Round 1: Nick Pitarra

[Nick Pitarra]

Well...I guess I'll break the ice.

Page 1
http://jtorresonline.com/nickfathom1.jpg (http://www.comicartfans.com/GalleryPiece.asp?Page=1&Order=Date&Piece=313266&GSub=48762&GCat=0&UCat=0)
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Page 2
http://jtorresonline.com/nickfathom2.jpg (http://www.comicartfans.com/GalleryPiece.asp?Page=1&Order=Date&Piece=313264&GSub=48762&GCat=0&UCat=0)
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Page 3
http://jtorresonline.com/nickfathom3.jpg (http://www.comicartfans.com/GalleryPiece.asp?Page=1&Order=Date&Piece=313263&GSub=48762&GCat=0&UCat=0)
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All the best,
nick

[Ryall_IDW]

Page One:
I really like the detail on the first page, the way it immediately sets the scene and sets a certain almost whimsical feel. This level of detail is dependent on good inks to really finish the art, to give figures and buildings in the foreground more weight so the panels don’t just collapse under the weight of too many lines, so I’d be interested to see what they look like when finished, but at a first look, it really shows some skill. I don’t know that I would’ve extended panel three up underneath the first two panels on page one of a story, though. That’s a fun thing to do with art, but only once a scene is really established. And not to be indelicate but, uh, where is her right nipple in panel four? I know what you were getting at, but anatomically, it makes me wonder if the plastic surgeon put it back on a little lower than it should’ve been. Overall, nice panel construction and camera angles—a good start.

Page Two:
Things get a bit more murky for me here. Panel two is a bit hard to follow in the pencil stage, so this is where good inks are definitely needed to make it clear for the reader—and for the colorist. That second panel extending down below panels three and four and bleeding off the page is a nice way to show depth, but having panel one overlap the top of that same panel doesn’t work to quite as good an effect.

Page Three
Here, her anatomy seems a bit stunted, or somehow off, in panel two. I also think it might’ve been a bit better approach to reduce the size of panels two and three, to really make the money shot on the page, panel four’s action scene, stand out as an impressive thing. Panels two and three are more “inset panel” in importance, but panel four needs to be the spot where you really wow the reader on this page. Those niggling details aside, this is a nice start.

[Vince Hernandez]

PAGE 1:
Panel one: The level of detail in this panel is impressive. I'm not too keen on bleeding panel 3 behind this panel however. For the establishing shot, I would've preferred to focus more on panel 1 to bring the reader in before trying this technique. There's a tangent running between the panels towards the upper left part of the page which inks and colors would probably not correct..

Panel Two: Your version of Chance isn't close enough to the real version. I would make you change this for sure. The bookshelf in the background appears slightly out of perspective or it's just in bad shape :)

Panel Three: You didn't follow the script in this panel as it called for a small inset panel and only a slight reveal of the copter's blades. The helicopter also doesn't appear to be a Commanche.

Panel Four: The reason for the small, hinting inset panel was to allow space for the proper Aspen intro. Again here you didn't follow the script and instead illustrated everything above her waistline as opposed to her breast line (not a big deal), however, you didn't convey the actual action of the panel description: her pointing towards the towel. I intentionally left out dialogue to challenge the contestants to create the story visually without the need for balloons. From this panel, I don't know what she wants and therefore, the towel in panel one is rendered pointless.

Panel Five: Where is it? Pushing it to the next page is not helpful to the script and detracts from the impact of the explosion panel. It should be on page one.

PAGE 2:
Panel One: I've already stated the problem with pushing this panel onto this page. Overall, I like this panel and everything looks good. The action and point of the panel are still conveyed although somewhat different from the panel description.

Panel Two: Again, didn't follow the script. I didn't receive any questions or comments regarding the script from any of the contestants so I was a little surprised to see so much deviation from the script. I can't speak for all publishers, but this is not how I work. By the time the script reaches our artists, it's seen a fair share of revisions and it is close to what we envision for the story visually. Of course, the artist is allowed to make amends to better serve the story during the art stage (this is where the communication part occurs), but not to the extent I'm seeing in these tryouts. The explosion is a bit confusing, can't quite place what exactly is.

Panel Three: This is a good panel. Nice wreckage, everything works well.

Panel Four: I also like this panel. This was one of the 'challenge' shots I threw in there to really test your skills. Well done. It's very tough to create this shot of Aspen transforming through an inanimate object. All in all, you pulled it off.

PAGE 3:
Panel One: I knew I'd get a ton of flack for having Aspen nude in this page, but I really wanted to see how creative each respective artist would get with hiding her bits and pieces. Your figurework is okay in this panel but seems a bit rushed in the body area. I really enjoy your facial expressions in this panel--they really sell the emotion of the characters. The helicopter in this panel needs some work, it looks a little too inconsistent in the linework making the overall outline seems a bit wonky.

Panel Two: This is my favorite panel of the scene. It conveys everything I was looking for and then some. Great work. Of course, being on point means we move on :)

Panel Three: Again, just what I wanted. I dig the layout of the panel. Everything works.

Panel Four: I didn't want to see the helicopter on this page. These 3 pages were more build-up. Aspen shooting her powers at us would've capped this page better and left us room for a more dramatic splash or more next page. Bu deviating and adding the copter here, you sorta've take away from the buildup and compress the scene. Artwise the panel is good and overall I like how you chose to cover up her nude body. I also appreciate the explosion as it's a bit different from the usual song and dance explosion. Nice touch.

[jameslucasoni]

I’m going to start with some general thoughts before I jump into a page by page breakdown. The style you’re using here, with the dead line weights and extraordinary detail, is one that I think has a lot of fans and I’m one of them. It’s very reminiscent of Darrow and Seth Fisher in a pleasant way. That said, both of those artists rely very heavily on colorists to help them communicate the story to the reader. Without colors to lead the eye to what’s important on the page, your pages become much more difficult to follow.

Okay, on to the specific pages!

Page 1 – One of the things I’m going to be a real stickler for throughout this competition is sticking to script. Yes, writers and artists are very different beasts and the collaboration and back and forth is where the magic is, but you didn’t have that opportunity for back and forth and you blow several important and specific details that Vince clearly gave you in the script. Where’s the ’59 Thunderbird that’s supposed to be parked out front in panel 1? While I’m not all that familiar with the Aspen characters, that car seemed to be an important detail and an indicator of who this character is. There’s no reason not to include it. Also, the placement of panel 3 is ridiculous for what was specified as a small inset panel and it blows the reveal of the helicopter that Vince was clear he wanted to save for later. Don’t even get me started on the blocking in panel 4! She’s holding her boob?!? Again, it wouldn’t have been an issue if he’d followed Vince’s suggestion for blocking—instead she looks like a stripper.

Page 2 – Again, this page shifts everything around and while I do like the shot of the pilot pressing the button, it needed to be on the previous page where the missle fire is specified. As it is, it just distracts from the central panel and reduces its impact.

Page 3 is the closest to the script as given and as such is probably my favorite page in terms of storytelling. I think the shots of Aspen are a little gratuitous and would have liked to see you get a little more creative in your covering of her naughty bits.

Overall, I think you have a voice you’re comfortable with and an appealing style, but the storytelling on these pages doesn’t effectively communicate to me all of the more subtle details of the script. Vince provided a very clear, yet fairly open, new-artist friendly script and I feel like these samples fell short. I’d hate to see what we’d have ended up with had it been a Grant Morrison or Neil Gaiman script.

[Marc Silvestri]

Nick –

Definitely the most unique of the bunch man! Very playful and whimsical and though not necessarily mainstream, I have to say I like it. It has a very European feel to it. Heavy Metal would seem a perfect match (maybe my buddy Kevin should check this out!)

I like the chunky holding lines surrounding the more delicate work inside. It’s quirky but it works because you OWN it. You totally commit yourself to this look and I have to commend you for that! There is not a single uninteresting panel to be found. Your work is very busy – which is often a kiss of death – but you seem to know where everything goes and are able to avoid that “wallpaper” look. I’d love to see this hooked up with some color.

The issues start to arise in the story telling though. Don’t forget, drawing a pretty picture is not what we do. We tell stories. One of the biggest raps against commercial and music video directors who try to make it in film is that they can make a cool shot but can’t tell a good story. You might be suffering from the same thing here. It looks like you went off script because you wanted to draw something cool. That’s a slippery slope. If you’re going to have a quirky style you’re gonna have to back it up with solid story telling. Don’t get me wrong, you can tell stories in an offbeat way just make sure its always clear and DRAMATIC and true to the source material. Some of the choices here, although interesting to look at, lack the drama good storytelling provide.

On page 2 the second panel is pretty much the only place you lose control of your own style. The clarity that your look demands is not in this shot and it’s kind of a mess. You save yourself though with a killer last panel.

Last page seems a bit rushed and I’d have liked a bit more variation in figure size especially in that first panel (could have brought Chance closer for a stronger foreground element)

So work on the story telling Nick, because quite frankly, your art makes me smile and I’d like to see more.