Worst of Spider-Man

[Hush Little Batman]

Unfortunately, the ol' webhead has been screwed over by a lot of poorly written or ill-conceived tales over the years, but which was the absolute worst one of all and why do you feel it is?

[Nick MB]

I'm curious whether we'll see a good cross-section of the character's whole history here, or just lots of bitching about JMS/The Other/Sins Past here. Because obviously "Worst Ever" means "Worst Of The Last Two Years".

Anyway, the Howard Mackie relaunch of a few years ago has a good shot at it, for me. Nothing JMS has done even comes close to the revelation of the 5th Green Goblin as a half-baked clone of no-one, or the Senator Ward arc, or... God, it sucked.

[Sonicjuce]

Anyway, the Howard Mackie relaunch of a few years ago has a good shot at it, for me. Nothing JMS has done even comes close to the revelation of the 5th Green Goblin as a half-baked clone of no-one, or the Senator Ward arc, or... God, it sucked.
I would agree that Mackie's work after the relaunch was not great. However, I really enjoyed the Sen. Ward story. We actually had events building for a while, and a supporting cast. Both of these are lacking now. The 5th GG was a complete let down, but wasn't it the fourth? (Harry, Norman, The good GG, and then the Clone thing).

I can't really think of a horrible story though. I would say the story arc where MJ died. This wasn't great, and I didn't like Peter's reaction to it. To be honest it is hard to not say Sin's past, but like you said everyone is going to be saying that.

I would also go with the Gathering of Five. I think this was one of the worst stories I have read though. It all built to something that really wasn't that great. The effects of it were only seen for like the next 10 issues. It wasn't a worthy end to volume one either.

I will have to think some more on this.

[brundlefly]

I wholeheartedly gree with the Mackie relaunch, Gathering of Five, and Sins Past as "worsts". I'll add both SPIDER MAN: CHAPTER ONE (seriously, how many times can we pointlessly retell Spidey's origin? And Marvel followed up on it immediately afterwards with Ultimate Spidey, retelling the origin yet again) and the REVELATIONS "revelation" of "Norman Osborn's still alive, thanks to his amazing Goblin Healing Factor." :rolleyes: Both were poor ideas, badly executed, and signs of creative bankruptcy.

[Mideon]

Anything written by Terry Kavanaugh sucked. His dialouge was atrocious. The Toxin thing was also retarded, seeing as they called him Venom's grandson when he wasn't even.

[Mister Mets]

I'd go with...

Perceptions- Todd Mcfarlane's five part Wolverine team up. The child molester plot was too dark to the character, but the execution of it was even worse.

The Clone Saga- The worst of the lot by far. Look up "Life of Reilly' if you want any details on the book which almost killed Spider-Man.

Mackie/ Byrne's Spider-Man Relaunch- This should have been awesome, but there were a lot of flaws. Mackie (never the best Spider-man writer) brought up plots (ie- Peter getting a job at Tricorp) and ignored them. Because of Chapter One (which I enjoyed until I read the far superior Lee/ Ditko originals) the books rarely used the great Lee/ Ditko villains, and the new villains couldn't hold up. Mary Jane Watson became a supermodel. There were too many references to the stories right before the relaunch (which weren't that great either.) And the writing was still pretty lame.

A Lizard's Tale- Paul Jenkins is one of the best Spider-Man writers, but this was his weakest tale. The execution was poor, and I hated what it did to my favorite villain. The twist that Curt Connors was always in charge of the Lizard made him a far less interesting villain, and ruined him as a supporting character.

[Annie get your Rum]

Terry Kavanaugh, JMS, Dan Slott (Human Torch/ Spidey); those three are the Spidey stories and runs I can't stand.

[Joe Acro]

I loved Mackie's run on Spidey! Man, overall that was good stuff. I don't get what you guys don't like about it.

I'll agree to Chapter One being a bad idea. It would've been better with context, like Crisis being the context for a Superman origin revision.

I'll also agree that Sins Past and The Other were bad moments.

I think Millar's run on MK Spider-Man belongs in this category. The return of Green Goblin in Clone Saga was pretty bad. Spider-Man at the Raft was pretty bad. And I'd throw in the Avengers: Disassembled tie-in arc.

[DBZ MAN]

From what I read so far of any Spdiey stories - 'The Other' was the worst for me.

[Violently Apathetic]

I got to agree with most of the ones mentioned (excluding Millar and Slott's runs, you guys are clearly philistines :p ) , but I'll throw in most of Denny O'Neill's run and Amazing Spider-Man 289; more for the WTF?! lameness factor than actual poor storytelling as Peter David did the best he could with what he was given.

[brundlefly]

Amazing Spider-Man 289; more for the WTF?! lameness factor than actual poor storytelling as Peter David did the best he could with what he was given.

Oh, man, I had tried to block out the horror of ASM 289. The sheer underwhelmingness of Ned Leeds being revealed as the Hobgoblin, getting killed in one of the most humiliating manners possible ("Spider-Man! HELP!"), and the downward spiral from that point as Macendale put on the costume and the Hobgoblin went from A-list mastermind to D-list hired thug. Thank the gods Roger Stern gave us HOBGOBLIN LIVES and cleaned that mess up.

[Alan2099]

Spider-man's Pre-clone saga "I AM THE SPIDER!" stuff. Didn't fit the character at all.

Get Kraven - "Let's completley change every aspect of a character that's just been introduced in order to tell a poor Get Shorty parody! And then we can end the entire thing with Vulture becoming a hero with Spider-man's blessing!"

ANYTHING other than the first Ezikel apperance that featured the Spider-Totem

The Gathering of Five: Yet another example to taking to long to tell a story that just doesn't work.

The "death" of Mary Jane. I've got no problems with the idea of killing her off, but never once in the story did it feel like she was actually gone.

[Cardiac]

Amazing Spiderman #139 was terrible. The Grizzly? I recently bought this, as I had only heard bad things about this guy(I was curious). Those bad things were confirmed. He has to be one of the lamest villains I've ever seen.
Also the Mary Jane is dead storyline. I personally think it was used for the sole purposse of selling comics. If they couldn't kill Aunt May, they would never kill Mary Jane.

[Babylon23]

Sins Past is definitely one of my least favourite Spidey stories. Just awful.

The Ned Leed is Hobgoblin was pretty awful, made doubly bad by the fact that it followed directly on from the excellent Gang War storyline. It contradicted a lot of what Stern had originally set up for Hobbie.

The Clone Saga just got completely out of hand. What should have been 12 issues max just got dragged out, eventually becoming nonsensical rubbish, and the sudden return of Norman Osbourne was the icing on that crap cake.

Maximum Carnage is an absolute shocker. A 15-part fight scene with almost no story to go with it, plus some of the worst dialogue I've ever read in a comic.

Spider-Man Chapter One - completely unnecessary and pointless.

[Some Guy]

All of that Cyber-Space virtual reality nonsense with the Scarlet Spider

[Pheonix-NoRelation]

I would agree that Mackie's work after the relaunch was not great. However, I really enjoyed the Sen. Ward story. We actually had events building for a while, and a supporting cast. Both of these are lacking now. The 5th GG was a complete let down, but wasn't it the fourth? (Harry, Norman, The good GG, and then the Clone thing).
I can't really think of a horrible story though. I would say the story arc where MJ died. This wasn't great, and I didn't like Peter's reaction to it. To be honest it is hard to not say Sin's past, but like you said everyone is going to be saying that.

I would also go with the Gathering of Five. I think this was one of the worst stories I have read though. It all built to something that really wasn't that great. The effects of it were only seen for like the next 10 issues. It wasn't a worthy end to volume one either.

I will have to think some more on this.
Nope he's fifth. In issues 176-180, Harry reveals his past as the Goblin to his psychiatrist Dr. Burt Hamilton. Hamilton then goes on to kidnap Harry, assume the Green Goblin identity, and die. :p Not a bad story IIRC.

[TheAmazingSpider-Geek]

The worst? The entire Clone Saga debacle. I stopped reading comics in general because of that story until about 2 years ago. (Man i had a lot of catching up to do!)

Second worst? The whole Eddie Brock is dying and the symbiote is preggers again, Venom2 and Venom 3 crap.

[Spider-Sense]

Does anyone remember "planet of the symbiotes"?That was so crappy!

[ViciousX]

Planet of the Symbiotes
Maximum Carnage
Sins Remembered
Gathering of Five
I Am Spider
Web of Death
Hobgoblin vs Demogoblin
Leeds as the Hobgoblin
The Reboot
House of M:Spider-Man

[Mutate]

When I was about 10/11, I loved the Spider Man cartoon. I went to my local paper shop, to finally start reading the comics for myself. What I read just confused me. Spider-Mans name was Ben and he had a different costume. The art was ugly and the story was boring. Then when the first movie came out, I decided to give his comics another go all these years later. I read Ultimate Spider Man, and it was cool! I wish the comic had been good at the time, so I coulda kept reading.

[Hush Little Batman]

When I was about 10/11, I loved the Spider Man cartoon. I went to my local paper shop, to finally start reading the comics for myself. What I read just confused me. Spider-Mans name was Ben and he had a different costume. The art was ugly and the story was boring. Then when the first movie came out, I decided to give his comics another go all these years later. I read Ultimate Spider Man, and it was cool! I wish the comic had been good at the time, so I coulda kept reading.

ROTFLMAO!!!

And another victim of the Clone Saga comes forward. :D

[rZi]

eeek! I think everyone is gonna hate me when i say the following...

i LIKED sins past

i LIKED the other

and to an extent i LIKED the clone saga..if only it was shorter.

I hated jumping the tracks...the writing didn't help the awful artwork either.

[darkhawk76]

though I too hate Sins Past and The Other

just to be different I'll say what about the original clone storyline. Bbringing back Gwen as a cheap gimmick lead to convoluted storylines decades later

wasn't that keen on the Avengers Disassembled tie-in either

[kane]

Sins Past
Clone Saga

[Flying_Postman]

Well I may get lynched here but the clone saga had the potential to become one of the greatest spidey storylines and it was good in the begining, it's just the "higher ups" at marvel extended the story to make more money.

As for the worst 'Sins Past' NUFF SAID. I haven't pick up a new spidey comic since then.

[Shadow ES]

AnytThe Toxin thing was also retarded, seeing as they called him Venom's grandson when he wasn't even.
how was he not?

Planet of the Symbiotes was my least favorite story. It's the only one I've dropped without finishing.

[chrismileslord]

I would have to go with clone saga for the win.

[Mister Mets]

Anything written by Howard Mackie:)

Some of his stuff was good. Amazing Spider-Man Volume 2 #25.
So maybe you should say most comics written by Howard Mackie. :D

[Sparda]

Clone saga was ok for me. It's the part where Ben Reilly took the role of spidey and replacing parker that irks me.

I hate sins past.

The other was ok but I prefer the though that Peter got his powers through science and not the magic animal totem crap.

I liked Maximum carnage when I was a kid but now it's kinda meh. Same with planet of the symbiotes and it did'nt even have a lasting impact on the marvel verse.

That's all I guess.

[Lorendiac]

Maximum Carnage is an absolute shocker. A 15-part fight scene with almost no story to go with it, plus some of the worst dialogue I've ever read in a comic.

I own a copy of that TPB and yet, as I read this thread, I had completely failed to think of it until you reminded me. Apparently my subconscious was mercifully trying to blot out those memories so they wouldn't ruin my life?

Beyond that, I think I'll go with the time Spidey made a devil's bargain with Venom and agreed to stop trying to arrest him; the return of Norman Osborn from the dead; and of course "Sins Past," of which I wrote a merciless parody several months ago! :)

There are some I haven't read, so I don't know if they really belong on this list -- but I'll mention a few of 'em anyway! :)

I have not yet read "Sins Remembered." And I haven't read "The Other." And I haven't read the graphic novel I've heard about in which a friend of Wolverine's deliberately tricked Spidey into hitting her hard enough to kill her (he thought she was Wolverine sneaking up from behind, with the unbreakable bones and the healing factor) -- and then I am told that while Spidey felt kinda bad about accidentally killing a woman in that story, it was subsequently swept under the rug and never referred to in any of his regular titles! (Guess it only took him about five minutes to recover from the emotional shock, with no psychological scars at all?)

I also haven't read the story in which, from what I've heard, Spidey let Deb Whitman think that her previous conviction that Peter Parker was Spider-Man was strong proof that she had been severely suffering from mental illness?

[BeastieRunner]

My top 5:

5. House of M

4. Hypno Hustler

3. The Other

2. Norman Osborn Alive

1. Sins Past

[drinkblatzbeer]

everything from about 1997 til the recent amazing and friendly neighborhood books...

i gave it up right at the end of high school and finally am able to get back in and enjoy the stuff, and believe me, i tried...

[Madison Carter]

Web of Spider-Man #25 (http://www.marvunapp.com/Appendix/xanjaspd.htm) and Web of Spider-Man #34 (http://www.marvunapp.com/Appendix/asaisman.htm)

Not Lieber and Shooter's best works.

[killerbass]

Terry Kavanaugh, JMS, Dan Slott (Human Torch/ Spidey); those three are the Spidey stories and runs I can't stand.

May I ask what you didn't like about Slott's Spider-Man/Human torch mini? I thought it was great, but I would be interested in hearing what you didn't like about it...

--Tom

[killerbass]

Maximum Carnage is an absolute shocker. A 15-part fight scene with almost no story to go with it, plus some of the worst dialogue I've ever read in a comic.

Before I knew a lot about Spider-Man, I bought this complete arc.

It took a couple of weeks, but I forced myself to read the entire thing -- after all I paid money for them.

Man, it was bad on so many levels -- horrible dialogue, flimsy plot, poor fight choreography, atrocious character development. You get the picture...

--Tom

[brundlefly]

Web of Spider-Man #25 (http://www.marvunapp.com/Appendix/xanjaspd.htm) and Web of Spider-Man #34 (http://www.marvunapp.com/Appendix/asaisman.htm)

Not Lieber and Shooter's best works.

Oh, man I remember those two issues. You were so right to include them in this thread.

[unkiedev]

The Other. Pointless, long, convoluted and annoying.

[Alan2099]

Almost forgot a big one. The Live and let Die storyline that introduced Facade.

What did this story having going for it?

It featured a rather pointless Gambit apperance and team-up.
It killed off a lonmg term supporting character without even bothering to treat the death as significant or even tell us what he discovered that lead to his death.
It introduced a dime-a-dozen type villian. Another guy in power armor that shoots at things.
It built up a mystery of who facade was and NEVER solved the thing, or for that matter presented the story in way that we would care who it was.

And if all that wasn't enough, it shows us that Betty Brant keeps an armory in her closet and can fire a machine gun with one hand!

Oh, and all of this was during Peter's I AM THE SPIDER!!!! days.

[Black Atom]

Peter's Robot Parents - or, the beginning of the end, as I call it. This would be the first in an era of masochistic Spider-Man stories about loved ones trotted out from Peter's past like a twisted episode of "This is Your Life" only to reveal they were clones, robots or they did it with his worst enemies. Speaking of which...
Clone Saga - Really, what needs to be said?
Return of Norman Osborn - Not only is he back (which is bad enough) but he's now a walking plot device. Anything bad, no matter how unfeasible, that will happen to Peter in the past, present and future can now be blamed on this guy. Which leads us to...
Return of Aunt May - The revelation that the "May" that died was a hired actress. As unfeasible as it sounds, it was Osborn's doing all along! The guy really should have his own hidden camera show.
Death of Mary Jane - Stupid because no one really thought she was dead to begin with, yet the writers insisted on dragging the story out, with Peter struggling over her death and becoming a bum and generally being a real party pooper. Surprisingly, Orsborn had nothing to do with this one. It was just some mutant stalker or something. This probably isn't worse than the others, just because of how forgettable it is, but I'm trying to be chronological here.
Sins Past - Another "everything you know is wrong" Spider-Man story which people apparently love. Remember when Peter made jokes and every story wasn't about Peter's past being horribly ravaged? You know, when the books were fun to read? Good times...
The Other - Okay, the Other's not the worst, but it's among the stupidest. Osborn takes a break from raping Peter's life so some Morbius rip-off can have a turn. At least at the end, Peter gets the reflexes of a spider and the ability to sense stuff around him. What? He had that? Well, he could never stick children to his back before! What about that? Wait, he could do that with webbing? Oh. Well, at least he's got stupid-looking stinger. That spiders don't have. That's good. Plus, Mary Jane reveals that after two whole days of believing Peter was dead, she pretty much got over it. The least you could do was become a bum and fight the Hulk.

[Golon9977]

I dont really have any particular stories that I did not like. However, I do have concepts that I do not like such as the 'death' of MJ, the unmasking and his new powers.

[drinkblatzbeer]

Almost forgot a big one. The Live and let Die storyline that introduced Facade.

What did this story having going for it?

It featured a rather pointless Gambit apperance and team-up.
It killed off a lonmg term supporting character without even bothering to treat the death as significant or even tell us what he discovered that lead to his death.
It introduced a dime-a-dozen type villian. Another guy in power armor that shoots at things.
It built up a mystery of who facade was and NEVER solved the thing, or for that matter presented the story in way that we would care who it was.

And if all that wasn't enough, it shows us that Betty Brant keeps an armory in her closet and can fire a machine gun with one hand!

Oh, and all of this was during Peter's I AM THE SPIDER!!!! days.

yeah, that was pretty bad...the first part also included those lame animation cells they gave away with each book...

i think i read an interview where kavanaugh was going to expand on who facade was, but the clone thing happened and also the poor reaction in the first place killed any chance of that happening...

[Mideon]

how was he not?

Cause Venom ate the original Carnage symbiote. The one that gave birth was a new one from the negative zone.

[Spiderman 1]

1.- The Reboot: Terrible, just... terrible.

2.-Shrieking: Wha...?

3.- The Other and Totem Storylines: Come on, I know this has been discussed long enough and some people like it, other don´t, I just don´t see why you have to alter that way the origin of spidey, heck, you just take away what made spidey special, not a mutant, not an alien, not a magic being, just a mistake... it would be as if you said there´s a gamma totem and the hulk was a chosen one or some crap like that.

4.- I am the SPIDER: Terrible storyline, but maybe it served its purpose, all of us wanting to spidey to go back to his old funny ways.

5.- Fake Parents: Awful Plot, and I completely agree, the begining of the end.

6.- Most of Spidey-Reilly stories.

7.- All of the (insert name) Scarlet Spider books.

8.- Maximum Clonage: Again... Wha?

While I enjoyed de FACADE, the hobgoblin-demogoblin and the clone storyline, the first two had great first three issues but the way they ended was awful, maybe they had to change the endings so it wouldn´t steal the thunder of the upcoming clone story. As the clone story goes I loved the mark of kaine, except for last issue again.

[Joe Acro]

The one that gave birth was a new one from the negative zone.
I read about this in the Encyclopedia. In what comic(s) did this take place?

[Agentum]

I'm not SM biggest fan so i have not read even half of it, but i really disliked Byrnes Chapter One, could be released in an Absolute Garbage Edition.

There is a probem with heroes that sells a lot of books, they know it sells even if it's bad and people still want more.
And they have at leats 2-3 books going on at the same time year after year, multiple writers and artist, of course it gives really good storys but also a lot of very bad ones as it is so hard to keep a good continuity with a character that apears so often.

[Nick MB]

I read about this in the Encyclopedia. In what comic(s) did this take place?

Webspinners #13 - 14, by Howard Mackie & Graham Nolan. It featured Spidey going into the Negative Zone and his suit somehow changing into the one from the Unlimited animated series in a not-so-subtle plug. Seriously, it was abominable, don't read it.

[Hush Little Batman]

I'm not SM biggest fan so i have not read even half of it, but i really disliked Byrnes Chapter One, could be released in an Absolute Garbage Edition.

LMAO! :D

What did he change? I've heard people say the series was trash but they never detail what the problems were.

[Mideon]

I also haven't read the story in which, from what I've heard, Spidey let Deb Whitman think that her previous conviction that Peter Parker was Spider-Man was strong proof that she had been severely suffering from mental illness?

hahaha I read that, it was awesome.

[Joe Acro]

LMAO! :D

What did he change? I've heard people say the series was trash but they never detail what the problems were.
It would've been fine if there had been some reason for Peter' past to change. Byrne had Peter watch Octavius perform an experiment, thwarted by a lone spider, which bit and helped heal an injured Peter. He wanted to reduce the number of radioactive explosions in the Marvel universe. That was the only major change, I believe. He did change Electro's costume, though.

[Alan2099]

Electro got a ble generic looking costume. Dr. Octopus got a costume with weird robotic leg braces and no pants. Vulture started wearign a green tux with wings attached to it.

The lab Peter was in blew up and while he was lying in the rubble, the the radioactive Spider crawled up and bit him.

Chamelion was revaeled to have been working for Dr. Doom. (I admit, I liked that one.)

[Chris Nowlin]

Spider-Man: Chapter One, worthless
It's been said repeatedly, but Mackie's reboot.

I actually don't mind the clone saga. I thought it started well, then became a mess, but had high points.

I hate Millar's recent stuff.

But I love Slott's. I think that's the best in years. True classic Spidey.

Let me throw out what I haven't read yet, that I think may have been the true beginning of the end for Spidey.

Len Wein: Amazing 150-180 or so. He began a trend that has been death to spidey (and marvel characters in general), where he told nothing new and cycled through stuff Stan Lee ahd done.

I feel like one of the two worst things you can do in writing the next chapter of a book (like Spider-Man) is to do nothing, and take it back in a cycle (obviously Mackie did this much worse). Fortunately, Marv Wolfman saved Spidey from a rut when he took over, but Wein was the first of a very bad trend.

The other worst thing you can do is not bother to read the previous chapter. Hi Mark Millar! Read more than the cliff's notes next time!

[Chris Nowlin]

Sorry, I forgot to mention that Gwen Stacy had Norman Osborn's children. Must have blocked that one out. That's the worst idea ever. I apologize to Chapter One; it is in all ways shapes and forms better than that.

[Magneto Rocks]

I think Millar's run on MK Spider-Man belongs in this category.

Ironically, this came joint top in a thread about BEST Spider-stories of the last few years :P

I'm going to say Gathering of Five/The Final Chapter.

It's insulting enough that we were INCREDIBLY cheated on a cliffhanger (And I'm talking more cheated than CW3 here!) but the idea of tis being the final chapter and Spider-Man finally defeating the Goblin...

OFF-PAGE, with NONE of the battle shown....

is frankly pathetic. A disgrace of a story.

[Chris Nowlin]

Ironically, this came joint top in a thread about BEST Spider-stories of the last few years :P

I'm going to say Gathering of Five/The Final Chapter.

It's insulting enough that we were INCREDIBLY cheated on a cliffhanger (And I'm talking more cheated than CW3 here!) but the idea of tis being the final chapter and Spider-Man finally defeating the Goblin...

OFF-PAGE, with NONE of the battle shown....

is frankly pathetic. A disgrace of a story.


Millar's story made the best because a) he's Millar and b) it's recent

No argument about Gathering of Five. I lump that with the Mackie reboot in my mind. There's a whole disturbing era there.

[Pheonix-NoRelation]

Spider-Man: Chapter One, worthless
It's been said repeatedly, but Mackie's reboot.

I actually don't mind the clone saga. I thought it started well, then became a mess, but had high points.

I hate Millar's recent stuff.

But I love Slott's. I think that's the best in years. True classic Spidey.

Let me throw out what I haven't read yet, that I think may have been the true beginning of the end for Spidey.

Len Wein: Amazing 150-180 or so. He began a trend that has been death to spidey (and marvel characters in general), where he told nothing new and cycled through stuff Stan Lee ahd done.

I feel like one of the two worst things you can do in writing the next chapter of a book (like Spider-Man) is to do nothing, and take it back in a cycle (obviously Mackie did this much worse). Fortunately, Marv Wolfman saved Spidey from a rut when he took over, but Wein was the first of a very bad trend.

The other worst thing you can do is not bother to read the previous chapter. Hi Mark Millar! Read more than the cliff's notes next time!

Are you kidding me? Amazing Spider-Man #150-200 is my absolute all time favorite Spidey era!!! That and Spectacular Spider-Man #1-29. :D

P.S. I am NOT being sarcastic there.

[Hannah]

By far it is the Clone Saga but I can't say I like anything that JMS has done with Spider-Man.

[Magneto Rocks]

Millar's story made the best because a) he's Millar and b) it's recent

No argument about Gathering of Five. I lump that with the Mackie reboot in my mind. There's a whole disturbing era there.

Each to his own, I guess. I'm a major fan of all of Millar's work, so it stands to reason I loved his Spidey run. To be fair, the fact that he can make a list just because he's Millar does say something- very few terrible writers become thatpopular!

But still, at least we can agree on the reboot.

I also want to add the period shortly after the reboot where Venom popped up in every second book for a few months!

[Hush Little Batman]

Byrne had Peter watch Octavius perform an experiment, thwarted by a lone spider, which bit and helped heal an injured Peter.

The lab Peter was in blew up and while he was lying in the rubble, the the radioactive Spider crawled up and bit him.

So instead of the spider biting Peter and giving him powers, it was changed to the lab blew up and nearly killed Peter and the spider bit him (for no apparent reason) and saved his life? What happened to all the other school kids from the trip? Did they die in the explosion?

[Joe Acro]

...the spider bit him (for no apparent reason) and saved his life?It wasn't for no apparent reason. I believe the explanation was that it was acting on instinct, trying to rid the radiation from its system.
What happened to all the other school kids from the trip? Did they die in the explosion?
There were no other school kids. There were onlooking scientists, though. I don't remember for sure, but I think they all survived. But, then again, I believe they all had some protection (with tables and whatnot). Peter was just standing in the back of the room.

[Alan2099]

I believe Byrne later introduced some other Z-grade villian that got powers in that explosion as well.

[Joe Acro]

The villain was introduced in the pages of Amazing Spider-Man #9-10. She killed off surviving members of the explosion, save Otto and Peter. It was a strange story.

[Black Atom]

That's right! You're talking about Captain Power. A wheelchair-bound woman who could turn into a super-powered man (that's right) with a generic name who set about killing everyone else that was in the explosion. You know, that's one of the worst things--add it to my list.

[Sean Whitmore]

I also haven't read the story in which, from what I've heard, Spidey let Deb Whitman think that her previous conviction that Peter Parker was Spider-Man was strong proof that she had been severely suffering from mental illness?


It's been a long time, but I don't remember it happening that way. Peter denied it so long that Deb thought she was having a breakdown. Debra's psychologist went to Peter and told him of this (which is about the most unethical thing a shrink can do). Peter refused to let his secret drive Deb insane, so he revealed his identity to her. The shock of seeing nerdy, clumsy Peter Parker in a Spider-Man costume completey melted away Deb's conviction, and she decided she'd been mistaken all along.


SEAN

[jaguarshark]

The shock of seeing nerdy, clumsy Peter Parker in a Spider-Man costume completey melted away Deb's conviction, and she decided she'd been mistaken all along.
SEAN
Whereas of course, in real life, seeing a nerdy, clumsy person in a Spider-Man costume is pretty much a given.

[stillanerd]

Here's some "stinkers" that I can think of right now, in no particular order:

1. Sins Past--the "unmentionable sin" with regards to Spider-Man stories that pretty much tarnished "The Night Gwen Stacy Died" by revealing that Norman REALLY killed Gwen because she wouldn't let him have access to their fast-growing mutant kids (who where no less a product of a consentual one-night stand of pity sex and when Gwen lost her virginity to boot). JMS' run still hasn't recovered from this debacle.

2. Sins Remembered--proof that sequels ARE even worse than the original. Turned out that not only the Stacy twins were drug addicts but that Sarah (who is technically ten years old) lusted after Peter and french kissed him...in Paris, France no less:rolleyes: . Considering how the original plan was that PETER was supposed to be the father of Gwen kids, this makes one want to reach for the air-sickness bag.

3. Who is F.A.C.A.D.E.?--Here's the easy answer: WHO CARES?

4. Maximum Clonage--the "magnum opus" of the Clone Saga which bad a terrible idea (the Spidey you knew for the past 20 years is a fake) even worse.

5. Maximum Carnage--you want to know what was wrong with Spider-Man comics, and the industry in general, during the early 90s? Then try reading through this 14-part pointless crossover. It's saving grace is that it showed what an overrated flash in the pan Carnage really was.

6. The Other: Evolve or Die--You want to know what's wrong with Spider-Man comics now? It was bad enough that even Joe Q would later say that it maybe wasn't all that great. Responsibile for turning Spidey into a Wolverine rip-off, not to mention, considering how the whole spider-totem angle was effectively over during the Book of Ezekiel, really didn't need to be told.

7. The Gathering of Five/Reboot--especially since it also retconned the poignant ASM #400. More especially because it "ended" Amazing Spider-Man.

8. Amazing Spider-Man #13 Vol.2--Marvel's second answer to ending the Spider-Marriage and making a young, single Spidey (the first being the clone saga) where Mary Jane apparently was killed in an airplane explosion.

9. Spider-Man/Black Cat: the Evil That Men Do--I'm not sure what was worse: having the Black Cat's origins tie into date rape, giving us ANOTHER new Mysterio whose origins tied into incestual rape, or the fact that Kevin Smith--the same guy who once said that Spider-Man comics needed to be fun--gave us such a story that took THREE YEARS to produce.

10. The Avengers:Dissassembled Tie-In: Let's see, Peter is turning into a man-spider again, MJ's more concerned about her social life than her husband mutating into a freak, Spidey gives birth to himself, gave Spidey organic webbing just like the films (thus de-emphasizing Peter's knack for science even further) and the power to talk to insects (which spiders are not last time I checked). Throw in the fact that it was part of the disasterous Avengers: Dissassembled arc (which is what led to House of M and Civil War BTW) and it's no wonder Marvel wants to forget this one.

[Sean Whitmore]

Whereas of course, in real life, seeing a nerdy, clumsy person in a Spider-Man costume is pretty much a given.


Now I KNOW you ain't calling Nick Hammond a nerd.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y245/whitmore_sean/12m.gif


SEAN

[Peter Parker]

What is the worst Spidey comic you have ever read? Personally, I would rather have my head chopped off first than read Marvel Team-Up #28: The City Stealers".

http://www.spiderfan.org/comics/images/marvel_teamup/028.jpg

I have to state for the record that this is indeed a terrible story. It was indisputably a serious contender for the worst ever Spider-Man story of its time.

There are a couple of arguments which can be raised in it's defence. This story has earned it's place amongst The Worst of The Worst.

[Crimson]

Spider-Man: Get Kraven

The whole mini was terrible... TERRIBLE! I heard everyone talking about how bad it was and then I saw it for sale for about $2 or $3 so I figured I had to see what so horrible. My god I wasn't prepared for how bad it was!

[spacy]

that's really hard to say. There are a lot of senseless stories i've read, but because of that i can't remember them

[Mideon]

Web Of Spider-Man under Terry Kavanaugh. His dialogue is so terrible!

[vrempire]

I think it's the one when they do the plot of why Peter Parker is not the real Spiderman. And all those cloning things.

[Peter Parker]

Yesh, I agree, the Clone Saga has definately been the worst story arc ever.

Worst Story Arc Ever: Clone Saga

Worst Mimi Series Ever: Get Kraven

Worst Scriptwriter of "Web of Spider-Man": Terry Kavanaugh

Worst Issue of MTU in the 1970s: #28: The City Stealers"

[Michael P]

Spectacular Spider-Man 226. Peter finds out he's the clone and Ben Reilly's the real Spider-Man. Mary Jane, his pregnant wife, rushes to comfort him...

And he belts her across the room.

You go to hell, Spectacular Spider-Man 226. You go to hell, and you die.

[Peter Parker]

Yeah, that so is not like Peter...:rolleyes:

[Captain Murphy]

Yeah, that so is not like Peter...:rolleyes:

Lol new Wife Beating Spiderman, if it was out I would buy WBSM, He asks MJ to get him a beer then, beats her for a while, then jumps out the window, and goes and has an affair with Black Cat

[Peter Parker]

Yeah...you might as well get Captain Stacy to be resurrected along the way...:D

[Ullar]

Spectacular Spider-Man 226. Peter finds out he's the clone and Ben Reilly's the real Spider-Man. Mary Jane, his pregnant wife, rushes to comfort him...

And he belts her across the room.

You go to hell, Spectacular Spider-Man 226. You go to hell, and you die.
thats more like that bastard hank pym!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)

[Alan2099]

thats more like that bastard hank pym!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)
Oh, you'd think that wouldn't you. That's just what Spidey wants you to think, he'd been telling Pym for years that he should show his woman her place.

Spidey's just an abusive jerk. That's all there is to it.

[kel25]

From what I've read.

1. The Other: Sure it may be new but just because it's new doesn't mean it can not suck.
2. Maximum Carnage: I loved the game as a kid so when it was released in trade a while back I bought it without hesitation. The story got old fast.
3. Spider-Man India: No idea why I bought this. It's just another retelling of Spider-Mans origin but this time in India. It was a real yawner.

[TROUBLEZ]

The worst of Spidey...

When he slapped Mary Jane. You can argue that it makes him more human, that he's breaks down just like us, but I'm used to a Spider-man who does whats right. And hitting women is just wrong.

And then there would be his stingers?? I'm sure there's alot worse but that's the most recent thing i can remember. Stingers...stupid.

[Mikl C]

Mackie destroyed Spiderman for me. Seriously.
That lameass spiderwoman plot.
Venom/Carnage/Toxin appearance.
Return of May.
"Death" of MJ and subsequent followup story.

[Michael P]

I like to think that, while she was putting the universe back together after House of M, Wanda took a look at that page from SSM 226, and the whole retconned origin from Chapter One, and said, "Yeah, I don't think so."

[Lanowar]

The Marvel Knights story after Millar's run was awful with the lame superman rip-off that sorta came then went. That whole series went downhill after he left no wonder they renamed it soon after.

Out of the JMS stuff, Other, Skin Deep, Sins Past his Civil War tie in is good don't get me wrong some of his stuff is good. Just The Other, Skin Deep and Sins Past stick out as stories of his I don't like.

[Peter Parker]

I tell you, nothing can be worst than the "Spidey Super Stories", I can name you thousands and thousands of examples.

For the first one (I'll continue later :p):
Spidey Super Stories #1
(I'll post the full story for just this one so you can laugh along with me)

This is the extremely lame version of the origin of Spider-Man. The one you'll probably wish you never heard of by the time its done.

The immortal origin of Spider-Man opens with Peter examining a shrub in front of the high school with a magnifying glass. Flash and a girl walk up. Peter ignores them, intent on his botanical discovery.
Girl: Peter! - Rats, he doesn't even hear me!
Flash: He's too busy with those plants.

Ouch! Especially since the next caption is:
Peter liked the other kids. But sometimes he liked science better.
Not exactly the John Travolta type, is he? Heck, I knew fat kids in grade school who didn't speak English who had better social skills than this. I mean, he's supposed to be a geek, but this just made me cringe.

This opening scene would also establish a unique Spidey Super Story addition to the origin, Peter's super-gardening skills. In a taunting scene on the next page, one of the kids would call him "leaf-lover". (Ohh, what a burn. And you, you're a Hiking Enthusiast, you.) But even the lameness of this insult does not explain why exactly Peter is made out to be some kind of botany geek. At the very end, after he gets his Spider powers and outfit and is climbing out the window, he STILL can't get over the leaf thing. "The kids laughed and called me leaf-lover! Watch out, world! Here comes Spider-man!" Maybe they were originally going to tie Plantman's origin in somehow, I don't know. Heck, makes more sense than tying in Doc Ock's origin, if you ask me.

Peter then has the usual loved by Aunt May/wheaty pancakes scene, and then is rejected when he asks a girl to go to the science fair with him. (Gee, I don't know, science fair with horrendous geek, dancing with Flash... uh, maybe when I'm dead, loser. What was Peter thinking?) He then goes alone to the science fair, which features the best sign ever:

-Science Fair-
RADIOACTIVITY
DANGER!!!
Room 30, this way -->

If only my high school had hosted something like that.

Then the usual spider drops from ceiling, goes in between two big glowing bulb thingies, irradiated, drops on hand, bites, dies. As Peter runs out of the fair, the scientists all snicker and say, "our experiment must have scared the poor boy." You know your social life is in the pits when a gang of lab-coat wearing geeks thinks that you're a big wussy and makes fun of you.

Peter then does the jump-out-of-the-speeding-car's way thing (Peter: Wow! I could have been as flat as Aunt May's pancakes! Is he making fun of Aunt May's pancakes here? What's up with that?), then the pipe-crushing thing, and the tightrope thing.

Now we come to the scenes that were deleted in the original release of the origin tale. Note that these scenes will NOT be restored in the Director's cut, or hopefully anywhere ever. Peter's walking down the street with his new Spider-powers, and spies a car parked next to a fire hydrant, and thinks,

Peter: Hmm! This car doesn't belong here. Since I feel super strong, maybe I can do a super deed.

He then lifts up the car and shoves it down the street.
I imagine Peter's next thought was, "Gosh, maybe I can help the world by curing it of the plague of illegal parking! Why, I could be, the AMAZING PARKING-MAN! No, wait, SPECTACULAR PARKING-GUY, or how about the SENSATIONAL MASTER PARKER! I like that last one..."

We pick up the story as a big safe is falling on Peter's head. This is also not in the original version, I believe. Apparently, someone was lifting a safe onto a roof for no apparent reason, since there are no windows on that building. Probably part of some nefarious villain's plan. ("If I drop safes on people's heads, I can steal their money! I can never be caught! Ha! That is, unless the police decide to look on the roof. Hmmm...") Peter discovers that, "something warns me of danger. I'll call it my Spider-Sense," as he leaps out of the way. At this point, I would call it my no-safe-on-head-sense, but hey, that's just me.

We then go to Peter's room, where he sits in quiet contemplation for one panel. Then the next panel has a violent red background and he pounds his fist and shouts, "Now I know! I'll use my powers to help others!" (Instead of using them to annoy others as a parking attendant, apparently.)
He designs web shooters, sews his costume, puts it on, and jumps out the window, and Spider-man is born. Though exactly how a big botany geek could make a pair of web shooters isn't really clear.

Conclusion
Hmmm... we missing anything... Gee, I don't know, could it be...SATAN!?!? No actually, it's Uncle Ben, who gets nary a mention in this wondrous tale. Not to mention that it's missing the burglar, the TV studio, the wrestling match, the warehouse, Max the agent, Crusher Hogan, the secret plot of the burglar, an X-Men cameo, the lacy undergarments, Bono of U2 and all the horrible things John Byrne did to the origin. The fact it's missing that last one almost makes up for all the others. But geez, no Uncle Ben? I mean, he's sorta important to the whole Spider-Man mythos. Instead, here we get Peter's righteous anger over the treatment of plants and the state of the public parking system to substitute for his Uncle's death.

Pay attention to the name Winslow Mortimer. That may be difficult to do without snickering a bit, but near as I can tell, this guy drew EVERY single issue of Spidey Super Stories, and yet no one's ever heard of him. I assume he went insane after the last issue. I mean, it takes a real bizarre dedication to draw 36 pages of total inanity month after month after month for eight years. His figures are actually drawn pretty well, but his backgrounds are usually non-existent and his characters are so stiff you'll think they're cardboard cut-outs. But hey, its Spidey Super Stories, so no one really cared.

If I were to rate...
I'm not going to rate these stories on their quality. That would be ludicrous. Rather, I'm going to adopt the, "How much would I want to read this if I were drunk" scale of rating. That's what you really want to know, right? This one is lame, but not nearly as lame as some of the other gems later in the series. I was going to give it two stars, but it gets a bonus for being Spidey's origin, pathetic as it is.

[Cody H]

If I were to rate...
I'm not going to rate these stories on their quality. That would be ludicrous. Rather, I'm going to adopt the, "How much would I want to read this if I were drunk" scale of rating.I like the scale but just want to clarify that if you really want to read it while you're drunk then it's bad? Oh, and I imagine you're mini-review was more entertaining than the actual comic, nice work.

[666andahalf]

Out of all the Spidey stories I've read, Paul Jenkins' run on Spectacular Spider-Man Vol. 2 was the worst. Instead of helping bring Venom back as an intimidating villain, he utterly ruins the character, then proceedes to do the same with the Lizard and get caught up in the "Ock Craze" by writing a crappy Doc Ock story in time for Spiderman 2.

Maximum Carnage was only good in the last part when Venom was just utterly beating the snot out of Carnage for the entire issue. Just imagine yourself as Venom in that situation and you'll feel better about the storyline.

And of course, Sins Past...because they just HAD to show Norman and Gwen getting it on... *shudder*

[Peter Parker]

I like the scale but just want to clarify that if you really want to read it while you're drunk then it's bad? Oh, and I imagine you're mini-review was more entertaining than the actual comic, nice work.He-he, thanks, I actually read my review again to laugh at it. :D

But seriously, this comic is so lame, its actually good (you can just spend hours and hours teasing about the "villains" in the stories, IF, they even deserve that name).

EDIT: Eh, since we have a thing going on I hope you don't mind me posting another review of another of the ludicrous villains in the stories. Here you will see why I said that the villainies really, does not come even close to earn that name in the 2006 Lamest Villain Award (probably so lame people died after reading about them).

As I've said, this is the first in a long, distinguished line of really lame villains that we meet. Watch out world, here comes the uber-villainy of the Spoiler! In issue #1 story #3. :)

The story opens with a random splash page of the Spoiler and his oversize cymbals, creeping up on Spider-Man, who is too busy reading a comic book to even put this lame-o out of our misery. The caption reads, "Let's hope our web-slinger hasn't met his match!" Jesus, lets hope so, because if a guy wearing some kind of oatmeal sack with a big puffy thing on the end of his hat can defeat our web-slinger, Peter's going to have some serious trouble with, say Doctor Octopus, the Green Goblin, or even Chameleon. Heck, in that case, even Magic Burrito Boy ("Care for some hot sauce with that, Spidey?!"), Liquid Soap Dispenser-Man ("I use cleaning products in ways that are NOT factory-recommended!), or my six year-old sister could probably beat our web-slinger. Yeah, Mr. Caption, lets hope he hasn't met his match.

The story proper opens with Spidey finding a rubber-glove sandwich. Spidey makes the astute observation that, "You can't even chew it!" Apparently Aunt May makes the only edible kind of rubber-glove sandwiches. Spidey then sees a fire hydrant with a "No DOGS Allowed" sign. He thinks, "Who would spoil a dog's morning walk?" Maybe the public santation department, huh? I mean, c'mon Spidey, who wants to see a dog pee all over the sidewalk? No, Spidey immeadiately suspects super-villainy at work behind these dastardly acts.

We then meet the Spoiler, who is leaping towards us like some kind of spastic Olympic long-jumper. He takes a bow and arrow, and shoots (and spoils!) a balloon being held by an oblivious kid with a really dopey smile on her face. Where exactly this bow and arrow came from isn't really clear, since its about twice the size of his bag. Maybe his hobo purse is really a Magic Bag of Extreme Voluminity or something. Especially since he then pulls out cymbals as large as elephant ears for his next horrible assault on decent society.

The Spoiler (with cymbals) then sneaks up behind a unsuspecting couple sitting on a park bench. Now, I use couple in only the loosest sense, though while the girl looks like some refugee Jackie Kennedy clone, the guy is ten kinds of major nerd. His bowtie gives him away. How bad is it? I mean like a Harry-Osborn-on-his-worst-day-wouldn't-be-caught-dead-in-this-bowtie kind of bowtie. It's like some huge tropical spider, red with yellow polka dots, has attached itself to this guy's throat. This woman is obviously being paid by the hour to be seen in public with this loser. Apparently she's not being paid for her attention to detail, since when the Spoiler bangs his cymbals together on her ice cream, (spoiling it!) six inches from her head, she merely turns to her 'man' and asks, "Did you say something, dear?" Yeah, dear, I often make a giant metallic CLANG noises on the other side of your head when I talk. I think this girl came straight out of the test tube, frontal lobes pre-fried.

The Spoiler then embarks on his most terribly evil plan yet. He comes to a door, and says, "I also like to spoil signs. What if I made that OUT sign say IN?" Yeah, that may topple the world's economies or something. Great plan, NO ONE is stupid enough to fall for this. Well, up walks "Easy Reader", (yes, that's his name) a member of the Electric Company. All I can say about him is that if the Electric Company ever decides to become an escort service, Easy Reader would be jean-jacketed, sunglasses-wearing, Pimp Daddy Number One. He comes up to the door and says, "'IN?' Just where I wanted to go..." Now tell me with a straight face he isn't practicing his pimp-speak already. Then Easy Reader, unbelievingly, slams his enitre body into the door that won't open. He doesn't even TRY to reach for the handle, he just hurls himself face first at the door. He also screams, "HELP!" in bright pink neon letters (see what I mean...), before he falls to the ground, knocked unconscious by a closed door. As he falls, he's very concerned that he lost his place in his comic book (only 32 pages! That's only a few more than you can count on your fingers, but I know you can do it. Use your toes.) He's much more concerned about his comic book than the fact that he just gave himself a concussion and is now lying passed out in the street. Yup, that's Easy Reader for you.

We now move into the exciting confrontation. Spidey swings by, and the Spoiler says, "Let's duel, Spidey!" while he takes a plunger from his bag. Mmm-hmm. A plunger versus Spider-Man. The smart money was NOT on the Spoiler for this fight. Spidey decides to uh, duel him with a rolled up comic book. (ARGHH! Don't break the spine! You're creasing it, Spidey, stop! Stop!!... Oh well, it was probably just an issue of Spidey Super Stories anyway...) Spidey knocks away the plunger with his rolled up comic book, and then the Spoiler gets his magic cymbals out of thin air, saying something so clever I can't even think of anything to comment about it.
Spoiler: Now I will spoil your web head!
Spidey: You won't harm a hair on it!
Spidey then leaps away from the enormous clangy-sound made by the cymbals. In that panel, he actually looks like he shrunk down to two feet tall and flew away, but that's more a problem with Winslow Mortimer's penciling skills than the story. Many other things are the fault of the story.

Spidey then lures the Spoiler back to the scene of the whole IN/OUT door thing. Apparently, scavnegers have retrieved Easy Reader's body and sold it for parts, because he's not there anymore. Now stay with me here and pay attention, because it gets a little complex. Spidey takes the 'IN' sign off the door, so it again reads 'OUT', just as it originally did. Spidey then (somehow) gets on the other side of this door, and the Spoiler comes up to it. The Spoiler, who jointly shares the "so-stupid-I've never-mastered-door-technology award" with Easy Reader, tries to go in the 'OUT' door. One would think, since he PUT the 'IN' sign there, that he would know that the door is an out door. Especially since as a friendly reminder, Spidey switched the signs so it even says 'OUT' again. But no, someone hasn't been taking their Ritalin, and the Spoiler pushes on the door as Spidey opens it from the inside and slams the Spoiler 30 feet backwards, hard enough to make the Spoiler's body shatter a brick wall. Presumably, it was also hard enough to shatter the Spoiler's spine and liquefy his internal organs, which are slowly leaking out through a gaping chest wound. Jesus Spidey, leave something for the kids to bury. I mean, sure he was evil and all, but slamming him headfirst through a brick wall seems a tad severe for smashing ice cream and pointing out Easy Reader's stupidity. Spidey sypathetically says, "Boy, he sure spoiled that wall!" and then has a laugh at his own cleverness.

In Conclusion...
I think the Spoiler didn't really focus enough in his criminal identity. Ok, you're the Spoiler. So what do you plan on spoiling? Spoiler: "Well, gee, pretty much everything, I guess..." See what I mean? You're just never going to accomplish your criminal goals like that. Maybe he could be the Pretty-Flower Spoiler, or the Clean-Underwear Spoiler, but let's narrow it down a bit, eh?

Alright, let's talk about his outfit. All brown, covering his whole body, made out of some kind of burlap sack. The word 'SPOILER' in big yellow letters on his chest. Big rips in his knees, gloves, boots and by his belly-button that are NOT supposed to be there. A ratty cape. And a hood covering the upper part of his face that ends in a big yellow puffy ball. You know the kind, the ones on the winter hats your Mom would make you wear to grade school and then big Brett White would come over and pull on it and say, "Ha! You stupid puffy-head little loser!" And then he'd make you eat the black snow. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.

But anyway, don't you think the Spoiler should have tested his success as a super-villain before getting his name embrodiered on his sack/outfit? I mean, maybe he could fix some of the rips in his costume first, before embarking on his criminal career. You don't show up in ripped oatmeal sacks when you're intereviewing with Price-Waterhouse. Try and dress for success, Spoiler. You can start accessorizing the oufit later.

Overall Rating...
4 stars. I think Spoiler deserves a place in Spider-Man's rogue gallery, preferably slightly to the left of Spot, and directly behind Big Wheel and Drom, the Backwards Man.

[nuclearman]

I remember an issue where he was on the Leno show...can't remember why or when.... may have been in one of those compilation annual hardcover books... I found it very hard to get through that one.

[Peter Parker]

http://www.spiderfan.org/comics/images/spiderman_super_stories/003.jpg
The Circus of Crime. This'll be a fast one. Despite the fact that's its thirteen pages, it's so dull and ordinary even I was (almost) at a loss to make fun of it. Only by using my super-sarcasm powers was I able to drag any amusement out of it at all.

The story opens with Peter Parker, suave as he is, trying to drag Aunt May out for a "night on the town". He's just gotten a bonus for selling photos to JJJ, and rather than trying to find a friend to have fun with, he wants to take out his Aunt. Not that there's anything wrong with that, we all should be so respectful of our elders as that good old Peter. But Aunt May will have none of this tomfoolery, or possibly shenanigans.

Aunt May: You must save your money for school. You're going to be a great scientist someday!
Peter: But I can earn a lot more (taking photos)! Mr. Jameson says my photos are super!

Great dedication there, Peter. It's nice for a children's comic to show the importance of professions in science. "Screw science! I'm all about the cold hard cash!" I myself am occasionally tempted by the evil dollar, but then I remember how researching solar dust nebulas increases general world happiness. Yeah...

So Peter, turned down *snicker* by his own Aunt for a date, goes back up to his room and starts studying, heh. He then has a two-page flashback. He explains how he sets the timer on his camera, becomes Spidey, gets photos of himself in action, and then sells them to JJJ. JJJ says, "I hate that web-head. I don't trust anyone who wears a mask. But people want to read about Spider-Man. So I'll buy every Spider-Man picture you get!" He says this as he rips up the Spider-Man photos he just bought, which doesn't make a whole lot of sense. But whatever, he gives Peter five five dollar bills (paying him under the counter!) and sends him on his way. The irony of Peter working for the man who hates him and earning money taking pictures of himself (the dream of photo majors everywhere) is cleverly illustrated by a devious "wink" to the audience.

I just realized what a scam Peter has here. I mean, anytime he needs some cash, he just dresses up and starts snapping photos of himself. Then he gets money. That rocks. Since Jameson says he would buy every photo, I'd put cameras everywhere. "Here's a shot of Spider-Man in bed, here he is on the can, here he is eating a low-fat yogurt product for breakfast. And I've got ten other rolls. At twenty-five dollars a photo, you owe me six thousand dollars. I'll accept tax-free cash." Man, that would be sweet.

Peter finally stops flashbacking, and his Aunt comes up to his room, saying she's changed her mind about doing something with loser Peter and would like to go to the circus that night. She shows Peter the flyer, which consists of a picture of each member of the circus and their names. So you can see the Ringmaster, with his Spirally-Hypno Top Hat(tm) and Evil Villain Thin French Mustache(tm). Also there's a picture of "The Crafty Clown" on his unicycle, holding what appears to be a giant scythe. First of all, I prefer my clowns more "Funny" than "Crafty", but at least he's not the "Intolerably Annoying Clown". And secondly, he looks like he just ran over his dog with his unicycle or something. He seems to be weeping and has a giant sorrowful frown on, in his ridiculous (even for a clown) outfit. I almost started crying just looking at this mass-produced newsprint reproduction of a drawing someone did of someone looking at a newspaper advertising supplement print of his photograph. He looks THAT sad. And let's not forget he's still holding a giant scythe. As for the others in the Circus (of Crime!), there's the Great Gambinos, midget acrobats who stand on each other's heads, and the Human Cannonball, who looks like a normal guy in work-out clothes with the giant tip of Crayola Crayon 218: Battleship Grey strapped to his head. And last but not least, let us not forget the charming Princess Python, who always gets my vote for, "Super-chick in green fishnet that I would most like to sleep with," beating Poison Ivy by a landslide, because I don't handle skin rashes well. Plus, she's Princess Python.

"It looks like such a nice circus!" says Aunt May. Well, ok, we'll chalk this one up to your vision not being what it used to be.

We then get one page of the Circus of Crime setting up for the big night. The Clown still looks like someone just shot his best friend, but trooper that he is, he's practicing on his unicycle all the same. Oh, and apparently it was not a scythe he was holding after all, but rather a miscolored eight-foot tall walking cane. Really. Princess Python is running around with her snake, which is about fifty feet long and four feet across. Human Cannonball is climbing in and out of his cannon to make sure that all-you-can-eat Ponderosa bar hasn't hampered his ability to fit in the cannon. The Gambinos are doing gay acrobat stuff in tights, and the Ringmaster's yelling at them all about how this will be "their greatest show AND their most daring crime." And then Mr. Caption promises the next chapter will be, "More fun than a barrel of monkeys!" What's Spidey Super Stories obsession with monkeys, anyway? Every issue, they have to sneak in gorillas or monkeys or apes in somewhere. We're three for three issues so far. What's up with that?

Anyway, Peter and his Aunt get to the circus, sit down, the Ringmaster introduces everybody, and the show begins. Meanwhile Aunt May begins to "feel a little tired", and even though its only issue 3 of Spidey Super Stories, Peter knows as well as we do what that means (once again). More heart attacks for Aunt May! Peter offers to get her something to drink, thinking, "I know Aunt May has heart trouble, and doesn't want to scare me." But unfortunately, it's a children's book, so we don't get to see Aunt May's heart exploding or whatever and the plot point is dropped.

Ringmaster then starts his hypnotizing thing (chanting, "Your Will is My Will! Your Will is My Will!") and the Circus begins to collect the valuables. You know, I just realized, since this is clearly a circular big top, what are the people in the other half of the tent doing while the Circus robs this half? Maybe they think mock-robbery is an amusing circus thing. Oh, those silly circus people!

Peter uses his God-like Spider-sense to immediately know something is wrong in the tent, even though no one is in danger, especially him, since he is outside of the tent and can't even see the robbery. I don't think that's how it's supposed to work, but whatever. Peter decides the only thing to do is to climb up the ropes holding up the circus tent to the very top, still dressed as Peter Parker. This is in full view of everyone walking around outside the tent. He then flings off his clothes on top of the tent, and changes into his Spidey outfit. On top of the tent. At least you could've found a Porta-Potty or something, and then you could have crawled up the side of the tent without you know, giving away your secret identity or something. Or for that matter, you could've just wandered right in the main entrance, it's only the Circus of Crime here.

But he drops in on the criminal circus through the little hole at the top of the tent.
Ringmaster: Spider-Man!
Spider-Man: Well, it isn't Dumbo the Flying Elephant!

Well said. We then get to the embarrassing hand-to-hand combat parts. Mostly embarrassing for the Circus of Crime, but also embarrassing for Spider-Man, the penciller, the writer, and even the reader. The Great Gambinos try to tackle Spider-Man from opposite directions, and he ducks and they knock themselves out. The Clown (still looking miserable) throws some red rubber balls at Spider-Man's head. That's his big attack. Spidey webs up his unicycle, which apparently stops him because all that unicycle riding has atrophied his legs. Princess Python then has her enormous snake try and crush Spider-Man, but Spidey gets out of it and ties the snake in a giant knot. He then uses the snake's tail to tie up Princess Python, yes, with her own giant snake. Mmmm... Princess Python bondage scene...

*Ahem* Anyway, Spidey then decides the best way to handle the Human Cannonball is to get on a trapeze and swing directly over the cannon that the Cannonball has just climbed into. I might have, oh, I don't know, walked over to where the cannon was, and taunted the Human Cannonball from out there. He's not really threatening unless you stay directly in front of the cannon, which of course Spidey did. But Spidey puts his Super-Agility to good use for a change, twists out of the way, grabs the Human Cannonball by the ankles, and throws him back at the Ringmaster. Though I think it would have been easier to just walk over to the Ringmaster and then stuff him in the cannon with the Cannonball. Ah well, lost opportunities. Then all the members of the Circus of Crime conveiniently become conscious/untied/figure out how their legs work and stand right next to each other, allowing Spidey to web them all up in a single big web ball.

Spidey then uses the Ringmaster's hat to hypnotize everyone into believing that it was a wonderful show and they can all wake up now. He doesn't even need the stupid chant to do it. Man, if it was that easy to hypnotize people I would have learned it long ago. But everyone wakes up, Peter changes back to his street clothes and finds Aunt May, and still has time for the Story Ending Pun.

Aunt May: You missed the show, and you didn't take one picture!
Peter: It really doesn't matter, Aunt May. My camera is out of film anyway!
Aunt May: Sigh!

Ha. Was that a joke? "My camera is out of film anyway!" Where did that come from? It makes no sense, it's not funny, and it relates to nothing in the story. *Argh* BAD WRITING MAKE ME KILL...

[Pheonix-NoRelation]

The Marvel Knights story after Millar's run was awful with the lame superman rip-off that sorta came then went. That whole series went downhill after he left no wonder they renamed it soon after.

Out of the JMS stuff, Other, Skin Deep, Sins Past his Civil War tie in is good don't get me wrong some of his stuff is good. Just The Other, Skin Deep and Sins Past stick out as stories of his I don't like.

Ugh... Before last week I hadn't read any Marvel Knights Spider-Man except for The Other tie-ins. I was at my local Barnes & Noble and saw they had Vols. 3 & 4 of it so I picked them up. I enjoyed Vol. 3 but Wild Blue Yonder was just dreadful. I mean, you start something toward the beginning of the story w/ Peter & Wolverine and by the end of it there was nothing! And the entire time I just kept thinking... "Did Marvel and DC trade Superman and someone else?" It was terrible.

[Peter Parker]

lol I got not enough space to post that my last review was issue #3 story #1 of, yes, you guess it, Spidey Super Stories.

But here's issue #2 story #1.

Here we first meet Jennifer of the Jungle, who is one of those 'white person in tune with the jungle ways' kind of character. Kinda like Ka-Zar, only even WAY more lame than even him. (Now that's lame) Instead of a cool sabretooth tiger, she has Paul the not-really-intelligent-at-all Gorilla. Plus, she's like 16 and speaks like she just stepped out of a Sweet Valley High novel.

Ch.2: (7 pages)
As the story opens, Spidey is filming some kind of B movie in an alley with Jennifer of the Jungle and Paul the Gorilla. Really. What kind of movie, I won't speculate on in polite company. The director, whats-er-name from the Electric Company, yells "CUT!" as Spidey runs out of webs. She then screams, "Sign! Please!" at her assisstant, who is standing right next to her. He then holds up the "MORE WEBS" sign. Like this happens so often with all the other people in her crappy movies she needs a cue card to remind them to refill their web-shooters. And it's not like she couldn't just say "MORE WEBS" out loud, since Spidey is also standing right next to her. You, know, there's this new-fangled thing called talking TO people, it's like shouting at other random people to get them to hold up signs to show to the person you're trying to communicate with, but it goes a lot faster.

Anyway, Spidey goes to his "dressing room" to refill his web-shooters, and then Kraven the Hunter busts through the glass window. (He's really, really good at this. Don't try this one at home.) A fight ensues, he's "the greatest hunter in the world and Spider-Man is the greatest catch, etc." Usual Kraven speak. Spidey then realizes he's out of webs (apparently the giant block-letter sign a moment ago didn't help) as Kraven throws a steel net over him that he "can't break out of". Kraven then leaps out the window with Spider-Man thrown over his shoulder, caught like a Wookie in a midget teddy bear trap. Spidey somehow seems to think that having his webshooters would have allowed him to bust free of the steel net thrown over his head, whatever. Maybe it's a self-esteem thing. Maybe Spidey just can't face the fact that Kraven schooled him in 5 panels.

The whats-er-mug director (Rita, if anyone cares) sends Jennifer to look for the absent Spidey. She finds a big mess in Spidey's dressing room, and Paul the Gorilla. Who was waiting in the dressing room behind Spidey's changing curtain. Why exactly, uh, I will let you decide, because I don't think I could possibly say anything remotely tasteful. He heard and saw the fight, and does a ridiculous gorilla charade game to tell Jennifer what happened.

*Paul grabs his wrist*
Jennifer: You say Spidey was fixing his web-shooters?
*Paul jumps out the window and then back in like any spastic ape*
Jennifer: Then someone else jumped through the window! Who?
*Paul scratches the top of his head*
Jennifer: Someone with a long mane. I know - it was Kraven the Hunter! But what did Kraven do with Spidey?
*Paul does a mid-air cannonball, swinging his arms around frantically*
Jennifer: Oh, a fight! How did the fight end?
*Paul puts a foot on the broken glass of the window pane and leans out the window*
Jennifer: Kraven carried Spidey away! Paul, we must save Spider-man. Lead the way, Paul!

Alright. I don't care if you're Dian freakin' Fossey and have lived your entire life communing with the lowland gorilla, learning their customs and language, and teaching them bits and pieces of sign language over a period of years. You do not take the time to teach your gorilla the sign for 'long flowing mane of hair'. Or 'fixing web-shooters'. Especially if you're Valley Girl become Jungle Girl Jennifer, who couldn't teach her way out of a soggy grocery bag.

Anyway, back to the story, such as it is. Somehow Paul, using his amazing ape nose, has tracked Kraven and Spider-Man to the City Zoo. I always thought that apes sense of smell was just as bad as our sense of smell, whatever.

Now comes a really odd scene. Jennifer swings over the zoo wall, and lands in front of some 10 year old brats, who immeadiately recognize her (probably via milk cartons) and want her autograph. They also ask to "pet Paul." (Bet semi-intelligent Paul loves that.) She doesn't want the children following her to the other part of the zoo where, "Kraven may hurt them." So she runs away, saying, "Sorry! Paul needs his afternoon walk!" (what, and you can't stop for half a second to let them pet the freakin' monkey? See if they buy your action figure now.)

Meanwhile, at Kraven's hide-out (a grass hut in the middle of the lion exhibit, duh) he's making a bamboo cage to hold Spider-Man. I mean, alright Kraven, sure your steel net worked, but let's not get too cocky here. Spidey wakes up, refills his web-shooters with an extra cartridge Kraven nicely left him, and uses a very convenient spear to cut the extra-thin ropes binding his hands. He then throws off the steel net like he was hand-tossing a pizza. Kraven apparently never bothered to tie down the steel net, or even close it. No, he just bound Spidey's hands with some string, and threw the net over him like a soft downy quilt. Self-confidence is a great thing, but if I managed to capture Spider-freakin'-Man, I sure wouldn't use Silky Sheer pantyhose and scotch tape to hold him. And I definitely wouldn't leave any convenient sharp objects lying on the ground next to him. Man, I SO should be a super-villain.

So Spidey has freed himself, all without the help of wonder-dork Jennifer. So Kraven comes over to the now completely free and standing up ready-to-kick-his-butt Spider-Man and orders, "Now, Spider-Man, into the (bamboo) cage!" You know Kraven, last time I checked mind-control was not on your list of powers. (rippling mustache, possibly average agility, and a high tolerance for the smell of elephant dung) Better luck next time. Spider-Man throws the steel net at him (which he easily avoids, unlike Spidey. Ha, take that Spider-Man, ya hoser!) Then Paul and Jennifer choose this moment to crash in directly through the grass-hut wall behind Kraven, and Paul tackles him.

Kraven then uses the move I wish he would use a little more. He grabs Spidey by the ankles, swings him around like an Olympic Hammer Thrower, and tries to hit Jennifer and the monkey. With Spider-Man. Who he is holding by the ankles. Hahahahahahahaha. *giggle* *snort* Hahahaha...

Heh heh... *whew*... alright, I'm better now. Kraven then orders his trained lion to attack Paul. It pounces on Paul and knocks him on the ground, about to shred him in true king of the jungle fashion. Jennifer then demonstrates her awesome jungle knowledge by pulling on the lion's tail. Yup, her plan is to annoy it, until hopefully it eats her first. Oh wait, but Spidey (showing his ever-present concern for the welfare of moronic children) throws her about four feet of that wimpy string Kraven tied him up with, and then ignores her. Meanwhile, the lion has turned to glower at Jennifer, and looks like he's about knock her head off with one swipe. Then Spidey has his fight, and the next time we see the lion, Jennifer has managed to tie all four paws of the snarling beast together with that itty bitty string, and is carrying it under one arm while swinging from a tree. I don't know what the hell is going on. Maybe Kraven went to the discount pet store, and accidental! ly got the pacifist Ghandi lion. Who, uh, apparently only weighs about 60 pounds instead of a ton or two. Maybe it's a inflatable lion. I just don't know.

Spidey is meanwhile having his exciting climactic showdown with Kraven. Kraven jumps Spidey from behind, shouting "Now I shall strike again!" To which Spider-Man replies, "But I'd say that was a strikeout!" Kraven has broken Stupid Villian rule #16, never shout anything as you sneak up on a hero who may not know you're there. Not only will he notice you're right behind him and then proceed to beat you up, he'll without fail turn what you said into a lame pun. A horrible, awful pun that will echo in your head, all those cold lonely dark nights in prison, until you basically go insane and kill yourself. Oh, wait, Kraven already did that...

So Spider-Man grabs one of Kraven's arms and slams him face first into the ground (*WHAM* "That's for the swinging-me-by-the-ankles thing. *WHAM* And that's for trying to hit the monkey with me." *SLAM*). Kraven then wisely runs away, and Spider-Man runs ahead of him and sets a trap by stretching some webs between two trees. Kraven, using his fearsome jungle instincts to their fullest, runs directly into the giant spiderweb. Spidey finally looks around to see whether the lion has actually digested Jennifer and the monkey yet, and instead finds her hefting the trussed-up lion under one arm. Yeah, I was surprised too.

They all then head back to the B-movie set. The director says, "Spidey, let's try that again. Okay, more webs!" For no apparent reason, she then tries to hit her assisstant with her little director stick, but he wisely covers his chest with the MORE WEBS sign. But Spidey is out of webs again, and we then get a close-up of the director's lunatic eyes. "NO MORE WEBS! NO MORE WEBS!" she chants as she runs off into the night, her fragile mind having snapped or something. I don't know, I stopped trying to make sense of this as soon as Jennifer beat the lion. The Merciful End.

Rating:
4 stars. C'Mon, Kraven almost kicked Spidey's butt here. And the monkey charades scene was way fun.

[ruff]

long time ago probably in the 70's spiderman vs The rocket racer. Is the worst spiderman comic of all time.

[Peter Parker]

long time ago probably in the 70's spiderman vs The rocket racer. Is the worst spiderman comic of all time.
Oh yea, that one is definately one of the worst.

[Keehar]

Aside from the obvious ones like Sins Past, The Other etc, most of the symbiote related stories suck.

Terrible villains.

[PatchMadripoor]

I know this doesn't count as part of the story thread, but talk about ruining good Spiderman content.

Wait til you see the new Green Goblin 2.0 costume from the movie.

It will drain away any excitement of watching Venom.

[Hush Little Batman]

I'm sure One More Day qualifies for a lot of people.

[Alan2099]

I don't think you can hold Spider-man super stories to the same standard as the other comics, still in a wacky crazy stupid way, they can be really fun.

Where else do you get to see Spider-man and Dr. Doom having a lightsabre battle on Doom's planet sized world eating space station or see Thanos flying around on a personalized helicopter and later being taken away by the police? You can't tell me that stuff isn't cool.

[Blader5489]

I'm sure One More Day qualifies for a lot of people.

But at least OMD was readable. There's plenty of crap in Spidey's 45 years of comics that don't even come close to JMS' writing or Quesada's art.

[Leocomix]

The worst Spider-Man stories I can remember:
The Hypno-hustler in PPTSMM, hysterically bad art, story, villain, everything, a tsunami-level disaster.
The Denny o'Neil run on ASM, like "Fusion"
Many of the Web of Spider-Man in the 80s (I stopped reading) including the Secret Wars II crossover issue.
Some of the Marvel Team-Ups inked by Colletta in 1974, including 28, the aforementioned City Stealers which seems like a DC late 50s, early 60s SF short pasted onto Spider-Man.

Clone Saga was seriously bad, I had stopped buying Spider-Man comics but would check an issue now and then in the bookstore with utter puzzlement.
Same for Maximum Carnage

The Female Dr Octopus, I understand Marvel's wish to create a female villain (Michelinie wanted Venom to be a woman) but they should have stuck with Calypso.

To me the worse stories are those that it's painful to keep reading not those I hate because of what happens. I consider that anything eliciting a reaction has to be better than the boring stuff. So while I consider many Venom stories as quite bad, they are not the worse.

[IronKing]

I really liked The Other. Surprised to see so many people hate it.

JMS is a great writer. I can only imagine what they'd say if someone like Chuck Austen had written it.

[ZT4]

I really liked The Other. Surprised to see so many people hate it.

JMS is a great writer. I can only imagine what they'd say if someone like Chuck Austen had written it.

I love Peter David's handling of it, especially when May finds out about Peter's condition and Peter takes them on a grand tour of Doom's castle. He ought to have written the whole arc, JMS was in "I dont care" mode by that point

[drwho]

Other, Gwen's kids, and OMD. They may have come out under JMS, but Joe Q had some type of involvement in them where he could have said no, or this is just bad. Joe Q didnt so it kind of shows his judgement when it comes to stories isnt too great either.

[IronKing]

I love Peter David's handling of it, especially when May finds out about Peter's condition and Peter takes them on a grand tour of Doom's castle. He ought to have written the whole arc, JMS was in "I dont care" mode by that point

Yup, I thought so too. But the story was still really good. It's nice to see something different happen. And it seems like the people who hated it the most are the ones who haven't been happy since Pete became an adult.

[ZT4]

Yup, I thought so too. But the story was still really good. It's nice to see something different happen. And it seems like the people who hated it the most are the ones who haven't been happy since Pete became an adult.

Well, there WAS the Resident Evil moments...

[Rev. Calibos]

I'd be remiss if I didn't include this gem:

http://img64.exs.cx/img64/7373/hhh.jpg


I love how Uncle Ben is just calmly reading his newspaper, oblivious to Peter's tale of near molestation by Skip.



Peter: And.....(sniff!) and then....he.....he tried to get me to touch him THERE!

Uncle Ben: Right, right.........(Oh Beetle Bailey, will you EVER learn, heh heh!)

[ZT4]

If it's any consolation, that's BND canon:wink:

[drwho]

If it's any consolation, that's BND canon:wink:

It is such a headache knowing what happened and what didnt that it just aint worth reading. :evilsmile: