Mallrats superman speech

[sketchxj]

do you think the point that Brodie (from Mallrats) makes about superman is true?

[van-zee]

I was just talking to a friend about this the other day. One, I don't know if a fetus would get enough solar radiation to do anything. Excepting that, it took Superman at least a couple years to get a power level that would allow him to survive that farming accident (I can't remember if it was a bull or a thresher). So, I think it's BS.

[sketchxj]

what about him shooting a lode like a shot gun?

[dupersuper]

That was the same type of argument as Nivens' "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex" essay. Postcrisis, it doesn't really aply to the baby...but sex would still be...dangerous...

[shaunyc56]

what about him shooting a lode like a shot gun?


Have you read The Pro. There's a guy that's a Superman spoof and the single mom hooker heroine of the story "expresses her gratitude in the way she is best versed". He has to move her head before it's too late, and he ends up breaking several walls.

[sketchxj]

no I havn't read it but it answears questions :D

[filthysize]

Psstt... http://www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html

[Zack]

After seeing the movie GO, I came up with a way Superman and Lois could...you know.

One word: Tantra.

Zack Smith

[Lazy_Fiend]

nice essay
:D

[Jack]

The whole Woman of Kleenex thing is inherently flawed (and somewhat hypocritical). It mentions that Clark isn't human, and so Lois has more chance of having a child with an ear of corn (or whatever), then proceeds to apply the rules of human anatomy to him.

But it is very amusing.

[Sean Whitmore]

do you think the point that Brodie (from Mallrats) makes about superman is true?


No.

Funny, yes. But that's it.


SEAN

[The Heppest]

Of course Brodies theory about Superman is true!
He is known as the man made out of steel. Since 1938 he has been helping change the worlds state by fighting crime and saving the victims of evil plot lines as it were. Louis Lane and Clarke Kent couldn't possibly have children because Kryptonite is so powerful it wouldn't matter what they tried it still wouldn't be weak enough to settle somewhere else apart from a super females womb. There is doubt in all super heroes having kids though, I mean what would happen if Peter Parker aka Spiderman had kids?

[4thHorseman]

Wouldn't a simple red sun lamp drain his powers so he would be normal enough to not worry about killing lois?

[MaxofSteel]

I mean what would happen if Peter Parker aka Spiderman had kids?

http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q109/calamax34/AmazingSpider-Girl.jpg


:p

[ZT4]

...Arent Clark and Lois raising little Zod jr?

Isnt Bruce and Talia having "shared custody" of Daimean?:p

[MythicBrawn]

IMO, Kal would have to restrain himself too much for sex to be really enjoyable. On the flipside, a normal man having sex with WW could be dangerous. You just have to suspend disbelief. Grace has been around and her male partners seem to still be intact. Same with She-Hulk.

[Jack Zodiac]

Wouldn't a simple red sun lamp drain his powers so he would be normal enough to not worry about killing lois?

Totally unnecessary. If Superman can sneeze, piss, and take a dump without destroying something, he can pop his superload without putting anyone at risk. And the superbaby thing is also ridiculous. "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex" was good for a laugh, but made as much sense as anything actually in comics. If somebody wanted to do it, Lois and Clark could have a baby in the comic. The reason they don't isn't because he shoots superspunk like a cannon or her fragile human womb couldn't handle a superbaby, it's because the powers that be don't want to give Superman an infant child.

[DeeSnider]

There's no way Wonder Woman could have Superman's child. Her Magic powered immune system would reject that Kryptonian parasite in no time.

[666MasterOfPuppets]

Could anyone post the actual Mallrats speech?

[filthysize]

I always thought it was a stroke of genius for Brad Bird to pair up Mr. Incredible with Elasti-Girl. It's the kind of superhero sex that makes sense, when one does not have an adamantium bed.

[4thHorseman]

Totally unnecessary. If Superman can sneeze, piss, and take a dump without destroying something, he can pop his superload without putting anyone at risk.

I don't know, I guess I see it a bit differently. As far as I recall, there's been no mention of him ever needing to piss or poop in the comics. To me, it's similar to his appetite. He doesn't need to, just does to kind of fit in. Pissing and pooping may not ever happen to him. We don't know, and i don't recall ever reading a story regarding this topic.

Similarly, I don't recall Superman ever sneezing. I may have to go read Critical Condition again, but he may not ever sneeze or found a way to control that after terrible experiences as a child. But since we never see him sick, doubt we'll see him sneeze.

Who knows, maybe his finale is just as normal as every other guys, but there could always be that chance he could put his baby gel right through a wall. Maybe he tried it as a teenager. Imagine teen Clark standing in a field wanking his man of steel and when he finishes he shoots down the watertower. Maybe it just lands on his foot. Nobody knows, but unless he does, I would expect him to take precautions before doing it.

Thus, why I would suggest red sun lamps :D

[Tahko Tetsujin]

Here is the argument:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Q6TzGq1mhY

But that's bullcrap. All they would have to do is find a planet that is habitable that is under a red sun.

[mgs]

Ya know, at first glance, the belief that his load would be too powerful for a human womb to hold does seem reasonable, but after watching enough Mythbuster shows, I think it can be reasonably safe enough, given the power of the load should not have any other inherent powers if it simply acts like the fluid that it is.

[filthysize]

Ya know, at first glance, the belief that his load would be too powerful for a human womb to hold does seem reasonable, but after watching enough Mythbuster shows, I think it can be reasonably safe enough, given the power of the load should not have any other inherent powers if it simply acts like the fluid that it is.

Sure, but the Mallrats' main argument is not that the load would kill her, but that the super baby would eventually kick the womb and burst Lois from inside out.

[666MasterOfPuppets]

I don't know, I guess I see it a bit differently. As far as I recall, there's been no mention of him ever needing to piss or poop in the comics. To me, it's similar to his appetite. He doesn't need to, just does to kind of fit in. Pissing and pooping may not ever happen to him. We don't know, and i don't recall ever reading a story regarding this topic.

Similarly, I don't recall Superman ever sneezing. I may have to go read Critical Condition again, but he may not ever sneeze or found a way to control that after terrible experiences as a child. But since we never see him sick, doubt we'll see him sneeze.

Who knows, maybe his finale is just as normal as every other guys, but there could always be that chance he could put his baby gel right through a wall. Maybe he tried it as a teenager. Imagine teen Clark standing in a field wanking his man of steel and when he finishes he shoots down the watertower. Maybe it just lands on his foot. Nobody knows, but unless he does, I would expect him to take precautions before doing it.

Thus, why I would suggest red sun lamps :D

I read somewhere a while ago that in Man Of Steel, it was stated that supeman assimilated everything he ate...


Here is the argument:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Q6TzGq1mhY

But that's bullcrap. All they would have to do is find a planet that is habitable that is under a red sun.

Thanx for posting it.

[hmnut73]

i loved mallrats but seriously this is such a stupid topic.

Why, Because one character mentioned it in a movie fans have taken it to be a the word of God. Not to mention the character who said it was obessed with Superhero sex, that wasn't suppose to be he was an "expert opinion" that was suppose to show he was a loser, and it was suppose be funny.

Assuming that they wanted to give Clark and Lois a baby. There are a million different ways to negate the stupid Mallrats speech.
A) the baby is half human so he wouldn't be as powerful as a pure kryptonain baby.
B) Superman didn't even get half of his powers until he was in his teen years, it took years of soaking up yellow sun before he could do much of anything.
C) This thing about "if Lois sunbathed blah blah blah...." so she won't sunbath. I don't see why this is such a big issue, most pregnant women don't do it that much (or at all).
D) Most importantly, they would just make a DEM, Lois takes a special pill, or wears a special piece of clothes, or something else that negates any possible powers the baby might have until after it is born.

As for Superman and his Super-load going off like a shot gun, I don't even see how this is a question. Are we under the impression that Superman waited until marriage? He was kind of old when he got married to still be a virgin. I know he isn't a playboy like Wayne but he has had girlfriends. Not to mention he was a teen boy, I think if he shot off like a shot gun the Kent farm would look like a block of swiss cheese. And like it has been said before he sneezes takes a dump and pees with full control why would he have no control with that.

So the fact that Kevin Smith could write such a funny scene yet people take it serious is kind of silly and a little sad. But whatever. My 2 cents.

[mgs]

Sure, but the Mallrats' main argument is not that the load would kill her, but that the super baby would eventually kick the womb and burst Lois from inside out.

oops, sorry about that. thanks for the correction. I got my thinking mixed up with the whole scene from The Pro comic.

In the instance you are describing, I would have to say that it's possible, but hopefully nature would take care of itself, meaning it would not be in a baby's best interest to kill it's mother while helpless in the womb. ;)

[MythicBrawn]

The whole baby kicking out of the womb argument reminds of when Savage Dragon got his girlfriend pregnant. She had to deliver the baby early because the kicking was causing her so much pain. I could be similar to that.