Worst (fill in the blank) ever!

[Paul McEnery]

Enough of this considered and optimistic appreciation. Top 25 graphic novels? Feh!

This is the thread for bagging on the worst of everything. But there's no point in nailing a student movie, some five year old's mini-comic, or Carrottop. Nobody in their right mind expects them to be any good.

Oh no, it's the things you didn't expect to suck that really grieve you. The top 20 stinker that you can't stop humming until you want to rip your own vocal cords out. The 90 minutes of your life you'll never get back that goes on to poison even the experience of going to the movies. Every very special episode ever made. That danish you dropped your last three dollars on, then found out it had the mould.

What's your worst (fill in the blank) ever?

[Jared H.]

Chris Kattan is the worst actor/comedian of all time. He makes me think violent thoughts whenever he is on the screen.

And I fully believe that 50 Cent is the worst performance/singer/songwriter artist of all time.

[Dreadstar]

Worst Clown Ever:

http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g220/julielogan/gacy_clown.jpg

[Dreadstar]

Worst Monkees Candidate Ever:

http://z.about.com/d/crime/1/0/h/D/manson1a.jpg

[Dreadstar]

Worst Hamburgers Ever:

http://www.onedigitallife.com/images/white_castle.jpg

[Black Atom]

Worst Hamburgers Ever:

http://www.onedigitallife.com/images/white_castle.jpg

How dare you, sir?!

[Dreadstar]

How dare you, sir?!

I dare with 40 years of experience.

[Dreadstar]

Worst Marketing Idea Ever:

http://www.digitaldeliftp.com/Images/pings/cokelore_left_newcoke.png

[jessecuster3]

Worst Fast Food ever!

http://www.wenakron.com/wendys_welcome.jpg




And their fries smell like fish too!

[Paul McEnery]

Worst Monkees Candidate Ever:

http://z.about.com/d/crime/1/0/h/D/manson1a.jpg

Come now, sir. Wouldn't you rather have him than Peter Tork? Imagine the crazy shenanigans!

[Dreadstar]

...And their fries smell like fish too!

Stop going to that Wendy's and complain.

The french fries aren't supposed to be cooked in the fish fryer. French fries always get the clean oil.

[Jared H.]

Worst Fast Food ever!

http://www.wenakron.com/wendys_welcome.jpg




And their fries smell like fish too!

I used to like them, back when they had a new chicken sandwich special every month.

[jessecuster3]

Stop going to that Wendy's and complain.

The french fries aren't supposed to be cooked in the fish fryer. French fries always get the clean oil.

Its not one, and I haven't gone to a Wendy's in 5 years. I would rather eat White Castle!

[Dreadstar]

Its not one, ...

I've never had a fry that tasted like fish from Wendy's.

Oh well....

[Black Atom]

I dare with 40 years of experience.

...okay, they're pretty bad. I guess its the nostalgia I've associated with them that redeems them. If I had one now, I'm sure I'd hate it.

[GremlinClr]

Its not one, and I haven't gone to a Wendy's in 5 years. I would rather eat White Castle!

All right thinking, upstanding citizens would rather eat White Castle, since they have the best burgers in the history of ever! Unfortunately the nearest White Castle is 102 miles away and I only get to eat there once or twice a year. Crave Case FTW!

[Dreadstar]

...okay, they're pretty bad. I guess its the nostalgia I've associated with them that redeems them. If I had one now, I'm sure I'd hate it.

Oh, the whole bit is a poke of fun, ignore it. I had some rat burgers just last month.

[Kevin M.]

Death of Superman: Worst publicity stunt ever

[Paul McEnery]

Cat among the pigeons time:

Worst sitcom vehicle ever. You'd think that Julia Louis Dreyfus abortion -- the one that even got her tits out to make you watch it -- would come absolutely top.

But no.

It's got to be Suddenly Susan. So excruciating one cast member killed himself rather than carry on! Two, count them, two top bill stars! One top rank redheaded comedienne! And yet utterly, screamingly not in the least bit funny at all.

Because the leading lady wasn't, in fact, at all funny. Not even as the straight man. Because they even had the nerve to repeat the Mary Tyler Moore bit in the first episode. Because everybody and his butler had a Mary Tyler Moore knockoff show, including that one with George Segal and David Spade, and of course the fabulous News Radio. And because the LA production company kept swearing blind it was set in San Francisco.

I think I saw every single episode. It made me so very, very happy.

[Gary_B]

Worst fruit ever! I just don't like 'em.

http://www.israelity.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/11/strawberries.jpg

[Black Atom]

Oh, the whole bit is a poke of fun, ignore it. I had some rat burgers just last month.

Hrm. I sorta want one now.

And surely Caroline in the City was worse than Suddenly Susan.

[Dreadstar]

Worst Automobile Ever:

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/7/71/250px-Go_Yugo.jpg

[Paul McEnery]

Worst fruit ever! I just don't like 'em.

http://www.israelity.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/11/strawberries.jpg

I know a worse one:

http://www.rb-p.net/blog/images/fruit/kiwano01.jpg

I'm not even going to try to show decorum.

This fruit is the equivalent of scoring with the hottest chick in the club, then getting her clothes off to find a virulent - and indeed oven ready - yeast infection stinking up the joint.

Looks right purty, though.

[Paul McEnery]

Hrm. I sorta want one now.

And surely Caroline in the City was worse than Suddenly Susan.

Oh no. Nooooo no no. You'll have to do better than that. There were, occasionally, intentional laughs in CitC.















Um, and I kind of fancied her.

[Jared H.]

Um, and I kind of fancied her.

I have a theory that 50% of the ratings of that show came from men with their trousers down.

[Dreadstar]

I have a theory that 50% of the ratings of that show came from men with their trousers down.

I'll have you know that the only time my trousers were around my ankles was when Annie was wearing her Cats make-up.


...


What?

[Paul McEnery]

I have a theory that 50% of the ratings of that show came from men with their trousers down.

Sure.

And her love interests were always so lame, you could fool yourself that "I could do better than that."

And her gal pal was hot, too.

Plus the willtheywontthey guy had a great bitchy wit.

[Jared H.]

I'll have you know that the only time my trousers were around my ankles was when Annie was wearing her Cats make-up.


...


What?



Dreadstar: Closet furry.

[Dreadstar]

Worst One Hit Wonder Ever:

http://www.cdisle.ca/rare/media/jacks_seasons.jpg

[Paul McEnery]

I'll have you know that the only time my trousers were around my ankles was when Annie was wearing her Cats make-up.


...


What?

Christ almighty.

We all watched that show religiously, didn't we.

Tell me it was because it was about comics.

And not because we really wanted her to finally get together with Richard.

[Matt Algren]

Worst Fast Food ever!

http://www.wenakron.com/wendys_welcome.jpg

And their fries smell like fish too!
Them's fightin' words.
I've never had a fry that tasted like fish from Wendy's.

Oh well....You do live in the birthplace of Wendy's. I'd bet they're better there, and in the rest of the state, than elsewhere.

But yeah, I've never had that problem with the fishy fries. I'm actually getting to the point where I like Wendy's fries better than McDonald's.

[Jared H.]

Christ almighty.

We all watched that show religiously, didn't we.

Tell me it was because it was about comics.

And not because we really wanted her to finally get together with Richard.

Richard who?

[Dreadstar]

Worst Aging of a Rock Star Ever:

http://www.apostropher.com/blog/img/scaryeddie.jpg

[Gary_B]

Worst Aging of a Rock Star Ever:

http://www.apostropher.com/blog/img/scaryeddie.jpg

Is that Eddie Van Halen?

[Matt Algren]

What's left of him, yes.

[Winslow]

The worst false advertising:

http://www.adrian.josephlavoie.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/11/titanic-2.jpg

[Naldo]

Worst Aging of a Rock Star Ever:

http://www.apostropher.com/blog/img/scaryeddie.jpg

Jeez! That looks like the love child of Charles Manson and Granny Clampett!

[Matthew E]

Worst One Hit Wonder Ever:

http://www.cdisle.ca/rare/media/jacks_seasons.jpg

He was pretty bad, all right. But he wasn't a one-hit wonder.

[jessecuster3]

Is that Eddie Van Halen?

Jeez! That looks like the love child of Charles Manson and Granny Clampett!

These are clearly people who don't watch the Sopranos.

[Naldo]

He was pretty bad, all right. But he wasn't a one-hit wonder.

How bad can he be? He had joy AND fun!

[Dreadstar]

He was pretty bad, all right. But he wasn't a one-hit wonder.

Terry Jacks had more than one hit?

I must have committed brain damage to forget it.



Nitpicking misses the point anyway.

[Paul McEnery]

Worst One Hit Wonder Ever:

http://www.cdisle.ca/rare/media/jacks_seasons.jpg

I raise you one Agadoo (http://www.now-music.com/blacklace/doagadoo.html).

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/345000/images/_345868_agadoo150.jpg

[Dreadstar]

Never heard of 'em.

[Tages]

The Worst Movie Ever? That's a tough one.

http://www.impawards.com/2002/posters/swimfan.jpg

This one is usually what I'd pick for its sheer incompetence. Why, yes, it's perfectly reasonable that a hospital would let a high school student have access to prescription medication, and without doing a background check! Driving to NYC and back in about twenty minutes? Perfectly fine! It's even more reasonable that police would consider someone a murder suspect even though he has a verifiable alibi. Oh, and the top dog of reasonableness, there is nothing stupid whatsoever about a cop sitting in the back with a murder suspect in handcuffs half-asleep with his weapon holster unbuttoned and that a teenage girl with no known experience with firearms would be able to murder both cops and steal their patrol car, driving it all the way to the town high school for the finale with no one noticing.

But Swimfan is evil only because no one cared while making it, it's lazy and cynical and unfathomably stupid. A friend paid for my ticket because he had a thing for Erika Christensen and I'm still pissed off at him for it, five years later. However, there are other films that simply put have the stench of death wafting about them.

http://www.impawards.com/2000/posters/whipped.jpg

Whipped is the least funny comedy I've ever seen. It's so obvious, loud, cloying, manipulative and cynical, its characters so incredibly shrill and unlikable and its view of women so pre-adolescent I took a shower as soon as I got home. It's the most painful romantic comedy I've ever seen, with the possible exception of this one:

http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/153/862514~Tomcats-Video-Release-Posters.jpg

And the most misogynistic horror movie I've ever seen (Which I've redubbed "Porn For Women-Hating Assholes"):

http://images.killermovies.com/w/wolfcreek/gallery/poster.jpg

[Paul McEnery]

Not to mention:

http://duranduran.no/cms/images/stories/haysi_fantayzee-john_wayne_.jpg

And Sigue Sigue Sputnik:

http://www.automaticjack.tv/graficos/sss-1986.jpg

[Paul McEnery]

The Worst Movie Ever? That's a tough one.

It is easy, because it is Minority Report.

FACT!

[Dreadstar]

Worst Sci-Fi TV Show Ever:

http://myweb.tiscali.co.uk/scifitv/images/Lexx.jpg

[Dreadstar]

OK, I've at least HEARD of Sigue Sigue Sputnik.

The other 2? Not so much.

[Jared H.]

It is easy, because it is Minority Report.

FACT!

I'd say A.I. was worse. For one, Spielburg's style clashed quite badly with the intended-to-be-Kubrickian portions of the film. And secondly, it had even more pointless extra-endings than Minority Report did.

[Tages]

It is easy, because it is Minority Report.

FACT!

What was your reasoning for that again?

[Gary_B]

Worst form of entertainment ever.

http://www.naegelitrialtech.com/content/images/equip/televisions.jpg

[jessecuster3]

The Worst Movie Ever? That's a tough one.



Please!


http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/4/4c/200px-Caddyshack2.png

[Jared H.]

Worst moviegoing experience(not worst movie) ever:

http://www.johnnydeppfan.com/xmovies/gate.jpg

I watched that film and damn near screamed at the non-ending. No payoff whatsoever.

[Matt Algren]

Worst form of entertainment ever.

http://www.naegelitrialtech.com/content/images/equip/televisions.jpgShhhh! TV will hear you!

[Valmore]

Worst Number 2 Draft Pick Ever:

http://www.hoopsvibe.com/IMG/darko_milicic-arton21092-240x240.jpg

[jessecuster3]

Worst moviegoing experience(not worst movie) ever:

I watched that film and damn near screamed at the non-ending. No payoff whatsoever.

hey hey hey, sex with a nude Emmanuelle Seigner

[Paul McEnery]

I'd say A.I. was worse. For one, Spielburg's style clashed quite badly with the intended-to-be-Kubrickian portions of the film. And secondly, it had even more pointless extra-endings than Minority Report did.

Ah, but AI only pissed on Aldiss and Kubrick. (Also, I saw it for nothing.) And it had originality -- even if it was stolen originality.

Minority Report pissed on Brazil, Solaris, Dick, LA Confidential, Tron, and a few other things I can't remember. I mean, really, doing the Alex thing where his eyes are prised open? Tut tut tut.

Not to mention the gratuitous bit where Cruise climbs up a car with a sheer surface clearly holding onto the lumps that have been shopped out.

And the jimmied in kid interest.

And the fact that our hero had alibis for everything! Straight up impermeable alibis!

I've had my intelligence insulted less by Brian De Palma and Oliver Stone.

[Tages]

Now you've got us all curious about what's wrong with DePalma and Stone.

[jessecuster3]

Worst first round draft picks of all time:

http://www.zonersports.com/wp-content/1089/320/ko.jpg

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/2/20/Rashaan_Salaam.jpg/200px-Rashaan_Salaam.jpg

http://i.a.cnn.net/si/images/football/nfl/players/4257.jpg

[Gingold]

Worst sitcom ever!

http://i155.photobucket.com/albums/s303/larktom/smallwonde.jpg

[Jared H.]

Now you've got us all curious about what's wrong with DePalma and Stone.

On Stone:

"Natural Born Killers" springs to mind.

[jessecuster3]

Worst trades ever:

http://www.cbc.ca/gfx/topstory/sports/palmeiro_rafael0511.jpg


http://www.chicagocubsblog.net/images/greg-maddux.jpg

[Tages]

On Stone:

"Natural Born Killers" springs to mind.

Naw, NBK is great. Everything he's done in the last twelve years, though? Not so much.

[jessecuster3]

Now you've got us all curious about what's wrong with DePalma and Stone.

Stone is obviously because of Platoon and JFK and then Nixon.

[Paul McEnery]

OK, I've at least HEARD of Sigue Sigue Sputnik.

The other 2? Not so much.

Haysi Fantaysee? Boy George knockoffs. Fun fact: Jeremy (the male one) signed on at the same dole office as me.

Agadoo? Oh, please, click the link. It was the big summer hit in the UK (from a "group" called Black Lace. The lyrics were dance moves. Dance moves like "push pineapples up a tree" and "push pinapples, grind coffee". With the accent like this: push pineapples, grind coffee".

All summer. Inescapable. Then in every club. With DJs making you do the dance. And everyone giving you the hairy eyeball if you don't join in, you stuck up arsehole.

Next time you swear at your classic rock radio station playing Oh Lord Won't You Buy Me a Mercedes Benz -- or some burnt out Humboldt hippie singing it outside your window because it's the only song he knows, and he gets even those idiotic lyrics wrong -- remember, there are worse things across the pond.

[Winslow]

Worst trades ever:

Red Sox fans would disagree:

http://images.encarta.msn.com/xrefmedia/sharemed/targets/images/pho/t040/T040521A.jpg

[Paul McEnery]

On Stone:

"Natural Born Killers" springs to mind.

And that's the good one.

[jessecuster3]

Red Sox fans would disagree:




I'll give you that for Maddux, but Palmeiro definitely has to be in the same league as far as completely unreasonable.

[Ray R.]

Worst Number 2 Draft Pick Ever:

http://www.hoopsvibe.com/IMG/darko_milicic-arton21092-240x240.jpg

Worse than Ryan Leaf? Really, Val?

[Paul McEnery]

Worst sitcom ever!

http://i155.photobucket.com/albums/s303/larktom/smallwonde.jpg

Tell all. You've got some ways to go to dethrone SS.

[Jared H.]

Naw, NBK is great. Everything he's done in the last twelve years, though? Not so much.

To each his own, I guess. I couldn't sit through it, for some reason.

[Paul McEnery]

Now you've got us all curious about what's wrong with DePalma and Stone.

Stone is just crap.

De Palma, OTOH, is one of the two worst directors of movies ever. The other is Alan Parker.

You've got one bullet. One of them gets to make another film. Take your shot.

[Matt Algren]

Worst sitcom ever!

http://i155.photobucket.com/albums/s303/larktom/smallwonde.jpg
The Small Wonder comments section on jumptheshark.com (http://jumptheshark.com/topic/small-wonder-general-comments/1810&start=45) was the first time I knew I loved the internet. They apparently ported it all to a new format (everything's dated 2/28/07), but it's still there. You have to read it backward, but my first LOL was the poster who said "Wait a minute. The girl was a robot?"

[Tages]

To each his own, I guess. I couldn't sit through it, for some reason.

Well, it's also my dad's most hated movie ever. Whenever anyone mentions it he gets this look on his face like he's just swallowed a rancid plum.

[Jared H.]

Stone is just crap.

De Palma, OTOH, is one of the two worst directors of movies ever. The other is Alan Parker.

You've got one bullet. One of them gets to make another film. Take your shot.

Worse than Uwe Boll? Seriously?

[Jared H.]

Well, it's also my dad's most hated movie ever. Whenever anyone mentions it he gets this look on his face like he's just swallowed a rancid plum.

Perhaps it's just one of those strongly polarizing films.

[Tages]

Stone is just crap.

De Palma, OTOH, is one of the two worst directors of movies ever. The other is Alan Parker.

You've got one bullet. One of them gets to make another film. Take your shot.

DePalma cranks out utter shit all the time (and Mission to Mars is one of the worst sci-fi movies ever), but at one point he had some talent. And occasionally he'll make an entertaining failure like Femme Fatale.

Parker has never done anything I've liked. Mississippi Burning is extraordinarily overrated and The Life of David Gale is irredeemably bad. So shoot him.

[Winslow]

Well, it's also my dad's most hated movie ever. Whenever anyone mentions it he gets this look on his face like he's just swallowed a rancid plum.

I'm not sure it's the worst, but Superman3 is my most hated movie.

For tow reasons:

It was so boring, I fell asleep in the movie theater

We only had one TV available in college, and the my idiot classmates wanted to watch that horrid movie rather then the Georgetown v. Houston NCAA basketball final.

[Ray R.]

Ah, but AI only pissed on Aldiss and Kubrick. (Also, I saw it for nothing.) And it had originality -- even if it was stolen originality.

Minority Report pissed on Brazil, Solaris, Dick, LA Confidential, Tron, and a few other things I can't remember. I mean, really, doing the Alex thing where his eyes are prised open? Tut tut tut.

Not to mention the gratuitous bit where Cruise climbs up a car with a sheer surface clearly holding onto the lumps that have been shopped out.

And the jimmied in kid interest.

And the fact that our hero had alibis for everything! Straight up impermeable alibis!

I've had my intelligence insulted less by Brian De Palma and Oliver Stone.

Eh. You're giving it more depth than it had.

There are execrable films. Absolute wastes of celluloid.

Nothing Stone, De Palma or Stone ever did fits that category. Close, but no.

Worse than "Baby Geniuses and "Baby Geniuses 2: Superbabies"," "Christmas with the Kranks," the films of Uwe Boll, "Master of Disguise", "Son of the Mask" or my personal nominee for worst ever: "Battlefield Earth."

Next to "Battlefield Earth", "A.I." and "Minority Report" look like absolute masterpieces.

Next to "Battlefield Earth," "Showgirls" is an inspired piece of pro-feminist empowerment fantasy.

Need I go on?

[Tages]

Worse than Uwe Boll? Seriously?

Uwe Boll isn't a director. He's a tax cheat.

[Jared H.]

Uwe Boll isn't a director. He's a tax cheat.

I wish I could quit quoting you.

[Paul McEnery]

Worse than Uwe Boll? Seriously?

It takes talent to be that bad.

For me, Parker gets to live, for The Commitments and Bugsy Malone. That stacks up against Carrie, though, so YMMV.

But with both Carrie and The Commitments, it was the book and the cast that saved the show.

And besides, if De Palma makes another movie, there's a strong chance I'll feel compelled to watch it.

[Tages]

Battlefield Earth is at least entertaining as schlock. Whipped is not entertaining on any conceivable level.

[Jared H.]

my personal nominee for worst ever: "Battlefield Earth."

Next to "Battlefield Earth", "A.I." and "Minority Report" look like absolute masterpieces.

Next to "Battlefield Earth," "Showgirls" is an inspired piece of pro-feminist empowerment fantasy.

Need I go on?


I consider "Battlefield Earth" to be a Scientologist propaganda movie and nothing more.

[Pinball]

Tell all. You've got some ways to go to dethrone SS.

"SS"? HUH?!?!?

Paul, this may come as a shock to you, but not everyone lives in England. Give us dumb Yanks a little slack.

And yes, i googled "ss sitcom" and the closest i came was Sigma Six. I don't know what that is, but it isn't even a tv show.

[Ray R.]

It takes talent to be that bad.

For me, Parker gets to live, for The Commitments and Bugsy Malone. That stacks up against Carrie, though, so YMMV.

But with both Carrie and The Commitments, it was the book and the cast that saved the show.

And besides, if De Palma makes another movie, there's a strong chance I'll feel compelled to watch it.

DePalma has "Body Double" and the truly flawed, but truly entertaining "Scarface," as well as "Casualties of War," which I think is a very underrated movie.

Parker has "The Commitments", "Midnight Express," and "Birdy". He also has "Fame", "Evita" and "The Road to Wellville." Mixed bag at best.

[Paul McEnery]

Eh. You're giving it more depth than it had.

There are execrable films. Absolute wastes of celluloid.

Nothing Stone, De Palma or Stone ever did fits that category. Close, but no.

Worse than "Baby Geniuses and "Baby Geniuses 2: Superbabies"," "Christmas with the Kranks," the films of Uwe Boll, "Master of Disguise", "Son of the Mask" or my personal nominee for worst ever: "Battlefield Earth."

Next to "Battlefield Earth", "A.I." and "Minority Report" look like absolute masterpieces.

Next to "Battlefield Earth," "Showgirls" is an inspired piece of pro-feminist empowerment fantasy.

Need I go on?

But, but, "Showgirls" is an inspired piece of pro-feminist empowerment fantasy. And a very funny fuck you to Hollywood. And it has naked Gina Gershon. And Kyle McLachlan with the world's biggest shit eating grin.

Also, you've given away who you really hate the most.

You can't even bring yourself you use Spielberg's name.

[GremlinClr]

And the fact that our hero had alibis for everything! Straight up impermeable alibis!


Maybe I'm just misunderstanding you but how exactly do you have "impermeable alibis" for crimes you haven't commited yet?

[Ray R.]

Battlefield Earth is at least entertaining as schlock. Whipped is not entertaining on any conceivable level.

Our tolerances for schlock must vary.

I'd rather have schlock that consists of straight-to-video, no budget and gratuitous nudity, than John Travolta and Forest Whitaker munching scenery by the square foot in ridiculous and annoying costumes.

Schlock is fun. Excess is not fun.

[Nate C.]

what was so good about NBK?

Did I see a different film?

The one I saw was by a Boomer Conspiricst trying to write/direct an MTV snuff pic.

[Paul McEnery]

"SS"? HUH?!?!?

Paul, this may come as a shock to you, but not everyone lives in England. Give us dumb Yanks a little slack.

And yes, i googled "ss sitcom" and the closest i came was Sigma Six. I don't know what that is, but it isn't even a tv show.

Sorry. Shorthanding. Suddenly Susan. Still to my mind the worst sitcom ever.

But I want to know more about this other thingy.

And I also want to forget that thing that's called Momma's Somethingorother.

[Ray R.]

"SS"? HUH?!?!?

Paul, this may come as a shock to you, but not everyone lives in England. Give us dumb Yanks a little slack.

And yes, i googled "ss sitcom" and the closest i came was Sigma Six. I don't know what that is, but it isn't even a tv show.

Suddenly Susan. It's been moved to acronym status by Paul.

[Gingold]

Tell all. You've got some ways to go to dethrone SS.

Watch at your peril:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMYiGX0gA-g&mode=related&search=

[Nate C.]

"SS"? HUH?!?!?

Paul, this may come as a shock to you, but not everyone lives in England. Give us dumb Yanks a little slack.

And yes, i googled "ss sitcom" and the closest i came was Sigma Six. I don't know what that is, but it isn't even a tv show.

Suddenly Susan. He mentioned it earlier in the thread.

[Paul McEnery]

I'm not sure it's the worst, but Superman3 is my most hated movie.

For tow reasons:

It was so boring, I fell asleep in the movie theater

We only had one TV available in college, and the my idiot classmates wanted to watch that horrid movie rather then the Georgetown v. Houston NCAA basketball final.

What, you still haven't seen Superman Returns yet?

[Paul McEnery]

Suddenly Susan. It's been moved to acronym status by Paul.

An acronym it so richly deserves.

[Ray R.]

But, but, "Showgirls" is an inspired piece of pro-feminist empowerment fantasy. And a very funny fuck you to Hollywood. And it has naked Gina Gershon. And Kyle McLachlan with the world's biggest shit eating grin.

Also, you've given away who you really hate the most.

You can't even bring yourself you use Spielberg's name.

Dammit.

I have a long love/hate relationship with Spielberg. I'm not afraid to admit it.

And I have defended "Showgirls" as exactly what you've described. Everything Verhoeven does gets a pass from me. However, and I cannot emphasize this strongly enough, I have never, ever defended Joe Ezterhas. Never will I do such a thing while I have breath in my lungs.

[darkhanamaru]

really bad british pop:

girls aloud
westlife
spice girls (and the solo projects)
robbie williams
V
McFly

any other WAG that sings

[Paul McEnery]

Our tolerances for schlock must vary.

I'd rather have schlock that consists of straight-to-video, no budget and gratuitous nudity, than John Travolta and Forest Whitaker munching scenery by the square foot in ridiculous and annoying costumes.

Schlock is fun. Excess is not fun.

Hee.

Can I have both, please?

Besides, if there's ever been a book that deserved to be crapped on, it's BE. (All still with me? Gooooood. :D) It makes me happy to see Travolta all Klingon'd up and sucking -- hmm, did donkey dick and big red rocks already -- like a Kirby vacuum cleaner.

But Minority Report made me want to track down the Scientologist responsible and feed him gently to a brace of starving bengal cats.

[Pinball]

Oh. Suddenly Susan.

DOH!

Anyway, this is the thing i was talking about: http://www.isixsigma.com/

[Winslow]

What, you still haven't seen Superman Returns yet?

NO. The nerd reviews on CBR were all thumbs down.

Saved my hard earned cash.

[Paul McEnery]

Dammit.

I have a long love/hate relationship with Spielberg. I'm not afraid to admit it.

And I have defended "Showgirls" as exactly what you've described. Everything Verhoeven does gets a pass from me. However, and I cannot emphasize this strongly enough, I have never, ever defended Joe Ezterhas. Never will I do such a thing while I have breath in my lungs.

Oh, quite right. Verhoeven's a great turd polisher, and Ezterhas gave him just the material he needed to work with. Doubt if Ezterhas ever realized the joke was on him.

And it would be soooooo worthwhile screening Basic Instinct and the Fourth Man against a couple of top Hitchcock's and, oh say, Dressed to Kill and Obsession.

Verhoeven has fun with his movies for a reason. He genuinely loves his characters, and loves life. But De Palma has contempt for his medium, for his audience, and ultimately, I think, for himself.

[Nate C.]

I'm with Ray.

BE is horribly, horribly flawed. I love it when the Sceintologists and Hubbard devotees argue that it would have been good but, "they cut the story off somewhere in the first third of the novel".

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA.

And I think MR is a lot of fun. Full of holes and not perfect, but fun.

[Paul McEnery]

NO. The nerd reviews on CBR were all thumbs down.

Saved my hard earned cash.

Please, please do.

You will love Superman 3. You will even love the one's that followed that nobody saw because they were such crap. You will love the random mugger who smacks you repeatedly in the head with a brick. Yes. Yes you will.

[Sean Walsh]

Worst Fast Food ever!

http://www.wenakron.com/wendys_welcome.jpg

That picture of Burger King products is just TOTALLY wrong, man....

[jessecuster3]

It takes talent to be that bad.

For me, Parker gets to live, for The Commitments and Bugsy Malone. That stacks up against Carrie, though, so YMMV.

But with both Carrie and The Commitments, it was the book and the cast that saved the show.

And besides, if De Palma makes another movie, there's a strong chance I'll feel compelled to watch it.

You forget the twofer that keeps em both alive Midnight Express, Parker directing and Stone screenplay.

However, Parker gets his own place in hell for Angel Heart for shooting Lisa Bonet in the girly parts. I do though still break my hard boiled eggs like deNiro in that movie. However, he stays alive because of The Wall.



DePalma just spent wayyy too much time watching Hitchcock movies.

[Paul McEnery]

Oh God. Angel Heart was like being trapped for two hours at a family function by your Uncle Dudley, who's telling the same story everyone's heard a million times, so you know exactly what's coming but it takes forever for the weakass punchline to arrive.

[Matt Algren]

That reminds me.


WORST COSBY EVER.

http://www.ejumpcut.org/archive/jc46.2003/kemper.staiger/images/Denise_cosby_Lisa_bonet.jpg

[jessecuster3]

That reminds me.


WORST COSBY EVER.



Except that is a shot from A Different World.


She was still plenty hot in Angel Heart.

[Paul McEnery]

That reminds me.


WORST COSBY EVER.

http://www.ejumpcut.org/archive/jc46.2003/kemper.staiger/images/Denise_cosby_Lisa_bonet.jpg

That can't be right.

I have no interest in seeing Bill Cosby's boobies.

[Matt Algren]

Except that is a shot from A Different World.


She was still plenty hot in Angel Heart.
Duh, she was still Denise. I say it counts!

(Plus, most of the other pictures of her I shouldn't post here.

[jessecuster3]

(Plus, most of the other pictures of her I shouldn't post here.

Duhhh Links!

[Matt Algren]

I ain't buying your porn for you, kid.

[DarlingNikki]

Worst Aging of a Rock Star Ever:

http://www.apostropher.com/blog/img/scaryeddie.jpg

my goodness. i'm friggin speechless (except for the words leading up to me being speechless...)

[Paul McEnery]

I ain't buying your porn for you, kid.

Well shit.

Can you at least lift me up so I can reach the top shelf?

[Fenris]

In defense of "Suddenly Susan":

Umm... well...

It did once get referenced in a high-quality MST3K song (http://www.mst3kinfo.com/ward_e/Song807.html). So maybe it gets a bonus point or two to offset the several million negative points it earns on its own merits?

Oh, and worst sequel of all time: Highlander 2.


õ
For just about every possible reason!

[Wesley Dodds]

No. The worst movie of all time is Man of the House (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113755/).

Well, except for maybe Mr. Wrong (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117102/).

[HomerJay]

This is the worst thread ever.

[Spackling Compound]

This is the worst thread ever.

Don't make this a contest. Don't make this a contest. Don't make me go to that little "Search" tab and enter "Gay Marriage".

[HomerJay]

Don't make this a contest. Don't make this a contest. Don't make me go to that little "Search" tab and enter "Gay Marriage".
It was a self-referential joke.
There were other threads that I haven't even opened after reading the titles.

[Spackling Compound]

Worst named product ever

http://jigaloo.com/en/images/pic_can.jpg

[jessecuster3]

Oh, and worst sequel of all time: Highlander 2.


õ
For just about every possible reason!

No sorry, Caddyshack 2 and Grease 2 take this one hands down.

[Dreadstar]

No sorry, Caddyshack 2 and Grease 2 take this one hands down.

Grease 2 had Michelle Pfeiffer. This almost overcomes the penalty imposed by also having Maxwell Caulfield. Almost.

Caddyshack 2? Fire at will.

[Matt Algren]

Worst named product ever

http://jigaloo.com/en/images/pic_can.jpg
You couldn't be more wrong. There's this:

http://www.metrocandy.com/images/products/2427.jpg

...which doesn't look so bad until you realize that "GoLYTELY" is the name of a colon cleanser (http://www.nulytely.com/golytely/index.htm) used in preparation for colonoscopies. Following is what people who have used GoLYTELY think of when they hear the name.

http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/109513/2/istockphoto_109513_empty_roll.jpg

[jessecuster3]

Caddyshack 2? Fire at will.

So bad, I fell asleep in the theater, and missed nothing.

[Spackling Compound]

No sorry, Caddyshack 2 and Grease 2 take this one hands down.

Got those beat:
FLETCH LIVES.

[jessecuster3]

Got those beat:
FLETCH LIVES.

I think you have revealed the third in the holy trinity of bad sequels.

[Paul McEnery]

This is the worst thread ever.

It took a whole day?

You're slipping.

You're all slipping