Get Your Crass Comic Questions Answered!

[Brian Cronin]

For some reason, there seems to be some sort of fascination with crass questions related to superheroes.

So, I figure, what the heck, I can do a service by congregating them all here, so people can get it out of their system.

So go for it, folks!

Ask all the crass comic questions that are building up in your brains!!

-Brian

[Matthew E]

You mean like this one:

If Mr. Miracle has a 'mother box', shouldn't Dr. Impossible have a 'father rod'?

?

[The Batman]

Did Darth Vader's wang get burned off?

Do characters that get turned into cyborgs still get horny? If so is part of the reason that they're so ill tempered to crazy because they've got no release?

If a cyborg character masturbates with their robotic arm, Cable I am looking at you, is it like they're giving themselves a 'stranger'?

[Sean Walsh]

Does Power Girl's boobs (or Big Barda, or Wonder Woman, or She-Hulk.....whoever) make the motorboat sound when you stick your face in there?

Or, because she's superhuman and such, is it more like a hydrofoil?







God, I'm so alone...

[Kid Kyoto]

What color is (current) supergirl's panties?

Did the 70s hotpants supergirl wear a bra?

Why does wonderwoman's mom let her dress like that?

Having read Man of Steel Woman of Tissue Paper, how do Clark and Lois consumate? Did they have sex before marriage? Were either of them virgins?

Is wonderwoman a virgin?

How about Supergirl?

[Paperghost]

why do we never see anyone address the impracticalities of going for a pee while in full spandex garb?

and (even more importantly) how on earth is Superboy Prime going to do super-poos while trapped in his box thing at the end of infinite crisis?

[Tommy]

How does the Blob have sex?

[Paperghost]

How does the Blob have sex?

and who with?

[Tommy]

and who with?
Possibly Unis's forcefeild could allow for some very odd sex...

[Dan Apodaca]

How does the Blob have sex?

Rape. It's the only way.

[JeffreyWKramer]

and who with?

The Red Skull. They're long-time lovers, they just keep quiet about it.

[Michael P]

Apollo and Midnighter: who's the top, who's the bottom?

[Davideaux]

Did Northstar have relations with Aurora?

[Ryan Day]

Explain the Vision and Scarlet Witch.

In detail.

[Sanagi]

Explain the Vision and Scarlet Witch.

In detail.
Robo-sperm. Millions of them, flying in formation with little jetpacks.

[slam]

Apollo and Midnighter: who's the top, who's the bottom?

I believe that Mark Millar had an interview somewhere in which he said that Apollo pitches and Midnighter catches, and that it's quite obvious when you start writing the characters. :eek:

Question about most costumes: How do you take a potty break in those things?

[Reptisaurus!]

Explain the Vision and Scarlet Witch.

In detail.

I figured an android was basically human, with all the human parts intact.

[Pól Rua]

why do we never see anyone address the impracticalities of going for a pee while in full spandex garb?

and (even more importantly) how on earth is Superboy Prime going to do super-poos while trapped in his box thing at the end of infinite crisis?

'Super-poos' is the best term ever.

[Nitz the Bloody]

If Ultimate Iron Man is a walking bundle of nerve cells, so sensitive that he feels pain from even air exposure, what must an orgasm feel like for him?

[yo go re]

Can Medusa of the Unhumans control ALL her hair like that?

How long did it take Sue Storm to learn how to deep throat? She'd pretty much have to, right?

A friend of mine in elementary school had a rock tumbler. Is that what it sounds like when Ben Grimm masturbates?

Shadowcat falls through the floor when she cums. Whose superpower would be the worst to lose control of at climax?

So have Batman and Catwoman had sex, or what?

Emma Frost - does the carpet match the drapes? Or does she have hardwood floors?

[sgt pepper]

Can Medusa of the Unhumans control ALL her hair like that?

How long did it take Sue Storm to learn how to deep throat? She'd pretty much have to, right?

A friend of mine in elementary school had a rock tumbler. Is that what it sounds like when Ben Grimm masturbates?

Shadowcat falls through the floor when she cums. Whose superpower would be the worst to lose control of at climax?

So have Batman and Catwoman had sex, or what?

Emma Frost - does the carpet match the drapes? Or does she have hardwood floors?

Tee-hee. Good ones.

[the_big_billbowski]

This thread reminds me of Brody from Mallrats talking to Stan Lee. I want more. this stuff is funny. Especially Super Poo.

[yo go re]

I thought of another:

Captain America, Steve Rogers, is from a different time. A time when pre-marital sex just wasn't something people did. Steve still holds a lot of his old ideals, adapting slowly to the modern world, and he isn't married. Therefore, has Cap ever gotten laid?

[swinebread]

I thought of another:

Captain America, Steve Rogers, is from a different time. A time when pre-marital sex just wasn't something people did. Steve still holds a lot of his old ideals, adapting slowly to the modern world, and he isn't married. Therefore, has Cap ever gotten laid?

Cap was a soldier in WW II! Soldiers are expected to get laid especially if they are in a war ‘cause they could die tomorrow.

[Rob on the Job]

What color is the Thing's poop?

When the Hulk farts, do shock waves ensue?

Does Medusa's hair ... uh ... down there have the same ability as the hair on top of her head?

[Rob on the Job]

How do Daredevil and Dr. Midnight know when to stop wiping their butts?

How does Aquaman know when he has BO?

If Bizarro is the reverse of Superman, does this mean he eats through his anus and poops through his mouth [thanks, South Park]?

[Sean Walsh]

Ok, are we getting these questions answered at any point?

I mean........totally outraged by the false advertising of this thread's title over here....

:p :p

[Reptisaurus!]

How do Daredevil and Dr. Midnight know when to stop wiping their butts?


Question One: Do YOU look at your bottom when you're wiping?

Corrolary to Question One: How?

[Brad Curran]

Robo-sperm. Millions of them, flying in formation with little jetpacks.

That's a scene Geoff Darrow was born to draw. Also; bwa-ha-ha!

[Omar Karindu]

If the Batman practiced to be the best at all physical skills, does that mean he's the best lay in the DCU? And if so, how did he study for it?

Howard the Duck and Bev Switzer...How?

Did the Black Cat's "bad luck" curse affect everything during her relationship with Spider-Man?

Is Cable just overcompensating with those huge guns?

Is it just me, or is Sand Saref way hotter than P'Gell or Silk Satin?

[sgt pepper]

Question One: Do YOU look at your bottom when you're wiping?

Corrolary to Question One: How?

No super power needed for this one. Philosophers spent millenia trying to solve the puzzle of how to look at one's ass, but it was eventually solved by Descartes who wrote "Cogito ergo sum" which translates to "If the paper is brown or black, reach around back; if the paper is white, everything is all right."

I believe Daredevil has developed some kind of echo-location that allows him to check the color of his t.p. Or maybe he has Foggy do it for him?

[diablo7]

this is more of a theory than question....superman = supervirigin....there's no way this guy's getting laid...he has super everything therefore his sperm would shoot out like bullets, therefore killing any mortal woman...and lois is still alive so that proves it...if not he would blow a hole through her head or rip through her insides...and if i'm not mistaken rucka did a story where wonderwoman lost her virginity so her and supes never did it....poor supes