Royal
05-11-2007, 08:11 PM
So in a fit of boredom, I decided to look at all the finalists for this year's contestants for the Eurovision Song Contest.
First of all...it's a big ball of suck. I mean it. What's going on? It's like because something credible actually challenge the idea of pop music and instead of embracing the effort, it's ass is plugged up with bubble gum and a cork.
Sure, I freakin hate DJ Bobo, but looking at most the people who made the finals, at least he made a freaking effort.
Out of....24 competitors, only four are actually trying something different. That is fucking sad.
Elitsa and Stoyan have got the right idea. While the lyrics are non sequetur, it fits the music because it's part of the music.
Marija Serifovic doesn't fit the "popstar" mold but delivers a very powerful song
Roger Cicero. Man. If he puts out an english album, I'd buy it. He's got that vocal jazz down pat.
Sopho might actually be the heir apparent of Kate Bush. We shall see.
Good luck to all four.
As to the rest.....
If I hear one more love song or song's of fake rebellion or "shakin that ass", I'll make sure your country gets on the short list of preemtive attack.
Belarus has an Owen Wilson fetish for some reason. What makes it worse is that he's a douche full of himself.
Romania! It's nice to see you have a boyband that knows how to say "I love you" in many languages. Can they say "fuck off" in many languages as well?
Armenia! You selection can cure insomnia. The side effect on the other hand is sleeping sickness.
Ukraine needs a crash course on what qualifies as a drag queen and what qualifies as a transvestite.
Greece! Menudo called! They need a replacement for Ricky Martin on their reunion tour.
Sweden! David Bowie called! He says that gimmick only works while on drugs!
Lithuania! Your selection is 4Fun. They're 4department stores. There4 they suck.
Fuck you Ireland and fuck your tin whistle!
Russia is so pretentious, even Paris, the open gashed feels elitist.
And finally England. No, No! I see you hiding behind Ukraine. C'mon. Front and center.
Scooch.
You picked Scooch.
Scooch.
You went from Blur......to Scooch.
I find this amazing.
Are you, are you feeling alright? You guys need a better health program?
I mean...what's going on?
Are we practicing some sort of psychotropic experiments on you?
Druging your macky D's?
Cause from '97 to '07...you-you guys went from Blur to-to mutter fackin Scooch. I just find it mind blowing. Simply mind blowing.
Scooch.
*shakes head*
First of all...it's a big ball of suck. I mean it. What's going on? It's like because something credible actually challenge the idea of pop music and instead of embracing the effort, it's ass is plugged up with bubble gum and a cork.
Sure, I freakin hate DJ Bobo, but looking at most the people who made the finals, at least he made a freaking effort.
Out of....24 competitors, only four are actually trying something different. That is fucking sad.
Elitsa and Stoyan have got the right idea. While the lyrics are non sequetur, it fits the music because it's part of the music.
Marija Serifovic doesn't fit the "popstar" mold but delivers a very powerful song
Roger Cicero. Man. If he puts out an english album, I'd buy it. He's got that vocal jazz down pat.
Sopho might actually be the heir apparent of Kate Bush. We shall see.
Good luck to all four.
As to the rest.....
If I hear one more love song or song's of fake rebellion or "shakin that ass", I'll make sure your country gets on the short list of preemtive attack.
Belarus has an Owen Wilson fetish for some reason. What makes it worse is that he's a douche full of himself.
Romania! It's nice to see you have a boyband that knows how to say "I love you" in many languages. Can they say "fuck off" in many languages as well?
Armenia! You selection can cure insomnia. The side effect on the other hand is sleeping sickness.
Ukraine needs a crash course on what qualifies as a drag queen and what qualifies as a transvestite.
Greece! Menudo called! They need a replacement for Ricky Martin on their reunion tour.
Sweden! David Bowie called! He says that gimmick only works while on drugs!
Lithuania! Your selection is 4Fun. They're 4department stores. There4 they suck.
Fuck you Ireland and fuck your tin whistle!
Russia is so pretentious, even Paris, the open gashed feels elitist.
And finally England. No, No! I see you hiding behind Ukraine. C'mon. Front and center.
Scooch.
You picked Scooch.
Scooch.
You went from Blur......to Scooch.
I find this amazing.
Are you, are you feeling alright? You guys need a better health program?
I mean...what's going on?
Are we practicing some sort of psychotropic experiments on you?
Druging your macky D's?
Cause from '97 to '07...you-you guys went from Blur to-to mutter fackin Scooch. I just find it mind blowing. Simply mind blowing.
Scooch.
*shakes head*