SUPERECWFAN1
06-19-2006, 09:12 PM
Like some wierd prophet last week , Paul Heyman gave his thoughts on TNA. Some were angry and some agreed. Then this past week , Heyman's words seemed to come true in the funniest fashion.
I have no news since I done did it. I just offer this...if Paul Heyman says your doing something wrong then why not listen ? ;)
The Good: Vince McMahon opens RAW with his words of anger towards DX and them re-uniting as a team. There will be no Reunion by god. In fact Vince is gonna come to ring and detail his plan.
Along the way he runs into a guy carrying a rooster " heard ya like c-ck " , more funny people , a bunch of male dancers as a fat one channels Chris Farley and starts a oiled up half naked jig near Vince as he yells at them. The finale for fun sees Dusty Rhodes show up as Vince is a pissed DX mood as Dusty's not there for that. He's there to sell his DVD !!
Line of the night. " Because were gettin....FUNKY LIKE A MONKEY!! I wonder if that oiled up guy has any money in his thong. Hey you wanna get a DVD ?!! " Poor Vince gets no respect as a guy has his penis pump he ordered. Fans laugh as Vince yells again and gets ready to cut an angry promo.
Then Shane shows up and pulls him from the ring telling him Steph is in labor. He's pissed and claims she's always had bad timing and wants Coachman to get his revenge for him.
Ok...that was a quick women's bra and panties tag match. It appears they could bring in a new blond if that plant in the crowd is a worker. Mickie's ruling this division til Trish returns and steals J.R's cowboy hat.
Charlie Haas showed he has some mic skills if they'd let him talk. I could see Charlie doing a gimmick where he talks about doin the nasty with each diva and Lillian.
The Spirit Squad finally show some heel baddassary as they punk Viscera and Haas and demand DX come out and face them. After getting verbally tore to pieces as thier mocked as cheerleaders , green slime is dumped all over them. Covering them as fans and DX laugh.
Thier going apesh-t backstage on Coach who swears DX will pay. In Vince's locker room however is Paul Heyman with an evil smile on his face as you know, somethings up. He details that he wants Orton and Edge on one side vs Kurt Angle and RVD tomorrow night on ECW.
Coach agrees to it as Heyman stops. He wants something else . Balls Mahoney is pissed about being chaired across the face by Cena and wants a match. Coach agrees to it as well.
As the match starts its clear New York is split on John Cena. Fans boo as he starts and cheer at times. Balls Mahoney comes out to an ECW pop and has a chair with " Cena Must Pay " written on it. To bad Vince has decreed that Cena must be treated like the 2nd coming of Hogan now. So losing isn't an option for him.
After Balls loses , Cena goes to attack Paul as Sabu makes the save. Fans pop for Sabu as he lays Cena out across the table and puts him thru it ! Fans chant for Cena as he goes to stand and the ECW group leave with smiles on thier faces.
Of course in making Cena the 2nd coming of Hogan , he gets to slowly stand bleeding. Looking like he's survived pure hell in all this. Theres times when you can book someone like Hogan or Austin when he's universally loved and theres times you can't. Cena isn't as over and its stupied to continue making him Super-Cena because its only pissing those off worse at Cena.
Carlito has to have a handicap match as he delivers his " Thats cool " line as usual. Johnny Nitro comes out as does Shelton Benjimen as a team. I have to say...Nitro is atheltic as hell. He stays strong as he ends up getting the suprising 1...2...3 over Carlito. All 3 clash at times and ends with Benjimen takin an ass kicking.
So the new DX make Eugene look like a genuis ? I suppose its fun for the kids to watch 2 over 30's guys look like teenagers again. It is funny to watch on a few levels. Of course I loved the anti-Authority DX. Not the wise crackin devil may care DX with 2 over 30's guys.
Speaking of Eugene he snaps and beats up Rob Conway backstage. No one dare mock Hacksaw Duggen in front of Eugene it seems.
The Coach/DX watch party lasts til Coach pisses DX off and they throw him thru a wall and de-pants him. Then paint DX on his thong wearin ass. Ok...I laughed hard at that.
Ok...The Highlanders are f-ckin wild. I loved that promo. " Were here to stay at one of your American Castles , Gary's Motor Lodge..."
I also loved the scenes with the TV. This could be the team the WWE has wanted for kids. Because thier funny.
In ring we see Flair vs Edge as Foley has joined us at commentary. The WWE has decided to work around the fact Foley can't work a straight 2 outta 3 falls by playing up the old Foley/ECW classic where he went out and tried to put on bad matches to piss fans off ! Foley claims he's gonna stink it up on purpose to screw with Ric .
He brings up how Ric disrespected him as a performer and says that Flair will get his worst. That he's gonna embaress Ric Flair in front of his hometown fans.
Foley helps Ric lose as Edge wins with a spear. In the end Rob Van Dam comes outta nowhere and climbs the ropes and nails a one legged kick on Edge. Baseball slide into Mick Foley takes him out and a 5* frog splash as fans erupt with ECW and RVD chants. Rob leaves thru the fans in style.
HHH and Shawn join us for thier long promo. In it Shawn admits that he lied and wonders who could have knocked Princess Stephanie up. HHH then with a funny line " Whoever that lucky s.o.b is , I heard he's hung down to-" as Shawn stops him. I laughed at this.
Shawn ends up suprising HHH with a midget version of the Spirit Squad and beats em downplayfully. All while pluggin the PPV next week. HHH has his own suprise for Shawn and to show that he won't look ( Shawn's a christian..so I can see how he won't ogle them) hot cheerleaders come down and give a DX cheer.
In the end 2 members of SS come down as the rest try and convince others to join them. As the show ends HHH and Shawn have the midgets get in ring and with SUCK IT written on thier asses.
The Bad:
The worse thing in this whole Haas/Viscera situation ? The fact Haas who is a talented guy gets buried by not just Viscera , he also gets punked by the Spirit Squad. Its like he spit in Vince's water or something.
Umaga continues his ...well I can't describe it. Are they trying to make him an unstoppable force or are they scared Jamal will hurt someone as usual ? He destroys a jobber in rare form and Estrada goes to cut a promo. Fans however are starting to grow to accept Estrada and theres the problem. Umaga isn't getting over and Estrada is lol.
Kane goes to cut an interview as Jim Ross questions him about Kane 2k6. You wanna know how you sink an angle...give Kane more backstory now. It appears when Kane's not driving Katie Vick or watching as Taker burns down his house and stays in a mental ward , he's got a sicker friend. Wow....at this point I have to ask. When does Kane's mom show up ?
OVERALL: *** outta 5. Not enough good matches. Nice segments with HHH and Shawn as this show seemed to drift back into the old Attitude era. Fans of that era would be happy...I'm sure.
I have no news since I done did it. I just offer this...if Paul Heyman says your doing something wrong then why not listen ? ;)
The Good: Vince McMahon opens RAW with his words of anger towards DX and them re-uniting as a team. There will be no Reunion by god. In fact Vince is gonna come to ring and detail his plan.
Along the way he runs into a guy carrying a rooster " heard ya like c-ck " , more funny people , a bunch of male dancers as a fat one channels Chris Farley and starts a oiled up half naked jig near Vince as he yells at them. The finale for fun sees Dusty Rhodes show up as Vince is a pissed DX mood as Dusty's not there for that. He's there to sell his DVD !!
Line of the night. " Because were gettin....FUNKY LIKE A MONKEY!! I wonder if that oiled up guy has any money in his thong. Hey you wanna get a DVD ?!! " Poor Vince gets no respect as a guy has his penis pump he ordered. Fans laugh as Vince yells again and gets ready to cut an angry promo.
Then Shane shows up and pulls him from the ring telling him Steph is in labor. He's pissed and claims she's always had bad timing and wants Coachman to get his revenge for him.
Ok...that was a quick women's bra and panties tag match. It appears they could bring in a new blond if that plant in the crowd is a worker. Mickie's ruling this division til Trish returns and steals J.R's cowboy hat.
Charlie Haas showed he has some mic skills if they'd let him talk. I could see Charlie doing a gimmick where he talks about doin the nasty with each diva and Lillian.
The Spirit Squad finally show some heel baddassary as they punk Viscera and Haas and demand DX come out and face them. After getting verbally tore to pieces as thier mocked as cheerleaders , green slime is dumped all over them. Covering them as fans and DX laugh.
Thier going apesh-t backstage on Coach who swears DX will pay. In Vince's locker room however is Paul Heyman with an evil smile on his face as you know, somethings up. He details that he wants Orton and Edge on one side vs Kurt Angle and RVD tomorrow night on ECW.
Coach agrees to it as Heyman stops. He wants something else . Balls Mahoney is pissed about being chaired across the face by Cena and wants a match. Coach agrees to it as well.
As the match starts its clear New York is split on John Cena. Fans boo as he starts and cheer at times. Balls Mahoney comes out to an ECW pop and has a chair with " Cena Must Pay " written on it. To bad Vince has decreed that Cena must be treated like the 2nd coming of Hogan now. So losing isn't an option for him.
After Balls loses , Cena goes to attack Paul as Sabu makes the save. Fans pop for Sabu as he lays Cena out across the table and puts him thru it ! Fans chant for Cena as he goes to stand and the ECW group leave with smiles on thier faces.
Of course in making Cena the 2nd coming of Hogan , he gets to slowly stand bleeding. Looking like he's survived pure hell in all this. Theres times when you can book someone like Hogan or Austin when he's universally loved and theres times you can't. Cena isn't as over and its stupied to continue making him Super-Cena because its only pissing those off worse at Cena.
Carlito has to have a handicap match as he delivers his " Thats cool " line as usual. Johnny Nitro comes out as does Shelton Benjimen as a team. I have to say...Nitro is atheltic as hell. He stays strong as he ends up getting the suprising 1...2...3 over Carlito. All 3 clash at times and ends with Benjimen takin an ass kicking.
So the new DX make Eugene look like a genuis ? I suppose its fun for the kids to watch 2 over 30's guys look like teenagers again. It is funny to watch on a few levels. Of course I loved the anti-Authority DX. Not the wise crackin devil may care DX with 2 over 30's guys.
Speaking of Eugene he snaps and beats up Rob Conway backstage. No one dare mock Hacksaw Duggen in front of Eugene it seems.
The Coach/DX watch party lasts til Coach pisses DX off and they throw him thru a wall and de-pants him. Then paint DX on his thong wearin ass. Ok...I laughed hard at that.
Ok...The Highlanders are f-ckin wild. I loved that promo. " Were here to stay at one of your American Castles , Gary's Motor Lodge..."
I also loved the scenes with the TV. This could be the team the WWE has wanted for kids. Because thier funny.
In ring we see Flair vs Edge as Foley has joined us at commentary. The WWE has decided to work around the fact Foley can't work a straight 2 outta 3 falls by playing up the old Foley/ECW classic where he went out and tried to put on bad matches to piss fans off ! Foley claims he's gonna stink it up on purpose to screw with Ric .
He brings up how Ric disrespected him as a performer and says that Flair will get his worst. That he's gonna embaress Ric Flair in front of his hometown fans.
Foley helps Ric lose as Edge wins with a spear. In the end Rob Van Dam comes outta nowhere and climbs the ropes and nails a one legged kick on Edge. Baseball slide into Mick Foley takes him out and a 5* frog splash as fans erupt with ECW and RVD chants. Rob leaves thru the fans in style.
HHH and Shawn join us for thier long promo. In it Shawn admits that he lied and wonders who could have knocked Princess Stephanie up. HHH then with a funny line " Whoever that lucky s.o.b is , I heard he's hung down to-" as Shawn stops him. I laughed at this.
Shawn ends up suprising HHH with a midget version of the Spirit Squad and beats em downplayfully. All while pluggin the PPV next week. HHH has his own suprise for Shawn and to show that he won't look ( Shawn's a christian..so I can see how he won't ogle them) hot cheerleaders come down and give a DX cheer.
In the end 2 members of SS come down as the rest try and convince others to join them. As the show ends HHH and Shawn have the midgets get in ring and with SUCK IT written on thier asses.
The Bad:
The worse thing in this whole Haas/Viscera situation ? The fact Haas who is a talented guy gets buried by not just Viscera , he also gets punked by the Spirit Squad. Its like he spit in Vince's water or something.
Umaga continues his ...well I can't describe it. Are they trying to make him an unstoppable force or are they scared Jamal will hurt someone as usual ? He destroys a jobber in rare form and Estrada goes to cut a promo. Fans however are starting to grow to accept Estrada and theres the problem. Umaga isn't getting over and Estrada is lol.
Kane goes to cut an interview as Jim Ross questions him about Kane 2k6. You wanna know how you sink an angle...give Kane more backstory now. It appears when Kane's not driving Katie Vick or watching as Taker burns down his house and stays in a mental ward , he's got a sicker friend. Wow....at this point I have to ask. When does Kane's mom show up ?
OVERALL: *** outta 5. Not enough good matches. Nice segments with HHH and Shawn as this show seemed to drift back into the old Attitude era. Fans of that era would be happy...I'm sure.