An idea for a comic book

[captain_unimpressive]

Okay, since I've seen several of these lately, I thought I'd try my own.

Dragoon:
Michael McCoy is an average kid being raised by his grandfather, a retired adventurer a la Indiana Jones. In this universe, superpowers are bestowed almost exclusively by the Logos, medallions which change a person's physiology. Created by a group of ancient cosmic beings, these objects are typically well-kept, but since there isn't any regulation by their creators, they can fall into the wrong hands.
One day, the young Michael finds a medal. Bestowed upon him are the powers of "shadow and light"--powers which he will not comprehend until much later in life. He accepts, but when he arrives home, his grandfather takes the medal and locks it away, never letting him access the power again.
One day, years later, his grandfather comes out of retirement for one final expedition: a trip to South American ruins. However, he goes missing, and eventually is presumed dead.
Michael, now in his late teens, receives a generous inheritance, including two of the grandfather's posessions: a nigh-unbreakable sword, and the Logos.
Now, in order to honor his grandfather's legacy, he becomes a hero, and takes on the name inscribed upon the medal: the Dragoon.

This is just an origin story, but are there any suggestions?
Any criticism? Anyone going to tell me if I inadvertently ripped anything off?

[666MasterOfPuppets]

Dude, the only thing I have to tell you is that this sounds really, really effin' COOL.

Perhaps the kid's grandfather went to South America in order to find something more about that (or those) medallion(s)? And suddenly he was kidnapped by some dark group trying to obtain them all?

And one question: you say in the end that the kid honors his father's legacy. Wouldn't that be his grandfather? Or is there something about the kid's father that you haven't told us yet?

[Karl O'Neill]

you can use one of my created villains-

he is known as BRUTE FORCE

or try SERRATED INTELLIGENCE

[captain_unimpressive]

Dude, the only thing I have to tell you is that this sounds really, really effin' COOL.

Perhaps the kid's grandfather went to South America in order to find something more about that (or those) medallion(s)? And suddenly he was kidnapped by some dark group trying to obtain them all?

And one question: you say in the end that the kid honors his father's legacy. Wouldn't that be his grandfather? Or is there something about the kid's father that you haven't told us yet?

Actually, the reason that the grandfather went to South America was... well, it's simply Epic.
And I've figured out why he disappeared, too. But the first thing I thought of as I came up with it was that it sounded like a Frank Miller plot, so... it won't be pretty.

And, yes, it's the grandfather. Just a typing error. oo;
And there are many. So many that I've filled a huge list of just those who serve the new... oh, I'm giving it away, aren't I? :D
But I will be posting more of the plot, if there's enough interest.



you can use one of my created villains-

he is known as BRUTE FORCE

or try SERRATED INTELLIGENCE

That's fine, I'm using only original characters.
Like I said, I have way too many "medalists" as it is.

[666MasterOfPuppets]

Actually, the reason that the grandfather went to South America was... well, it's simply Epic.
And I've figured out why he disappeared, too. But the first thing I thought of as I came up with it was that it sounded like a Frank Miller plot, so... it won't be pretty.

And, yes, it's the grandfather. Just a typing error. oo;
And there are many. So many that I've filled a huge list of just those who serve the new... oh, I'm giving it away, aren't I? :D
But I will be posting more of the plot, if there's enough interest.


Well, I'm interested. :D

You got me hooked with this idea of yours. Please post some more details. Please???

EDIT: Frank Miller, huh? So it is going to be ugly. As long as you don't treat Big Blue like crap... ;)

[captain_unimpressive]

Well, I'm interested. :D

You got me hooked with this idea of yours. Please post some more details. Please???

EDIT: Frank Miller, huh? So it is going to be ugly. As long as you don't treat Big Blue like crap... ;)

Alright, then.
I'll get it all together.
Though I can't write everything I've thought of, since I'm the type to plan a character out very far in advance, and then there won't be anything to read.

And, yeah, it's pretty bad. He nearly kills someone over it, in fact, which leads to... once again, I'm not saying. xD I don't know why I have to make make it sound like a solicitation when I'm trying to get people to give constructive criticism, but that's how it's going to be.

[captain_unimpressive]

The Logos gives Michael accelerated reflexes and strength, though it doesn't seem to help out much at first. Ever since he was a kid, he dreamed of being one of the heroes--like the "Phenomenarch" (yes, I'm going for original names here), a titan in golden armor, royal purple cape, and a Spartan-style helmet (yes, I've drawn him, and I wish I could scan it.) Basically, he's the Superman of this world, except he is considered an actual ruler of the world's heroes (hence the "arch"), and is fully aware of it.
Though his power feels lacking, the Dragoon gets his mask and "costume" (sweatshirt and black jeans) together and starts fighting street level villains and the like--and succeeds. However, one day he is attacked by a thug who has his own medal. Beaten to a pulp, he cowers in a dark alley as the maniac raises his Logos-augmented club for one last hit. But, before he can bring it down, a flash of gold swoops past. The Phenomenarch stands there, looming over them both and holden a broken club.
He turns to Dragoon. "You get one."

And there's the second issue.

By the way, let me add two things:
The Dragoon name isn't arbitrary. There's a significance to it.
And I'll be posting some other heroes soon enough.

[666MasterOfPuppets]

"You get one"? As in one life? Or one medal?

And dude, what you just wrote absolutely ROCKS. I pretty much like the fact that he's going to learn the ropes the hard way.

[Froggy]

"You get one"? As in one life? Or one medal?

And dude, what you just wrote absolutely ROCKS. I pretty much like the fact that he's going to learn the ropes the hard way.

I think one rescue, like taht gig on family guy with spiderman and peter griffin,

but it IS cool he is goign to elarn the hard way

[666MasterOfPuppets]

I think one rescue, like taht gig on family guy with spiderman and peter griffin,

but it IS cool he is goign to elarn the hard way

Oh, it makes sense. Like "you're on your own from now on, kiddo".

[captain_unimpressive]

Oh, it makes sense. Like "you're on your own from now on, kiddo".

That's what I was going for, yeah.
But he will have some help for the first big story arc.

Anyway, what do you guys think of the Phenomenarch character?
Is the Spartan look cliched? Is the name good or terrible?

I also would want to put up a picture, since the insignia sort of sells the character, but it's hard to describe. For now, just go by last post's description.

Next post: The story's second arc, and first supervillian.

[Froggy]

That's what I was going for, yeah.
But he will have some help for the first big story arc.

Anyway, what do you guys think of the Phenomenarch character?
Is the Spartan look cliched? Is the name good or terrible?

I also would want to put up a picture, since the insignia sort of sells the character, but it's hard to describe. For now, just go by last post's description.

Next post: The story's second arc, and first supervillian. I like the SPartan look, and the name is pretty cool, i wanna hear the supervilain

[666MasterOfPuppets]

That's what I was going for, yeah.
But he will have some help for the first big story arc.

Anyway, what do you guys think of the Phenomenarch character?
Is the Spartan look cliched? Is the name good or terrible?

I also would want to put up a picture, since the insignia sort of sells the character, but it's hard to describe. For now, just go by last post's description.

Next post: The story's second arc, and first supervillian.

I like the looks of Phenomenarch. As for the name, you went nuts, and came up with something original that, to top it all, sounds cool. That's where originality comes from.

I'll be waiting for the pics.

[captain_unimpressive]

I like the looks of Phenomenarch. As for the name, you went nuts, and came up with something original that, to top it all, sounds cool. That's where originality comes from.

I'll be waiting for the pics.

Well, thanks, then.
As for the photos... well, I don't have a scanner. o_o; I've drawn several sketches, and a project for Geography actually included a mini-comic starring Phenomenarch, but you're never going to see them. :o However, I'll post a quick synopsis of what I have planned for the second arc to make up for it.

[captain_unimpressive]

Dragoon: Escape from Aeropolis
Michael McCoy is making a name for himself in the hero community. That name: Dragoon, the sword-slinging defender of the night! Stopping burglaries and other crimes, Dragoon's made a few enemies, but most of them have been incarcerated. However, one day he stops a robbery which was set up by an organization dealing in stolen technology, currently in the employment of Dr. (Insert Name Here), the mad engineer of his very own mechanized empire. Dr. (Name) has just finished construction of the Aeropolis, a floating Model American City of the future Model American Dictatorship, and when Dragoon is found and captured, he is taken to the complex itself to act as a test subject. The power systems and office buildings are all in order; all that's left to work out in the law enforcement system. Will Dragoon survive?
Will the other captured heroes work with or against him? if he does get out, how will he make the thousand-foot drop to Earth? I'll figure it out once I write it!

[Preus]

Sounds good, I'm hoping for some kickass fights from this. *does karate chop*

[666MasterOfPuppets]

Well, thanks, then.
As for the photos... well, I don't have a scanner. o_o; I've drawn several sketches, and a project for Geography actually included a mini-comic starring Phenomenarch, but you're never going to see them. :o However, I'll post a quick synopsis of what I have planned for the second arc to make up for it.

Dragoon: Escape from Aeropolis
Michael McCoy is making a name for himself in the hero community. That name: Dragoon, the sword-slinging defender of the night! Stopping burglaries and other crimes, Dragoon's made a few enemies, but most of them have been incarcerated. However, one day he stops a robbery which was set up by an organization dealing in stolen technology, currently in the employment of Dr. (Insert Name Here), the mad engineer of his very own mechanized empire. Dr. (Name) has just finished construction of the Aeropolis, a floating Model American City of the future Model American Dictatorship, and when Dragoon is found and captured, he is taken to the complex itself to act as a test subject. The power systems and office buildings are all in order; all that's left to work out in the law enforcement system. Will Dragoon survive?
Will the other captured heroes work with or against him? if he does get out, how will he make the thousand-foot drop to Earth? I'll figure it out once I write it!

Sounds very, very interesting. AND fresh, which is something important in order to stand out from the crowd. Dude, this is excellent.

[captain_unimpressive]

I might have forgotten to mention that Dragoon isn't alone in this. There are some other captured heroes as well:
-Bluetooth: A hacker with a personal grudge against Dr. (Name). He was actually a colleague with the doctor years ago when they both worked in the top-secret New Phalanx government program (also significant later on). After he was framed by the Doctor(who then took the credit for his work) he's been out for revenge ever since.
-Neptune: Imagine Aquaman if Aquaman didn't talk to fish, wore heavy coats instead of scales and spandex, and was more of a sailor-type who would rather eat a fish whole than "commune" with it. In other words...well, the exact opposite of Aquaman. And the requisite badass of this particular storyline.
-Dynamo: The Living Meteor. Enough said.




Sounds good, I'm hoping for some kickass fights from this. *does karate chop*

Yes, I forgot to mention.
Dragoon didn't start off completely inexperienced. Michael's grandpa is a globe-hopping adventurer, after all, so the kid has had some martial arts training.
Not to mention that if he wants to escape, he's going to have to go through Dr.(Name)'s personal (and Logos-packing) bodyguards.

[666MasterOfPuppets]

I'm intrigued by that Dynamo character. Although I also want to see how you approach Neptune and Bluetooth. The latter, BTW, reminded me of ShadowRun for some godforsaken reason.

[captain_unimpressive]

I'm intrigued by that Dynamo character. Although I also want to see how you approach Neptune and Bluetooth. The latter, BTW, reminded me of ShadowRun for some reason.

Dynamo's more of a speedster character than anything. He also has some fire-elemental powers, and he leaves a blazing trail when he runs, which is about as literal as the "living meteor" term gets, I'm afraid. He's there because the Doctor simply wanted one of the subjects to be a speedster.
He feels that Dragoon's presence gets in the way, slowing him down.
Bluetooth's not a costumed hero (right now)--he's there because the Doc needs a hacker to challenge the system--and he also wouldn't Bluetooth out of the way.
Neptune is the most experienced. He takes no prisoners, and though the other two can take care of themselves, Dragoon barely knows how to use the Logos properly--a liability that none of them appreciate.

I'm almost certainly going to put some serious characterization into these three, since they'll be coming back, and there's going to be more heroes, as soon as I comb my list of characters. Also, some stuff about the bodyguards.
And I'm not familiar with ShadowRun. What is it, exactly?

[666MasterOfPuppets]

Cool. I'm intrigued by the new characters you're going to create. Looking forward to the whole shebang.

As for ShadowRun, I know it as a very popular SNES game (a seuqel of sorts to be released for next-gen platforms as a FPS), but those games are based on an even more popular RPG, set in the year 2065-2070. What strikes me the most about that game is the environment and the characters. In fact, I think that the Wachowski Brothers drew some inspiration from ShadowRun for The Matrix. And the same goes for the videogame Deus Ex (the characters in ShadowRun have implants called Bioware and Cyberware, they have some sort of techno-punk look that is really cool).

You can learn more about it at the official site (http://www.shadowrunrpg.com).

EDIT: this also reminds me of an old game called Syndicate and its sequel, Syndicate Wars. Ah, the good ol' times.

[captain_unimpressive]

Cool. I'm intrigued by the new characters you're going to create. Looking forward to the whole shebang.

As for ShadowRun, I know it as a very popular SNES game (a seuqel of sorts to be released for next-gen platforms as a FPS), but those games are based on an even more popular RPG, set in the year 2065-2070. What strikes me the most about that game is the environment and the characters. In fact, I think that the Wachowski Brothers drew some inspiration from ShadowRun for The Matrix. And the same goes for the videogame Deus Ex (the characters in ShadowRun have implants called Bioware and Cyberware, they have some sort of techno-punk look that is really cool).

You can learn more about it at the official site (http://www.shadowrunrpg.com).

EDIT: this also reminds me of an old game called Syndicate and its sequel, Syndicate Wars. Ah, the good ol' times.

That sounds pretty interesting.
I've got a lot of characters in my head at the moment (some names: Megaton, Focus, Vortox, and of course Epic) and a lot of material planned out to work with.
It's doubtful I'll ever manage to get it published, but hey, there's no success in not trying.
And some of my favorite ideas haven't been covered. Like the whole Epic thing (he lives up to his name)... but I think it'd be best to stop at this point.

I just wish that I had heard from more than two people.
The Neverending Forum isn't that dead, is it?

[666MasterOfPuppets]

Sometimes I wonder the same.

I was going to post a Superman fanfic I'm working on, but I haven't done so, due to the lack of quorum.

You can count me in as a consistent reader, though ;).

Epic? Hmmmm... Looking forward to reading more about him.

[captain_unimpressive]

I felt like dredging up this old topic because I've come up with a wealth of new stuff recently as I revived the idea--a supercharged Fourth World-like planet of extremely powerful Logos users, Greek Gods, a parallel dimension hunt, the Red Giant, and the origins of the Phenomenarch. I was citing Frank Miller as an influence, but now I'm leaning towards Grant Morrison and Jack Kirby's writing. I want to take a character from humble roots and through a tiny silver disc throw him headfirst into a truly insane, entirely unique universe, but I realized along the way that I can't actually draw, which is a definite hitch. So can anyone suggest how to make this work?

[666MasterOfPuppets]

A-ha! So, you've come back, cap'n. This is definitely great news.

As for your little conundrum, you could just let the words flow. I mean, you have ideas, just put them on paper. The drawings come later.

[captain_unimpressive]

A-ha! So, you've come back, cap'n. This is definitely great news.

As for your little conundrum, you could just let the words flow. I mean, you have ideas, just put them on paper. The drawings come later.

I never left... well, I did leave the Neverending Forum.

Yeah, that's what I've been doing. I seem to have lost the manuscript entirely, but I did a good eight pages of Dragoon's origin, and I started on the Logos Planet story.
And I did start on some sequential art, but it's not really worth much--lots and lots of thumbnail-sized panels. It's like if that last scene from DKSA was the way the entire book went.

[666MasterOfPuppets]

I never left... well, I did leave the Neverending Forum.

That's what I meant.

Yeah, that's what I've been doing. I seem to have lost the manuscript entirely, but I did a good eight pages of Dragoon's origin, and I started on the Logos Planet story.
And I did start on some sequential art, but it's not really worth much--lots and lots of thumbnail-sized panels. It's like if that last scene from DKSA was the way the entire book went.

Ah, that's good. And don't worry about those panels, you can always redraw them later.

[captain_unimpressive]

Ah, that's good. And don't worry about those panels, you can always redraw them later.

I just wish I knew someone who's a really good artist. But ah, well, I'll just develop my skills some more.

You know, it would be nice if there was more than one person interested in this. I mean... we're talking Greek Gods, legacies to uniquely Silver Age adventurers and super-scientists, a man I call the Johnny Cash of superheroes, and about a billion other notions which, once the story is past the simple origins of the main character, I plan to pack with Morrison-esque fervor at a rate of as many as I can shove into a single panel... and lots of robots.

[666MasterOfPuppets]

I just wish I knew someone who's a really good artist. But ah, well, I'll just develop my skills some more.

Hey, you got great artists right here in the NEF. :)

You know, it would be nice if there was more than one person interested in this. I mean... we're talking Greek Gods, legacies to uniquely Silver Age adventurers and super-scientists, a man I call the Johnny Cash of superheroes, and about a billion other notions which, once the story is past the simple origins of the main character, I plan to pack with Morrison-esque fervor at a rate of as many as I can shove into a single panel... and lots of robots.

I know what you mean. I think that most people are just lazy when it comes down to read a fanfic. There are great fics out there, like the ones from "Ultimate DC" and dragonbat's Batman fics.

But don't get discouraged. Remember that the main reason you're doing this is that you want to do it for yourself.

BTW, the phrase "Morrison-esque fervor" got me hooked.

And your sig is great.

[captain_unimpressive]

Hey, you got great artists right here in the NEF. :)



I know what you mean. I think that most people are just lazy when it comes down to read a fanfic. There are great fics out there, like the ones from "Ultimate DC" and dragonbat's Batman fics.

But don't get discouraged. Remember that the main reason you're doing this is that you want to do it for yourself.

BTW, the phrase "Morrison-esque fervor" got me hooked.

And your sig is great.

Well, in that case, would anyone be interested in trying to make this happen?

And who said anything about fan-fiction? I did compare characters to established ones (a little too much, really) but this isn't based on any other intellectual properties.

That was one of the best little moments in the first movie.

[666MasterOfPuppets]

Well, in that case, would anyone be interested in trying to make this happen?

And who said anything about fan-fiction? I did compare characters to established ones (a little too much, really) but this isn't based on any other intellectual properties.

You're right. Wrong word.

That was one of the best little moments in the first movie.

Hehehe... Agreed.