Idiots at your Public Libary!

[Legionair]

A week ago, I went to the libary for a book meeting with a profestional magictian (he was realy good and not a fake). When I was waiting in line I looked around. Infront of me was a pink flyer that said:"LEARN TO READ LESSONS."
Can you belive that! And thats not all on the back it said: "Benifits: Learn to speak english."
The writing on the flyer was english!
And remember the flyer was also in the library! Who makes a flyer for people that can't read for their sake of not reading IN A LIBARY WHERE YOU WOULD BE TO READ! I mean its not like- I can't read I'm going to the Libary! And if you can read what you can't read somethings just plain wrong.
-IDIOTS-

[markblack]

Is it a joke that you spelled 'benefits' 'magician' and 'library' incorrectly?

[dan bailey]

Is it a joke that you spelled 'benefits' 'magician' and 'library' incorrectly?

Not to mention roughly every other third word ...

[Dan Apodaca]

If you're interested in taking lessons on how to read english, I imagine the Library would be the obvious place to go.

[Jack Zodiac]

Man... just, this has to be a joke, right? I mean, come on!

[K'Nort]

If you're interested in taking lessons on how to read english, I imagine the Library would be the obvious place to go.

Yes, it would.

Not to mention that the occasional (and, of course, totally undeserving) person who can't already read sometimes has a friend or relative who can read and will see the flier and think of them.

[Stony]

I would just like to take this opportunity to highlight how much more awesome New Zealand libraries are than yours.

Currently reading Alan Moore and Melinda Gebbe's's LOST GIRLS, courtesy of my neighbourhood friendly library.

Bloody glad I read it before buying it though... I mean, I love Alan and all but I dunno if LG is really a book I'd want to own...

[Kid Kyoto]

Yes, it would.

Not to mention that the occasional (and, of course, totally undeserving) person who can't already read sometimes has a friend or relative who can read and will see the flier and think of them.

And that there are levels of reading, someone might get 'learn to read' but not 'examine post-modern literature in a feminist paradigm' and those classes may bridge that gap.

[markblack]

The libraries I have worked at, ranging from public to university to private institution, have been broad minded enough to always include graphic novels and comic related books.

The local library here in Halifax is particularly well stocked when it comes to graphic novels. I am pretty sure it has more than a little to do with the influence of the local comic book store, Strange Adventures.

[Legionair]

Not to mention roughly every other third word
I was in a rush-sorry.

[Legionair]

You guys don't get it. If you can't read, why would you be in a library if you can't read and don't make an excuse about somebody going and see the flyer to give to their son or daughter-honestly. It is an obvios place to go to learn to read but if you can't walk there then how will you get there other than ride bikes or something, you can't call in a bus because you wouldn't be able to read. You can't drive. If you did drive this is what would happen: Hey, what does that sign say! Hey why are their books in that place? (and soon you would probaly get lost because you wouldn't know where you are going!!!)

[Sean Whitmore]

Maybe the flier was meant to attract all the people who go to the library to get magician lessons.


SEAN

[Kirk G]

A library would be a logical place for these lessons to be held.
Plus, as a repository of knowledge, it would be a place of respect and study.

Also, the flyer is not only aimed at those who can't read, but for others who CAN and can help identify those who need help.... speaking English, reading English, and learning to study.

This is much like those signs in resturants that say "Seeing Eye Dogs Permitted". It's not for the blind or the dog, but for all the rest of us to understand!

[Michael P]

You guys don't get it. If you can't read, why would you be in a library if you can't read

To find someone who will teach you to read.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

You guys don't get it. If you can't read, why would you be in a library if you can't read and don't make an excuse about somebody going and see the flyer to give to their son or daughter-honestly. It is an obvios place to go to learn to read but if you can't walk there then how will you get there other than ride bikes or something, you can't call in a bus because you wouldn't be able to read. You can't drive. If you did drive this is what would happen: Hey, what does that sign say! Hey why are their books in that place? (and soon you would probaly get lost because you wouldn't know where you are going!!!)

My mother teaches kids at primary school (elementary) how to read - kids who 's ability is several grades below what it should be.
Those kids can easily identify words by their shapes if they see them all the time without reading them - such as bus numbers/suburb names/common words - it's just putting them altogether that troubles them - and sometimes they misidentify other words, because they look like words they've taught themselves to recognize.

These are pre-teen kids, so one assumes that an adult who can't read will have the same tricks up their sleeve - otherwise they wouldn't be able to function in society, and would have learned to read already - maybe not enough to read all of the sign, but enough to know to go to a library.

Of course, a patronizing dilettante like yourself knows better, so feel free to call other people idiots, for trying to help others - anything as long as you feel better.

Word for the wise though, if you're going to make fun of people not being able to read, learn spelling, grammar and good sentence structure (or at least run a spell check), because otherwise you look like a hypocritical fool.

[Legionair]

I'm not calling the people who can't read idiots I'm calling the people who put up the sign, idiots. It is for the people who can't read it. And basicly everything revolves about reading includding the sign. No effence at this joke for the people that can't read.

[Legionair]

My mother teaches kids at primary school (elementary) how to read - kids who 's ability is several grades below what it should be.
Those kids can easily identify words by their shapes if they see them all the time without reading them - such as bus numbers/suburb names/common words - it's just putting them altogether that troubles them - and sometimes they misidentify other words, because they look like words they've taught themselves to recognize.

These are pre-teen kids, so one assumes that an adult who can't read will have the same tricks up their sleeve - otherwise they wouldn't be able to function in society, and would have learned to read already - maybe not enough to read all of the sign, but enough to know to go to a library.

Of course, a patronizing dilettante like yourself knows better, so feel free to call other people idiots, for trying to help others - anything as long as you feel better.

Word for the wise though, if you're going to make fun of people not being able to read, learn spelling, grammar and good sentence structure (or at least run a spell check), because otherwise you look like a hypocritical fool.

I write for a living and I'm not making fun of the people who try to teach them to read but how would you know where to get transportation. Mean yea, they can read a few words, but this isn't supposed to be something to make a fuss about. Because all I'm saying is that why you shouldn't put up a sign for people to learn how to read but they can't meaning they can't read the flyer, and you guys know how flyers have 10 times the information they do have on them, and my mom is also a teacher.

[Chris S.]

You guys don't get it. If you can't read, why would you be in a library if you can't read and don't make an excuse about somebody going and see the flyer to give to their son or daughter-honestly. It is an obvios place to go to learn to read but if you can't walk there then how will you get there other than ride bikes or something, you can't call in a bus because you wouldn't be able to read. You can't drive. If you did drive this is what would happen: Hey, what does that sign say! Hey why are their books in that place? (and soon you would probaly get lost because you wouldn't know where you are going!!!)

No offense man but your logic is ridiculous. You saw a flier somewhere about reading. Well maybe the fliers were all over the place you happened to see a few. And if you were new to the country and wanted to read the library would be the perfect place to go.

[glue]

I write for a living

I was going to make a snide comment, but then I remembered I'm grossly underqualified for my job as well.

[Jack Zodiac]

Fine, I'll do it, then.


I write for a living

X-books? Engrish ads? What do you write for a living that you can't compose full, comprehensive paragraphs in your posts, or even spell your own screen name correctly? And then you make a thread about how hilarious it is that someone would hang a note in the library offering to teach people how to read and write English, and all we can think is, "well, did you get their number?"

[Matt Algren]

I wouldn't usually do this, but given the circumstances, I think I'll make an exception. Following are the translations of Legionnaire's posts:



Last week I went to the library for a book meeting with a professional magician. He was really good and did actual magic. While I was waiting in line, I looked around. In front of me [I'm sure this is wrong (unless he was facing a wall, which doesn't make sense), but I don't know how to fix it.] was a pink flier that said "LEARN TO READ LESSONS."

Can you believe that? And that's not all! On the back it said "Benefits: Learn to speak English."

The writing on the flier was in English! And remember, the flier was also in the library! Who makes a flier for people who can't read . . .[unintelligible] . . . IN A LIBRARY WHERE YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO READ? I mean it's not like you would say, "I can't read; I'm going to the library!" And if you can read . . . [unintelligible] . . . just plain wrong.

IDIOTS!


You guys don't get it. Why would you be in a library if you can't read? And don't make an excuse about somebody going to see the flier to give to their son or daughter. Honestly.

It is an obvious place to go to learn to read, but if you can't walk there then how will you get there other than by riding a bike or something like that? You couldn't read a bus schedule[?] because you couldn't read. You can't drive. [no reason is given for your lack of driving ability] If you did drive, this is what would happen:

You: Hey, what does that sign say? Hey, why are there books in that place?

Soon you would probably get lost because you wouldn't know where you were going!


I'm not calling people who can't read idiots, I'm calling the people who put up the sign idiots. The sign is for people who can't read, and basically everything revolves around reading, including the sign. I mean no offense to the people who can't read.


I write for a living, and I'm not making fun of people who try to teach illiterate people to read, but how would you know where to get transportation? I mean yeah, they can read a few words, but this isn't supposed to be something to make a fuss about. [I have no idea.] All I'm saying is that you shouldn't put up a sign advertising services for people to learn how to read because they can't read the flier. And you guys know how fliers have ten times more information than they should have on them. [?]

My mom is also a teacher.

[Matt Algren]

Funky, you could stand to proofread a little too. I was five minutes into correcting your post before I realized that Legionnaire had quoted and not used the quote tags.

[Sean Whitmore]

Funky, you could stand to proofread a little too. I was five minutes into correcting your post before I realized that Legionnaire had quoted and not used the quote tags.

I'll take this opportunity to point out how much I love Firefox's spell checker.


SEAN

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

I'll take this opportunity to point out how much I love Firefox's spell checker.


SEAN

I do too - my post had no mistakes according to it.

[rick]

I would just like to take this opportunity to highlight how much more awesome New Zealand libraries are than yours.

Currently reading Alan Moore and Melinda Gebbe's's LOST GIRLS, courtesy of my neighbourhood friendly library.

Bloody glad I read it before buying it though... I mean, I love Alan and all but I dunno if LG is really a book I'd want to own...


That really doesn't impress me, I read the original Taboo issues at my local library branch about 15 years ago.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

I write for a living and I'm not making fun of the people who try to teach them to read but how would you know where to get transportation. Mean yea, they can read a few words, but this isn't supposed to be something to make a fuss about. Because all I'm saying is that why you shouldn't put up a sign for people to learn how to read but they can't meaning they can't read the flyer, and you guys know how flyers have 10 times the information they do have on them, and my mom is also a teacher.

Who or what do you write for?
Your profile lists your occupation as a student - I didn't think they had to do anything for a living (apart from eat the odd pizza and smoke the odd joint).

If you read my post, you would see how they would have managed to get transportation - they recognize words they need to use regularly, and can pick the shapes of others.
If you want to think it's stupid and pointless, fine.
But it isn't.
And if you aren't meaning to make fun of people who can't read, or want to help people to learn how to read, stop making assumptions and get some facts.

[Legionair]

I'm not that well known as a writer because I am working on a book now, my first but I have been published all over my school paper. I don't want to tell you anything about what I am writting about.
And agian I am not making fun of anybody. Not the people who can't read or the people helping them how to read. Its about putting up a sign for the people who can't undstand it. Like the other day, I went to Mcdonalds and went through the drive through and saw a sign on the pull up window for your order it said: We also have Picture and Brail menues.
And I also saw a couple weeks ago, a prof. comedian commented on that. So that proves that the signs are funny and you are not a laughing crowd period.

[Jack Zodiac]

It's funny when you don't think about it. When you think about it, it's completely logical. If you have a blind relative or friend, you can go to McDonald's and get them a Braille menu instead of treating them like children at the register by breaking the entire menu down for them. The picture menus, I think, are for the illiterate or for people who don't speak English.

The only thing that doesn't make any sense are drive-up ATMs with Braille buttons. Unless someone beat me to my Braille steering wheel idea.

The sign at the library you saw was for the illiterate or people who don't speak English, was hung in a public place for people who know people who could use those lessons to see. What's so hard to get about that?

[DarkBlade]

The only thing that doesn't make any sense are drive-up ATMs with Braille buttons. Unless someone beat me to my Braille steering wheel idea.

It makes sense if you figure they use the same buttons for all ATM machines, and some places only use driveups. Someone could have a blind passenger who doesn't want to share their PIN.

.. Yes, I actually thought about this at random one day.

[Sean Whitmore]

And I also saw a couple weeks ago, a prof. comedian commented on that.

Ooh, then you win this argument.



So that proves that the signs are funny and you are not a laughing crowd period.

Or it proves some people will laugh at anything.

That's probably why Dane Cook has a career.


SEAN

[BizarroBeachHead]

Or it proves some people will laugh at anything.

That's probably why Dane Cook has a career.


SEAN

BOOYAH!!!!

[Michael P]

Who or what do you write for?
Your profile lists your occupation as a student - I didn't think they had to do anything for a living (apart from eat the odd pizza and smoke the odd joint).


I ate a lot of odd pizzas when I was a student.

[stealthwise]

That's probably why Dane Cook has a career.


SEAN

Dane Cook has an actual CAREER? I thought that he just got pity laughs.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

It's funny when you don't think about it. When you think about it, it's completely logical.

Exactly.

Same with the old joke 'If the black box can't be damaged, why don't they make the whole plane out of the same stuff?' (I've heard several 'prof. comedians' say that).
And the answer, if given any thought/knowledge, is that the plane wouldn't be able to fly because it would be too heavy.


And I also saw a couple weeks ago, a prof. comedian commented on that. So that proves that the signs are funny and you are not a laughing crowd period.

No, it proves that the comedian wasn't trying too hard for his laughs because he figured his audience wasn't worth coming up with something truly funny - he just assumed the crowd wouldn't actually think about anything, they'd just laugh.

[Sean Whitmore]

Exactly.

Same with the old joke 'If the black box can't be damaged, why don't they make the whole plane out of the same stuff?' (I've heard several 'prof. comedians' say that).
And the answer, if given any thought/knowledge, is that the plane wouldn't be able to fly because it would be too heavy.

Andy Kindler had a good bit about comedians whose entire premise for a joke is wrong.

"What's the deal with sugar-free candy bars? What's THAT about? Who's THAT for?"

"It's for diabetics."


SEAN

[glue]

And I also saw a couple weeks ago, a prof. comedian commented on that. So that proves that the signs are funny and you are not a laughing crowd period.

So basically you stole an unfunny "joke" from a comedian and tried to play it off as some witty observation of your own? You should have your own show on Comedy Central.

[Sean Whitmore]

So basically you stole an unfunny "joke" from a comedian and tried to play it off as some witty observation of your own?

Fuck me for making a Dane Cook joke already. I should have waited for this setup!


SEAN

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

So basically you stole an unfunny "joke" from a comedian and tried to play it off as some witty observation of your own? You should have your own show on Comedy Central.

Not only that, he then tried to defend it!

But who am I to judge comedy?
This guy writes for a school paper.
For a living!

[Legionair]

You guys, are really a tough crowd. I'm not like how you think, laughing at everything. I am not like that at all.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Dane Cook has an actual CAREER? I thought that he just got pity laughs.

He also got to pity fuck Jessica Simpson last I heard. Damn....I so want a comedy career so I can pity fuck hot babes ! Screw the comedy. I'm just here to be made and laid.

[K'Nort]

So that proves that the signs are funny and you are not a laughing crowd period.

Oh we're laughing, all right.

[stealthwise]

Oh we're laughing, all right.

I'm chuckling more than anything. Maybe even chortling a bit.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

You guys, are really a tough crowd. I'm not like how you think, laughing at everything. I am not like that at all.

That's fine.

You made a joke, we didn't think it's that funny.

You just gotta move on man, not keep defending it.

Try something else, maybe we'll laugh.

[stealthwise]

That's fine.

You made a joke, we didn't think it's that funny.

You just gotta move on man, not keep defending it.

Try something else, maybe we'll laugh.

I think he's a pretty funny guy. His grammar cracks me up.

I kid, I kid. :)

[Puma]

There is also the library patron who is functionally illiterate. This individual can read very basic texts, differentiate between signs, and function enough in society so that others do not know that he/she cannot read beyond the most basic level. My library (I am a librarian) has a large number of such patrons, both kids and adults. These individuals are able to 'read' a sign that says "learn to read" they just can't read a book written for their age level. Many of these folks also use the internet, primarily kids since they are going to game sites that require minimal reading skill. To say the sign makers are stupid is simply showing one's ignorance of the situation; we (library workers) rarely put up signs and posters unless there is a perceived need/interest in the subject.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Usually when I go by my local Library to handle faxing things job wise , they have on the rare occasions had an adult reading class there. Some are teenagers and a few are adults who are learning to read. The sign is up near the counter for those who come to the library and they can ask the Librarian any questions about the class .

[Legionair]

Usually when I go by my local Library to handle faxing things job wise , they have on the rare occasions had an adult reading class there. Some are teenagers and a few are adults who are learning to read. The sign is up near the counter for those who come to the library and they can ask the Librarian any questions about the class .

Nice Period! The flyers are not next to the counter but they are upstairs next to the restrooms next to the kid's section or a couple feet away from the kids. Whats up with the avatar? It looks like a pervert's avatar.

[Jack Zodiac]

AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hoo... man.

That's the Swedish Date Rapist. Haven't you ever watched "The Muppet Show"?

[Puma]

Someone hasn't learned how to use the "quote" function, or quotation marks to denote someone's else's statement.

[howyadoin]

Someone hasn't learned how to use the "quote" function, or quotation marks to denote someone's else's statement. Quotation marks are for suckers, not for professional writers!

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Nice Period! The flyers are not next to the counter but they are upstairs next to the restrooms next to the kid's section or a couple feet away from the kids. Whats up with the avatar? It looks like a pervert's avatar.

All us swinging pedo muppets have one. I'm the Swedish Chef , you don't wanna see Gonzo's avator. That muppet is into hardcore bestality.

Anyhow.... I'm sure everyones local library is different . They have the flyers in different locations . Ours from what I've viewed is near the counter ...where the Librarians work.

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

Usually when I go by my local Library to handle faxing things job wise , they have on the rare occasions had an adult reading class there. Some are teenagers and a few are adults who are learning to read. The sign is up near the counter for those who come to the library and they can ask the Librarian any questions about the class .

Nice Period! The flyers are not next to the counter but they are upstairs next to the restrooms next to the kid's section or a couple feet away from the kids. Whats up with the avatar? It looks like a pervert's avatar.

Hang on - it's near the kids section???

Shit, who could the sign be for then?
Possibly parents whose children are struggling at school?
Or is that just another piece of reality getting in the way of your killer joke?

And speaking of perverts avatars, what are you doing in the kids section?

[Sean Whitmore]

And speaking of perverts avatars, what are you doing in the kids section?

Cause that's where the magicians give their lessons.

Duh.


SEAN

[Jack Zodiac]

"And for my next trick, I'm going to make a weiner appear from inside my pants and make it disapear in little Bobby's mouth."

MAGIC!

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

I'm still wondering where the distinction between a 'pro' magician and a 'fake' magician came from in the first post.
How is there a real difference?
This guy doesn't use sleight of hand - HE ACTUALLY MAKES THINGS DISAPPEAR! FOR EVER!
Is he approved by the Magicians Alliance?

[Sean Whitmore]

Not if he's giving away secrets, he's not.


SEAN

[Brad Barton]

"And for my next trick, I'm going to make a weiner appear from inside my pants and make it disapear in little Bobby's mouth."

MAGIC!I'm not sure if there'd be an encore after this one...

[Matt Algren]

Is he approved by the Magicians Alliance?It's an illusion, Funky. A trick is something a whore does for money....or cocaine.

[Dan Apodaca]

I'm still wondering where the distinction between a 'pro' magician and a 'fake' magician came from in the first post.
How is there a real difference?
This guy doesn't use sleight of hand - HE ACTUALLY MAKES THINGS DISAPPEAR! FOR EVER!
Is he approved by the Magicians Alliance?

I heard he got the cover of Poof! magazine. The rumor is that he's subbing under Tony Wonder next fall, as Jeremy Incredulity.

[BizarroBeachHead]

I heard he got the cover of Poof! magazine. The rumor is that he's subbing under Tony Wonder next fall, as Jeremy Incredulity.

I should be in that poof!

[Matt Algren]

I should be in that poof!
http://the-op.com/images/episode/204/gob-in-this-poof_sm.jpg

[Matt Algren]

Also,

http://the-op.com/images/episode/204/gob-gary-chair_sm.jpg

[BizarroBeachHead]

He's gunna think I was coming onto him...

I love this thread as much as I love that show.

[Legionair]

I was next to the kids section and now I can remember the Muppets Show chef but how did you remember his name!?

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

I was next to the kids section and now I can remember the Muppets Show chef but how did you remember his name!?

Comic fans remembering something from their childhoods?

Bizarre!

[SUPERECWFAN1]

I was next to the kids section and now I can remember the Muppets Show chef but how did you remember his name!?

Because the Swedish Chef knows fear. He knows the innermost thoughts you have. He inspires pure terror !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCJLCc8DRrk

[howyadoin]

Is Legionair an airline?

[Dan Apodaca]

I was next to the kids section and now I can remember the Muppets Show chef but how did you remember his name!?

Brains! They're amazing!

[K'Nort]

Brains! They're amazing!

And tasty!