Round 2: Public Comment Thread (Non judges please post here!)

[Brandon Hanvey]

Please post your comments on Round 2 art here.

Contestant threads are for official judges only.

[Hieu Le Bui]

Isn't it a bad sign that only one person Wilfredo Torres has posted his work when it is now Sunday 9:34pm EST? There's only about 14 hours more but still.

[mattx110]

well, his is pretty gorgeous, though.

[escapegoat]

Isn't it a bad sign that only one person Wilfredo Torres has posted his work when it is now Sunday 9:34pm EST? There's only about 14 hours more but still.

Not at all. It just means the contestants are putting a lot more effort into their work this time around. ;)

[the_poet]

Wow! Torres' work is terrific. He's going to be difficult to live up to from the other contestants.

[Caio Oliveira]

Not at all. It just means the contestants are putting a lot more effort into their work this time around. ;)


Or maybe because they don't have a scanner in their houses so they need to wait til monday morning to scan it in a lan house. :(

[Nick Pitarra]

Wilfredo's pages are awesome......mine will be up sometime tonight.

~nick

[davechisholm]

wilfredo's pages = very good.

[cg_maniac]

Looks different from your first assignment pages, thought I was looking at McDaid's work for a second. Amazing you can switch gears like that. Great style.

Nice job.

Quick observations:

Page 1

might not be enough room for the captions in panel 3.

last panel - supposed to be staring into each other's eyes, but looks like eyes are closed. Nice drawing, emotion, though.


Page 2

panel 1 - can't tell he is opening up a door, would be nice framing in a movie though, since in live action you would see the door opening.

too tight in panel four, supposed to show loosely holding hands? Works with the caption though, as they do look nervous.

panel five can't really tell they are in bed.

Can't see the lightning in last panel.


Page 3

panel 2, car sort of does not look like it has been in an accident, supposed to show CC and girl laughing, cracking up, also.

panel 3, should show her hand slapping him, hidden behind his face.

panel 4, not sure it looks like rain there.

panel 5, supposed to show girl from panel five, page one, but do not get that impression since they are in silhouette.

panel 6, I see the holding hands, but it looks like their hips have gotten huge.

of course, with captions it would be easier to follow, but I looked at the pages first, then compared it to the script, and noticed the above points.


on a side note does anyone else think that his gutters are too small?

[Steev]

Wilfredo's pages are awesome......mine will be up sometime tonight.

~nick
I'm looking forward to seeing this!

[Yu-mon]

Or maybe because they don't have a scanner in their houses so they need to wait til monday morning to scan it in a lan house. :(


Caio, Boa sorte
Mesmo com essa dificuldade básica que todos nós temos, de não ter um scanner em casa, sei que achará uma a tempo, estamos no aguardo e na torcida.

Abraços


My comment Wilfredo Torres (sorry my english no is good... my comment = portugueses brazil)

Trabalho de sombreamento bem detalhado, em cor magenta, é simples sem poluir as imgs, mas os sombreamentos utilizados em nanquim deixa um pouco confuso na hora de diferenciar o que é rachura das dobras das roupas com a sombra da mesma.
Estilo do traço lembra muito os quadrinhos dos anos 80.
Pág 02 e 03 o traço fica parecendo muito com traço de rascunho de quadrinho, dando a impressão que não é o traçado final.
Pág 03 os quadros ficaram um pouco confusos, se alguém ver elas sem ler o roteiro não iria entender direito que situação está se passando, muitas imgs podem ser bem entendidas sem o uso de balões, esse não é o caso da página 03.
(desculpem-me caso esteja escrevendo alguma besteira, mas este é o meu ponto de vista).

[Kaishounashi]

Use babelfish for your next comments, Yu-mon. :)

I think that Wilfredo's art suit better this style. I don't like his previous pages, but these seems nice for me.

[mytymark]

ey, congrats to wilfredo for being the first to put up his pages! lovely pages! very indie and i think it really works for something like an autobiographical story! and the washes are just icing on it! goodluck man!

cant wait for the other 7:)

[polystyleneman]

Isn't it a bad sign that only one person Wilfredo Torres has posted his work when it is now Sunday 9:34pm EST? There's only about 14 hours more but still.

Maybe Wilfredo will win by default. ;)

[kalorama]

Isn't it a bad sign that only one person Wilfredo Torres has posted his work when it is now Sunday 9:34pm EST? There's only about 14 hours more but still.

Presumably not all of the contestants live in the Eastern time zone. Some of them can still have several hours to work, still get to bed at a reasonable hour, and get up in the morning and put a few more hours in.

[the goddamn batman]

server hickup.

[the goddamn batman]

Well goddamn you guys... all these pages are fucking beautiful!:)

I think this script was a bit more suited to the styles of the three who've posted so far.

Charles and Jon, those are fantstic! I'd love to see them inked.

[Gonzogoose]

Some great entries already from all four so far! My favorite at this point is Charles'. While all three of the others did a great job, I just like his storytelling better.

[Vig]

CP Wilson III's work is wonderful. The pacing, layout, atmosphere and mainly how the character's elicit emotion is tops. A huge improvement from Round 1.

[BADunn]

Charles gets extra points for lettering and titling his pages! I think that without them, however, I'd still be able to understand what was going on (once I realized that this wasn't all happening at one time with one girl)

[Justice41]

Wilson's pages are sweet.

[sjpress]

I agree, Charles, those pages are phenom.

[Fodaum]

Sorry my english... its very bad.

Wilson's work is very good... the best.

But, I want look the work´s Caio.

For me, Wilson and Caio are best.

[Muddy Waters]

Many strong works this round. IMHO, Wilson's, McDaid's e Oliveira's were the best.

[bong]

caio and charles are great.

impressive expessions on ciao's. and he gets my vote :)

[Caio Oliveira]

Hey, what happens to my thread??? :confused:

[Maresk]

Boy, Dan McDaid rules so much it hurts. The guy is simply in another league.
I'm very impressed by Jon Reed also.

See, I believe this is the kind of story Mr. LaFrance would have excelled at. It's a pity he's gone. I hope he gives this a shot on the Play at Home.

[CPWilsonIII]

Boy, Dan McDaid rules so much it hurts. The guy is simply in another league.
I'm very impressed by Jon Reed also.

man, i agree! but i still haven't come to terms with his last name being mcdaid, not mccaid. the drama!:)

[Physicdesigns]

dan, another leaugue? hes good but i think you just prefer his style. almost all these guys have skills. and yeah seems caio thread disapeared, maybe they're moving it or something.

[azubird]

Nick P gets my vote. The story telling and his style are tops.

[Patchanka]

What exactly happened with Caio's post?

[J. Torres]

Hey, what happens to my thread??? :confused:

Check your e-mail and get get back to me a.s.a.p. please ;)

Note to everyone: more "technical difficulties"! But we're working on it!

[Mateus]

Wilson's work in this round is just amazing! The only problem I see is the bed panel, that I think no-one has captured the moment described in the script yet. At least I think Wilson got closer...

Another very good one was McDaid's, following his great worrk from round one.

Just waiting to see Caio's now, I got a glimpse of it but closed by mistake before really looking at them, and when I tried to find the thread again it was already gone!

[davidbovey]

Just waiting to see Caio's now, I got a glimpse of it but closed by mistake before really looking at them, and when I tried to find the thread again it was already gone!

Still waiting to see Joh James' entry as well.

[joshm]

Charles and Nick, you both did extremely well.

[J. Torres]

Update:

Jose just checked in with me and is trying his luck with the FTP now.

Caio is sending me his art to upload for him and he should be re-posting his thread shortly thereafter.

(CBR is now hosting everyone's images so we're still working out the process with everyone.)

[jpolacek]

Wow, CPW killed it! He really stepped it up from the last round.

[polystyleneman]

Overall I'd say that these are generally better than the first round. I think these styles might be more suited to this kind of work. I'm curious to see what these people do with Superheros is this contest ever goes in that directions.

I'll have to look at them a bit more before I make any critiques or comments.

[kalorama]

It looks like everyone is adjusting to the "deadline pressure" a bit and producing work more in line with the quality of their original samples. Much better work all around this round (at least the ones I've been able to see; still a couple of MIAs). Charles Paul Wilson really nailed this one down tight. Layout, storytelling, draftsmanship. Even the lettering is excellent. Great job.

[armornsilversreak]

HOLDER/ McDAID in '08!!!

Honestly could their pages be more perfect? Maybe but don't expect me to say where. lot's of love for the duo.

[davidbovey]

Jose Holder's pages for this round are "ill". IMO, he's had the most interesting layouts and easily the best drawn stuff in both rounds. The only question this round is whether on not he would stick to the script.

Top notch.

[vwhatley]

Wilfredo, Outstanding work with the story and an awesome style... all the pages transition well to the end. Can't wait to see more of your work... Page 2 - lovely girl face. I am enjoying your art...Bravo!!:)

[Nick Pitarra]

Man! All of my fellow contestants did awesome! This is just disgusting...I can't even pick a favorite. Killer stuff....its getting to the point where there is no room for error.

Thanks for the love up top joshM and azubird!

All the best,
nick

[jasonbaroody]

everyone seems to have stepped it up this round.:)
but nick, cpw3 really kicked @$$ on these pages!

[J. Torres]

At four minutes before the deadline, everyone was present and accounted for!

Great work, idols. I really mean it when I say you ALL did great with this assignment. C.B.'s going to have a tough time picking ONE of you to publish...

[Patchanka]

OK, my two cents.

Everyone made a great job, but CPW3, obviously, made the most impressive one (even if he slipped out from the script a lot, IMHO). Congratulations, Charles!

But I have to make an observation: maybe I didn't pay much attention, but... Was Caio the only one to note that C.B.'s memories were in different moments in his life, so he should be wearing different clothes? :D

[JuanCam]

Great job to all...Particularly: Caio Oliveira, Charles Paul Wilson III and Wilfredo Torres...This Trio Rocks...they really stepped up to the plate and produced a quality-excellent work with limited time...congrats.

[DanielSchenstrom]

There's improvement across the board this round. I'm going to have to really have a close look at each of them to determine who to vote for.

Now it's gettin exciting!

[AdamWalmsley]

A lot of good ones this time, but Charles' use of different shots and use of lettering placement kinda blew me away.

And I don't have a problem with anybody drawing him wearing the same clothes throughout the story with it being a memory and all. You could say it's just how he's remembering himself.

[kalorama]

But I have to make an observation: maybe I didn't pay much attention, but... Was Caio the only one to note that C.B.'s memories were in different moments in his life, so he should be wearing different clothes? :D

His clothes do change to some degree in most of the entries, even if it's only taking off the jacket when he's in bed. The jacket does seem to prevail, but in most of them we can't see what shirt he's wearing underneath. And let's face it, it would hardly be a shock for a teenage boy to wear the same jacket to school everyday.

[Fodaum]

Caio and Wilson - masters of universe.

[Mateus]

Finally! Great work by Jose Holder, my 3rd favorite this round, Wilson being my 2nd favorite and my 1st again Caio, of course! He did the best work on those three first panels, specially the first one, that all the others had trouble making clear that was an actual game and not just cheerleaders jumping. And I think he got the right faces on the bed scene! Just amazing!

Four of the contestants are really amazing this round: Caio, Charles, Jose and Dan. I think the other four are clearly behind those four, though there's some good in all of them. Already looking forward for next round!

[Fodaum]

"Finally! Great work by Jose Holder, my 3rd favorite this round, Wilson being my 2nd favorite and my 1st again Caio, of course! He did the best work on those three first panels, specially the first one, that all the others had trouble making clear that was an actual game and not just cheerleaders jumping. And I think he got the right faces on the bed scene! Just amazing!"

Concordo em tudo e mais um pouco.

hahahahaha

[joelcook]

Finally! Great work by Jose Holder, my 3rd favorite this round, Wilson being my 2nd favorite and my 1st again Caio, of course! He did the best work on those three first panels, specially the first one, that all the others had trouble making clear that was an actual game and not just cheerleaders jumping. And I think he got the right faces on the bed scene! Just amazing!

quoted for truth... Good Job Caio!... especially in panel 3... man, that does look like the 80s.

[kalorama]

I feel like I should also give a nod to Jose Holder. I liked his illustrative style last round, but felt like his layout and storytelling wasn't working. Clearly not a problem this time. These pages read much better than his round one sub, and the drawing has a lot more personality that helps sell the narrative.

[escapegoat]

Everyone did aces this round. It's gonna be hard to make a decision.

And check out Daniel L's submission in the Play-at-Home thread. He really knocked it out of the park too! ;)

[W.Blankenship]

Wilfredo has my vote this round so far. I think his is excellently done and the style hits the nail just perfectly.

3!LL

[Patrick_McEvoy]

Once again, I find I could just stare at Jose's work all day. Great drawing goes a long way with me. The car crash panel didn't work at all, I'm afraid, but otherwise it was all spot-on gorgeous.

In fact most of the entries this week really shine. It's nice to see so many artists who can do more than action-hero stuff.

[R Santos Jr]

Simply phenomenal. All 8 of these entries are on a completely different level than everything that's been posted in the competition thus far.

I'm going to let the awe wash out of my system first... then I'll be back later to yell at people at length over really minor details. XD
(Mostly having to do with you guys drawing expressions for C.B. OTHER than "wiseguy-smirk"... FULL RANGE OF EMOTION, guys...)

But like I said, REALLY minor gripes. Amazing artwork is amazing. I AM AMAZED.

[mightyfineline]

I'm going to let the awe wash out of my system first...

I've heard that Cranberry juice is really good for that.

[Jay Figgs]

But I have to make an observation: maybe I didn't pay much attention, but... Was Caio the only one to note that C.B.'s memories were in different moments in his life, so he should be wearing different clothes? :D


Once again, my favorite was Caio.
Excelent work on body language and facial expressions (the scene with CB on the bed is absolutely priceless), great, GREAT linework (and this time he used blacks a lot more efficiently), and he totally captured the 80's feel. HE gets points for sticking very closely to the script (for example, his was one of the few entries that depicted the girl on the driving seat of the car).

Also, I think the fact that his CB's wearing different clothes totally adds to the story, it gives it the feel of passing time, and I think that made a lot of difference.

Dan McDaid also delivered great work, I love the way he finishes the pages. My only criticism is that I think he could have taken a few more chances with the panel arrangements and camera angles, his pages layouts look a little bit...monotonous, IMO.

Beautiful work also by Charles Wilson, love his linework.

And I agree with escapegoat, Daniel Lafrance's pages on the play-at-home thread are fantastic!

[R Santos Jr]

I've heard that Cranberry juice is really good for that.
I sure hope de-awe-ing doesn't leave a burning sensation...

[mightyfineline]

I sure hope de-awe-ing doesn't leave a burning sensation...

The burning sensation is usually a result of 'shock' and 'awe' so I think you should be okay but moving forward, remember to wear protection especially when viewing artwork in 'public' forums. You never know where some of these folks have been. :D

[escapegoat]

As, I mentioned. Everyone did a lot better job this time around and learned not to deviate too much from the script like they did last round. Everyone layed out the pages really well. There won't be as much to critique on this time around as there was in the first round.

Wilfredo Torres
The storytelling is good, but it seems that a lot of details mentioned in the script aren't quite there (The lightning at the end of page 2, the laughing faces in the minor car accident). Artistically, you're a lot looser this round, which works okay in the context of the type of story being told, but some other details also aernt' clear (the rain on page 3).The silhouetting at the end really doesn't work that well because we don't get the reference that the girl in the final panels is the same girl in panels 6 and 7 on the first page.

Jon Reed
Nicely done. Loved the second panel on the third page. Missed out on using the same girl on the last two panels that was on page 1. I didn't like how the two characters had their backs to the lightning at the end of page 2 - it just doesn't capture what was in the script at all to me. That would be only major thing that I would change.

Charles Paul Wilson III
Awesome..just awesome. I was wondering if any of you guys were gonna letter their submissions this round, and you did a great job on it. It brings the story out a lot more because it's so dependant on scene-to-scene transitions between panels. Caught me offguard with combining the fourth panel on page 1 with the title of the story - a good way of working that title in.

Nick Pitarra
Haha..that opening shot made me laugh out loud. A subtle way to bring out the sexual undertones of the story (I had an idea of laying out this scene where we would see a mid-close-up shot of the rearends of the cheerleaders to bring out that idea). Love the mascot. Good storytelling here. A couple of odd things stood out to me. On page 2, panel 2, I was wondering why the girl was carrying a tire iron until I remembered what it was suppose to be. And the sleeves on the girl in the last panels just seemed odd - I grew up in that era and don't ever remember anyone wearing sleeves like that....may be a few years off on that.

Andrew Huerta
Some good stuff here. I feel it's an improvement from your last round, but I found page 2 relied on waaeay too many silhouetted figures. I found it detracted from the page storytelling-wise, as well as breaking the pace of the story as a whole. I thought that you depicted the stoner checks on page 1 the best of everyone here.

Dan McDaid
More awesomeness from you. Nothing I can say that I found wrong, other than that your style almost makes it feel like the story could have taken place in the 60's.

Jose Holder
Loved it. Your linework is amazing. Again, nothing I can say that was really wrong. Loved the third panel on the second page.

Caio Oliveira
To me, it's a huge improvement from your submission last round, which shows your worthiness to the competition. Your storytelling is way much better here. You caught the fifth panel on page 2 dead-on perfectly.

[shwa96]

Everyone made a great job, but CPW3, obviously, made the most impressive one (even if he slipped out from the script a lot, IMHO).

What slips are you talking about? The only deviation I see from the script is putting panel 4 of page 1 next to the title rather than as an inset to panel 3, and I think that was quite a nice choice. You could maybe say he took a little license with page 3 panel 4, giving us a perspective on the shot from within the garage, but I think that was also a nice choice. You get the impression that her family is moving, so you get a motivation for the emotion. He added to, didn't deviate from. No visible lightning in page 2 panel 6 maybe? I got the impression he implied the lightning with the sharp contrast of bright light and dark shadows at night. We don't actually need to see a bolt of lighting to know it's there. Wilson is giving the reader enough credit to understand the panel without spelling everything out. It will be more apparent in inks, and certainly in colors if these were to be colored.

That said, it should come as no surprise...C.P. Wilson had the best pages of the round...hands down, no room for argument. They were just good. No one else came close. And, hey, if the penciling doesn't work out, he's got a future as a letterer.

In a distant but also a very solid and solitary second is Dan McDaid. I can't think of a single thing wrong with McDaid's. Again, he's professional grade, and he's shown it.

But while McDaid is pro, Wilson just stands out. I'll be shocked if these don't see print.

[JimmyDee]

I am absolutely blown away by the entries this week. Some really phenomenal stuff.

Let's start with the bad and end with the good -- sadly, I think Andrew and Wilfredo were the least effective this week, but only by a short margin. There are some anatomy problems and layout issues in both their entries, but frankly they could likely be fixed by a second pass. There's no doubt these guys will likely end up as pro comic artists, but their entries this week fell short.

The Good -- Caio and Dan were the tops this week. Dan continues to impress the hell out of me and he'll be getting my vote this week. He's taken a splash from Dawryn Cooke & Francisco Espinosa, then mixed it up with his own sensibility. I'd very much like to see where he goes with his art in the years to come. Dan gets my vote this week, once again.

[Brandon Hanvey]

I'm glad a lot of the contestants improved over last week.

I had a few things I was looking to see how the contestants would handle with this script.


The layout and pacing of the story.
Not using standard super-hero layouts and angles.
Drawing the characters as teenagers and not short adults.
Showing the shifting of time.


Some did better than others.

[polystyleneman]

I think my favorites so far this week are:

Patrick

Ciao

and

Charles Wilson III


and everyone else has made a better impression on me than last week.

[shwa96]

Jose Holder's pages for this round are "ill". IMO, he's had the most interesting layouts and easily the best drawn stuff in both rounds. The only question this round is whether on not he would stick to the script.

Honestly, I was less impressed with these pages than his first round ones. While those pages had a number of editorial problems, they were beautiful. Take his last page of round 1 for instance. While he shouldn't have shown the explosion on the page, he managed to lay out a perfectly executed page that draws your eye downward and then leads it back up. That's very difficult to do.

Then we get these pages, and they're just kind of bland. I almost wonder if he wasn't so careful to follow the script that he forgot to let his style into it.

I still think he's got the talent. He just needs to find the right balance.

I hope he doesn't take my criticisms the wrong way. I realize I've spent a lot of time writing about his various problems, but I only bother to write about them because I think they're worth fixing. If I wasn't saying anything either way, that would be a different story.

Incidentally, page 3 panel 2 doesn't look like a car accident. It looks like they could just be parking. And panels 5 and 6 are switched. The close up on the hands should be last.

[escapegoat]

And panels 5 and 6 are switched. The close up on the hands should be last.

Ooooo...I missed that. Plus the fact that the 2 panels don't help define that we're seeing CB with the same girl from the end of page 1.

[Goyo]

Caio Olivera and Dan McDaid, congratulations for your great jobs. I also enjoyed Wilfredo Torres for this "slower pace" comic sequence.

In my opinion, these are the best works for this second round. In any case, there isn't any work that is way behind those three, so the competition will be great to follow.

[davidbovey]

Then we get these pages, and they're just kind of bland. I almost wonder if he wasn't so careful to follow the script that he forgot to let his style into it.

I think it's much easier to be dynamic with an action script than it is with a script like this. But I feel that his layouts are just as interesting in this round as they were in round one. The design sense is still evident and IMO much more bold and inventive than the others.

Incidentally, page 3 panel 2 doesn't look like a car accident. It looks like they could just be parking.

The car accident would be the only thing that stuck out to me as a failure in his pages in this round. Absolutely agree with you there.

[shwa96]

Ooooo...I missed that. Plus the fact that the 2 panels don't help define that we're seeing CB with the same girl from the end of page 1.

If they were in the right order, the fact that the close up follows the wider establishing shot is enough to tell us it's the same girl, but when they get switched like this, the panel just gets orphaned.

[polystyleneman]

So, like the Comanche helicopter, I've noticed that very few of the official contestants did the research on what a 1985 Honda Accord actually looked like.

[escapegoat]

If they were in the right order, the fact that the close up follows the wider establishing shot is enough to tell us it's the same girl, but when they get switched like this, the panel just gets orphaned.

Well, it's not just that. He's got them silhouetted in his last panel as well. CB could pretty much be with any of the girls shown from the last three pages.

That said, I still found the pages to still reflect his dynamic style, but reasonably toned down to an acceptable point for a story of this nature.

[shwa96]

I think it's much easier to be dynamic with an action script than it is with a script like this. But I feel that his layouts are just as interesting in this round as they were in round one. The design sense is still evident and IMO much more bold and inventive than the others.

I would agree that it's easier to make an action script dynamic, but that's the challenge. Even the most action-oriented book is not going to be a fight scene on every page.

[The French Touch]

Once again, it's Dan McDaid that wins it for me.

[Mark Cardwell]

Well, this was always going to be a challenge for some of the more "super-heroey" artists, and yeah, some of them blew it big time.

And this was maybe the one where Dan McDaid really got to show his versatility. Great work.

[Kalyan Pokala]

Wilson blew me away!

McDaid : reading the script, it's clear there should be an era-appropriateness. It looks like it's the 50s not the early 90s. Strike 1.

Then, the girl is the one driving the car, unless we're in Britain, how is she driving the car if she's in the left part of the panel? Strike 2.

I still dig your style, but this isn't up to my expectations. I wondered how you would handle the appropriateness of the era with your style, and I'm sad to say you didn't handle it well at all.

[Mateus]

And I agree with escapegoat, Daniel Lafrance's pages on the play-at-home thread are fantastic!
Really good work from him and some others, the play-at-home thread also got a lot better this round! Last round I looked at them and said "oh, so that's why they didn't get in...":D but now there's a lot of good stuff there!

[Muddy Waters]

Loved Jose Holder pages. They got that old Warren comics feel. His artwork looks like a blend of Walt Simonson and Alex Nino.

IMHO, everybody in the contes is great in his own way, but Caio Oliveira, Dan McDaid, CP Wilson and Jose Holder are tops. They're ready to work as professionals.

[davidbovey]

I would agree that it's easier to make an action script dynamic, but that's the challenge. Even the most action-oriented book is not going to be a fight scene on every page.

True, however my point is that Jose produced pages that are still very interesting to look at visually considering the subject matter. More so than the others, but that is just my opinion.

[polystyleneman]

Wilson blew me away!

McDaid : reading the script, it's clear there should be an era-appropriateness. It looks like it's the 50s not the early 90s. Strike 1.

Then, the girl is the one driving the car, unless we're in Britain, how is she driving the car if she's in the left part of the panel? Strike 2.

I still dig your style, but this isn't up to my expectations. I wondered how you would handle the appropriateness of the era with your style, and I'm sad to say you didn't handle it well at all.

And while I'm not a fan of Dan in particular, I thought he did a pretty good job of telling the story this time. He exceeded my expectations.

[jpolacek]

Some of the guys made a mistake doing inks. Why do a rush job on the inks? You only wind up taking away from your pencils. Better to spend your time on composition, making sure your anatomy is right and doing really tight pencils.

[kalorama]

Some of the guys made a mistake doing inks. Why do a rush job on the inks? You only wind up taking away from your pencils. Better to spend your time on composition, making sure your anatomy is right and doing really tight pencils.

That's not necessarily true for all artists. Some artists don't do tight pencils. They do rough layouts and then do a good bit of finishing drawing in the inks. What makes the best working method for one artists isn't necessarily true for others. It's up to each individual to decide the best working method for his strengths.

[jpolacek]

That's not necessarily true for all artists. Some artists don't do tight pencils. They do rough layouts and then do a good bit of finishing drawing in the inks. What makes the best working method for one artists isn't necessarily true for others. It's up to each individual to decide the best working method for his strengths.

Never said it was true for all the artists. But some of these guys do better pencils than inks. Either because they are rushed, or they are not as good at inking.

Specifically, I think Torres does nice tight pencils, but this round he did inking. Maybe some might like the loose inking style he did, but for me it was too loose. I think he's better off doing tight pencils than loose inks. Maybe that's just me.

For Holder, I can't tell if he's doing inks with a marker or he's just got really contrasted scans of his pencils. If he's doing inks, then he could vary his line weights more and spot blacks. In either case, he could tighten up his lines (especially if inking). Sometimes his linework does a great job of defining the figures and backgrounds, but in other spots it seems rushed.

For both artists, I think they do nice layouts, have appealing styles and are highly skilled. Just suggesting some tweaking.

CPW's pages exemplify what I'm talking about. His pencils are tight and every line has purpose.

[polystyleneman]

I can't believe in all of these submissions, I didn't see a single person decked out in Vision Street Wear!

[Mark Cardwell]

Wilson blew me away!

McDaid : reading the script, it's clear there should be an era-appropriateness. It looks like it's the 50s not the early 90s. Strike 1.

Then, the girl is the one driving the car, unless we're in Britain, how is she driving the car if she's in the left part of the panel? Strike 2.

I still dig your style, but this isn't up to my expectations. I wondered how you would handle the appropriateness of the era with your style, and I'm sad to say you didn't handle it well at all.

Your first point is rendered fairly moot by the fact that Dan draws the various crowd scenes with period correct details, like the dude with the Kid'n'Play style haircut, and the grungey kid with denim cut-offs, anti-nuke T-shirt and white dreads. Plus, as we all know, the preppy style means that a lot of American youth fashions have remained unchanged from the fifties straight through. The script mentions cheerleader uniforms, field hockey uniforms, plaid shirts, soccer jackets - all classic stuff.

Your second point starts fair enough - he's switched the female from driver (as it says in the script) to passenger. So did Andrew Huerta, I see (two others fudged it completely - Wilfredo Torres, Jon Reed). But at least Dan (and Andrew) look like they've got the grille of a '85 Accord right. Though if your initial point was in any way correct, McDaid would have drawn a smashed-up Plymouth Twin.

Also, Kalyan - there's plenty of other countries as well as Britain that have the steering wheel on the right. Just sayin', in case you ever want to visit Guyana, Japan, The Bahamas, etc, etc, etc. You don't want to go pulling a Matthew Broderick!

[Kaishounashi]

My personal favorite in this round is Holder(i don't want the terrorism winning the war :D ) But Caio and Dan Mccaid make awesome pages too, IMHO.

[polystyleneman]

Since this is autobiographical, I'd be curious to hear C.B. comment on anyone (from the official submissions OR the play-at-homers) who rendered a particular girl close to what she actually looked like, or dressed someone as they were in real life when something happened, or otherwise drew something the closest to how he remembered it or pictured it when he wrote it.

[Hieu Le Bui]

I said it before and I'll say it again. Jose Holder has my vote. Wow. :D

[Kalyan Pokala]

1) I was born in England lived there and hold a UK passport, I know what side the steering wheel is on there. And you ignore the fact that McDaid put the steering wheel on the left and had him out of the car. You don't think those deviations from the script aren't a problem?
2) You really think preppy hasn't changed over the years? I think it has changed substantially over the years. While McDaid inserts age appropriate t-shirts, the over-all feel is much further in the past than what CB says. The first panel of the first page sets the tone. You're going to tell me early 90s cheerleaders in high school dress like they are USC Song-girls? Yeah, no.
3) I've been to Japan, the odds are, I've been to as many countries as you have, if not more but I won't make that assumption.

For the purposes of being civil, I won't be rude about it, but please don't rush to assumptions about where I am from.

And last but not least, I think very highly of McDaid's work and think he can go all the way: that's why I criticize him.

You're right, Huerta did the same thing. I don't like it either.

[TCC]

i think Caio was impressive in this round... for me, the best one ...

Dan Mcdaid was awesome too...

[Vig]

Wow CAIO! He's my favourite this week. Compared to the others, it feels like the 80's, his pacing is very good and loved the character moments.

Dan's work is good but it feels more like the 50's than 80's.

[AzIz]

Wow CAIO! He's my favourite this week. Compared to the others, it feels like the 80's, his pacing is very good and loved the character moments.

Dan's work is good but it feels more like the 50's than 80's.

I think Dan's style will have a tendency of doing that. That style always invokes a certain time period.

[Vig]

I think Dan's style will have a tendency of doing that. That style always invokes a certain time period.


True. I just expected the clothing to be somewhat authentic of the decade. But overall, the storytelling is really good.

Yours is not too shabby either.:)

[mattx110]

holder's going nuts with the angles and doing a good job of showing that he can draw like a sonuvagun. which is definitely a good strategy for an art contest.

and i think andrew huerta's second page is one of the most beautiful things i've seen. umm, i guess i can just go: Hey, Andrew, your second page is awesome. the rest is good too, but i feel the second one necessitates special mention.

and kalyan, given that someone is in the car, dan mcdaid deviating from the script by putting him out of the car wasn't a cheat to avoid drawing a person in a car, and doesn't ruin the scene in any way, and maybe he felt it was easier to show a guy laughing when he had some body language available. i don't think it's a big deal, and is less than the scripts have been deviated from to good effect in the last round. it's all up to opinion though.

[cg_maniac]

and kalyan, given that someone is in the car, dan mcdaid deviating from the script by putting him out of the car wasn't a cheat to avoid drawing a person in a car, and doesn't ruin the scene in any way, and maybe he felt it was easier to show a guy laughing when he had some body language available. i don't think it's a big deal, and is less than the scripts have been deviated from to good effect in the last round. it's all up to opinion though.

I think the point is that the girl is supposed to be driving, and McDaid drew it with the guy driving.

we'll see if the author thinks it is a big deal, I guess.

[Maxmen Chuen]

Art-wise, Jose Holder's pages grabbed me the most, but his switching of the last two panels in the third page is really bad, especially since this time round there're dialogs to consider. I think the judges will certainly superimpose the dialogs onto the art to see how it works, and that it'll be a large chunk of their final decisions.

About the driving thing, I noticed that Andrew Huerta also had CB in the driving seat.

MC

[C.B. Cebulski]

Since this is autobiographical, I'd be curious to hear C.B. comment on anyone (from the official submissions OR the play-at-homers) who rendered a particular girl close to what she actually looked like, or dressed someone as they were in real life when something happened, or otherwise drew something the closest to how he remembered it or pictured it when he wrote it.

I'm super impressed with what everyone did here! All the work is amazing!

I was waiting for the other judges to post and critique first, but I guess they were waiting for me.

My specifics comments on each of the submissions will be going up shortly.

Thanks to every who participated! You all rock!

Take care,
C.B.

[DJeevan]

The improvment from the last round is remarkable...!!

I personally found the pages from Charles and Jon incredible because of their use of shadows and line rhythm, but my vote goes to Jose Holder once again for pages that simply blew me away...

I thought he was highly underrated the first round, with so many crits on deviation - especially his establishing shot, that I found a lot more exciting to see in the reflection of the pilot, and all the other tweaks seemed to help the story...

But for this round, not only does he have the most exciting and original angles, but his knowledge of perspective, anatomy, lighting and overall composition is unparalleled!!

[Jay Figgs]

The improvment from the last round is remarkable...!!

I personally found the pages from Charles and Jon incredible because of their use of shadows and line rhythm, but my vote goes to Jose Holder once again for pages that simply blew me away...

I thought he was highly underrated the first round, with so many crits on deviation - especially his establishing shot, that I found a lot more exciting to see in the reflection of the pilot, and all the other tweaks seemed to help the story...

May I respectfully disagree?
I did think it was a very creative idea for tweaking the estabilishing shot, but it was, IMHO, poorly executed, as you could barely make out any of the elements that would effectively show us where the action was taking place.

But for this round, not only does he have the most exciting and original angles, but his knowledge of perspective, anatomy, lighting and overall composition is unparalleled!!

Again, I must disagree - His linework is truly beautiful (he reminds me of a *very* pleasant mix of Michael Kaluta and Michael Zulli), and he comes up with really creative shots but, IMO, his pages have some flaws I think are rather serious.

For example, he omits a lot of what the script details, like in page 1, panel 5, where we only know it's the school hall because we know the script. Or panel 5 in page 2, where the script explicitly mentions CB being embarrased, but the scene portrayed doesn't convey embarassment at all. And, most grave, IMO, is the last panel of page 3, which not only has been switched with the previous panel, but should show us who the girl he's holdign hands with is, and doesn't. The car scene also doesn't look like a car crash at all, despite the beautiful linework shown.

[Patrick_McEvoy]

But for this round, not only does he have the most exciting and original angles, but his knowledge of perspective, anatomy, lighting and overall composition is unparalleled!!


Again, I must disagree - His linework is truly beautiful (he reminds me of a *very* pleasant mix of Michael Kaluta and Michael Zulli), and he comes up with really creative shots but, IMO, his pages have some flaws I think are rather serious.

For example, he omits a lot of what the script details, like in page 1, panel 5, where we only know it's the school hall because we know the script. Or panel 5 in page 2, where the script explicitly mentions CB being embarrased, but the scene portrayed doesn't convey embarassment at all. And, most grave, IMO, is the last panel of page 3, which not only has been switched with the previous panel, but should show us who the girl he's holdign hands with is, and doesn't. The car scene also doesn't look like a car crash at all, despite the beautiful linework shown.

I read this several times and I can't figure out where you are disagreeing with the statement that Jose has the best anatomy, lighting, perspective and composition. (I think he does too, btw!) He messed up some storytelling aspects, which is very important for comics work and you point them out appropriately. But that doesn't negate the fact that he's a top-notch draftsman.

I'm going to vote for Jose again in this round for just that reason - superior drawing skills - and hope that he can move on to the next round get the chance to take these crits about his storytelling to heart. Jose, if you're reading this: please pay more attention to the scripts! I like your art to much to see you fail because of that. :)

[polystyleneman]

I read this several times and I can't figure out where you are disagreeing with the statement that Jose has the best anatomy, lighting, perspective and composition. (I think he does too, btw!) He messed up some storytelling aspects, which is very important for comics work and you point them out appropriately. But that doesn't negate the fact that he's a top-notch draftsman.

I'm going to vote for Jose again in this round for just that reason - superior drawing skills - and hope that he can move on to the next round get the chance to take these crits about his storytelling to heart. Jose, if you're reading this: please pay more attention to the scripts! I like your art to much to see you fail because of that. :)

I don't think that anyone here would argue that Jose has some of the best rendering capabilities among the contestants, however comic books isn't (or at least shouldn't be) about just drawing pretty pictures. It's not unfair for us to consider that some of the other people might be better at telling a story. Personally, I think Jose is fantastic at drawing but the jury is out on whether comics are is medium.

[DJeevan]

May I respectfully disagree?
I did think it was a very creative idea for tweaking the estabilishing shot, but it was, IMHO, poorly executed, as you could barely make out any of the elements that would effectively show us where the action was taking place.



Again, I must disagree - His linework is truly beautiful (he reminds me of a *very* pleasant mix of Michael Kaluta and Michael Zulli), and he comes up with really creative shots but, IMO, his pages have some flaws I think are rather serious.

For example, he omits a lot of what the script details, like in page 1, panel 5, where we only know it's the school hall because we know the script. Or panel 5 in page 2, where the script explicitly mentions CB being embarrased, but the scene portrayed doesn't convey embarassment at all. And, most grave, IMO, is the last panel of page 3, which not only has been switched with the previous panel, but should show us who the girl he's holdign hands with is, and doesn't. The car scene also doesn't look like a car crash at all, despite the beautiful linework shown.

I understand what you mean for both explanations, but also think that those elements are subjective...for example, I agree that some people may barely recognize the elements of the first establishing shot of the reflection, but I didn't...and clearly saw where he was headed. So that one is on me.

I also feel that way about the recognition of the school hall and the girls hand. I do agree with you about the scene not conveying enough embarassment though. As for the car crash, I actually checked out all the pages without reading the script first, and it read perfectly for me.

As for the rest, I still stand strongly on the fact that his anatomy, draftmanship, perspective, energy and compostion are top notch and above the rest. Out of all the entries, his is the only one that oozes of professionalism. You can look at his work and easily understand that this guy could draw everything and anything from any angle demanded. Its hard to find that kind of raw skill and talent.

[mightyfineline]

Personally, I think Jose is fantastic at drawing but the jury is out on whether comics are his medium.

I have to admit to being kind of baffled by comments like these. Honestly, I don't think there should be any debate about that at all.

[polystyleneman]

I have to admit to being kind of baffled by comments like these. Honestly, I don't think there should be any debate about that at all.

I only say this because any fault thats been directed at him has been in relation to the story and comics are largely about storytelling. I have no doubts or knocks about his drawing ability.

Like everyone else here, he's got his strengths and weaknesses and I'm anxious to see what he produces as the rounds go on.

[azubird]

i think everyone did a great job this round but Nick Pitarra really nailed it. really clean lines and his style is awesome. really fun stuff. Nick definately gets my vote!

[Kalyan Pokala]

Everyone has their own opinions.

For example Caio seems to be very popular but there is just something off to me in the way he draws people, especially women.

Is that wrong? Art is very personal, some people love so and so's art, and hate others, and that's how it will always be.

Personally, story-telling is the most important to me, followed by a variety of other factors.

I usually vote for those who are the best story-tellers in each round. I also like things like adherence to the script and the era-appropriateness. I know I really liked the way Wilson added the words, and did this sweet torn notebook look for the captions.

[davidbovey]

I have to admit to being kind of baffled by comments like these. Honestly, I don't think there should be any debate about that at all.

I agree.

I think it's more than obvious that comics are his medium. Easily, and when you have someone like Marc Silvestri comment that he'd like to have you around the studio... it makes it even more evident.

[mightyfineline]

I only say this because any fault thats been directed at him has been in relation to the story and comics are largely about storytelling. I have no doubts or knocks about his drawing ability.

True but I think one of the things that people are either forgetting or are unaware of in as far as the actual process is that the finalists as well as the Play At Home crowd are all doing this stuff on a first pass. We have one day basically to plot out our pages, design the layouts and figure out 'what' we're going to draw. Which as any Artist worth his salt will tell you is usually the hardest part. No one likes staring at a blank sheet of paper.

Not making excuses just trying to make sure everyone knows what the playing field is like. ;)

While it might not be industry standard, I think in alot of cases especially with newer talent if we were on an actual assignment we would need to submit thumbnails or layouts to be reviewed by the Editor before going into full pencils. Any potential story deviations or missed opportunities can usually be caught there. Unless I'm mistaken, right now Holder is working in a vacuum - once he starts having to collaborate with Writers and Editors, that story telling will develop. He's already got great instinct and design sense.

In my opinion I don't think it would take very much at all to get Holder working at full on professional level.

[Phil Clark]

Jose brought it this round... and he hasn't lost anything from his submissions art. The dude can draw, has a great style, and can tell a story. Adherence to the script is important, but we don't know at this point if he contacted CB about the panel switch or if CB maybe actually likes what he has done.

I think that Jose may be the one to beat in this competition.

[polystyleneman]

True but I think one of the things that people are either forgetting or are unaware of in as far as the actual process is that the finalists as well as the Play At Home crowd are all doing this stuff on a first pass. We have one day basically to plot out our pages, design the layouts and figure out 'what' we're going to draw. Which as any Artist worth his salt will tell you is usually the hardest part. No one likes staring at a blank sheet of paper.


Trust me, I know. I've been playing along myself and the time constraint and lack of pre-approved layouts is very hampering. But all of the artists have the same time restrictions and I personally feel some of the others have handled certain storytelling aspects better. (And I must admit a certain preference for their styles) Jose could very well go all the way with this and I wouldn't say that we were wronged by the outcome. I'm sure we'll see him working either way.

Right now my votes is going for one of the other artists, but that could always change.

[Brandon Hanvey]

While it might not be industry standard, I think in alot of cases especially with newer talent if we were on an actual assignment we would need to submit thumbnails or layouts to be reviewed by the Editor before going into full pencils. Any potential story deviations or missed opportunities can usually be caught there. Unless I'm mistaken, right now Holder is working in a vacuum - once he starts having to collaborate with Writers and Editors, that story telling will develop. He's already got great instinct and design sense.


This is true. CBI does not really reflect the standard work flow of the comic industry. It does show how the finalists work under tight deadlines and how they work with different kinds of writing styles and scripts.

[Steev]

I'm kind of disappointed that many of the judges wait until the last minute to post anything. The one judge from California is totally understandable (my dad lives near Arrowhead).
I realize they're busy guys but it would help me make my pick if I had more time to mull over their crits. Just a suggestion.

[Brandon Hanvey]

I'm kind of disappointed that many of the judges wait until the last minute to post anything. The one judge from California is totally understandable (my dad lives near Arrowhead).
I realize they're busy guys but it would help me make my pick if I had more time to mull over their crits. Just a suggestion.

We encourage the judges to post their reviews as soon as they can. But we understand that they are busy running publishing companies so some delay may happen.

[Steev]

We encourage the judges to post their reviews as soon as they can. But we understand that they are busy running publishing companies so some delay may happen.
Absolutely. I wasn't knocking them, just making a statement. :)

[mightyfineline]

We encourage the judges to post their reviews as soon as they can. But we understand that they are busy running publishing companies so some delay may happen.

Brandon Hanvey everybody!
Or as I have come to know him, The FTP Pimp!!

[Fodaum]

My favorites so far this week are:

Caio Oliveira

and

Charles Wilson III

"Eles são fodões"

[kymaera]

My rambling comments:

McDaid:
+ The style reminds me a lot of Bruce Timm's work.
+ I like that he did a lot of different styles of characters. Makes it clear that there are multiple women involved in the stories instead of just one.
- The eyes bother me. First, there's a bit of overuse of the one open, one closed pose. Second, the mixture of just dots with a bit more realistic eyes.
- The time period seems more 50's as many have already noted.

Holder:
+ He has some very dynamic panels, like the cheerleader and slapping shots.
- The mixture of style is a bit jarring. For far away shots, things are very smooth and lack detail, but close up, they are very detailed. In particular, on page two, it's hard to tell that the main character is the same because he looks younger far away and much older close up. And on page one, the main character's face blends into something and looks like he has a deformed chin in the next to the last panel.
+/- To illustrate that these are different time periods, he used different clothes, hair styles, etc for the main character. I'm mixed on this. Combined with the above note about apparent gaps in aging, the mixed hair styles (especially parts and lengths) makes it hard to tell from the pencils whether this is one person or multiple similar people.

Oliveira:
+ I like the different clothes on the main character to illustrate the passage of time without major changes in hair style (the weakness of Holder).
+ The clothing and hairstyles really seemed to be from the 80's. I thought that he captured the look well.
+ I like the style in general. Reminds me of Kevin Maguire.
- It would have been stronger to have a bit more differentiation in the women in the first few panels. The blondes in them could easily be the same person. Could be taken care of during coloring (make one a redhead, for example).
- A few of the panels seemed off a bit. In page one, CB's eye just seems wrong to me in the last panel. On page three, the scene with him with the car makes him seem a bit chunkier/goofier than the other pictures.

Huerta:
- Page two is pretty bland. It's hard to tell what's going on in it due to the overuse of shadows.
- My own personal taste here, but the thin slanted eyes on most of the characters with the use of a lot of blacks gives me a real "evil" vibe from them.

Pitarra:
+ The style reminds me of a Geoff Darrow/Scott Kollins sort of work.
+ The women were all quite clearly different.
- I really didn't get an 80's feel at all from this.
- The cheerleaders in the first panel were a bit too gratuitous for the nature of the story.
- Some of the designs were a bit weird. For example, in page two, I thought "Is that a trucker mama or a guy in bed with him?"

Wilson:
+ His designs were consistent and he didn't go overboard with the detailing and make the characters look too old.
+ He diversified the women enough that it was clear that they were different.
+ Very good use of shading to establish the mood, but not overuse.

Reed:
- The pencils were very hard to view.
- I really don't like the style. The characters looks emaciated and old in a lot of the shots. This is particularly bad on CB...he looks 40-50 in some.

Torres:
+ Use of the gray tone really pops out some of the details.
+ Page 1 is very good.
+/- Page 2 is decent, but CB seems a bit heavier in the face than on Page 1.
- Page 3 doesn't work at all. Needs more sky in panel 1. Panel 2 is unclear as to what is happening. Panel 3 is off somehow. The last two panels lack the important detail that it's the same girl from page 1.

My favorite is Wilson easily with McDaid and Oliveira also ranking high. At the bottom would be Reed and Huerta. Pitarra, Torres and Holder all have some nice elements in their work, but inconsistencies or some elements I don't like bring them down.

[Brandon Hanvey]

Brandon Hanvey everybody!
Or as I have come to know him, The FTP Pimp!!

Yeah my Sunday nights/Monday mornings for the next few weeks are going to be fun.

[mightyfineline]

My favorites so far this week are:

Caio Oliveira

and

Charles Wilson III

"Eles são fodões"

Eu penso de você dito isto já uma vez ou duas vezes :D

Sorry, slow day at the office.

[Nick Pitarra]

My rambling comments:

McDaid:
+ The style reminds me a lot of Bruce Timm's work.
+ I like that he did a lot of different styles of characters. Makes it clear that there are multiple women involved in the stories instead of just one.
- The eyes bother me. First, there's a bit of overuse of the one open, one closed pose. Second, the mixture of just dots with a bit more realistic eyes.
- The time period seems more 50's as many have already noted.

Holder:
+ He has some very dynamic panels, like the cheerleader and slapping shots.
- The mixture of style is a bit jarring. For far away shots, things are very smooth and lack detail, but close up, they are very detailed. In particular, on page two, it's hard to tell that the main character is the same because he looks younger far away and much older close up. And on page one, the main character's face blends into something and looks like he has a deformed chin in the next to the last panel.
+/- To illustrate that these are different time periods, he used different clothes, hair styles, etc for the main character. I'm mixed on this. Combined with the above note about apparent gaps in aging, the mixed hair styles (especially parts and lengths) makes it hard to tell from the pencils whether this is one person or multiple similar people.

Oliveira:
+ I like the different clothes on the main character to illustrate the passage of time without major changes in hair style (the weakness of Holder).
+ The clothing and hairstyles really seemed to be from the 80's. I thought that he captured the look well.
+ I like the style in general. Reminds me of Kevin Maguire.
- It would have been stronger to have a bit more differentiation in the women in the first few panels. The blondes in them could easily be the same person. Could be taken care of during coloring (make one a redhead, for example).
- A few of the panels seemed off a bit. In page one, CB's eye just seems wrong to me in the last panel. On page three, the scene with him with the car makes him seem a bit chunkier/goofier than the other pictures.

Huerta:
- Page two is pretty bland. It's hard to tell what's going on in it due to the overuse of shadows.
- My own personal taste here, but the thin slanted eyes on most of the characters with the use of a lot of blacks gives me a real "evil" vibe from them.

Pitarra:
+ The style reminds me of a Geoff Darrow/Scott Kollins sort of work.
+ The women were all quite clearly different.
- I really didn't get an 80's feel at all from this.
- The cheerleaders in the first panel were a bit too gratuitous for the nature of the story.
- Some of the designs were a bit weird. For example, in page two, I thought "Is that a trucker mama or a guy in bed with him?"

Wilson:
+ His designs were consistent and he didn't go overboard with the detailing and make the characters look too old.
+ He diversified the women enough that it was clear that they were different.
+ Very good use of shading to establish the mood, but not overuse.

Reed:
- The pencils were very hard to view.
- I really don't like the style. The characters looks emaciated and old in a lot of the shots. This is particularly bad on CB...he looks 40-50 in some.

Torres:
+ Use of the gray tone really pops out some of the details.
+ Page 1 is very good.
+/- Page 2 is decent, but CB seems a bit heavier in the face than on Page 1.
- Page 3 doesn't work at all. Needs more sky in panel 1. Panel 2 is unclear as to what is happening. Panel 3 is off somehow. The last two panels lack the important detail that it's the same girl from page 1.

My favorite is Wilson easily with McDaid and Oliveira also ranking high. At the bottom would be Reed and Huerta. Pitarra, Torres and Holder all have some nice elements in their work, but inconsistencies or some elements I don't like bring them down.

Thanks for taking the time with this review! You make alot of valid points,and I really enjoyed the simple plus and minus crit system. Great work! Its always a treat when viewers take their time to give some honest opinions and crits. Escape Goat also provides some nice thoughtful (and helpful) crits for everbody. Just wanted you guys to know your time and effort with our crits is really appreciated (and taken to heart).

~nick

[joelcook]

hey....when does voting begin?

nice to see Chris Ryall found time to get some reviews in, given the circumstances.... take care and be safe, Chris.

[Brandon Hanvey]

hey....when does voting begin?

nice to see Chris Ryall found time to get some reviews in, given the circumstances.... take care and be safe, Chris.

Voting usually starts on Wednesday at 12 PM EST (9 AM PST) and goes for 24 hours. But we may hold back the opening the poll by a few hours if we do not have enough judge reviews. The poll would still be open for 24 hours from the start time.

[polystyleneman]

Dan McDaid - First off, I'm not entirely convinced by this guy's work. (I'm sure I'll get kicked in the teeth for expressing this opinion.) I know everyone, including the judges love this guy to death, but as someone who is a big fan of retro styles, and love Bruce Timm's work, I'm just not sure this guy is bringing anything new to the table. That being said, I liked this week's a lot better than last week, and if he keeps up with the storytelling I might just become a fan.

What I like
- the consistency of tone.
- reserved yet effective and strong use of shadow and negative space.
- the storytelling, about as clear as this story can be without words
- the gesture quality of the character renderings
- overall i think this shows his style in a much better light than last week

What I think can be better
- it feels more 50s that late 80s, early 90s, which may be a limitation of the style
- although i like the gestural quality of some of the characters, it also feels unfinished to me and that some of the poses feel less worked out than others, particularly the slapping panel
- the characters look too young, they look closer to middle school in age to me than high school, particularly the smoking deadhead chick.

You made a much better impression on me this week!

Jose Holder- This guy's drawing and rendering abilities are top-notch, no argument there.

What I like
- Strong figure drawing
- Relatively dynamic pages for this style of piece, it's refreshing to not see just rectangular panels
- The amount of detail is sufficient yet not overdone
- The variety of angles chosen, nice call showing the feet in the hallways with the little bit of gum stuck to it
- I like the leaves falling. This is New England, isn't it?
- The line quality. Very nice.

What I think can be better
- There are a few spots where it doesn't match the script which I don't see why it doesn't match, the hockey uniform, the final panel, the girl driving the car
- I'm a big fan of broken borders and some panels without borders, but I agree with the Mr. Ryall in that sometimes they seem to tie into other panels in strange ways.
- In Panel one of page two CB would have to be pretty low in his stance to have the doorknob be where it is. It looks to me like he fell or something.

Overall, very nice job! I like it better than the first week's.

Caio- Very strong, clean, understated style. I like it overall.

What I like-
- Clean lines, strong figure drawing skills.
- I like the strong contrast of the blacks, always a big fan of that.
- The slightly anime-influenced expressions.
- The clothes. They feel very clothes-like.
- It feels like some emotion went into the heart, like you really had similar experiences in mind when you drew it.

What I don't like -
- Some of the facial details look strange to me. Is he wearing eye-liner in the last panel of page 1? And their bottom lips look odd.
- The car in the lightning panel. The perspective always looks distracting when I see it. The sihlouette is so strong and yet the angle of the car looks to intense. If the car is where it is implied to be, there shouldn't be that strong of a difference between the size of the front of the car and the back of the car. It seems to be on a different plane than it should be. I haven't checked the lines or anything but that's just how it looks to me.
- Other than that, there's not much not to like.

Again, a strong entry and I wouldn't be surprised if you take it home again this week.

Andrew Huerta-
Probably not my favorite of this week's entries. There's not really anything that stands out as wrong with it, it just doesn't really wow me. The aspects that I like aren't enough to overtake the other entries.

What I like -
- The line quality, the use of texture and shading.
- The perspective seems to be tight
- Overall, the drawing shows good knowledge and ability
- The deadhead girls look like deadhead girls! A lof of the contestants make them look like Punky Brewster in my opinion. Good job capturing that.
- The car actually looks like a Honda Accord!

What could be improved
- I feel like there is a sense of drama, and dynamics missing. In general, it seems pretty quiet throughout with a lot of visual excitement. (A challenge of the script, I know)
- The cheerleader in the first panel looks a little scary. I'd expect to see her with a Siouxsie Su shirt hanging out with the goth chicks instead of the cheerleaders.
- Some of the anatomy seems two dimensional, or just a little off. For example, CB's head in the last panel of the first page.

Overall a solid entry and it tells the story, it just doesn't excite me to look at the way some of the others do.

Nick Pitarra - I think this guy's got some of the most potential of the contestants. I'd really like to see him achieve it before the end of the contest. I wouldn't mind seeing three more entries from you, buddy. Despite some inconsistincies, your work is a joy to look at.

What I like -
- It exists in its own world. It has an atmosphere and style of its own that I find lacking in comics these days.
- It pushes boundaries.
- The kids look about the right age.
- What's with the chicken dude in the first panel? Is that the mascot? That's awesome, LOL!
- The better drawn panels and characters are REALLY GOOD! More below...
- The level of detail is commendable, and just short of being too much.

What could be improved -
- The not so good characters and panels really aren't consistent with the better ones.
Some of the perspective is a little iffy, which shouldn't be overlooked just because the style is cool enough to distract the viewer.
- Personally (and this is just me) I'd like to see more panel variety to make this story a little more visually interesting.

Somehow, I liked your first week's entry a little better. I was just really impressed with the overall aesthetics when I first saw it. I like this one too though. Your one of the contestants I'm rooting for the most.

Charles WIlson III- In my opinion, this contestant's work wasn't overwhelming in the first round. However, I think he had the best panel of the first round when Aspen unleashed her powers in the last panel. Unfortunately the strength of that panel didn't seem to go with the rest of his work. It seemed like a different style that received more love than the rest of his pages.

What I like - Again, his work is solid. The storytelling is clean and the drawing is accurate where it needs to be.

What I think could be improved -
- I think the choice to add the lettering was a bad one. The lettering wasn't Charles' strength and I think it takes away from the pencils by giving it an amateur quality. If he had more time to ink the artwork and have the time to more carefully consider the letter placement and have cleaner typography.
- Like a number of the contestants, I feel the layout is a bit static and safe. personally, I prefer a bit more visually interesting storytelling for a story like this.

Overall, there isn't much to criticize except for the choice to add the lettering at this stage.

John Reed - This guy is really where it's at! It's imperfect (but most great art is) but he has his own style with an enjoyable aesthetic. There's a certain gentleness and energy to the lines all at once. I see little bits of Walt Simonson, Art Adams, Art Thirbert and it cries out for Mr. Thirbert to ink it. This is the guy I'm watching so far. he seems to get overshadowed by some of the other guys but for one am a fan.

What I like -
- The overall aesthetic is great. I like artists who establish a strong voice and style of their own. You can see the influences but unlike what I said about McDaid it takes those influences and makes something new.
- As far as texture and aesthetic go, I think you and Nick are head to head, with jose coming up a close third.
- Gestalt. It ties together. The style and panels all look like they are from the same person and occupying the same world.
- Contrasts and shadows look like they would be strong and add to the composition when inked

What could be improved -
- I wouldn't mind seeing it get pushed a little further. But maybe you should hold off considering some of the judges called you on some of the chances you took the first time through (long necks, etc...)
- A little more variety of expression would be nice. I don't think I saw a single smile with teeth in the three pages.
- Ok, sometimes the style might be too strong. The prom queen's arms look like she's been starving herself for this beauty competition
- the scene in bed to me looks more like a couple who's ran out of interest and things to say than it does a young couple too nervous to try anything

Overall, probably my favorite of the round. Even though Jose is growing on me after looking at everyone else's so closely, and I like Caio's, as of now you're my favorite this round as well. Probably the most visually interesting to me.

Wilfredo Torres - One of the few where I think I preferred the first week's over the second week's entry. My most honest reaction is that it's just, well, ok. I mean, it's competent, it does what it needs to do, it just doesn't make any particular impression or evoke a reaction.

What I like -
- There's a consistency in look and tone that is definitely missing in some of the other entries.
- The drawing is solid and competent
- No missing fingers this time. ;) Just kidding, I didn't see any missing fingers last time, though I agree showing the thumb might have made it clearer.

What I think could be improved.
- This style really isn't working for me. If he cuts loose a little bit he could probably be an interesting and engaging artist to me.

While technically competent and consistent, it just doesn't hold my interest visually.

[the goddamn batman]

Dan McDaid - I'm just not sure this guy is bringing anything new to the table.

Are you? It's not really fair to knock him for that, is it? Are you a pioneering originator? Is anyone in this contest? Is that the only thing that makes someone's art good? Or their comic pages worth looking at?

[Maxmen Chuen]

Jose, if you're reading this: please pay more attention to the scripts! I like your art to much to see you fail because of that. :)

ditto................

[Nick Pitarra]

Polystyleneman! Thanks for the crit man. I agree with everything you touched on reguarding me. Sometimes I'll be done with a page(and be happy with it)...then i'll go back like a day or 2 later...and be like...did I really draw that face? In round one I totally had that experience with my third page. Everybody got really squished or something. And reguarding my perspective...I do a rough of the figures first...just kind of using my minds eye and going at it. And then i'll tape that down on the drafting table and try to find the true perspective....once I think I'm close...I'll start lining things out(the backgound mainly)...it often reveals the flaws in the rough...but sometimes I'm so attached to the rough that i fiudge the perspective to make it work. So you got a good eye, you called my bluffs you could say. One these pages for CB, I really didn't want to push anything. A couple of the judges really liked my style last week...and knocked me for my storytelling..or rather..lack of. So I went for meat and potatoe shots for the storytelling,which I'm pretty happy with. The one stretch was the first panel with the spread eagle pose and the crazy mascott...I got approvel from CB before I did that (last week we got knocked for not using our writer contact). With that shot I just wanted to start the page on a fun of beat...which probably sacrificed the mood of the story...but I weighed that and figured I got the cheerleader in there...so it would be ok to squeeze in a little bit of me and my humor. Anyways..you read me like a book pal so don't expect me over for texas hold'm anytime soon. i really appreciate your time with all the crits. I know it takes a few hours to break things down and type them up.

All the best,
~nick

[polystyleneman]

Are you? It's not really fair to knock him for that, is it? Are you a pioneering originator? Is anyone in this contest? Is that the only thing that makes someone's art good? Or their comic pages worth looking at?

I'm not saying I'm breaking new ground. How do I say it? My reaction to his work at first was that it was trying too hard to look like certain other artists rather than being his own vision. I'm sorry, I don't remember saying his art wasn't worth looking at. Is it a knock anyway? Did I say it didn't have good qualities? I didn't realize I was so cruel to express my reaction. I think with as much praise as he's gotten here he can take the fact that everyone might not love his work at first.

Like I said, I knew I'd get kicked in the teeth for that. Ah, well...

[polystyleneman]

Polystyleneman! Thanks for the crit man. I agree with everything you touched on reguarding me. Sometimes I'll be done with a page(and be happy with it)...then i'll go back like a day or 2 later...and be like...did I really draw that face? In round one I totally had that experience with my third page. Everybody got really squished or something. And reguarding my perspective...I do a rough of the figures first...just kind of using my minds eye and going at it. And then i'll tape that down on the drafting table and try to find the true perspective....once I think I'm close...I'll start lining things out(the backgound mainly)...it often reveals the flaws in the rough...but sometimes I'm so attached to the rough that i fiudge the perspective to make it work. So you got a good eye, you called my bluffs you could say. One these pages for CB, I really didn't want to push anything. A couple of the judges really liked my style last week...and knocked me for my storytelling..or rather..lack of. So I went for meat and potatoe shots for the storytelling,which I'm pretty happy with. The one stretch was the first panel with the spread eagle pose and the crazy mascott...I got approvel from CB before I did that (last week we got knocked for not using our writer contact). With that shot I just wanted to start the page on a fun of beat...which probably sacrificed the mood of the story...but I weighed that and figured I got the cheerleader in there...so it would be ok to squeeze in a little bit of me and my humor. Anyways..you read me like a book pal so don't expect me over for texas hold'm anytime soon. i really appreciate your time with all the crits. I know it takes a few hours to break things down and type them up.

All the best,
~nick

Well I'm glad you took it the right way. I wasn't trying to offend anyone, just give my reactions to the work. Apparently some people take it rather personally, especially when I disagree with them about other artists. Again, I really hope to see what you do going forward. I think every artist here has something going for them but like anyone else I have preferences toward certain ones.

[Brandon Hanvey]

It looks like the poll for Round 2 will be pushed back to 3 PM EST (12 PM PST) on Wednesday so judges have more time to post their reviews of the assignments. The poll will still be open for 24 Hours so it will close on Thursday at 3 PM EST (12 PM PST).

[haybaath]

Another batch of amazing strips from these talented artists. I like Caio and CPW but McDaid gets my vote. The nostalgic style fits the story and it is full of subtle touches: the clock on the first and last page marks the passing of time, CB shivering (like a true gentleman!) because he has given the girl his jacket at the top of the last page, and the circle panel with the hands on the last page is a perfect full stop for the tale. Clever decisions.