Round 3: Charles Paul Wilson III (Only judges can post here!)

[CPWilsonIII]

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[Ryan Ottley]

Charles,

A guy in tights is definitely one of the hardest things to draw and have look good. This has been a good round, it really shows what people know about anatomy. And you got some studying to do, the fists especially need a lot of work. Look at someones fist, a real fist looks much cooler than what you have drawn here. The pose is stiff, the foreshortening is off. The right arm doesn't quite connect with the body very well. And he is looking into the camera which comes off as silly and uninteresting. Buildings look good though, but without a solid figure than everything else on a page gets looked over. The flow of the page works, it's obvious what's going on, so that's good. Not into the panel layouts you have. Round panels are just blah.

Page two

Panels one and two could have been put into one larger panel, I think it would've looked better and you'd know the position of everyone. An establishing shot should show where everyone is in relation to each other, and show where they are, basically make it simple and let the reader know instantly what's going on.

Panel 3-It wasn't important to single out a cop here, the point of the story is just to have the cops shooting, close-ups are for the main story's characters. The 4th panel looks like he is afraid of being shot by that previous cop, or that he is afraid because he sees Invincible flying down. Panel 6 is not working for me. A close-up would've been MUCH more effective here. The last panel is pretty cool. A couple bouncing cars would've added to it.

Page three

For some reason it doesn't have the feeling of being in a pickle here. The page seems to work ok, but the last panel is a little uninteresting. Maybe a small close-up panel at the end with a worried look would've added to that.

Overall I liked your spotting of blacks. You had some good shots in there. Keep it up.

[Ryall_IDW]

Page One
There is just some crazy Kirby foreshortening going on in this opening panel. From the large fist to the scrawny legs, the proportions feel all wrong to me. Compared to his other arm, that right fist is almost Hellboy-big. And I would’ve liked to see a bit more of a flying rather than floating scene for that opening panel. The buildings all seem a bit too same, too—I know some are designed slightly different, but somehow they don’t feel different. Panel two just feels like the same as panel one, the character floating in the sky. I see the progression here, from panels one to three, and while it tells the story, it feels a bit forced. The thick borders around panels two, three, and four distract me a bit, too.

Page Two
I like the ground-level view in panel one, but the manatee is a bit hard to spot if you don’t know to look for it. The page just feels a bit too crowded to me. Panel three, with the cop, seems unnecessary, since the script doesn’t call out for any specific cop to take a focus here. We don’t need to see her fire the gun when the whole point is to show the manatee being protected. Nice job with the approach panel, but Octoboss seems diminished here compared to his presence in panel one. I do like the final panel, but the other, non-central figures feel a bit too rushed and undersized.

Page Three
Those thick panel borders are officially very distracting now. Perhaps a different angle in panel one would’ve better conveyed that Invincible was rising into the air a few inches to catch the manatee, since he didn’t really need to do that here, from how it appears. I do like the ‘boss’ face in panel three, and panel four, it’s not a bad approach to show Mark surrounded, although the foreground tentacles need more weight so they stand out from Mark and his new pet.

[Marc Silvestri]

Charles-

The voting has started so let’s get right to it. I see some things here I like, and some things I don’t. I do like the clean Kevin Nowlan style simplicity in the rendering but I’m not crazy about the figure work and storytelling. The script calls for the opening shot of Invincible to look like he’s kind of chillin’ and flyin’ for the fun of it. Here he looks like he’s posing and smiling for the paparazzi. Having him look directly at us (in effect acknowledging our presence) brings us into the shot with him. The foreshortening is a bit inaccurate as well since it’s not consistent through the entire figure. Remember, even figures need to be drawn in perspective not just buildings. Hands seem a little blocky and could use a little structure study (they are one of the hardest things to draw but worth any effort to learn).

Not liking the cityscape in panel one (kind of a stiff layout with random black placements) but I do like the buildings in panel two (much more organic and interesting). One thing I teach the new guys at Top Cow is NOT to grid buildings in the layout stage but to look at them as more organic shapes and groupings. More like gesture drawing a forest of trees. Once you get nicely flowing groups and shapes THEN add the grid and make the lines add up. What this does is it frees up the mind to not think in boring straight lines that create a kind of Lego city. You can do this with interiors as well.

Panel three should be brought way in on Marks face. In this instance, we need to focus on his expression rather than an awkwardly inserted hand. The last panel could use more power and urgency (the angle of the figure here requires us to see a bit of leg and feet). The black panel borders should be saved for when something needs the reader’s special attention only.

Page two has a really cool figure work and I like the dynamic perspective of the laser shot. The aquarium looks more like a neighborhood pet fish store though. I don’t think they’d be selling Manatees there. I like that Octoboss is holding him over his shoulder but the fact he’s holding a Manatee is hidden by his tentacles and ugly mug.

Panel three needs to be much bigger in content. We don’t get the feeling here that there are a lot of cops on the scene and we should. Odd beat in adding the cop firing. It makes her seem too important. Would have been better to add a couple more cops in the background with her. I like panels four and five. Panel five may be my favorite of your pages here (lot of energy and movement). In panel six Octodude looks pretty small and non-threatening. Of all samples I’ve seen in this round yours is the first that gives me the impression that Invincible is actually pounding Octoboss into the ground so kudos to you on that! Adding some cast shadows under some of the flying bodies would have helped place them in relation to the ground.

Page three has your best-drawn figures by far. The action in panel one is oddly casual though. Panel three is my other favorite of your pages. It works on all levels for me. Nice black foreground element and badass looking Octoboss. Good job! Last panel lacks threat though. I get the feeling Invincible can just fly away with his Manatee and all will be cool. Like all the other artists this round pull back here and show the whole threat! It’s obvious you can draw you just need to focus on improving the dynamics and storytelling. You got the anatomy in a couple of panels ok but for the most part that needs work too. You can make that happen though.

Good luck man!

-M