10 Things You (MEN) Need… in Your Closet

[tricksterpup]

From Esquire.
10 Things You Need… in Your Closet
You take care of the socks and underwear. We'll supply you with the rest.

1) WHITE OXFORD BUTTON-DOWN SHIRT: The white button-down can be worn with a suit and tie, on its own with a pair of jeans, or underneath a sweater.

2) LIGHTWEIGHT CASHMERE V-NECK SWEATER: A thin cashmere sweater can be worn every month save for August. Goes with jeans or underneath a suit jacket.

3) SUNGLASSES: Obvious for their functionality (that whole sun-in-the-eyes thing), but also necessary as an accessory that adds the all-important final touch.

4) A DARK PAIR OF JEANS: Make sure they are crisp and able to be worn with a T-shirt, button-down, or the jacket from your suit.

5) ONE SET OF CEDAR SHOE TREES: You need only one pair, to keep your just-worn shoes in good shape.

6) WHITE T-SHIRTS: Sleep in them, wear them to the gym, or use them underneath a shirt or sweater.

7) BLACK LACE-UPS: Clean, dressy black lace-up shoes will work with any color suit and still look at home at the foot of your jeans.

8) OVERNIGHT BAG: Because a man never knows when he might have to flee at a moment's notice, make sure it's big enough to carry two nights' worth of stuff.

9) THREE-BUTTON NAVY SUIT: Navy is the most versatile color for a man's suit. Extend its life by wearing it with a shirt and tie, or wear just the jacket with jeans and a button-down.

10) MEDIUM-WIDTH TIE: If it's too skinny or too fat, you limit the types of shirts you can wear with it. A medium width, in a neutral color and pattern, has the most versatility.


Do any of you have all 10???

[Tommy]

I have one. But I am not going to tell you which one.

Dark pair of jeans.

[Shellhead]

I don't have the cashmere sweater (#2) or the shoe trees (#5), and I don't know anyone under the age of 60 who has the shoe trees. I believe that Esquire magazine will go out of business when the baby boomers are all dead or in retirement homes.

[SINALOA]

I have the dark pair of jeans and the white t-shirts but the t-shirts are not in my closet so that makes 1 item for me.

[Dreadstar]

Do any of you have all 10???

Yep, I have all 10, with the caveat that my navy suit has shrunken (ahem) and needs replacing and my black jeans aren't as crisp as they should be, so THEY need replacing as well.

[hulahulk]

I have all but the three button navy suit. I have a black sports jacket and black pants. I'm actually casually shopping around for a nice suit though. And in regardsto the sunglasses, do prescription ones count?

[borateen]

1) WHITE OXFORD BUTTON-DOWN SHIRT: The white button-down can be worn with a suit and tie, on its own with a pair of jeans, or underneath a sweater.

Got it.

2) LIGHTWEIGHT CASHMERE V-NECK SWEATER: A thin cashmere sweater can be worn every month save for August. Goes with jeans or underneath a suit jacket.

Don't wear sweaters, so this'll never be in my closet.

3) SUNGLASSES: Obvious for their functionality (that whole sun-in-the-eyes thing), but also necessary as an accessory that adds the all-important final touch.

Got 'em. Can't live without 'em.

4) A DARK PAIR OF JEANS: Make sure they are crisp and able to be worn with a T-shirt, button-down, or the jacket from your suit.

Got 'em.

5) ONE SET OF CEDAR SHOE TREES: You need only one pair, to keep your just-worn shoes in good shape.

Since I only have a few pairs of shoes and thus wear them often, I should probably get a pair of these.

6) WHITE T-SHIRTS: Sleep in them, wear them to the gym, or use them underneath a shirt or sweater.

I don't keep them in my closet, but I've got 'em.

7) BLACK LACE-UPS: Clean, dressy black lace-up shoes will work with any color suit and still look at home at the foot of your jeans.

I've gotten lazier with my dress shoes, and when my last pair of black lace-ups needed to be replaced, I ended up getting some I could just slip on and off. But I sacrificed look when I went for comfort, so my next pair will definitely be lace-up.

8) OVERNIGHT BAG: Because a man never knows when he might have to flee at a moment's notice, make sure it's big enough to carry two nights' worth of stuff.

Got it, but I use it for my daily work-out clothes that I take to work.

9) THREE-BUTTON NAVY SUIT: Navy is the most versatile color for a man's suit. Extend its life by wearing it with a shirt and tie, or wear just the jacket with jeans and a button-down.

I've got a black suit and a charcoal suit, and I didn't replace my navy one when I outgrew it, but I think I'm going to have to replace the charcoal one soon, and I'd like another navy one. I do have a navy blazer, though.

10) MEDIUM-WIDTH TIE: If it's too skinny or too fat, you limit the types of shirts you can wear with it. A medium width, in a neutral color and pattern, has the most versatility.

It's the only size tie I wear, and I've got about 20.

[Jeff Brady]

1) WHITE OXFORD BUTTON-DOWN SHIRT:

Yes, but only recently. I haven't worn it since the wedding. Not a fan of white clothes.

2) LIGHTWEIGHT CASHMERE V-NECK SWEATER:

Surely you must be joking.

3) SUNGLASSES:

Prescription. Check.

4) A DARK PAIR OF JEANS:

I don't think I own anything denim.

5) ONE SET OF CEDAR SHOE TREES:

Don't call me "Shirley."

6) WHITE T-SHIRTS:

Again with the white clothes. NO.

7) BLACK LACE-UPS:

Do steel toe boots count?

8) OVERNIGHT BAG:

Nope.

9) THREE-BUTTON NAVY SUIT:

No.

10) MEDIUM-WIDTH TIE:

Yes.

[Forefinger]

I have white t-shirts.

[Ed Cunard]

I'm shoetree-less, so I'm 9/10.

[Winslow]

I have a nice wool V-Neck sweater, but it's not cashmere, so 9/10 for me.

And yes I have cedar shoe trees.

[Slam_Bradley]

1) WHITE OXFORD BUTTON-DOWN SHIRT:[/B]

I have a couple, but I only wear them to Court.

2) LIGHTWEIGHT CASHMERE V-NECK SWEATER:

That ain't gonna happen.

3) SUNGLASSES:

Yep.

4) A DARK PAIR OF JEANS:

They didn't really define "dark."

5) ONE SET OF CEDAR SHOE TREES:

Yeah...right.

6) WHITE T-SHIRTS:

Nope.

7) BLACK LACE-UPS:

I wear cowboy boots.

8) OVERNIGHT BAG:

I have an unreasonable facsimile of one.

9) THREE-BUTTON NAVY SUIT:

No. I need a couple more suits. But I really don't like navy.

10) MEDIUM-WIDTH TIE:

Got ton of em.

[Dreadstar]

I'd go so far as to add an 11th. A black (or dark) knit crew-neck. I have a very nice silk one and I find that when I'm in doubt as to the dress/casual nature of what I'm going to do, it fits in very well.

It's kinda the equivalent of the woman's "little black dress."

[jessecuster3]

10 Things You Need… in Your Closet
You take care of the socks and underwear. We'll supply you with the rest.

1) WHITE OXFORD BUTTON-DOWN SHIRT:
I own like 3 of them, but this should include a blue one as well.

2) LIGHTWEIGHT CASHMERE V-NECK SWEATER:
I have about 5 of these, I love v-neck sweaters in fall.

3) SUNGLASSES:
I generally keep two pairs with me because I am always breaking or losing one of them.

4) A DARK PAIR OF JEANS:
All of my jeans are darker denim. No black ones though.

5) ONE SET OF CEDAR SHOE TREES:
The only one I am missing

6) WHITE T-SHIRTS:
I went through the whole wife beater phase, now I keep about 10 plain ones, its great to get home from work, take off your button down, and your pants change into jeans and you are all set. I also keep about 5 gray ones just to mix it up a bit.

7) BLACK LACE-UPS:
Wearing them right now, I will never understand how people can buy shoes without laces.

8) OVERNIGHT BAG:
I probably have 3 bags that I can use this for.

9) THREE-BUTTON NAVY SUIT:
Yeah, of course

10) MEDIUM-WIDTH TIE
I have plenty of them, even Snoopys sitting at a desk talking on the phone with fake WSJ stock quotes behind all over it.

[HomerJay]

I think there's an 11th that they forgot:

#11
- If you actually have all ten on this list, there is one more thing you may want to keep in the closet: Your latent homosexuality.

sorry, dread

[Jeff Brady]

I think there's an 11th that they forgot:

#11
- If you actually have all ten on this list, there is one more thing you may want to keep in the closet: Your latent homosexuality.

sorry, dread

At least Ed has an excuse!

[drwho]

They forgot about damprid bags to keep the clothes from getting mildewy. Also would a plastic bag count rather then a little suitcase:rolleyes: And down here in florida wtf you need a cashmere sweater for? What if you are allergic to cedar?

[Dreadstar]

sorry, dread

Oh, don't apologize, sweetums. I guess it's good that I didn't mention the leather chaps and cowboy boots I have in there as well...

[jessecuster3]

I think there's an 11th that they forgot:

#11
- If you actually have all ten on this list, there is one more thing you may want to keep in the closet: Your latent homosexuality.


See I would guess the Shoe Tree one is the only "questionable" one. Everything else on the list is actually really conservative.

[BoosterBronze]

Excetping the shoe tree (who the fuck has a shoe tree) I got them all. I love suits and I love cashmere. Mmmmmm cashmere.

[Forefinger]

See I would guess the Shoe Tree one is the only "questionable" one. Everything else on the list is actually really conservative.
tricksterpup posted that. You know that the hidden # 11 is a dog collar.

[hoffmandu]

Box o'porn, box o'comics, and severed head.

[lectatege]

No mothballs?

[lectatege]

or hangers?

[lectatege]

or inflatable sheep?

[tricksterpup]

tricksterpup posted that. You know that the hidden # 11 is a dog collar.
Yeah, and your point is?? I also have a leash in there as well.

[Grazzt]

Yeah, and your point is?? I also have a leash in there as well.

Just out of curiousity, who walks you?

[clayholio]

I have sunglasses, white t-shirts (if you count undershirts - I never, never, never wear white clothes otherwise), and if you count a gym bag as an overnight bag, I have that too. The rest of the stuff would be nice, I'm sure, but I could just about guarantee that I would never wear any of it.

[lectatege]

Yeah, and your point is?? I also have a leash in there as well.

Soooo...
You're not a vicar then?

[tricksterpup]

Soooo...
You're not a vicar then?
A vicar??
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g160/tricksterpup/coyote_in_field.jpg

[Stellar]

Box o'porn, box o'comics, and severed head.

check two of the above.

by the by, did Esquire actually state why men need these things?

[bfrank]

From Esquire.


Do any of you have all 10???


Everything save for number 2....I'm over sweaters.....

[bfrank]

I don't have the cashmere sweater (#2) or the shoe trees (#5), and I don't know anyone under the age of 60 who has the shoe trees. I believe that Esquire magazine will go out of business when the baby boomers are all dead or in retirement homes.
totally necessary for travel......shoe trees that is.....

[macul]

1) WHITE OXFORD BUTTON-DOWN SHIRT: I might. I think I do. I rarely have occassion to wear a white button down.

2) LIGHTWEIGHT CASHMERE V-NECK SWEATER: I have a sweater (really more of a pullover) that I wear during our few cold months. Just enough to get me from the car to the office.

3) SUNGLASSES: Yes. I do live in the Sunshine State (or so I'm told).

4) A DARK PAIR OF JEANS: I have a few pairs of jeans, but they don't get worn too often. They'll get broken out once winter arrives, but otherwise it's shorts or work pants.

5) ONE SET OF CEDAR SHOE TREES: I don't even know what these are.

6) WHITE T-SHIRTS: I've about a dozen of these.

7) BLACK LACE-UPS: I have these, though they aren't necessarily dress shoes. More like "utility" shoes.

8) OVERNIGHT BAG: meh. If I think I might stay overnight at a friend's (due to being up too late or the such) I'll usually have a spare pair of something to wear in the car, but no overnight bag.

9) THREE-BUTTON NAVY SUIT: Nope.

10) MEDIUM-WIDTH TIE: I've a few ties. No idea how they are classified.

[Winslow]

totally necessary for travel......shoe trees that is.....

Yup.

Also, if you don't wear dress shoes much because of casual work wear, they extend the life of your shoes as they sit around in your closet.

They also make polishing your shoes easier.

and the cedar keeps the stink out.

[Winslow]

5) ONE SET OF CEDAR SHOE TREES: I don't even know what these are.

Since this has been stated more than once:


http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0007RPL1E.01-A1LEM297LNF1FK._SCMZZZZZZZ_.jpg

[lectatege]

A vicar??
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g160/tricksterpup/coyote_in_field.jpg

What a sweet little doggy!

[Dreadstar]

What a sweet little doggy!

Oh yeah, you say that now, but wait till the leg-humping starts...

[macul]

Since this has been stated more than once:


http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0007RPL1E.01-A1LEM297LNF1FK._SCMZZZZZZZ_.jpg

Oh, those. Nope, don't have them.

[lectatege]

Oh yeah, you say that now, but wait till the leg-humping starts...

I'll have you know I don't do that any more

[Merey]

Ooo, I want to play.

Okay, I'm going to use my Dad for the "Closet Game" since I know his closet better than any ex boyfriends' and because all my recent former bfs were still in grad school and couldn't afford things like suits, shoe trees...etc..

My Dad has everything by the dark colored jeans. I don't think he's ever owned dark colored jeans. My Dad's a light to medium blue colored jeans guy.

[Kid Omega]

I have all of those things, which is weird, as i am not really a fashion plate or anything.

i also have a tux. and a kilt.

And a full ghostbuster uniform.

[Jack Zodiac]

I don't have any of those things. Fuck, I even lost my last pair of sunglasses. I have one tie, maybe, somewhere, but it sure as shit ain't in my closet. No suit. I've got a navy (I think) blue sports coat I bought at some vintage store because I needed a Spring jacket, but definitely no suit. Haven't got a need for shoe trees. All I have is a pair of boots for work and a pair of sneakers. Haven't worn denim in years, so no jeans. And no cashmere sweaters.

Oh, and this had me absolutely fuckin' rolling!

8) OVERNIGHT BAG: Because a man never knows when he might have to flee at a moment's notice, make sure it's big enough to carry two nights' worth of stuff.

Yeah, I know I'm always running away from home for a day or two and need a napsack to throw my shit in. How old are these fucking writers? Nine?

[howyadoin]

What I've got:1) BLACK BUTTON-DOWN SHIRT: The black button-down can be worn with a suit and tie, on its own with a pair of jeans, or underneath a sweater.

3) SUNGLASSES: Obvious for their functionality (that whole sun-in-the-eyes thing), but also necessary as an accessory that adds the all-important final touch.

4) A BLACK PAIR OF JEANS: Make sure they are crisp and able to be worn with a T-shirt, button-down, or the jacket from your suit.

5) ONE SET OF CEDAR SHOE TREES: You need only one pair, to keep your just-worn shoes in good shape.

6) BLACK T-SHIRTS: Sleep in them, wear them to the gym, or use them underneath a shirt or sweater.

7) BLACK LACE-UPS: Clean, dressy black lace-up shoes will work with any color suit and still look at home at the foot of your jeans.

8) OVERNIGHT BAG: Because a man never knows when he might have to flee at a moment's notice, make sure it's big enough to carry two nights' worth of stuff.

9) THREE-BUTTON BLACK SUIT: Black is the most versatile color for a man's suit. Extend its life by wearing it with a shirt and tie, or wear just the jacket with jeans and a button-down.

10) MEDIUM-WIDTH TIE: If it's too skinny or too fat, you limit the types of shirts you can wear with it. A medium width, in a neutral color and pattern, has the most versatility.What's with the sweater obsession? Was the writer in love with Mr. Rogers?

[howyadoin]

And a full ghostbuster uniform.I don't understand why that didn't make the list.

[Slam_Bradley]

What I've got:What's with the sweater obsession? Was the writer in love with Mr. Rogers?


I dunno. I don't wear sweaters. And no sissy writer for Esquire is gonna convince me to wear them.

[howyadoin]

I'll have you know I don't do that any moreQ: What do you do if a pitbull starts humping your leg?

A: Fake an orgasm.

[howyadoin]

I dunno. I don't wear sweaters. And no sissy writer for Esquire is gonna convince me to wear them.The "every month but August" thing seems fucked up, too. I'd go shirtless from June to September if it were socially aceptable.

(I do own a black turtleneck, but that's only for burglaries.)

[drwho]

What about having a plastic bag for your suit so it doesnt get dusty while hanging in your closet?

[Slam_Bradley]

The "every month but August" thing seems fucked up, too. I'd go shirtless from June to September if it were socially aceptable.

(I do own a black turtleneck, but that's only for burglaries.)


I don't wear turtlenecks either, but that has a lot to do with my personal thermostat. I'm virtually always to hot. I don't even own a winter coat...a leather jacket works fine for me (even when the temp goes below zero farenheit).

[Joe Rice]

1) WHITE OXFORD BUTTON-DOWN SHIRT: I've got a few.

2) LIGHTWEIGHT CASHMERE V-NECK SWEATER: Allergic to wool, but I have quite a few v-necks similar.

3) SUNGLASSES: Yup, old school Johnny Cash Ray Bans.

4) A DARK PAIR OF JEANS: Fuck wearing it with a suit jacket, I'm not seventeen.

5) ONE SET OF CEDAR SHOE TREES: Nope, sorry.

6) WHITE T-SHIRTS: A quarter-drawer full.

7) BLACK LACE-UPS: And brown as well.

8) OVERNIGHT BAG: Two stashed in different places.

9) THREE-BUTTON NAVY SUIT: Navy pinstriped, but yeah.

10) MEDIUM-WIDTH TIE: Christ, what a tie collection I have.

[howyadoin]

8) OVERNIGHT BAG: Two stashed in different places.Keeping your options open?

[Joe Rice]

Keeping your options open?

As much as possible.

I also lose things.

[Kid Omega]

I don't understand why that didn't make the list.

I have no idea. (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/Kamandi/g1.jpg)

I'm quite dapper.

[macul]

I just realized why I don't have most of that stuff in a closet. I'm married. I really don't have closet space.

[howyadoin]

I have no idea. (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/Kamandi/g1.jpg)

I'm quite dapper.Plus it's highly functional in a variety of situations.

Who wants to face down a free-floating torsal apparition in a cashmere sweater?

[Puma]

I dunno. I don't wear sweaters. And no sissy writer for Esquire is gonna convince me to wear them.

from a completely personal woman's POV, I think a man in a good sweater is incredibly sexy.

[thehod]

Lets have a look at this then...

1) WHITE OXFORD BUTTON-DOWN SHIRT:
Yeah, I've got a white shirt. Somewhere.

2) LIGHTWEIGHT CASHMERE V-NECK SWEATER:
I've got sweaters, but they're not lightweight, cashmere or v-neck. More like heavy, wool and turtleneck. Remember where I live ladies and gents.

3) SUNGLASSES:
Once again, remember where I live. You need sun to carry off sunglasses without looking like a knob. I've got a pair that comes out approximatly ten days a year or whenever I fly south.

4) A DARK PAIR OF JEANS:
I've got dark, light, stonewash, rusted. All sorts of jeans.

5) ONE SET OF CEDAR SHOE TREES:
WTF?? The only thing I put in shoes are my feet. Other than that, they live on the floor.

6) WHITE T-SHIRTS:
I've got one, somewhere. Prefer pale blue at the moment to be honest.

7) BLACK LACE-UPS:
Black shoes? Yep.

8) OVERNIGHT BAG:
I've even got suitcases too. Do I get extra points?

9) THREE-BUTTON NAVY SUIT:
I've got suits sure, but not navy, and if I'm ever caught wearing the jacket with jeans, you all have my permission to beat me in the bollocks with a big stick with a rusty nail in it. I do have a battered pinstrip jobby that I wear with converse, jeans and a t-shirt, but thats a totally different look. Its a little like...
http://kipesquire.powerblogs.com/files/kipesquire-tennant.jpg
but without the tie. And the trousers. And the coat. And the jacket is not done up. Nothing like the picture then.

10) MEDIUM-WIDTH TIE:
A tie is a tie is a tie. As long as its not kipper, or pencil thin with piano markings on it, what does it really matter about the width?

[estee]

I got everything except the cedar shoe-trees and the V-neck sweater. But I don't really like V-neck. But I should have the shoe-trees.

[nihil_domini]

from a completely personal woman's POV, I think a man in a good sweater is incredibly sexy.
Sexy isn't masculine.:D

[Ontir]

1) a pair of Khakis, blue jeans, navy and black trousers

2) Khaki, denim, cargo, and 3 gym shorts

3) at least 7 pairs of boxer briefs

4) a pack of wife-beatres

5) a good black belt

6) 3 ties, print, black, and blue

7) a black dress shoes, sandals (NOT flip-flops), and sneakers

8) a dozen pairs of white socks

9) a variety of dress socks

10) a good sportcoat

Those are the minimums.

[Patient Boy]

The weather here isn't very conduicive for the wearing of sweaters, unfortunately.

I don't have shoe trees, cedar or otherwise. No overnight bag (I'm assuming they mean one that's actually packed), no navy suit and the only tie I have I got for $5 (Singapore dollars, mind you) that I wore to my prom.

[Evil Sneak]

I have all 10, I have a 3 button Navy suit and a 6 button suit. I actually prefer the 6 button, the 3 button one makes me look fat.

[lectatege]

Sexy isn't masculine.:D

Soooo ...

Which one are you?

[P-Man]

I don't have a single one of those things in my closet. I work in a PVC pipe factory. My hobbys include jacking off, going to flea markets, and playing really heavy stuff on my guitar. What the fuck do I need a cedar shoe tree for? Hell, I don't even own a pair of shoes. I've just got work boots, not-work boots, and flip flops.

Then again, I'm white trash. I don't think this list was meant for me.

[nihil_domini]

Soooo ...

Which one are you?
Sigh.

Neither.