G. Wayne
05-15-2007, 04:38 PM
Okay, I’ve run into a bit of a dilemma and could use some advice.
A few weeks ago a friend of mine, who we’ll call Red, re-appeared after dropping off the face of the earth for a few years. (She was married with a kid at the time of her disappearance. I must stress she was just a friend. Well, as far as I’m concerned that's all she was though she may have been planning otherwise. My, uh, longstanding personal rule is that I have no desire to have children under my care.) So after Red shows up again, turns out she had another kid during her time in limbo, and she got a divorce.
Shortly after Red re-appeared, I was contacted by a girl we’ll call Black. Turns out Black is just about everything I’m looking for in a significant other, and vice versa far as I can tell. But while Red lives like 5 minutes away from me, Black is approximately 5 and a half hours.
Now I’ve been hanging out with Red periodically for the last few weeks. We get along well, though I still don’t know what she sees in me. (We have that whole different as night and day thing going on.) She’s brought up going into a long term relationship with me. I turned that down, though I’m not sure if she believes me as to why. (She is a little big.) She does know I’m apprehensive about her having 2 kids. I’m also fairly certain that if I showed up the next time I see her ready to proceed to the next level, it wouldn’t take too long at all and she wouldn’t argue.
But the thing is that I really don’t want to do that. I’ve slowly gotten sorta closer with Red, though I'd still say I’m taking pitches, so to speak, and haven’t even started to first base yet or anything. We’ve both agreed that we don’t want to be “friends with benefits.” But it’s getting increasingly awkward hanging out with her as is without proceeding any farther, and getting closer, even to the minimal extent we have, hasn’t helped, either.
In a nutshell, I want to keep Red as a friend, and stop our gradually getting closer. Red also doesn’t know about Black, who’s out of state anyway. I just have next to no idea how to go about this. (IF Black was out of the picture, I probably would proceed with Red, but… yeah… Things are going quite well with Black too. Black also doesn’t know about Red.) So, um, any help, witty commentary, guidance, and/or advice would be greatly appreciated.
A few weeks ago a friend of mine, who we’ll call Red, re-appeared after dropping off the face of the earth for a few years. (She was married with a kid at the time of her disappearance. I must stress she was just a friend. Well, as far as I’m concerned that's all she was though she may have been planning otherwise. My, uh, longstanding personal rule is that I have no desire to have children under my care.) So after Red shows up again, turns out she had another kid during her time in limbo, and she got a divorce.
Shortly after Red re-appeared, I was contacted by a girl we’ll call Black. Turns out Black is just about everything I’m looking for in a significant other, and vice versa far as I can tell. But while Red lives like 5 minutes away from me, Black is approximately 5 and a half hours.
Now I’ve been hanging out with Red periodically for the last few weeks. We get along well, though I still don’t know what she sees in me. (We have that whole different as night and day thing going on.) She’s brought up going into a long term relationship with me. I turned that down, though I’m not sure if she believes me as to why. (She is a little big.) She does know I’m apprehensive about her having 2 kids. I’m also fairly certain that if I showed up the next time I see her ready to proceed to the next level, it wouldn’t take too long at all and she wouldn’t argue.
But the thing is that I really don’t want to do that. I’ve slowly gotten sorta closer with Red, though I'd still say I’m taking pitches, so to speak, and haven’t even started to first base yet or anything. We’ve both agreed that we don’t want to be “friends with benefits.” But it’s getting increasingly awkward hanging out with her as is without proceeding any farther, and getting closer, even to the minimal extent we have, hasn’t helped, either.
In a nutshell, I want to keep Red as a friend, and stop our gradually getting closer. Red also doesn’t know about Black, who’s out of state anyway. I just have next to no idea how to go about this. (IF Black was out of the picture, I probably would proceed with Red, but… yeah… Things are going quite well with Black too. Black also doesn’t know about Red.) So, um, any help, witty commentary, guidance, and/or advice would be greatly appreciated.