How To End A Bad Date

[adoggoesmeow]

"You have an uncle named Bill White? That's so funny....so do I."

[Your Imaginary Pal]

"Well I haven't had an outbreak in about 2 weeks, so it should be pretty safe when the time comes."

[adoggoesmeow]

"How many pushes does it take to get to the center of a huge dump?

OOOONNNNNNEEEEEEEE!!!!!
TTTTWWWWWWWOOOOOO!!!!!
TTTTHHHHHHHRRRRRRREEEEEEE!!!!!

*plop*

AAAHHHHHH.....ttthhhhrrreeeeeeeee."

[bringthenoise]

"When's your next period? Ever since I read The Boys #17 , there's something I've been desparate to try, and I just can't afford a hooker right now"

[Charles RB]

"*gets waiter over, points at date* Kill her."

[Super Hero Guy]

"Have you ever had sex? Because let me tell you, I'm not wasting my time with a smelly, venereal disease ridden prostitute! You don't even have to answer! I can see it on your face! WHORE! DIE, DIE, YOU HARLOT!...Ok, I'm sorry I overreacted. But, since you are a slut, do you think you could go to the parking lot and give me a BJ?"

[Charles RB]

"You're a SKRULL aren't you?! AREN'T YOU?!"

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

"Wait a second, sweetie. Hey, gar-con, here's what she wants: a salad and easy on the dressing. And a glass of water. And, hey pal, separate checks, OK?"

[Charles RB]

"You know how they never caught that axe murderer last year...?"

[Super Hero Guy]

"Honestly, what's the big deal with having cyber sex with a twelve year old? It's not like I actually touched them!"

[Your Imaginary Pal]

"If you don't mind, I need you to rub a salve on my buttocks at about 7:30pm, I'd do it myself, but, my hands are to big to reach the affected area without further tearing the skin."

[Super Hero Guy]

"Oh, I can't wait to introduce you to the other wives down at the compound!"

[section 8]

here is one i lived through a few years back

"would you come with me to pick up a few things, oh and bring the pistol-gripped, pump-action, 12 gauge Remington shot-gun, just in case he's coked up and wants to get buck wild"

i might not have done it if she had asked me on the first date.

[1WEBHEAD]

"How about some Hot Coffee?!"

[Guapo Méndez]

"You know, that guy, the Monster from Austria had the right idea."

[Charles RB]

"I think Gordon Brown is doing a BRILLIANT job!"

[section 8]

My God!! You;re Not Mexican!!!

[Super Hero Guy]

"It's so nice to be on a date for once. It's a lot more personal than those hitchhikers I keep chained up in the basement. The screaming is so annoying."

[Your Imaginary Pal]

So I've never been on a date with a cow before...

[Super Hero Guy]

"I hope you're as good in bed as everyone keeps telling me."

[section 8]

"How Big is your D**k? What?! I coulda swore you were a tranny!!!!"

[mattx110]

"I think Gordon Brown is doing a BRILLIANT job!"
"Is it too much to ask, you call me Maggie Thatcher in bed?


And can I call you Ed Heath?"

[HomerJay]

StoneGold or Ed Cunard could make an "unsolicited facial ejaculation" joke work here, but I'm having trouble so I won't attempt it.

[Michael P]

StoneGold or Ed Cunard could make an "unsolicited facial ejaculation" joke work here, but I'm having trouble so I won't attempt it.

"Well, you may have thought you were saying 'I had a really nice time,' but I distinctly heard 'come on my face.'"

[Super Hero Guy]

"Now before we go back to your place, can I ask, do you own a dog? Yes. Oh great, I've been wanting to act out this fantasy for a long time..."

[section 8]

*this is so wrong*
yeah we could go back to your place but i can't sleep over......i have a forum to moderate

[Super Hero Guy]

"What do you mean you think Batman could beat Captain America?!"