Hell?

[Hybrid2]

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that
the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of
course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Here is the professor's "Bonus Question": Is Hell exothermic (gives off
heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their belief using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once
a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
different Religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order
for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume
of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and
take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then
number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and
has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since
Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more
souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven . . . thereby
proving the existence of a divine being . . . which explains why, last
night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

[PatrickG]

I'm going on a gut instinct that this is a college professor urban myth.

College professors belittle student's urban myths (ie. the 15 Minute Rule -- which I have found some basis for) but often champion myths which make themselves and their peers appear clever or which make their students seem especially irreverent, sex-crazed, alcohol-crazed or drug-addled.

I suspect this is to reinforce a self-imposed notion of themselves as especially clever and civilized and tends to make teaching undergraduates akin to handing out gunpowder and matches to cavemen.

This professor gets to pat himself on the back for teaching his student to be so clever, indicates that most of his students are not so clever and gets an amusing little anecdote to tell at dinner parties.

I think college professors are especially prone to myths of these sort because:

A) They trust their peers as being less fallible than non-academics.

B) It engages in a sort of self-gratification to make up for their status as overworked and underpaid to engage in a bit of classist fun against their students.

C) It makes them look generous and witty for rewarding an unconventional student response.

[ChthonicSpirit]

Urban myth or not, that is hilarious.

[Hybrid2]

Urban myth or not, that is hilarious.


Well that's why i posted this here.:p

[Gozwald73]

I'm going on a gut instinct that this is a college professor urban myth.

College professors belittle student's urban myths (ie. the 15 Minute Rule -- which I have found some basis for) but often champion myths which make themselves and their peers appear clever or which make their students seem especially irreverent, sex-crazed, alcohol-crazed or drug-addled.

I suspect this is to reinforce a self-imposed notion of themselves as especially clever and civilized and tends to make teaching undergraduates akin to handing out gunpowder and matches to cavemen.

This professor gets to pat himself on the back for teaching his student to be so clever, indicates that most of his students are not so clever and gets an amusing little anecdote to tell at dinner parties.

I think college professors are especially prone to myths of these sort because:

A) They trust their peers as being less fallible than non-academics.

B) It engages in a sort of self-gratification to make up for their status as overworked and underpaid to engage in a bit of classist fun against their students.

C) It makes them look generous and witty for rewarding an unconventional student response.

Wow you sound like my SOH, and I'll give you the same advice I give him: "Stop eating Grumpy-Bix for breakfast! Have some Fun Flakes instead!"

It was funny - who cares whether it stroked someone's ego or not. It made me smile, and that's all that really matters :)