Round 1: Charles Paul Wilson III

[CPWilsonIII]

Page 1
http://www.thegeekout.com/images/cw1r1.jpg (http://www.comicspace.com/cpw3art/comics.php?action=read&file_id=165076)
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Page 2
http://www.thegeekout.com/images/cw2r1.jpg (http://www.comicspace.com/cpw3art/comics.php?action=read&file_id=165077)
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Page 3
http://www.thegeekout.com/images/cw3r1.jpg (http://www.comicspace.com/cpw3art/comics.php?action=read&file_id=165078)
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[Ryall_IDW]

Page One
Now that’s a beach house! I like the second establishing panel, which adds to the initial placid feel. I might seem a stickler on “beer bottle anatomy,” based on comments I’ve made to a few of the entries here, but the bottle in panel three looks, size-wise, like he’s drinking Tobasco. Or maybe a Coronita. It seems a bit off. And the little details are what people tend to really notice and fixate on, so even seemingly insignificant things like this should be drawn with care. You never want to give people a reason to think too much (negatively) about a panel. I do like the circular design of the panel, though—that makes for a good inset design. If you hold their gaze longer on any panel, it should be because you wowed them. Nice approach shot with the helicopter far overhead.

Page Two
The explosion is really powerful, even if it’s a bit sketchy and makes me wonder how the lines will hold when inked and colored. But I can really feel it, almost as much as the poor bastard in the panel. Panel four is nice, too, even if small things like her arms feeling a bit skinny and short, or the extremely wide part in her hair, or even the oddly placed outlet on the piece of the wall, all give me slight pause. But as a whole, I like the construction of this page.

Page Three
The bloody hand is an effective way to show the Tabasco-drinker’s demise, so that’s nice. Her face seems a bit too long in panel two, but I like the expression here and in panel three. Her anger does seem to have made her breasts grow at full cup size in panel four, though. While this panel feels a bit unfinished in places, it still seems like it could be inked up nicely, depending on what sort of detail you give her body here.

[Vince Hernandez]

PAGE ONE:
Panel 1: A very nicely rendered beach house to establish our opening. Well done. I don't think the separate panel for the Thunderbird is altogether necessary but you also did a good job on the vehicle.

Panel 3: The circular inset panel works okay here. The beer bottle does seem a bit small for normal-sized beer.

Panel 4: This panel is well done and really captures a nice feel for the inside of the beach house. The position of the shower seems a bit improbable since it seems as if it's in plain sight--not the best placement for a shower. The towel should be placed more prominent in the foreground.

Panel 5: This panel is a little murky and to my eye the helicopter looks like it's headed backwards--this could just be me.

Panel 6: Did I just say panel 6? Yes, there are too may panels. Plus, your Aspen doesn't match the character reference for her. She doesn't look the same. I didn't want the intro shot of Aspen to be split into two because I wanted you to convey the action of her asking for the towel with Chance responding in panel. Not two separate panels.

Panel 7: This panel works but is far too anti-climactic. The use of speed lines or some other technique would've helped to amplify the speed of the oncoming missiles.

PAGE TWO:
Panel 1: Nice explosion if not fairly simple.

Panel 2: This panel is confusing and the action in this panel is not clear at all. I wrote the script but couldn't figure out what was happening in this panel.

Panels 3 and 4 could have been combined into one and been much more impactful. I couldn't find Chance in this sequence.

Panel 5: The motion on Aspen is great, a nice pose. Again, her face doesn't match the real Aspen and her face appears rather emotionless. Your water effect on her is cool-looking but is not true to the reference either.

PAGE THREE:
Panel 1: A very impactful panel. I like the change to just Chance's hand, it's not a story-altering change and works well to convey the point of his death.

Panel 2: Again, your Aspen is inconsistent and doesn't match the ref. The facial expression is okay but I'm thrown off by how different she looks.

Panel 3: Nice shot of her angry and a convenient use of her power to hide her breasts. I like this panel.

Panel 4: This panel is striking. It really sells her powers well and you did a good job of following the script. Is she naked? I can't tell from this but she shouldn't be exposing breasts if so. On that note, it also appears as if her breasts have grown in this panel.

[jameslucasoni]

Let me start by saying that I thing your general style is pretty appealing. It’s never too cartoony or too detailed. It straddles the line with deftness. My biggest concern with these pages is the way you over-complicated them. Now, I’d almost always rather an artist add a panel than take one away from a script, and I actually think the panels you chose to add do improve the storytelling of the pages, but you’re also giving yourself more to draw and that can slow you down. Working in periodical comics is always going to be a compromise between the work and the deadline and there’s no way that a five-panel page is going to take you as long as an eight-panel page. Just something to think about.

Page 1 – I think this page is really striking. The layout is dynamic, but easy to follow. The extra detail panels you added strengthened the page without taking too much of what the script was demanding. My only real issues on this page are that Aspen’s reveal panel isn’t nearly as powerful as it should be and panels 5 and 8 could have followed the script a bit closer, keeping the chopper reveal until later. I also feel like Chance’s anatomy and/or blocking in panel 7 is a little wonky.

Page 2 – I love this page. I think the explosion is powerful and dynamic. The storytelling in the middle tier is clear and the reveal of Aspen’s powers in the last panel is solid.

Page 3 – I really appreciate the subtlety of the first panel on this page and I like the reaction shot that follows it. I think the third panel is the weakest of the page, though, and it suffers from some awkward framing and blocking. Panel 4 though is powerful and striking.

Most of my issues here are nitpicks, I think this is some fairly strong work overall. I also want to say that I loved that Charles included his name and info on each page. I hate looking at stuff on screen when I don’t have to and when I printed out everybody’s samples Charles’s were the easiest to identify and that means a lot to an editor. Kudos, Charles!

[Marc Silvestri]

Charles-

I really like the line quality of your work. Both figures and backgrounds show a great deal of confidence and control. Good separation of planes too, I see a lot of depth in your panels lacking in some of the other entrants.

Hey, how come nobody is showing a big shot of Aspen in the shower in the foreground, with Chance in the background on the 1st page? Just askin’.

Circular panel works well here as it makes Chance taking a drink simultaneous to the action rather than a specific beat. Panel 7 is a bit awkward in that Aspen’s hand is too close and she could just grab the towel herself. Plus, Who’s this guy sitting where Chance was a second ago? Watch the character consistency!

The last panel could pack more punch. The missiles almost look as if the chopper just “pooped them out” rather than fired them. Emphasizing the launch point with a burst would have helped here.

Nice sense of kinetic energy with the blast (the best one I’ve seen so far). I like the positive and negative space you use throughout the page. It’s very dynamic and graphic and a nice fit for the action. Aspen’s eye placement in panel 5 wonks-out what would have otherwise been a really nice face. Careful with that sort of thing!

Nice! But now I see the habit you have of drawing eyes too close together! Easy fix so knock it off! In panel 3 the line formed by the broken wall is too straight which makes the eye look at it. That’s bad because it draws attention away from Aspen. Make sure the background ALWAYS compliments the foreground in a composition.

Love the way you interpreted Aspens power in the last panel, it shows you think outside the box a bit. Background is to busy though and takes away from a cool figure. When in doubt, it’s always better to keep the background simple.

Sweet pages man!