Gays and Mexicans sure do keep me awake at night

[Floyd The Barber]

I live in VA. Last year the biggest topic here before election time was Gay Marriage. (yeah I capitalized it on purpose) It was THEE topic. This year it's Illegal Immigrants. It's THEE topic. Just this week I've got junk mail and an answering machine message encouraging me to vote for "so and so" because they WILL BE TOUGH ON Illegal Immigrants.
I for one just want to say I'm glad SOMEONE is focused on the REAL issues. All those gays fornicating in each other's rectums and planning bridal showers, All those Mexicans stealing all those harvesting and digging jobs all my friends are just clamoring for, I just can't sleep at night.
Who's with me here?

[Jack Zodiac]

I agree. However, we all know the real threat to America are gay Mexicans, with their knotted up pink t-shirts, exposed happy trails, and cut-off denim shorts. How am I supposed to pay my taxes and support a completely worthwhile war when I've got that all up in my grill?

[Floyd The Barber]

I agree. However, we all know the real threat to America are gay Mexicans

(In my best Molly Shannon voice) "Don't EVEN get me started."
I can't even drive my Hummer 50 miles out of my way so I can show off my accomplishments to all those LAZY "impoverished" people (I mean EVERYONE knows it really is THEIR fault) in the poor neighborhoods on my way to church without seeing some burrito-eating godless homo soliciting. What has this country come to. I mean 9/11 like JUST happened and we have to deal with this crap? I mean if ANYONE is sucking a shlong and a burrito simultaneously while digging a ditch for 2.22 an hour (they do SOMETIMES get tips you know...) then the terrorists have already won.

[Jack Zodiac]

I think it's time we rounded up all those Latin Queens and put 'em on a ship. A big Caribbean cruise ship with techno music and appletinis, and just got 'em the fuck out of our country!

[Floyd The Barber]

I think it's time we rounded up all those Latin Queens and put 'em on a ship. A big Caribbean cruise ship with techno music and appletinis, and just got 'em the fuck out of our country!

Or better yet : If they wanna go North so bad let's send 'em up to Canada. Maybe they could teach those pesky Canadian French sympathizers not to be so damn lazy. I mean EVERYONE knows Canada's the 51st state anyway. We just let 'em keep the illusion that they're their own country. And while we're at it, since Mexican's want to be American so bad we might as well claim Mexico as the 52nd state as well!

Out of kayfabe: I love your quote, Jack. "I should play God and just... SHOOT you myself!" Now that's OGT.

[Jack Zodiac]

Or better yet : If they wanna go North so bad let's send 'em up to Canada. Maybe they could teach those pesky Canadian French sympathizers not to be so damn lazy. I mean EVERYONE knows Canada's the 51st state anyway. We just let 'em keep the illusion that they're their own country. And while we're at it, since Mexican's want to be American so bad we might as well claim Mexico as the 52nd state as well!

Better yet! Let's get those gay Mexicans to build the border wall for us. I mean, if we're gonna' have this giant wall separating our countries, it might as well be stylish.

Out of kayfabe: I love your quote, Jack. "I should play God and just... SHOOT you myself!" Now that's OGT.

Maynard's a modern fuckin' philosopher.

[Floyd The Barber]

Better yet! Let's get those gay Mexicans to build the border wall for us. I mean, if we're gonna' have this giant wall separating our countries, it might as well be stylish.

Just as long as it's not that Leopard Print they love soooo much. I mean that would so clash with Texas RED. Red used to be the Soviets color but we sooo owned them and took it from them. Now their red's a sickly gay maroon at best.

[b]Maynard's a modern fuckin' philosopher.

Out of Kayfabe : "You know, there used to be a bunch of assholes that lived in this part of the building... but we systematically removed them like you would any kind of termite or roach." (Gee what famous house could that apply to these days?)

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

I live in VA. Last year the biggest topic here before election time was Gay Marriage. (yeah I capitalized it on purpose) It was THEE topic. This year it's Illegal Immigrants. It's THEE topic. Just this week I've got junk mail and an answering machine message encouraging me to vote for "so and so" because they WILL BE TOUGH ON Illegal Immigrants.
I for one just want to say I'm glad SOMEONE is focused on the REAL issues. All those gays fornicating in each other's rectums and planning bridal showers, All those Mexicans stealing all those harvesting and digging jobs all my friends are just clamoring for, I just can't sleep at night.
Who's with me here?

Go down to the head office of whom ever is planning the event and pick one person, and learn their name.
Then get some friends around, and just take turns to ring the person, all night, about why their stance is wrong - or even right.
When you get bored of that, keep ringing them up pretending to be a Mexican looking for work, or a gay person looking for a good time.
Keep this up for a week or so.

It won't change anything, but you'll have ruined a strangers week - and that's not something you get to do often.

[Floyd The Barber]

Go down to the head office of whom ever is planning the event and pick one person, and learn their name.
Then get some friends around, and just take turns to ring the person, all night, about why their stance is wrong - or even right.
When you get bored of that, keep ringing them up pretending to be a Mexican looking for work, or a gay person looking for a good time.
Keep this up for a week or so.

It won't change anything, but you'll have ruined a strangers week - and that's not something you get to do often.

BWAHHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHhooooooo....
I hope you realize I'm actually going to do that now. And you're responsible, 'cause you gave me the idea, so I'm not gonna feel bad about it at all. Not that I would anyway.

[rick]

Gays and Mexicans sure do keep me awake at night


I used to live in that same neighborhood back in the 80's.

The street festivals were amazing, but man, they would just go on all night.

[Winslow]

I have both gays and Mexicans in my neighborhood.

I can't keep up with them, their houses look better than mine. Pisses me off.

So I'm voting Republican to protect my interests.

[Toku King]

I agree. However, we all know the real threat to America are gay Mexicans, with their knotted up pink t-shirts, exposed happy trails, and cut-off denim shorts. How am I supposed to pay my taxes and support a completely worthwhile war when I've got that all up in my grill?

Best post ever!

[parrish]

And here I thought the evil driving laws here were our biggest problem...

[Ed Cunard]

I agree. However, we all know the real threat to America are gay Mexicans, with their knotted up pink t-shirts, exposed happy trails, and cut-off denim shorts. How am I supposed to pay my taxes and support a completely worthwhile war when I've got that all up in my grill?

A gay Mexican once kept me up all night.

[Puma]

And here I thought the evil driving laws here were our biggest problem...

I thought it was smoking in private vehicles and homes?

[HomerJay]

What do you call a Mexican octopus?

I have no idea, but you oughta see it cut hedges.

[parrish]

I thought it was smoking in private vehicles and homes?

Nah, that's your coast, we can even still smoke in some restaurants...

[Ray R.]

What do you call a Mexican octopus?

I have no idea, but you oughta see it cut hedges.

What are the first 3 words in every Mexican cookbook?

Steal a chicken.

[Ray R.]

Nah, that's your coast, we can even still smoke in some restaurants...

Philip Morris is located in Richmond. They have a little pull at the statehouse.

[parrish]

Philip Morris is located in Richmond. They have a little pull at the statehouse.

Yeah, at least they still let me smoke on my own property...for now.

[Rattlehead]

Smokers are the new lepers.

[Jack Zodiac]

What are the first 3 words in every Mexican cookbook?

Steal a chicken.

That, or "grab some tinfoil."

[Guapo Méndez]

What are the first 3 words in every Mexican cookbook?

Steal a chicken.

Wrong.
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.


One of our bestselling cookbooks starts with the legendary words "steal a pig".

[Chris Nowlin]

Wrong.
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.


One of our bestselling cookbooks starts with the legendary words "steal a pig".

Quiet, you.

You're keeping everybody awake at night!

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

Smokers are the new lepers.

I thought we were the new gays - people seem to be offended by what we stick in our mouths.

(It's the gay Mexican smokers I feel for most).

[Sabrinaset]

A gay Mexican once kept me up all night.

I learned more about Ed in this one post than I have in the last two years.

[Sean Whitmore]

I learned more about Ed in this one post than I have in the last two years.

I learned that gay Mexicans have lower standards than I thought.

They must have been after Ed's chicken.


SEAN

[Nikita]

I thought we were the new gays - people seem to be offended by what we stick in our mouths.

(It's the gay Mexican smokers I feel for most).


Only on CBR, can one expect to see this combination of words put together eventually for some reason or another.

[J. Robb]

This year it's Illegal Immigrants. It's THEE topic. Just this week I've got junk mail and an answering machine message encouraging me to vote for "so and so" because they WILL BE TOUGH ON Illegal Immigrants.
You know things are bad when politicians are ripping off Mayor Quimby.

Have they repealed the Bear Tax yet?

[Floyd The Barber]

Only on CBR, can one expect to see this combination of words put together eventually for some reason or another.

One of the many reasons to love CBR!

[Charles RB]

So all loud drunken students at 1AM round here are secretly gay Mexicans?

Goddamn, they really are getting everywhere!