Round 3: Jose Holder (Only judges can post here!)

[joh james]

And now for your Feature Presentation! Ta-daaa!:D

[Click on image for larger version]

Page 1

http://brainiac.boilingpoint.com/~cbi3/joseholder/jhr31th.jpg (http://brainiac.boilingpoint.com/~cbi3/joseholder/jhr31.jpg)

Page 2

http://brainiac.boilingpoint.com/~cbi3/joseholder/jhr32th.jpg (http://brainiac.boilingpoint.com/~cbi3/joseholder/jhr32.jpg)

Page 3

http://brainiac.boilingpoint.com/~cbi3/joseholder/jhr33th.jpg (http://brainiac.boilingpoint.com/~cbi3/joseholder/jhr33.jpg)

[Ryan Ottley]

Your stuff is great. Although I'm not sure where you got reference for Invincible. We should have supplied some. It looks like you got some old reference and then changed him to make him more silly. It's basically a guy in tights, not puffy styrafoam boots and gloves with baggy material. His hair is not long at all. And he has fingerless gloves. It's ok to put your own flair on a character but to change him this much is a little annoying. Be sure and get good reference next time.

Page one

Aside from the completely out of character look this is a great page. Looks like he is really having fun. I love the backgrounds you do. The top panel BG is great. And buildings on the bottom with the cool bridge and the smoke rising, it's all good stuff.

Page two

Not sure why Octoboss is such a giant here. The reference we supplied shows Invincibles size relation to Octoboss. And you have Octoboss changing sizes throughout pages 2 and 3. Not sure why you did this. Like all your pages there is a nice flow to this one, your storytelling is awesome. And I love the hint of backgrounds you give, it's just enough to be believable. I like it.


Page three

Again I LOVE the background, it's really all you need. And then there is mini Octoboss at the end of the page. He went from giant to midget in two pages.
I love your work, one of my faves of this competition. Sometimes you make good changes, sometimes not. But your flow is great, you are a pro sir. And I think you could get work in comics easily.

[Ryall_IDW]

Page One
Wow, is this a different and not entirely accurate interpretation of Invincible, isn’t it? I’m all for personal style, and I do like your style, but it just feels a bit too different to really feel like the character. I do like the leisurely way Mark is flying in panel one, and even more, I like that you don’t really rely on panel borders to separate the action. That gives this page a nice fluidity of movement. Panel two, his legs disappearing into the clouds is a bit jarring, and overall, it’ll take a strong colorist to keep his backgrounds in these panel-less panels from blurring into one. Panel four, the design of that triangle leads my eye back away from where I’d like to end, up, however.

Page Two
I don’t really see the need for the first inset panel, since the larger panel sets the scene and works well for an establishing shot. Octoboss’s minions appear very small in front of him, but okay. We also don’t really see the manatee being protected from gunfire, as the script calls out. The final panel, the manatee seems to levitate above the scene, but this doesn’t give enough of a sense that he’s being launched into the air because of the impact. There are some curious panel angles overlapping panel one, too.

Page Three
Mark’s face feels a bit inconsistent from panel to panel. I do really like the linework throughout your samples, and especially in panels one and two here—I hope an inker will hold your lines and not just fill in the blacks completely. The perspective in the final panels doesn’t totally gibe with what’s called for in the script, or even what we’re seeing—the gun is leveled at Mark’s head in one panel, and then in the final scene, he’s still floating about Octoboss and company. They should be aiming their guns a bit higher up, to really draw a bead on him.

[Marc Silvestri]

Jose-

Love your stuff. First panel on page one is REALLY cool. Invincible looks like he’s totally relaxed and enjoying himself. Just like the script called for. The switch in the way the figure is flying from panel one to panel two is a bit jarring however and seems intrusive of the storytelling. The rendering is a bit out of control here as well and takes away from your natural sense of design. I like the figure in panel three but what is he looking at? I like what’s IN panel four but not the shape of the panel itself. The triangle shape draws too much attention.

Page two is cool but I’m not convinced the inset panel was necessary. I get that it’s a storytelling beat but it seems to take away from the big shot of Octoboss. Again, watch the rendering as it gets a little crazy with all the directional changes. Too much of that and you start to lose structures. I would have liked the background in panel two to continue across the page. Having it stop at the left edge of Octo’s body makes the panel look incomplete and creates a tangent.

Panel three is awesome but Mark’s angle of attack doesn’t match with him pile-driving Octo into the ground. The way you present it now makes it seem he’s knocking him into a wall. The cop and the Manatee seem to both be floating off the page. Adding the cop actually hurts the drama of the Manatee being the one in danger here (so Invincible saves the Manatee and lets the cop go splat?)

Last page works well but I notice now that Invincible doesn’t really look like Invincible. He lacks the sense of playfulness the character requires. Great tentacles in panel two btw. I like the beat in panel four. Panel five illustrates what I said earlier. By not clearly establishing that Mark drove Octoboss into the ground beforehand we’re left kind of wondering why he’s in a crater here. All the samples I’ve seen so far fail to capture the scope of Invincible and his predicament in the last panel. Why is that?

Like I said, I love the way you draw but I think the subject matter here is out of your stylistic comfort zone. I still think you’re a front-runner but you need to learn to adapt a bit more.

Good luck man!

-M