PDA: Personal Djinni Assistant (a comic script)

[Radical]

PDA: Personal Djinni Assistant

a comic idea by Radical

PAGE 1

Panel 1: Our teenage hero, KEITH, is looking down at a personal digital assistant (PDA). He's in an inner-city-type environment, with buildings starting to fall into disrepair.

KEITH: Hmm? What's this?

KEITH: Somebody dropped their PDA.

Panel 2: Keith has picked up the PDA.

KEITH: Maybe if I turn it on, I can find the owner's name and address book so I can return it. And I suppose I could keep it if I can't find them.

Panel 3: ECU of Keith's finger pressing the "ON" button.

KEITH: Here goes...

Panel 4: Wide shot. Keith is staring as a beam of energy fires from the PDA, and a girl in a "genie" costume materializes. The girl is KAZZARA, a genie.

KEITH: What the...

KAZZARA: Never fear, master...

KAZZARA: ...your Personal Djinni Assistant is here! (WRITER'S NOTE: The words "Personal Djinni Assistant" can, and preferably should, be written in the style of the logo.)

PAGE 2

Panel 1: Kazzara, floating in mid-air, looks down at the confused Keith, taking in his modern clothes.

KAZZARA: Hmmm...the fashions sure have changed in the past few centuries.

KAZZARA: Gimme a minute to concentrate...

Panel 2: Close-up on Kazzara's eyes, closed in concentration as she sees other examples of modern fashions, especially girls'/women's clothing.

KAZZARA: Hmm...humans seem to wear weird stuff these days...

Panel 3: Kazzara is surrounded by a magical effect and her harem garb has been replaced by a trendy outfit.

KAZZARA: Got it!

KAZZARA: Hope you like this, master!

Panel 4: Keith is running away from a confused Kazzara in a panic.

KEITH: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

PAGE 3

Panel 1: Keith slams into a wall.

SFX: WHUD!

KEITH: Unnh!

Panel 2: Wide shot of an alley. Kazzara is floating up to Keith, but he's cringing in comic terror. Judging from the way he's holding his nose, he broke it when he hit the wall.

KAZZARA: Master? Are you --

KEITH: I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT! JUST DON'T HURT ME!

Panel 3: Kazzara's facial expression, confused.

Panel 4: Kazzara now looks disappointed/annoyed.

KAZZARA: Firstly, boss-man, Djinnis are forbidden to hurt mortals, especially their masters.

KAZZARA: Secondly, you've got it backwards: I'M here to do what YOU want.

Panel 5: Kazzara is still floating before the cringing Keith, and she's looking pissed.

KAZZARA: I mean, jeez, didn't you ever hear the story of Aladdin?

KEITH: B-but that's just IT! Genies don't exist except in movies and fairy tales and TV sitcoms and sexual fantasies and --

PAGE 4

Panel 1: Kazzara is raising her arms and screaming in a frustrated rage.

KAZZARA: (in letters so big they fill the entire panel) ENOUGH!

Panel 2: Kazzara reaches to shake hands with Keith.

KAZZARA: Ahem...let's try this again.

KAZZARA: Hi! My name's Kazzara. I'm your Personal --

KEITH: My "Personal Djinni Assistant." You said that already.

Panel 3: Kazzara is looking at Keith's nose, which is now obviously bleeding and broken.

KAZZARA: Right! So--hey, you're bleeding real badly there. You want for your first wish I should heal it?

KEITH: Yeah, I guess.

Panel 4: Close-up of Kazzara touching Keith's nose. It's healed and glowing with magical energy. Keith is surprised by this.

KAZZARA: There! How's that?

KEITH: Uhh...thanks?

PAGE 5

Panel 1: Keith's looking inquisitive; Kazzara's rolling her eyes in amusement.

KEITH: So...I thought genies didn't even exist.

KAZZARA: Huh! Shows how much you know!

Panel 2: A "space" scene, with giant-sized Djinnis walking around. (I'm thinking of having them be "naked", clad in glowing energy effects.)

KAZZARA/CAPTION: "A long time ago, around the dawn of the universe, the Djinni race came into being."

Panel 3: A Djinni's foot steps on a planet, crushing it like a human stepping on an eggshell.
PLANET: Aaaarrgh!
CAPTION: "With our unlimited control of the cosmic energy that flowed through us, we were virtually gods, and all other beings were ants."

Panel 4: Demonic figures terrorizing an Arabian Nights-era city. People fleeing in panic, etc.
CAPTION: "Your legends probably tell of us being evil demons plaguing mankind. But nothing was further from the truth."

Panel 5: One Djinni turns to face another.

PLANET: (off-panel) Aaaarrgh!

DJINNI #1: Did you hear a noise?

DJINNI #2: No...probably your imagination.

CAPTION: "We didn't bear anyone ill will...most sentients were just beneath us."

PAGE 6

Panel 1: A Djinni is looking down.

VOICE: (off-panel) Hey!!

CAPTION: "Then, one day, something odd happened."

Panel 2: An ant's-eye view of Earth, with the Djinni looking down.

CAPTION: "Imagine you're taking a walk, and suddenly you hear a voice yelling...

EARTH: Watch where you're going!

CAPTION: "You realize the voice is coming from the anthill you're about to step on."

Panel 3: Djinnis, now human-sized and clad in slave garb, bowing before a kingly-looking human.

CAPTION: "So it was with us. Somehow, some sorceror or whatever used his magic to commune with us because he wanted us to not hurt humans."

Panel 4: Djinnis being absorbed into metal lamps, rings, bottles, etc.

CAPTION: "He cast us into metallic prisons that absorbed our energies, and demanded that we serve whoever released us."

Panel 5: Archetypal image of a Djinni being released from his lamp.

CAPTION: "Not that we had a problem with slavery, or anything. We saw our servitude as a fair price for being able to observe human nature."

PAGE 7

Panel 1: Kazzara's finishing her story.

KAZZARA: As human civilizations grew more advanced, two things happened that made it difficult for Djinnis to help mortals. One was the advance of scientific thought, which said "Genies and magic don't exist". Another was the outlawing of slavery.

Panel 2: Kazzara holds up the PDA that summoned her.

KAZZARA: Fortunately, as one of your science fiction authors is quoted as saying, "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."

KAZZARA: And while being a slave is no longer acceptable, being an assistant is OK.

Panel 3: Kazzara is handing the PA back to Keith.

KAZZARA: So, what can I do for you?

VOICE: (off-panel) What you can do, bitch --

Panel 4: A gang of tough street punks has shown up behind Kazzara.

GANG MEMBER #1: -- is hand over the PDA. They're good for a couple hundred on the black market.

GANG MEMBER #2: So fork it over, if you know what's good for ya.

KEITH: Oh, crap...

PAGE 8

Panel 1: Kazzara stands before Keith as if guarding him. She's got her arm raised, preparing to use her magic.

KAZZARA: Quick! Make a wish!

KEITH: I...I wish those guys were in jail, or something!

Panel 2: A cage has surrounded the whole gang.

GANG MEMBER #3: What the -- ?

Panel 3: Keith and Kazzara are now walking down the street as if nothing had happened. The caged gang is still in-panel behind them.

GANG: !@#$%^&*!

KEITH: Wow, that was pretty neat!

KAZZARA: Yeah...too bad you're already down to one last wish. I'd sure like to stay and get used to this place, see how the Personal Djinni Assistant program works out.

Panel 4: Keith is struck with an inspiration. Kazzara's looking at Keith with an intrigued look.

KEITH: And I'd sure like to have a friend like you.

KEITH: That's it! I wish you could stay with me as my friend!

KAZZARA: Well...*that* sounds like a nice wish. I could *try* to grant it, master.

Panel 5: Kazzara's radiating magical energy as a ray of light shines on her.

KAZZARA: Well, Big Guy...how about it?

GODLIKE VOICE: (off-panel, tastefully disembodied) A WISH TO HAVE YOU AS A FRIEND, AND NOT A SLAVE? GRANTED!

PAGE 9: One big panel of Keith and Kazzara walking down the street.

KEITH: Was that...God?

KAZZARA: Let's just call him the Big Guy so as not to offend.

KEITH: So, can you still use your magic?

KAZZARA: Sure...but I can only use it three times a day. But I don't need you to wish for it anymore, which I guess kinda balances it out.

KAZZARA: By the way, what's your name, since you're now my friend and not my master?

KEITH: Keith, Keith Mulligan.

KAZZARA: Keith, as they say in the movies, "this looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

CAPTION: THE END

[Fuzzy Modem]

Any doodles or story boards or sketches?

[Radical]

If I could, I would.

[Illinest]

i like this. is it in the public domain?

[Radical]

i like this. is it in the public domain?

How would I know? It's not even a comic yet. :o

[Radical]

PDA: Personal Djinni Assistant

"Feeling Alien-ated"

PAGE 1

Panel 1: Establishing interior shot of Keith's house, more specifically Keith's room. Keith is in bed with the top of his head sticking out, when the clock radio on the bureau next to it goes off.

CLOCK RADIO: ...but so far, there has been no concrete explanation for the flying saucers appearing over the city. Repeat, there is no explanation for the flying saucers.

KEITH: Flying saucers?

Panel 2: Close-up of Keith's hand opening a window.

Panel 3: Keith looking out the window.

KEITH: Yep, they said it...

PAGE 2

Panel 1: Shot of circular spaceships hovering over the city.

CAPTION: "...flying saucers, all right."

Panel 2: Keith's hand reaches for his PDA on a writing desk. The desk has a personal computer on it, with an internet modem. (Keith's family aren't millionaires, but they make a reasonable amount to afford this stuff.)

KEITH: (off-panel) Looks like a job for me...

PAGE 3

Panel 1: The "splash" page. Keith is hitting the "ON" button on his PDA, and Kazzara's flying out of it.

KEITH: ...and Kazzara, my...

LOGO: PDA: Personal Djinni Assistant

TITLE: "Feeling Alien-ated"

KAZZARA: Hey, Keith! How's it going?

CREDITS: Timothy Shanahan-writer Illinest-artist/letterer

Panel 2: Keith is pointing at something, looking serious.

KEITH: First, I want you to look outside that window and tell me something...

PAGE 4

Panel 1: Keith is pointing out the window at a sky full of flying saucers. Kazzara is looking at the saucers and has an embarrassed expression.

KEITH: ...are you responsible for that?!

KAZZARA: Uh...well...maybe not directly, and maybe not on purpose...

KEITH: What does that mean?

Panel 2: Now we're outside the window looking in at Keith and Kazzara. Kazzara looks thoughtful, while Keith looks nervous.

KAZZARA: Whoever they are, they must have detected my energy signature or something, and come around to investigate.

KEITH: Investigate? It looks more like an invasion or something!

PAGE 5

Panel 1: Worm's-eye view of policemen looking up at the flying saucers. One of them is MARCUSON, a hard-boiled police detective. He'd be one of those "seen-it-all" types, but he's never seen anything like this.

Panel 2: Detective Marcuson is sneering at the saucers.

MARCUSON: First those punks in a cage in the middle of a sidewalk*, and now this...

MARCUSON: What the hell's happening to this town?

CAPTION: *Last issue.

PAGE 6

Panel 1: Cut back to Keith and Kazzara in Keith's room.

KEITH: Any idea how to stop those things?

KAZZARA: I was about to ask you for one.

Panel 2: Kazzara in foreground, looking thoughtful. Keith in background, looking decisive.

KAZZARA: The least we can do is find out if they mean any harm.

KEITH: Good idea.

Panel 3: Keith and Kazzara hold hands together, surrounded by a magical effect.

KAZZARA: One blink and...

Panel 4: Keith and Kazzara are aboard a spaceship. Keith is looking around his alien, super-high-tech surroundings.

KAZZARA: ...we're here!

KEITH: Whoa...

Panel 5: Kazzara and Keith are still holding hands. Kazzara looks amused; Keith embarrassed.

KAZZARA: You can let go of my hand now, Keith.

KEITH: Oh! Uhhh...

PAGE 7

Panel 1: An ugly, but harmless-looking alien, possibly the equivalent of a janitor, working at a control panel. Keith's hand enters the panel.

KEITH: Excuse me...

Panel 2: Keith and Kazzara are confronting the confused alien.

KEITH: But if you'll pardon the cliche, take us to your leader.

ALIEN: (alien language, indecipherable symbols)

Panel 3: Keith looks embarrassed again. Kazzara's got a take-charge expression.

KEITH: Hmmm...obviously, they don't speak English.

KAZZARA: If you don't mind, boss-man...

KAZZARA: (indecipherable symbols similar to the alien's)

Panel 4: The alien points in another direction. Keith and Kazzara are surrounded by a teleportation effect.

KAZZARA: (more symbols)

KEITH: What'd you say?

KAZZARA: I told him we wanted to speak to whoever was in charge. And then I said "Thank you."

Panel 5: They rematerialize in the command center of the alien ship. One of the aliens, obviously the leader, has turned around in his command chair, alarmed.

KAZZARA: Now, let me do the talking...

ALIEN LEADER: (speaking now in English, but in a font similar to the alien language) Who dares -- ?

PAGE 8

Panel 1: Keith and Kazzara are confronting the alien leader.

KAZZARA: (also speaking in the alien font) We are Keith Mulligan, of the planet Earth which you are invading, and Kazzara of the Djinni.

ALIEN LEADER: Well met, Kazzara of the Djinni. Your race's existence is documented in our legends. I am Phraxos, of the D'zari.

ALIEN LEADER: But what is this I hear of "invading the planet"? We're not invading!

Panel 2: Kazzara has an accusatory look on her face while Keith waits patiently for the conversation to end.

KAZZARA: Then what are you doing here?

PHRAXOS (off-panel): (sigh) To admit this is to be a dishonor to the D'zari military, Kazzara...

Panel 3: Phraxos hangs his head in embarrassment.

PHRAXOS: ...but the simple fact of the matter is, we're lost. A malfunction in our hyperdrive, apparently...

KAZZARA: If there is anything we can do, would you accept our aid?

Panel 4: Phraxos is looking thoughtful while Kazzara's smiling.

PHRAXOS: Well, if you know anything about hyperdrive repair...

KAZZARA: Oh, that's easy! Just give me five minutes.

PAGE 9

Panel 1: Flying saucers teleport away, in a series of lights like a fireworks display.

CAPTION: Five minutes later...

Panel 2: Marcuson and the other cops blink in disbelief.

MARCUSON: They're gone. Just like that, they're gone...

RANDOM POLICEMAN: Sir? What do we report?

Panel 3: Marcuson's looking annoyed, rubbing the back of his head in confusion.

MARCUSON: Ah, I don't know...call it a terrorist attack, or a sci-fi movie being made, or swamp gas. I don't care.

Panel 4: Marcuson is getting into his car.

MARCUSON: ...though being a detective, I really hate it when a mystery goes unsolved.

[Ed. note: Looks like Marcuson is becoming the "Dr. Bellows" of this series: not exactly a villain or anything, but someone the main characters may have to hide their secrets from.]

Panel 5: Kazzara and Keith are kicking back at Keith's house.

KAZZARA: So, Keith, wanna catch a TV movie?

KEITH: What's on?

Panel 6: Same as panel 5, but with Keith turning away.

KAZZARA: Earth vs. the Flying Saucers...Alien....E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial...Invasion of the Moon Men...

KEITH: Ugh, think I'll pass.

CAPTION: And on that note, we reach...

CAPTION: THE END

[Radical]

PERSONAL DJINNI ASSISTANT

"Halloween Hijinks"

PAGE ONE

Panel 1: Keith's summoning up Kazzara as usual, in his room.

KAZZARA: Hi, Keith! What's up?

KEITH: Hey, Kaz. Have you ever been to a Halloween party?

Panel 2: Kazarra and Keith are smiling.

KAZZARA: I've heard of those, but the last time I was at one, the Celts were calling it Samhain.

KEITH: (heh!) Yeah, I read about something like that somewhere.

KEITH: I think you'll find a few things have changed though...

Panel 3: Kazzara is sitting on Keith's bed, face to face with Keith.

CAPTION: One short explanation of Halloween later...

KEITH: ...and that's it. I was invited by some friends at school. Wanna come?

KAZZARA: I got a choice? Where you go, the PDA goes, and I go with it.

KAZZARA: Besides, it sounds kind of fun.

PAGE 2

Panel 1: Kazzara is dressed as a witch (black gown, pointy hat) while Keith is getting into his Frankenstein costume. They're in the hallway of the house.

KAZZARA: How do I look?

KEITH: You look great!

KAZZARA: Thanks! I realize my Djinni uniform was exotic enough by human standards to count as a costume, but technically it's my normal clothing. I would've felt like I was attending a fancy dress ball in my underwear.

Panel 2: Keith is leaning against a wall while Kazzara searches a closet.

KEITH: I know. I sometimes have those dreams where I forget to put my pants on, myself.

KAZZARA: Now, where's a broom I can borrow?...

Panel 3: CU of a jack-o-lantern lying on a porch somewhere.

VOICE (o.s.): OK, people...

PAGE 3

Panel 1: Wide shot of a New England-style house, all decorated for Halloween. People in costumes are standing in line outside, including Keith (Frankenstein) and Kazzara (witch). The host, a teen/college kid named Dan, is raising his arms enthusiastically.

DAN: ...let's start this PAR-TAYYYYYYYYY!!

Panel 2: Keith and Kazzara are standing before Dan. Keith's holding up his invite like an FBI agent's badge and gesturing to Kazzara. Dan's smiling appreciatively.

KEITH: Hey, Dan, it's me, Keith. This is my friend, Kaz.

DAN: Man, Keith, you're one lucky dude.

Panel 3: Dan's gesturing to the door.

DAN: Well, yo' invite checks out. C'mon in.

Panel 4: Kazzara and Keith enter the kitchen of the house. It's set up with decorations, and several people (a ghost, a vampire, a slasher etc.) are in line to bob for apples. The apples are in a big green bowl.

PAGE 4

Panel 1: Keith and Kazzara have gotten into the bobbing-for-apples line, Keith before Kazzara.

KEITH: So, Kaz, you know how to do this?

KAZZARA: I think so. Pick the apples up with my teeth, right?

KEITH: Yep.

Panel 2: Time has passed, long enough for Keith to have his turn. He's eating his apple while Kazzara is taking her turn. She's removing her hat so it doesn't fall in, and moving her hair so it won't get wet. A comedian in a werewolf costume is visible behind her.

KEITH: Now you try it.

WEREWOLF: Try not to melt when you touch the water!

KAZZARA: Ha, ha.

Panel 3: CU of Kazzara lifting her head from the bowl. Not only does she have an apple in her mouth, but two other apples are balanced on it, in a column. Keith, the werewolf, and any others you can fit, are staring at her in the background.

KEITH: Whoa! Three apples? Is that legal?

WEREWOLF: I dunno, man -- but I'm impressed!

Panel 4: Dan has met up with a punk-looking buddy, Steve, in a bedroom. Medium shot.

DAN: Didja do it?

STEVE: Yep. I put the stuff in the green punchbowl like you said, the one we're using for the big kids' party later.

Panel 5: Dan has this strange look on his face, like he can't tell whether to be terrified or angry. Steve looks apologetic.

DAN: Steve, you idiot! I said to spike the blue punchbowl! The green one's being used to bob for apples!

STEVE: Oh, maaan...

PAGE 5

Panel 1: Wide shot of a hallway. Green specks are starting to appear over everyone's heads, as the effects of the "spike" make themselves known. An African-American teenager dressed like William Marshall as Blacula is staggering through the hall.

Panel 2: He stumbles and collides with an equally wasted kid in a ghost costume.

Panel 3: "Blacula" is staring daggers at the other kid, whose costume has an unfortunate resemblance to a Ku Klux Klan outfit.

Page 4: "Blacula" starts kicking the other kid's ass.

GHOST KID: Hey, cool it! This is a ghost costume!

PAGE 6

Panel 1: Wide shot. In a room adjacent to the hallway (so we can see the fight in the background), Kazzara is drunkenly taking part of a karaoke contest, her witch hat still off. Keith is the only person who finds the effects of the "spike" unpleasant.

KAZZARA: (singing) I' wuz(hic)wuzza Maaasshhh, i' wuzza Mon(hic)Monssa Mash...

KEITH: I feel funny. I think one of the big kids spiked the water in the bob-for-apples, thinking it was punch...

Panel 2: CU of Kazzara looking around, smiling goofily.; Keith looks nervous.

KAZZARA: Y' know...thiss party would be ssooo mush better if...

KEITH: Uh, Kaz, even drunk I don't think...

Panel 3: Kazzara conjuring up Predator, Leatherface and Jason.

KAZZARA: ...if the monssahs were real!

KAZZARA: Have fun, guyss!

Panel 4: Various SFX on a blood-red background.

SFX: RARGH! VRRRM! AIIEEE!! SWASH!! RRRIIP!!! AAARGH!!

PAGE 7

Panel 1: Kazzara and Keith stand, shocked out of their inebriation. Teenagers are fleeing, screaming in panic. The bloodshed is mercifully kept "off-stage".

KAZZARA: Wow...that was a bad idea.

KEITH: Yeah. Good thing they only killed each other.

Panel 2: Keith and Kazzara look at each other.

KEITH/KAZZARA: (simultaneously) Let's book.

Panel 3: Keith and Kazzara have left the house unnoticed. She's smiling, he's looking green (and it's not just the makeup). The other kids are still fleeing, and Dan is throttling Steve while policemen are trying to separate them.

DAN: What'd I tell ya? What'd I tell ya?

KAZZARA: You know, Keith, up until that point I was having a pretty good time, even before I got drunk.

KEITH: I was having a good time before I got drunk, too. I think I'm gonna hurl...

KAZZARA: Look at it this way: your chances of becoming an alcoholic are low.

KEITH: Man, Kaz, I hope so. I never wanna feel like this again.

CAPTION: THE END

[Radical]

PERSONAL DJINNI ASSISTANT

"Un-Convention-al"

PAGE 1

Panel 1: CU of Keith dressed in fall/winter clothing, on the porch of his house, looking at an ad in the paper.

KEITH: Hey, what's this? "FANTA-CON, The World's Greatest Sci-Fi/Fantasy Convention!"

KEITH: "Coming Nov. 16-18 to the Merrimac Hotel!" That's this weekend, and the hotel's not far!

Panel 2: Wide shot of Keith is summoning Kazzara, but she's shivering uncomfortably in the cold weather.

KEITH: Time to summon Kazzara, my...

LOGO: PDA: Personal Djinni Assistant

TITLE: "Un-Convention-al"

CREDITS: Timothy Shanahan-writer (artist's name here)-artist

KEITH: ...and invite her along!

KAZZARA: J-J-Jeez, b-boss-man, it's freaking c-c-cold out here!

PAGE 2

Panel 1: Keith embarrassedly leads Kazzara into the house.

KEITH: Whoops! My bad! That outfit of yours is way too skimpy for this kind of weather!

KEITH: C'mon in, where it's warmer.

Panel 2: Keith and Kazzara are in the house, in the hallway. Kazzara looks confused, but interested.

KEITH: Have you ever been to a sci-fi convention?

KAZZARA: Can't say I have.

Panel 3: Keith's trying to explain, but Kazzara looks annoyed.

KEITH: It's when people throw this big party celebrating their favorite science-fiction movies, comics, books, and so on! You can see movies, buy all sorts of cool toys, wear costumes...

KAZZARA: Ugh, not another costume party, boss-man...

Panel 4: Kazzara and Keith are still in the hall. Kazzara looks relieved.

KEITH: Oh, no, it's cool! Nobody's gonna be spiking the punch or anything.*

CAPTION: *Unlike last issue.-Teetotaler Tim

KEITH: So, you wanna check it out?

KAZZARA: Sure, I guess. Can't be a social wallflower just because of one bad time, I guess.

PAGE 3

Panel 1: Keith and Kazzara are in line at the convention. They're wearing Star Trek uniforms. Some people are wearing costumes, others are in casual clothes.

KEITH: (thought balloon) Kaz's Djinni outfit is technically exotic enough to let her in, but to her they're real clothes.

Panel 2: A frowning bouncer/ticket seller holds a shiny golden coin. Kazzara is smiling helpfully.

BOUNCER: Hey! What're you trying to pull with a prop from Lord of the Rings?

KAZZARA: That? That's a Persian dinar.

Panel 3: CU on the coin. We see a regal-looking head on the side.

KAZZARA: (o.s.) I checked a coin collector's guide. Historical value alone is worth ten thousand dollars.

KAZZARA: (o.s.) Keep the change.

Panel 4: The bouncer looks impressed, as Kazzara and Keith enter. Keith has a goofy grin on his face; he can't tell whether to be amused or embarrassed.

BOUNCER: Okay, you two can go in...but next time, use American money, OK?

KAZZARA: We will. Thank you.

KEITH: (snicker)

BOUNCER: (thought balloon) Ten thousand bucks, huh? No million, but it's a start.

PAGE 4

Panel 1: Long shot. Keith and Kazzara are wandering around the convention hall. There's comic bins, people in costume, etc. Nearby is a guy hawking Star Trek merchandise.

HAWKER: Star Trek merchandise! Action figures, T-shirts, lunchboxes!

HAWKER: Hey, you! You look like you're in the market for Trek!

KAZZARA: Maybe later, thank you. We're just looking around right now.

KEITH: Yeah! Think of us as an "away team beaming down for observation"!

Panel 2: Long shot. Kazzara stops to meet Larissa, a woman in a Slave Leia bikini, including the chain, one end of which is wrapped around her arm. Larissa is leaning against a wall.

KAZZARA: Hi, there!

LARISSA: Hey.

KAZZARA: I have a cousin with an outfit like that.

LARISSA: Really? That's cool. I decided to wear this as kind of a feminist statement.

Panel 3: Larissa's unwrapped the chain and is holding it in the "strangling" position.

LARISSA: A lot of so-called "feminists" have given the Slave Leia bikini a bad rap, since it supposedly objectifies women. But Leia wore it when she slew Jabba the Hutt.

LARISSA: She even used this -- the very chain meant to restrain her -- to strangle him.

PAGE 5

Panel 1: Medium shot of Kazzara and Larissa talking. Kazzara isn't familiar with all the details, like who Jabba the Hutt is, but she gets the general idea. Larissa's rewrapping the chain.

KAZZARA: That's very interesting.

LARISSA: Sure is. I'm thinking of making that part of my Feminist Studies term paper.

Panel 2: Another medium shot of the duo, only with Larissa slightly in the background.

KAZZARA: Your "so-called feminists" would probably blast what I do for a living, too.

LARISSA: Why? You a stripper or anything like that?

Panel 3: Long shot. Keith's looking nervous; Kazzara's nonchalant.

KEITH: (thought balloon) Don'tsayyou'reaDjinnidon'tsayyou'reaDjinnidon'tsay ...

KAZZARA: I kind of have this job that panders to genie fantasies.

KAZZARA: I always considered Barbara Eden a sort of proto-feminist. Jeannie wasn't all that submissive to Tony, as I recall.

Panel 4: Long shot of Keith and Kazzara leaving Larissa. Keith looks relieved that Kazzara didn't tell the whole truth.

LARISSA: You go, girl.

LARISSA: By the way, what's the job? You run a website?

KAZZARA: (thought balloon) Now there's an idea!

KAZZARA: Something like that. See you around.

KEITH: (Whew!)

PAGE 6

Panel 1: Kazzara is talking to a guy dressed like Leonidas from 300, who's at least feigning interest. Keith is suppressing a giggle.

KAZZARA: ...and I don't see what all the fuss was about. I mean, if those were Persians, I'm Michael Jackson.

KAZZARA: Loved the line about the knees, though.

Panel 2: Keith and Kazzara are watching a World of Darkness LARP (live-action role playing) game. A "mage" and a "vampire" are playing rock-paper-scissors, with the mage's "rock" breaking the vampire's "scissors". Keith is leaning over to Kazzara and whispering to her.

VAMPIRE: Aaarrgh!! Blast you, magus!

KEITH: (whispering) The reason why they do the rock-paper-scissors thing is that LARPS don't allow actual physical contact.

Panel 3: Keith and Kazzara are reading a placard.

KEITH: Hey, check this out! "The Fanta-Costume Contest! $1,000 Grand Prize!"

KAZZARA: The fine print says you have to be over 18 to enter, Keith, so that lets you out.

KAZZARA: I'll enter, though. I'm 1,785!

PAGE 7

Panel 1: Kazzara is standing with other costumed entrants, including Larissa from earlier. They're all wearing numbered slips from 1 to 10. Kazzara is 10, and Larissa is 7.

CAPTION: And so...

KAZZARA: You again, huh?

LARISSA: Small world, huh? By the way, my name's Larissa.

KAZZARA: Mine's Kazzara. My friends call me "Kaz" for short.

Panel 2: Behind the entrants now. We can see the contest judges in the background. Larissa has her head turned to speak to Kazzara.

LARISSA: "Kazzara", huh? That's a pretty unusual name...

KAZZARA: I was raised in a Muslim community.

Panel 3: Larissa looks a little confused, but intrigued. Kazzara looks nonchalant.

LARISSA: Muslim? You look white. Were you adopted?

KAZZARA: Let's just say my parents were from out of town. The neighbors were tolerant, though...not like the kind of people you hear about nowadays.

PAGE 8

Panel 1: Larissa is jumping for joy. Kazzara looks on gladly; the other's reactions range from tolerant to annoyed.

CAPTION: Some time later:

JUDGE (off-panel): And the Grand Prize Winner is...No. 7, LARISSA COULTER OF PASADENA!

LARISSA: I won? OMIGODOMIGODIDON'TBELIEVEITIWON! YAHOO!!

Panel 2: Kazzara is hugging the jubilant Larissa while the jealous contestants look on.

KAZZARA: I'm so proud of you!

"JASON VOORHEES" CONTESTANT: I'm not.

"GHOSTBUSTER" CONTESTANT: Neither am I.

PAGE 9

Panel 1: Keith and Kazzara are walking away from the hotel. Keith is holding a plastic bag full of swag. He's looking curious, while Kazzara's smiling.

CAPTION: At the end of the day...

KEITH: So it doesn't bother you that you didn't win the money?

KAZZARA: The neat thing about being a Djinni is the ability to conjure up anything you want. So you can do things for fun instead of material gain.

Panel 2: Keith's shooting a doubtful glance at Kazzara, but she's still nonchalant.

KEITH: Did she win because of your magic?

KAZZARA: They didn't draw the number out of a hat or anything, they just judged it based on joint opinion. And I can't influence free will.

KEITH: I know...

KAZZARA: Besides, I figured she deserved to win fair and square.

Panel 3: CU of Keith's hand. He's holding the package of a Princess Leia in Slave Outfit doll...uh, action figure. :o

KEITH: By the way, speaking of material gains, I got some comic books, some Dungeons and Dragons stuff...

KEITH: ...and for you I got a Slave Leia figure, to remind you of Larissa.

Panel 4: Kazzara's passionately hugging a rather panicked-looking Keith.

KAZZARA: (heart-shaped balloon) Ohhh! Keith, how sweet of you!

KEITH: Hey, easy! I'm too young for the affections of older women!

CAPTION: The End