Useless superpowers

[TomStillwell]

Hyper acne!!!

[shanejayell]

The blimp. He was fat... and could float.

[heystacy]

Lester summoning. :D

Talk about useless in a crisis.

[hellokittykat]

The ability to play betamax videos in your bellybutton.

[Jack Zodiac]

Extremely nasal voice!

[TomStillwell]

Tactile breathing!

[bert]

Tantric Toilet Scrubbing


(I hear Sting has this super power!)


.

[GCom]

The power to make flowers bloom 2 minutes earlier, but only if used during planting.

Able to leap tall outhouses with a catapult.

Able to tie your shoes off-handed.

Able to name the planet Alf came from.

Able to pick your nose with your big toe. In public. And not be stared at.

Able to make public bathrooms smell like springtime. (Actually, I'd prolly pay for that...)

Able to laugh at everyone at the Will Shatner roast.

Able to rotate your underwear clockwise around your waist while wearing it.

Able to recite the alphabet backwards, skipping all the vowels, and giving the sign-language equivalent as you pass by. While drunk. (Tapeheads!)

Able to give Wierd Al Yankovic his 'fro back.

Able to fly, except in a atmosphere.

Able to be truly perfect. That will get you killed if it goes public, so it's useless.



With Tolerance For A Couple Off The Top Of My Head...

GCom

[Eliseu Gouveia]

Pain sensors in the hair.


Think about it. :cool:

[Wil Radcliffe]

The ability to spend five minutes with Gilbert Godfery without wanting to smack him.

The ability to spend five minutes with Rosie O'Donnell without wanting to kill her.

The ability to spend five minutes with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes without wanting to kill yourself.

The ability to come up with answers to questions about useless super powers.

[Crowley]

Doug Ramsey.

[stealthwise]

Extremely heightened tactile olfactory senses.

Meaning that you can smell anything really really well, but only if you if you're touching it.

[Jack Zodiac]

Eyeballs on each of your fingertips, not in your sockets!

[shrike]

The ability to regenerate your appendix and tonsils.

[Cam63]

I dunno. The above powers/abilities mentioned seem pretty useful to me.

[Cam63]

Ooooh ! I've got one !




Adrian Paul appreciation.

[Eliseu Gouveia]

Cloth empathy!

When you touch your wet coat, you feel wet and cold too.

[TomStillwell]

Cherry scented blood.

[Eliseu Gouveia]

Ability to reattach clipped nails.

[Cam63]

X ray vision that only works on lead lined boxes.

[Haunt]

permanent intangibility

ability to sweat super glue

[Eliseu Gouveia]

Shapeshift into a bright neon green vase.

[Gavin Higginbotham, BotF]

I think the character Super-X from SAVAGE DRAGON has a pretty useless power. He has the ability to repel dirt from his body to keep his clothes clean, but he also repels soap and so smells constantly. Genius!

[Eliseu Gouveia]

You know, I think I´d absolutely LOVE a comic where everybody has a completelly useless power and yet the writer managed to have them save the day through inventive use of those powers.

Key word being "inventive". :D

[Karl O'Neill]

being able to lick icepops at superspeed

[John Nowak]

The child of an unholy union between a human woman and a vampire father, she has all the vulnerabilities of a vampire -- and none of the powers.

[Sally Sensational]

You know, I think I´d absolutely LOVE a comic where everybody has a completelly useless power and yet the writer managed to have them save the day through inventive use of those powers.

Key word being "inventive". :D

Didn't they do that in "Sky High" (mom alert)? There was the kid who could shapeshift, but only into a guinea pig, the kid who could melt into a puddle, and the kid who could glow. Yet they saved the day . . .

useless super-powers? The ability to make all keyboards within a given radius get stuck on caps lock, the ability to shed all hair on the head and body at will, the ability to convert small metal objects into pennies - but only pennies, and, last but certainly not least, the ability to instantly recharge ONLY C sized batteries

[Jack Zodiac]

Carpet growth!

[Cam63]

No... Somethings are best left unsaid.

[Eliseu Gouveia]

Didn't they do that in "Sky High" (mom alert)? There was the kid who could shapeshift, but only into a guinea pig, the kid who could melt into a puddle, and the kid who could glow. Yet they saved the day . . .


Had completely forgotten about that one....

I was thinking more along the lines of Mistery Men. :p

[TomStillwell]

Acelerated blinking!

[MacQuarrie]

Glade (http://www.monkeyspit.net/4thwall/010303.php)
Lumina (http://www.monkeyspit.net/4thwall/012403.php)