Am I still in Junior High or something?

[Tages]

I could have sworn I'd matured more than this. Apparently not.

So, for the last couple of weeks my friend James has said that for his birthday he's going to cook dinner for family and close friends, only specifying to me the day and time (which would be later today) last night. I've known James for seven years and count him as my second best friend behind his brother Mike.

Problem being, I stupidly agreed to plans tonight without checking with him on his birthday shindig with Kara. You may remember her as the girl from several months back who "Just Friends"ed me, who just before had flipped out because I got cross at her for not calling to tell me she wasn't coming to a party to which I was her ride. So, really, her plans came first, but I've known James longer, and it's his birthday.

This is the part where I stupidly assume that people are rational and bring this dilemma up with both of them. James is rather nonchalant about it, and said I could invite her to the dinner if I'd like.

Kara, on the other hand, just left me a voicemail saying that I did make plans with her "last week" (actually on Monday) and that I shouldn't even be considering this thing with James (that last part is not an exagerration, she does say this), that I should tell James I'll do something for him some other time and go with her. She doesn't want to come with me because she has some germ phobia about eating at other peoples' houses (huh?). But the kicker is the part where she brings up a note she wrote me last week where she stated that she was tired of me ignoring her when "I've practically begged you to call me" (it's true I've been avoiding her, but I've been avoiding everyone, due to my family situation, and with our work schedules our days off never coincide) and she claims that she's the only one who asks me about my life (not true) and that she's supposed to be my best friend after Mike (um, no, I've known James since I moved here, for that matter I've known almost every person at this dinner longer than her, and the majority of them have never tried pulling half the shit she has).

So, the kicker to the kicker? "If you cancel on me, FYI, I'm going to be pissed. I'm not going to talk to you. OK? Call me back in the next ten minutes. Bye."

You know, it's a true friend that gives ultimatums.

I'm pissed at her right now. However, historically speaking it's a bad idea for me to act when I'm angry, as it tends to make the situation worse 100% of the time. This is some stupid crap she's trying here. I'm beginning to wonder exactly why I'm friends with her in the first place.

So, any suggestions on how to handle this without producing more drama?

[i_mmmchocolate]

So, any suggestions on how to handle this without producing more drama?
Don't talk to her for a while. Let time pass.

[Tages]

Don't talk to her for a while. Let time pass.

Oh, that's a given. But the question is what do I do about it today.

I'm not sure if not answering my phone gives the message I want to conveigh.

[parrish]

Apologize to her for making plans, but remind her that it is your friends birthday.

If she is drawing a line in the sand about it (it seems like that's what you're saying) then maybe this isn't a friendship worth having.

[Tages]

Apologize to her for making plans, but remind her that it is your friends birthday.

If she is drawing a line in the sand about it (it seems like that's what you're saying) then maybe this isn't a friendship worth having.

I'm beginning to have those same thoughts.

Right now I'm attempting to find a way to express to her that she's out of her mind if she expects me to accept this kind of behavior without worsening the situation and getting me screamed at.

[parrish]

Right now I'm attempting to find a way to express to her that she's out of her mind if she expects me to accept this kind of behavior without worsening the situation and getting me screamed at.

There you go...if you know she will respond that way then let it go. It does sound like high school.

[Matt Algren]

"Look, bitch, I'm tired of your . . ."

Oh. You want a real answer. Renew your invitation for her to come with you, and tell her that it's improtant to James that you be there tonight, and that you hope she'll consider coming. Train leaves at 7:00.

Incidentally, if she were your girlfriend, I might give a different answer. As it is, she's a friend making unrealistic demands.

[Ed Cunard]

"Look, bitch, I'm tired of your . . ."

Oh. You want a real answer. Renew your invitation for her to come with you, and tell her that it's improtant to James that you be there tonight, and that you hope she'll consider coming. Train leaves at 7:00.

Incidentally, if she were your girlfriend, I might give a different answer. As it is, she's a friend making unrealistic demands.

Give her the "if I don't get laid, you don't get to boss me around" ultimatum. Embrace the inner prick.

Of course, if you do that, you'll likely embrace the outer prick for a while, too.

Honestly, though, this girl is bad news.

[Winslow]

Honestly, though, this girl is bad news.

Sounds like the voice of experience . . .

Like I said in Rita's, you need to take a stand. You don't have to be nasty about it . . but she has to deal with the fact that you have a life, and it doesn't revolve around her.

[Dom]

Ice T said it best.

"Don't sweat the pussy, let the pussy sweat you"

Go to dinner with James, and if she has a problem with that, she clearly has a problem with you.

[Matt Algren]

Even considering the further details you posted in Rita's, she's asking you to act like her boyfriend when it suits her needs and to act like just a friend when it doesn't.

That's not fair to either of you.

[Tages]

Well apparently I'm the world's biggest asshole for doing this to her and she and I aren't friends anymore because now she has nothing to do tonight.

[Matt Algren]

Well apparently I'm the world's biggest asshole for doing this to her and she and I aren't friends anymore because now she has nothing to do tonight.
You are not her boyfriend. You also are not her girl friend.

[Winslow]

Well apparently I'm the world's biggest asshole for doing this to her and she and I aren't friends anymore because now she has nothing to do tonight.

Get back at her by having fun tonight.

She has some "issues" obviously.

[Justin Davis]

Give her the "if I don't get laid, you don't get to boss me around" ultimatum. Embrace the inner prick.

Of course, if you do that, you'll likely embrace the outer prick for a while, too.

Honestly, though, this girl is bad news.

What he said. This girl wants to have a boyfriend without having a boyfriend. I've been called pussywhipped before. My reply is always, "If I had to choose something to whipped by, that'd be it." However, that saying doesn't apply here because there's no benefits to the whipping.

Tell her you don't appreciate the ultimatum. You wouldn't give one to her or other people you consider friends and don't expect they'd give one to you. Then, make the comment that Ed makes above. If she gets pissed off, she has no sense of humor and is a poo person.

[GozertheGozarian]

Well apparently I'm the world's biggest asshole for doing this to her and she and I aren't friends anymore because now she has nothing to do tonight.
To be honest, she has something to do, she just won't.

[Justin Davis]

Well apparently I'm the world's biggest asshole for doing this to her and she and I aren't friends anymore because now she has nothing to do tonight.

Awesome. You have a story to tell at the party tonight.

[Sgt. Preston]

Well apparently I'm the world's biggest asshole for doing this to her and she and I aren't friends anymore because now she has nothing to do tonight.

You are not her boyfriend.

And if she's this bad now, imagine how bad she'll be when she is your girlfriend. Insecurities abound which consistently places you in "no win" situations. Your friend's birthday provides you the luxury of avoiding further trouble in the future with this woman, and allows you to spend time with someone that actually values you. Look away from the light!

[Winslow]

It DOES suck when people you care about call you an ass hole.

Hope it doesn't ruin your evening.

[StoneGold]

Three simple words: bros before hoes.


Seriously though, this girl has you hung up on the thought of maybe, just maybe someday getting some. Which odds are, you won't. And if you did, you'd probably be in bigger trouble anyways.


Like the man said, RUN!!! RUN!!!

[SUPERECWFAN1]

She should realize that its his freakin Birthday and he's a friend. Ask her how she would blow off a pal on his B-Day and see how she responds.

[Michael P]

You may not be in junior high, but it sure sounds like she is.

[Tages]

Yeah, she's trying to guilt trip me into skipping doing something with her after rejecting my offer of a raincheck.

I am a magnet for wonderful personalities.

[Athena Bast]

Tell her to unclench and you'll bring her a doggie bag.

Don't let her start her manipulations because it will only escalate and then you'll be trapped and then it gets very messy when we go to hide the body.

[Slam_Bradley]

It DOES suck when people you care about call you an ass hole.



Really?

Because it happens to me all the time.

Of course they're right.

But still.

[Gumbo Maximillian]

Sounds like the girl has some serious issues here; maybe even potentially bad "stalker" issue kinds but I don't know her personally so I couldn't say for sure.

[parrish]

You may remember her as the girl from several months back who "Just Friends"ed me, who just before had flipped out because I got cross at her for not calling to tell me she wasn't coming to a party to which I was her ride.

Well, her "just friends"ing you sounds like it was blessing in disguise from what you've said about her.

[Athena Bast]

Sounds like the girl has some serious issues here; maybe even potentially bad "stalker" issue kinds but I don't know her personally so I couldn't say for sure.

Leaning towards psychopathic

[StoneGold]

Women like her is the reason god created the ability to create disfiguring facial scars.

[Winslow]

Really?

Because it happens to me all the time.

Of course they're right.

But still.

It's bizness, Slam, strictly bizness . . . .

[Donald M.]

Well apparently I'm the world's biggest asshole for doing this to her and she and I aren't friends anymore because now she has nothing to do tonight.

Nothing to do on a Thursday night? What a tragedy. Clearly you should blow off your friend's birthday so this poor woman needn't suffer such a fate.

Seriously though, to echo everyone else, this crazy dame ain't worth your time. You must have better things to do with people who aren't insane.

[K'Nort]

Renew your invitation for her to come with you, and tell her that it's improtant to James that you be there tonight, and that you hope she'll consider coming. Train leaves at 7:00.

Incidentally, if she were your girlfriend, I might give a different answer. As it is, she's a friend making unrealistic demands.

I'm not so sure you should. Speaking as a girlfriend, that would excuse nothing.

[StoneGold]

You know what? This sounds like the perfect excuse for a cross country trip. Load up the rubber tubing and the diapers, just hit the road.

[Rallura]

Say the word, I will kick her ass.


Also, we need to have dinner one of these days. grand sierra buffet maybe?

[Puma]

Say the word, I will kick her ass.


Also, we need to have dinner one of these days. grand sierra buffet maybe?

ohhh, Rally ass-whuppins....haven't seen one of those in a long time.

[Rallura]

ohhh, Rally ass-whuppins....haven't seen one of those in a long time.


New and improved even, since those cortisone shots in the knees, I can literally kick people!

[Puma]

New and improved even, since those cortisone shots in the knees, I can literally kick people!

whoo, and may I say, hoo!

[Alex L]

Nothing to do on a Thursday night? What a tragedy. Clearly you should blow off your friend's birthday so this poor woman needn't suffer such a fate.

Like Gozer said, she could have had something to do, she just didn't wanna.

...though she might not want to show up at a party as Tages' "+1," which could give off a significant-other vibe which she doesn't want.

[Adam West]

Tell her you'll ditch your plan with James only she sleeps with you.
As a man James will understand if you change plans because of sex..

[Sir Tim Drake]

Well apparently I'm the world's biggest asshole for doing this to her and she and I aren't friends anymore because now she has nothing to do tonight.

If I were you, I wouldn't waste any more time on her. Real friends don't treat their friends like this.

[howyadoin]

So, any suggestions on how to handle this without producing more drama?Punch in the face?

You are not her boyfriend. You also are not her girl friend.This is good advice.

However, that saying doesn't apply here because there's no benefits to the whipping.All whipping and no pussy makes Homer something something.

[Fabian]

Am I the only one waiting to see what happened?

ohhh, Rally ass-whuppins....haven't seen one of those in a long time.

Well I have been posting less and I doubt that's a coincidence.

[Tages]

Am I the only one waiting to see what happened?

I told her I'd talk to her when she calmed down (when she was hysterically crying and telling me I was awful for ruining her plans and we can't be friends anymore). Since then, nothing.

Had a great time at the dinner though. Ate myself five years off of my life.

[Tages]

Say the word, I will kick her ass.


Also, we need to have dinner one of these days. grand sierra buffet maybe?

This is my response to that post:

"Grand Sierra? What's she talking abo-oh!"

I've been continuing to call it the Hilton for months.

And yes, that would be quite jaw. Preferably a Thursday or Friday. And the offer of asskicking is also appreciated.

[thehod]

Someone needs to grow up and realise that the world doesn't revolve around them.


Actually, there are a fair number of people who need to do that.

[Winslow]

Had a great time at the dinner though. Ate myself five years off of my life.

Awesome.

Best possible response I could think of to all this drama.

[Rallura]

This is my response to that post:

"Grand Sierra? What's she talking abo-oh!"

I've been continuing to call it the Hilton for months.

And yes, that would be quite jaw. Preferably a Thursday or Friday. And the offer of asskicking is also appreciated.

BB is going to be busy weekdays the rest of the month with rehearsals. But after the first week in March we could do it since there's no Thursday performances.

[howyadoin]

she was hysterically crying and telling me I was awful for ruining her plans and we can't be friends anymoreYup. That's a non-sexual girlfriend.