post stupid comments or conversations you've overheard

[Hush Little Batman]

It happens to all of us. You're somewhere and you overhear other people talking and one of them says something that makes you stop and think, "WTF?" So please, share those comments with us in this thread. :)

Last year I was at a library and there were two teen girls in there talking about movies and I heard this exchange:

Girl 1: "Oh, I saw Godzilla."

Girl 2: "You mean King Kong."

Girl 1: "Whatever."

[BYC]

"They gamble in Atlantic City?"

In regards to fighting games
"You're cheap, you don't let people out of the corner"
"Mega Man is too good, he can do a 8 hit combo!"

"When I get out of debt, I'm gonna take you out to a good restaurant like Red Lobster!"

All these quotes from from a person I named 'the Idiot'. His low intelligence is truly amazing.

[J. Robb]

One in particular often comes to mind.

Dumb guy: "They should just nuke Baghdad, then there'll be no more terrorists."

[StoneGold]

"It happens to all of us. You're somewhere and you overhear other people talking and one of them says something that makes you stop and think, 'WTF?' So please, share those comments with us in this thread."


Oh, I'm so witty!!!

[Jeff Brady]

"But isn't the Bible millions of years old?"

Ah, that takes me back.

[BoosterBronze]

Just this morning, at the airport as they took away President Ford's body. Some lady kept talking, quite loud, and made this interesting train of comments.

"They keep moving him around. They keep moving the body different places. I'm Canadian. I don't understand why they keep moving the body from place to place. I came to this country from Canada."

[Athena Bast]

I'm having an odd sense of deja vu here.... because I recall a thread from a couple days ago that was along the lines of this very subject.

oh wait.... http://forums.comicbookresources.com/showthread.php?t=157817

[JerrBear81]

I'm having an odd sense of deja vu here.... because I recall a thread from a couple days ago that was along the lines of this very subject.

oh wait.... http://forums.comicbookresources.com/showthread.php?t=157817

You're icon definitely fits your reply :D

[Frankie Dennis]

I heard some girl say this to her friend while leaving a restaurant the other day. (I'm not making this up)

"I only slept with him to give him my STD"

[Tony Bang]

One in particular often comes to mind.

Dumb guy: "They should just nuke Baghdad, then there'll be no more terrorists."

I hear that at my school so much. The funny thing is most of the people who say that then go on to talk about what wonderful Christians they are.

[Tony Bang]

Another classic from my school.

"I think scientist are trying to kill us with all the dangerous stuff they make"

[Spike-X]

One in particular often comes to mind.

Dumb guy: "They should just nuke Baghdad, then there'll be no more terrorists."
Let me guess...George W. Bush?

[Cam63]

From a middle aged woman to a liquor store cashier: " I don't drink. The beer's not for me, it's for my teenage son and his friends. "

She was a little bewildered when she was refused purchase.

[Cam63]

Let me guess...George W. Bush?

Nah. He'd call 'em " terrists. "

[Sean Whitmore]

Just heard this a couple of hours ago at Blockbuster:

"I don't understand the concept of putting them in alphabetical order."


SEAN

[Cam63]

Female talkshow host: " I read women don't get prostate cancer. Why is that ? "

[Sean Whitmore]

From right here on CBR (paraphrased, but not much):

"I think they're purposely making Spider-Man comics really bad now so that Joe Quesada can cancel the series and make Ultimate Spider-Man the official continuity."


SEAN

[Spike-X]

Female talkshow host: " I read women don't get prostate cancer. Why is that ? "
You're fucking kidding.

Who said that?

[Tony Bang]

From right here on CBR (paraphrased, but not much):

"I think they're purposely making Spider-Man comics really bad now so that Joe Quesada can cancel the series and make Ultimate Spider-Man the official continuity."


SEAN

I wouldn't discount Quesada's evil power. He's a tricky devil.

[Cam63]

You're fucking kidding.

Who said that?

Kerry Anne Kennerly when she was hosting Midday.

[Spike-X]

How did I know it would be her?

And why are all (from a sample of 2) women named Kerri-Anne idiots?

[Xero Kaiser]

Girl 1: *confused look* OMG look!
Girl 2: ?
Girl 1: Mexican cheese? *hushed voice* ....I didn't know Mexicans had cheese
---

Guy: Well, I don't know. Hey, Adrian.
Me: hmm?
Guy: Do black guys have black jizz?

[TheTen-EyedMan]

Girl 1: *confused look* OMG look!
Girl 2: ?
Girl 1: Mexican cheese? *hushed voice* ....I didn't know Mexicans had cheese
---

Guy: Well, I don't know. Hey, Adrian.
Me: hmm?
Guy: Do black guys have black jizz?

Those people will be looking after me when I get old and infirmed.

I think I'll George Sanders' my way out of this life.

[G. Boney]

"I've never met a Black man who don't smoke weed"

^^A former co-worker said that to me. Yes he was also Black. Plus he was damn near 40. I could maybe see a dumb punk kid saying that but a grown @ss man:confused:

(yeah I didn't "overhear" this but still...)

[Calybos]

Single dumbest thing I've overheard at work:

When discussing what a pregnant coworker should name her newborn son (delivery date coming up next week), several ideas were tossed around: name him after the mother's father, the dad's father, a favorite uncle, etc.

One twit's suggestion: "Why don't you name him after his brother?"

[Fabian]

We got a new British manager at work and a waitress asked him this in November, "Why don't you guys celebrate Thanksgiving in England?"

[Spike-X]

Single dumbest thing I've overheard at work:

When discussing what a pregnant coworker should name her newborn son (delivery date coming up next week), several ideas were tossed around: name him after the mother's father, the dad's father, a favorite uncle, etc.

One twit's suggestion: "Why don't you name him after his brother?"
"Hi, I'm Larry, this is my brother Darrell, and this is my other brother Darrell."

[Percival]

We got a new British manager at work and a waitress asked him this in November, "Why don't you guys celebrate Thanksgiving in England?"

Why is this stupid?
Do you know for a fact that there isn't a Thanksgiving holiday in England? I don't think there is, but it is not a uniquely American holiday. http://www.holidays.net/thanksgiving/story.htm

[Michael P]

Why is this stupid?
Because modern Thanksgiving is a New World holiday, and England is smack in the middle of the Old World all the colonists were running from?

[Spike-X]

Why is this stupid?
Do you know for a fact that there isn't a Thanksgiving holiday in England?

Yes.

Don't you?

[Percival]

Thanksgiving is a human tradition that is older than written language, it is nothing more than a harvest festival/celebration, a period of feasting to prepare for a period of winter and to consume as much of that portion of the harvest that won't save for winter. The fact that the US and Canada have official holidays labled Thanksgiving has nothing to do with the old world or the new world.
http://www.crewsnest.vispa.com/thanksgivingUK.htm

[dingo]

Thanksgiving is a human tradition that is older than written language, it is nothing more than a harvest festival/celebration, a period of feasting to prepare for a period of winter and to consume as much of that portion of the harvest that won't save for winter. The fact that the US and Canada have official holidays labled Thanksgiving has nothing to do with the old world or the new world.
http://www.crewsnest.vispa.com/thanksgivingUK.htm

I call B.S.

On the one hand you have the idea of eating a lot so that you survive the winter.

On the other you have a holiday where the intent is to dwell on what you should be thankful for. It happens to involve a lot of eating.

They both fall at about the same time.

How is that the same holiday? Two different intentions. It is like saying that Hannukah (sp?) is the same as Christmas because they are both religious holidays that happen at the same time.

[Magneto_X]

I call B.S.

On the one hand you have the idea of eating a lot so that you survive the winter.

On the other you have a holiday where the intent is to dwell on what you should be thankful for. It happens to involve a lot of eating.

They both fall at about the same time.

How is that the same holiday? Two different intentions. It is like saying that Hannukah (sp?) is the same as Christmas because they are both religious holidays that happen at the same time.

I thought the America thanksgiving was based on Columbus finding it and making "peace" with the Indians.

[dingo]

I thought the America thanksgiving was based on Columbus finding it and making "peace" with the Indians.

Still not the same as putting on winter fat.

[Mike Pothier]

"If it wasn't for my horse..."

[Erebus]

I thought the America thanksgiving was based on Columbus finding it and making "peace" with the Indians.

I thought it dealt with the English Pilgrims, not Columbus.

[J. Robb]

Thanksgiving is a human tradition that is older than written language, it is nothing more than a harvest festival/celebration, a period of feasting to prepare for a period of winter and to consume as much of that portion of the harvest that won't save for winter. The fact that the US and Canada have official holidays labled Thanksgiving has nothing to do with the old world or the new world.
Thanksgiving coincides with the harvest, but it is not specifically a harvest celebration, anymore than Christmas is a celebration of the winter solstice.

[Alex]

"You think Rkelly did it?"
"No"
"They got a video"
"They can fake that."
"Who would fake it?"
"He guilty!"
"No he isn't!"
"Yes he is, he guilty"
"Nuuh!"
"HE GUILTY"
"I don't care, his new album was tight"
Word for word.
And that was recent, only a week ago, so i'm not sure why they were still talking about R kelly.

[LtMarvel]

Walking by some young woman at the Missouri State Fair...

"It was either this or a honeymoon."

[Magneto_X]

I thought it dealt with the English Pilgrims, not Columbus.

My mistake. Yes, it was the pilgrims.

[Cam63]

I don't recall word for word, but a woman was arguing with her friend that because an actor played a gay man he must be gay offscreen and how devastated she was 'cause she thought he was hot.

[tangentman]

Picture it, 10th grade Algebra, a crotchety middle-aged woman with a horrendous Southern accent calling roll. She went through the roll call until she reached the "S's". The name in particular was a classmate named "Pierre Scott." Mrs. Cason called out his name, then paused. Wrinkling her nose in confusion, Mrs. Cason looked askew at Pierre. Then, she asked, "Pierre. Isn't that Eye-Talian?"

I spent the rest of the hour racked with the worst case of the giggles.

[Paul McEnery]

Those people will be looking after me when I get old and infirmed.

I think I'll George Sanders' my way out of this life.

Have lots of gay sex until you get bored?

[Lee Kaye]

A friend told me this, and I don't know whether to believe him or he was having a laugh.

He claims he heard two girls talking on the bus about the film Titanic (this was when it just came out). One girl who had seen it was talking and the other told her to stop as she didn't want to know what happened and spoil the ending.

[SamuraiJack]

"If it wasn't for my horse..."

LMAO! I was just listening to Lewis Black the other day. His whole skit on that was priceless!

[TheTen-EyedMan]

Have lots of gay sex until you get bored?

http://www.playwithlinn.com/Images/funny%20pics/oh%20snap.jpg

Thanks Paul...

[Mac Danny]

When discussing the origins of morality with some extended family over the holidays.

ME: See your morality is a combination of your cultural traditions and your religious beliefs.

Cousin's Wife: But I have friends who are Jewish and they shake hands when they meet people all the time!

ME: Shaking hands hello is not really a moral. It is more of a kindness. Morality is more like understanding that murdering people is bad.

Cousin's Wife: But that is how I was raised. It is moral to greet someone and show them respect.

Cousin: So you wouldn't kill anybody?

ME: No

Cousin: Not even if they killed your wife?

ME: No

Cousin: Psst.. then you got no F*#% Balls.

it was at this point I stopped talking. When a table full of people all agree that a moral person shows respect by shaking hands but it is OK to murder people then I have noting to say that would ever be understood.

[Typo Lad]

...

Shaking hands is the only way to greet someone?

Personallyh, I do a half-bow. Just to screw with people's heads.

[Mac Danny]

One in particular often comes to mind.

Dumb guy: "They should just nuke Baghdad, then there'll be no more terrorists."

I hear this one a lot. along with "they should just level the middle east and put up baseball stadiums and parking lots."

No wonder the world hates Americans.

[Mac Danny]

...

Shaking hands is the only way to greet someone?

Personallyh, I do a half-bow. Just to screw with people's heads.

Sometimes the whole "Italian respect" thing gets on my nerves. It takes you 40 min to say hello to everyone personally and 60 Min to say goodbye personally. God forbid you wave and try to get everyone in at once, or don't shake or kiss hello after you have been gone for 5 Min.

Once you are out the door, everyone needs to be re-greeted. It's annoying.

But as long as everyone in the world shook hands, we would be a moral place according to my cousin's wife. And she is an elementary school teacher!

[Mac Danny]

Another gem I heard in regards to my wife. When asked if my wife new how to use a particular brand of dishwasher.

Aunt: Niki can you run the dishwasher for me, do you know how to use it?

Cousin's Wife: Of course she knows how to run the dishwasher, she's married!

It's that kind of stupidity that makes you weep.

[Typo Lad]

Wow.

My wife would have broken your cousin's wife's arm in like, three places.

[Lee Kaye]

My girlfriend was sat reading the paper years ago, her cousin was in the room.

GF: Shit, there's a story here about gangs fighting. A man was stabbed repeatedly, then shot 20 times, with 10 of those in the head.

GF's cousin: Did he die?

[Mac Danny]

Wow.

My wife would have broken your cousin's wife's arm in like, three places.

Yeah, It's that kind of thing that makes us never want to go back their again. I said it before and I'll say it till the day I die.

Family is the reason you have friends.

[Solaris]

Mother at the little horsie carosel outside a WalMart:

"No, honey, not that one; you should ride the blue horse."

"Wan' dis one!"

"No, ride the blue horse."

*wailing from kid*

*Mom continues arguing that only the blue horse will do*

Now I ask you: if you're going to let your toddler ride a germ-infested ride, what the fuck difference does it make *which* horse she rides??? The whole idea is for the kid to have FUN.

File this one under "unnecessary argument and angst." :rolleyes:

[Michael P]

Mother at the little horsie carosel outside a WalMart:

"No, honey, not that one; you should ride the blue horse."

"Wan' dis one!"

"No, ride the blue horse."

*wailing from kid*

*Mom continues arguing that only the blue horse will do*

Now I ask you: if you're going to let your toddler ride a germ-infested ride, what the fuck difference does it make *which* horse she rides??? The whole idea is for the kid to have FUN.

File this one under "unnecessary argument and angst." :rolleyes:

Isn't that how Ed Gein got started?

[TheTen-EyedMan]

My girlfriend was sat reading the paper years ago, her cousin was in the room.

GF: Shit, there's a story here about gangs fighting. A man was stabbed repeatedly, then shot 20 times, with 10 of those in the head.

GF's cousin: Did he die?

Pray the cousin had big tits.

That's all that could save her.

[Mac Danny]

Mother at the little horsie carosel outside a WalMart:

"No, honey, not that one; you should ride the blue horse."

"Wan' dis one!"

"No, ride the blue horse."

*wailing from kid*

*Mom continues arguing that only the blue horse will do*

Now I ask you: if you're going to let your toddler ride a germ-infested ride, what the fuck difference does it make *which* horse she rides??? The whole idea is for the kid to have FUN.

File this one under "unnecessary argument and angst." :rolleyes:

Damn Horse Racists!

[Lee Kaye]

Pray the cousin had big tits.

That's all that could save her.

She went on to lead a successful life as a lesbian.

[G. Wayne]

"Ni***rs like you shouldn't be at the mall."

One 14ish year old white girl, talking quite loudly, to another 14ish year old white boy while at a local mall.

[lalalei2001]

At my school, some students use it as a slang term that can refer to any person of any color. I don't know what it means though.

[G. Boney]

"Ni***rs like you shouldn't be at the mall."

One 14ish year old white girl, talking quite loudly, to another 14ish year old white boy while at a local mall.

:confused:

Just for the heck of it...explain why you think this was a stupid conversation.

[lalalei2001]

<born1986> why isn't my disk drive working
<born1986> I worked on that essay for three hours in school
<born1986> and now I cant finish it cause my drive isn’t working
<Z00ss> you got the right drivers?
<born1986> yes
<born1986> it was working fine yesterday
<born1986> why does this always happen to me?
<Z00ss> maybe that little clip on the side is in the wrong position
<born1986> I haven’t touched it since school
<born1986> I’m growing impatient
<born1986> ANGRY even
<Z00ss> throw it out that window

. . .

<born1986> OMG I did it!!!
<born1986> !!!!!
<Z00ss> it works?
<born1986> no, I threw it out the window
<Z00ss> the disk?
<born1986> NO the whole drive
<born1986> I live on the 6th floor, made a nice *smash*
<Z00ss> :D
<born1986> OH CRAP
<born1986> THE DISK WAS STILL INSIDE
<born1986> brb

. . .

<born1986> crap
<Z00ss> what? did ya break it?
<born1986> well I couldn't open the drive
<born1986> so I had to pound it against a rock
<Z00ss> :o
<born1986> quite HARD
<born1986> and you know what?
<born1986> the disk wasn’t even there
<Z00ss> ???
<born1986> I got so mad I threw the remainders of the drive on to the freeway
<born1986> and when I got back upstairs I found the disk inside my bag
<Z00ss> lol
<born1986> I NEVER EVEN PUT IT IN THE DRIVE
<born1986> I'm actually crying right now

. . .

<born1986> wonder if I could make that drive work again
<born1986> brb

[Michael P]

<born1986> why isn't my disk drive working
<born1986> I worked on that essay for three hours in school
<born1986> and now I cant finish it cause my drive isn’t working
<Z00ss> you got the right drivers?
<born1986> yes
<born1986> it was working fine yesterday
<born1986> why does this always happen to me?
<Z00ss> maybe that little clip on the side is in the wrong position
<born1986> I haven’t touched it since school
<born1986> I’m growing impatient
<born1986> ANGRY even
<Z00ss> throw it out that window

. . .

<born1986> OMG I did it!!!
<born1986> !!!!!
<Z00ss> it works?
<born1986> no, I threw it out the window
<Z00ss> the disk?
<born1986> NO the whole drive
<born1986> I live on the 6th floor, made a nice *smash*
<Z00ss> :D
<born1986> OH CRAP
<born1986> THE DISK WAS STILL INSIDE
<born1986> brb

. . .

<born1986> crap
<Z00ss> what? did ya break it?
<born1986> well I couldn't open the drive
<born1986> so I had to pound it against a rock
<Z00ss> :o
<born1986> quite HARD
<born1986> and you know what?
<born1986> the disk wasn’t even there
<Z00ss> ???
<born1986> I got so mad I threw the remainders of the drive on to the freeway
<born1986> and when I got back upstairs I found the disk inside my bag
<Z00ss> lol
<born1986> I NEVER EVEN PUT IT IN THE DRIVE
<born1986> I'm actually crying right now

. . .

<born1986> wonder if I could make that drive work again
<born1986> brb

I don't think "found on bash.org" is the same as "overheard."

[Adem]

Girl: Pearl Harbor was a wicked movie
Me: Well if you’re interested in learning more about it you should get some books on it.
Girl: Why would I read the book when I’ve seen the movie?
Me: You know it actually happened right?
Girl:*surprised*Say word!

In a bookstore
Me: You should read this book.
Woman: *reads the back of the book*Black humor?! But it’s written by a Chinese person!

[Sean Whitmore]

At my school, some students use it as a slang term that can refer to any person of any color. I don't know what it means though.

It probably means they're a little stupid.


SEAN

[Hush Little Batman]

It probably means they're a little stupid.SEAN

I work with complete idiots, but I overheard this at my job recently.

My supervisor (Yancy) and another employee (Sara) are talking about former talk show host, Morton Downey Jr. when Sara accidentally says "Robert" instead of "Morton" to which Yancy says, "No, I'm talking about Morton. Robert Downey is his son."

:eek:

The fact that Robert Downey has "Jr." at the end of his name didn't clue them in on the fact that his father shares his name. Worse, these are the kind of people that think they know everything, so if you politely correct them, they feel you're wrong.


Another instance was today. Yancy's best friend (Yesenia) thinks she knows everything about iPods, so when Yancy said that hers had stopped working, I told her that as long as it can turn on, it would be possible to transfer her songs from her busted 'pod to her HDD and then back onto a new iPod (with the proper software). Yesenia turns to me and emphatically states that "You can't move your songs from your iPod to your hard drive." I simply looked at her pitifully and nodded, "Yes, you can. I do it all the time and did it when my iPod messed up."

Yesenia stood very quiet after that. You know, I really don't mind that Yesenia didn't know, but don't be a know-it-all, if you don't know a damn thing about what you're talking about.

[Demon wizard]

A week or so ago there was this girl who sits behind me in one of my classes who was discussing weather or not you could pass a breathalyser test by eating mustard.

And one time me and my friends were talking, and and at one point someone mentions the capital of Belgium, when my other friend replies, "wait, how can Belgium have a capital if it's the capital of Germany?"

[Huh?]

My girlfriend was sat reading the paper years ago, her cousin was in the room.

GF: Shit, there's a story here about gangs fighting. A man was stabbed repeatedly, then shot 20 times, with 10 of those in the head.

GF's cousin: Did he die?LMAO

I read this entire thread, and found a lot of these pretty funny, but that one had me laughing hysterically. It needs to be in a movie.

[mattx110]

Thanksgiving is a human tradition that is older than written language, it is nothing more than a harvest festival/celebration, a period of feasting to prepare for a period of winter and to consume as much of that portion of the harvest that won't save for winter. The fact that the US and Canada have official holidays labled Thanksgiving has nothing to do with the old world or the new world.
http://www.crewsnest.vispa.com/thanksgivingUK.htm

the link is not working for me, but there are 4 holidays (i think every 3 months on the first of the month) based on the harvest in celtic tradition including one november first. it's just the way things like this work. they may or may not be connected with modern holidays. halloween is co-opted. the first of may has a few signifigances. maybe there's a conspiracy but certain days get all the glory. someone should do a comic on it. i think this hickman bloke would do a good job of it. 6000 year conspiracies are pretty hip now, even though the da vinci code craziness has died down.

but having feasts is pretty much the basis of every pre-christian holiday, because that's what people cared about before their food became symbolic of savior flesh. (i didn't mean for that to come off as offensive and it's probably not terribly accurate as there are probably tons of holidays we've lost track of throughout human history or pre-history)

[FunkyGreenJerusalem]

I was reading on a train once, and three people in their twenties were sitting at a seat with a middle aged woman, when one asks her the question "Mum, why don't you love dad?"
She denied that she didn't, I managed not to laugh, and spent the rest of the trip pretending to read but instead listening intently.

[Jinxer]

I work in a human anatomy exhibit, I hear dumb things all the time.

Woman to her son on the appendix: doctors need to take that out because it's not supposed to be there.

Frat Boy to Girlfriend: these people must have been tortured. (no, that's impossible, torture would lead to massive and evident tissu damage)

Man to me: Are these real? (big sign at the start of the exhibit: All the Bodies you see inside are real)

High school girl to me: Where is the room on sex?
Same girl after entering the room: eew gross (what did she expect? porn?)

Finally, Last week when standing around the exhibit exit: God would not approve.

[zilch]

Walking by some young woman at the Missouri State Fair...

"It was either this or a honeymoon."

Speaking from personal experience, i had nearly as much fun on my honeymoon as i did at the Missouri State Fair.

[Jared]

Some guy in a comic book store talking to his friend: "...and then there were those 10 other planes that got hijacked that they shot down." Yes, he was talking about 9/11. He wasn't just spouting some theory he'd read on the internet, he spoke as if he was simply reciting common knowledge.

I considered taking the law into my own hands right there, to defend the gene pool as well as my own sanity. From the looks on their faces, it seems that the friend and the store clerk considered it too.

[Knight Lancer]

Friend of Mine: "You could just blow up the sun by igniting all the hydrogen with a match!"

Scientific knowledge: beaten, pulped, and shot.

[Toku King]

Something that happened at my school.

Random Guy: So I then tried harder.....

Me: That's what she said!

Random Guy and Random Guy #2: ..............

Me: I'll be good.

[hamboy]

My mom once said that Buzz Lightyear was the first man on the Moon...

[Hush Little Batman]

My mom once said that Buzz Lightyear was the first man on the Moon...

LOL!!!

Okay, now that's classic. I wish I would've heard that one.

[Jinxer]

I work at a human anatomy exhibit on the weekends. I thought I could get through this weekend without hearing the following:

Lady: So where do these bodies come from?
Me: There is a lab in North Western China that processes the bodies for us
Lady: Did they die of natural causes? They all look so young.
Me: Well, after the skin and fat have been removed most human bodies look about the same regardless of age.
Lady: But were they tortured?
Me: No, any kind of torture would be apparent through scaring or trauma, there is no way that any of these bodies could have been tortured without massive and apparent evidence of this.
Lady: Were they executed?
Me: No, execution by firing squad would be obvious, poisons would be evident as tissue damage. Any kind of eggregious physical treatment would be very apparent.
Lady: But it's China.
Me: Well, China has doctors, universities and anatomists just like most other countries.
Lady: Well, really what do you think?
Me: I think that these were either unclaimed bodies or individuals who donated their bodies to science. It's the same way we get cadavers here. It's the only way to have bodies that would be free of scaring or trauma.
Lady: Well I think they were tortured.
Me: I know they could not have been.

Then she walks away and talks to the exhibit manager who pats me on the shoulder with a 'good job'.

[Grazzt]

Here's a good one. My roommate saw that I had Mr. Noodle packages, and accused me of stealing hers. When I produced a receipt showing that I bought them, she said that I could have taken hers back to the store for a refund, and then used the money to buy new ones. :rolleyes:

I pretend she doesn't exist now.

[mattx110]

Here's a good one. My roommate saw that I had Mr. Noodle packages, and accused me of stealing hers. When I produced a receipt showing that I bought them, she said that I could have taken hers back to the store for a refund, and then used the money to buy new ones. :rolleyes:

I pretend she doesn't exist now.

she's pretty brilliant. i'm not being sarcastic. it takes a sharp mind to spot that. that's holmes level deduction.

[Ben Morgan]

When I was watching Fantastic Four 2 in theaters, some kid yelled "iceman!".

Sometime this year, I heard someone ask someone if they're voting for Bush next year

[Sean Whitmore]

When I was watching Fantastic Four 2 in theaters, some kid yelled "iceman!".

That's not so bad.

Unless the Torch was on the screen when he said it....


SEAN

[mattx110]

That's not so bad.

Unless the Torch was on the screen when he said it....


SEAN

he's really clever then. they have the same fundamental ability in being able to manipulate heat.

half these people you all think said somethig stupid are just really damn smart.

[Riddley Walker]

In the bookstore, kid asks for book entitled "Oh Bethany! Oh Bethany!" and says "I'm not sure that's the exact title, but it has exclamation points in it."
Remarkably, a bookseller realizes that he means "Absalom! Absalom!"

Also in the bookstore, "Do you have 'The Two Bulimic Sisters'?"
Bookseller: "I can't find a listing for that title."
Customer: "Maybe it's 'The Other Bulimic Sister'"
Bookseller, again amazingly, realizes that she means "The Other Boleyn Girl".

But maybe booksellers know everything? Real overheard: "Do you have any books about Pilobolus?" Bookseller: "Do you mean the dance troupe or the
fungus that grows on horse manure?" (She meant the former.)

[Super Hero Guy]

"I don't believe in those weather forecasts? What are they doing, hooking up wires to God? It's all a hoax!"

[Ben Morgan]

That's not so bad.

Unless the Torch was on the screen when he said it....


SEAN
oops, I forgot to mention it was the Surfer

[Kirk G]

"I don't believe in those weather forecasts? What are they doing, hooking up wires to God? It's all a hoax!"

"Hey! I resemble that remark!":D

[Super Hero Guy]

Woman: The world makes no sense these days. A gay couple can go out and adopt a kid, but a normal single woman like me wouldn't be able to.

Man: I know. Doesn't the government realize that all of these adopted kids are going to end up being fags?

[Ivan Isaacs]

When I was watching Fantastic Four 2 in theaters, some kid yelled "iceman!".


We were watching "Howl's Moving Castle" and in every Ghibli movie at the beginning the Ghibli logo pops up:

http://www.tpa.or.th/writer/picture/20167_ghibli.gif

Some kid: "We can't read Turkish!"


But maybe booksellers know everything? Real overheard: "Do you have any books about Pilobolus?" Bookseller: "Do you mean the dance troupe or the
fungus that grows on horse manure?" (She meant the former.)

LOL
One of my co-workers used to be a bookseller and he could tell stories...

"Do you have this novel from Trotsky?"
- "Err... no."
"But you have it out in the window!"

[she meant Lord of the Rings... by Tolkien]

---
"So you want a novel with the content of >>East of Eden<< but with the title >>Rebel without a cause<<?"
- "Yes".
"... ..."

[Man In Black]

Sitting in "Lord of the Rings: the Two Towers" with my wife, during the scene where Eowyn is talking about the destruction of her country at the hands of Saruman, she says to Aragorn: "They moved through the Westfold, burning Rick, Cot and Tree."

The guy sitting in front of us leans over to his friend and says "Hey, Who's Rick Cottontree?"

[Dan Apodaca]

Woman: The world makes no sense these days. A gay couple can go out and adopt a kid, but a normal single woman like me wouldn't be able to.

Man: I know. Doesn't the government realize that all of these adopted kids are going to end up being fags?

If only! It would really lower the competition, you know?

[Super Hero Guy]

Person: "If we evolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?"

Me: Because we both evolved from a common ancestor.

Person: That's completely stupid.

[tangentman]

Count this as a "Buy 1, Get 1 Free Special" if you like:

A Starbucks employee asks his 17 year old co-worker, "Did you know Helen Keller could play the piano?"

The girl and her friend react give him confused looks. In unison, they say, "No."

He answers, "Neither did she!"

Girl #1 says, "Aww, that's mean! You shouldn't make fun of her!"

Girl #2: "Yeah, I read her book in the 8th grade. Didn't her family hide from Nazis in an attic?"

[captain_unimpressive]

"Somebody needs to un-warm this globe."

[Dan Apodaca]

"What does the meatball sub usually come with?"
"Meatballs, sauce, and cheese"
"No vegetables?"
"No, but we can add them if you want?"
"Eeeeww! Why would I want vegetables on a meatball sub?!"

[Pól Rua]

Me: "Sorry, the comics shipment's been delayed by 24 hours. They won't be in until tomorrow at this time."
Customer: "Does that include the Transformers comics?"

[Dan Apodaca]

Her: "Why do you think it's so hot today?"
Me: "Probably from all the fires."
Her: "But the fires are all so far away."
Me: "Well, with the heavy winds and all the stuff being picked up into the air, it's easy for it to carry over."
Her: "Whoa! I didn't know fire could move on the wind!"



I gotta stop being polite to strangers.

[Demon wizard]

"Somebody needs to un-warm this globe."
What? Even in context i highly doubt that would make sense.

[Super Hero Guy]

Overhearing two people having a discussion about World War 2:

"America joined in 1942"

"No, it was in 1945!"

"I'm pretty sure..."

"No, I know this, ok. USA joined the war 1945, the same year it ended. I thought everybody knew that."

[MissKale]

I was having a nice lunch on a friday when all my classes were over for the day. Which is where I overheard the only conversation where I was really really tempted to chew the person out.

So this guy was sitting the next table over with his friend, and they were just talking about their jobs and their life in general. Then the one guy said the most inconsiderate thing I've ever heard.

"I don't know why it is, but ever since the baby was born [his wife's name] is tired all the time."

Then the other guy agreed that it was odd...

I so wanted to hit both of them with a newspaper.

[hamboy]

Overhearing two people having a discussion about World War 2:

"America joined in 1942"

"No, it was in 1945!"

"I'm pretty sure..."

"No, I know this, ok. USA joined the war 1945, the same year it ended. I thought everybody knew that."
Thats not so bad. All he did was mix up WW1 and WW2. (In WW1, they did join in the last year. The added troops tp the Brits and French was the final crushing blow for Germany.)

[Magneto X]

"Oh, I like Barack Obama. But I think he's ... he's just not experienced enough."

[Typo Lad]

So "not experianced enough" is officially the new term to use for people with dark skin, right? Seems to be.

[Justin D.]

When discussing the origins of morality with some extended family over the holidays.

ME: See your morality is a combination of your cultural traditions and your religious beliefs.

Cousin's Wife: But I have friends who are Jewish and they shake hands when they meet people all the time!

ME: Shaking hands hello is not really a moral. It is more of a kindness. Morality is more like understanding that murdering people is bad.

Cousin's Wife: But that is how I was raised. It is moral to greet someone and show them respect.

Cousin: So you wouldn't kill anybody?

ME: No

Cousin: Not even if they killed your wife?

ME: No

Cousin: Psst.. then you got no F*#% Balls.

it was at this point I stopped talking. When a table full of people all agree that a moral person shows respect by shaking hands but it is OK to murder people then I have noting to say that would ever be understood.

That's awesome. I'd look forward to going there every year. Of course, I'd hate it if it was my family, but think it's hilarious when it's someone else's. Going back for Thanksgiving and Christmas this year?


Here's a good one. My roommate saw that I had Mr. Noodle packages, and accused me of stealing hers. When I produced a receipt showing that I bought them, she said that I could have taken hers back to the store for a refund, and then used the money to buy new ones. :rolleyes:

I pretend she doesn't exist now.

That really seems like the best option.


"What does the meatball sub usually come with?"
"Meatballs, sauce, and cheese"
"No vegetables?"
"No, but we can add them if you want?"
"Eeeeww! Why would I want vegetables on a meatball sub?!"

I have to agree with that person. Vegetables on a meatball sub does sound gross. Unless it's jalapeños or onions.


So "not experianced enough" is officially the new term to use for people with dark skin, right? Seems to be.

Maybe it was stupid compared to the level of experience Bush had before he become president.

I overheard this when talking about Evan Almighty with someone a while back.

"Yeah, but I don't want to see some religious propaganda movie."

[Demon wizard]

once in my High School school some girl asked what primitive meant.

[Spike-X]

"I don't know why it is, but ever since the baby was born [his wife's name] is tired all the time."


"Yeah, what's with that? My wife's the same. She can spend all evening doing the laundry, washing the dishes, feeding the baby, putting the kids to bed, but then, when I want a little attention (if ya know what I mean), all of a sudden she's tired and got no energy!"

[MissKale]

Oooh I forgot one.

I was on the Gamespot Lair boards, no I'm not sure why, I was trying to find a video I think on whether or not the patch fixed the controls (I was bored).

But after about a page there was an argument developing about the nature of objectivity and truth. Albeit without any real understanding they were having the discussion. With one side arguing that the majority believed contrary to the reviewers, and as such the reviewers had to be wrong. The other side said that reviewers were only expressing an opinion and as such they were free to do so. They were resoundingly called pussies and had to be little children for believing that people could have different opinions, because there was a fundamental truth that society agreed on, and that once agreed upon then it would always be right or wrong.

And that furthermore, people with differing opinions were wrong because they weren't following the right opinions...

It was at that point I understood the basis of all wars, oppression and hatred across the ages. Out of the mouths of fanboys.

[Hush Little Batman]

I was talking to this Emo girl I know.


Me: Emo is a stupid phase. You dress all in black and act depressed for no reason.

Her: There's nothing wrong with being Emo.

Me: Yes, there is. You (meaning strictly her) are not depressed about anything. You're just being melancholy for the sake of being melancholy. You weren't abused or neglected growing up and never suffered from anything. There's no point to it.

Her: That's what a twenty year old does.

Me: ...O_o

[Michael P]

She's right, though. Not about Emo not being stupid, but generally, being annoyingly mopey for no reason goes hand-in-hand with being twenty.

[Brad Barton]

She's right, though. Not about Emo not being stupid, but generally, being annoyingly mopey for no reason goes hand-in-hand with being twenty.I suppose it's subjective, but by 20 I was in a serious relationship, living on my own with a full-time job. I know there's no rule that says you can't do all that while being emo, but more often than not, by that time reality has given you a good hard kick in the ass, and you come to realize that wearing a lot of black and being mopey really doesn't serve to better your existence in any way.

I'd say emo is more in line with a 15 year old than a 20 year old, but again, I realize it's subjective.

[Hush Little Batman]

I'd say emo is more in line with a 15 year old than a 20 year old, but again, I realize it's subjective.

The girl I was talking about is 23 and still considers herself a semi-teenager. When I told her that she's a woman and not a teen, she said she (and her friends) feel they don't need to start growing up until 25. :rolleyes:

[Brad Barton]

The girl I was talking about is 23 and says she's giving herself until 25 to fix her problems. :rolleyes:...and then what, she spontaneously combusts?

[Masterbasset]

*Girl picks up an onion ring*

Boy: "You'll think they're really good."

*Girl takes a bite of it and spits it on her plate*

Girl: "Ewwww!"

Me: "What'd you expect, onions taste bad."

Girl: "There are onions in onion rings?"

NO JOKE.

[Super Hero Guy]

my grade 9 English teacher, discussing Elizabethan England before starting on Shakespeare:

"Now, In Shakespeare's time Queen Elizabeth was ruling, and she is of course the grandmother of the current Queen Elizabeth II."

[Michael P]

my grade 9 English teacher, discussing Elizabethan England before starting on Shakespeare:

"Now, In Shakespeare's time Queen Elizabeth was ruling, and she is of course the grandmother of the current Queen Elizabeth II."

Ugh. In 12th grade, I had to take a semester of sophomore level World History (long story, I moved during high school, and shit got fucked up on my transcript). In full senioritis mode, I took a regular course instead of Honors.

Bad idea. The course was taught by a coach. Yeah.

One day, I'm doodling in my notebook and thinking about how I'm going to chat up the cute girl in my next class when I hear, "And so, 2000 years ago this December 25, Jesus was born."

If a person's faith in America dying made a sound, you all would have heard it on a fall day in 1999.

[mattx110]

Ugh. In 12th grade, I had to take a semester of sophomore level World History (long story, I moved during high school, and shit got fucked up on my transcript). In full senioritis mode, I took a regular course instead of Honors.

Bad idea. The course was taught by a coach. Yeah.

One day, I'm doodling in my notebook and thinking about how I'm going to chat up the cute girl in my next class when I hear, "And so, 2000 years ago this December 25, Jesus was born."

If a person's faith in America dying made a sound, you all would have heard it on a fall day in 1999.
i know, that would actually be 2002 years ago to the day.

and this is beside the point, but if after Queen Elizabeth and Queen Victoria, Hillary is the sign that a woman can be president, i will feel so ripped off. there's no way that competes on any level.

and basset, cheapo 25 cent bags of onion rings are awesome processed deepfried looking things. regular onion rings are breaded onion strips. more of an acquired taste. so that's not that bad i think. it's kinda like going to a bar and grill for the first time and asking for a big mac but less obvious.

[Michael P]

i know, that would actually be 2002 years ago to the day.


Not even, given that the December date was arbitrarily designated by the church to co-opt pagan winter solstice celebrations. And then there's the speculation that the modern calendar might be off on Jesus's year of birth by as much as five years.

[Matt Algren]

Not even, given that the December date was arbitrarily designated by the church to co-opt pagan winter solstice celebrations. And then there's the speculation that the modern calendar might be off on Jesus's year of birth by as much as five years.
I'd heard six. And the actual birth, IIRC based on incidental information in the Gospels, has been placed around September (harvest).

We had a Senior Mock-Congress that was put on every year, and the whole class spent a couple days with shortened debates and votes. It was kind of silly, because the size of the classes had grown quite a bit since they started doing this, so to accommodate the inclusion of five issues to be debated, prepared speeches were limited to 45 seconds with rebuttals and such limited to 15 seconds.

This was 1991, and flag burning was somehow a really really incendiary issue (pun intended). One of the high forehead jocks led with "If you want to burn MY flag, you'll have to go through me!!!" Then 3/4 of the class had to clamor to tell him, officially, that he was a complete dumbass in fifteen seconds or less.

To say it was embarrassing would be an understatement.

[mattx110]

Not even, given that the December date was arbitrarily designated by the church to co-opt pagan winter solstice celebrations. And then there's the speculation that the modern calendar might be off on Jesus's year of birth by as much as five years.

i wasn't quite serious. the phrase i like is "christ was born in 3 b.c." because it's so... hilarious. And i do know that the december date was arbitrary. heck, christian holidays were sometimes given the same date as a holiday of people the christians were trying to convert. oddly enough, that strategy worked and people forgot exactly what they were celebrating.

But i thought it would be funny to poke the wrong hole in the statement and pretend not to get the obvious one.

[Demon wizard]

once for a class someone did a "Who wants to be a millionaire" type mock game show and in all seriousness had Julius Ceaser be the answer to "Who was the first Emperor of Rome?"

[Super Hero Guy]

I didn't overhear this one, but a friend told me, so I don't know how true it is:

Two young men talking: What do condoms do anyway? Is it so the dick doesn't hurt when you're having sex?"

[Hush Little Batman]

Today, while waiting in line for breakfast at a deli, this kid comes in and says to a girl he knows:

Guy: Yo, you'll never believe what happened. I was on the bus, and this guy had a seizure.

Girl: Lend me twenty-five cents.

Guy: You heard me? He had a seizure. You know what that is right?

Girl: You mean the haircut?

:eek: I couldn't believe she mistook seizure for ceasar.