I have a theory about Squirrel Girl...

[lonewolf23k]

She's a mutant, right?

She's got animalistic powers, right?

She's got enhanced senses, right?

She's got claws and knuckle-spikes, right?

And most importantly, she's got a jobber aura that lets her defeat anyone she faces in combat, right?

...Is it possible Squirrel Girl might be Wolverine's illegitimate daughter?

[Monty_Cristo]

She's a mutant, right?

She's got animalistic powers, right?

She's got enhanced senses, right?

She's got claws and knuckle-spikes, right?

And most importantly, she's got a jobber aura that lets her defeat anyone she faces in combat, right?

...Is it possible Squirrel Girl might be Wolverine's illegitimate daughter?

you might be on to something. i've since had to give up on my hopes that Ant-Man was Wolverine's son.

Eric had mutant sideburns

He was a manwhore

he had a beserker rage

he had an unseen knuckle spike in his armor

and he had red hair like most of the women Wolverine would have slept with

[Bryson the Red]

A squirrel is sort of like a small girlie wolverine.

[Sijo]

Actually, if we're going to work Squirrel Girl as being into actual continuity (I'm still not sure all her appearances count- sort of the way the Byrne She-Hulk stuff is in continuity but not the way the issues told the stories) she would have to have someone cosmic backing her up. Like Numinus, the Whoopie Goldberg-faced entity from "Power Pack" that controlled luck and inspiration. Yeah, she would be the type to turn a loser into a winner just to "inspire" other heroes. :rolleyes:

[ChildOfTheDarkholde]

She is a Skrull.

[Sandy Hausler]

Actually, if we're going to work Squirrel Girl as being into actual continuity (I'm still not sure all her appearances count- sort of the way the Byrne She-Hulk stuff is in continuity but not the way the issues told the stories) she would have to have someone cosmic backing her up. Like Numinus, the Whoopie Goldberg-faced entity from "Power Pack" that controlled luck and inspiration. Yeah, she would be the type to turn a loser into a winner just to "inspire" other heroes. :rolleyes:

You mean the Blonde Phantom WAS a member of the All-Winners Squad?

Sandy Hausler

[Joe Acro]

I'm still thinking she's just delusional.

[Brian M.]

I found the one villian Squirrel Girl couldn't beat...my drive side front tire. She just shot out across the road...I'm sorry. Good news is though now her and Flatman have more incommon.

[DaeJi]

I think she has a "I can beat anyone no matter how powerful or liked they are" power.

[DaeJi]

I found the one villian Squirrel Girl couldn't beat...my drive side front tire. She just shot out across the road...I'm sorry. Good news is though now her and Flatman have more incommon.

You killed Tippy-Toe?!

[Labman]

Squirrel-gal has beat up on tons of powerful MU characters....and won
she's just WYLD

[Shellhead]

Ever seen a fight scene where somebody really tears into Wolverine, with his flesh and blood splattering about? Maybe some of this flesh and blood slowly regenerated into new Wolverines, which could explain how he appears in so many monthly titles. And maybe sometimes the regeneration mutated into something else, like Squirrel Girl.

On the other hand, Wolverine has been around for a very long time, and has presumably got more than a few ladies pregnant. Squirrel Girl could be his great-granddaughter by way of one of his early flings.

[Big Red Spider]

She just IS a badass. I don't know why that's so hard to understand. She's proved it time and time again. She might be wolvie's illegitimate daughter, but she's definitly a better fighter and could whip her old man. Who knows, they might have to bring her in to stop WWH.

[Quinch]

Who knows, they might have to bring her in to stop WWH.

Oh thats just great.
Overkill..pfft.

Runs to warn Big Green

[Miss Kitty Fantastico]

I still think it's Grasshopper who's behind it, albeit inadvertently. Most heroes get their fair share of improbably good luck - the henchmen forget how to aim just when the hero's charging them, the villain's lieutenant decides to backstab him just when the hero needs a distraction, the timer on the doomsday device always lasts long enough for the hero to save the day... Grasshopper gets none of that. I think somehow Squirrel Girl is getting all of Grasshopper's 'hero luck', in addition to her own, and therefore is exponentially more victorious than any other hero.

[Froggy]

I still think it's Grasshopper who's behind it, albeit inadvertently. Most heroes get their fair share of improbably good luck - the henchmen forget how to aim just when the hero's charging them, the villain's lieutenant decides to backstab him just when the hero needs a distraction, the timer on the doomsday device always lasts long enough for the hero to save the day... Grasshopper gets none of that. I think somehow Squirrel Girl is getting all of Grasshopper's 'hero luck', in addition to her own, and therefore is exponentially more victorious than any other hero. grasshopper........poor grasshopper

[Monty_Cristo]

grasshopper........poor grasshopper

he has a nice costume. i'd like to see Squirrel Girl join the New Avengers/replace Spider-woman.

[DaeJi]

I wonder if Grasshopper would just change his name this wouldn't keep happening to them?

[Monty_Cristo]

I wonder if Grasshopper would just change his name this wouldn't keep happening to them?

he should change it to slaying mantis.

[Spidercat]

How does everyone here think Squirrel Girl feels about Iron Man now? He used to be her favorite hero and she did join his 50-states Initiative, but on the other hand she has no qualms about breaking into the SHIELD helicarrier and her own sense of morality would probably make her question some of Iron Man's more brutal tactics. (Beyond that she hates alcoholism and knows Iron Man once murdered a UN Ambassador while drunk)

For that matter, how do you think Iron Man (who seems to want to exploit or control every superhuman in the world now) feels about Squirrel Girl?

[ninjapeps]

Actually, if we're going to work Squirrel Girl as being into actual continuity (I'm still not sure all her appearances count- sort of the way the Byrne She-Hulk stuff is in continuity but not the way the issues told the stories) she would have to have someone cosmic backing her up. Like Numinus, the Whoopie Goldberg-faced entity from "Power Pack" that controlled luck and inspiration. Yeah, she would be the type to turn a loser into a winner just to "inspire" other heroes. :rolleyes:

her off-panel victories only count in GLA issues since they're obviously jokes. they're really only seriously considered canon by people who think it's funnier that way.

[Kevinroc]

her off-panel victories only count in GLA issues since they're obviously jokes. they're really only seriously considered canon by people who think it's funnier that way.

She beat Doom in a comic done by Ditko. That's good enough for me. :)

[Monty_Cristo]

How does everyone here think Squirrel Girl feels about Iron Man now? He used to be her favorite hero and she did join his 50-states Initiative, but on the other hand she has no qualms about breaking into the SHIELD helicarrier and her own sense of morality would probably make her question some of Iron Man's more brutal tactics. (Beyond that she hates alcoholism and knows Iron Man once murdered a UN Ambassador while drunk)

For that matter, how do you think Iron Man (who seems to want to exploit or control every superhuman in the world now) feels about Squirrel Girl?

if he had drunkenly killed someone, he would be in prison. his armor was controlled.

[lonewolf23k]

How does everyone here think Squirrel Girl feels about Iron Man now? He used to be her favorite hero and she did join his 50-states Initiative, but on the other hand she has no qualms about breaking into the SHIELD helicarrier and her own sense of morality would probably make her question some of Iron Man's more brutal tactics. (Beyond that she hates alcoholism and knows Iron Man once murdered a UN Ambassador while drunk)

For that matter, how do you think Iron Man (who seems to want to exploit or control every superhuman in the world now) feels about Squirrel Girl?

Why do you think the GLI got a fancy new HQ with all the works in the GLI summer special? If the GLI is happy, then Squirrel Girl is happy. And Tony knows he's better off with Squirrel Girl being happy. He's seen her defeat Doom.

...And he hasn't finished working on the squirrel-proof armor.

[Sijo]

She beat Doom in a comic done by Ditko. That's good enough for me. :)True, but everyone has his off days, even the old Great creators like Ditko. Remember, Reed Richard's solution to get rid of the first Skrulls he encountered was hypnotizing them into thinking they were... cows. And that backfired big time when people drank their milk and ate their meat. You'd think the smartest man on Earth would've known better. And that was an actual Lee/Kirby story. :P

[ninjapeps]

She beat Doom in a comic done by Ditko. That's good enough for me. :)

that's different. SG beating Dr. Doom was clearly shown on panel and therefore counts towards continuity. besides, Tippy Toe said it counted so who are we to argue? :D

[Spidercat]

Why do you think the GLI got a fancy new HQ with all the works in the GLI summer special? If the GLI is happy, then Squirrel Girl is happy. And Tony knows he's better off with Squirrel Girl being happy. He's seen her defeat Doom.

...And he hasn't finished working on the squirrel-proof armor.

Heh, good point (I was wondering why GLI rated such fancy equipment and digs).

Even so, I'd love to see a "sequel" to the original Ditko Squirrel Girl story, where IRON-MAN tries to recruit Squirrel Girl to join his SHIELD team, only to have Squirrel Girl politely turn him down.

Ha! Take THAT Tony! Didn't know a good thing when it was offered to you, did you? :evilsmile

[Spidercat]

her off-panel victories only count in GLA issues since they're obviously jokes. they're really only seriously considered canon by people who think it's funnier that way.

Although we did see her beat MODOK on-panel -- in a feasible if comedic way -- in the X-Mas Special. I'd consider that cannon.

[DannyV_El_Acme]

What I'd like to see is what Squirrel Girl would think about Speedball joining the Thunderbolts as Penance, since they have history (it was in a comic called I Love Marvel: Something Or Other, can't remember). They reveal that Squirrel Girl has a crush on Speedball, and she actually saved Speedball's life in the issue. It's freaky, because he was in Wisconsin promoting his show... The same show that filmed the destruction of Stamford.

[hyzmarca]

She might point out the fact that his constant self-flagellation is annoying and that if he wants to redeem himself and torture himself for something that wasn't even his fault at the same time, he could just sell his soul to Mephisto in exchange for bringing everyone who died in Stamford back to life.
If she could get rid of the single most annoying character in Marvel today, then she'd be a real hero.

[Big Red Spider]

What I'd like to see is what Squirrel Girl would think about Speedball joining the Thunderbolts as Penance, since they have history (it was in a comic called I Love Marvel: Something Or Other, can't remember). They reveal that Squirrel Girl has a crush on Speedball, and she actually saved Speedball's life in the issue. It's freaky, because he was in Wisconsin promoting his show... The same show that filmed the destruction of Stamford.

She might point out the fact that his constant self-flagellation is annoying and that if he wants to redeem himself and torture himself for something that wasn't even his fault at the same time, he could just sell his soul to Mephisto in exchange for bringing everyone who died in Stamford back to life.
If she could get rid of the single most annoying character in Marvel today, then she'd be a real hero.

I'm deep now! Im deep, im deep im deep!

[Cthulhudrew]

What I'd like to see is what Squirrel Girl would think about Speedball joining the Thunderbolts as Penance, since they have history (it was in a comic called I Love Marvel: Something Or Other, can't remember).

Hm. Either you're being sarcastic, or you haven't picked up the Deadpool/GLI Summer Fun Spectacular yet. And shame on you if so! :eek:

[DannyV_El_Acme]

Hm. Either you're being sarcastic, or you haven't picked up the Deadpool/GLI Summer Fun Spectacular yet. And shame on you if so! :eek:

No I haven't. I'm in the army, we don't really have access to comic books here. Would you mind spoiling it for me? I really wanna know!

And for the record, I think Squirrel Girl is yummy :)

[ninjapeps]

No I haven't. I'm in the army, we don't really have access to comic books here. Would you mind spoiling it for me? I really wanna know!

And for the record, I think Squirrel Girl is yummy :)
at the start of the Deadpool/GLI special, Deadpool gives SG a copy of Civil War: Front Line #10, the issue where Speedball becomes Penance. she's shocked at what happened to Robbie and breaks into Thunderbolt Mountain to talk to him.

you can see the scene here (http://community.livejournal.com/scans_daily/3727145.html)

[DaeJi]

No I haven't. I'm in the army, we don't really have access to comic books here. Would you mind spoiling it for me? I really wanna know!

And for the record, I think Squirrel Girl is yummy :)

One, all kinds of creepy. And here's a tread that discusses the GLI/Deadpool issue: http://forums.comicbookresources.com/showthread.php?t=182178. It was great; so, do you guys get any comics in army?

[DannyV_El_Acme]

Well, we get comics... We just don't get any time to READ them, and they just bring random comics. We get the basic big titles(Superman, Batman, X-Men, Spidey, etc.), but the less mainstream books are nowhere to be found.

Honestly, I can't wait to get done with training and stationed with private quarters, then I swear I'll turn my house int the comics equivalent of Scrooge McDuck's money bin!

[Tim OSullivan]

THIS IS OFFICIALLY THE FUNNIEST THREAD OF THE YEAR-

Congrats to all.