JerrBear81
10-28-2006, 10:36 PM
I know this doesn't belong here, but I wanted everyone to see it before it was moved. I may have posted it before on this site... but I have way too many topics to be searching through...
Yes this proves my sanity (Read at your Own Risk, my Clifford: The Big Red Dog script):
Disclaimer: I do not own Clifford: The Big Red Dog nor it's characters. This is only a parody.
Clifford Script-Writing
Title: Clifford The Big Rabid Dog!
Opening Scene: Emily walks into the backyard to find Clifford foaming at the mouth. Wondering what's wrong, naturally, she walks up to him and asks. The day is sunny and warm, with a slight breeze.
Emily: (Concerned look) What's wrong, Clifford?
Clifford: (Growls at Emily)
Emily: Clifford, are you ok?
Clifford: (Foams some more at the mouth while growling, barks at Emily, then takes a bite at her arm and shakes her around like a ragdoll)
Emily: (Screaming in terror) Clifford please! I love you! MOOOM, DAAAAD!
Scene: Emily's parents run out of the house and panic as they see Clifford mauling their daughter. They grab her by her legs and pull with all of their strength.
Emily's Mom: (Panicky Voice) Don't worry, honey! We'll save you! Let go of her you BIG RED BASTARD!
Emily: (Sobbing) It hurt's Mommy! Like watching Barbera Streisand in concert!
Emily's Dad: Let her GOOOO!
Scene: Emily's arm is ripped off as her parents tug one final time.
Emily: (Screaming in pain, blood gushing forth everywhere from her new stump) I HATE YOU CLIFFORD!
Scene: Clifford growls at them then snaps his drooling jaws forward, eating Emily's Mom alive! As Clifford runs away, Emily and her father can only watch in horror!
Emily: (Sobbing in greif and horror) Mooommmyyy! NOOOO! (Cries in her daddy's arms) What's wrong with Clifford, daaadddyyyy!?
Emily's Dad: I'm afraid he has rabies, Honey. He'll have to be put down. I feared this day would come.
Scene: Emily's Dad calls the local police. But even he fears that they won't be enough...
New Opening Scene: Clifford encounters his fellow dog friends: T-Bone, Cleo, and Mac. They wonder what's wrong with him.
Cleo: (Concerned) Clifford, you're not looking so good.
Clifford: (Slurring) I donn't freel sooo good, Cleo...(Gets glazed look in his eyes) Braaaaaaaaaaaiiiinnnssss!
Mac: (Backing away) No, Clifford! Please don't!
Scene: Clifford bites down upon Mac in front of his friends and rips off his face.
Mac: (In horror) MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!! NOOOOOOOOOO! (Swallows own tongue and kills self)
T-Bone: (Watches in Horror) Nooo! Not my gay lover! I HATE YOU, CLIFFORD!
Scene: As T-Bone cries in Cleo's arms, Clifford is chewing through Mac's skull to his delicious brains.
Cleo: (Outraged) Clifford! How could you!? Shame on you!
Clifford: (While mouth full) BRAAAAAINNNNNNS!
Scene: Clifford runs off in search of more victims. Cleo and T-Bone follow him, trying to warn pedestrians by barking at them. No such luck, as Clifford eats Pedestrian by Pedestrian. Meanwhile, a blockade of Police Cars has formed up to stop Clifford. Emily Elizabeth, and her two friends Charley and Jetta, are there.
Police Chief: (Talks into bull horn) Cease and Desist!
Scene: Clifford growls and plows into the blockade, instantly killing a few cops while maiming others for life!
Cleo: (Stands in front of Clifford) Clifford, stop!
Jetta: Nooo, Cleo!!
Clifford: (Eats Cleo alive, Cleo's death rattle sounds ominously)
Jetta: (Looks around panicked) Where's Mac!? (Spots his collar hanging between two of Clifford's teeth) NOOOOOOOOOO! (Let's out a Xena Warcry and lunges at Clifford with a knife drawn)
Charley: Jetta, no!
Scene: Clifford knocks Jetta down with a paw, then he bites off her lower torso. Jetta drags her upper half towards her friends and begins trying to put her trailing intenstines back up her stomach, with no success.
Jetta: (Weak-Voiced) I told you, Charley! This is what happens when you don't continually let the poor know they're lower than us...(Gurgles blood and dies as glaring at Emily)
Charley: (Turns an accusing look at Emily) This is all of your fault! (Grabs a gun from a fallen cop and sticks it in his mouth, blowing his own brains out)
Emily: (Turns to her dad) How do we stop Clifford, daddy!?
Emily's Dad: (Shakes head and grabs a bazooka) With this, honey. With this.
Emily: (Grabs Bazooka from dad) No, dad. He's my dog. I'll do it. (Aims Bazooka at Clifford) I love you boy!
Scene: The Bazooka fires, but unfortunately it was facing the wrong way. In addition with taking out Clifford, Emily and her Dad are caught in the blast. Three days later, Emily wakes up in the hospital missing a face and her appendages. She hears doctors talking, and starts banging her head against the pillow.
Nurse Katie: Doctor, what is she doing?
Dr. Johnson: (Watches intently, eyes widen) Oh my God...it's morse code.
Nurse Katie: Morse code? What does she say?
Dr. Johnson: (Shakes his head) She's saying, "Kill me! Kill me now!", she's saying, "Kill me! Kill me now!". Or she's saying, "Give me a strawberry Milkshake." My morse code is a little sloppy.
The End
It's official, I'm going to Hell.
Destroying one childhood icon at a time...
Yes this proves my sanity (Read at your Own Risk, my Clifford: The Big Red Dog script):
Disclaimer: I do not own Clifford: The Big Red Dog nor it's characters. This is only a parody.
Clifford Script-Writing
Title: Clifford The Big Rabid Dog!
Opening Scene: Emily walks into the backyard to find Clifford foaming at the mouth. Wondering what's wrong, naturally, she walks up to him and asks. The day is sunny and warm, with a slight breeze.
Emily: (Concerned look) What's wrong, Clifford?
Clifford: (Growls at Emily)
Emily: Clifford, are you ok?
Clifford: (Foams some more at the mouth while growling, barks at Emily, then takes a bite at her arm and shakes her around like a ragdoll)
Emily: (Screaming in terror) Clifford please! I love you! MOOOM, DAAAAD!
Scene: Emily's parents run out of the house and panic as they see Clifford mauling their daughter. They grab her by her legs and pull with all of their strength.
Emily's Mom: (Panicky Voice) Don't worry, honey! We'll save you! Let go of her you BIG RED BASTARD!
Emily: (Sobbing) It hurt's Mommy! Like watching Barbera Streisand in concert!
Emily's Dad: Let her GOOOO!
Scene: Emily's arm is ripped off as her parents tug one final time.
Emily: (Screaming in pain, blood gushing forth everywhere from her new stump) I HATE YOU CLIFFORD!
Scene: Clifford growls at them then snaps his drooling jaws forward, eating Emily's Mom alive! As Clifford runs away, Emily and her father can only watch in horror!
Emily: (Sobbing in greif and horror) Mooommmyyy! NOOOO! (Cries in her daddy's arms) What's wrong with Clifford, daaadddyyyy!?
Emily's Dad: I'm afraid he has rabies, Honey. He'll have to be put down. I feared this day would come.
Scene: Emily's Dad calls the local police. But even he fears that they won't be enough...
New Opening Scene: Clifford encounters his fellow dog friends: T-Bone, Cleo, and Mac. They wonder what's wrong with him.
Cleo: (Concerned) Clifford, you're not looking so good.
Clifford: (Slurring) I donn't freel sooo good, Cleo...(Gets glazed look in his eyes) Braaaaaaaaaaaiiiinnnssss!
Mac: (Backing away) No, Clifford! Please don't!
Scene: Clifford bites down upon Mac in front of his friends and rips off his face.
Mac: (In horror) MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!! NOOOOOOOOOO! (Swallows own tongue and kills self)
T-Bone: (Watches in Horror) Nooo! Not my gay lover! I HATE YOU, CLIFFORD!
Scene: As T-Bone cries in Cleo's arms, Clifford is chewing through Mac's skull to his delicious brains.
Cleo: (Outraged) Clifford! How could you!? Shame on you!
Clifford: (While mouth full) BRAAAAAINNNNNNS!
Scene: Clifford runs off in search of more victims. Cleo and T-Bone follow him, trying to warn pedestrians by barking at them. No such luck, as Clifford eats Pedestrian by Pedestrian. Meanwhile, a blockade of Police Cars has formed up to stop Clifford. Emily Elizabeth, and her two friends Charley and Jetta, are there.
Police Chief: (Talks into bull horn) Cease and Desist!
Scene: Clifford growls and plows into the blockade, instantly killing a few cops while maiming others for life!
Cleo: (Stands in front of Clifford) Clifford, stop!
Jetta: Nooo, Cleo!!
Clifford: (Eats Cleo alive, Cleo's death rattle sounds ominously)
Jetta: (Looks around panicked) Where's Mac!? (Spots his collar hanging between two of Clifford's teeth) NOOOOOOOOOO! (Let's out a Xena Warcry and lunges at Clifford with a knife drawn)
Charley: Jetta, no!
Scene: Clifford knocks Jetta down with a paw, then he bites off her lower torso. Jetta drags her upper half towards her friends and begins trying to put her trailing intenstines back up her stomach, with no success.
Jetta: (Weak-Voiced) I told you, Charley! This is what happens when you don't continually let the poor know they're lower than us...(Gurgles blood and dies as glaring at Emily)
Charley: (Turns an accusing look at Emily) This is all of your fault! (Grabs a gun from a fallen cop and sticks it in his mouth, blowing his own brains out)
Emily: (Turns to her dad) How do we stop Clifford, daddy!?
Emily's Dad: (Shakes head and grabs a bazooka) With this, honey. With this.
Emily: (Grabs Bazooka from dad) No, dad. He's my dog. I'll do it. (Aims Bazooka at Clifford) I love you boy!
Scene: The Bazooka fires, but unfortunately it was facing the wrong way. In addition with taking out Clifford, Emily and her Dad are caught in the blast. Three days later, Emily wakes up in the hospital missing a face and her appendages. She hears doctors talking, and starts banging her head against the pillow.
Nurse Katie: Doctor, what is she doing?
Dr. Johnson: (Watches intently, eyes widen) Oh my God...it's morse code.
Nurse Katie: Morse code? What does she say?
Dr. Johnson: (Shakes his head) She's saying, "Kill me! Kill me now!", she's saying, "Kill me! Kill me now!". Or she's saying, "Give me a strawberry Milkshake." My morse code is a little sloppy.
The End
It's official, I'm going to Hell.
Destroying one childhood icon at a time...