Empire/X universe idea feedback

[invader]

I saw the comic book idea thread and well people said i was creative so i decided too make my own universe last year i am 14 years old so i have a long time to develop the universe. My universe is spit in half with my empire heroes and the goverment x heroes. X heroes have no secret identies have got their powers from a goverment program they did this by catching Maginitude and using his blood cells and brain to derive powers and dna codes to produce mega cells in my universe mega cells are evolved cells that enable powers. The goverment then took ordinary people gave them powers and the codename x and allowed them tojoin legon x the goverments controlled group. Anyone with mega cells are classified as ultra beings. This created a pressure on the heroes from the public to either go public

[invader]

Also creating a split in the universe actions. There is no magic the universe is more realistic even though aliens exist. The cape agency the central agency proyecting earth was designed to as an ultrabeing spy law enforcement and army yo tajke down ultra being threats. Every state/ city with population over 250,000 thosand has a hq. Some ultra beings have relations with cape which is an independentorginization funde by the Elite/Galaxy Enterprise fusion. The villan factions range from the Rebellion society the most powerful force as they have reign and axis who are extremly powerful overlooking their massive supercrinimal army. Also the universe most powerful ultra being is in debt to the society. THeir is also the Villans associationwhere most of the powerful independant villnas are interlinked not being in the asociation for freedom of control over their actions. Lastly is the Red flame and his goons he is the only rogue in the flame family but is the most powerful and one of my first creations. Ther are vigilantes but also super powered benemoths and teams. Ther also humans using equipment or were trained or geneticaly at the borderline of becoming an ultra being.

[invader]

Revolution his name is max gardner and is 24 years old espnsoage/nucleur scientist. He was trainde by his parents for both fiekds pursueing the science career under his mom tutlege while applying this info and his other skills as a cape agent just like his father. while he and his twin brother were designing an energy transmitter by using nucluer fusion to combine them. A miscue in timing led to max and his twin being caught in the twin transmitters the energies led to an evolution in max cells giving him various abilties. Max is a genius and a polymath . Once Cape found out they payed max a multimilliondollar salary. He eventually left to spend more time with his wife and her little brother. Max was always in top shape and was 5'3 and 105 lbs at 10 years. At 3 years max was reading fluently. He took algebra at 7 yearsand only his twin could match his intellegnce when he was enrolled at the creative society for chidren minds. He mastered 5 martial arts at the age of 13 and created statergies for the cape agency they did not know that the dad implemented th stratergies. Max went to Enlighted University at 14 the top learning insitute un the empire universe. Max abilties powered from these various energies gave him Enough strength to move the moon out of orbit if it seems stupid he is weaker then superman. His speed is calculated to be over 25,000 mile per hour. When he flies he maintains the same speed. He has superhearing and is able to channel it to one location. He has regenreability he can turn invisible and intangbile. He has super vision same set as superman he can manipulate all forms of enrgy he can shoot out ice and asorb energy he also has limited telekinises. He has some invurnibility and can sense power levels.

[invader]

I am max gardner My story begins 3 yeras ago. I could not believe it my mom named me to head the energy transmitter that cape was going to use. Me and my broher are co leaders on the project. This was going to give me plenty of money to support my wife and her brother. Back to the present inside a cape lab Iactivate the first transmitter My brother does it it to the other one. It doesn't work what do "we have tofix now!!!!" "oliver maybe its asimple miscalculation or the chip is moving a liitle slow" THE transmitter goes off. My life flashes befote my eyes what is going on urrr all this work "It is not going to end here, Oliver are you okay" "no" that would kill anyone but i surived I can not believe this oliver is going to die my body is emiiting energies. Is this it THe whole purpose of the transmitter was a way to transport energies to make a weapon. It worked but on the wrong person I grab oliver My body then release a concussion blast.

Elsewhere

"sidney when is max coming home" "i don't now andrew" "Well i'm out Ever since you married him you decided to control everything He's an scientist/cape dude and I am the leader of the C squad yeah I know I'm a mutnat but teens with the same problem look up to me and you are not helping''

In New york above the skyline "OLiver i can fly I can manipulate and asorb energy I feel ever so powerful almost omnipotnent, I Have superspeed flight strengh invurnibilty sight hearing and manipulation over ice." Oliver wakes up "THE Fairytale is over" MAX "youre alive" OLiver" you don't care but now since our cells are on Equal footing And size doesn't matter its time to elimante you'' OLiver manipulates the wind int o a vortex looks like I got the better end. max flies through and punches oliver in the gut " What is going with you Did the blast have aphysiolagl impact. Oliver" "Not at all max but i nver forgot or forgave took my wife and my money used me as unkowingly test subject Your invention worked only problem was I blocked it I Surived the blast cause I am ulta being and Ishilede you some how a power transfer occured and the energies changed your powers alitle. Yeah i was wrong to take samples from sidney brothers but for you to tell her as a oppurtunity to g et with her and then mindwiped her knowledge of our rlationship does not make you right''
To be continued

[BoosterBronze]

Dude, I would be far more inclined to read, enjoy, and comment on your work if it was puncutated. Spelling and capiliaztion exist so things are easier to read.