Mitsaso
10-11-2006, 11:53 AM
So, Kyle and Yost's big ass mamajama of an arc comes to a finale, and boy, it does not dissapoint! The guys might have started with ambiguous quality and way too much flash but this ending is going to please both fans and haters of their run! How come? I'll tell you later...
So, the issue picks up right after the big explosion in the end of last issue, and it turns out that everybody's alive, since Julian used his teke to protect the New X-Men & Forge from the explosion and Santo used his strength to keep the debris from falling on their heads. Julian has fainted but he's coming to his senses anytime now, while Forge got hit on the head and is mouthing crazy talk. lol! Meanwhile, the cuckoos use Cerebra to track them and Emma with Cyke are informed, but they're too far away to do anything on time.
Nimrod has dug his way to where the New X-Men are and the big fight begins. The kids try to fight him but Nimrod emits a big energy flash that scatters them around. He then tries to kill Hellion, but Santo has a melodramatic flashback of NOT saving Tag back when the bus exploded and this prompts him to get in the way of Nimrod's disintegrating beam. BOOOM!!!! R.I.P. Santo, aka Rockslide. Alas, we knew thee not so well, and you were not that interesting to begin with.:D
So, millions of little Santo pieces fill the air, like a rain of comets in a moonlighted summer night. But alas, the other New X-Men don't find it as romantic and Julian's mouth slips. Language, young man!!! He and Surge attack, while Cess is picking at Santo's pieces. Part of his face is around there, lol.
Meanwhile, David runs off. Just kidding! Turns out he's running to the Blacbird; no, he didn't forgot to turn the engine off, he simply has some kind of Plan B stashed under his seat. He returns with a big ass gun that he OBVIOUSLY stole from Cable and attacks Nimrod with it, making himself a target too. And THAT'S all that David does in this issue. He strikes ONCE at Nimrod and then relegates himself to trying to talk the other kids out of the plan that brought them the victory in the end. Not so much of a key-player as some expected him to be, after all.:D
Hellion and Dust fight with Nimrod as the others just stand around calmly and talk. WTF?? They explain their plan, and thank god the exposition only takes up a page or two or else it would have been too much standing doing nothing but talking for an apocalyptic, everyone-will-die! fight. Surge takes off her gloves and the New X-Men attack. X-23 lashes at Nimrod and gets burnt to a crisp. Turns out that not only one New X-Man would die this issue, as the solicits had said. Her crispy, well-roasted body falls to the side and we get a pretty close up to it. Anybody want a slice? It looks de-licious!!!
Well, X-23 got to do her part of the plan before she got roasted, which was to slice Nimrod's belly open to expose the only part of his new body that wasn't Nimrod; the time-machine part. Cessily manages to keep Nimrod's belly open before he heals himself, and it's up to Surge to do the dirty work... she puts her hands inside of Nimrod's open belly and Lo! A baby is delivered from it! Nahhh, kidding again, she just releases all the energy she stores into the time machine part to make it overload and destroy Nimrod. So, Nimrod is about to blow up through space and time and also take Surge with him, and last things she manages to say is "David, I've always loved you..."... before Julian gets tired of her drama-queen act and telekinetically pries her apart from Nimrod.
And that's it. Nimrod is gone. Can't say I'll miss him, but he still owed me some money. Damn robots!!! Meanwhile, Mercury is crying over Santo's 1,000,458 pieces, but her magic tears bring him back to life and he starts reforming!!! (ok I lied about the magic tears part, but Keller helps him reform with his teke.) Santo is cooler-looking than before, like an edgy stone pokemon from 6 years back! Cool.
Turns out X-23 is the only one who might die, after all. Her hair is burnt, her clothes and sking are burnt, damn, she looks like Stacy X now!! Julian grabs her well-roasted body and begins flying back to the mansion, where Elixir might help her. He doesn't have time, though, Laura isn't regenerating as usual, she dying on his arms!!! And she smells like roast beef. So Emma telepathically unlocks his potential with his powers and he flies back to the mansion in mach levels, digging a gole through a ONE sentinel too! He wakes Elixir up and Josh not only heals her, but he also turns (partially) back to gold! Well, he's mostly gold with some black parts now. I wish he would decide on a skin colour already!!! Oh, and X-23 is looking hot in her almost-burnt off clothes, there's so little cloth fabric left that Stacy X would turn green with envy!
Epilogue 1: Some Purifier left-overs manage to get Stryker's body for a proper burial. Matthew Rinsman seems to be the new leader, and a skanky assasin named Kimura seems to be aiding him.
Epilogue 2: Nimrod ends up in his first appearance, in Ucanny X-Men #192, completing the circle.
I hope you liked my summary, and I didn't enrage you too much with my tongue-in-cheek spoilers!
So, the issue picks up right after the big explosion in the end of last issue, and it turns out that everybody's alive, since Julian used his teke to protect the New X-Men & Forge from the explosion and Santo used his strength to keep the debris from falling on their heads. Julian has fainted but he's coming to his senses anytime now, while Forge got hit on the head and is mouthing crazy talk. lol! Meanwhile, the cuckoos use Cerebra to track them and Emma with Cyke are informed, but they're too far away to do anything on time.
Nimrod has dug his way to where the New X-Men are and the big fight begins. The kids try to fight him but Nimrod emits a big energy flash that scatters them around. He then tries to kill Hellion, but Santo has a melodramatic flashback of NOT saving Tag back when the bus exploded and this prompts him to get in the way of Nimrod's disintegrating beam. BOOOM!!!! R.I.P. Santo, aka Rockslide. Alas, we knew thee not so well, and you were not that interesting to begin with.:D
So, millions of little Santo pieces fill the air, like a rain of comets in a moonlighted summer night. But alas, the other New X-Men don't find it as romantic and Julian's mouth slips. Language, young man!!! He and Surge attack, while Cess is picking at Santo's pieces. Part of his face is around there, lol.
Meanwhile, David runs off. Just kidding! Turns out he's running to the Blacbird; no, he didn't forgot to turn the engine off, he simply has some kind of Plan B stashed under his seat. He returns with a big ass gun that he OBVIOUSLY stole from Cable and attacks Nimrod with it, making himself a target too. And THAT'S all that David does in this issue. He strikes ONCE at Nimrod and then relegates himself to trying to talk the other kids out of the plan that brought them the victory in the end. Not so much of a key-player as some expected him to be, after all.:D
Hellion and Dust fight with Nimrod as the others just stand around calmly and talk. WTF?? They explain their plan, and thank god the exposition only takes up a page or two or else it would have been too much standing doing nothing but talking for an apocalyptic, everyone-will-die! fight. Surge takes off her gloves and the New X-Men attack. X-23 lashes at Nimrod and gets burnt to a crisp. Turns out that not only one New X-Man would die this issue, as the solicits had said. Her crispy, well-roasted body falls to the side and we get a pretty close up to it. Anybody want a slice? It looks de-licious!!!
Well, X-23 got to do her part of the plan before she got roasted, which was to slice Nimrod's belly open to expose the only part of his new body that wasn't Nimrod; the time-machine part. Cessily manages to keep Nimrod's belly open before he heals himself, and it's up to Surge to do the dirty work... she puts her hands inside of Nimrod's open belly and Lo! A baby is delivered from it! Nahhh, kidding again, she just releases all the energy she stores into the time machine part to make it overload and destroy Nimrod. So, Nimrod is about to blow up through space and time and also take Surge with him, and last things she manages to say is "David, I've always loved you..."... before Julian gets tired of her drama-queen act and telekinetically pries her apart from Nimrod.
And that's it. Nimrod is gone. Can't say I'll miss him, but he still owed me some money. Damn robots!!! Meanwhile, Mercury is crying over Santo's 1,000,458 pieces, but her magic tears bring him back to life and he starts reforming!!! (ok I lied about the magic tears part, but Keller helps him reform with his teke.) Santo is cooler-looking than before, like an edgy stone pokemon from 6 years back! Cool.
Turns out X-23 is the only one who might die, after all. Her hair is burnt, her clothes and sking are burnt, damn, she looks like Stacy X now!! Julian grabs her well-roasted body and begins flying back to the mansion, where Elixir might help her. He doesn't have time, though, Laura isn't regenerating as usual, she dying on his arms!!! And she smells like roast beef. So Emma telepathically unlocks his potential with his powers and he flies back to the mansion in mach levels, digging a gole through a ONE sentinel too! He wakes Elixir up and Josh not only heals her, but he also turns (partially) back to gold! Well, he's mostly gold with some black parts now. I wish he would decide on a skin colour already!!! Oh, and X-23 is looking hot in her almost-burnt off clothes, there's so little cloth fabric left that Stacy X would turn green with envy!
Epilogue 1: Some Purifier left-overs manage to get Stryker's body for a proper burial. Matthew Rinsman seems to be the new leader, and a skanky assasin named Kimura seems to be aiding him.
Epilogue 2: Nimrod ends up in his first appearance, in Ucanny X-Men #192, completing the circle.
I hope you liked my summary, and I didn't enrage you too much with my tongue-in-cheek spoilers!