Round 1: Jon Reed

[Reed]

Page one.
http://www.jtorresonline.com/reedfathom1sm.jpg (http://s228.photobucket.com/albums/ee96/jonreed79/?action=view&current=DC_2501966.jpg)

Page two.
http://www.jtorresonline.com/reedfathom2sm.jpg (http://s228.photobucket.com/albums/ee96/jonreed79/?action=view&current=DC_2501967.jpg)

Page three.
http://www.jtorresonline.com/reedfathom3sm.jpg (http://s228.photobucket.com/albums/ee96/jonreed79/?action=view&current=DC_2501968.jpg)

[Ryall_IDW]

Page One
The design of the house, inside and out, feels a bit wrong for the location, but nevertheless, I like the first two panels. The helicopter is given a bit of short shrift in panel three, and Aspen's left breast in panel four seems… overly angular. Not that I was looking. I was totally just staring at her face and getting to know her personality… anyway, good detail on the helicopter in the final panel, although something about the overall panel construction feels a bit off to me—the lack of depth on the house’s roof, I think.

Page Two
The explosion feels odd to me. It almost looks like the guy leaped into the air, and Aspen's body has suddenly become 2D and very gaunt. I’d suggest paying a bit more attention to anatomy in general. Panel three is getting closer, though—that one works fine for me.

Page Three
Anatomy is a bit of a concern here, too—her neck takes on E.T.-like proportions in panel one, and something about the square design of her facial structure in panel two is at odds with her features. I do like the energy release on panel four.

[Vince Hernandez]

PAGE ONE:
Panel 1: Nice establishing shot. I like both the beach house and the T-Bird. Your backgrounds are okay but your clouds need a little work.

Panel 2: This panel works well and I like the more standardized panel layout in general on this page Chance looks a little too young. Be careful on your steam coming out of the doorway. I would think it would be better served to rise more to sell it better. It almost looks like snow.

Panel 3: This panel works nicely.

Panel 4: This version of Aspen does not match the reference for her. Also, the anatomy on her right arm and her breasts is not correct. Her right breast is not there.

Panel 5: This panel followed the script well but you could've gone with a more dynamic angle. This appears pretty cut and dry. Not bad just not too exciting or suspenseful.

PAGE TWO:
Panel 1: The explosion is okay but Chance's airborne body does look odd. There's no real depth to this panel. Aspen's figure in this panel looks extremely rushed and I would have you change this for sure. She appears too stick-figurish and not proportional at all.

Panel 2: This panel is well done and serves the script to a tee. Chance looks good. Watch out for Aspen though as she gets somewhat lost in the wreckage in the background.

Panel 3: Nice dynamic pose. You sell the action of her transforming through the debris okay. You didn't follow the script by placing her under heavy wreckage as it appears as though all she had to do was stand up. Not what I was looking for with her transition to water form. Her anatomy around her neckline isn't right and her legs are too long.

PAGE THREE:
Panel 1: This panel is too similar to the previous page's panel with Chance. You should position the characters for a different approach. Aspen's anatomy is wrong. Her neck is way too long. Her head is undersized and not round. Plus the wreckage blocking is too convenient.

Panel 2: Aspen's face doesn't match the reference for her. The lines are too stiff around her cheeks and jawline and her eyebrows don't look right pointing upwards as such.

Panel 3: Personally, I don't like the approach to this panel. It doesn't relay to me the strength and energy I was looking for. Her face in the upper right portion is cut off and therefore doesn't quite serve a purpose except to distract my eye.

Panel 4: Nice blast. I like the way you twirled her water power around her body--a creative way to cover her up while adding to the action of the scene.

[jameslucasoni]

I think your general artistic aesthetic is pleasing to the eye. You’re using a lot of detail, sure, but unlike some of the other detail-oriented artists, you’re also not afraid to spot some black which warms my tattered soul.

Page 1 – I love panel 1 but I think panel 2 is a little too staid. I smidge too stiff. Panel 3 is a nice panel, but it blows the helicopter reveal that the script wants to save for later and the panel itself could be much smaller. In panel 4, I think you picked too late in the action. You could have gotten her a second earlier and you wouldn’t have needed the awkward arm across the chest. Panel 5 works pretty well since you already revealed the chopper (which is an Apache, by the way, not the Comanche specified in the script. It’s a beautiful Apache though and since the Comanche was never mass-produced, I’d probably let it slide. ;))

Page 2 – I love page 2. I think it’s pretty darn close to perfect.

Page 3 – Another solid page, but you still let side details take a bit too much of the focus. Panel three really should have been an inset panel and panel 4 should command way more of the page.

Overall, I think this is some very strong work and if you loosen up a bit and try some more inventive, dynamic layouts, I think you could take things to an even higher level.

[Marc Silvestri]

Reed-

First off you’ve got some cool stuff going on here. Looks like you have a handle on perspective, which is a good thing and your stuff has a lot of texture, which is sometimes a good thing. Careful not to over-do it as too much texturing page after page starts to look like wallpaper. And ALWAYS make sure the cipher you are using represents the texture of the object. I noticed some of the rubble looked less like brick and plaster and more like shiny steel.

Seems you have a natural sense of composition, very solid and well thought out for someone just beginning. Just be careful to avoid things like in panel#1 where you split the panel too evenly with the horizon line. Show more sky or more ground but NEVER equal amounts of both!

Very few artists can get away with spotting blacks in both the foreground and the background in a panel and not make the panel look flat so be careful! Mike Mignola is THE master of that technique but not many others can pull it off. The safer bet when just starting out is to remember that dark objects will come FOREWARD. Use that basic rule to help create the illusion of 3D.

Great helicopter! Love the movement of guided missiles, looks very kinetic and lethal. I would have added some distance between the house and the chopper in panel 3 but otherwise the storytelling on page 1 is solid.

Page two is where I noticed the texture issues the most. I don’t really see any difference between the surfaces on the various objects flying around. The blast needs more direction and punch (Two sidewinders just hit the house!). At the moment it reads more like a portal to another dimension has just opened. That’s quite the neck on Aspen BTW! Ease up on that a bit.

Panel 3 works well but Chance is a bit stiff and awkward. Placements of blacks seem a bit random and remember positive and negative space will ALWAYS define the object they surround. The debris falling around Aspen in panel 3 is fussy with too many weird shapes that draw attention away from Aspen.

Good dramatic storytelling on page 3! Good choices and good camera angles all around. Watch the textures though, that chunk of wall Aspen is holding isn’t really reading as stone. And watch the neck! The anatomy in general needs a little work (cartoon style is fine just make it accurate and attractive). Aspens eyes are a little close together in panel 2 but I like the expression. Panel 4 rocks. Period.

Good job!

[Marc Silvestri]

Opps. Sorry Jon, didn't mean to call you Reed. Thought Reed was your first name for a sec.