My friend died today

[lalalei2001]

Today my friend Christian died at about 1:30 in the afternoon. I don't know how or why.

I should probably be sad right now but I'm not. I accept the fact that he died...I guess I skipped the 'denial' stage of grief.

I feel nothing, except a little empty inside. I have not cried yet, but my eyes have watered cause they were dry.

RIP my friend Christian.

[hoffmandu]

Today my friend Christian died at about 1:30 in the afternoon. I don't know how or why.

I should probably be sad right now but I'm not. I accept the fact that he died...I guess I skipped the 'denial' stage of grief.

I feel nothing, except a little empty inside. I have not cried yet, but my eyes have watered cause they were dry.

RIP my friend Christian.

Yikes, my sympathies. How old?

[lalalei2001]

15. The same age as me.

[Captain_Video]

I offer my sincere condolences, for what it is worth.

[hoffmandu]

Well, try to keep your head up, man.

[Merey]

Sounds like you're in shock, lalalei2001. Hang in there. My condolences.

[Aaron Kashtan]

How awful. You have my sincere condolences.

[Mike Smash!]

Today my friend Christian died at about 1:30 in the afternoon. I don't know how or why.

I should probably be sad right now but I'm not. I accept the fact that he died...I guess I skipped the 'denial' stage of grief.

I feel nothing, except a little empty inside. I have not cried yet, but my eyes have watered cause they were dry.

RIP my friend Christian.

My condolences. And don't feel any pressure to feel a certain way or feel guilty for it. It'll come when it does.

Stay strong.

[Cyke]

My condolences :(

[Winslow]

That's very tragic.

I'm sorry.

[howyadoin]

Shit, that's way too young. My sympathies.

[Nikita]

Today my friend Christian died at about 1:30 in the afternoon. I don't know how or why.

I should probably be sad right now but I'm not. I accept the fact that he died...I guess I skipped the 'denial' stage of grief.

I feel nothing, except a little empty inside. I have not cried yet, but my eyes have watered cause they were dry.

RIP my friend Christian.



My sympathies lalalei. Sorry to hear that.

[lalalei2001]

I posted the news of Christian's death all over the Internet...I even emailed my favorite mellow traumatic singer, Hannah Fury, about it.

And she wrote back...here's her letter. It soothes me, like her music does...



Amy,

I am so sorry. I feel very strongly that your friend is okay.

In 2003 my first love, Alan, died. I think I was sadder than I'd ever been in my life. and I miss him every single day of my life.

During that time, I wrote a lot of songs (some of which will be on my next album). I think the songs were hints. And it seems to me that the universe is so complex -- we only know a small part of it during our lives.

I don't know it for sure (because I don't know ANYTHING for sure), but I think your friend is a part of the web, seeing and hearing everything, knowing everything (knowing how you feel), and that he is able to be anyplace and in any "TIME" he wants.

I don't think you need to worry about him, but I do think it's okay for you to be sad for YOU, and to miss him. When you are ready to feel it. And if you're not sad, it's probably because you know and believe that he is okay. There is nothing wrong with that. Acceptance is good and right.

I also think, though I can't say that I KNOW, that you will see him again someday. In some way that you can't even imagine. No living being can imagine it. No religion can describe it. No science can explain it . And no art can show it. But you can see signs of it (and him) everywhere if you open yourself to notice them.

I don't think there are any answers anywhere, but the mystery can be very beautiful.

You are a sweetheart to let my music soothe you.

Love,
Hannah

[Ontir]

Amy, I'm very sorry to hear this. 15 is far too young.

I lost an Uncle in October, and my Dad in December, and the only words which really meant anything to me, are "This f:eek:king sucks!"

Don't worry if you haven't cried yet. There's no right or wrong way to grieve, just take it as it comes, and do what you need to do, to get through it. There are times when you'll feel fine, and others when you thought you were OK, and an ad for a movie, or something really innocuous, will suddenly have you in tears. Just roll with it, and you'll be fine.

[DennyK]

Damn, that's sad news. R.I.P. Christian

[stealthwise]

Condolences as well.

Take some time to reflect.

[GloryQuest]

:(

My condolences to you, too.

[RickThunderclees]

Shit, that's way too young. My sympathies.

Agreed, 15 is way to young. My thoughts go out to you and Christian's family man.

In Metta,

_bar

[Karl O'Neill]

sorry to hear this news.

[Deus ex Chris]

I'm sorry to hear this news as well, but I think it's great that you're talking about it. My dad died when I was 16, and I learned fairly quickly that keeping my thoughts and feelings bottled up wasn't a good idea. Grief tends to fester when not dealt with, so just be sure you deal with it, and while I'm no expert, I do understand dealing with death at that age, so if you want to talk or have questions, feel free to PM me. Of course, Kramer would probably be a better one to talk to, but I'm here.

[The Comic Book Guy]

It's never easy loosing a friend.

When I was sixteen I met a guy named Mike. He was funny as hell, always joking and full of life. He and I, and my other friends all hit it off. We almost literally went everywhere together, spent all of our time together. Thing is Mike was gay, and openly so, so his family (which were members of the Nation of Islam) pretty much hated him, and so did a helluva lot of the people at school. And when they'd bully him he wouldn't fight back. Which pissed me off, so I ended up getting into I don't know how many fights sticking up for him. Hell, he was my brother.

All of us remained close after high school and into college. He went into the Navy, I went into the Army. I didn't see him for a while. Anyway, he was diagnosed with HIV in the middle 90s. I found him at the VA hospital here in Fresno in '96. I don't know how long he'd been there, but he was pretty sick. His family hadn't visited him. Nobody had.

I took time every day for weeks to see him and remind him that he still had at least one brother left. During my last visit, he was really bad. The doctors didn't expect him to last through the weekend. He had told me he was afraid to die alone, so I asked if I could stay the night. He passed away just before dawn the next morning.

I cried like a baby when he died. It was the first time someone really close to me had died. Since then I've lost my dad, my mom, my step-dad, my grandmother. The sense of loss never totally leaves. At least it hasn't for me.
But in time, you learn to function again. To push the pain away, because you know that's what the person you loved and lost would want.