Not The Gauntlet: Batman Vs. A Black Hole

[Pink Bat Max]

Okay, this isn't meant to supplant the Superhero Guantlet, where I look forward to Namor kicking Batman's ass (C'mon people, in your hearts you KNOW he would.)

But, it's hard to convince Bat-Fans that Batman can lose against.... well... anyone. So this is my attempt to speed up the process of unseating Bats. This is the situation.

Batman is cruisin' around the rooftops of Gotham. Suddenly, for whatever reason, a black hole opens up, of a suitable size to instantly engulf the solar system.

Who wins: Batman, or the Black Hole?

Don't just vote.... defend your answers! Bonus points is awarded for creative explanations of how Batman would defeat near-infinate gravitational pull.

[WhiteRose]

Sad to say, but I bet he has a 'Black Hole Repelent Spray' somewhere in his utility belt.

[Larry Dixon]

In the microseconds between the appearance of the black hole and the Batman's death, the contingency plan program that Batman put in place years before activates. The signal from his batsuit onboard telemetry (sewn in microcircuits throughout his cowl and, hey, the pointy ears are not just decorative, they're transdimensional WayneTech antennae) goes out, igniting the alert electrodes in the unremovable Bat-Buttplug jammed up Darkseid's asshole (he looks that way for a reason, everyone).

Darkseid knows that if he doesn't come eat that freakish black hole, the UltraMegaDoomCosmoCubeBatButtBomb will go off and turn his rectum into Blown-Out-Apoka-Lips, so, off be boomtubes in an instant to save Batman's life and remove the black hole from threatening the Dark Knight. And it works, exactly the way Batman knew it would. Exactly as he planned it.

Because he's the goddamn Batman.

[Tyr]

A Black Hole? Seriously Pink, we both know theres only one force in the universe that can beat the pants off Batman....

http://img504.imageshack.us/img504/889/9b72kk5.jpg

Though she would probably prefer another way of getting his pants off :p

[Alex L]

http://www.shortpacked.com/comics/20050131a.gif

Seemed oddly appropriate.

[Sabrinaset]

A Black Hole? Seriously Pink, we both know theres only one force in the universe that can beat the pants off Batman....

http://img504.imageshack.us/img504/889/9b72kk5.jpg

Though she would probably prefer another way of getting his pants off :p


That's a different kind of black hole! :p

[Lester C.]

Am I the only one who read this thread as Batman versus a black whore?

[Karl J Barnes]

http://www.shortpacked.com/comics/20050131a.gif

Seemed oddly appropriate.

Freakin' BRILLIANT! The Bat-God rises again!!

[NathanielEssex]

In the microseconds between the appearance of the black hole and the Batman's death, the contingency plan program that Batman put in place years before activates. The signal from his batsuit onboard telemetry (sewn in microcircuits throughout his cowl and, hey, the pointy ears are not just decorative, they're transdimensional WayneTech antennae) goes out, igniting the alert electrodes in the unremovable Bat-Buttplug jammed up Darkseid's asshole (he looks that way for a reason, everyone).

Darkseid knows that if he doesn't come eat that freakish black hole, the UltraMegaDoomCosmoCubeBatButtBomb will go off and turn his rectum into Blown-Out-Apoka-Lips, so, off be boomtubes in an instant to save Batman's life and remove the black hole from threatening the Dark Knight. And it works, exactly the way Batman knew it would. Exactly as he planned it.

Because he's the goddamn Batman.

That is the single greatest thing I have ever read on the internet! If it weren't so large a quote, it would be in my signature. :D

[NickThompson]

Does Batman get prep time?

[Pink Bat Max]

In the microseconds between the appearance of the black hole and the Batman's death...... *snipped*

You get a gold star.

[Pink Bat Max]

A Black Hole? Seriously Pink, we both know theres only one force in the universe that can beat the pants off Batman....

http://img504.imageshack.us/img504/889/9b72kk5.jpg

Though she would probably prefer another way of getting his pants off :p

yeah, THAT'S mah girl!

[Tyr]

That's a different kind of black hole! :p

But quite similiar in some sense, I'm pretty sure if she willed it nothing could escape from that hole either. :p

[Hurricane]

I'm glad my guantlet is popular enough to warrent not one, but THREE parodies.

[Pink Bat Max]

I'm glad my guantlet is popular enough to warrent not one, but THREE parodies.

Satire is the sincerest form of flattery, or something like that.

[Night Swordsman]

I just think the black hole has more personality....:rolleyes: