A Bit OT: I Need The HellBoard's Feedback

[Myron L]

I am about ready to do a basement-budget self-publication (my first sequential release ever) entitled "The Archivist"...Issue One is all but done and I would like my friends, acquaintences and everyone else to leave me commentary on the art, flow, story...anything !
Here is the world preview (drum roll ?...NAH !!lol)

Be honest...I am constantly (I hope) evolving from that eight year-old kid of almost twenty years ago who drew his own Avengers and X-Men comics on lined paper with crayon in the dream of someday being the real deal...

Thanks!
-Myron

[Myron L]

The next few pages...

[Myron L]

and the last few...

[SpydaWeb]

Are the pages in order? I think it's important to be able to tell what's happening just based on the visuals. As it is, I can't tell what's happening, even after reading some of the dialog.

[gdeo]

looks pretty cool!!!

[Myron L]

Are the pages in order? I think it's important to be able to tell what's happening just based on the visuals. As it is, I can't tell what's happening, even after reading some of the dialog.

Yes, they should read chronologically....you will find there is a dream sequence in the middle which may have seemed to interrupt the flow...

[Myron L]

Thanks,Gary!

[Kelly Tindall]

Hi PsychoFyre.

As far as first comics go, it's not too bad. You've got anatomy issues all over the place and your storytelling needs a ton of work, but I think you're showing promise and I'll give you some advice.

1) Work in black and white. Your colors are really hurting your work right now, and a lot of your stylistic issues will work themselves out much faster if you spot the blacks properly and concentrate on the storytelling.

A good graphic design sense will help you to mask weaknesses in your art while it improves. Which it will, quickly, if you keep it up!

2) Don't bother with flashy panel breaks and bent panels... Just concentrate on storytelling. Storytelling, storytelling. Make sure your characters are connected to their environment. Draw backgrounds. Make sure you give lip service to perspective. Make sure the panels flow into each other naturally. Make sure that you use close-ups and long shots when they warrant.

3) And never, ever, ever stop drawing.

[Lilitu]

I really like the number five. Keep on the good work and, as Kelly wrote, never stop drawing!!(like me...:( )

[Myron L]

Hi PsychoFyre.

As far as first comics go, it's not too bad. You've got anatomy issues all over the place and your storytelling needs a ton of work, but I think you're showing promise and I'll give you some advice.

1) Work in black and white. Your colors are really hurting your work right now, and a lot of your stylistic issues will work themselves out much faster if you spot the blacks properly and concentrate on the storytelling.

A good graphic design sense will help you to mask weaknesses in your art while it improves. Which it will, quickly, if you keep it up!

2) Don't bother with flashy panel breaks and bent panels... Just concentrate on storytelling. Storytelling, storytelling. Make sure your characters are connected to their environment. Draw backgrounds. Make sure you give lip service to perspective. Make sure the panels flow into each other naturally. Make sure that you use close-ups and long shots when they warrant.

3) And never, ever, ever stop drawing.


Thanks,Kelly....good critique....

As always, Lilitu...thanks for the support.