her friends reported that she was NOT suicidal. People started popping up who had been with her that night, saying that she had been seen being harassed by a group of young men by the docks earlier that evening. Activists have asked the police to re-open the investigation, which to this day, they refuse to do.

Sadly, this sort of thing is all too common. Last I tracked the murder rate... and it has been about 3 years..... there averaged two incidents reported every month.

[Dazzler]

Marsha P. Johnson.....

The "P" is for "Pay it no mind!"

I love that.

See, Max, I do my homework.

--Dazz

[Magneto X]

I don't think so.
Sadly, we often see police neglegence in following up on anti-transgender murders. Case in point, Marsha P. Johnson.... She was a Stonewall rioter, and was found dead, floating in the East River. Police deemed it a suicide after making two phone calls, and closed the case. Her friends reported that she was NOT suicidal. People started popping up who had been with her that night, saying that she had been seen being harassed by a group of young men by the docks earlier that evening. Activists have asked the police to re-open the investigation, which to this day, they refuse to do.

Sadly, this sort of thing is all too common. Last I tracked the murder rate... and it has been about 3 years..... there averaged two incidents reported every month.

:( What a fcked up world we live in when crimes can be ignored like that.

[hellokittykat]

I don't think so.
Sadly, we often see police neglegence in following up on anti-transgender murders. Case in point, Marsha P. Johnson.... She was a Stonewall rioter, and was found dead, floating in the East River. Police deemed it a suicide after making two phone calls, and closed the case. Her friends reported that she was NOT suicidal. People started popping up who had been with her that night, saying that she had been seen being harassed by a group of young men by the docks earlier that evening. Activists have asked the police to re-open the investigation, which to this day, they refuse to do.

Sadly, this sort of thing is all too common. Last I tracked the murder rate... and it has been about 3 years..... there averaged two incidents reported every month.

That is horrible! And that's only what is reported! I imagine there are probably more that are never even heard about.

[Lester C.]

It doesn't sound like they caught the bastard that did killed her.

[Pink Bat Max]

That is horrible! And that's only what is reported! I imagine there are probably more that are never even heard about.

Yeah, exactly.

I eventually had to back off from being active on this issue because I was getting too scared to just live my life, but I'm coming back to it, because it's still important.


The "P" is for "Pay it no mind!"

I love that.

See, Max, I do my homework.

--Dazz

You get a gold star!

[Gilda Dent]

We'll be quietly recognizing things here at home, and our minister at church is going to mention it during his sermon tomorrow morning. There really isn't anything formal that's going to be done other than a small meeting Tuesday evening at the church, with a couple of other GLBT friendly churches in the area being invited to join.

We're not going because we're busy with other things; my brother and his family arrive Tuesday evening, and there's no way to get to the airport and back home and then back into the city and then back home and coordinate who's taking care of the kids and so forth.

I also have some difficulty with things like this on a personal level. Not an objection, but difficulty coping with the feelings it draws out in me.

[The Xenos]

I have to confess that I just don't agree with most gender changes. At the same time, they are our brothers and sisters. I doesn't matter if we diagree with their beliefs on gender, they're still part of us. If they suffer, so do we.

Also, dear crap. That's right around where I live. Lord knows what happened to poor Rita. It's not always the best area, but who knows. I wasn't aware of those bars, but there are plenty in the area and I don't even go to the straight or other bars anyway. It's funny because Boston is a pretty damn liveral town when it comes to these issues. I've seen plenty of that Bay Windows paper around campus and the area.

[Dazzler]

I have to confess that I just don't agree with most gender changes. At the same time, they are our brothers and sisters. I doesn't matter if we diagree with their beliefs on gender, they're still part of us. If they suffer, so do we.

I'm sure if you'd ever have had to walk a mile in their shoes, you might have a different opinion on the subject.
You'd best be grateful that you're in a position to be able to disagree with it rather than having to go through all the shit transpeople do just to be who they really are.

As it is, I realize you're trying to be nice, so....I won't be completely hateful. Just a smidge.

--Dazz

[beetlebum]

http://www.mommiesnbabies.com/forums/images/smilies/more9.gif

http://www.free-nature-photos.org/fotodb/55_poppies_0.jpg

http://www.usask.ca/100/images/lily_lily.jpg


Poppies for remembrance, lilies for purity, and for symbolizing a new beginning.
In apocrypha lore, it is said that when Gabriel visited Mary with news that she was about to bear the Christ child, he gave her a lily flower. Hence why it is not only the symbol of purity, but new beginnings.

I can only hope that Marsha P. Johnson is expatiating in a better place, and those who did her much harm will come to justice in this life or the next. A lot of people will look at a situation like this and ask be dismayed, but I look at it from a diffrent perspective. To me, it reaffirms my beliefs. The belier that there just has to be a better world than this, and that we must keep trying to redeem the salvageable aspects of man's nature, however daunting the task may be.

And I would also like to say that before visiting this website, I didn't know any transgendered people. By coming here, I have been able to open my mind and broaden my horizons to things I have previously been closed off too. Now that I have an open mind, I have become a much more tolerant soul, and have my spiritual well being is better off as a result. It's the true spirit of Agape, which is the most important aspect of the tenements I adhere too.

May these martyrs deaths not be in vain as we take on the best characteristics of them in ourselves, thereby allowing them to live on through us. And answer the clarion call to justice and freedom and to try to make this world a little easier to live in.

[KevinTBrown]

I look forward to the day that people of all types are no longer described as "the african american person", or "the gay person", or "the transgender person" and they're just people. No explanation as to what "kind" they are.... they're just people.

I'm with you on this, Max.

[Hybrid2]

As it is, I realize you're trying to be nice, so....I won't be completely hateful. Just a smidge.

--Dazz

I think that was uncall for.

[Hybrid2]

I look forward to the day that people of all types are no longer described as "the african american person", or "the gay person", or "the transgender person" and they're just people. No explanation as to what "kind" they are.... they're just people.

I'm with you on this, Max.

I always found the words african american..demeaning? not sure what's the word.
It always sound to me like there saying that there not full americans
Or canadians or whatever.

unless your actualy from or where born in Africa you cant be african american.Your just american.
That's it.

[Gilda Dent]

I always found the words african american..demeaning? not sure what's the word.
It always sound to me like there saying that there not full americans
Or canadians or whatever.

unless your actualy from or where born in Africa you cant be african american.Your just american.
That's it.

Quick language lesson.

In a hyphenated designation, the first word is a modifier. In this case, it adds information about one's ethnicity or familial national origin. It in no way says one is less American.

If I say I'm Japanese-American, that means nothing other than I'm an American of Japanese descent.

[Mercurialblonde]

The problem isn't per se with saying African-American. It's with not saying Euro-American or whatever instead of white. The whole black-white dichotomy is what's really offensive, and you subconsciouly affirm it when you use white to describe people.

Language is hard to change, but when you can it's pretty liberating actually. Which isn't to say I don't have a lot of difficulty with these exact issues, because I do, especially in mixed companies of people. Because some people use diffrent words for diffrent reasons, and I try to be sensitiive where I can, and educational where I can.

Oh and also I'm transdenver. And I didn't know about this day. Because I suck and there's not like a gay calendar they give you to keep up with all of these things. But since learning about it I've been telling lots of people about our dead and hopefully not forgotten.

[Spike-X]

I have to confess that I just don't agree with most gender changes.

I have to confess I don't understand why it's something you need to agree or disagree with in the first place.

[Dazzler]

I think that was uncall for.

And I think you're completely humorless.

--Dazz

[Pink Bat Max]

I'm sure if you'd ever have had to walk a mile in their shoes, you might have a different opinion on the subject.
You'd best be grateful that you're in a position to be able to disagree with it rather than having to go through all the shit transpeople do just to be who they really are.

As it is, I realize you're trying to be nice, so....I won't be completely hateful. Just a smidge.

--Dazz

And this is why I love you.

(Even though you're a cheap whore.)

[Dazzler]

And this is why I love you.

(Even though you're a cheap whore.)

Eep-eep, op-op, ork-ork means I love you too.

You're like a part of my family now. I appreciate you in my life, Maxie. :)

Even though you are a tragic whore.

--Dazz

[Pink Bat Max]

Eep-eep, op-op, ork-ork means I love you too.

You're like a part of my family now. I appreciate you in my life, Maxie. :)

Even though you are a tragic whore.

--Dazz

Yeah.

You're like the brother I never had.

(You know, the one who embarassed us all so we kept him locked in the crawlspace beneath the stairs....)

[Dazzler]

Yeah.

You're like the brother I never had.

(You know, the one who embarassed us all so we kept him locked in the crawlspace beneath the stairs....)

I feel so zinged.
A thousand monkies at a thousand typewriters might come up with something similar.

And wih more punch.

--Dazz

[Gilda Dent]

Oh and also I'm transdenver. And I didn't know about this day. Because I suck and there's not like a gay calendar they give you to keep up with all of these things. But since learning about it I've been telling lots of people about our dead and hopefully not forgotten.

First, welcome to YABS. We can always use some more insanity here.

Second, though I disagree with much of the rest of your post, I'd prefer not to hijack Pink Bat Max's thread to talk about race issues.

Third, it's OK you didn't know. Now you do. I assume this is why Pinky posted the thread, to inform those not aware. If you need a resource to keep track of important events in the GLBT community, you might try checking in at www.hrc.org once in awhile, or with a local GLBT community center or organization. They usually do keep a calendar of events.

[The Xenos]

I didn't mean to make it an argument. I just wanted to state that I personally disagreed with those beliefs on gender, but at the same time I support them as people. I'm not Islamic or Mormon, but I can respect them as people even if our choices and beliefs differ. Certainly if someone if persecuted for their beliefs like that, it's terrible. I'm Christian and I'm disgusted how many supposed followers of Christ forget there was a time where Christians were persecuted too.

Actually, I don't really disagree too much. Even there I'm fairly open. I meant to say that my personal choices on gender are different. Just like I'm not black or gay. They're honestly nothing wrong either way. Gender and sexuality are a lot more simple than checking a single box anyway.

I shouldn't say much, but a friend in high school had a family member I met a number of times who was transgender. So I certainly thought about it myself. I just didn't agree with it personally. Though I don't think just calling me just a straight male does me justice either. There are plenty of issues even among those words. I've accepted that I'm a bit feminine, but at the same time I am straight and accept the body I was given.

Oh and certainly that transgender character in Gaiman's Sandman comes to mind. That was another thing that made me think about the issues. That was an emotional scene. Ugh. I need to reread it, so I forget the specifics, but I remember in general a scene that was quite moving. Won't say too much for those who haven't read it.


I look forward to the day that people of all types are no longer described as "the african american person", or "the gay person", or "the transgender person" and they're just people. No explanation as to what "kind" they are.... they're just people.

I'm with you on this, Max.

That's really what it comes down to. They're people. Period. Differences aside, they're still people and no one should have to go through that persecution crap.

[Mercurialblonde]

I didn't mean to make it an argument. I just wanted to state that I personally disagreed with those beliefs on gender, but at the same time I support them as people. I'm not Islamic or Mormon, but I can respect them as people even if our choices and beliefs differ. Certainly if someone if persecuted for their beliefs like that, it's terrible. I'm Christian and I'm disgusted how many supposed followers of Christ forget there was a time where Christians were persecuted too.

Actually, I don't really disagree too much. Even there I'm fairly open. I meant to say that my personal choices on gender are different. Just like I'm not black or gay. They're honestly nothing wrong either way. Gender and sexuality are a lot more simple than checking a single box anyway.

I shouldn't say much, but a friend in high school had a family member I met a number of times who was transgender. So I certainly thought about it myself. I just didn't agree with it personally. Though I don't think just calling me just a straight male does me justice either. There are plenty of issues even among those words. I've accepted that I'm a bit feminine, but at the same time I am straight and accept the body I was given.

Oh and certainly that transgender character in Gaiman's Sandman comes to mind. That was another thing that made me think about the issues. That was an emotional scene. Ugh. I need to reread it, so I forget the specifics, but I remember in general a scene that was quite moving. Won't say too much for those who haven't read it.



That's really what it comes down to. They're people. Period. Differences aside, they're still people and no one should have to go through that persecution crap.

I don't really understand what you mean when you say you "disagree". The way you are framing your whole thing is that you chose to be straight and "accept the body I was given". All of that implies a choice that you made. So if you're saying gender is up for choice/discussion, then what does it matter to you if someone choses something diffrent from you? You can't really disagree with other people's choices per se. You can be like "I chose diffrently". But judging someone else's choice to the extent that you say you "disagree" with how they live their life is taking it that little smidgen of a step too far.

Not that I wholly agree that gender is a choice. It seems to be infinitely more complex than that. You said yourself that though you have chosen to be a straight male, you also consider yourself feminine. So that hints that gender is more than just what you chose, but also some sort of intangible feeling.

Just don't understand that one little part where you say you disagree with whatever, like it's really something you can do. My reaction to that is like for the most part "So? Who said it was up for debate?" That's one of the more annoying things about being LGBT is that people feel like your identity is up for discussion and debate. Which is so gross when you think about it.

[Dazzler]

That's really what it comes down to. They're people. Period. Differences aside, they're still people and no one should have to go through that persecution crap.

I'm really just baffled.

I appreciate what you're, I guess, trying to say.

But really.

--Dazz

[a. non]

In my town, i'll probably be the only one doing anything to Remember. (stupid podunk town):mad: :(

Xenos: Here you go (http://forums.comicbookresources.com/showpost.php?p=5830473&postcount=4219)

[KPhoebe]

I'll be lighting a candle in remembrance.

[BnL]

Is this an international thing, or just in the US? I have a trans friend who's currently living in Sweden, though he's always been pretty (sometimes astoundingly) oblivious to LGBT happenings. Not that I'm much better, but still.

[a. non]

Is this an international thing, or just in the US? I have a trans friend who's currently living in Sweden, though he's always been pretty (sometimes astoundingly) oblivious to LGBT happenings. Not that I'm much better, but still.

From what i understand, it's predominantly US, but it applies everywhere Transgender people are harassed and murdered for being their true selves. Help your friend spread the message (http://www.gsanetwork.org/resources/dayofremembrance.html), that these gentle souls will never be forgotten.

[rick]

My honest to God, very best wishes to the Transgendered folks out there.

Over the years I have found the few folks I have known in that community to be very kind and very empathetic.

And as far as I am concerned, everybody should have the right to be who they know that they are.

[tangentman]

Xenos: We ALL pretty much start life as females in the womb. Whether or not the developing fetus gets a Y chromosome is a roll of Nature's dice. Consider numerous other factors that shape gender--not just biological sex, but cultural imprints, family medical history, individual psychological developments--and you'll find that transgenderism is far more complex than a "choice".

Transgender folks also don't "change genders" on a whim. There's soul-searching and second-guessing of self the likes of which neither you nor I will probably ever experience. The operation? That doesn't happen without an exacting and lengthy process which weeds out the folks who aren't genuinely transgendered individuals.

Hell, if I remember what I'd learned on the subject correctly, "transgender" doesn't necessarily mean the same thing as "transsexual" anyway! :)

For Max, Gilda, Mercurialblonde, and so many others: I think "Transgender Day of Remembrance" is a beautiful idea! Two good friends of mine currently find themselves at different points of transitioning into "transmen". Their decisions were neither "frivolous" nor "confused". They're self-identifying as what comes most naturally to them.

I appreciate their honesty and trust. Likewise, I appreciate the honesty, trust, and courage you've all shown by speaking about your lives. Thank you, and know that I'm with you in spirit on Nov. 20!

[Dazzler]

tangentman, why you so badass, can you tell me that? ;)

--Dazz

[tangentman]

tangentman, why you so badass, can you tell me that? ;)

--Dazz

Bachelor of Arts in Bad Ass Studies from GSU. I'm currently working on my Master's. ;)

[Spike-X]

If you need a resource to keep track of important events in the GLBT community, you might try checking in at www.hrc.org once in awhile, or with a local GLBT community center or organization. They usually do keep a calendar of events.

I just assumed the calendar came with the copy of The Agenda that you all get.

[BnL]

I think the "choice" wording has become a force of habit in our vernacular more than a general belief that it's a choice, much the same way most people still say "sexual preference" instead of "sexual orientation."

[Dazzler]

Bachelor of Arts in Bad Ass Studies from GSU. I'm currently working on my Master's. ;)

in MY world, you have a PhD in bad-assedness. And that's all there is to it. ;)

--Dazz

[Alan Lynch]

What an awesome idea. Sad as hell that crimes against transgendered folks are buried so easily as well; people is people.

[Pink Bat Max]

The main thing that I think about when someone talks about 'agreeing' with transgender or not is this:

What's to agree with?

For me, it's a personal aspect of who I am, and not really something I see public consensus being necessary for. You can agree or disagree with my politics, my opinions of fashion, my thoughts of Henry Miller, or my latest comics review.

Agreeing or not with transgenderism? Not relevant. Not up for a vote. Only thing you need to worry about is if you'll treat me with respect or no.






Also, Tangentman: Marry me.

[Mercurialblonde]

The main thing that I think about when someone talks about 'agreeing' with transgender or not is this:

What's to agree with?

For me, it's a personal aspect of who I am, and not really something I see public consensus being necessary for. You can agree or disagree with my politics, my opinions of fashion, my thoughts of Henry Miller, or my latest comics review.

Agreeing or not with transgenderism? Not relevant. Not up for a vote. Only thing you need to worry about is if you'll treat me with respect or no.



Exactly! I wish more people would realize that they didn't need an opinion on EVERYTHING.

[Sabrinaset]

Oh and also I'm transdenver. And I didn't know about this day. Because I suck and there's not like a gay calendar they give you to keep up with all of these things. But since learning about it I've been telling lots of people about our dead and hopefully not forgotten.

I'm actually happier that we have another blonde on the board! But yaaay ... at the rate we're going, YABS will be featured in some GLBT magazine someday! So who's in charge of the list?

And don't feel bad about keeping up with the dates ... I had a relative who was waaay up there in GLAAD and I could never keep track of the calendar. Mostly because it would interfere with my side job of draining babies of their blood.



But I so wanna make a joke about being "TransDENVER ..."

[Spackling Compound]

What's transdenver?

[Mercurialblonde]

What's transdenver?

It involves Jesus, a plate of Rocky Mountain Oysters, and a firm but flexible stick of poo.

[Spackling Compound]

It involves Jesus, a plate of Rocky Mountain Oysters, and a firm but flexible stick of poo.

2girlsand1cup?

[tangentman]

in MY world, you have a PhD in bad-assedness. And that's all there is to it. ;)

--Dazz

Is that like the time Oprah's PhD that she earned without finishing college? Wow, I'm keeping mighty fine company these days! :D ;) :)
Thanks, Dazz!


The main thing that I think about when someone talks about 'agreeing' with transgender or not is this:

What's to agree with?

For me, it's a personal aspect of who I am, and not really something I see public consensus being necessary for. You can agree or disagree with my politics, my opinions of fashion, my thoughts of Henry Miller, or my latest comics review.

Agreeing or not with transgenderism? Not relevant. Not up for a vote. Only thing you need to worry about is if you'll treat me with respect or no.






Also, Tangentman: Marry me.


QFGenuineT, and...I would, Max, but I think a certain soldier boy I know might beat you to it! LOL

All I can say is you're the Pink Bat Goddess!

[Shisho]

*lights a candle*

[Dazzler]

Is that like the time Oprah's PhD that she earned without finishing college? Wow, I'm keeping mighty fine company these days! :D ;) :)
Thanks, Dazz!
You wouldn't believe how welcome you are! ;)
Unlike, Oprah, though, you TOTALLY earned your badass degree!

--Dazz

[The Zapper]

Count me in. I don't care what people like to do with sex (as long as it's not hurting someone like rape or child abuse of course). It's sad that in 2007 people still have such hatred for something so simple, and yes, natural. At this point in my life, I can't believe how I used to not like gays or transgenders. It's so stupid. Granted I was young, I'm just glad I grew up and realized how there isn't any difference between me and gays. Anyway, yeah, I'll light a candle, and I'll be glad to have done it.

[Pink Bat Max]

I'm actually happier that we have another blonde on the board! But yaaay ... at the rate we're going, YABS will be featured in some GLBT magazine someday! So who's in charge of the list?

Yes, we're changing the 'S' in YABS from 'Sorry' to 'Sodomized'. Strap 'em on, ladies!

As for who's in charge? I propose a drunken karaoke battle to decide.

[Solaris]

I look forward to the day that people of all types are no longer described as "the african american person", or "the gay person", or "the transgender person" and they're just people. No explanation as to what "kind" they are.... they're just people.

I'm with you on this, Max.

That's the kind of thing that starts at home. :) I've been working on that one for while now. My parents always describe people of other races as "a black woman I work with," "he was a Mexican driver," etc. The fact that they do it all the time brought it blatantly to my notice... and then I started noticing how many other people do it, and that I did it too. So, I began stopping myself every time a descriptor was about to come out of my mouth, to pause and think: Is this a case where a descriptor is genuinely needed? (i.e. you have two friends who've never met before, and they're both getting to the restaurant ahead of you---you will need to give a physical description, which includes race) Anyway, if a descriptor isn't needed, I simply refer to the person as "this guy" or "my friend" or "a woman." AND, I put the converse into practice as well: if the two friends I mentioned above in the example are white, I will usually describe them as "white" as well... because otherwise, we're all operating under the *assumption* that the friend is white.

When you've grown up with a habit learned from your parents, etc., it's not always easy to break... but I've been doing my best to do so, because listening to them and actually *thinking* about it, I realized that it's often a subtle form of prejudice. So, if I get crappy service at a fast-food place, I say "this woman" or "this man" no matter what their race, or if they're wearing a turban or headscarf or if the person has strong male features but is dressed as a female. I still slip up on the rare occasion, but I'm conscious that it's a learned behavior that I want to break, so I do my best to break it.

:)

***

Back to the thread topic:

I wasn't aware of the memorial day, so thank you for sharing, Pinkie. I sent out my prayers as soon as I read it. I read the Saudi thread a few minutes ago, and while things like that are horrible, so is this (transgender murders). Not all horror happens far away.

Maybe someday we will live in a world where every human being is treated with respect and with basic rights being taken as a given---and where harm to someone is a crime and justice will be served, no matter what the situation of the victim... in the meantime, we have to do what we can to nudge our world closer to that one, one person and one step at a time.

[Solaris]

The main thing that I think about when someone talks about 'agreeing' with transgender or not is this:

What's to agree with?

For me, it's a personal aspect of who I am, and not really something I see public consensus being necessary for. You can agree or disagree with my politics, my opinions of fashion, my thoughts of Henry Miller, or my latest comics review.

Agreeing or not with transgenderism? Not relevant. Not up for a vote. Only thing you need to worry about is if you'll treat me with respect or no.






Also, Tangentman: Marry me.


I can't tell you how fascinated I was when I learned that all babies start out developing physically as female---and that it takes an extra step for the Y chromosome to kick in and develop the gender plumbing further into a male. Aside from explaining some of the gender differences in infant mortality, early childhood development and survival, etc. (male infants and male children experience more early health issues, are on average slower to develop in certain ways, etc... until they begin to catch up to the females in later childhood/early puberty)... well, aside from that, I just found it highly amusing that in the "male driven" world I grew up in, every single one of 'em started out with the same plumbing I have! :D

I do understand that transgender issues are much more complicated than that, but just had to comment on the basic science and the irony I saw in it, when I first learned of it. (Which leads me to wonder if, for those men who feel a need to overcompensate in expressing their "maleness" and total lack of "femaleness," if there wasn't some leftover issues with starting out as female. Heh.)

Sorry about sidelining from the serious topic of the thread, but the irony involved edges toward some of that "macho male" reaction some men have toward transgenders, too. And that's what irony is for: it helps you recognize and laugh at the utter ridiculousness of a situation... because there's a fallacy involved, and you see it.

Being transgendered is usually much more complicated than that, because as I understand it, while a few people may have more than an "XY" chromosome (say, "XXY" or something), for most they have the Y, but identify as female on the inside (or in reverse, they have the XX but identify as male). It must be extremely traumatic to have your spirit aligned as one gender, but have the body you're living in be the opposite gender. (Which is different from "crossdressing": that's a male or female who likes to dress in opposite gender clothing for whatever reason, but is comfortable and aligned with their body's birth gender.) Transgendered people crossdress, but it's much more than that---if you really think about it, they *aren't* "cross" dressing---they're dressing for the gender they are on the *inside*. Anyway, whenever I meet someone who's dressed as the opposite gender from what their body structure seems to indicate (and sometimes, the body structure *doesn't* indicate a difference), I address them by the gender they are showing to the world, period. I have no idea if they're a cross-dresser, or a homosexual who likes to cross-dress, or someone who's transgendered, and it really doesn't matter. What matters is that they are in an attire that calls for a certain gender recognition, so that's the one I'm going to give them.

[MartinRedmond]

Work those heels pink bat max!

[Spike-X]

Here's a bit of good news for those trans folks out there (and in here), found on Tony Isabella's board (http://www.comicscommunity.com/boards/tony/):


Mich. Governor Guards Transgender Rights

Nov 22, 9:14 AM (ET)

LANSING, Mich. (AP) - Gov. Jennifer Granholm has issued an order that bars discrimination against state workers based on their "gender identity or expression," which protects the rights of those who behave, dress or identify as members of the opposite sex.

The order, which Granholm signed Wednesday, adds gender identity to a list of other prohibited grounds for discrimination that includes religion, race, color, national origin, age, sex, sexual orientation, height, weight, marital status, politics, disability or genetic information.

"State employment practices and procedures that encourage nondiscriminatory and equal employment practices provide desirable models for the private sector and local governments," says the resolution.

The Triangle Foundation, a Michigan-based group advocating rights for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people, praised Granholm's action.

"Coming out as transgender is a career-ender. Transgendered people lose their jobs all the time," foundation policy director Sean Kosofsky told the Detroit Free Press.


And really, this is good news for everybody, regardless. Because if some of us aren't equal, then none of us are.

[Pink Bat Max]

Here's a bit of good news for those trans folks out there (and in here), found on Tony Isabella's board (http://www.comicscommunity.com/boards/tony/):



And really, this is good news for everybody, regardless. Because if some of us aren't equal, then none of us are.

Hooray, Gov. Granholm! <3 <3 <3

[Gail Simone]

This day is of special meaning to me, as I helped organize the first candlelight vigil.

Please light a candle, say a prayer, go to a local event, or keep a kind thought in your minds and hearts on this day....

The Transgender Day of Remembrance was set aside to memorialize those who were killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice. The event is held in November to honor Rita Hester, whose murder in 1998 kicked off the “Remembering Our Dead” web project and a San Francisco candlelight vigil in 1999. Since then, the event has grown to encompass memorials in dozens of cities across the world.

http://www.gender.org/remember/day/
http://www.gender.org/remember/index.html#

I missed this thread somehow, on the actual day. But it's definitely in my thoughts.

Gail

[Dazzler]

Work those heels pink bat max!
Trust me, you mean "Work those sensible, yet somehow still strangely cool, chuck taylors."

That's of course when she's not barefoot and pregnant. And by pregnant, i mean riddled with syph.

--Dazz

[Pink Bat Max]

Trust me, you mean "Work those sensible, yet somehow still strangely cool, chuck taylors."

That's of course when she's not barefoot and pregnant. And by pregnant, i mean riddled with syph.

--Dazz

You whore.

Yes, it's true, though. At my job wearing anything but sensible footwear means 'chase me down and beat me!'

I am well under-shod as a result.

[Dazzler]

You whore.

Yes, it's true, though. At my job wearing anything but sensible footwear means 'chase me down and beat me!'

I am well under-shod as a result.
You gotta admit...even wearing sensible shoes somehow still translates to "chase me down and beat me!"
And you wear cool shoes.

--Dazz

[Sabrinaset]

It's a good thing that we have a Transgender Day of Rememberence ... because sometimes, they forget.

[Pink Bat Max]

It's a good thing that we have a Transgender Day of Rememberence ... because sometimes, they forget.

Forget what?


Wait, what were we talking about? :confused:

[tangentman]

It's a good thing that we have a Transgender Day of Rememberence ... because sometimes, they forget.


I don't think there are enough Alzheimer's diagnoses or fifths of liquor to make someone forget THAT! :p :)

[Gilda Dent]

So we're taking turns playing videogames, Jiro, Will, and I.

At one point, while Will was waiting for his turn, and Jiro and I were playing, he asks, "Did you guys play videogames when you were a little girl?"

Pause.

"I'm sorry. I forgot," Will said.

Jiro said, "It's OK. I think it's a compliment when people forget. I grew up with her and sometimes I forget."

Followed by, of course, an explanation of how the first videogame was invented years before either of us was born, and yes we played videogames when we were little.

[rick]

So we're taking turns playing videogames, Jiro, Will, and I.

At one point, while Will was waiting for his turn, and Jiro and I were playing, he asks, "Did you guys play videogames when you were a little girl?"

Pause.

"I'm sorry. I forgot," Will said.

Jiro said, "It's OK. I think it's a compliment when people forget. I grew up with her and sometimes I forget."

Followed by, of course, an explanation of how the first videogame was invented years before either of us was born, and yes we played videogames when we were little.



That's actually kind of a sweet story.