the WORST movies created by the hands of man [Archive]

Dalak

10-10-2006, 09:02 PM

The correct answer is Manos: The... Hands... of Fate.

Oh you haven't seen ZOmbie vs Ninja have you?

They edited together a Japaneese undead movie where someone learns how to create and control zombies with american Ninjas wearing White, Black, and Yellow Shiny Vynil Ninja Gear with headbands signifying their alliegances (Ninja and Nin Ja specifically)

lushe

10-10-2006, 09:06 PM

Oh you haven't seen ZOmbie vs Ninja have you?

They edited together a Japaneese undead movie where someone learns how to create and control zombies with american Ninjas wearing White, Black, and Yellow Shiny Vynil Ninja Gear with headbands signifying their alliegances (Ninja and Nin Ja specifically) I haven't is it worse than that dragonball z live action movie something of the magic beans

Anthony Johanson

10-10-2006, 09:08 PM

Ready to Rumble *weeps*

lushe

10-10-2006, 09:09 PM

Ready to Rumble *weeps* hell yeah LOL

what about spice world

The MunchKING

10-10-2006, 09:13 PM

The correct answer is Manos: The... Hands... of Fate.

Oh Gawd... Even Mike and the bots couldn't save that...

Kholdhearted

10-10-2006, 09:19 PM

You are all wrong, the worst movie ever made was Undead.

Its actually so horrible that I doubt anyone on this board has watched it.

Crimson King

10-10-2006, 09:22 PM

Whore of the worlds.

I mean WAR of the Worlds.(new one)

The Mirrorball Man

10-10-2006, 09:23 PM

One of the worst movies I've seen recently is "Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children", but at least it is pretty to look at.

"Manos, the Hands of Fate" is a good challenger for the coveted title of worst movie ever. Although "Incubus", a horror movie in Esperanto starring William Shatner, is a strong contender too.

sir_talis

10-10-2006, 09:23 PM

I can't believe that no one here has mentioned Battlefield Earth and Stephen King's Dreamcatcher. These two God-awful nut filled turds deserve to be in a category of their own when it comes to bad movies.

Far From Realmer

10-10-2006, 09:24 PM

Oh Gawd... Even Mike and the bots couldn't save that...
LOL you said Gawd.

I think many a scifi orginal falls under this catagory.

Genma:TheDestroyer

10-10-2006, 09:28 PM

House of the Dead.

BloodRayne.

Alone in the Dark.

lushe

10-10-2006, 09:34 PM

The Dog

10-10-2006, 09:36 PM

LOL you said Gawd.

I think many a scifi orginal falls under this catagory.

Hey now. The Scifi originals aren't bad, just... seem to fall into the cliched formula of whatever type of Scifi movie genre they're in. But they're miles better than the rest of the crap on this list.

Fallman

10-10-2006, 09:38 PM

Most of the SciFi channel original drek is too mediocre to really deserve a list on anything.

It always kind of surprises me that the series are so good and the movies are so bad.

Ghengis

10-10-2006, 09:45 PM

Marabunta or Legion of Fire: Killer Ants!

GrimShadow

10-10-2006, 09:57 PM

Hey now. The Scifi originals aren't bad, just... seem to fall into the cliched formula of whatever type of Scifi movie genre they're in. But they're miles better than the rest of the crap on this list.

I cant feel yah when it comes to X-3 but compared to the other movies listed I do agree with you on that one.

biggsdacat

10-10-2006, 10:09 PM

House of the Dead.

BloodRayne.

Alone in the Dark.

Co-muthafuckin-signed! Jesus! Those were some of the worst films in history. What the hell was up with everyone in house of the dead being an expert shot, and combat ready. WTF!

Add Are you scared to that list, and you have the perfect torture method.

The Dog

10-10-2006, 10:13 PM

Most of the SciFi channel original drek is too mediocre to really deserve a list on anything.

It always kind of surprises me that the series are so good and the movies are so bad.

TV shows should not be made into movies. Most can't go from the 30 minute format to a 90+ minute format.

rick

10-10-2006, 10:14 PM

I say X3 is up in the to 10 what about you guys.

In a world that has produced films as wonderful as The Apple, Flashdance and the Paris Hilton version of House of Wax, X3 doesn't even begin to make the list.

K.O.V.G

10-10-2006, 10:20 PM

all the comic book movies they made suck period spiderman 3 is gonna suck eric forman from that 70's show as venom I know it's going to hell now. I think they should just leave the comics alone and focus more on animation.

Guts/Batman

10-10-2006, 10:37 PM

Do you have a bias against comic book movies? Are you actively comparing the movies to the comics themselves?

Kage Kisaragi

10-10-2006, 10:43 PM

not all comic book movies are bad, the christopher reeve superman movies were pretty good, the last one though was kind of iffy. Michael Keaton as Batman in the first two movies was good to.

Kuro

10-10-2006, 10:49 PM

Resident Evil Apocolypse

Vaders shoeshine boy

10-10-2006, 11:06 PM

1)Dungeonmaster

Starring Richard Moll

2)Leonard Part 6

Starring Bill Cosby

Tha sad part? I saw these two in the theater:o

Dalak

10-10-2006, 11:09 PM

You are all wrong, the worst movie ever made was Undead.

Its actually so horrible that I doubt anyone on this board has watched it.

Yes I've seen it, and I found teh "Amish Ass-Pistols" bit to be hilarious.

For those of you that don't know one of the survivors looks almost like an amish farmer, but it turns out he owned a gun shop. At one point he snaps his arms out straight from his sides and 2 pistols fly up from his overalls and arc right back down into his hands, and he starts firing away at the Zombies.

Vaders shoeshine boy

10-10-2006, 11:09 PM

TV shows should not be made into movies. Most can't go from the 30 minute format to a 90+ minute format.

It usually works better the other way around. Unfortunately,the only examples I can think of are M.A.S.H.,The Odd Couple and Alice.:D

Dalak

10-10-2006, 11:11 PM

Oh Gawd... Even Mike and the bots couldn't save that...

Even though it was Joel that faced that one, and survived it.

On the whole I like Joel better, but I'm not about to get in a Joel vs Mike war here. It's been done too many times.

The MunchKING

10-10-2006, 11:31 PM

Even though it was Joel that faced that one, and survived it. Whichever, for the first half hour of the movie, it was like their only joke was "This is Manos: Hands of Fate" With different inflections....

Dalak

10-10-2006, 11:35 PM

for the first half hour of the movie, it was like their only joke was "This is Manos: Hands of Fate" With different inflections....

For the first half hour the people in the movie were driving past farms and such, not much to make fun of. THey couldn't make teh movie watchable I'll admit, but the running gags with Torgo in the series were worth it.

sharkerbob

10-10-2006, 11:40 PM

Whichever, for the first half hour of the movie, it was like their only joke was "This is Manos: Hands of Fate" With different inflections....

Hence the way I phrased it. Manos, the... Hands... of Fate.

Jebus H. CHristmas, you know a movie has hit a new low when even the MST3K crew can't do anything but utter the movies title repeatedly in helpless attempts to find humor in such dreck.

The MunchKING

10-10-2006, 11:44 PM

Hence the way I phrased it. Manos, the... Hands... of Fate.

Jebus H. CHristmas, you know a movie has hit a new low when even the MST3K crew can't do anything but utter the movies title repeatedly in helpless attempts to find humor in such dreck.

Like I said, even they couldn't save that show...

Adrian Tullberg

10-10-2006, 11:53 PM

Yes I've seen it, and I found teh "Amish Ass-Pistols" bit to be hilarious.

For those of you that don't know one of the survivors looks almost like an amish farmer, but it turns out he owned a gun shop. At one point he snaps his arms out straight from his sides and 2 pistols fly up from his overalls and arc right back down into his hands, and he starts firing away at the Zombies.

Made in Queensland, wasn't it?

Here's some clips ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtaQB82cfVo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2JTRarQTUE

Dalak

10-10-2006, 11:59 PM

ragnarok_2012

10-11-2006, 12:08 AM

Manos, the Hands of Fate was so bad that Dr. Forrester APOLOGIZED for sending it to them!

And the MST3K guys have officially said that it's the worst movie they've covered.

And on a personal note: Wow, it was bad.

I had a "Bottom Ten" website many years ago. Movies I included off the top of my head:

*Manos

*Highlander 2: Not only was it bad, but it tarnished a movie I truly loved. It was a bit like Parallax that way.

*Fantasy Mission Force: A Jackie Chan movie with almost no Jackie Chan. Chinese guys who are supposed to be Scottish soldiers in WWII....who wield medieval weaponry (apparently the Scots were a bit behind the times). Mid-70's cars with swastikas painted on the sides. A very lame movie.

*Captain America: The Red Skull is trapped. Cap is strapped to a rocket aimed at the White House, and has a death grip on the Red Skull's hand. What does the Red Skull do with the bowie knife he pulls out? He cuts off his OWN hand. The President gives a press conference of some sort wearing blue jeans! Cap pretends to be car sick-not once, but twice-to steal somebody's car. It's really bad.

Pól Rua

10-11-2006, 12:11 AM

You are all wrong, the worst movie ever made was Undead.

Its actually so horrible that I doubt anyone on this board has watched it.

I really liked it when I saw the preview showing.

Knightmare10880

10-11-2006, 12:21 AM

You are all wrong, the worst movie ever made was Undead.

Its actually so horrible that I doubt anyone on this board has watched it.

I saw it, it wasn't as cool as StompTokyo made it out to be but it was by no means the worst movie I've ever scene.

That particualar honour goes to Uncle Sam, a horror movie that is about a Gulf War veteran coming back from the dead, dressing as Uncle Sam and then killing anyone who says or does any thing unpatriotic. The acting, effect, and pacing of the story was so horrible that I turned it off half-way during the movie, which is something I never do.

Young Avenger

10-11-2006, 12:36 AM

Now, any movie done by Uwe Bowel is a different story.

A-Freaking-Men. That man should never be allowed in a movie studio for the crap he's done.

Since no one mentioned it yet, I going to say Robocop 3. That was a piece of shit.

Chiasm

10-11-2006, 12:49 AM

X-men: The Last Stand. Such wasted potential. If only there had been some plot development. The only, and I mean only, redeeming thing in this whole movie is that Ellen Page made a great Kitty Pryde. Alas, she was only in about 4 minutes of the whole movie.

Buzz Dixon

10-11-2006, 01:05 AM

DEATH CURSE OF TARTU

GOD MONSTER OF INDIAN FLATS

MONSTER A-GO-GO

AGENT FOR H.A.R.M.

PLAY IT AS IT LAYS

PUZZLE OF A DOWNFALL CHILD

...and another vote for THE APPLE!

K.O.V.G

10-11-2006, 01:19 AM

Do you have a bias against comic book movies? Are you actively comparing the movies to the comics themselves?

nah it's just these movie were gay all of them superman returns was nothing with out the nice special effects and i'm not gonna get into the rest.

Hush Little Batman

10-11-2006, 08:06 AM

Ready to Rumble
Never again David Arquette; never again.

Wild Orchid
It was supposed to be erotica. Turned out to be nonsensica.

Cats & Dogs
It was a 100+ degree day and I had no AC. I unwisely decided to kill 90 minutes at the movie theater cooling off. Sue me!

Pearl Harbor
When a film chronicles the devestating attack of December 7, 1941 but instead focuses on trying to be a combination of Titanic and Saving Private Ryan and remain PG-13, you know it's a stinker.

House of the Dead
It needs to be seen for the 10 minute sequence where people shoot zombies endlessly and neither reload or run out of bullets once. Also, these may be the dumbest zombies in movie history as at one point they arm themselves with axes and chase after the humans, who in turn take refuge in a wooden house. The zombies, still with axes, remain stumped on how to get to their fleshy snacks.

Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Stupid.

Honey
The film almost made Jessica Alba unwatchable. That's how bad it is.

You Got Served
The filmmakers actually took this crap seriously. The only thing served was stupidity.

Gigli
This film was so bad that when Benifer did a small stint in Jersey Girl, the studio removed any mention of JLo in the trailers outta fear people would avoid seeing it because of Gigli.

You are all wrong, the worst movie ever made was Undead.

Its actually so horrible that I doubt anyone on this board has watched it.

Not only did I see Undead, but I quite enjoyed its dark humor and originality, thank you very much. :D

SlightlyMad

10-11-2006, 08:50 AM

Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman - The first one was cheap but fun, this one was just cheap.

White Men Can't Jump

DDM

10-11-2006, 09:35 AM

JAWS 3 (A killer great white shark eats people in Seaworld)

JAWS 4: The Revenge (Another killer great white shark purposely hunts down the Brodey family; the shark looks fake & the story is just bad)

Hellraiser 3-current: Enough with the awful sequels!

hoffmandu

10-11-2006, 12:13 PM

House 2 has gotta be up there. Watched it last night.........unbearable. I felt embaressed.

Ontir

10-11-2006, 12:25 PM

Pier Paulo Passolini's Sal‘o, or 120 Days of Sodom was recommended to me, and I found it execrable and completely un-watchable!

HomerJay

10-11-2006, 12:53 PM

It usually works better the other way around. Unfortunately,the only examples I can think of are M.A.S.H.,The Odd Couple and Alice.
I would throw Buffy in there too.
I can't believe that no one here has mentioned Battlefield Earth and Stephen King's Dreamcatcher. These two God-awful nut filled turds deserve to be in a category of their own when it comes to bad movies.
I concur.
BATMAN AND ROBIN is the only movie I've ever walked out of.

Guts/Batman

10-11-2006, 02:34 PM

nah it's just these movie were gay all of them superman returns was nothing with out the nice special effects and i'm not gonna get into the rest.

Now that's good reasoning why the movies sucked...

I would like you to get into specifics of why each superhero movie sucked. The absolute statement that you are using makes your point completely overstated, and as such cannot be taken at any value whatsoever.

Guts/Batman

10-11-2006, 02:35 PM

JAWS 3 (A killer great white shark eats people in Seaworld)

JAWS 4: The Revenge (Another killer great white shark purposely hunts down the Brodey family; the shark looks fake & the story is just bad)

Quoted for truth.

These are horrible, horrible, horrible movies.

Black Atom

10-11-2006, 02:58 PM

Oh, bullcrap. X3 and FFVII: AC are not the worst movies EVER. Come off it.

Also, has anyone actually seen Manos outside of MST3K?

DDM

10-11-2006, 03:13 PM

Superman 3: Richard Pryor creates a supercomputer which turns Superman evil.

Superman 4: The Quest for Peace: Lex Luthor creates the Nuclear Man when Superman destroys all the nuclear bombs by throwing them into the sun. The cheap special effects just make a bad movie worse. Nuclear Man can't even talk!

DDM

10-11-2006, 03:14 PM

Quoted for truth.

These are horrible, horrible, horrible movies.

The sad thing is I paid good money to see JAWS 4: The Revenge in the movie theatre.

SlightlyMad

10-11-2006, 03:16 PM

House 2 has gotta be up there. Watched it last night.........unbearable. I felt embaressed.

Oh yeah, "Gramps" & that puppy-caterpillar thing!

The only good thing about it was John "Cliffie" Ratzenberger (espiaclly since George "Norm" Wendt was in the first one, which made it funnier).

I bought a cheap secondhand box-set of all 4 movies. By the end of House 2 I'd had enough & put it on eBay to try and recoup some of the money I lost but. House 1 & 2 are about 4 hours of my life I will never get back! :evilangry

Guts/Batman

10-11-2006, 03:21 PM

The sad thing is I paid good money to see JAWS 4: The Revenge in the movie theatre.

Now I feel lucky to catch them on TNT once. Now, that memory is stuck in my mind.

SnowTrooper

10-11-2006, 03:28 PM

Im pretty sure that this has been said already but my vote goes for Alone in the Dark. That movie was just a 2 hour waste of my life, and Tara Reid as an anthropologist is about as believable as Elton John being straight.

Buzz Dixon

10-11-2006, 03:30 PM

Noah Johnson

10-11-2006, 04:05 PM

The winner for me is THE PIRATE MOVIE. Most bad films are bad in the same few basic ways. This one... it actually breaks new ground in the field of badness, finding new ways to suck that I've never seen before or since.

J. Robb

10-11-2006, 04:27 PM

"Lady in the Water" was the worst movie I've seen in a long time.

Matt K

10-11-2006, 09:23 PM

Hiroshima mon amour

I had to watch this for a film class I was taking and it was awful (and I had to watch some pretty bad movies for that class). It may have been a well made movie, but I could not get past how wretched it was.

mybotisgone

10-12-2006, 04:42 AM

No matter what you guys say is the worst movie ever made Batman & Robin will always be the king of that heap.

Lord of Denial

10-12-2006, 08:04 AM

The Ninth Gate- The king of boring movie.

1WEBHEAD

10-12-2006, 12:58 PM

Recently the worst movies I've seen were:
Garfield
and
The Shaggy Dog

Bad story,acting,and jokes. My 6 year old brother didnt even like it either.

Cleric of Hell's Brigade

10-13-2006, 08:42 AM

All Uwe Boll movies suck.

Ultraviolet was stupid, as is Catwoman.

Royal

10-13-2006, 09:20 AM

Dudes! I can't believe you guys.

I liked The Apple.

And why all the hate on Passolini? Geez.

Ontir

10-13-2006, 09:30 AM

Ontir--
I agree re SALO, OR THE 120 DAYS OF SODOM being among -- if not the -- most repugnant and preprehensible films ever made, but in terms of the technical art and craft it was well done. That's what makes it so stomach churning: If it has been simple, mindless exploitive crap it would be far easier to turn away from it.

It's probably something I should give another shot; but I was so revulsed by it, that I stopped watching. My friends sat there, glued to it saying, "I can't believe you rented this!" "This is the worst thing I've ever seen!" I finally said, "You've noticed I'm NOT watching it!" I've seen other Passolini films, though long ago, and enjoyed them, so it's not a loathing of the director over all, just this one film; but perhaps I'll add it to the Netflix cue.

I also must say that the Apple is the kind of craptacular that you have to love - at least once! The Nuart, here in LA is showing the Roger Ebert writtten Beyond the Valley of the Dolls tonight, another twisted pleasure.

Guts/Batman

10-13-2006, 11:14 AM

No matter what you guys say is the worst movie ever made Batman & Robin will always be the king of that heap.

Nah...

JAWS3 and 4 completely blow away Batman and Robin. Batman and Robin had entertainment value in the sense that if you turned tour brain off, you could watch it.

Jaws 3 and 4 have no entertainment value whatsoever.

Buzz Dixon

10-13-2006, 11:14 AM

Royal --

THE APPLE is fun but in a jaw-droppin' "I-can't-believe-somebody-actually-did-this" way, kinda like the film version of SGT. PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND.

And as Ontir says, the hate ain't to Passolini but to SALO; he made other, far more palatable films.

SALO did outrage some members of the Italian Communist party (to which Pasolini belonged) so much that they lured Pasolini to a beach for a homosexual tryst and then proceeded to beat him to death before running him over several times with his own car.

And people think Roger Ebert is a tough critic...

Ontir

10-13-2006, 01:01 PM

Wow! I knew he was murdered, and that someone called "the Frog" confessed; but I didn't know the rest about the Communist Party - and these were his friends?!?!? :eek:

Royal

10-13-2006, 01:19 PM

Wow! I knew he was murdered, and that someone called "the Frog" confessed; but I didn't know the rest about the Communist Party - and these were his friends?!?!? :eek:

No. He supported the cops during hippy protests in Italy.

He was to communist for the communists.

Bouncing Boy

10-13-2006, 01:31 PM

I say X3 is up in the to 10 what about you guys.
X3 is nowhere near the top 10 (or Bottom 10 if you prefer) in my opinion. Yes there are problems with the movie, but there is alot of good stuff in it. I wouldn't even say it's in the bottom 10 of comic book movies. There's some pretty craptacular catastrof**ks of movies out there.

Julusnc

10-13-2006, 01:33 PM

BattleField Earth - sucked
The Grudge - sucked
XXX - stupid
Soul Plane - a waste of time
Spice World - why was it even made?
House of the Dead - bad stroy and director
Kazaam - yeah he is ana actor. not!
Eddie - whoopie sucks
Catwoman - nice to look at her but I have magazines for that.
Basic Instinct II - why was it even made?

"Most" movies starring Hulk Hogan, Jean Claude Van Damme, Steven Seagal, Vin Diesel, and Ben Stiller are not worth the time to watch........