Answers Gail should give at Comic Con panels! [Archive]

OzBat!

07-18-2006, 12:24 AM

As gail goes out the door, I know we all want her to have a REALLY great time and not be too stressed out by her responsibilities representing various publishers on Panels! SO! Here's a quick list of pre-prepared stock answers for use in any situation!

1. Why YES, WiR was the opening salvo in my bid for world domination!

2. I write all my male characters with the same voice... the voice of my mad ozarks alcoholic uncle, Otis, who never outgrew his childhood facination with PeeWee Herman. It brings a certain symbolic something to my work!

3. Marv Wolfman is my Dad!

4. What's that? Wallet in the Front Poc--- I can't HEAR you! LALALALALALALAAAA!

5. I do not now, nor have I ever, had any knowledge of the existance or no of any "batgail" costume.

Your turn! Remember, she needs these PRONTO!

Cam63

07-18-2006, 12:28 AM

" No, I don't know who the hell came up with the idea for cheese-in-a-can and beer flavoured ice cream. No one does. "

PS. I love the BatGail costume idea. :D

siuntres

07-18-2006, 12:28 AM

"No, I don't have a sixth toe!"

Cam63

07-18-2006, 12:35 AM

" Yes, even though he's a credit to the police force and I consider him a real life hero, I'm never telling Red Berens what the ' wallet in the front pocket ' thing means ! I'm evil that way ! "

OzBat!

07-18-2006, 12:41 AM

"I can drink Beau Smith/Chuck Dixon/Dan Didio/Geoff Johns/Your Creator of choice under the table any given Sunday, and he'll DAMN WELL LIKE IT!"

Paul McEnery

07-18-2006, 04:12 AM

AAAAAGH! My gibbon is at the laundromat!

David Bedlam

07-18-2006, 05:14 AM

"Ninjas. Definetly ninjas to win."

DubipR

07-18-2006, 06:39 AM

"Only when perscribed by Sabrinaset"

OzBat!

07-18-2006, 06:53 AM

"I only write what the great spirit MeiBongWee tells me to write."

"I'm not really sure what the answer to that is, but I just love what you've done to your hair!"

"These comics. They're made of PEOPLE!"

"Could you ask me that one again, but this time stand on your head and sing it to me?"

"I prefer 'unpredictably wacky' over 'insane anti-feminist demagogue', personally."

Sabrinaset

07-18-2006, 06:55 AM

"There is no Fight Club."

TomStillwell

07-18-2006, 08:09 AM

"It takes three licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop."

TCJohnson

07-18-2006, 08:46 AM

*Yes, I have six*

*The extra elbow really comes in handy*

DubipR

07-18-2006, 09:59 AM

"That boil on my butt....surprise, its Ray Tate!"

Gail Simone

07-18-2006, 11:37 AM

"My message board posters are MEAN MEAN MEAN!"

Gail

Jeff Brady

07-18-2006, 11:40 AM

"J-Bolt is a work of fiction concocted by MacQ and myself. We thought it'd be fun to screw with your heads."

stealthwise

07-18-2006, 11:41 AM

"Busiek always flushes twice!"

Night Swordsman

07-18-2006, 11:43 AM

"42".......

Larry Dixon

07-18-2006, 12:49 PM

About Catman:

"Yes, he does have barbs on it, like a real cat."

About Oracle:

"She was always into wheelchairs. It's a fetish thing. Babs has always had'em. Even when she was Batgirl, she had a Batchair, with black rubber and straps and special---very special---devices. Back then, DC Editorial just thought it might be inappropriate to actually show it. It was a more innocent time."

About Mad Hatter:

"Nine and a half wide is not his hat size."

sk716

07-18-2006, 04:09 PM

"Actually, I get all of my story ideas from reading the back of cereal boxes."

"Only Mark Waid knows."

LtMarvel

07-18-2006, 04:53 PM

"After #100, Birds of Prey will switch to DC's Revolutionary War-era heroines."

Chris Hansbrough

07-18-2006, 05:12 PM

Um. I hate to devastate my fanbase but......(takes off body suit and puts on unitelligible british accent) I'm really Grant Morrison in Drag

Damo

07-18-2006, 05:22 PM

She should walk up to the microphone, say "Hello, I must be going" and walk right out of the panel.

I would actually pay to see that.

TCJohnson

07-18-2006, 05:23 PM

"Catfood. Lots and lots of catfood."

"Not if I have anything to say about it...and guess what, I do!"

Chris Hansbrough

07-18-2006, 05:26 PM

Sorry I Have to go. I have a Jill in my freezer and I need to start defrosting her before dinner

ElvisGuy

07-18-2006, 05:39 PM

"I'll answer your question...when you get a better haircut."

Chris Hansbrough

07-18-2006, 05:41 PM

no, no I will not make out with you

TCJohnson

07-18-2006, 05:41 PM

"that is the dumbest question I have ever heard and I am going to get security to escort you out!"

"Yes, I am going to be bringing Ted Kord back!"

OzBat!

07-18-2006, 05:53 PM

"I've seen bacteria/Hindi Transvestite Lepracauns/boogers with better story-telling abilities than THAT hack!"

"Hmmmm.... java! Sweet, sweet java!"

"Dan... you're massaging my feet all WRONG!"

OzBat!

07-19-2006, 12:54 AM

"Continuity is my bitch!"

"SMILE when you say that, Sailor!"

"I like waffles. Don't you like waffles?"

Cam63

07-19-2006, 01:38 AM

"There is no Fight Club."

Oh, sure there's a Fight Clu*SLAP !*

Owww.... No, there is no Fight Club.

Cam63

07-19-2006, 01:43 AM

" I'm not comfortable answering your question until you put some clothes on, Ky'. "

Cam63

07-19-2006, 01:50 AM

" Ky' if you don't put some clothes on, I'm not going to answer your question. "

" No, a fuzzy blue duck over your pee pee is not considered clothing. "

" It's not a blue duck ? Well, it looks like a blue duck from here. "

" About time you got your shit together, Security ! "

" OK, you can stop hitting him now. "

Gilda Dent

07-19-2006, 02:08 AM

"I happen to be clone number 5. The original Gail is still a hairdresser. The other four clones play for an all girl jazz cabaret in Kansas City, and they know how to bring the funk, baby."

"We're actually quite proud of the rap tie in being cowritten by Eminem and Hanson, a one shot to be called "Mmmm Bop."

"Starting with issue 100, it will in fact become, Zinda and the Birds of Prey."

"Yes."

"I first found out that I was a Lebian way back when I was a little girl, and my parents decided it was time to tell me of our treacherous escape from Lebia . . ."

"I agree, employers who interfere with their employee's vacation plans prventing them from coming to SDCC should be taken out behind the chemical sheds and shot."

"Well, my first choice was to add Lana Lang to the cast as Insect Queen, and rename it Bee-Bop, but Zinda isworking out well."

Gilda

Cam63

07-19-2006, 05:12 AM

" Sure I'd love Madonna to play Zinda in a big screen adaption of BoP ! "

WhiteRose

07-19-2006, 05:51 AM

" Sure I'd love Madonna to play Zinda in a big screen adaption of BoP ! "

>_<

"Spoon."

"Why yes, Josh will be getting his own book."

"Yes, Grant Morrison is my ghost writer."

Cam63

07-19-2006, 06:18 AM

" How'd you hear about my plans to write a 10 year long arc consisting of Huntress screwing everyone in the DCU !? "

" Yes, even Jimmy Olsen ! "

Matt Linton

07-19-2006, 07:19 AM

*I need to sell the image to sell the book. I mean, would the audience still buy the whole black rage angle if they found out the book was written by a... you know...

*Archie was the bitch and Jughead was the butch. That's why he was always going around wearing that crown-looking hat... he was the king of queen Archie's world.

*YOUR MOTHER'S A TRACER!

*See that man over there? (points to Bendis) He the Devil! Never take your eye off the man.

OzBat!

07-19-2006, 07:35 AM

"Grant Morrison/Garth Ennis/Marv Wolfman/Charles Shultz/Insert your favorite creator here, is an absolutely brilliant writer... when the drugs are working."

"they don't share with me anymore, not since the fertilizer incident."

"that's a really, really, really interesting perspective you have there. Did you pay retail for it?"

"Did I mention I love Disneyland?"

Sharpandpointies

07-19-2006, 07:47 AM

"No, I know nothing about the situation with Cassandra Cain! Stop asking me!"

Noah Johnson

07-19-2006, 09:21 AM

"Two words: full frontal."

Typo Lad

07-19-2006, 10:09 AM

" No. No I do not know if that is a boil or a bug bite. Please put your pants back on."

Merey

07-19-2006, 11:12 AM

"

REVISED:

"I agree, employers who interfere with their employee's vacation plans prventing them from coming to SDCC should be taken out behind the chemical sheds and shot and/or dropped from a 47th Fl. window."

Gilda

Wow, this Gail is my hero. ::sniff::

OzBat!

07-19-2006, 07:14 PM

"... this isn't the BOP panel, is it?"

"SHOW ME THE MONEY!!"

"I lovingly fold in a tiny piece of kitten poop in every script I send in to my editors!"

PatrickG

07-19-2006, 09:26 PM

Millar's gonna upstage her. He has a message board poster with a cellphone sitting in on the Marvel panel on his behalf.

YoGo

07-20-2006, 02:45 AM

"bang!"

__________

Cam63

07-20-2006, 03:03 AM

Is she pointing her finger at you ?

PatrickG

07-20-2006, 03:05 AM

Do not ask for whom the Gail trolls.

She trolls for thee.

Cam63

07-20-2006, 03:07 AM

I like her better when she write fun stuff...

Shades0077

07-20-2006, 10:56 PM

"I don't know, but you should definitely read Hutch University!"

Followed by....

"I've got word from the creator himself that it will be updated some time within the next year!"

sk716

07-20-2006, 11:00 PM

"I don't know, but you should definitely read Hutch University!"

Followed by....

"I've got word from the creator himself that it will be updated some time within the next year!"

Well, look who finally turned up. We thought Sabrinaset had retcon punched you out of exisitence.

Shades0077

07-20-2006, 11:01 PM

Well, look who finally turned up. We thought Sabrinaset had retcon punched you out of exisitence.
I am immune to retcon punches thanks to my Belt of Retcon Punch Immunity (tm).

Moving and being on vacation and having an extremely unreliable internet connection until it hopefully gets fixed tomorrow leads to not much CBR for Sean.

sk716

07-20-2006, 11:03 PM

I am immune to retcon punches thanks to my Belt of Retcon Punch Immunity (tm).

Moving and being on vacation and having an extremely unreliable internet connection until it hopefully gets fixed tomorrow leads to not much CBR for Sean.

It's good to have you back. I hope you've been stockpiling Hutch strips for our amusement.

Larry Dixon

07-21-2006, 02:33 AM

"In BOP #105, the Queen of Fables turns all the Birds into actual birds of prey, under the control of an evil falconer."

Larry Dixon

07-21-2006, 02:38 AM

(on a panel with Marv Wolfman and/or Len Wein):

"Yeast Infection."

At the DC premieres/news panel:

"There will be a new BOP animated series aimed at the 5 to 8 year old demographic. Huntress, Zinda and the girls will all be made into cute anthropomorphic cockatoos, and the series will be titled BIRDS OF PLAY."

"I'm gonna get get get you drunk, get you drunk on my love humps. My humps. My humps my humps my humps. My lovely lady lumps."

"Scott? Oh hell yeah. Like a horse. The man's a frickin' tripod."

WhiteRose

07-21-2006, 03:13 AM

At the DC premieres/news panel:

"There will be a new BOP animated series aimed at the 5 to 8 year old demographic. Huntress, Zinda and the girls will all be made into cute anthropomorphic cockatoos, and the series will be titled BIRDS OF PLAY."

The funny thing is, I would totally watch that show.

Cam63

07-21-2006, 03:40 AM

(on a panel with Marv Wolfman and/or Len Wein):

"Yeast Infection."

So that's why she hasn't been able to make any bread and that's a shame. She should throw that batch out and buy some more.

"I'm gonna get get get you drunk, get you drunk on my love humps. My humps. My humps my humps my humps. My lovely lady lumps."

Well, that's a given. Check it out !

"Scott? Oh hell yeah. Like a horse. The man's a frickin' tripod."

I did hear his nickname at school was " Great Scott. " I thought it was because he was, you know, a great kinda guy.

Larry Dixon

07-21-2006, 04:53 AM

Hey you know, I'm just sayin', I was in the hot tub with Gail and Scott and there wasn't room for the four of us. Up Periscope! Wooo hah! Yeeeaaaaahhh baby!

There's a terrible, terrible story from Convergence in Minnesota, with Misty & me, that goes with the phrase "Yeast Infection," that scarred Len and Marv for life.

And yeah, WhiteRose, I wrote that while my goffins cockatoos were raising hell playing :)

Cam63

07-21-2006, 05:15 AM

Scott may get a swelled head from this.

Larry Dixon

07-21-2006, 05:20 AM

He's man enough to catch and conquer a mighty lebian.

And, you know, I'm just sayin'. Scott is Category Four where it counts. You know:

Small
Medium
Large
and
Oh My God It's Coming Towards Me.

WhiteRose

07-21-2006, 05:39 AM

ZOMG! Gail, you better watch out! AND KEEP YOUR BACK TO THE WALL AT ALL TIMES.

Ferrik

07-21-2006, 12:42 PM

Everything said about Chuck Norris and me is true.

Larry Dixon

07-21-2006, 02:12 PM

"And if that whiny little pussy Chuck Norris wants to say otherwise, he'll have to deal with me, and Scott. Scott will bitch-slap him around like he does Bendis. Cry, bald boy, cry!"

"Fanboy! Kiss my pump-shod foot!" (actually, my wife DOES say this at panels sometimes) :)

"Thighmasters? I've broken, what now, seventeen of them? I can crack coconuts with these legs."

"I use Hunter S. Thompson's writing techniques. Especially the mescaline and tequila. Mostly the peyote though, and a little coke, just to punch up the dialogue before turning the script in. I do lines off of Didio's bald head while he makes JLA shadow-puppets from the light of burning Marvel books. Oh the fun we have!"

"We must go faster."

"Yes, I DO have Kung-Fu Grip!"

"Ferraris are so choice. If you have the means, I definitely recommend picking one up."

"Oracle's dirty secret? She does her own FACES OF DEATH videos off of her world surveillance, video of superheroes killing people. I think that since Crisis on Infinite Earths, it's up to around eighty volumes. And counting!"

"I always wear fishnets when writing either Canary or Zatanna."

Cam63

07-21-2006, 04:17 PM

I think Larry would be Gail's first choice to write her biography.

...and it'll be the first biography with a sealed section.

Sabrinaset

07-21-2006, 07:10 PM

"No, I've never heard of a Punjabi Prison Match."

Steel Spider

07-22-2006, 03:07 AM

"What does that sign say? C-O-M-I-C C-O-N... Oh no, don't tell me I'm at one of these god damn comic con thingies again! Damn you Busiek, you said we were going to Vegas! That's it, in the morning I'm sending a dozen Ninja's after your ass!"

Cam63

07-22-2006, 07:19 PM

" No, I don't drink beer. I just like to show my friends how I can twist the cap off using my right hand and eye socket. "

" Yes, I could use a soda bottle, but it's not quite the same. "

" Yes, I help my family with their martial arts training by springing surprise attacks on them after they walk through the door. "

" Yeah, just like that Kato guy from the Pink Panther movies. "

OzBat!

07-24-2006, 07:36 PM

So gail, how many near death panel situations did these handy hints help you out of, huh? :D

Larry Dixon

07-25-2006, 02:09 PM

I so hope that Gail reads this thread. :)

MacQuarrie

07-25-2006, 02:49 PM

"bang!"

__________
True fact: I asked her "Do you regret shooting YoGo?"

She said "I regret NOTHING."

I also asked her about the front pocket wallet thing, but she's stonewalling. "If you don't know, I can't help you."

Sabrinaset

07-25-2006, 05:08 PM

Gilda Dent

07-25-2006, 05:13 PM

Wasn't the "wallet in the front pocket" thing a way for cops in Gotham a way to identify which one of them WERE cops in case of stings or something? I think Batman stopped Huntress from busting a cop because of the wallet signal or something in an issue of ... I dunno what. I'm blonde, as you know. And kinda sleepy. Zzzzzzz.

And thus, Sabrina cracks the internet wide open. Soon, there will be entire threads debating this theory and an organization dedicated to supporting it will spring up and hang around for the next decade complete with its own cool acronym and web site dedicated to lobbying DC to make it true even if it is in fact apocryphyl.

Gilda

Kahnno6

07-25-2006, 05:15 PM

sk716

07-25-2006, 05:16 PM

So...would solving this make Bree the World's Greatest Detective?! Or at least the Internet's? Or maybe just YABS'?

Don't tell David Bedlam. It'll break his heart.

Dr. Killbydeath

07-25-2006, 06:51 PM

Wasn't the "wallet in the front pocket" thing a way for cops in Gotham a way to identify which one of them WERE cops in case of stings or something? I think Batman stopped Huntress from busting a cop because of the wallet signal or something in an issue of ... I dunno what. I'm blonde, as you know. And kinda sleepy. Zzzzzzz.

I recall that issue of JLA, but it wan't the wallet in the front pocket. It was a checkbook in the back pocket. And so the mystery lives on.

Cam63

07-26-2006, 01:22 AM

I so hope that Gail reads this thread. :)

We could ask her in another thread topic or a PM if you like.

Cam63

07-26-2006, 01:27 AM

True fact: I asked her "Do you regret shooting YoGo?"

She said "I regret NOTHING."

I also asked her about the front pocket wallet thing, but she's stonewalling. "If you don't know, I can't help you."

Did she use a Sicilian accent ?