DWEarhart
03-23-2007, 08:13 PM
R.I.P. Arnold Skaaland.
Good evening, and welcome to another Smackdown Review. I’m your host, DWE. Love me, hate me, it’s all the same, and I’ll revel in all the blame.
Someone order one faux billionaire, because Vinny Mac is in the house that Rock built, tonight. He is once again promising he will shave Donald Trump’s head. Just for kicks, McMahon tosses Lashley into a match for tonight. His opponent - - KENNEDY (again). Low and behold, Lashley will be going handicap because his OTHER opponent for tonight is - - Randal Orton. Kennedy’s trying to hog the spotlight, but Vince reminds both men that Lashley has beaten them one on one, and ups the anti to a handicap TABLES match. Orton and Kennedy wearily shake hands.
Tag Team Titles Match: London & Kendrick (champs) vs MNM: Paul London and Mercury square off, but neither team wastes any time in getting all four men involved. Nitro holds Mercury, making London miss a dropkick. Mercury works on London’s lower abdomen. London catches a break and tags Kendrick in. Kendrick wipes out MNM. It looked like he was going for an acid drop on Mercury, but Nitro holds Kendrick’s feet, and screws it up. Kendrick stumbles to tag London in, but MNM maintain the advantage. Snapshot – NO, Kendrick stops it. Ashley keeps Melina from interfering, London hits a sunset flip on Mercury for the 1…2…3.
Winners and STILL Tag Team champs: London & Kendrick.
Krystal talks to Kane. We get snapshots of Kane’s handiwork on Daivari; bruised and possibly bloody. Kane says he’s ready to go ALL the way with Khali at Wrestlemania. He shows off his bloody hook.
If I were Maryse, I’d be stir crazy having been locked up in that bedroom this whole time.
Chavo Guerrero (Cruiserweight Champion) vs Jimmy Wang Yang: Non-Title: Chavo sneaks his way to an advantage. Wang Yang chin kicks Chavo from the top, Wang Yang has happy feet; he kick flips and Chavo and boots him out of the ring, following it up with a baseball slide. Chavo counters Yang’s wonderfully high top rope attempt with an equally high dropkick. Chavo follows up, but only gets a 2. Chavo works the crossbow, and a clothesline to the resurging Yang. Chavo puts pressure on Yang’s left shoulder. Yang comes back, and keeps putting Chavo on the ground. Chavo ducks a spinkick and shades of the Three Amigos on Yang. Yang moves out of Chavo’s top rope attempt, and Yang hits that oh so beautiful moonsault of his for the 1…2…3.
Winner: Jimmy Wang Yang.
We are graced with a tribute to the late great “Golden Boy” Arnold Skaaland.
We are shown a preview of Stone Cold’s new film “The Condemned.” In 2009, expect a multi-WWE superstar film, no joke. At least until it gets made.
MVP has pyro now. Time to work the mic. He introduces his opponent.
MVP vs The Lichtenstein Champion: Cedrick Van Haussen. Non-title match: MVP greets the foreigner with a clothesline, and a bodyslam. Jumpshot drop on the chocolate lover. He covers the man, but pulls him up at 2 so he may continue his diplomatic assault. He hits the Playmaker, and that is it.
Winner: MVP
More mic time for the prime-time diamond; he promises to take the U.S. title from Benoit at Wrestlemania.
Orton and Kennedy like wood.
Handicap Tables Match: Randy Orton & Mr. Kennedy vs Bobby Lashley:
Man, Lashley’s pyro is much more intimidating on Smackdown. Lashley dominates both men. Orton gains control, but is tossed out. Kennedy is all alone. He takes some bumps, but gives some back. He works Lashley’s left knee. Orton drags Lashley outside. Back in, Lashley continues to punk both men out. Lashley rushes a cornered Orton, but Kennedy yanks his partner out of the way. Lashley, steel post – steel post, Lashley. It’s blood in the water for the two tattooed wing backs. Orton gets a table. Lashley’s propped up on to the table, but rolls off before Kennedy comes down off the top. Both men wear down Lashley some more. Kennedy gets table #2, while Orton works Kennedy over. Lashley comes back while Kennedy sets up table #2 in the far corner. Lashley delivers post to post whoopings. Kennedy catches him off guard, but it’s not enough. Lashley tosses Kennedy through table #2, Orton gets the Dominator through table #1. McMahon takes a rage dump in his pants.
Winner: Bobby Lashley
Krystal talks to Batista. Batista seems clueless of his whereabouts.
Chris Benoit (U.S. Champ) vs Gregory Helms: Non-title: This is the guy that Benoit should be defending the title against at Wrestlemania; just my opinion. Benoit goes on a rampage against Helms. Helms finds his opening and gets Benoit outside; over the top and onto Benoit goes Helms. He chokes Benoit on the bottom rope, and a slingshot, taking Benoit’s throat to the second rope. Helms is in his guard, containing the rabid wolverine, but Benoit’s back to chopping down the former cruiserweight champion. Helms blocks a German, only for Benoit to nail the Northern Lights suplex, and a German trifecta on Helms. Benoit’s up top – Diving Headbutt. Helms pops up, Benoit brings him back down with the Crossface. Tap, tap, tap.
Winner: Chris Benoit.
JBL has something to do.
New Hall of Fame Inductees: Afa and Sika, THE WILD SAMOANS!!! Damn, these guys share lineage throughout WWE history.
Teddy Long is making nice with Krystal. JBL busts up the party. JBL has a proposition for Mr. Long. JBL wants to interview Batista and the Undertaker. Tabernacle.
Quick cut to King Booker and Finlay attacking Batista. They eff him up.
Batista & The Undertaker vs King Booker & Finlay: Batista does not make it to the ring. Undertaker’s virtually in a handicap match. Doesn’t seem to matter; the deadman rides roughshot over both heels
I’ve been denying this because for my taste she’s too skinny, but RGX Bodyspray spokesgirl = DAMN, with a side of yummm.
King Booker throws Undertaker off track, and quickly sustains the momentum. Fist sandwiches for the deadman, and a hell kick. Finlay tags in; he continues the assault. Still no Batista. King Booker is back in. he works Undertaker’s ribs and kidneys. Knees to Undertaker’s skull, and a kick, a cover; only 2. Finlay tags, he mauls Undertaker’s ribs. Finlay bungles what looked to be and STF. They roll, and fists to Finlays head courtesy of Undertaker. King Booker saves Finlay and tags in. He takes down Taker for a 2 count.
Triangle choke by Taker onto King Booker; Finlay breaks it up. Finlays officially inj. He Taker trade blows, Taker counters an irish whip off the ropes with a DDT. Neither man is moving, the ref starts to count. Finlay tags in the King. Taker gains a new wind, Snake Eyes to the King, Finlay gets the DQ, using the shillelagh. Both men beat down Undertaker some more.
Winner by DQ: The Undertaker.
Batista’s music hits and The Animal is in the ring. Spinebusters and Spears. Taker evens up the odds. Finlay goes up for the last ride, and Batista THROWS KING BOOKER INTO UNDERTAKER. It’s all about payback.
We are out.
Thoughts: Everything kind of seemed like filler material tonight. Yang and Chavo put on a nice match with some adequate spots. I just wonder if Yang gets his title shot next week or at Wrestlemania. The tables match was another push for Lashley. For whatever reason, Kennedy and Orton just didn’t look good together. Any other night a Benoit/Helms match could be killer, but Helms had to be fed to the wolverine, especially after Monday. Batista’s getting booed when he punks out the deadman, while Undertaker seems infallible. This could work, but I expect their Wrestlemania match to only last about 15 minutes. I just really don’t see Taker’s streak being broken this year.
Good evening, and welcome to another Smackdown Review. I’m your host, DWE. Love me, hate me, it’s all the same, and I’ll revel in all the blame.
Someone order one faux billionaire, because Vinny Mac is in the house that Rock built, tonight. He is once again promising he will shave Donald Trump’s head. Just for kicks, McMahon tosses Lashley into a match for tonight. His opponent - - KENNEDY (again). Low and behold, Lashley will be going handicap because his OTHER opponent for tonight is - - Randal Orton. Kennedy’s trying to hog the spotlight, but Vince reminds both men that Lashley has beaten them one on one, and ups the anti to a handicap TABLES match. Orton and Kennedy wearily shake hands.
Tag Team Titles Match: London & Kendrick (champs) vs MNM: Paul London and Mercury square off, but neither team wastes any time in getting all four men involved. Nitro holds Mercury, making London miss a dropkick. Mercury works on London’s lower abdomen. London catches a break and tags Kendrick in. Kendrick wipes out MNM. It looked like he was going for an acid drop on Mercury, but Nitro holds Kendrick’s feet, and screws it up. Kendrick stumbles to tag London in, but MNM maintain the advantage. Snapshot – NO, Kendrick stops it. Ashley keeps Melina from interfering, London hits a sunset flip on Mercury for the 1…2…3.
Winners and STILL Tag Team champs: London & Kendrick.
Krystal talks to Kane. We get snapshots of Kane’s handiwork on Daivari; bruised and possibly bloody. Kane says he’s ready to go ALL the way with Khali at Wrestlemania. He shows off his bloody hook.
If I were Maryse, I’d be stir crazy having been locked up in that bedroom this whole time.
Chavo Guerrero (Cruiserweight Champion) vs Jimmy Wang Yang: Non-Title: Chavo sneaks his way to an advantage. Wang Yang chin kicks Chavo from the top, Wang Yang has happy feet; he kick flips and Chavo and boots him out of the ring, following it up with a baseball slide. Chavo counters Yang’s wonderfully high top rope attempt with an equally high dropkick. Chavo follows up, but only gets a 2. Chavo works the crossbow, and a clothesline to the resurging Yang. Chavo puts pressure on Yang’s left shoulder. Yang comes back, and keeps putting Chavo on the ground. Chavo ducks a spinkick and shades of the Three Amigos on Yang. Yang moves out of Chavo’s top rope attempt, and Yang hits that oh so beautiful moonsault of his for the 1…2…3.
Winner: Jimmy Wang Yang.
We are graced with a tribute to the late great “Golden Boy” Arnold Skaaland.
We are shown a preview of Stone Cold’s new film “The Condemned.” In 2009, expect a multi-WWE superstar film, no joke. At least until it gets made.
MVP has pyro now. Time to work the mic. He introduces his opponent.
MVP vs The Lichtenstein Champion: Cedrick Van Haussen. Non-title match: MVP greets the foreigner with a clothesline, and a bodyslam. Jumpshot drop on the chocolate lover. He covers the man, but pulls him up at 2 so he may continue his diplomatic assault. He hits the Playmaker, and that is it.
Winner: MVP
More mic time for the prime-time diamond; he promises to take the U.S. title from Benoit at Wrestlemania.
Orton and Kennedy like wood.
Handicap Tables Match: Randy Orton & Mr. Kennedy vs Bobby Lashley:
Man, Lashley’s pyro is much more intimidating on Smackdown. Lashley dominates both men. Orton gains control, but is tossed out. Kennedy is all alone. He takes some bumps, but gives some back. He works Lashley’s left knee. Orton drags Lashley outside. Back in, Lashley continues to punk both men out. Lashley rushes a cornered Orton, but Kennedy yanks his partner out of the way. Lashley, steel post – steel post, Lashley. It’s blood in the water for the two tattooed wing backs. Orton gets a table. Lashley’s propped up on to the table, but rolls off before Kennedy comes down off the top. Both men wear down Lashley some more. Kennedy gets table #2, while Orton works Kennedy over. Lashley comes back while Kennedy sets up table #2 in the far corner. Lashley delivers post to post whoopings. Kennedy catches him off guard, but it’s not enough. Lashley tosses Kennedy through table #2, Orton gets the Dominator through table #1. McMahon takes a rage dump in his pants.
Winner: Bobby Lashley
Krystal talks to Batista. Batista seems clueless of his whereabouts.
Chris Benoit (U.S. Champ) vs Gregory Helms: Non-title: This is the guy that Benoit should be defending the title against at Wrestlemania; just my opinion. Benoit goes on a rampage against Helms. Helms finds his opening and gets Benoit outside; over the top and onto Benoit goes Helms. He chokes Benoit on the bottom rope, and a slingshot, taking Benoit’s throat to the second rope. Helms is in his guard, containing the rabid wolverine, but Benoit’s back to chopping down the former cruiserweight champion. Helms blocks a German, only for Benoit to nail the Northern Lights suplex, and a German trifecta on Helms. Benoit’s up top – Diving Headbutt. Helms pops up, Benoit brings him back down with the Crossface. Tap, tap, tap.
Winner: Chris Benoit.
JBL has something to do.
New Hall of Fame Inductees: Afa and Sika, THE WILD SAMOANS!!! Damn, these guys share lineage throughout WWE history.
Teddy Long is making nice with Krystal. JBL busts up the party. JBL has a proposition for Mr. Long. JBL wants to interview Batista and the Undertaker. Tabernacle.
Quick cut to King Booker and Finlay attacking Batista. They eff him up.
Batista & The Undertaker vs King Booker & Finlay: Batista does not make it to the ring. Undertaker’s virtually in a handicap match. Doesn’t seem to matter; the deadman rides roughshot over both heels
I’ve been denying this because for my taste she’s too skinny, but RGX Bodyspray spokesgirl = DAMN, with a side of yummm.
King Booker throws Undertaker off track, and quickly sustains the momentum. Fist sandwiches for the deadman, and a hell kick. Finlay tags in; he continues the assault. Still no Batista. King Booker is back in. he works Undertaker’s ribs and kidneys. Knees to Undertaker’s skull, and a kick, a cover; only 2. Finlay tags, he mauls Undertaker’s ribs. Finlay bungles what looked to be and STF. They roll, and fists to Finlays head courtesy of Undertaker. King Booker saves Finlay and tags in. He takes down Taker for a 2 count.
Triangle choke by Taker onto King Booker; Finlay breaks it up. Finlays officially inj. He Taker trade blows, Taker counters an irish whip off the ropes with a DDT. Neither man is moving, the ref starts to count. Finlay tags in the King. Taker gains a new wind, Snake Eyes to the King, Finlay gets the DQ, using the shillelagh. Both men beat down Undertaker some more.
Winner by DQ: The Undertaker.
Batista’s music hits and The Animal is in the ring. Spinebusters and Spears. Taker evens up the odds. Finlay goes up for the last ride, and Batista THROWS KING BOOKER INTO UNDERTAKER. It’s all about payback.
We are out.
Thoughts: Everything kind of seemed like filler material tonight. Yang and Chavo put on a nice match with some adequate spots. I just wonder if Yang gets his title shot next week or at Wrestlemania. The tables match was another push for Lashley. For whatever reason, Kennedy and Orton just didn’t look good together. Any other night a Benoit/Helms match could be killer, but Helms had to be fed to the wolverine, especially after Monday. Batista’s getting booed when he punks out the deadman, while Undertaker seems infallible. This could work, but I expect their Wrestlemania match to only last about 15 minutes. I just really don’t see Taker’s streak being broken this year.