The Rogue/Blob Chronicles

[Flight]

<BRING BRING!!>
<BRING BRING!!>
Cyclops: X-Mansion, Cyclops speaking?
Voice: May I speak to Rogue please?
Cyclops: Yes, wait one moment. ROOGUE!! ROOOOGUE!!!!!!!
Rogue: Why, yes sugah?
Cyclops: Its for you.
Rogue: Who is it?
Cyclops: I don't know!!! Probably that weightloss thing you subscribe to and don't pay for.
Rogue: Oh, why you cheeky little scrotu... hello?
Voice: Hello, is this Rogue?
Rogue: Why yes sugah, it most certainly, why what can ah do ya for?
Voice: Rogue, its Blob.
Rogue: Why, howdy Blob! How ya been?
Blob: I've been good thanks. Rogue, I have some gossip for you.
Rogue: Why, whatever could it be sugah?
Blob: Avalanche has a crush on Gambit *giggles*
Rogue: Wha...?
Blob: (giggling) He wants to stick aahhHAhhHH
<CLICK!!>
Rogue: Well, whatever was that about?

[Hi-Fi]

LOL.

I wonder...

[caney]

Riveting start!!!

I'm a bit surprised Blob was able was able to hold his attention on the conversation after Rogue said "sugah". Maybe that's why he calls her. He probably finds it hot when she says that.

[Hi-Fi]

Riveting start!!!

I'm a bit surprised Blob was able was able to hold his attention on the conversation after Rogue said "sugah". Maybe that's why he calls her. He probably finds it hot when she says that.
Cyclops is such. a. jerk.

I'd find it hot if Rogue was all "hi, sugah" to me. I disliked the mention of Gambit, though.

[Flight]

<BRING BRING!!>
<BRING BRING!!>
Emma: Emma Grace Frost, speak.
Voice: Helloooooooo, my name is Jules! I'm here to try and sell you a--
Emma: Stop right there, we don't want anything.
Jules: But you haven't heard what we're trying to sell you?
Emma: You're trying to sell me a baby Giraffe.
Jules: Ooooohhh, you are looking for one!! We have just the Giraffe! Its a 3 ye--
Emma: I said stop right there, I'm not interested.
Jules: Miss Frost, I'm sure we can bring the--
Emma: How did you know my last name?
Jules: You said it at the start of the call.
Emma: Ah, yes so I did.
Jules: I can't read minds Miss Frost!! I'm not a psychic!! *giggles*
Emma: Hmm yes, indeed. If you could, I doubt you'd be chuckling.
Jules: Excuuuuuuuuuuse me?
Emma: Nevermind. These Giraffes, how much?
Jules: Why, only $499! And you get a free--
Emma: I'll take 'em.
Jules: Them?
Emma: I'll take 4.
Jules: Miss Frost, you can't just--
Emma: Oh sugar, here comes Colossus--
<CLICK>
Jules: Here comes a Colossus??? Wha...?

[Canemacar]

Cyclops: I don't know!!! Probably that weightloss thing you subscribe to and don't pay for.


Trying to get rid of those love handles? :p

Funny stuff.

[Flight]

<BRING BRING!!>
<BRING BRING!!>
Lady Mastermind: Hello??
Voice: Hi! This is Mrs Guthrie, is Sam or Paige there please? Or the winged one?
Lady Mastermind: The winged one? The one that died? Oooh, you mean Archangel! Hold on 2 secs, I'll get him.
Mrs Guthrie: Archangel??? No, I'd like to speak to one of my children please. What do you mean the one that died? Hello? Is anyone there? Hell--
Archangel: Hello?
Mrs Guthrie: Hello, is that you Paige?
Archangel: No, this is Warren Worthington III, who is this please?
Mrs Guthrie: Oh, its you. Please pass Paige onto the phone.
Archangel: Page? You want a book? I don't understand.
Mrs Guthrie: Paige!! Where is Samual?
Archangel: You mean Cannonballs? I think he's with Iceman in the hot--
Mrs Guthrie: I mean Sam Guthrie!! Who is Cannonballs?!
Archangel: (away from phone) I don't know who this is? She's looking for a page? A book, I dunno. You speak to her.
Northstar: Salut!
Mrs Guthrie: Sal-- what the?? Who is this now?? Where is Sam?
Northstar: You mean Cannonballz?
<CLICK>

[Mikl C]

ELLE
EM
EF
AY
OH
lol

[caney]

Yes, that one is the winner!!!!!

[Hi-Fi]

Lol Lol Lol!!!

I want more!!

[samil87]

lol that was brillaint, I guess I'm a bit sick but I find it really funny that the X-Men could forget to tell Mrs Guthrie about Jay. atm it wouldn't be out if character anyway ;)

[Omega Alpha]

LOL! Last one specially was brilliant.

[1WEBHEAD]

Bravo Flight! Keep up the good work! :)

[Madrox84]

Fantabulous!

More, more!

[rilokyle]

HOT. Flight, you should be the next writer of X-Men. I like where you're taking this Rogue/Blob relationship. Good things.

[The Sword Is Drawn]

Were the heck did this idea come from Flight? :D Keep up the good work, mind.

[Karl H]

This thread has just been subscribed to.

Excellent re Ma Guthrie...

[Flight]

<BRING BRING!!>
<BRING BRING!!>
Karma: Hello!
Voice: (booming) I am Apocalypse!
Karma: Yes?
Apocalypse: I said, I am Apocalypse!
Karma: We've established that, yes, how can I help?
Apocalypse: Where are the X-Men?
Karma: They're busy, can I take a message?
Apocalypse: Tell them I'm going to enslave the world and have mutantkind fall at my feet.
Karma: Will do. Anything else?
Apocalypse: What do you mean anything else?!
Karma: Any other message or just the world domination one?
Apocalypse: I wish to speak to the X-Man in charge!!
Karma: I'm afriad no-ones around but me.
Apocalypse: So what if I came to your big X-House and tried to destroy it??
Karma: Well, I'd try to stop you.
Apocalypse: All on your own??
Karma: Listen I'm extremely busy! Cyclops team disappeared in a penis shaped spacecraft, Nightcrawler went off with Professor X to hunt down the man that killed Banshee, Storm ran away with the Black Panther. I think she joined the Frightful Four or something, don't know where the kids are but there is a giant hole in the living room floor and I haven't seen Rogue's team since I caught Lady Mastermind & Iceman peeing in the washing that I set down!! Now, if you don't mind, I have food to buy, Shadowcat's dirty underwear to press and I still haven't had a shower!!!!!!
Apocalypse: I'll call back.
<CLICK>

[Hi-Fi]

LOL!!!!

The funny thing is that Karma is probably doing all that these days: answering phones.

[caney]

Poor Karma. She should get a real job.

[The Sentry]

Whatever happened to Fred J Dukes ?

I haven't been in touch with the X-Books except for the recent Carey/Bachalo run.

Oh yeah, loved the Cannonballs thing ! :D
Keep them coming .

[1WEBHEAD]

<BRING BRING!!>
<BRING BRING!!>
Karma: Hello!
Voice: (booming) I am Apocalypse!
Karma: Yes?
Apocalypse: I said, I am Apocalypse!
Karma: We've established that, yes, how can I help?
Apocalypse: Where are the X-Men?
Karma: They're busy, can I take a message?
Apocalypse: Tell them I'm going to enslave the world and have mutantkind fall at my feet.
Karma: Will do. Anything else?
Apocalypse: What do you mean anything else?!
Karma: Any other message or just the world domination one?
Apocalypse: I wish to speak to the X-Man in charge!!
Karma: I'm afriad no-ones around but me.
Apocalypse: So what if I came to your big X-House and tried to destroy it??
Karma: Well, I'd try to stop you.
Apocalypse: All on your own??
Karma: Listen I'm extremely busy! Cyclops team disappeared in a penis shaped spacecraft, Nightcrawler went off with Professor X to hunt down the man that killed Banshee, Storm ran away with the Black Panther. I think she joined the Frightful Four or something, don't know where the kids are but there is a giant hole in the living room floor and I haven't seen Rogue's team since I caught Lady Mastermind & Iceman peeing in the washing that I set down!! Now, if you don't mind, I have food to buy, Shadowcat's dirty underwear to press and I still haven't had a shower!!!!!!
Apocalypse: I'll call back.<CLICK>

Brilliant.:D

[Brett P]

Listen I'm extremely busy! Cyclops team disappeared in a penis shaped spacecraft, Nightcrawler went off with Professor X to hunt down the man that killed Banshee, Storm ran away with the Black Panther. I think she joined the Frightful Four or something, don't know where the kids are but there is a giant hole in the living room floor...

Haha! LOVE that last bit :D

[Dagger]

LOL!!!!

The funny thing is that Karma is probably doing all that these days: answering phones.
lol, well she does have some ace secretarial skills!

[Flight]

<<BRING BRING!!>>
<<BRING BRING!!>>
Emma: Emma Grace Frost, speak.
Voice: Miss Frost, I'm from the Intersteller Laws of Parking & Travel. We'd like to speak to you in regards to an outstanding fine you have currently?
Emma: Excuse me?
Voice: On the 7th May 1993, we believe you and several other Earth residents entered the Gucknik VI nebula and parked an unknown space vehicle, serial number 476109GTT-47FTR, unattended for approximately 4 Earth hours accuring a charge of 900, 000 Earth American dollars. It seems that fine has been accuring interest and is at the total of 3, 574, 960 million Earth American dollars. While we believe you weren't driving the vehicle, the driver - a Mister Manuel de la Rocha - and all other passengers, are believed to be dead as we have been trying to track them for several years. Thus by Gucknik law, the responsibilty falls to you solely, to pay the fine. How would you like to pay? We take American Express.
Emma: ...
Voice: Hello, Miss Frost?
Emma: This fine no longer accurs. You will wipe the debt immediately after you hang up.
Voice: I'm afraid not, Miss Frost.
Emma: You will wipe the debt. I have no fine to pay.
Voice: If you're trying to use your Earth powers on us Miss Frost, they sadly do not work. We have psychic barriers installed inside the Intersteller Laws of Parking & Travel call centre
Emma: (bursts into tears) Those little rascal kids kidnapped me! I was forced to go to that planet against my will!!
Voice: No, you weren't Miss Frost. Gucknik's cameras clearly show you leading the young group of students into mischief.
Emma: Who was in the co-pilot on that adventure? I mean... journey? do you know?
Voice: 1 moment please. ... According to our records, it was a James Proudstar.
Emma: Oh, just as I thought. If I gave you the whereabouts of James Proudstar, will the debt then fall on him?
Voice: If he was alive, according to the Intersteller Laws of Parking & Travel, yes the debt would solely fall on him.
Emma: Oh, how marvellous! Do you know where the Shi'ar reside?

[Hi-Fi]

<<BRING BRING!!>>
<<BRING BRING!!>>
Hepzibah: Hellooooooo?
Cecilia Reyes: Oh my God! Thank you Lord, thank you! X-Men, I need help!! I finally escaped the Weapon X program, but...
Hepzibah: MEOWWW!!!
Cecilia Reyes: Who's this?? That's the Xavier Institute?
Hepzibah: Yes, Mansion Xavier is here.
Cecila Reyes: I don't have much time! They're coming for me. I'm so tired of running and hiding. I miss my loved ones, my life. Please, can I talk to Cyclops or...
Hepzibah: Cyclops is son of Hepzibah's former lover!
Cecilia Reyes: Is he around? Or maybe Wolverine? Jean Grey? Angel?
Hepzibah: Little birds, little birds, I'm gonna eat them all!
Cecilia Reyes: That's... great, but could I please speak to Cyclops or Storm? This is a life and death situation here.
Hepzibah: Are you a bird? A beautiful talking little bird?
Cecilia Reyes:Look, psycho, I'm in danger here! I'll give you my location and...
Hepzibah: Sorry, annoying bird-woman, but I'm gonna sex the Proudstar boy now.
Cecilia Reyes: No! Please, don't hang up, plea--
<CLICK>



:o

[Karl H]

<<BRING BRING!!>>
<<BRING BRING!!>>
Hepzibah: Hellooooooo?
Cecilia Reyes: Oh my God! Thank you Lord, thank you! X-Men, I need help!! I finally escaped the Weapon X program, but...
Hepzibah: MEOWWW!!!
Cecilia Reyes: Who's this?? That's the Xavier Institute?
Hepzibah: Yes, Mansion Xavier is here.
Cecila Reyes: I don't have much time! They're coming for me. I'm so tired of running and hiding. I miss my loved ones, my life. Please, can I talk to Cyclops or...
Hepzibah: Cyclops is son of Hepzibah's former lover!
Cecilia Reyes: Is he around? Or maybe Wolverine? Jean Grey? Angel?
Hepzibah: Little birds, little birds, I'm gonna eat them all!
Cecilia Reyes: That's... great, but could I please speak to Cyclops or Storm? This is a life and death situation here.
Hepzibah: Are you a bird? A beautiful talking little bird?
Cecilia Reyes:Look, psycho, I'm in danger here! I'll give you my location and...
Hepzibah: Sorry, annoying bird-woman, but I'm gonna sex the Proudstar boy now.
Cecilia Reyes: No! Please, don't hang up, plea--
<CLICK>



:o

best one yet - mainly becuase it's probably the only original cece reyes material we're gonna get for a while. is sad.

[Fede]

<<BRING BRING!!>>
<<BRING BRING!!>>
Hepzibah: Hellooooooo?
Cecilia Reyes: Oh my God! Thank you Lord, thank you! X-Men, I need help!! I finally escaped the Weapon X program, but...
Hepzibah: MEOWWW!!!
Cecilia Reyes: Who's this?? That's the Xavier Institute?
Hepzibah: Yes, Mansion Xavier is here.
Cecila Reyes: I don't have much time! They're coming for me. I'm so tired of running and hiding. I miss my loved ones, my life. Please, can I talk to Cyclops or...
Hepzibah: Cyclops is son of Hepzibah's former lover!
Cecilia Reyes: Is he around? Or maybe Wolverine? Jean Grey? Angel?
Hepzibah: Little birds, little birds, I'm gonna eat them all!
Cecilia Reyes: That's... great, but could I please speak to Cyclops or Storm? This is a life and death situation here.
Hepzibah: Are you a bird? A beautiful talking little bird?
Cecilia Reyes:Look, psycho, I'm in danger here! I'll give you my location and...
Hepzibah: Sorry, annoying bird-woman, but I'm gonna sex the Proudstar boy now.
Cecilia Reyes: No! Please, don't hang up, plea--
<CLICK>



:o


Lol Best one so far. Can't help imagining cecilia's facein those moments

[Mr. Jip]

y'all are cray zee.

:rolleyes: :cool: ;) :D

[Flight]

I was going to do that exact same one Hi-Fi...
Its like you GRABBED my thoughts and posted them ASAP!!!

[Jack Flash]

best thread ever.

[Affinity]

<<BRING BRING!!>>
<<BRING BRING!!>>
Hepzibah: Hellooooooo?
Cecilia Reyes: Oh my God! Thank you Lord, thank you! X-Men, I need help!! I finally escaped the Weapon X program, but...
Hepzibah: MEOWWW!!!

<SNIP>

LOLOLOL MEOWWW!!!

I love it!

[Fuji]

This was great, please keep em comin!

[Flight]

This was great, please keep em comin! Ok tootz, just for you. Teehee.

[Arrjay]

These are freakin' salubrious.

[Flight]

<BRING BRING!!>
<BRING BRING!!>
Emma: Emma Grace Frost, speak.
Voice: Hello Miss Frost, may I speak to a Katherine Pryde please?
Emma: Speaking.
Voice: Oh, hello Miss Pryde, this is Jeena's Loopy Launderette.
Emma: How can I be of assistance?
Voice: Well, Miss Pryde, I'm afraid we've had a few complaints from our customers saying they've found dirty skiddy underwear that belongs to you in one or two of our washing machines.
Emma: *giggles* Oh... I am terribly sorry. I have... a... bit of a problem in that department. *smirks*
Voice: In leaving underwear in appropriate places or making underwear extremely skiddy and dirty?
Emma: Well both I suppose, I'm a very very stupid girl.
Voice: I see... would you be able to come and collect your dirty underwear sometime Miss Pryde?
Emma: No, I'm afraid I won't be using your service anymore as you smell and look like a horse.
Voice: What, what, what!!!????
Emma: Yes, you see I'd rather wash my dirty underwear in my own vomit than come back to your launderette you greasy witch.
Voice: Miss Pryde, you are hereby BANNED from this launderette and all launderettes in the area! I'm going to spread the word that are a rude, rude girl!
Emma: Run along then fatty.
<CLICK>
*Emma giggles*

[Mikl C]

LMFAO
*so* emma!
LOLOLOL.

[Flight]

<BRING BRING!!>
<BRING BRING!!>
Xavier: Good afternoon, Charles Xavier speaking.
Rachel: PROFESSOR!!! Its Rachel! We're in BIG trouble here! Raza is DEAD and Havok & Polaris have been captured and are being tortured and the Shi'Ar are DEMANDING we hand you over or they will KILL them!!
Xavier: Oh, thats terrible... Wheres Lilandra?
Rachel: Shes here with me! You want to speak??
Xavier: Just tell her I said hi!
Rachel: Ermmm, whaa????
Xavier: How are you keeping?
Rachel: Professor PLEASE, we don't know what to do! Vulcan is too strong now, I can't take him on! We need the you and the X-Men!!
Xavier: Oh Rachel, we are terribly busy here...
Rachel: Whats happening Professor?? Is everyone ok?!
Xavier: Oh yes, Rogue's a little strange, no-ones seen Psylocke in a few weeks and the kids have gone missing but on the upside Ororo is here and I have my legs and powers back.
Rachel: Professor, we need help IMMEDIATELY!!
Xavier: But Hank and I were gonna have a game of Tennis at 3pm...
Lilandra: Charles Xavier, help us! HELP US!
ZZZZZZZKKTKTKTKTT!!!!!
<Line goes dead>
Xavier: Oh, they hung-up? Rude girl.

[1WEBHEAD]

Hilarious stuff Flight!
:D

[caney]

LOL!!! Xavier should act more like the boss from The Office!

[1WEBHEAD]

LOL!!! Xavier should act more like the boss from The Office!

http://l.yimg.com/img.tv.yahoo.com/tv/us/img/site/75/01/0000007501_20060920143802.jpg

:D

[Flight]

I'm trying to write some more but I keep falling into Emma Frost ones! LOL
She's so easy and fun to write.

[Flight]

<BRING BRING!!>
<BRING BRING!!>
Dazzler: Ere Guv'nor! It's Dazzler! Wotcha?!
Voice: Dazzler! Dahling! So good to hear you! Even if it is in a dodgy cockney accent... It's Jeanie here! Jeanie Panini! Your old agent, dahling!
Dazzler: Cor' blimey! What the devil!! Jeanie Panini! I ain't spoke to you in YEARS me ol' mucka! Wotcha! Wot you phonin' good ol' London, England for?!
Jeanie: Well Dazzler dahling, it turns out there's a fabulous part for you in the new Ben Stiller movie!! You'll be playing his love interest who is also his long lost sister! Oh, it'll be hilarioius dahling! It'll be your Great Comeback!
Dazzler: Worrr??? Naaaah, you don't unnerstand Jeanie! I'm sapphic now INNIT! Don't do that stuff anymore innit?!
Jeanie: I can't make out a word you're saying... What's with the stupid accent?
Dazzler: It's the way I talk guv! I gots pink hair now and my influences are Ashlee Simpson!
Jeanie: Good gosh dahling! Things have gone downhill! Tell you what, dye your hair blonde and come to this audition. It'll put you back on the map!
Dazzler: Ere Jeanie, I gorra go! I'm doin' a duet with that fat bird from The Gossip tonight at G-A-Y! The gays hate me now, but the lesbo's love a birra Dazzler! 'Ave it!
<CLICK>
Jeanie: What the devil!!?

[Novaya Havoc]

<BRING BRING!!>
<BRING BRING!!>
Dazzler: Ere Guv'nor! It's Dazzler! Wotcha?!
Voice: Dazzler! Dahling! So good to hear you! Even if it is in a dodgy cockney accent... It's Jeanie here! Jeanie Panini! Your old agent, dahling!
Dazzler: Cor' blimey! What the devil!! Jeanie Panini! I ain't spoke to you in YEARS me ol' mucka! Wotcha! Wot you phonin' good ol' London, England for?!
Jeanie: Well Dazzler dahling, it turns out there's a fabulous part for you in the new Ben Stiller movie!! You'll be playing his love interest who is also his long lost sister! Oh, it'll be hilarioius dahling! It'll be your Great Comeback!
Dazzler: Worrr??? Naaaah, you don't unnerstand Jeanie! I'm sapphic now INNIT! Don't do that stuff anymore innit?!
Jeanie: I can't make out a word you're saying... What's with the stupid accent?
Dazzler: It's the way I talk guv! I gots pink hair now and my influences are Ashlee Simpson!
Jeanie: Good gosh dahling! Things have gone downhill! Tell you what, dye your hair blonde and come to this audition. It'll put you back on the map!
Dazzler: Ere Jeanie, I gorra go! I'm doin' a duet with that fat bird from The Gossip tonight at G-A-Y! The gays hate me now, but the lesbo's love a birra Dazzler! 'Ave it!
<CLICK>
Jeanie: What the devil!!?

LMFAO!!!!!!! Cockney Al Blaire. F'in love.

[Arilou]

Jeanie: What the devil!!?

SOLID. GOLD.

[Brett P]

<BRING BRING!!>
<BRING BRING!!>
Dazzler: Ere Guv'nor! It's Dazzler! Wotcha?!
Voice: Dazzler! Dahling! So good to hear you! Even if it is in a dodgy cockney accent... It's Jeanie here! Jeanie Panini! Your old agent, dahling!
Dazzler: Cor' blimey! What the devil!! Jeanie Panini! I ain't spoke to you in YEARS me ol' mucka! Wotcha! Wot you phonin' good ol' London, England for?!
Jeanie: Well Dazzler dahling, it turns out there's a fabulous part for you in the new Ben Stiller movie!! You'll be playing his love interest who is also his long lost sister! Oh, it'll be hilarioius dahling! It'll be your Great Comeback!
Dazzler: Worrr??? Naaaah, you don't unnerstand Jeanie! I'm sapphic now INNIT! Don't do that stuff anymore innit?!
Jeanie: I can't make out a word you're saying... What's with the stupid accent?
Dazzler: It's the way I talk guv! I gots pink hair now and my influences are Ashlee Simpson!
Jeanie: Good gosh dahling! Things have gone downhill! Tell you what, dye your hair blonde and come to this audition. It'll put you back on the map!
Dazzler: Ere Jeanie, I gorra go! I'm doin' a duet with that fat bird from The Gossip tonight at G-A-Y! The gays hate me now, but the lesbo's love a birra Dazzler! 'Ave it!
<CLICK>

LMFSAO!!

Jeanie: What the devil!!?

AhahahahaHAHAH!!!

That just about KILLED me! :D

[Flight]

LMFAO!!!!!!! Cockney Al Blaire. F'in love. I wrote it just for you!
I wish I could change the title of this thread...

[lockerogue]

LMAO these are amazing.

[Hi-Fi]

<<BRING BRING!!>>
<<BRING BRING!!>>
Hepzibah: Hellooooooo?
Cecilia Reyes: Oh my God! Thank you Lord, thank you! X-Men, I need help!! I finally escaped the Weapon X program, but...
Hepzibah: MEOWWW!!!
Cecilia Reyes: Who's this?? That's the Xavier Institute?
Hepzibah: Yes, Mansion Xavier is here.
Cecila Reyes: I don't have much time! They're coming for me. I'm so tired of running and hiding. I miss my loved ones, my life. Please, can I talk to Cyclops or...
Hepzibah: Cyclops is son of Hepzibah's former lover!
Cecilia Reyes: Is he around? Or maybe Wolverine? Jean Grey? Angel?
Hepzibah: Little birds, little birds, I'm gonna eat them all!
Cecilia Reyes: That's... great, but could I please speak to Cyclops or Storm? This is a life and death situation here.
Hepzibah: Are you a bird? A beautiful talking little bird?
Cecilia Reyes:Look, psycho, I'm in danger here! I'll give you my location and...
Hepzibah: Sorry, annoying bird-woman, but I'm gonna sex the Proudstar boy now.
Cecilia Reyes: No! Please, don't hang up, plea--
<CLICK>



:o
LOL. I was funny once!


Flight needs to come back and post more awesome conversations between Rogue and Blob.

[Hi-Fi]

<BRING BRING!!>
<BRING BRING!!>
Karma: Hello!
Voice: (booming) I am Apocalypse!
Karma: Yes?
Apocalypse: I said, I am Apocalypse!
Karma: We've established that, yes, how can I help?
Apocalypse: Where are the X-Men?
Karma: They're busy, can I take a message?
Apocalypse: Tell them I'm going to enslave the world and have mutantkind fall at my feet.
Karma: Will do. Anything else?
Apocalypse: What do you mean anything else?!
Karma: Any other message or just the world domination one?
Apocalypse: I wish to speak to the X-Man in charge!!
Karma: I'm afriad no-ones around but me.
Apocalypse: So what if I came to your big X-House and tried to destroy it??
Karma: Well, I'd try to stop you.
Apocalypse: All on your own??
Karma: Listen I'm extremely busy! Cyclops team disappeared in a penis shaped spacecraft, Nightcrawler went off with Professor X to hunt down the man that killed Banshee, Storm ran away with the Black Panther. I think she joined the Frightful Four or something, don't know where the kids are but there is a giant hole in the living room floor and I haven't seen Rogue's team since I caught Lady Mastermind & Iceman peeing in the washing that I set down!! Now, if you don't mind, I have food to buy, Shadowcat's dirty underwear to press and I still haven't had a shower!!!!!!
Apocalypse: I'll call back.
<CLICK>
LOLOLOLOLOL

[psycwave]

OMG THESE ARE GREAT!!
Do Psylocke and Archangel. PLZZZZ!

[Flight]

LOL. I was funny once! You were funny a MILLION times.
I heart you.

[yanapryde]

I wish someone would call Illyana.

[Novaya Havoc]

You were funny a MILLION times.
I heart you.

I think we need a MONET and LONGSHOT conversation.

[AcesX1X]

LOL! what?

i'm in love.

[Flight]

I think we need a MONET and LONGSHOT conversation. MAKE one then Novaya Havoc if you're so "funny".

[Perfection/Emma 2]

Someone do one with Martinique and Regan

[Slung]

Ahhh, a resurrected Flight thread. How very Jean Grey of it!

[Flight]

Ahhh, a resurrected Flight thread. How very Jean Grey of it! There's loads tootz, check the 2nd page.
Retro is in this Spring!

[Slung]

<BRING><BRING>
<BRING><BRING>
Emma: This is Emma Grace Frost speaking
Voice: Hello Ms. Frost, this is Claudette with the Massachusetts DMV.
Emma: How can I help y...was that a clicking sound?
Voice: This call may be recorded for quality assurance. Now, we've noticed several discrepancies in your personal information.
Emma: Discrepancies? Hmmm...Now listen carefully, you weak-minded woman, you will hang up now and discover that there are no discrepancies in my information. None.
Voice: So sorry - I was unable to catch that. Poor connection. As I was saying we've found discrepancies in your information. Our current information says that you are blonde, but that doesn't match our older, more reliable data. What is your natural hair color?
Emma: Blonde.
Voice: A touch of static, but I think you said brown. Can you tell me how old you are?
Emma: I am 27. twenty. seven. You will hear my words and type it in.
Voice: I must have lost you for a moment. I thought you said 27. Which would be impossible...this is odd, according to our records you were 27 two years ago. And two years before that you were also 27. What year were you born, Ms. Frost.
Emma: 27 years ago. You will obey my will and do the math in your own damn head.
Voice: Your voice is a trifle garbled and your message is not quite getting through. You must have said 37 - according to our records that seems correct. Is that correct.
Emma: Yes.
Voice: Could you speak up please Ms. Frost?
Emma: Yes. Dammit!
Voice: Height 5'7" weight...well, this says 105, but that seems a bit thin...are you well, Ms. Frost?
Emma: Just put down 130 you whore.
Voice: Let me just make sure I've got this down. Could you repeat your age, weight and hair color for me?
Emma: OBEY MY WILL! You will follow my psychic suggestions and wake up topless in Tijuana with a splitting headache, a tattoo of Ben Stiller and a pair of your grandmother's underwear on your head.
Voice: Its difficult to hear you ma'am, and it could be trouble for you if we don't get this right. Age: 37, hair: brown, weight: 130? Is this correct?
Emma: (exasperated) YES, you ugly, beast of a woman.
Voice: Merci, Ms. Frost.
Emma: ...
Emma: Monet? Is that you?
Voice: (in the distance) I got it all on tape Theresa! Upload it to Youtube.
Emma: Monet, you dirty tramp!
Voice: No, Madrox! Not that picture for the background, the one where she's in the white diaper. The other one...Ooh, the Asian prostitute look.
Emma: MONET!
Voice: No, don't crop out the camel toe.
<CLICK>

[wolvie616]

<BRING><BRING>
<BRING><BRING>
Emma: This is Emma Grace Frost speaking
Voice: Hello Ms. Frost, this is Claudette with the Massachusetts DMV.
Emma: How can I help y...was that a clicking sound?
Voice: This call may be recorded for quality assurance. Now, we've noticed several discrepancies in your personal information.
Emma: Discrepancies? Hmmm...Now listen carefully, you weak-minded woman, you will hang up now and discover that there are no discrepancies in my information. None.
Voice: So sorry - I was unable to catch that. Poor connection. As I was saying we've found discrepancies in your information. Our current information says that you are blonde, but that doesn't match our older, more reliable data. What is your natural hair color?
Emma: Blonde.
Voice: A touch of static, but I think you said brown. Can you tell me how old you are?
Emma: I am 27. twenty. seven. You will hear my words and type it in.
Voice: I must have lost you for a moment. I thought you said 27. Which would be impossible...this is odd, according to our records you were 27 two years ago. And two years before that you were also 27. What year were you born, Ms. Frost.
Emma: 27 years ago. You will obey my will and do the math in your own damn head.
Voice: Your voice is a trifle garbled and your message is not quite getting through. You must have said 37 - according to our records that seems correct. Is that correct.
Emma: Yes.
Voice: Could you speak up please Ms. Frost?
Emma: Yes. Dammit!
Voice: Height 5'7" weight...well, this says 105, but that seems a bit thin...are you well, Ms. Frost?
Emma: Just put down 130 you whore.
Voice: Let me just make sure I've got this down. Could you repeat your age, weight and hair color for me?
Emma: OBEY MY WILL! You will follow my psychic suggestions and wake up topless in Tijuana with a splitting headache, a tattoo of Ben Stiller and a pair of your grandmother's underwear on your head.
Voice: Its difficult to hear you ma'am, and it could be trouble for you if we don't get this right. Age: 37, hair: brown, weight: 130? Is this correct?
Emma: (exasperated) YES, you ugly, beast of a woman.
Voice: Merci, Ms. Frost.
Emma: ...
Emma: Monet? Is that you?
Voice: (in the distance) I got it all on tape Theresa! Upload it to Youtube.
Emma: Monet, you dirty tramp!
Voice: No, Madrox! Not that picture for the background, the one where she's in the white diaper. The other one...Ooh, the Asian prostitute look.
Emma: MONET!
Voice: No, don't crop out the camel toe.
<CLICK>

THIS is genius!

[Perfection/Emma 2]

So Monet, So Emma. Keep em comin and I still want my Marti/Regan

[Slung]

THIS is genius!

Ah, thanks!

[DeniseXfrost]

<BRING><BRING>
<BRING><BRING>
Emma: This is Emma Grace Frost speaking
Voice: Hello Ms. Frost, this is Claudette with the Massachusetts DMV.
Emma: How can I help y...was that a clicking sound?
Voice: This call may be recorded for quality assurance. Now, we've noticed several discrepancies in your personal information.
Emma: Discrepancies? Hmmm...Now listen carefully, you weak-minded woman, you will hang up now and discover that there are no discrepancies in my information. None.
Voice: So sorry - I was unable to catch that. Poor connection. As I was saying we've found discrepancies in your information. Our current information says that you are blonde, but that doesn't match our older, more reliable data. What is your natural hair color?
Emma: Blonde.
Voice: A touch of static, but I think you said brown. Can you tell me how old you are?
Emma: I am 27. twenty. seven. You will hear my words and type it in.
Voice: I must have lost you for a moment. I thought you said 27. Which would be impossible...this is odd, according to our records you were 27 two years ago. And two years before that you were also 27. What year were you born, Ms. Frost.
Emma: 27 years ago. You will obey my will and do the math in your own damn head.
Voice: Your voice is a trifle garbled and your message is not quite getting through. You must have said 37 - according to our records that seems correct. Is that correct.
Emma: Yes.
Voice: Could you speak up please Ms. Frost?
Emma: Yes. Dammit!
Voice: Height 5'7" weight...well, this says 105, but that seems a bit thin...are you well, Ms. Frost?
Emma: Just put down 130 you whore.
Voice: Let me just make sure I've got this down. Could you repeat your age, weight and hair color for me?
Emma: OBEY MY WILL! You will follow my psychic suggestions and wake up topless in Tijuana with a splitting headache, a tattoo of Ben Stiller and a pair of your grandmother's underwear on your head.
Voice: Its difficult to hear you ma'am, and it could be trouble for you if we don't get this right. Age: 37, hair: brown, weight: 130? Is this correct?
Emma: (exasperated) YES, you ugly, beast of a woman.
Voice: Merci, Ms. Frost.
Emma: ...
Emma: Monet? Is that you?
Voice: (in the distance) I got it all on tape Theresa! Upload it to Youtube.
Emma: Monet, you dirty tramp!
Voice: No, Madrox! Not that picture for the background, the one where she's in the white diaper. The other one...Ooh, the Asian prostitute look.
Emma: MONET!
Voice: No, don't crop out the camel toe.
<CLICK>
It hurts, Slung.

I'm gonna do a Jean grey/Pixie to burn you :evilsmile:

[Slung]

It hurts, Slung.

I'm gonna do a Jean grey/Pixie to burn you :evilsmile:

I found a very authentic voice for Emma that her fans would appreciate. Apparently you are not a true fan.

[Slung]

It hurts, Slung.

I'm gonna do a Jean grey/Pixie to burn you :evilsmile:

I'll do it for you. Just give me a sec.

[Novaya Havoc]

I forgot how much I <3 this thread.

[Slung]

<BRING><BRING>
<BRING><BRING>
Pixie: Hull-o!
Jean: Thank God I got someone. I've just returned and found the mansion in complete ruin.
Pixie: Who is this?
Jean: Jean Grey. I need to speak to Scott at once.
Pixie: uh huh. He's busy right now. I could hang up and you could leave a message.
Jean: This is Jean Grey!
Pixie: Do I know you?
Jean: I'm Jean Grey.
Pixie: Are you that lady Cyclops dumped for Ms. Frost?
Jean: I died.
Pixie: Right. Convenient for you and him I guess. Do you want to leave a message or what.
Jean: What is Scott doing? This is important.
Pixie: It could be awhile 'til he's available. He and Ms. Frost are having one of their meetings. That's grown up code for sex. *teehee*. They are ALWAYS having meetings. *giggle*
Jean:...I AM FIRE INCARNATE! THE CHAOS BRINGER
Pixie: Ooo-kay.
Jean: I'm sorry, I spaced out for a moment. Did I say something odd? See I have this primal cosmic force coursing through my veins and sometimes I lose control.
Pixe: Whatever. Psycho.
Jean: ...And who exactly are you?
Pixie: I'm Pixie, the newest, most awesome-est, Mary Sue-ish girl-next-door, jailbait on the team.
Jean: Oh, you're one of Logan's "girls".
Pixie: Well, Armor (this totally lame girl with terrible Cleopatra bangs) and I tag team him.
Jean: That sounds...inappropriate.
Pixie: Look, weird lady. I'm not entirely clear who you are --
Jean: Jean Grey.
Pixie: -- or why you're here, but we don't really need you. We've got Ms. Frost with her magnificent rack. We're already dealing with Cyclops' other crazy ex-wife. And we've got this red-headed Jesus Girl.
Jean: Jesus Girl?
Pixie: Yeah, Dazzler says that the reason Cyclops keeps waving his crotch in Messiah Girl's face is that he's trying to bait her to see if she's the real deal. I have no idea what that means. I'm precocious.
Jean: You are clearly more annoying and stupid then Kitty and Jubilee combined.
Pixie: Thats what Ms. Frost says. You guys should be best friends, you'd like her.
Jean: ...
Pixie: Well, its been nice talking to you. I need to go uncover more secrets about Cyclops' killer mutant death squad. Bye.
Jean: Wha...wait...
<CLICK>
Jean: Stupid girl, I wasn't fini...CRAP.

[darknessatnoon]

Youshouldn'thaveputspacesbetweenpixie'swords.

[DeniseXfrost]

Beyotch stole my idea!

Joking hehe...I'm not funny.

[Perfection/Emma 2]

<BRING><BRING>
<BRING><BRING>
Pixie: Hull-o!
Jean: Thank God I got someone. I've just returned and found the mansion in complete ruin.
Pixie: Who is this?
Jean: Jean Grey. I need to speak to Scott at once.
Pixie: uh huh. He's busy right now. I could hang up and you could leave a message.
Jean: This is Jean Grey!
Pixie: Do I know you?
Jean: I'm Jean Grey.
Pixie: Are you that lady Cyclops dumped for Ms. Frost?
Jean: I died.
Pixie: Right. Convenient for you and him I guess. Do you want to leave a message or what.
Jean: What is Scott doing? This is important.
Pixie: It could be awhile 'til he's available. He and Ms. Frost are having one of their meetings. That's grown up code for sex. *teehee*. They are ALWAYS having meetings. *giggle*
Jean:...I AM FIRE INCARNATE! THE CHAOS BRINGER
Pixie: Ooo-kay.
Jean: I'm sorry, I spaced out for a moment. Did I say something odd? See I have this primal cosmic force coursing through my veins and sometimes I lose control.
Pixe: Whatever. Psycho.
Jean: ...And who exactly are you?
Pixie: I'm Pixie, the newest, most awesome-est, Mary Sue-ish girl-next-door, jailbait on the team.
Jean: Oh, you're one of Logan's "girls".
Pixie: Well, Armor (this totally lame girl with terrible Cleopatra bangs) and I tag team him.
Jean: That sounds...inappropriate.
Pixie: Look, weird lady. I'm not entirely clear who you are --
Jean: Jean Grey.
Pixie: -- or why you're here, but we don't really need you. We've got Ms. Frost with her magnificent rack. We're already dealing with Cyclops' other crazy ex-wife. And we've got this red-headed Jesus Girl.
Jean: Jesus Girl?
Pixie: Yeah, Dazzler says that the reason Cyclops keeps waving his crotch in Messiah Girl's face is that he's trying to bait her to see if she's the real deal. I have no idea what that means. I'm precocious.
Jean: You are clearly more annoying and stupid then Kitty and Jubilee combined.
Pixie: Thats what Ms. Frost says. You guys should be best friends, you'd like her.
Jean: ...
Pixie: Well, its been nice talking to you. I need to go uncover more secrets about Cyclops' killer mutant death squad. Bye.
Jean: Wha...wait...
<CLICK>
Jean: Stupid girl, I wasn't fini...CRAP.

As the words of Britney Spears, GIVE ME MORE!

[Slung]

As the words of Britney Spears, GIVE ME MORE!

I would, but this thread is not grinding and bumping with a bunch of activity like it should be.

[coveredinbees]

Pixie: Thats what Ms. Frost says. You guys should be best friends, you'd like her.
Jean: ...

Could you do Jean and Emma next?

[Slung]

Could you do Jean and Emma next?

I would, but no one is reading this thread. Its like a pointless exercise in self-love.

[lockerogue]

I would, but no one is reading this thread. Its like a pointless exercise in self-love.

I am Slung. These are hilarious.

[yanapryde]

OH I wish for a discussion with Illyana/Magik!!
Oh how I wish!

Not sure who with though....maybe Armor?
Or...uh....X-23?

[Slung]

I am Slung. These are hilarious.

Well, its Flight's baby that was nurtured by HiFi. I am just babysitting.

[Slung]

Could you do Jean and Emma next?

<BRING><BRING>
<BRING><BRING>
Emma: Utopia Mutant Paradise, this is Emma.
Jean:...
Emma: God, I can hear you breathing. Tacky.
Jean:...Sorry, I wasn't expecting them to put someone with such refined social skills on customer service.
Emma: Yes, yes, I'm the quintessential call girl. What do you want?
Jean: I want to speak with Scott.
Emma: He's tied up right now. Literally handcuffed to the bed.
Jean: This is Jean.
Emma: Obviously.
Jean: I've been looking for the X-Men everywhere.
Emma: Scott's got us in this internment camp on a trash heap in the middle of the ocean. He's crowned himself Mutant King or something. Thinks he's big deal. We both know he's not that big.
Jean: A man can seem pretty small standing in a vast canyon.
Emma:...I think Scott appreciates my experience, darling.
Jean: Every single decade, I'm sure.
Emma: But I always dress in the decade I'm in, Mom Jeans.
Jean: How do you spend so much and still manage to look so cheap?
Emma: How do you bitch so much and still manage sound so pathetic?
Jean: When I get there, I'll introduce you to a kettle. Now, let me talk to Scott.
Emma: No.
Jean: Don't you have a pony to kill or a child's life to ruin?
Emma: That's pencilled in for this afternoon.
(Scott's voice)
Emma: No Scott, it isn't for you. It's just some stupid slut who got the wrong number.
(Scott's voice)
Emma: Why would you think it's Jean?
Jean: Emma! Give Scott the phone NOW!
Emma: I'm sorry, por favor. You've got the muy wrong numero. Skank.
*click*

[Perfection/Emma 2]

<BRING><BRING>
<BRING><BRING>
Emma: Utopia Mutant Paradise, this is Emma.
Jean:...
Emma: God, I can hear you breathing. Tacky.
Jean:...Sorry, I wasn't expecting them to put someone with such refined social skills on customer service.
Emma: Yes, yes, I'm the quintessential call girl. What do you want?
Jean: I want to speak with Scott.
Emma: He's tied up right now. Literally handcuffed to the bed.
Jean: This is Jean.
Emma: Obviously.
Jean: I've been looking for the X-Men everywhere.
Emma: Scott's got us in this internment camp on a trash heap in the middle of the ocean. He's crowned himself Mutant King or something. Thinks he's big deal. We both know he's not that big.
Jean: A man can seem pretty small standing in a vast canyon.
Emma:...I think Scott appreciates my experience, darling.
Jean: Every single decade, I'm sure.
Emma: But I always dress in the decade I'm in, Mom Jeans.
Jean: How do you spend so much and still manage to look so cheap?
Emma: How do you bitch so much and still manage sound so pathetic?
Jean: When I get there, I'll introduce you to a kettle. Now, let me talk to Scott.
Emma: No.
Jean: Don't you have a pony to kill or a child's life to ruin?
Emma: That's pencilled in for this afternoon.
(Scott's voice)
Emma: No Scott, it isn't for you. It's just some stupid slut who got the wrong number.
(Scott's voice)
Emma: Why would you think it's Jean?
Jean: Emma! Give Scott the phone NOW!
Emma: I'm sorry, por favor. You've got the muy wrong numero. Skank.
*click*

Amazing, just amazing

[Slung]

Amazing, just amazing

I kind of wish it was titled something different now: like "Flights Amazing X-Men Phone Calls" or something. People don't get how much fun this thread is.

[psycwave]

Slung that was fantastic.

[pryde15]

Slung that was fantastic.

I need moar...

[Puunk]

<BRING><BRING>
<BRING><BRING>
Emma: Utopia Mutant Paradise, this is Emma.
Jean:...
Emma: God, I can hear you breathing. Tacky.
Jean:...Sorry, I wasn't expecting them to put someone with such refined social skills on customer service.
Emma: Yes, yes, I'm the quintessential call girl. What do you want?
Jean: I want to speak with Scott.
Emma: He's tied up right now. Literally handcuffed to the bed.
Jean: This is Jean.
Emma: Obviously.
Jean: I've been looking for the X-Men everywhere.
Emma: Scott's got us in this internment camp on a trash heap in the middle of the ocean. He's crowned himself Mutant King or something. Thinks he's big deal. We both know he's not that big.
Jean: A man can seem pretty small standing in a vast canyon.
Emma:...I think Scott appreciates my experience, darling.
Jean: Every single decade, I'm sure.
Emma: But I always dress in the decade I'm in, Mom Jeans.
Jean: How do you spend so much and still manage to look so cheap?
Emma: How do you bitch so much and still manage sound so pathetic?
Jean: When I get there, I'll introduce you to a kettle. Now, let me talk to Scott.
Emma: No.
Jean: Don't you have a pony to kill or a child's life to ruin?
Emma: That's pencilled in for this afternoon.
(Scott's voice)
Emma: No Scott, it isn't for you. It's just some stupid slut who got the wrong number.
(Scott's voice)
Emma: Why would you think it's Jean?
Jean: Emma! Give Scott the phone NOW!
Emma: I'm sorry, por favor. You've got the muy wrong numero. Skank.
*click*

LOL! This is fantastic!

Ahah the dialogue is pitch perfect, way to go Slung.

[Puunk]

<BRING><BRING>
<BRING><BRING>
Emma: This is Emma Grace Frost speaking
Voice: Hello Ms. Frost, this is Claudette with the Massachusetts DMV.
Emma: How can I help y...was that a clicking sound?
Voice: This call may be recorded for quality assurance. Now, we've noticed several discrepancies in your personal information.
Emma: Discrepancies? Hmmm...Now listen carefully, you weak-minded woman, you will hang up now and discover that there are no discrepancies in my information. None.
Voice: So sorry - I was unable to catch that. Poor connection. As I was saying we've found discrepancies in your information. Our current information says that you are blonde, but that doesn't match our older, more reliable data. What is your natural hair color?
Emma: Blonde.
Voice: A touch of static, but I think you said brown. Can you tell me how old you are?
Emma: I am 27. twenty. seven. You will hear my words and type it in.
Voice: I must have lost you for a moment. I thought you said 27. Which would be impossible...this is odd, according to our records you were 27 two years ago. And two years before that you were also 27. What year were you born, Ms. Frost.
Emma: 27 years ago. You will obey my will and do the math in your own damn head.
Voice: Your voice is a trifle garbled and your message is not quite getting through. You must have said 37 - according to our records that seems correct. Is that correct.
Emma: Yes.
Voice: Could you speak up please Ms. Frost?
Emma: Yes. Dammit!
Voice: Height 5'7" weight...well, this says 105, but that seems a bit thin...are you well, Ms. Frost?
Emma: Just put down 130 you whore.
Voice: Let me just make sure I've got this down. Could you repeat your age, weight and hair color for me?
Emma: OBEY MY WILL! You will follow my psychic suggestions and wake up topless in Tijuana with a splitting headache, a tattoo of Ben Stiller and a pair of your grandmother's underwear on your head.
Voice: Its difficult to hear you ma'am, and it could be trouble for you if we don't get this right. Age: 37, hair: brown, weight: 130? Is this correct?
Emma: (exasperated) YES, you ugly, beast of a woman.
Voice: Merci, Ms. Frost.
Emma: ...
Emma: Monet? Is that you?
Voice: (in the distance) I got it all on tape Theresa! Upload it to Youtube.
Emma: Monet, you dirty tramp!
Voice: No, Madrox! Not that picture for the background, the one where she's in the white diaper. The other one...Ooh, the Asian prostitute look.
Emma: MONET!
Voice: No, don't crop out the camel toe.
<CLICK>

LOL! Ohmg I actually LOLed when reading this. This is brilliant Slung.

The thread title is so misleading, I wouldn't have noticed this if I hadn't casually skimmed a page back from last.

[psycwave]

I need moar...

I demand a Psylocke/Emma phone convo. And a Dazzler/Mortis phone reunion.

[pryde15]

I demand a Psylocke/Emma phone convo. And a Dazzler/Mortis phone reunion.

Kitty/Emma, Kitty/Xavier, Rachel/Emma would be be better.

[coveredinbees]

<BRING><BRING>
<BRING><BRING>
Thank you, Slung. That was fabulous.


Emma: Scott's got us in this internment camp on a trash heap in the middle of the ocean. He's crowned himself Mutant King or something. Thinks he's big deal. We both know he's not that big.

Jean: Don't you have a pony to kill or a child's life to ruin?

[MarvelGirlBoy]

<BRING BRING!!>
<BRING BRING!!>
Lady Mastermind: Hello??
Voice: Hi! This is Mrs Guthrie, is Sam or Paige there please? Or the winged one?
Lady Mastermind: The winged one? The one that died? Oooh, you mean Archangel! Hold on 2 secs, I'll get him.
Mrs Guthrie: Archangel??? No, I'd like to speak to one of my children please. What do you mean the one that died? Hello? Is anyone there? Hell--
Archangel: Hello?
Mrs Guthrie: Hello, is that you Paige?
Archangel: No, this is Warren Worthington III, who is this please?
Mrs Guthrie: Oh, its you. Please pass Paige onto the phone.
Archangel: Page? You want a book? I don't understand.
Mrs Guthrie: Paige!! Where is Samual?
Archangel: You mean Cannonballs? I think he's with Iceman in the hot--
Mrs Guthrie: I mean Sam Guthrie!! Who is Cannonballs?!
Archangel: (away from phone) I don't know who this is? She's looking for a page? A book, I dunno. You speak to her.
Northstar: Salut!
Mrs Guthrie: Sal-- what the?? Who is this now?? Where is Sam?
Northstar: You mean Cannonballz?
<CLICK>

<BRING BRING!!>
<BRING BRING!!>
Karma: Hello!
Voice: (booming) I am Apocalypse!
Karma: Yes?
Apocalypse: I said, I am Apocalypse!
Karma: We've established that, yes, how can I help?
Apocalypse: Where are the X-Men?
Karma: They're busy, can I take a message?
Apocalypse: Tell them I'm going to enslave the world and have mutantkind fall at my feet.
Karma: Will do. Anything else?
Apocalypse: What do you mean anything else?!
Karma: Any other message or just the world domination one?
Apocalypse: I wish to speak to the X-Man in charge!!
Karma: I'm afriad no-ones around but me.
Apocalypse: So what if I came to your big X-House and tried to destroy it??
Karma: Well, I'd try to stop you.
Apocalypse: All on your own??
Karma: Listen I'm extremely busy! Cyclops team disappeared in a penis shaped spacecraft, Nightcrawler went off with Professor X to hunt down the man that killed Banshee, Storm ran away with the Black Panther. I think she joined the Frightful Four or something, don't know where the kids are but there is a giant hole in the living room floor and I haven't seen Rogue's team since I caught Lady Mastermind & Iceman peeing in the washing that I set down!! Now, if you don't mind, I have food to buy, Shadowcat's dirty underwear to press and I still haven't had a shower!!!!!!
Apocalypse: I'll call back.
<CLICK>

<<BRING BRING!!>>
<<BRING BRING!!>>
Hepzibah: Hellooooooo?
Cecilia Reyes: Oh my God! Thank you Lord, thank you! X-Men, I need help!! I finally escaped the Weapon X program, but...
Hepzibah: MEOWWW!!!
Cecilia Reyes: Who's this?? That's the Xavier Institute?
Hepzibah: Yes, Mansion Xavier is here.
Cecila Reyes: I don't have much time! They're coming for me. I'm so tired of running and hiding. I miss my loved ones, my life. Please, can I talk to Cyclops or...
Hepzibah: Cyclops is son of Hepzibah's former lover!
Cecilia Reyes: Is he around? Or maybe Wolverine? Jean Grey? Angel?
Hepzibah: Little birds, little birds, I'm gonna eat them all!
Cecilia Reyes: That's... great, but could I please speak to Cyclops or Storm? This is a life and death situation here.
Hepzibah: Are you a bird? A beautiful talking little bird?
Cecilia Reyes:Look, psycho, I'm in danger here! I'll give you my location and...
Hepzibah: Sorry, annoying bird-woman, but I'm gonna sex the Proudstar boy now.
Cecilia Reyes: No! Please, don't hang up, plea--
<CLICK>



:o

<BRING><BRING>
<BRING><BRING>
Pixie: Hull-o!
Jean: Thank God I got someone. I've just returned and found the mansion in complete ruin.
Pixie: Who is this?
Jean: Jean Grey. I need to speak to Scott at once.
Pixie: uh huh. He's busy right now. I could hang up and you could leave a message.
Jean: This is Jean Grey!
Pixie: Do I know you?
Jean: I'm Jean Grey.
Pixie: Are you that lady Cyclops dumped for Ms. Frost?
Jean: I died.
Pixie: Right. Convenient for you and him I guess. Do you want to leave a message or what.
Jean: What is Scott doing? This is important.
Pixie: It could be awhile 'til he's available. He and Ms. Frost are having one of their meetings. That's grown up code for sex. *teehee*. They are ALWAYS having meetings. *giggle*
Jean:...I AM FIRE INCARNATE! THE CHAOS BRINGER
Pixie: Ooo-kay.
Jean: I'm sorry, I spaced out for a moment. Did I say something odd? See I have this primal cosmic force coursing through my veins and sometimes I lose control.
Pixe: Whatever. Psycho.
Jean: ...And who exactly are you?
Pixie: I'm Pixie, the newest, most awesome-est, Mary Sue-ish girl-next-door, jailbait on the team.
Jean: Oh, you're one of Logan's "girls".
Pixie: Well, Armor (this totally lame girl with terrible Cleopatra bangs) and I tag team him.
Jean: That sounds...inappropriate.
Pixie: Look, weird lady. I'm not entirely clear who you are --
Jean: Jean Grey.
Pixie: -- or why you're here, but we don't really need you. We've got Ms. Frost with her magnificent rack. We're already dealing with Cyclops' other crazy ex-wife. And we've got this red-headed Jesus Girl.
Jean: Jesus Girl?
Pixie: Yeah, Dazzler says that the reason Cyclops keeps waving his crotch in Messiah Girl's face is that he's trying to bait her to see if she's the real deal. I have no idea what that means. I'm precocious.
Jean: You are clearly more annoying and stupid then Kitty and Jubilee combined.
Pixie: Thats what Ms. Frost says. You guys should be best friends, you'd like her.
Jean: ...
Pixie: Well, its been nice talking to you. I need to go uncover more secrets about Cyclops' killer mutant death squad. Bye.
Jean: Wha...wait...
<CLICK>
Jean: Stupid girl, I wasn't fini...CRAP.

This thread is amaze.
LOLOLOLOL.

Best CBR Thread of alltime. This is canon.

[psycwave]

Kitty/Emma, Kitty/Xavier, Rachel/Emma would be be better.

I would like a Kitty/Anole.
And Risque/ Armour. Battle of the Cleopatra bangs.(Of course Risque would win though)

[Puunk]

<BRING BRING!!>
<BRING BRING!!>
Lady Mastermind: Hello??
Voice: Hi! This is Mrs Guthrie, is Sam or Paige there please? Or the winged one?
Lady Mastermind: The winged one? The one that died? Oooh, you mean Archangel! Hold on 2 secs, I'll get him.
Mrs Guthrie: Archangel??? No, I'd like to speak to one of my children please. What do you mean the one that died? Hello? Is anyone there? Hell--
Archangel: Hello?
Mrs Guthrie: Hello, is that you Paige?
Archangel: No, this is Warren Worthington III, who is this please?
Mrs Guthrie: Oh, its you. Please pass Paige onto the phone.
Archangel: Page? You want a book? I don't understand.
Mrs Guthrie: Paige!! Where is Samual?
Archangel: You mean Cannonballs? I think he's with Iceman in the hot--
Mrs Guthrie: I mean Sam Guthrie!! Who is Cannonballs?!
Archangel: (away from phone) I don't know who this is? She's looking for a page? A book, I dunno. You speak to her.
Northstar: Salut!
Mrs Guthrie: Sal-- what the?? Who is this now?? Where is Sam?
Northstar: You mean Cannonballz?
<CLICK>

LOL.

This is hilarious! Ah man.

Is Flight still posting? I want more.

[Slung]

<BRING><BRING>
<BRING><BRING>
Emma: Utopia Mutant Paradise, this is Emma Frost speaking.
Voice: Will you except an intergalactic collect call from...It's Katherine *expletive* Pryde. Pick up jerks....
*click*
<BRING><BRING>
<BRING><BRING>
Beast: Dystopia Mutant Isolationists Dictatorship, this is Henry McCoy.
Voice: Will you except an intergalactic collect call from...It's Katherine *expletive* Pryde. Pick up j---...
*click*
<BRING><BRING>
<BRING><BRING>
Pixie: Hul-looo!!!
Voice: Will you except an intergalactic collect call from...It's Katherine *expletive* Pryde. Pick up jerks....
Pixie: Sure!
Pixie: Hul-looo?!?!
Kitty: Which X-Baby am I talking to?
Pixie: This is PIXIE! *giggle*
Kitty: Dear *expletive* Lord. I was hoping for one of the smart *expletive* kids. I'm stuck at some Space Pirate dive in the middle of the Kree Empire. Could you *expletive* send somebody to get me?
Pixie: Well, that sounds like a job Hepzibah would be good at, but Ms. Frost says "Kitty-in-Law has fleas and stays in a pet bungalow in San Francisco". How was my Ms. Frost impression? Did you like it?
Kitty: Sure, kid. You sound just like the honky WASP. All right, let me talk to my favorite *racial slur* girl, Ororo.
Pixie: Ms. Frost says that Storm is on bed pan duty in Wakanda.
Kitty: Really, I was sure that old *homophobic slur* would have broken that sham of a marriage off by now. Well, patch me through to someone in charge.
Pixie: Ms. Frost? *giggle*
Kitty: Not that whorish cracker. Someone without *expletive* syphilis. Whose next in the chain of command?
Pixie: Oooh! Oooh! That would be me!!
Kitty: What about my commie ex I used to pity *expletive*?
Pixie: He's tutoring the Russian prostitutes.
Kitty: Figures. How about my old X-Baby friends: the redskin, the redneck, or the Mexican boy Roberto?
Pixie: I think they are busy playing with their old friend Doug.
Kitty: That *homophobic slur* is alive again?
Pixie: Oooh, here's that mean ocean guy, King Triton or whatever. It's that Kitty girl everyone thought was so annoying!
Namor: What do you want Mutie?
Kitty: How DARE you say something so offensive!
*click*

[psycwave]

LOL classic Kitty. Spot on Slung.

[Puunk]

<<BRING BRING!!>>
<<BRING BRING!!>>
Emma: (bursts into tears) Those little rascal kids kidnapped me! I was forced to go to that planet against my will!!
Voice: No, you weren't Miss Frost. Gucknik's cameras clearly show you leading the young group of students into mischief.

LOL. This is classic.

[Puunk]

LOL, that was awesome Slung, I love Kitty there.

[Puunk]

Someone do one with Martinique and Regan

Seconded!

This would be so good.

[pryde15]

<BRING><BRING>
<BRING><BRING>
Emma: Utopia Mutant Paradise, this is Emma Frost speaking.
Voice: Will you except an intergalactic collect call from...It's Katherine *expletive* Pryde. Pick up jerks....
*click*
<BRING><BRING>
<BRING><BRING>
Beast: Dystopia Mutant Isolationists Dictatorship, this is Henry McCoy.
Voice: Will you except an intergalactic collect call from...It's Katherine *expletive* Pryde. Pick up j---...
*click*
<BRING><BRING>
<BRING><BRING>
Pixie: Hul-looo!!!
Voice: Will you except an intergalactic collect call from...It's Katherine *expletive* Pryde. Pick up jerks....
Pixie: Sure!
Pixie: Hul-looo?!?!
Kitty: Which X-Baby am I talking to?
Pixie: This is PIXIE! *giggle*
Kitty: Dear *expletive* Lord. I was hoping for one of the smart *expletive* kids. I'm stuck at some Space Pirate dive in the middle of the Kree Empire. Could you *expletive* send somebody to get me?
Pixie: Well, that sounds like a job Hepzibah would be good at, but Ms. Frost says "Kitty-in-Law has fleas and stays in a pet bungalow in San Francisco". How was my Ms. Frost impression? Did you like it?
Kitty: Sure, kid. You sound just like the honky WASP. All right, let me talk to my favorite *racial slur* girl, Ororo.
Pixie: Ms. Frost says that Storm is on bed pan duty in Wakanda.
Kitty: Really, I was sure that old *homophobic slur* would have broken that sham of a marriage off by now. Well, patch me through to someone in charge.
Pixie: Ms. Frost? *giggle*
Kitty: Not that whorish cracker. Someone without *expletive* syphilis. Whose next in the chain of command?
Pixie: Oooh! Oooh! That would be me!!
Kitty: What about my commie ex I used to pity *expletive*?
Pixie: He's tutoring the Russian prostitutes.
Kitty: Figures. How about my old X-Baby friends: the redskin, the redneck, or the Mexican boy Roberto?
Pixie: I think they are busy playing with their old friend Doug.
Kitty: That *homophobic slur* is alive again?
Pixie: Oooh, here's that mean ocean guy, King Triton or whatever. It's that Kitty girl everyone thought was so annoying!
Namor: What do you want Mutie?
Kitty: How DARE you say something so offensive!
*click*

You tell 'em Kit! Show them who's boss!

[Perfection/Emma 2]

<BRING><BRING>
<BRING><BRING>
Emma: Utopia Mutant Paradise, this is Emma Frost speaking.
Voice: Will you except an intergalactic collect call from...It's Katherine *expletive* Pryde. Pick up jerks....
*click*
<BRING><BRING>
<BRING><BRING>
Beast: Dystopia Mutant Isolationists Dictatorship, this is Henry McCoy.
Voice: Will you except an intergalactic collect call from...It's Katherine *expletive* Pryde. Pick up j---...
*click*
<BRING><BRING>
<BRING><BRING>
Pixie: Hul-looo!!!
Voice: Will you except an intergalactic collect call from...It's Katherine *expletive* Pryde. Pick up jerks....
Pixie: Sure!
Pixie: Hul-looo?!?!
Kitty: Which X-Baby am I talking to?
Pixie: This is PIXIE! *giggle*
Kitty: Dear *expletive* Lord. I was hoping for one of the smart *expletive* kids. I'm stuck at some Space Pirate dive in the middle of the Kree Empire. Could you *expletive* send somebody to get me?
Pixie: Well, that sounds like a job Hepzibah would be good at, but Ms. Frost says "Kitty-in-Law has fleas and stays in a pet bungalow in San Francisco". How was my Ms. Frost impression? Did you like it?
Kitty: Sure, kid. You sound just like the honky WASP. All right, let me talk to my favorite *racial slur* girl, Ororo.
Pixie: Ms. Frost says that Storm is on bed pan duty in Wakanda.
Kitty: Really, I was sure that old *homophobic slur* would have broken that sham of a marriage off by now. Well, patch me through to someone in charge.
Pixie: Ms. Frost? *giggle*
Kitty: Not that whorish cracker. Someone without *expletive* syphilis. Whose next in the chain of command?
Pixie: Oooh! Oooh! That would be me!!
Kitty: What about my commie ex I used to pity *expletive*?
Pixie: He's tutoring the Russian prostitutes.
Kitty: Figures. How about my old X-Baby friends: the redskin, the redneck, or the Mexican boy Roberto?
Pixie: I think they are busy playing with their old friend Doug.
Kitty: That *homophobic slur* is alive again?
Pixie: Oooh, here's that mean ocean guy, King Triton or whatever. It's that Kitty girl everyone thought was so annoying!
Namor: What do you want Mutie?
Kitty: How DARE you say something so offensive!
*click*

That was Kitty to the letter. Please I beg of U, do more

[Astonishing!]

These are really good! Well done!