DWEarhart
05-11-2007, 08:02 PM
Weez in Pittsburgh. I said Pittsbuuuuuuuuuuurgh. You already know the ending, but the hell with it, we’re going to make it official TOOOOOONIIIIIIIIGHT!!!
MVP & Finlay vs. Chris Benoit & Matt Hardy: All the gold’s over heeeeeeyuuuuuuh. Benoit and Hardy knuckle up, MVP and Finlay are arguing over who’s washing dishes. Finlay’s problem with his eye makes MVP reluctantly tag. Early attempt for the crossface; ropes kill it, and Hardy goes to work. Benoit wants more, sweet NL suplex, and, Hardy tags to gets him some. Finlay and Benoit tag in; Hornswoggle’s happy he found toilet paper. Matt’s knee takes damage, but an enziguri gives opens up his chance to tag Benoit. Tres Germans on Finlay. HEADBUUUUUUTTT- Finlay rolls out. Benoit slaps the jackknife pin on MVP, and it’s for all 3.
Winners: Chris Benoit & Matt Hardy
Ozzy on Smackdown next week. No, not Fozzy. Ozzy.
Jillian vs. Michelle McCool: Jillian getting some love from me. I’m glad she doesn’t have a six pack. Camel Clutch by McCoo, but Jillian shocks the world by knowing she can grab the ropes. New ways to pull hair, then a cart wheel into what might have been an elbow. Straight punches by McCool. Snappin suplex, and another Jacknife, but only 2.
Weak belly belly by McCool, but Jillian goes delicately Muta with the springing elbow. McCool slips Jillian into a sideslam – 1…2…3.
Winner: Michelle McCool.
Kristal implies that she has a solution for Teddy’s managerial problems, but The Hillbillies intrude. The big one was the last fake Kane. Long says he doesn’t have work for them tonight, but next week, oh yes; next week. Kristal brings up Vickie Guerrero, and they bring Eddie’s name back in, nothing extreme, but seemingly necessary for the storyline. Teddy agrees to interview Vickie.
Smackdown reminds us that it sucks being Mr. Kennedy. Then they talk to Ashley. She’s been raiding Matt Striker’s wardrobe. Oh dear, this is an actual interview. Oooookay. She decides to take London and Kendrik’s advice, and make it on her own.
Domino (w/Deuce & Cherry) vs. Paul London (w/Brian Kendrick): London uses his speed and agility, and forces Domino to take a break, but chasing jumping back in the ring, chasing him costs London. JBL points out the high spots costing the former champions a lot. London counters Domino’s foot into a rollup, but only 2. A stalemate with the backslide becomes a rope-walked flapjack. London shuns Deuce away and spin kicks Domino. Kendrick holds Deuce, London dropkicks, then gets the 3 on Domino.
Winner: Paul London
Kane (w/Boogeyman & Little Boogey) vs. Dave Taylor (w/William Regal): Kane slaps around the blood and tights that are blue. Taylor slips under and out, but Kane shows him the way back in. Taylor pounds back, but the ref doesn’t like it. Regal’s distractions take their toll on Kane. Taylor pounds away, but Kane works his way to a sidewalk slam. Boogey big and small keep Regal from buting in, Kane comes down, goozle, and Chokeslam for the 3.
Winner: Kane
Steel Cage –World Title Match: Undertaker © vs. Batista: The build up for this match was damn near ridiculous. Punches by both, BOOT by Undertaker. They play Batista’s new tattoo wraps as an injury. Undertaker goes after it to avoid a possible Batista Bomb. Ground n Pound for Undertaker. He dangles Batista on the top rope, Batista fights back, and drops Taker. The Animal leaps off the tope, and Taker eats shoulder. Batista motions for the door, but Taker goes back to the leg. Batista makes a run for the top, but taker sucks up the beating and prevents the escape. Batista’s pinned between the ropes and the cage. BOOT by Undertaker. Batista is back to fight, and Undertaker is dazed. Good shots by the dead man, and Batista takes pain in the corner, a snake eyes, and BOOT. GOOZLE. CHOKESLAM. The eye liner is STILL ON. 2 COUNT. Taker signals for a Tombstone. Batista’s up, but slides off the back. He drives Taker’s skull into the cage, and the champ is bleeding. Batista gets 2. 10 Count Corner Punch, then uses Taker as a ladder, BUT – LAST RIDE. 1…2…NO. He signals for the door. Taker’s crawling, but Batista grabs him. The crowd al all over this. The door closes. Take perches Batista up top, goozles, and joins Batista upstairs. Elbows by Batista, and he gets Taker down again. Batista’s on top of the cage, Taker rises. He scuttles up the cage, it’s a race. BOTH men droop to the floor. And it’s the two dumbest refs in the whole company, Baldy Mc Opossumkill and Vino Lesweatalot. Even the WWE needs instant replay. They cover the bottom of the monitors with the camera. The crowd directly behind them shout Batista, but the refs think different.
Winner: Draw. Undertaker retains.
MARK HENRY COMES TO GET HIM SOME. He goes right after Taker’s wound. Spinebuster to the post. Henry tosses Taker in. SPLASH. AND AGAIN. He backs up when the refs tell him to. And then…..
“On This Day, I see clearly….” EDGE IS CASHING IT IN BABY!!!!
World Heavyweight Title match – Undertaker © vs. Edge:
The ref accepts the briefcase and this match is now official. The ref is reluctant, but he calls for the bell. Edge covers – 1..2..TAKER IS BACK. Another 2 count, but again Taker isn’t finished. He tries to rise, but he needs help from the ropes. This gives Edge all the time in the world. SPEAR. 1…2…3!!!!
Winner: …and NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWd WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION – EDGE ©
Taker slowly gets up. Edge returns to the ring – briefcase to the face. Taker stays down. Edge stands strong.
Thoughts: Wow, one women’s match that didn’t suck, and one that wasn’t bad at all, but Smackdown’s Divas have always been slightly ahead of Raw’s. Freakin Deacon is a Hillbilly. Ashley split with London and Kendrick. Why the hell didn’t they use my monage tois idea? Oh well. Less weight for the future tag champs London and Kendrick. Tonight saw the best cage match in a long time, with a so so ending. And Edge once again proves why he reigns. All he had to do was show up, work for about 10 minutes, and the night is all about him. Not really, but YEAH it is.
MVP & Finlay vs. Chris Benoit & Matt Hardy: All the gold’s over heeeeeeyuuuuuuh. Benoit and Hardy knuckle up, MVP and Finlay are arguing over who’s washing dishes. Finlay’s problem with his eye makes MVP reluctantly tag. Early attempt for the crossface; ropes kill it, and Hardy goes to work. Benoit wants more, sweet NL suplex, and, Hardy tags to gets him some. Finlay and Benoit tag in; Hornswoggle’s happy he found toilet paper. Matt’s knee takes damage, but an enziguri gives opens up his chance to tag Benoit. Tres Germans on Finlay. HEADBUUUUUUTTT- Finlay rolls out. Benoit slaps the jackknife pin on MVP, and it’s for all 3.
Winners: Chris Benoit & Matt Hardy
Ozzy on Smackdown next week. No, not Fozzy. Ozzy.
Jillian vs. Michelle McCool: Jillian getting some love from me. I’m glad she doesn’t have a six pack. Camel Clutch by McCoo, but Jillian shocks the world by knowing she can grab the ropes. New ways to pull hair, then a cart wheel into what might have been an elbow. Straight punches by McCool. Snappin suplex, and another Jacknife, but only 2.
Weak belly belly by McCool, but Jillian goes delicately Muta with the springing elbow. McCool slips Jillian into a sideslam – 1…2…3.
Winner: Michelle McCool.
Kristal implies that she has a solution for Teddy’s managerial problems, but The Hillbillies intrude. The big one was the last fake Kane. Long says he doesn’t have work for them tonight, but next week, oh yes; next week. Kristal brings up Vickie Guerrero, and they bring Eddie’s name back in, nothing extreme, but seemingly necessary for the storyline. Teddy agrees to interview Vickie.
Smackdown reminds us that it sucks being Mr. Kennedy. Then they talk to Ashley. She’s been raiding Matt Striker’s wardrobe. Oh dear, this is an actual interview. Oooookay. She decides to take London and Kendrik’s advice, and make it on her own.
Domino (w/Deuce & Cherry) vs. Paul London (w/Brian Kendrick): London uses his speed and agility, and forces Domino to take a break, but chasing jumping back in the ring, chasing him costs London. JBL points out the high spots costing the former champions a lot. London counters Domino’s foot into a rollup, but only 2. A stalemate with the backslide becomes a rope-walked flapjack. London shuns Deuce away and spin kicks Domino. Kendrick holds Deuce, London dropkicks, then gets the 3 on Domino.
Winner: Paul London
Kane (w/Boogeyman & Little Boogey) vs. Dave Taylor (w/William Regal): Kane slaps around the blood and tights that are blue. Taylor slips under and out, but Kane shows him the way back in. Taylor pounds back, but the ref doesn’t like it. Regal’s distractions take their toll on Kane. Taylor pounds away, but Kane works his way to a sidewalk slam. Boogey big and small keep Regal from buting in, Kane comes down, goozle, and Chokeslam for the 3.
Winner: Kane
Steel Cage –World Title Match: Undertaker © vs. Batista: The build up for this match was damn near ridiculous. Punches by both, BOOT by Undertaker. They play Batista’s new tattoo wraps as an injury. Undertaker goes after it to avoid a possible Batista Bomb. Ground n Pound for Undertaker. He dangles Batista on the top rope, Batista fights back, and drops Taker. The Animal leaps off the tope, and Taker eats shoulder. Batista motions for the door, but Taker goes back to the leg. Batista makes a run for the top, but taker sucks up the beating and prevents the escape. Batista’s pinned between the ropes and the cage. BOOT by Undertaker. Batista is back to fight, and Undertaker is dazed. Good shots by the dead man, and Batista takes pain in the corner, a snake eyes, and BOOT. GOOZLE. CHOKESLAM. The eye liner is STILL ON. 2 COUNT. Taker signals for a Tombstone. Batista’s up, but slides off the back. He drives Taker’s skull into the cage, and the champ is bleeding. Batista gets 2. 10 Count Corner Punch, then uses Taker as a ladder, BUT – LAST RIDE. 1…2…NO. He signals for the door. Taker’s crawling, but Batista grabs him. The crowd al all over this. The door closes. Take perches Batista up top, goozles, and joins Batista upstairs. Elbows by Batista, and he gets Taker down again. Batista’s on top of the cage, Taker rises. He scuttles up the cage, it’s a race. BOTH men droop to the floor. And it’s the two dumbest refs in the whole company, Baldy Mc Opossumkill and Vino Lesweatalot. Even the WWE needs instant replay. They cover the bottom of the monitors with the camera. The crowd directly behind them shout Batista, but the refs think different.
Winner: Draw. Undertaker retains.
MARK HENRY COMES TO GET HIM SOME. He goes right after Taker’s wound. Spinebuster to the post. Henry tosses Taker in. SPLASH. AND AGAIN. He backs up when the refs tell him to. And then…..
“On This Day, I see clearly….” EDGE IS CASHING IT IN BABY!!!!
World Heavyweight Title match – Undertaker © vs. Edge:
The ref accepts the briefcase and this match is now official. The ref is reluctant, but he calls for the bell. Edge covers – 1..2..TAKER IS BACK. Another 2 count, but again Taker isn’t finished. He tries to rise, but he needs help from the ropes. This gives Edge all the time in the world. SPEAR. 1…2…3!!!!
Winner: …and NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWd WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION – EDGE ©
Taker slowly gets up. Edge returns to the ring – briefcase to the face. Taker stays down. Edge stands strong.
Thoughts: Wow, one women’s match that didn’t suck, and one that wasn’t bad at all, but Smackdown’s Divas have always been slightly ahead of Raw’s. Freakin Deacon is a Hillbilly. Ashley split with London and Kendrick. Why the hell didn’t they use my monage tois idea? Oh well. Less weight for the future tag champs London and Kendrick. Tonight saw the best cage match in a long time, with a so so ending. And Edge once again proves why he reigns. All he had to do was show up, work for about 10 minutes, and the night is all about him. Not really, but YEAH it is.