Jack Zodiac
11-12-2006, 02:49 PM
Last night, I went out with my girlfriend, her brother, and a bunch of friends from his work, because he's moving to California in a couple of weeks and we wanted to get in one last night of drinking and bowling ('cause that's about all there is to do in Ohio) before he left. There were about ten of us and only eight of us bowling, so we split two lanes and started playing. I was off my game all night, so I wound up buying four beer frames. For those who have better things to do than drink and bowl, a "beer frame" is when everybody but one person gets a strike, and that last person who didn't has to buy a round or pitcher of beer.
I hate bowling alley beer. It's all Miller or Budweiser. They had Killian's, but even that tastes like piss anymore. So, I stomached four pitchers of Miller and bowled until two in the morning. Afterwards, some of the folks went home and the rest of us did the next logical thing and went to IHOP drunk, 'cause third-shifters love drunks. Only eight of us wound up going, so they had to push two tables together in the smoking section to fit us all.
You get drunk, you act stupid. Simple fact. My girlfriend's brother grabbed two kiddy placemats and two boxes of crayons before we went back into the smoking section. We sat in a booth seat with a second table at the end right next to the wall between sections, and there were four guys in the booth next to us on the other side of the wall. The one guy keeps looking over at us when we get loud with these squinty eyes, and at first I thought he was stoned, but he very well just could've been tired. So my girlfriend's brother writes "Are you high?" on a napkin and slams it up against the window, and the table busts out. So the guy shakes his head no, and I write on my napkin, "Awwww!" A minute later, he draws an arrow pointing to himself on the napkin with "Off duty cop" below it and slams it against the window.
Now, not that it matters, but I'm betting that was a joke. Either way, my girlfriend's brother started laughing a lot, and he writes "It's okay, I'm not high, I'm drunk" on the other side of his napkin and slams it against the window. And then I write "But I'm driving, and fairly sober" on mine, got a pretty good laught out of both tables, and continued the late night ritual of eating greasy breakfast food on a stomach full of beer. Sometimes I wonder if the people that work that shift are entertained by the number of drunks that must come in at that time of the morning. Either way, whenever a bunch of us drink and go eat afterwards, that waiter or waitress gets a fuckin' awesome tip.
Afterwards, we came back home, split a Stone Smoked Porter double-duece and a couple of Oaked Arrogant Bastards and watched "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" until six in the morning.
A fun, mild drunk story. I've got some bad ones, but I'd rather hear some of yours. Fun, bad, whatever. Drunk stories are always pretty entertaining.
I hate bowling alley beer. It's all Miller or Budweiser. They had Killian's, but even that tastes like piss anymore. So, I stomached four pitchers of Miller and bowled until two in the morning. Afterwards, some of the folks went home and the rest of us did the next logical thing and went to IHOP drunk, 'cause third-shifters love drunks. Only eight of us wound up going, so they had to push two tables together in the smoking section to fit us all.
You get drunk, you act stupid. Simple fact. My girlfriend's brother grabbed two kiddy placemats and two boxes of crayons before we went back into the smoking section. We sat in a booth seat with a second table at the end right next to the wall between sections, and there were four guys in the booth next to us on the other side of the wall. The one guy keeps looking over at us when we get loud with these squinty eyes, and at first I thought he was stoned, but he very well just could've been tired. So my girlfriend's brother writes "Are you high?" on a napkin and slams it up against the window, and the table busts out. So the guy shakes his head no, and I write on my napkin, "Awwww!" A minute later, he draws an arrow pointing to himself on the napkin with "Off duty cop" below it and slams it against the window.
Now, not that it matters, but I'm betting that was a joke. Either way, my girlfriend's brother started laughing a lot, and he writes "It's okay, I'm not high, I'm drunk" on the other side of his napkin and slams it against the window. And then I write "But I'm driving, and fairly sober" on mine, got a pretty good laught out of both tables, and continued the late night ritual of eating greasy breakfast food on a stomach full of beer. Sometimes I wonder if the people that work that shift are entertained by the number of drunks that must come in at that time of the morning. Either way, whenever a bunch of us drink and go eat afterwards, that waiter or waitress gets a fuckin' awesome tip.
Afterwards, we came back home, split a Stone Smoked Porter double-duece and a couple of Oaked Arrogant Bastards and watched "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" until six in the morning.
A fun, mild drunk story. I've got some bad ones, but I'd rather hear some of yours. Fun, bad, whatever. Drunk stories are always pretty entertaining.