sherlockbones
04-18-2007, 05:07 PM
well, i just lost one. one of my best. kinda hard to deal with these feelings. anger, shame, helplessness, self-hating for being to naive...
you know, i have friends with the most opposite social background as you could imagine, so i am some what used to drug careers in friendships, but this guy, man i knew he had been an addict for 6 years but i was so sure he was handeling it, so it seems like i totally blinded myself and was unaware of his real situation.
he had been building himself a career as an event manager in a quite decent firm and was doing his therapy simultaniouly. or so i believed.
two weeks ago he returned from visiting his parents in moscow and we were planing to spend the evening with having some beer and watching a movie afterwards.
i went to meet him at the bar when things went strange. he called and told that he had trouble with his girlfriend and that he was unable to come. i had been waiting for about 30 minutes at this point so i was a little pissed.
i told him that we (my gf and me) would watch the movie anyway and if heīd decide to join in later he should feel free to join. he answered theyīd solve their problems most likely and that we shouldnīt worry.
heīd drop in later...
i tried to call him three times while watching the movie and decided that everything would be alright...until his father called me on monday and told me that he was found dead in his apartment.
he killed himself with an overdose the same evening.
drug addicts are such good damn liars. i was the last person he talked to and i bought his optimistic "itīs all ok" blabla
his parents told me on his funeral that he wasnīt even visiting them in russia, but he had been spending that time in a special medical facility in an attempt to get rid of the drug. they said he hadnīt told me cause he was too ashamed cause he had always assured me he was getting better.
what can i say? i feel stupid, cheat and guilty and angry that such a fine person died to such a stupid thing. he was one of the finest person i ever knew, even if am learning more and more about his double life that he was living.
he masked himself pretty good, part of me is telling you this to warn. this is not just happening to the uneducated people. his father is a respected professor for eastern european history and was building up a new institute in moscow at that time, his godfather led goethe-institute facilities at some time and his sister is a surgeon. his mother is an awesome person of great personal strength.
guess itīll take some time till i am over this, but let me advice you never to let your friend in trouble let you be shut out. they might be to proud to let you help them.
(not)only the good die young
you know, i have friends with the most opposite social background as you could imagine, so i am some what used to drug careers in friendships, but this guy, man i knew he had been an addict for 6 years but i was so sure he was handeling it, so it seems like i totally blinded myself and was unaware of his real situation.
he had been building himself a career as an event manager in a quite decent firm and was doing his therapy simultaniouly. or so i believed.
two weeks ago he returned from visiting his parents in moscow and we were planing to spend the evening with having some beer and watching a movie afterwards.
i went to meet him at the bar when things went strange. he called and told that he had trouble with his girlfriend and that he was unable to come. i had been waiting for about 30 minutes at this point so i was a little pissed.
i told him that we (my gf and me) would watch the movie anyway and if heīd decide to join in later he should feel free to join. he answered theyīd solve their problems most likely and that we shouldnīt worry.
heīd drop in later...
i tried to call him three times while watching the movie and decided that everything would be alright...until his father called me on monday and told me that he was found dead in his apartment.
he killed himself with an overdose the same evening.
drug addicts are such good damn liars. i was the last person he talked to and i bought his optimistic "itīs all ok" blabla
his parents told me on his funeral that he wasnīt even visiting them in russia, but he had been spending that time in a special medical facility in an attempt to get rid of the drug. they said he hadnīt told me cause he was too ashamed cause he had always assured me he was getting better.
what can i say? i feel stupid, cheat and guilty and angry that such a fine person died to such a stupid thing. he was one of the finest person i ever knew, even if am learning more and more about his double life that he was living.
he masked himself pretty good, part of me is telling you this to warn. this is not just happening to the uneducated people. his father is a respected professor for eastern european history and was building up a new institute in moscow at that time, his godfather led goethe-institute facilities at some time and his sister is a surgeon. his mother is an awesome person of great personal strength.
guess itīll take some time till i am over this, but let me advice you never to let your friend in trouble let you be shut out. they might be to proud to let you help them.
(not)only the good die young