are people pressured to be married?

[blackdragon6]

just wondering cause i don't want to get hitched,both my male AND female friends have no interests in it.and my sisters are well into their late 20 and early 30's and are not married.they want kids though.my brother on the other hand he is married.but what i see is people being pressured into getting married.people always ask "when your gonna get married " "why are you not married yet".people seem to think something's wrong with you if your not married by the time your 30.why does it matter if your married or not??


people who do get married seems for the most part getting married for all the wrong reasons.or doing it because its the thing to do.

[Josh S]

Without saying whether I agree with it or not, I think alot/most people think it's better to get married if you want to have kids because it gives the child some sense of stability.

As for myself, I'm married and most of my friends are married or engaged/plan to get married. But I don't think people should feel pressure to marry.

[Shellhead]

Aside from the tax and legal implications of marriage, the big difference that I see between the married and unmarried couple is simply commitment. Sure, marriage often ends in divorce these days. But the couple that isn't willing to make a commitment to at least get married seems like an unstable situation. Theoretically, either person in an unmarried couple could end the relationship instantly, at any moment of any day. I think it would eventually suck to live with somebody who wasn't sure that they wanted to be with you forever.

[i_mmmchocolate]

I don't feel any pressure to get married at all-- neither do any of my friends. My friend who is getting married, is doing so because she and her fiance are in love with each other (for the longest time).

[Michael P]

I don't feel any pressure to get married at all.
Wait five years.

[Comic_Mobsta]

Interesting question,i personaly belive people think its the thing your suppose to do.But alot of younger modern people are not really interested in marriage and probably never was. Society sort of force it on you even though some people are not fit for marriage.Also some people are just sheep,their just doing it because their friends and family are doing it.And if its not because of that their doing it for the wrong reasons like financial reasons (wich i don't think is a good reason to get married btw).Kinda like business arrangements in a sense.Girls on the other hand seems to be brainwashed into beliving that women are suppose to get married and become housewives.And they get this at a verry young age ,some think about marriage as early as 10 years old.

[PeteGunn]

Single women get a lot of pressure to be married. I tell my single female friends that no one can make you feel rotten for not being married and it is really not anyone's business.

When I've been asked, I just said, "Because I don't have to. I wasn't in class the day compulsory marriage was studied in school". Then there's other things I would say and I don't get bothered again.

[i_mmmchocolate]

Wait five years.

True. Of course, we're assuming I'll be single and miserable.

[SOGG]

Wait five years.

That's the strangest proposal yet.

[The Humanist Hero]

Yes, I do feel pressure to get married from my mother (and I'm sure I would be pressured by the rest of my family if they weren't dead or in another country). But it's not enough to make me get married. It's not like I've ever consistently listened to her advice regarding how I live my life, for good or bad.

That said, although I have abandoned pretty much all vestiges of religious morality and appeals to tradition, I still think that I will get married eventually (and probably sooner than later) because I want children and I don't want to have them outside of marriage. Not that I think it's immoral to do so, it's just not something I personally want to do.

If I had no interest in having children, I don't think I would feel any pressure to get married whatsoever.

[Forefinger]

I got married at 20 and am still really happy 8 years later. I wouldn't go back to being single for anything.

[BlairH]

I'm one of these strange creatures that doesn't want to have sex before marriage, so -as you can no doubt imagine- I'm rather looking forward to getting hitched! (and not just for that reason. Honest!)

[Forefinger]

I'm one of these strange creatures that doesn't want to have sex before marriage, so -as you can no doubt imagine- I'm rather looking forward to getting hitched! (and not just for that reason. Honest!)
So, there is a great pressure you are feeling to get married then?

(Do you have any candidates yet? Have you tried to get in touch with Lucy Pinder?)

[BlairH]

So, there is a great pressure you are feeling to get married then?
None at all.

(Do you have any candidates yet? Have you tried to get in touch with Lucy Pinder?)
I managed to briefly get in touch with Lucy Pinder. Unfortunately she somehow knew that pepper spray was my one and only vulnerability.

[Tish-the-Scorpion]

Single women get a lot of pressure to be married. I tell my single female friends that no one can make you feel rotten for not being married and it is really not anyone's business.yes we do ,in my family theres 8 of us siblings.6 girls 2 boys,the boys being the youngest and me being the oldest at 28.and none of us want to get married.besides i don't think you have to be married to be commited to each other.and i come from a catholic back ground (though admitedly my family wasn't overly religious).my brothers and sisters have their own reasons but i personally have no interests in "setteling down" with one person.we all want kids,neices and nephews though.and i know my parents want grand baby's even though their just in their 40's.but they never put a gun to our heads and beg us to get married.interestingly enough my mom and dad had a open marriage after my baby brother was born.


on another note i want another brother and sister from my mom and pops though.and their actualy seriously considering it when my dad gets released....YAAAAY :D

.And they get this at a verry young age ,some think about marriage as early as 10 years old.this is actually true lol,when i was around this age a lot of girls was SERIOUSLY talking about marriage.while i on the other hand just wanted to be a kid and play video games,and learn martial arts,and play basketball.

[west3man]

I get pressured, sometimes, but from some odd sources. Friends in their late 30's/early 40's tell me to get married more than my relatives (of any age).

My mom would LOVE to have some grandkids, though. She's been wishing twins on me for a long time.

[Solaris]

Stick to your guns and do what's right for you, no matter what kind of pressuring and intrusive questions family/friends throw at you.

You're right: too many get married for the wrong reasons... one being, their family pushed them into accepting "Mr/Ms Right NOW," instead of "Mr/Ms Right."

Nothing wrong with going through life single. Dayum.

[Forefinger]

None at all.

I was talking about some pressure eh?

[Merey]

In general, I think people who live in large cities tend to get married later. Everyone in my circle and interlocking circles of friends are in their late 20's to late 30's and there aren't many of us who are married. However, I'd say half are in a committed/living together situation. I know there's some pressure there to get married, but I don't think it's nearly has much as people who live in the suburbs. The suburbs for us city dwellers is code for: time for that whole married/breeding/settling down thing. ;)

[une]

I was always taught that those who aren't married by 30 are homosexuals in hiding or psychotics.

You get married to prove your sanity and sexuality.

[Tish-the-Scorpion]

I was always taught that those who aren't married by 30 are homosexuals in hiding or psychotics.

You get married to prove your sanity and sexuality.
well i'm bisexual and kinda OCD so maybe theres some truth to that:D

[phoenixrising]

I definitely feel the pressure, especiallly now that my boyfriend's moving in with me - but not, amusingly enough, from my family. My parents married and divorced before they were my age, so neithe rof them ever pressures me about marriage. Honestly, i don't think they ever want me to get married because that officially makes them old.

However, my boyfriend's parents are another story. His older brother (who is my age - 25) has been married two years and their mom is just insane about getting grandkids - it's a little scary. My coworkers also seem to think it is their business as to whether or not I'm married to my longtime boyfriend - as if I have to be married to prove the legitimacy of my relationship to them. I constantly have to think up new ways to say I'm not ready for it, that I don't think it is necessary (at least not now) and that they should really just shove it.

[Shellhead]

well i'm bisexual and kinda OCD so maybe theres some truth to that:D

I'm not familiar with OCD. Is it like OPP?

[Michael P]

I'm not familiar with OCD. Is it like OPP?
No, but I just got a *great* idea for a song parody.

[Endel]

i think, when ppl hit a certain age, they do feel pressure to get married. how much pressure and what specific age...well i'll get back to ya on that one. but i think there is a general idea that when one grows up, one gets married. those that dont (at least in the stereo type) become lonely and miserable as all thier friends find a match and start a family

[Tish-the-Scorpion]

I'm not familiar with OCD. Is it like OPP?Obsessive-compulsive disorder

[Quarterwolf]

I was always taught that those who aren't married by 30 are homosexuals in hiding or psychotics.

You get married to prove your sanity and sexuality.

Yes but it is still illegal for me in 51 states.

And that is not true. In this day and age more and more people are waiting for their 30's to get married. They feel they are in a better place emotionally and financialy to be ready for such a big step as marraige.

[clayholio]

I've felt a little pressure, but what am I going to do, get a mail-order bride? Anyhow, the standard where I'm living now is that everyone gets married by 20 and has a million kids. Being unmarried and freshly 30, it's little wonder that I don't know that many people in this small town.

I think that, in general, it's better to wait to get married. Firstly, getting married just to get married is like throwing away half of your stuff. Secondly, I wouldn't want to enter into something as serious as a marriage without really being ready. And I certainly wasn't ready as a 20 (or 25) year old.

[Valmore]

I think it depends mostly on how much personal pressure one puts on oneself to get married. I wanted to get married, but it had to be to the right person. (Or, as Joe Rice would say, one of the right persons that I happened to meet first.) So when I felt I was with the right person, I put more pressure on myself, and possibly on her. Fortunately, she felt I was the right person back and it worked out.

[Night]

Well if you're getting pressure from Christian sources to marry, I'll give a couple of scriptures for you.

I do, though, tell the unmarried and widows that singleness might well be the best thing for them, as it has been for me. But if they can't manage their desires and emotions, they should by all means go ahead and get married. The difficulties of marriage are preferable by far to a sexually tortured life as a single. (1Co 7:8-9 MSG) An unmarried man concerns himself with the Lord's business--how he shall please the Lord; but a married man concerns himself with the business of the world--how he shall please his wife. There is a difference too between a married and an unmarried woman. She who is unmarried concerns herself with the Lord's business--that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but the married woman concerns herself with the business of the world--how she shall please her husband. (1Co 7:32 – 34 WNT)

[PeteGunn]

I was always taught that those who aren't married by 30 are homosexuals in hiding or psychotics.

You get married to prove your sanity and sexuality.

Sanity and sexuality are being proven to what enlightened people, dare I say?:D

[Erebus]

I honestly can't imagine spending the rest of my life with one person. I just like solitude too much. In fact, the reason girls dump me most of the time is because they think I'm to distant.

[PeteGunn]

I honestly can't imagine spending the rest of my life with one person. I just like solitude too much. In fact, the reason girls dump me most of the time is because they think I'm to distant.

Too distant = too independent.

Can't read your mind and believes that you don't really need 'em to live your life.

You are a dangerous man...;)

[west3man]

I'll also say that there's a certain amount of, maybe indirect, pressure from society based on the fact that so many people and organizations don't respect or recognize committed, but unmarried couples.

[The Humanist Hero]

I honestly can't imagine spending the rest of my life with one person. I just like solitude too much. In fact, the reason girls dump me most of the time is because they think I'm to distant.
I definitely worry about that as well because I can indentify one hundred percent with what you are describing here.

[Flying_Postman]

Well I am single and am light years away from getting married. At 27 I am more focused on building up my career and getting higher level certifications and doing my master's degree. I have to admit there has been some pressure to get married (It seems that everyone in my age group is either married or engaged) but as mentioned earlier I have to be in a better place financially to consider marriage since the prospect of me being married AND broke/ or living "hand to mouth" would be pure hell for me.

[jessecuster]

My mom has the habit of "When are you going to meet someone nice ?"

And now that my younger sister is married, my mom has changed to "I want you to be happy like your sister."