"The Bearded Version!"

[Jack Zodiac]

So, I just got done watching the DVD of "X-Men 3: The Last Stand," and played through the deleted scenes (with the commentary off; I'll have to watch 'em one more time with the commentary on later). Almost all of them were unnecessary as hell, but one scene (or two, rather, as they're related) in particular was hilarious.

There are two deleted scenes where Pyro's rushing down into a bunker to tell Magneto that the cure for the mutant gene has just been announced to the public. The first one is called "The Clean Shaven Version," and as promised, Magneto and Pyro are both clean shaven. The second one is called "The Bearded Version," and before the scene even started I was already chuckling. Pyro rushed down the stairs to tell Magneto and bam! Beard! I lost it! I couldn't stop laughing!

So I got to thinking... what scenes in cinema history would be better if there were "Bearded Versions" of them?

"Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back," when Darth Vader reveals to Luke Skywalker that he is his father... with a fake beard wrapped around his helmet!

"Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark," when the Ark of the Covenant opens up to melt some Nazi faces, instead... they spontaneously grow huge beards!

"The Silence of the Lambs," when Lector has his face mask removed, only to reveal... an Abraham Lincoln beard!

"Scarface," when Tony Montana whips out his rifle and shouts, "Say hello to my little friend!" Instead of whipping out an AK, he whips out... a huge fake beard!

[Gene M.]

<---------------

Everything is better with beards.

[Kirayoshi]

Kind of reminds me of an alternate scene from the Fantastic Four DVD. One part of the movie, Reed and Sue are going out, and Reed comments how Sue always liked 'tough guys'. In the actual movie, Reed morphed his face slightly to give himself a lantern jaw. In the deleted clip, Reed morphed his face into Hugh Jackman as Wolverine.

[Frodo-X]

Everything is better with beards.

Except for ladies. Bearded ladies are not cool.

[Jack Zodiac]

Except for ladies. Bearded ladies are not cool.

"American Beauty," during Lester's first dream sequence about his daughter's friend, when she tears open her blouse, instead of a fountain of roses... a giant beard unravels!

[Gene M.]

Except for ladies. Bearded ladies are not cool.

Everything is better with beards.

[Frodo-X]

Carnies. Nomads, you know. Smell like cabbage.



Small hands.

[Ontir]

Do Mimi Rogers, Nicole Kidman, Katie Holmes, and Kelly Preston count? ;)

ALLEGEDLY!

[Howard Allan]

I always thought that after Mirror Mirror they should have given Regular Spock a beard. He looked great in a beard.

[Ontir]

EVIL CARTMAN!!!

[BoosterBronze]

The Fugitive

Harrison Ford starts the film clean shaven, then he spntaneously grows a beard halfway throug. It would be OUTRAGEOUS!!

[Ontir]

the Golden Girls

One episode, they just quit plucking!

[Jack Zodiac]

In a very special episode of "The Facts of Life," Jo wakes up one morning and notices her body going through changes, then asks Mrs. Garrett why she she has hair growing in funny places. Like her face!

[Ontir]

In a very special episode of "My Three Sons," Dodie wakes up one morning and notices her body going through changes, then asks Uncle Charlie why she she has hair growing in funny places. Like her face!

[ScottDMSimmons]

I also laughed at the bearded Magneto scene.

However, it looked so unreal to me (unlike his Gandalf beard), that I immediately thought of Jackass 2. If you've seen the last regular stunt in that movie, you know what I am talking about.

Scott

[Frodo-X]

I also laughed at the bearded Magneto scene.

However, it looked so unreal to me (unlike his Gandalf beard), that I immediately thought of Jackass 2. If you've seen the last regular stunt in that movie, you know what I am talking about.

Scott

I imagine they were trying very carefully to avoid making him look too similar to Gandalf.
But it didn't look good.

[Jack Zodiac]

I would've preferred him to look like Gandalf, because for all intents and purposes, in my eyes, that deleted scene was there just for the sake of having us laught at and make fun of it. :p

Also, I thought of another good one. "Shawshank Redemption," when the old guy (can't remember his name now) hangs himself by that beam in the halfway house, as the chair slips beneath his feet... a ridiculously huge beard unravels and wafts around as he twitches!

Wow... that's sick.

[the_coldest_sun]

Me and my roommate were watching the Clean Shaven version first, then when the Bearded version came on, before it even showed Magneto, we both laughed that he should be decked out in full Gandalf garb and the scene would go something like this:

In walks Pyro.

Magneto (dressed as Gandalf with voice): Frodo... Frodo, is that you?

Pyro: No, its PYro.


That had us on the floor. But yeah, the dvd had crap extras. Which makes me feel like an ass for buying the special set. Same EXACT dvd, with a mini-Giant Sized X-Men comic included. I paid 8 bucks more for THAT? oh, and some crap trading cards. WOW!

I was really hoping for featurettes and the such. *sigh*

[Jared]

I imagine they were trying very carefully to avoid making him look too similar to Gandalf.
But it didn't look good.

In the commentary Ratner said he was going for a Che Gueverra look, since Magneto fancies himself a mutant revolutionary...but it didn't work. I suspect they realized that before they even shot it, but it was probably too funny to pass up.

Reminds of the Blade II deleted scene where the vampire overlord was given long flowing hair. "It's f**king Michael Bolton!"