Dealing with the Government

[Shellhead]

A thread where you can share your experiences dealing with the government. Federal, state, local, county, foreign, whatever.

Here at work, our senior scientist is from France. He is a very good scientist in his specialty, and he enjoys living and working here in the United States. When he recently needed to renew his work visa, the immigration law attorney that our firm uses made a mistake in the paperwork, and gave out his current wage as the dollar amount that he was offered when he started here in 2004. When the INS compared that dollar amount with his W-2, they got paranoid and denied his application.

Apparently the INS is very worried about slavery and indentured servitude, because they are challenging that we were able to pay his wage. So now I'm literally photocopying hundreds of pages of quarterly payroll tax reports, bank statements and financial statements to prove this.

But here's the bottom line: one of our bank accounts has roughly a million dollars in cash sitting there. It's part of our initial capital from investors, and we started making money quickly enough that we never even needed to use that much of the startup money. So we're sitting on a million bucks, and the INS can't believe that we could afford to pay a five-figure annual salary to one employee.

So, back to the copier.

[pariah-1972]

A thread where you can share your experiences dealing with the government. Federal, state, local, county, foreign, whatever.

Here at work, our senior scientist is from France. He is a very good scientist in his specialty, and he enjoys living and working here in the United States. When he recently needed to renew his work visa, the immigration law attorney that our firm uses made a mistake in the paperwork, and gave out his current wage as the dollar amount that he was offered when he started here in 2004. When the INS compared that dollar amount with his W-2, they got paranoid and denied his application.

Apparently the INS is very worried about slavery and indentured servitude, because they are challenging that we were able to pay his wage. So now I'm literally photocopying hundreds of pages of quarterly payroll tax reports, bank statements and financial statements to prove this.

But here's the bottom line: one of our bank accounts has roughly a million dollars in cash sitting there. It's part of our initial capital from investors, and we started making money quickly enough that we never even needed to use that much of the startup money. So we're sitting on a million bucks, and the INS can't believe that we could afford to pay a five-figure annual salary to one employee.

So, back to the copier.I'm sure George Bush hired them somehow.
:p

[Michael P]

Well, the VA's been fucking my Grandpa pretty thoroughly for the past 60-odd years.

See, Grandpa was in a tank in WWII. His unit was in the army commanded by a small-time general who didn't really care for the spotlight, George S. Patton, and the biggest battle he saw action in was a minor skirmish you probably haven't heard of called the Battle of the Bulge, but he was there nonetheless. And ever since he got back, his hearing's been shit.

But there's no evidence it was being in that tank that damaged his hearing, so the VA doesn't foot the ever-increasing bill for his hearing aids and related medical care. Because, hey, maybe he just stuck his head in an old antique cannon and fired it while touring the ruins of Berlin. Who can tell?

[petriacce]

All of my clients at work are governmental entities. A lot of government finance people are really good at what they do but just as many are not. Citizens would be so insanely ticked off to hear about some of the stuff I see. Most of it is laziness and political posturing at the expense of the tax payers.

If I ever quit my job I am so writing a book or at least a long letter to the newpaper.

[a. non]

A rare moment of Good Government:

a couple months ago, i got a letter from my state tax office. they told me i made a mistake on my taxes, and gave me a check for $100+. I went through my records, and sure enough, there was a mistake. The thing is, i did the math 3 times and it came out the same each time. I had paid them $20.

[howyadoin]

Well, the VA's been fucking my Grandpa pretty thoroughly for the past 60-odd years.

See, Grandpa was in a tank in WWII. His unit was in the army commanded by a small-time general who didn't really care for the spotlight, George S. Patton, and the biggest battle he saw action in was a minor skirmish you probably haven't heard of called the Battle of the Bulge, but he was there nonetheless. And ever since he got back, his hearing's been shit.

But there's no evidence it was being in that tank that damaged his hearing, so the VA doesn't foot the ever-increasing bill for his hearing aids and related medical care. Because, hey, maybe he just stuck his head in an old antique cannon and fired it while touring the ruins of Berlin. Who can tell?What was it Bill Hicks said about politicians, again?

[niall mc cann]

I was trying to get planning permission for promotional banners lately; they had to go up on local government buildings, and for whatever reason they demanded we go through the whole process of applying for permission even though the banners are only temporary.

They were trying to discourage us from going forward with it, I'm sure, but I got the head down and did the applications. There's a piece of text required by the legislation for planning permission, i copied and pasted it from their website and submitted the applications.

After maybe a fortnight of them having the applications; we get a call - the text required by law was put up incorrectly on their website. Not only us, but practically every application submitted to them for the previous month or so had to re-apply, which could have scuppered us given the time-line we were talking about. Gah! Very frustrating!

Dealing with government bureaucracy is very frustrating; one hand doesn't know what the other's doing, is my experience. However, when i found someone who finally knew what the score was and was willing to help, that just makes that a bit special. Seriously, there were times like that when i was ready to weep.:D

[niall mc cann]

What was it Bill Hicks said about politicians, again?

I'm not sure it's necessarily the politicians...

We have these huge bureaucratic machines that run things, and a lot of decisions and petitions get processed "untouched by human hands", so to speak. The criteria get fed in, and you either fit them or don't. I'd question how much power politicians really have.

I'd imagine there's plenty of honestly enthusiastic young politicians that get into politics with the best of intentions, only to run smack into a sluggish, set-in-its-ways civil service.

[howyadoin]

I'm not sure it's necessarily the politicians...

We have these huge bureaucratic machines that run things, and a lot of decisions and petitions get processed "untouched by human hands", so to speak. The criteria get fed in, and you either fit them or don't. I'd question how much power politicians really have.

I'd imagine there's plenty of honestly enthusiastic young politicians that get into politics with the best of intentions, only to run smack into a sluggish, set-in-its-ways civil service.I kinda find it easier to believe that they're all lying cocksuckers, actually.

[Shellhead]

I kinda find it easier to believe that they're all lying cocksuckers, actually.

Me too, which makes it seem much funnier when they run smack into a sluggish, set-in-its-ways civil service.

[Sabrina_Fried]

Here's one:

My passport expired late last year and I had to get it renewed. Now fortunetly, I wasn't planning on any travel outside of the country at the time, so I wasn't in a rush, but I wanted to get it done before the new USA requirement for Canadians to have passports when flying into the country took effect, because I knew it was going to cause havoc at the passport office. So I do all the requisite paperwork, and find out that one of the forms of ID I have to present is my birth certificate.

Now, I was born in Quebec, but my family moved to Ontario when I was 6, and because of 9/11 (I kid you not), the federal government had apparently decided that my original birth certificate from Quebec was no longer valid because it did not contain enough anti-forgery mechanisms or something. So, I had to spend almost 4 months going back and forth with the Quebec government in order to get a new copy of my birth certificate to prove that yes, I was indeed born. The ID I had to provide the Quebec government? My expired passport, my Ontario driver's license and my Ontario health card.

For the record, when I last renewed my driver's license, what ID did they ask me for? Answer: My birth certificate.

So, once I have my new Proof of Existence from the Quebec government, where the only real difference appears to be that it is printed on a more expensive piece of paper than my original birth certificate, I send my passport application in. At the time the passport office was promising that applications would be processed within 21 business days.

And sure enough, on Day 21 Canada Post was standing on my doorstep with an registered envelope containing my new passport.

A month later my sister had to go through the same process. It took them so long to process her passport application that she had to do a 15-hour drive across the border for a major business trip because they don't require passports at land crossings yet. Ironically, she got her new passport the day she returned when she called in sick to work because she had been up all night driving.

Sabrina

[niall mc cann]

I kinda find it easier to believe that they're all lying cocksuckers, actually.

They all end up lying 'cause that's the nature of the beast.

There's an ego thing in a lot of politicians, i think. There's a very high proportion who enter in to politics for reasons of vanity and self-regard (compared to say, the proportion who enter street-sweeping for those reasons), but i do believe there are some who have other less egocentric motives as well.

I have never managed to be that hard on them for lying; I have a feeling we get the politicians we deserve. There's a big chunk of the population who just want their public servants to tell them what they want to hear. I've experienced times when I've seen a politician backed into a corner until he says something that i know can't be true, and that i know he/she knows can't be true, but he says it and it shuts up the idiot.

People ask for the moon on a stick, sometimes. If you believe the guy who says "sure, I'll get you that", well, all you were ever asking for was to be lied to.

[Loren]

When I got home late Wednesday night, I had no water. A little sleuthing determined that my water had been shut off at the street. No notes about this had been left behind.

Thursday morning, I called DeKalb County Watershed Management, and was informed that my water had been shut off for non-payment. Not non-payment on MY part, though. Water is included in my rent.

I called my landlady's niece (my landlady moved out nine months ago, and her niece handles her affairs), and told her my water had been shut off. She apologized, and got it paid within the hour, but according to her, she hadn't received a water bill ever since my landlady moved out.

So I'm not sure where the water bills were going for all those months. It's hard to blame the water department too much for this snafu, but I can definitely blame them for failing to leave me any kind of notice. It would've spared me the skulking around my lawn with a flashlight at 11pm, trying to determine whether the water problem was limited to my house or not.

[Drew Van T.]

I have always liked this utility-related comedy bit from stand-up Dave Attell:

"If you forget to pay the electricity bill, they will turn your lights right out. Don't you think that they should slowly dim them, so that you get the hint to pay the bill?"

Of course, it sounds better when he delivers it on stage.