A Cup of Coffee

[Solaris]

Finn and I were at the Diner today for a late lunch. About the time we were finishing up, this guy walks in. He looks rather like Forrest Gump during the "cross-country running" period: curly brown hair to his shoulders, a roughish beard. He's rather grimy (hands and such), and carrying a rough grey blanket, rolled up---nothing else. (Well, he was *dressed*---I mean, he wasn't carrying a backpack or anything.) He was also a bit on the fragrant side, though not too bad. The restaurant was pretty deserted, btw.

So, he ends up sitting at the booth behind us. I hear him ask the waitress if they could spare a cup of coffee. She says "Er, I really don't think we can do that." (It had just started raining, and I figured he'd come in to get out of the rain.)

Now, I'm NOT one for giving money to street beggers. All too often they're not real, and are scamming someone. BUT, if someone is desperate I don't mind buying them a meal, if I've got the money. So I look at the waitress and say, "That's okay, I'll get his coffee." I'd been studying the guy pretty closely since he walked in, because he *did* have the "homeless" look, and I wanted to make sure he didn't have a weapon inside that blanket. There was something... nice... about his face, even though he never smiled or really changed expression at all.

So, the guy quietly tells me "thank you for the coffee." I looked at him and said, "Look, everybody hits rough spots sometimes; if you want, I can get you a BLT and some fries, too." He says, "No thank you, I just ate a little while ago." "Are you sure?" I persisted. "Yes, thank you," he said.

So, when he got his coffee he quitely again said "Thanks for the coffee" to me. When we left, I told him "Have a good afternoon!"

I can't shake the feeling that maybe he *hadn't* eaten, but was too proud to accept more than a cup of coffee... but I offered, and if he chose to refuse, that's his choice. I'd thought maybe he'd get it to go, so he could eat it later.

Anyway, while I wish he'd let me buy him lunch (I was impressed by his quiet toughness and his manners,) at least he let me get him some coffee... and that let him get out of the rain for a while. I called down there about 45 minutes later to see if he was still there---I was gonna offer to have them fix him a to go plate, and pay for it tonight when we go there for dinner---but he'd already left. I don't know what had gone so wrong in his life... but I hope it gets better.

Anyhow, that was my random act of kindness for the day. :) Kinda gives me a good feeling---maybe it cheered him up a little.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

That was a sweet thing to do. And shame on that waitress who wouldn't even spare the guy a cup of coffee. At least you had some human decency and that is sweet.

This reminds me of a story I heard a long time ago about John Lennon. Its been so long I forgot where I heard this but I believe a Radio DJ was discussing it.

Lennon had let his hair and beard grow out as usual and decided he wanted to learn how to drive in America. He was gonna buy himself a car and came into a dealership dressed as this long haired , hippy.

He looks around in time as some of the dealers are whispering about this hippy in thier shop. That he has no money and could possibly pay for anything let alone a vehicle. Lennon seeing that these guys wouldn't talk to him and judged him by his appearance , walked out .

The owner came out and was happy. He had heard from Lennon's manager or friend that he was coming in to straight out buy a new car. He walks over and tells the dealers... " John Lennon is coming into the shop. You can't miss him , he has really long hair and beard. He isn't a bum so make sure he sees me. "

[west3man]

I understand why they might not "spare" the cup of coffee. Sadly, it's kinda like the "Please don't feed the bears" thing. It's not that they don't want the bears to enjoy food. It reinforces a habit.

I'm happy that Solaris was willing and able to help a stranger AND that she got feedback that strongly suggested that 1) he was appreciative and 2) he WASN'T scamming. If he were scamming, he'd have been in it to win it.

I think it's also nice that Finn saw that. Kindness and courtesy applied from the proper distance and in an appropriate manner is a fine example to set.

I'd also take a moment or two to reinforce what Mommy did, why she did it, and why she did it THE WAY she did it.

[Solaris]

I understand why they might not "spare" the cup of coffee. Sadly, it's kinda like the "Please don't feed the bears" thing. It's not that they don't want the bears to enjoy food. It reinforces a habit.

I'm happy that Solaris was willing and able to help a stranger AND that she got feedback that strongly suggested that 1) he was appreciative and 2) he WASN'T scamming. If he were scamming, he'd have been in it to win it.

I think it's also nice that Finn saw that. Kindness and courtesy applied from the proper distance and in an appropriate manner is a fine example to set.

I'd also take a moment or two to reinforce what Mommy did, why she did it, and why she did it THE WAY she did it.

Well, that's why I don't do the "give 'em money" thing. Food? Sure---but I have to pay for the food, so I know the money GOES to food.

Reminds me of something Troy told me one time. We'd gone to Schlotsky's (deli sandwich shop), and Troy and the manager were talking about this guy walking across the parking lot. It seems the guy had come into the store a few days before, begging for food. The manager said "I can't just give you food, but if you'll pick up the cigarette butts in the parking lot out front, I can give you some food." Principle: do a little work, get some food. The guy says "I'm not doing THAT, and you've got some gall for asking!" and storms out.

Another guy had come in asking for food, a couple days later, and the manager said the same thing to him. The second guy asked for a bag, got it, went out and picked up every butt in the lot---and the manager gave him a sandwich and a drink.

You never know which kind of person it'll be... but you can tell the good ones, by their reactions. :)

[Dreadstar]

Solaris. Always the coolest chick in the diner.

[Deathstroke]

Finn and I were at the Diner today for a late lunch. About the time we were finishing up, this guy walks in. He looks rather like Forrest Gump during the "cross-country running" period: curly brown hair to his shoulders, a roughish beard. He's rather grimy (hands and such), and carrying a rough grey blanket, rolled up---nothing else. (Well, he was *dressed*---I mean, he wasn't carrying a backpack or anything.) He was also a bit on the fragrant side, though not too bad. The restaurant was pretty deserted, btw.

So, he ends up sitting at the booth behind us. I hear him ask the waitress if they could spare a cup of coffee. She says "Er, I really don't think we can do that." (It had just started raining, and I figured he'd come in to get out of the rain.)

Now, I'm NOT one for giving money to street beggers. All too often they're not real, and are scamming someone. BUT, if someone is desperate I don't mind buying them a meal, if I've got the money. So I look at the waitress and say, "That's okay, I'll get his coffee." I'd been studying the guy pretty closely since he walked in, because he *did* have the "homeless" look, and I wanted to make sure he didn't have a weapon inside that blanket. There was something... nice... about his face, even though he never smiled or really changed expression at all.

So, the guy quietly tells me "thank you for the coffee." I looked at him and said, "Look, everybody hits rough spots sometimes; if you want, I can get you a BLT and some fries, too." He says, "No thank you, I just ate a little while ago." "Are you sure?" I persisted. "Yes, thank you," he said.

So, when he got his coffee he quitely again said "Thanks for the coffee" to me. When we left, I told him "Have a good afternoon!"

I can't shake the feeling that maybe he *hadn't* eaten, but was too proud to accept more than a cup of coffee... but I offered, and if he chose to refuse, that's his choice. I'd thought maybe he'd get it to go, so he could eat it later.

Anyway, while I wish he'd let me buy him lunch (I was impressed by his quiet toughness and his manners,) at least he let me get him some coffee... and that let him get out of the rain for a while. I called down there about 45 minutes later to see if he was still there---I was gonna offer to have them fix him a to go plate, and pay for it tonight when we go there for dinner---but he'd already left. I don't know what had gone so wrong in his life... but I hope it gets better.

Anyhow, that was my random act of kindness for the day. :) Kinda gives me a good feeling---maybe it cheered him up a little.


Early frontrunner for May's COTM?

[Dan Apodaca]

Early frontrunner for May's COTM?

By telling us about the good thing she did today? Tell me you're not all that easy.

[Deathstroke]

By telling us about the good thing she did today? Tell me you're not all that easy.


I was asking not voting.

This is generally considered one of those good things that lead to landslide victories in the COTM voting. Just simply doing a good deed. Nothing wrong with that is there?

[OzBat!]

If we did that, Solaris would be CoTM all the time :D Hang around and look for the unusual!

[Fabian]

That was a sweet thing to do. And shame on that waitress who wouldn't even spare the guy a cup of coffee. At least you had some human decency and that is sweet.[/I]
Don't blame the waitress. We have a similar story happen at our work where one of waiters gave a homeless person a cup of water to go and the manager wrote him up for giving away free stuff

[(A)//(E)]

Don't blame the waitress. We have a similar story happen at our work where one of waiters gave a homeless person a cup of water to go and the manager wrote him up for giving away free stuff

This reinforces my theory that during business school and managerial training, a portion of your brain is removed either physically, chemically, or via subliminal brainwashing making the manager-to-be nearly completely devoid of basic human compassion during business hours (and in extreme cases, all the time.)
I call it "Manager Syndrome". Another symptom of "Manager Syndrome" is a corruption or destruction of plain common sense. :p

[Mike Smith]

This is a good story, Solaris. I agree the man may have been a little uncomfortable accepting too much, but your kindness I'm sure warmed his heart.

In Santa Monica there is this area called 3rd St where many homeless people used to gather in pretty heavy numbers. I had a similar situation in buying coffee for a man who couldn't get any (so I really don't think your waitress was trying to be mean...likely just policy). I also remember a man turning down some food I had left over from Jonny Rockets because he said greasy stuff was no good. He told me to come again with something healthier.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Don't blame the waitress. We have a similar story happen at our work where one of waiters gave a homeless person a cup of water to go and the manager wrote him up for giving away free stuff


Then your Manager and hopefully if you wish to tell him , is a complete and utter asshole. " Don't give that piece of garbage free water! He may want more! "

I worked in a restraunt and we'd see a few homelesscome by. The Manager here would tell the guy to come around to the back and have the servers load his plate as much as he wanted. ( It was a steak house and mostly bars of food setup..)

He'd do this all the time and give people food a lot.

[Typo Lad]

Solaris,

I know that feeling you have right now. It rocks. You know what's better though?

Passing that person a year later, having them remember you, and them stopping you to tell you about how well they're doing.

This all happened five years ago and it still makes my day.

[Roquefort Raider]

Good job, boss!

That was both a small gesture and great deed. It's good to know that there are people like you out there.

[Alex L]

Then your Manager and hopefully if you wish to tell him , is a complete and utter asshole. " Don't give that piece of garbage free water! He may want more! "

I work at a Starbucks, and yes, they do want more. Some of them honestly feel that they are entitled to their cup of free water and to tie up our bathroom for fifteen minutes at a time so that they can wash themselves and use up all of our paper towels.

There is this one guy who comes in and gets a cup of hot water, and then goes to the cream/sugar area and puts in milk and chocolate powder to make himself a cup of hot chocolate (for free).

I might not mind if he does this, oh, once a week or so, but six times a day!?!

[SUPERECWFAN1]

I work at a Starbucks, and yes, they do want more. Some of them honestly feel that they are entitled to their cup of free water and to tie up our bathroom for fifteen minutes at a time so that they can wash themselves and use up all of our paper towels.

My stance is always....is it my store and am I paying for any of this crap ? I'd pretty much use that stance. They used to get coffee from us in the back all the time while they ate. I never cared....wasn't my store and neithor did anyone else.


There is this one guy who comes in and gets a cup of hot water, and then goes to the cream/sugar area and puts in milk and chocolate powder to make himself a cup of hot chocolate (for free).
I might not mind if he does this, oh, once a week or so, but six times a day!?!

Then you should or ask the Manager to tell him that a few times a week is ok. But doing it 6 times a day is pushing it. I believe in charity and helping my fellow man. But as you have posted..thats pushing it.

I still would feel like a scum bag if I refused to get someone less fortunate a cup of coffee or a cup of water.

[darkkeeperjr]

That was a sweet thing to do. And shame on that waitress who wouldn't even spare the guy a cup of coffee. At least you had some human decency and that is sweet.

This reminds me of a story I heard a long time ago about John Lennon. Its been so long I forgot where I heard this but I believe a Radio DJ was discussing it.

Lennon had let his hair and beard grow out as usual and decided he wanted to learn how to drive in America. He was gonna buy himself a car and came into a dealership dressed as this long haired , hippy.

He looks around in time as some of the dealers are whispering about this hippy in thier shop. That he has no money and could possibly pay for anything let alone a vehicle. Lennon seeing that these guys wouldn't talk to him and judged him by his appearance , walked out .

The owner came out and was happy. He had heard from Lennon's manager or friend that he was coming in to straight out buy a new car. He walks over and tells the dealers... " John Lennon is coming into the shop. You can't miss him , he has really long hair and beard. He isn't a bum so make sure he sees me. "


This sounds so much like an "urban legend",But stranger things have happen.

[darkkeeperjr]

It's so easy for a homeless one to get something to eat for free,cause almost all big cities have a food place. A place where the homeless can come and eat for free at a certain time.

getting a cup of coffee free without asking a stranger is a little bit harder. Unless the red cross truck is around then you can get coffee and hot soup.

[Gilda Dent]

There was a homeless couple that hung out near the fast food places near my old school in California. Sometimes when stopping in at McDonald's, if they were outside, I'd get a second order, a couple of Mcchickens and fries for them. It was a small thing for me, but may have been a big thing for them.

I was asked by one of the managers not to do that because it encourages them, but after talking with Emily decided that I'd continue to do so when the opportunity presented itself.

Well done Chris. I suspect the kindness to him as a human being may have meant as much as the coffee.

Gilda

[Dan Apodaca]

I was asking not voting.

This is generally considered one of those good things that lead to landslide victories in the COTM voting. Just simply doing a good deed. Nothing wrong with that is there?
I told a very funny joke today. Everyone laughed a lot. Can I count on your vote?

[SUPERECWFAN1]

This sounds so much like an "urban legend",But stranger things have happen.


It could be an Urban Legend. It sounds wierd considering we never saw Lennon drive at all. It could go eithor way I suppose.

[Justin Davis]

I told a very funny joke today. Everyone laughed a lot. Can I count on your vote?

I totally get what you're saying, but your new name is Cynical McCynicism.

[Justin Davis]

That was a cool thing to do, Solaris. I don't quite have a similar story, but I did give the two bucks in my wallet to a guy at the intersection the other day. He followed my rules of how to be a homeless person asking for a handout.

No headphones.

No sunglasses.

No Doc Martens or other expensive shoes.

Those are just a few of these rules. No one's saying they can't have these things. That'd be stupid. I'm saying, I feel less prone to offer someone any cash or a meal if the headphones from a CD player dangles off of his or her neck.

[Solaris]

Hmmm. Well, the waitress is a nice person, and fairly new. I think she honestly didn't know what to do, and figured to err on the side of caution. I think in the back of her mind were two things:

1. This is a small, local-owned place, that doesn't make much money at all. The *owner* can give away free food if he wants, but a staff member might get in trouble for it, trying to second-guess him. (Not that he'd be stingy or anything---but he's a little unpredictable, in some ways, and I myself wouldn't want to second guess him on policy. Better to ask---and he wasn't there at the time.)

2. She was probably also concerned that, if the place gets a name for "giving out stuff," over time many homeless people may drift in the front door... and let's face it: the place isn't a soup kitchen. Having enough folks coming in with BO, etc., may scare away customers, especially regulars. And a *lot* of their business is regulars.

If it had been me in her shoes, I probably would have hesitated as all that ran through my mind, and then said "I can't give you a free cup of coffee... but I can buy you one." :)

As someone mentioned, sometimes it works out fine when a place gives out free food or drinks to the homeless---i.e. the guys coming to the back door. And other times, it doesn't---i.e. the guy using Starbucks as his bathing room and hot chocolate service. Businesses get their money from customers, and a lot of customers are uncomforable around people who are dirty, with BO, unkempt, etc., who are also obviously not there as paying customers. (Not to say the Diner doesn't get some pretty dirty workmen in there, sometimes---and other businesses do too---but they're *paying* customers.) Anyway, while it's nice to "do a good deed" and help someone out who's in a tough spot... a business isn't a charity---so there's a fine line between "helping people" and "keeping your customer base." Walking that line can be hard, and often depends on the personal quality of the person/people you're trying to help, IMO.

(Some restaurants, btw, will donate their leftover foods at end of day to their local soup kitchen, etc. Which is one way they manage to help without having lines of homeless people at their back door... or queing up in the restaurant itself.)

[Solaris]

Early frontrunner for May's COTM?


Nah. People around here do acts of kindness all the time. But thanks for the thought! :)

[Solaris]

Solaris,

I know that feeling you have right now. It rocks. You know what's better though?

Passing that person a year later, having them remember you, and them stopping you to tell you about how well they're doing.

This all happened five years ago and it still makes my day.


THAT is so cool. :) Sometimes small acts on the part of one person can have great signficance to someone else... especially if they're really down and out. I've had various people help me, or just do something kind that cheered me up on a very bad day... so passing it on is fun! :D I don't *expect* the guy to remember me, if I ever run into him again... I just hope it lightened his day and his load a little. His face was set into an almost "non" expression---not like stone, more like frozen, trying to deal with stuff, survive, and not despair. But his eyes were very intense, almost like someone alertly watching for somebody else to jump out and mug them. Not so much fearful, as watchful... like, "I am aware of everything in my environment, and if you decide to try to jump me, I'm ready to defend myself." Given that some homeless get attacked by others, or by *each* other... I can't blame him for setting his face in perpetual watchfulness; it's a habit he'd need to have.

I've always said I read more from someone's eyes than anything else... and looking back on it, it amazes me how much... I don't know... emotion, I guess, and personality, I read in his. It's rare that I see someone with such an espressionless face who's eyes shout so much about themselves and their situation. I don't know what the circumstances of his situation are... but his eyes said a lot about the general tone, and his general manner. I wasn't certain, initially, which way his eyes would go (there were several potential interpretations, not all of them good), but his quiet polite tone put him over into a "good" category.

[Fabian]

I'll be sure to tell my manager that someone on the internet told me to tell him he's an asshole. SuperE just wants to blame someone I guess

I told a very funny joke today. Everyone laughed a lot. Can I count on your vote?
You have mine good sir.

[Solaris]

That was a cool thing to do, Solaris. I don't quite have a similar story, but I did give the two bucks in my wallet to a guy at the intersection the other day. He followed my rules of how to be a homeless person asking for a handout.

No headphones.

No sunglasses.

No Doc Martens or other expensive shoes.

Those are just a few of these rules. No one's saying they can't have these things. That'd be stupid. I'm saying, I feel less prone to offer someone any cash or a meal if the headphones from a CD player dangles off of his or her neck.


That's cool that you were willing to give, Justin, but I'm a bit leary about the guys at intersections. There's several major intersections (nearly always freeway offramps) that get staked out by the "supposed" homeless. Some have been found to be pulling down more than 50K per year. A flip of that scam is in Florida: people with orange vest standing in intersections, soliciting purchase of some newspaper that supposedly is all about the homeless, and puts the homeless to work. The paper pulls down a bundle.

Regardless of homelessness, I refuse to give money to *anyone* collecting at traffic intersections, whether they're homeless, Shriners, cheerleaders, or firemen. Know why? Because 1. they cause a traffic hazard, moving in and out of traffic; and 2. many of them get injured or killed.

As for homeless in general, I'd rather go buy food and give it to them, or go home and get a coat, or buy them a rainslicker, etc., and give it to them, than give them money. Some are scammers. Some are alcoholics, etc., who will spend the money on their habit, rather than on food, etc.

There aren't enough places helping homeless people. There are folks who, for whatever reason, fall through the cracks. Single males usually have it the toughest---shelters tend to fill up with families, children, and women. True, soup kitchens feed everyone... but not every place has them, or other charities that offer food. I know there's at least *one* soupkitchen in downtown Atlanta... which is probably 30+ miles from my area. Walking 60 miles a day roundtrip is too much for anyone to do every day... and there are a lot of homeless who've already staked out what places there are to "camp out" down there. So, if you *do* walk down there to get food, you may be stuck with either a very unsafe place to sleep (vulnerable to thugs, etc.), no shelter from weather, and/or getting rousted by cops, depending on where you're at. You may even get rousted by the local homeless there.

It may even be harder in rural areas... which is why you tend to see homeless congregating in urban areas, where the help is.

Sorry I diverged so much there. Again, I'm glad you were looking for some of the signs of a "scammer"... just remember, some of them are smart enough to *not* wear their "good" stuff while begging. (IIRC, there was one guy who basically ran a "beggers' school": he taught them (middle class people not homeless) the "right" way to beg for money, and would get a cut. He made tons of money, until the cops caught onto him.) The worst part about all that is that it makes people who might give, leary of giving. It's made me rather particular about how *I* give, and what I do.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

I'll be sure to tell my manager that someone on the internet told me to tell him he's an asshole. SuperE just wants to blame someone I guess



If your boss or someone refuses to hand someone less fortunate than you a cup of water then...yeah he is. The guy maybe the best dude in the world and all to his employees but to me you earn respect by treating even those who aren't doing so good...right.

Do people take advantage ? Ohh yeah I'm sure every pandler or old man on the curb isn't legit needing money or all. But if I got a dollar or 2 and I see them...I think of where I am and where they could possibly be.

Yes some do go overboard and see this kindness as a reason to want more...and more....and more. But as long as someone comes to me and asks me if he could have some change for food ( McDonalds a few months ago...and he really didn't want to but he had a small kid with him) or needs water , I'll give it to em.

[Bard]

I applaud Solaris' kindness and generosity, but at the same time I advise caution on indiscriminate random acts of kindness.

My husband had problems with a few homeless people at his copy place . . . basically walking up to the customers begging things. One gave me this "give or I'll beat you up" look (long while back, hasn't happened again since).

Sol, one time a guy in metro Atlanta (2 blocks down from where DragonCon usually takes place) walked up to my mum and I asking money for food for his family of 4. While we refused to give him cash, we did walk him down to the nearby KFC and ordered him a box of 8 piece chicken . . . he was kind of indignant that we didn't buy him some biscuits and mashed potatoes and gravy too.

I've friend who works for the local Second Harvest food bank, and he and a few others I trust have told me about people we knew who were definitely not poor (one of the most egregious violators is an associate professor at a local prestigious university) get out of very nice cars and get food staples for themselves at these drives. For this reason alone, I refuse to give to food banks (or even this weekend's postal food drive) . . . simply because I don't care to give handouts to people who take advantage of the kindness of others, especially when people like my husband and I (who budget heavily to make ends meet) are feeding people who are better of than we are.

[Solaris]

I applaud Solaris' kindness and generosity, but at the same time I advise caution on indiscriminate random acts of kindness.

My husband had problems with a few homeless people at his copy place . . . basically walking up to the customers begging things. One gave me this "give or I'll beat you up" look (long while back, hasn't happened again since).

Sol, one time a guy in metro Atlanta (2 blocks down from where DragonCon usually takes place) walked up to my mum and I asking money for food for his family of 4. While we refused to give him cash, we did walk him down to the nearby KFC and ordered him a box of 8 piece chicken . . . he was kind of indignant that we didn't buy him some biscuits and mashed potatoes and gravy too.

Yes. Not everyone in need is "sensitive" or what we might think of as "properly grateful" for help given them. On the other hand, there's folks who'll throw dogshit-covered shoes into a Goodwill collection box... so I guess it's all relative. If you're sincerely giving something decent to someone in need... what matters most is your own willingness to do so, even if the person turns out to be a bit of a jerk about it. :)



I've friend who works for the local Second Harvest food bank, and he and a few others I trust have told me about people we knew who were definitely not poor (one of the most egregious violators is an associate professor at a local prestigious university) get out of very nice cars and get food staples for themselves at these drives. For this reason alone, I refuse to give to food banks (or even this weekend's postal food drive) . . . simply because I don't care to give handouts to people who take advantage of the kindness of others, especially when people like my husband and I (who budget heavily to make ends meet) are feeding people who are better of than we are.


Sadly, there are scammers everywhere, dammit. I hate those folks---they're taking away resources from the people who really NEED them. And yes, I agree with you on the "being cautious in how you give" thing, but I also agree that giving is important, however much or little one can do at the time. Sometimes it's something as simple as helping someone change a flat, holding a door for someone with an armful, or cleaning up an elderly person's yard. Sometimes it's goods or money. Point is, doing your little bit to help things along helps everyone, and yourself as well. :)

[Fabian]

If your boss or someone refuses to hand someone less fortunate than you a cup of water then...yeah he is. The guy maybe the best dude in the world and all to his employees but to me you earn respect by treating even those who aren't doing so good...right.
That's not what you said earlier. You said you hopedI would tell him he's an asshole. There's a difference between saying what you think of the person and hoping I would put my job in jeopardy.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

That's not what you said earlier. You said you hopedI would tell him he's an asshole. There's a difference between saying what you think of the person and hoping I would put my job in jeopardy.


It did irk me to hear someone wouldn't give a person water if he needed it. I guess It did piss me off a lot. Me saying that " I Hope " you tell him was just drama on my part. Its not like you could honestly tell your boss: " See this poster who lives all the way across the country called you an asshole."

[Sir Tim Drake]

I've friend who works for the local Second Harvest food bank, and he and a few others I trust have told me about people we knew who were definitely not poor (one of the most egregious violators is an associate professor at a local prestigious university) get out of very nice cars and get food staples for themselves at these drives.

It's possible that that professor actually does need food stamps, especially if s/he isn't tenured yet and has children to support.

[Valmore]

It's possible that that professor actually does need food stamps, especially if s/he isn't tenured yet and has children to support.

Then what are they doing driving new BMW's to go get free second-hand food? Seriously, that's what it is. If you're driving a brand new BMW to pick up second-hand food, something is wrong - you're either not poor, or you're spending the little money you have on the wrong things.

[Spike-X]

Well, that's why I don't do the "give 'em money" thing. Food? Sure---but I have to pay for the food, so I know the money GOES to food.

Reminds me of something Troy told me one time. We'd gone to Schlotsky's (deli sandwich shop), and Troy and the manager were talking about this guy walking across the parking lot. It seems the guy had come into the store a few days before, begging for food. The manager said "I can't just give you food, but if you'll pick up the cigarette butts in the parking lot out front, I can give you some food." Principle: do a little work, get some food. The guy says "I'm not doing THAT, and you've got some gall for asking!" and storms out.

Another guy had come in asking for food, a couple days later, and the manager said the same thing to him. The second guy asked for a bag, got it, went out and picked up every butt in the lot---and the manager gave him a sandwich and a drink.

You never know which kind of person it'll be... but you can tell the good ones, by their reactions. :)
The first guy should have been carrying a sign: "Won't work for food".

[Dan Apodaca]

I totally get what you're saying, but your new name is Cynical McCynicism.

Just to clarify, I'm not accusing Solaris of bragging about what she did in order to gain favor. I think we all know that she's done plenty in the past to earn the respect and affection of the community.

But should we be congratulating people for the virtues that they tell us about or the ones they demonstrate?

[Night]

By telling us about the good thing she did today? Tell me you're not all that easy.What I found cool about it was that she told the whole story without editing out the parts that didn't show her in as good of light.

Often people need just a little break in their life. That might have been more important than what he ate for the day.

[bert]

good on you, Chris.

you have a kind heart.


(but we all knew that already).


hugs.

and good karma back attcha.

bert

[Bookman]

Down here in New Zealand we seem to have very few homeless people or beggars. It was, therefore, quite a shock for my wife and I to see homeless people begging with signs on nearly every street corner while we were holidaying in Vancouver, Canada in 2000.

At first I couldn't understand why everybody just seemed to not see the people and just walked right past them without making any type of acknowledgment. I dropped some spare change into the 1st guys dish but by the time I got to the 6th guy, I realised I'd be broke if I gave to all of them and before I knew it I was trying to avoid eye contact and walking right past them.

I felt like scum, but I just didn't know what else to do. I genuinely felt like I couldn't help them all.

BUT, if I was in the diner, I'd do exactly the same thing as Solaris!